This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Something on your mind? Chat about it here. I’m on the hunt for new blush, ladies — what are you liking? I really liked Nars Orgasm (pictured) but then it shattered (yaaaay), then I bought Tarte blush, which is OK but a bit bright for me. Do you have any bronzer/blush combos you like? Failing any good suggestions I think I’ll just get another order of Nars, which is $30 at Nordstrom. Nars Blush (L-2)Workwear sales of note for 3.26.24
Our favorites are in bold!
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off all workwear
- J.Crew – Annual Spring Event: 40% off sitewide; extra 40% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 15% off accessories; extra 50% off clearance
- Nordstrom – Spring Sale: Up to 50% off
- Talbots – 25% off your purchase, includes all markdowns
- Theory – Friends & Family Sale: 25% off
- White House Black Market – Up to 50% off sale styles; 25% off full-price tops; 25% off jackets, pants & more
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Stay tuned for a list of our latest threadjacks!
Anonymous
I used to use NARS Orgasm, but now I like MAC powder blush in Margin even better. I have dark hair, fair skin, and blue eyes (“cool summer” coloring).
Reality check
I need a reality check. I’m in a LTR (committed, not married nor any interest in being married) and we’ve lived together 11 years now. We are both very independent types. No kids, but somewhat demanding jobs. I’m becoming increasingly frustrated because in the last year or so he pretty much lacks any consideration for me. I don’t know if it is just out of ignorance or he just doesn’t care anymore. He is happy to do things with me when it benefits him, but if its an inconvenience to him or requires effort he doesn’t want to make, it’s not happening. If something needs to be done for his job or his elderly mother, he jumps to get it done, no question or hesitation. (And I’m not saying he shouldn’t, of course he should.) But when I ask him to do something, he generally agrees it needs to be done and then flat out ignores it after that. He insisted on buying a house that I didn’t even like that needs all kinds of fixing up and maintenance that is being ignored. Nagging doesn’t work, and I have to more or less throw a tantrum to get him to do something. (This is not at all my personality and I’m actually very laid back so I only use that as a last resort, like when we needed to get the house ready for Thanksgiving). Another example, we drove a couple hours to a concert several months back, during which he decided since it was a band I liked and he didn’t care to be there, he would just ditch me and the people we were with (my friends, not his) to go hang out somewhere else. I do things with him all the time that I don’t particularly enjoy, but he never repays the favor and after the fight I had with him over that, I don’t even ask anymore. I’ve more or less stopped doing things like that for him also since that night since it seems unfair that I always do when he won’t for me, but I that actually makes me feel worse. I’ve twice tried to calmly explain to him how I feel when he ignores my feelings like this and that I feel like I have to do everything myself or it doesn’t get done. He acknowledges what I say, and then does absolutely nothing thereafter. He’s not the type to talk about feelings and avoids confrontation at all costs (which I think is the only reason throwing a fit works).. I even booked both of us a day off of work to try and get things done and he weaseled out of doing anything at all that day. It isn’t a time issue, we are both very busy but he chooses to just spend all his free time just on what he wants to do. Don’t get me wrong, we generally enjoy our time together and some of the highlights of my week are getting to spend time talking together after a long week or working out together, but I don’t know what else to do. These are just examples but there are other things, too. Every week I swap between acknowledging I can’t change him and deciding that since most everything else is good that I should just relax and not worry so much about things like if the house isn’t how I want it, to getting resentful that he is blatantly ignoring things that I have told him are important to me and feeling like I either have to do everything myself or it won’t get done. (And that just more or less means it won’t get done because the idea of tackling house projects seems intimidating on my own at best and possibly problematic with only one of us on board with it, especially since it’s technically not even my house.) Today he really frustrated me by telling me that Presidents day, which we are both supposed to have off together, he’s going to be getting on a long international flight for work instead. No thought at all about whether I wanted to do anything (I did) or that it would affect me too. I guess I just need some perspective. Are these things that I just need to learn to let go, or do I have a more serious problem going on here?
Wildkitten
A sudden change of behavior in a person is a cause for concern. Any chance it’s a mental health issue like depression?
Reality check
Not impossible I guess, but he doesn’t seem that way, especially if I manage to break him away from other distractions. He does have some work stress and he’s become a bit obsessed with a video game lately, but he’s always been the type to use tv etc as his way of “relaxing”. And on days where I’m not so nice with my frustration, he does say things like “I know, I’m an awful person.”
Senior Attorney
Your post and this reply implicate two of my relationship rules:
1. When people tell you who they are, you should believe them. He is certainly acting like an awful person. Or at least a gigantic narcissist.
2. A relationship stands or falls on its worst moments. Sure, most everything else is good but this behavior sounds pretty bad and it sounds like it’s poisoning everything else.
My former husband was like this and I tried my best to appreciate the good things and live with the bad things/get him to change, but ultimately I realized that he understood perfectly well what I wanted and needed and he just plain wasn’t interested in stepping up. And that was not okay with me. I left and never looked back and it was the best thing I ever did.
Idea
Um, I don’t think you 2 are in a relationship anymore. It sounds like he doesn’t care about what you want or need, or even for the both of you — weren’t you BOTH hosting Thanksgiving?
Little Red
Sounds like he’s checked out of your relationship. I’d start planning for the eventual move out.
Anonymous
Story.of.my.last.seven.years.
Intently watching replies.
Anon for this
Okay, as someone who did some of this stuff during a marriage where I was happy and it ended suddenly and badly after a decade, it is possible to be a bit clueless. I was busy with career, I adored him and valued him but did not show it well through the little actions at all I guess. I wish I had known that earlier and had a chance to do better. But habits die hard, dynamics take shape. I don’t have a ton of confidence in most counselors but there is one kind called EFT Emotional Freedom Therapy and an accompanying book called Hold Me Tight that for me helped get into some of the deep trigger below surface stuff… too late in our case but that is my first idea. I don’t know. Just saying he may have good intentions, truly care, and just not understand how these little things are hurting you. I often thought our big stuff was good so the little stuff was okay and he was ‘used to me’… ie I never cheated or anything bad.. was just those little things. But they add up. Anyway I hope you can find a loving and creative way to connect with him on this, to share it, and that he responds. Good luck! I have reflected a lot since then and try harder now to do better, but honestly I have similar patterns in new relationships, because humans are creatures of habit. I told the last guy I strongly needed and wanted him to hold me accountable for these things. He tried. Anyway, if you have patience and understanding it may be possible to support him to improve himself. Anyone without a mindset of wanting to improve themself? Hmm that is harder.
Reality check
As I said, I’ve sat him down twice and explained how much it hurts my feelings that he acts this way – he generally says things like “Thank you for telling me, I didn’t realize you felt that way” so I know he’s hearing. me – but then we’re back to square one after. No indication that he wants to or is trying to improve. It doesn’t even change for a little bit after we talk. His feeling seems to be that if I want those kinds of things, I should just do them. Maybe I just start with something and see if I can get him to pitch in (when it’s not an abstract thing I’m just talking about anymore).
anonymous
He may just not know what to do about it. My husband doesn’t generally behave like what you described, but when I’m upset and I tell him my feelings are hurt because of x, he says the same things, and then nothing really ever changed. It turns out the clueless factor is fairly high, and he needs to be given very specific action steps on what should be different next time. It also needs to be phrased as something that he should do, and not something that he should not do, because in the latter case he doesn’t know what behavior to replace the thing he’s no longer doing. He also needs a specific timeline (please do the dishes tonight before 10pm, I feel good when you help around the house) rather than “It hurts my feelings when do you don’t help out around the house and stick me with all the work”
It concerns me though that there seems to be a recent change in behavior, though. That makes me think there’s more going on here that needs to be dealt with. I’m sorry you’re going through this- it sucks to feel like your partner doesn’t value you.
Reality check
Also, the house part is not new. We’ve owned it 8 years now with virtually nothing having been done save one half bath that is still not quite done. The things like the concert and video game, though, are newer.
Anonymous
Insist on moving.
Anonymous
Or just hire a contractor. Start with finishing the half bath. Move on to the next priority. At least you’re getting it in shape for a sale.
And ask yourself why you let yourself be steamrolled into buying a house you hate and living there for 8 years without fixing it.
Little Red
Wait. Do you have a financial/legal stake in the house or are you just living there and paying him rent?
Reality Check
Neither. I don’t pay rent; I did at first and then I told him it really wasn’t fair that I was putting money toward a house that isn’t mine and I don’t have control over, and really he doesn’t need the money. The mtg is actually super cheap and I contribute a lot to other household expenses (like most of our groceries, pet care, etc). He wanted it, he pays for it. And yeah, I’ve matured a lot in eight years but I had a lot less self confidence then and I didn’t feel like I had much say since it wasn’t my money buying the house. I’m more than happy to contribute to updates since I’m the one who wants them, though. I’m not so unreasonable as to expect him to organize and pay for all of it but I need him to at least meet me halfway.
Thank you for all of your comments. I think they all have some merit but in another conversion I had with him today, he seems to be hurt by the idea that I’m not getting what I need from him. He asked me to help him with something and I did, but I also used it as an opportunity to show how he reacted when the shoe was on the other foot a few days ago and it was me asking for help for something similar. I think it’s a combination of being wrapped up in his own stuff and me not being clear enough in what I need. Just saying generalities without a specific action plan doesn’t seem to work with him. I’ll work on that and if still nothing changes, then obviously it’s time to reconsider some things.
Reality Check
Oh, and no chance we are doing this stuff ourselves. Definitey would require hiring contractors.
Vacuum recs?
So, I’ve never bought a vacuum before, and I am completely overwhelmed by options. I need a vacuum that will work well on hard surfaces (laminate and hardwood), carpets, and both low pile and shag area rugs. I have a dog that sheds a ton and a baby. I’m also looking for a vacuum that can easily get serviced if necessary.
So far, I’m considering upright Shark, Miele, and Dyson models. I always think of upright models as easier to use, but would be open to a canister if that’s easier.
Desperate for any/all recommendations! Absolute top price limit is $700, though if I could get something significantly cheaper it would be nice…
Anonymous
I love my Oreck. It has bags, which make emptying it much less messy. If you change the bag when it fills up and the belt once a year or so, it will last a long time. Our first one lasted a decade. It is highly effective and very lightweight.
Anonymous
Do you have multiple floors of house to vacuum? Think about lugging up and downstairs- you may want a good one AND a second one so you don’t have to do stairs.
Do you have a cleaning service or is this all DIY? Do you want bag less (messier but no bags to buy)? How often do you use it?
Meg March
Check out the Sweet Home– they’ve done writeups on vacuums before. I have the Shark Navigator (I think) and love it. It’s got a long warranty and I’ve never had any problems with it.
tesyaa
I truly love my Dyson. It changed my life. (Mine is almost 10 years old and is good as new after a few repairs).
lsw
Me too! I have the Dyson animal. We have a mix of hardwood and rugs like you, and a carpeted hallway. I also have a pit mix who sheds like a freaking maniac. This vac works great and it’s light enough to carry upstairs and vac the stairs too. Highly recommend it.
LadyJustice
I really need to up my appearance game for a new high profile job I may get. Where can I go to get a makeup lesson where they don’t try and sell me $250.00 worth of product? And have any of you used an image consultant? How did you find them and was it worth it?
Wildkitten
Youtube.
Anonymous
Are there any specific posters/channels/tutorials people recommend?
CJM
Lisa Eldridge on youtube. She is a successful celebrity makeup artist and does many videos explaining how to do basic makeup looks. Here is one good video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEtK9a-SSZs
Ems
Do you have a friend who is good at this? I think you could also go to someone at the department store beauty section or Sephore whose makeup you like and book an appointment. The thing about Sephora is a lot of folks wear makeup at a makeup store, and not for “high profile job”.
Perhaps check out extra petite or franish for their tutorials?
Anonymous
Bobbi Brown counters. Natural and fresh makeup.
Tara
Hello!
I found this site this summer when doing some research for a conference I went to. I loved it! I just accepted a job offer in a corporate enviornment and it’s my first time in this kind of setting. When I started to research proper wardrobe options I immediately thought of here.
I would love some help on what wardrobe pieces to invest in. All my previous jobs have been very casual (I lived in jeggings and nice tops!). I have some time to build since I don’t start for a month.
I’m a size 14 and have a have a larger chest (I have issues with buttons downs). I own a great pair of black pants and a blazer and just a few tops that I got all for interviews. My budget will be small. I would love any suggestions you have.
Also basic jewelry tips would be great too!
I have searched on the site and do have some ideas but would love community feedback too.
Thank you!
Bensonrabble
I don’t know if you are still reading this but I would recommend Macy’s for decent work clothes. With sales and coupons, your budget will stretch. I think black pants, grey pants, and navy/brown should cover you to start. Mix in knit sweater tops and one more blazer and you have the basics. Look in the archives for this site if you havent already. And congrats on the job!
Tara
Thanks! I appreciate it!!!
L
My absolute favorite brush was Limited Edition unfortunately – MAC Small Vanity. However, I also love Nars Goulue. I like Nars Deep Throat better than Orgasm. I have medium skin. My Mom is lighter than me and loves Tarte Exposed. Looks like nothing in the pan but is beautiful on the skin. I’ve heard really good things about Too Faced Loved Flush blushes.
Me
First, resetting your broken blush is a snap, just pour a little rubbing alcohol in the the blush and mash it back with a spoon or spreading knife. Leave it open in the air. The alcohol dries up but leaves the blush whole again. My mom is a chemistry teacher and taught me this trick years ago.
I love Nars blush and have similar feelings about Tarte. I’m a super pale, so I can’t go as bold as orgasm.