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Updated: Oct 19, 2022 155 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Fashion· Shoes |

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Franco Sarto ‘Tazer’ Sandal (Nordstrom Exclusive)

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Pictured: Our weekend recommendation is this amazing sandal from Franco Sarto.

No, the sandal does not look like a lot in the picture — but we couldn't take our eyes off it at Nordstrom the other day.

We love the very of-the-moment look, as well as the super-soft leather, and the wedge is actually vaguely walkable.

We also liked that the “stone” color is just a tone or two muddier than our own skin. Add to that the 28 glowing customer reviews, and you've got yourself a winner.

The sandals are $99, exclusively at Nordstrom.

Franco Sarto ‘Tazer' Sandal (Nordstrom Exclusive)

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • MJ

      Not the same shoe. JCrew has a leather sole, canvas does not. I have not been a fan of JCrew ballet flats over the years. But I have been coveting the floral Canvas ballet flat, except that it’s $79….

        • AIMS

          It has zero support. It makes walking less than pleasant (you literally feel every crack in the concrete). If I am wearing flats, I expect them to be comfy . . . otherwise, why not wear heels?

      • Bets

        I love the look of the Canvas flats in black suede–but I live in rainy Seattle. Does anyone know if you can waterproof suede to keep it from getting stained/watermarked?

        • K

          I know that you can spray them with a suede protector, but that wouldn’t turn them into rainboots! :)

        • Eponine

          I have sprayed several pairs of suede shoes with a waterproofing spray (Kiwi brand maybe? A silicone based one) and have never had a problem.

        • Shayna

          I’ve used waterproofing spray — keeps them from getting marked/stained (although I have not had lighter shades of suede, mostly coffee brown/black)

    • s in Chicago

      In my experience, flats at J.Crew are awful. I don’t know about these, but the ones I’ve tried in the past have NO support whatsoever. It’s like being barefoot, and not in a good way. I kind of blame them for a bout of planter fasciitis I had. Frankly, I expect more quality at their usual price point. I would try the Lands End ones first.

    • Annapolis Grad

      My local Sears has the Land’s End line and I don’t think the flats look particularly graceful or delicate… They just look and feel stiff to me. I want to like them, but haven’t ever purchased a pair.

  2. cat

    For those with the relevant IT/management experience, especially in law firms, I have always wondered how and to what extent the firm monitors/records your online activity. Do they save every page you’ve looked at in IE, even if you’ve deleted files and cleared your cache? Do they periodically monitor what you’re looking at and analyze what and how long you’re looking at something? Record keystrokes?

    • JH

      The answer would depend, in part, on the individual company’s email and internet policy regulating personal usage. A good place to start is the employee handbook.

    • ARinFL

      I worked as a law firm IT manager (and paralegal on occasion) for the last two years. From my experience it depends ENTIRELY on the firm. My IT department certainly can monitor all online activity, including all the recent websites you have visted, even if you clear your cache and cookies. However, we choose not to. The only thing we ever monitor is streaming music and streaming video. Because this uses more bandwidth, we will occasionally take a look at all the people who are online, then determine who is streaming music or video. But other than that, we really don’t monitor it at all.

      I have spoken with a number of IT managers who operate mostly the same way. However, I have also spoken with a few IT managers who monitor the staff much more closely.

      I know this probably isn’t much help, but I think it varies so much from firm to firm. When your IT people are on site, you could just ask them. Just in a ‘curiosity’ kind of way. i.e. Do you log how many people log on remotely on a regular basis, their internet activity, whether we are streaming music or anything like that? I have had people ask me that and I have no problem answering.

      • divaliscious11

        My BigLaw was like this. I got a visit from IT one day to find out what I was streaming…My daycare at the time had a live stream into each class, so I used to check and see what my son was doing … especially during floor time etc…

    • A.

      My husband is in IT, and in his last job managed the staff that did the Internet monitoring at his employer. His company was not that big, but because they handled sensitive health information from clients, the company insisted on monitoring everything. I mean eve.ry.thing. Keystrokes, screen captures, you name it. However, they collected the info, but the only time he ever looked at it was when A. they suspected a problem with someone, and I don’t mean “that person is on the Internet too much,” more like “I saw that guy looking at por n in his office,” or B. they needed an additional reason to fire someone who was a problem in other areas. More or less everyone in the company had violated the Internet use policy at one point, so it wasn’t hard to add those violations to a list of reasons why they were terminating someone. I wouldn’t be paranoid but honestly – the best thing about new smartphones is their Internet-surfing capabilities :) I would just be cautious and do understand that they probably are watching – it’s just that they won’t use the info unless something else goes wrong. Oh, and p.s. – because they didn’t want the Internet activity logs taking up huge amounts of space on the server, they only kept certain information for a limited period of time, like three months.

    • anon

      “Do they save every page you’ve looked at in IE, even if you’ve deleted files and cleared your cache? ”

      Your company policy and handbook give general guidance, but after doing doc review during a bout of unemployment, I have learned that EVERYTHING is saved somewhere and discoverable. I now only ever use my work email to tell my husband I’m working late and I never ever surf the internet at work, because even google mail can be cached and later produced for discovery. Amusing for the doc reviewers, but absolutely cringe-worthy for the person whose entire internet life is laid out under Rule 26!

      • Anon

        What about if your firm pays for your phone? Like, you buy the hardware, they pay the bills kind of thing? Can they tell what you’re using your phone for?

        • anon

          yes the SIM card on the phone can also be produced. The chances of your company ever being involved in a major lawsuit might be slim…but some of the stuff I’ve read makes me so sad for the people whose emails/text messages/internet pages we had to read!

        • ARinFL

          We do this… All attorneys have iPh0nes and we pay the bill. I download the full-detail bill every month that tells me (i) what numbers you call (ii) how often you call them (iii) how many minutes you talk to each number (iv) who text (v) how often / how many times, etc., etc., etc., etc.

          The only thing we really do with it is monitor it for overages. Or when someone leaves (or is leaving soon) we monitor it more closely. But, without the SIM card ( which anon is correct – can be compelled into discovery) we can’t determine too much more. Take a look at your home cell phone bill… That’s the same thing we get.

          In addition, depending on the phone company (but definitely AT&T or Verizon) you can create a login online and view your own bill. It will be identical to what your company can see.

    • Shayna

      My company just contrcted with an external firm to have all internet activity go out through their servers for checking for inapropriate sites/possible virus/malware issues and go back to our machines — I’m thinking that carries with it a lot mor erecording/analysis –

      Most of my companie’s assets or of the intangible property variety, so protecting that is always paramount

    • LizM

      It’s a little different for me, since I work in government, but they CAN monitor anything and everything (including personal email if I check it on a work computer). However, they only look into it if there’s a problem. We do have a pretty large filter that prevents certain sites. However, there is a system in place that if someone even googles something inappropriate (specifically po rn or online gambling), it sends a message to your supervisor, and they are required to address it somehow.

    • mille

      The picture at the top of the blog kills me….toes sticking out over the end of the shoe. It doesn’t look good, and is one of my biggest pet peeves.

      • Shayna

        I just can’t see that as being anything less than painful – and if it isn’t comfortable (or at least walk-able) then I’m not wearing it!

    • RKS

      Ick — major pet peeve here, too! Just saw a woman in DC last week wearing strappy heels with a small toe box. Her pinky toe was hanging out over the edge. Folks, if your foot doesn’t fit into the shoe, don’t buy it, no matter how cute it is!

  4. TB

    I know Kat featured an eyelash curler last week, but I didn’t get to ask this before:

    Is there any point in using an eyelash curler if you don’t wear mascara? I have fairly dark eyelashes and prefer my natural coloring to the smeared raccoon eye that always happens when I attempt mascara. But maybe I can incorporate a curler into my routine anyway… Any hidden secrets for using what I’ve always thought looks like a medieval torture device?

    Thanks,
    TB

    • cat

      Yes, the curler will still curl your lashes and help them frame your eyes. The usual tips are to start at the base and then crimp again halfway down the lashes. If you don’t like mascara, try using vaseline – it makes your lashes look thicker and darker w/no smudging though it won’t hold the curl as much as mascara. My favorite mascara is bliss’ kissme – it’s the “tubes” technology which doesn’t smear. (I can’t seem to find the cheaper advertised L’oreal version, anyone? Has it been discontinued?)

      • Shayna

        Try clear masacara instead of vaseline — vaseline can give a greasy look which is somewhat less than attactive

      • SC

        You can buy the L’Oreal mascara at CVS (or, I imagine, at any equivalent drugstore). It is a godsend!

    • AIMS

      I would actually say that curling sans mascara is pretty pointless. The curling effect will be gone within half an hour (or less) w/o mascara to hold it in place.

      But you can use a clear mascara — this will hold the curl in place, but w/o the racoon effect you do not want.

      • PT

        Yup – curling without mascara falls out pretty quickly. I just got new eye glasses today and my lashes brush up against them. The woman and the glasses store told me to curl them, but the curl fell right out without mascara. I don’t feel like being bothered with mascara, especially around allergy season with my eyes already watery and irritated. I am considering trimming my lashes ever so slightly. I hope this is not a great sin against womankind.

        • Karen

          Trimming does not strike me as a sin, but I bet a lot of women are cursing you out of jealousy right now for having this problem. :) You must have fabulous lashes!

        • Eponine

          I have this problem and I just wear my glasses a bit further down my nose.

          Trimming them strikes me as very unlikely to come out looking good.

    • jcb

      I second the Blinc “Kiss Me” mascara. It is the only mascara that does not leave smudges under my eyes. The tube technology is a god-send. Otherwise, I’d agree that curling your lashes probably won’t last very long wth nothing to hold them that way. Have never heard of the vaseline trick though (but suspect that it wld leave my contacts a little blurry).

      By the way – I actually bought the Blinc heated eyelash curler, more out of curiosity than anything else, and it works really well. Much better than the medieval-looking contraption. That being said, I started to suspect that the heat was not good for my lashes and was causing them to break off. Couldn’t really confirm that though.

  5. Lily

    Warning : Law student seeking career advice —

    I’m a 3L at a top law school, and I have no job prospects. Decent grades (3.5 GPA); lots of work and journal experience. I’ve liked my tax classes, and out of desperation applied to NYU’s tax LLM program. I was accepted, but there’s no scholarship money left.

    I’m not sure whether I should go. For one thing, it means taking out at least $60K in loans (right now I’m debt free). For another, I’ve heard that for the (NYU tax LLM) classes of 2009 and 2010, job prospects were/are looking grim upon graduation.

    If you have any opinions, I would be very grateful to hear them.

    On a related note: If my school offers me a “research fellow” position (which is likely; my school is not interested in reporting that its graduates are unemployed), would it be better to take that for six to twelve months, see if I can get a paying job as a result, and, if I’m still unemployed, to start at NYU in fall 2011?

    • katelaw

      If I were you, I wouldn’t do the LLM program. If job prospects from NYU LLM alumni aren’t good now anyways, why bother saddling yourself with otherwise unnecessary debt? Just be thankful you’re debt-free now, and enjoy the (relative) freedom that comes with it. Good luck!

    • AIMS

      I would avoid the LLM unless you’re really, really interested in tax. From what I know re: people who take that path, it rarely pays off. Plus you are now debt free, whereas you would end up with a sizable chunk of debt if you did the LLM program. It will read on your resume as though you had no other options, not the effect you nec want to project; and so many people are going to do it, it’s going to create a glut. So I would say avoid that route.

      Also: you are probably not in as bad a place as you think (really!). You have no loans, which is amazing, and you have good grades from a good school. The economy will improve; trust me. Meanwhile you have a freedom that very few people do. I would take the school fellowship & look for a job as you graduate (don’t do this while you are getting ready for the bar; just focus on the bar). Many people (most, in fact) find work after they graduate (not before) — you will, too!! I know it sounds scary now, but trust me — you will be okay, you will find work post-grad, and if you’re loan free you’ll be able to be much more flexible in terms of what kind of work you can afford to take on to build your resume & earn experience.
      Best of luck! And don’t despair, it will work out.

      • Bets

        Also, look at your other options–have you always wanted to travel internationally/volunteer/fill in the blank? If you’re loan-free, this is probably the best chance you’ll ever have to do just that. Instead of freaking out, look at this as an opportunity. Plus, having something cool to fill in that blank in your resume will make you stand out–after all, when all the other interviewees were working retail to pay off their loans, you were volunteering with a charity/working on a political campaign/ trekking in the Himalayas, etc.

    • Eva

      The LLM seems like a decidedly bad choice. Research fellow would make a lot more sense both financially and on your resume in my opinion, and if you found a job mid-year, you could probably just take it (whereas if you start and pay for the LLM, you’ll almost certainly want to finish). I know people doing tax who didn’t get any specialized education, so it’s not like you’re writing off a potentially awesome (for you) career path.

    • jcb

      Depends on whether you are interested in tax. I’m an attorney in a tax-based specialty. If you are going into the area, it is great to have the tax LLM on your resume. I’d say it’s the only LLM that seems very useful – I know a couple of tax attorneys who actually got their LLMs while working at the firm. Tax practices have a huge learning curve the first few years and it is difficult to find interested, smart first years who get the issues and can do the work, so an LLM could get your foot in the door.

      That being said, from your post it sounds like you aren’t so much focused on tax practice as casting around for options in this awful market. If that’s the case – don’t do it! Nothing worse than being stuck in a practice you dislike. If there are no law jobs for you right now, find something else to do.

      • Lily

        Thanks, everyone, for the responses. I’m glad my instinct for fellowship over LLM has been affirmed.

        My ambivalence about tax isn’t really about the practice area. Of all the things I’ve studied, I’ve by far liked it the most, and the tax attorneys I know are much happier with their work than are their corporate and litigation peers. However, (1) I haven’t had much tax experience in private practice, so I’m not sure I’ll love the paying work as much as I do the study; (2) most tax LLMs earn their degrees while they’re working (and their firms foot the bill); and (3) if I take on that kind of debt, I’m really limited to biglaw (or will be in debt until it’s time for my kids to go to college). Plus, I’m sick of school.

        I’m pretty sure I will (happily) go into tax if ever the job market rebounds; I’m just not confident the LLM will help me land a job in it.

        Again, thanks.

        (Sorry if this appears twice.)

        • KZ

          speaking as an NYU 3L with (currently) no (law) job prospects (but there’s always politics, thank god for internships where they liked me), not going is definitely the right decision. Debt is a killer, and I only know 1 tax LLM, but I don’t think she has a job yet, so yea… Stay debt-free. It’s a beautiful thing. Plus, if you do end up with a tax job and it turns out you really like it, you can always go back when the economy improves if you need the LLM for anything.

          (and if anyone else out there has advice for finding a job… please share with the desperate 3Ls!)

          • Tina

            I’m a 3L about to graduate too! I’ve been debating the idea of the LLM in Tax (NYU’s program) for the past 6 months. I have an advanced estate planning classes in law school now that I love, but not sure I want to limit myself to that practice area, and I’m not sure I want to pile on any more debt. Just wanted to thank everyone for the feedback and thank Lily for posting the question!

    • LLM

      I wouldn’t do the LLM just to do it, and honestly, if you already went to a top school, the LLM isn’t going to help you that much. If you really like tax law it’s better to work a couple years and then get the LLM. If you can defer for a year, and work as a research assistant or something, that’s a better idea especially if your work is related to tax (plus, maybe scholarships will be available again for fall 2011).

      Getting an LLM can pay off in the long run (speaking as someone who has an LLM – I know) but a lot of people get them for the wrong reason. And if you got in now with no experience, you’ll get in again in the future once you have some experience and are sure of what you want to do.

    • CJ in CA

      I’m a 3L who got a job. I would say don’t do the LLM- debt will really limit your options in the future.

      To anyone looking for a job I think there are 2 things that can make a big difference. Both require some sacrifice of what you thought post-law school life would look like. You may have already done these, but I’ll put them out anyway.

      1) Expand your geographic area. And I don’t just mean NY and LA. Start thinking about any place your random cousins, uncles, college friends, etc. live. Apply to firms in smaller cities or “flyover states.” It might not be worth it to you, but if you really want a job, consider it.

      2) Expand your firm range. Don’t just apply to big firms (by which I mean over 50 attorneys). Look at partnerships even. It doesn’t cost you anything to send them a resume. Look at firms that do related areas or things you don’t really want to do forever- insurance coverage, construction defect, family law, whatever.

      Once you create a list of all the firms (which should be big- maybe more than 100), sell yourself to them in you cover letter. Ask for an informational interview etc.

      The result is you’ll probably waste a ton of time. You’ll probably end up with a job someplace you don’t like or doing something you don’t like. You have to decide how much you want a job. Maybe everyone’s already done this, but it took a while for me at least to give up the idea of living where I wanted, and doing something I liked, for a reasonable amount of money.

      Gah, this sounds so depressing. Here’s a cute kitten and puppy picture to cheer us up! http://cuteoverload.com/2010/03/25/scaredy-cat-needs-security-pup/

      • KZ

        yea, already doing that and it just seems like absolutely no one is hiring (I thought I’d go back home to Georgia, or back to North Carolina where I went to college, but it turns out the legal market in the South right now may even be worse than New York). Luckily, it seems like I’m starting to see more government/public interest/fellowship type things popping up in the past week or so, so maybe something will come of those (and soon, hopefully–balancing job hunting with the soon-to-be-intense finals studying is not looking appealing).

        And the cute puppy and kitten picture definitely helped with the cheering up:-)

        • 3L

          KZ, Im with you. I applied for clerkships across the country and got nowhere. I am currently looking at Miami and NYC, probably a restrictive limit, but I’ve been searching and networking tirelessly everywhere – even non-legal jobs – to no avail.

          I think the time has come to narrow down the searching until after the bar. For some reason, even if they don’t know whether or not you passed, employers seem to prefer to hire graduates after they take the bar. So come August, it will be time to kick the job hunt into full gear. Unfortunately, I am not so patient and can’t believe that it’s gotten to this point. 2 master’s and no job (JD/MBA here).

          But hooray for puppies and kittens!

          • divaliscious11

            This won’t necessarily work for you, but may be helpful for other readers, if you are applying for clerkships, make sure other people you know, know about it. I was a summer associate, and had just come back from my interview with my judge, and one of the partners I’d justed started working with had been a summer associate with my judge back in the 60’s. He called my judge and basically told me, he already likes you kid. My judge later told me that he called back after I finished the project and had really good things to say about my work. It was a rotation partner, totally not in my area of law, but you never know who can put in a good word for you.

        • RKS

          If you are thinking gov’t, my biggest advice is to network like crazy. I do a lot of hiring for my office (I’m in the general counsel’s office in a small fed agency). I can’t count the number of resumes we get for each position; it’s astronomical. What will help you immensely is some kind of foot in the door. Law school alum at the agency? Friend of a friend? ANYTHING to make your resume stand out, because we’ve already got 1,000 other great students.

          One of our interns for this coming summer made it out of our 2nd tier pile into an offer b/c her former employer contacted a friend at the agency and gave her fantastic reference. We usually only do reference checks at the end so would not have gotten this. It made a critical difference to her, gave her an edge over everyone else. Also helped that her former employer was in our narrow industry.

    • Jen

      I’m currently getting my LL.M in intellectual property and you might be interested in my reasons. I went to school in the pacific northwest, but I’ve always wanted to practice in New York. I ended up taking summer classes after my 1L year and then got course credit for an unpaid internship after my 2L year, so I was able to graduate a semester early. Both summers I tried to get a job in New York but found it impossible. I had no real job prospects when I graduated this past December. I decided to do the LL.M program because it would allow me to make contacts in New York, give me the chance to experience New York before taking the Bar exam so I would know whether I wanted to stay here, and postpone entering the job market for awhile longer. I am so jealous that you don’t have any loans because graduating with so much debt and no job prospects was terrifying for me. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, i just thought you should hear another perspective.

    • anon2

      In contrast to the others, I’d say that if you have a genuine interest in tax and have done well in your tax classes and are planning on someday practicing in tax — then get the LLM. It will make you more marketable, I have seen quite a few job ads recently where they want either an accounting degree or tax LLM in addition to the JD and firm experience. I’m currently practicing in tax and it’s very hard to do an LLM while currently working. I do sort of wish I’d gotten one already, and if for instance I get laid off I may go do it. Despite the debt, though thats hard to ignore. But anywyas, if you’re genuinely interested in tax, you should really consider doing it.

      In the meantime, if you have any questions about practicing in tax, let me know and I”ll try to answer.

    • Karen

      I think the point about it being hard to go to school at the same time you get your LLM is a good one. OTOH, the fellowship would give you lots of free time, in which you could:

      1) Sign up for some volunteer tax work – e.g. doing taxes for low-income folks – to see if you like the practice as much as the theory. I loved corporate law in theory, hated it in practice.

      2) Do some informational interviewing. This will get you on the radar screen of people who might put your resume in front of decisionmakers, while allowing you to learn more about the practice. I suggest emailing junior lawyers who went to your school – find them on Martindale – asking them to talk to you on the phone or meet for coffee. When speaking with them, focus on what the day-to-day life is like and how more senior lawyers in the area find clients and make themselves valuable to their firms. My sense is that tax is generally much less crisis-oriented than other practice areas, which can mean a less stressful life and more predictable schedule, but if you are an adrenaline junkie you might be bored.

      3) Figure out whether you want to do tax litigation or solely tax planning. If you might want to do litigation, consider spending some time watching actual hearings and trials. If you just want to do planning, consider applying to accounting firms as well as law firms (a friend of mine from a much worse school than you graduated last year and got a job at a small accounting firm that does tax work for small businesses and individuals).

      4) Join a bar association committee and get involved in a project.

      These options will expand your network, allow you to figure out what you want to do, and help you to hit the ground running once you find a job.

      Unless you’re sure the LLM is for you, this seems worth doing. You can always apply for the LLM in six months or a year. Enjoy the leisure time and flexible schedule while you are young and debt-free. Use it to figure out what you want from your life and develop a career plan beyond “I’ll go to BigLaw and earn a bunch of $ and hope to make partnership someday.”

  6. MJ

    So, ladies…I’ve hit that magic time in a woman’s life: I am starting to get little baby crow’s feet. What is the eye cream/gel that you swear by? I keep meaning to buy something, but I get overwhelmed…would love recs from my Corporette friends. Thanks!

    • jcb

      I love the Kiehl’s Abyissine eye cream. Use it every morning and night and it works wonders. I tried a bunch a few years ago (from drugstore to fancy brands) and ended up convinced that this one is the best (for me, at least).

      http://www.kiehls.com/_us/_en/face/collection.aspx?tcode=Abyssine

      Used to use the Olay eye cream, and still think it works pretty well and is more convenient to obtain, but it doesn’t work as well for as the Kiehl’s, and I kept having issues with quality – would frequently end up with containers of it that had seemed to have dried up a little, resulting in a weird consistency that was basically unusable.

    • Another MJ

      Bobbi Brown’s eye cream is very nice. I can’t promise that it will do away with the crow’s feet, but at least it will keep that area moisturized.

    • A.

      I love the entire Patricia Wexler anti-aging line from Bath and Body Works. I use the MMPI anti-aging serum and it stopped my teeny crows feet and forehead lines in their tracks. I know the effect won’t last forever, but right now, the effect is damn good. The other thing I have recently discovered that I like a lot is Stri-Vectin Q-Vectin COQ10 face cream. It is amazing.

    • Shayna

      Love Olay’s eye cream — I started getting those and the cream seems to have decreased their visibility, and staved off new ones — I also use neutrogena’s anti wrinkle anti acne cream on the rest of my face to keep away any other unnecessary little lines (while controlling the unfortunate spate of adult acne that crops up on occasion).

    • 40something

      I like Beauty Without Cruelty eye gel. It reduces the crow’s feet and puffiness, with no animal testing or nasty chemicals. I notice a huge difference on the nights I use it vs. the nights I forget.

  7. LegallyBlonde

    While we’re talking about eyes . . . I have hereditary dark circles, and they make me look older and exhausted all the time. Concealer helps, but doesn’t eliminate the problem. I’m at a point now where I can afford to do something about it. Has anyone had surgery for dark undereye circles? Done something else? If so, I would love to hear about your experience.

    • Lily

      I had surgery a few years ago. I think the procedure involved using a laser to shrink or eliminate some of the blood vessels. In my opinion, the whole thing was useless. The circles are just as dark, but I spent a month or two with swollen, drippy bags under the eyes. It may be that technology is better now, or maybe my circles were unusually, hopelessly dark. But in my case, I wish I hadn’t spent the money.

    • AIMS

      I have found an Origins cream helpful. Not surgery, and not magic but it’s made a difference.
      I forget what it’s called, but it’s in an orange jar and contains light reflecting mica, ginseng and caffeine.

      • CL

        I love the Origins cream too! The stuff in the orange jar is called GinZing and it really helps with my hereditary dark circles and is very moisturizing. Origins also has a great return policy. You can always return the product as long as you have a receipt. So you can use the eye cream for 6 weeks and if it’s not working for you, bring it back with the receipt and they’ll help you find something else that might work for you.

    • Shayna

      Have you tried using any of the colored concealers? I use a yellow toned one to cut the purple (on bad skin days I also use a green toned on to cut the red) — sounds a little crazy but works really well

      • Legally Blonde

        I use a yellow concealer, and it helps, but only in that it reduces the circles to “haven’t slept in a week” versus the usual “I’m dying of cholera” look. I’m going to order the origins cream and give it a try. I’ll report back. Thanks all!

  8. housecounsel

    I would skip the expensive creams and Botox those crow’s feet. I’m very serious. Botox will stop the progression, and at two injections a year you’ll save money over the long haul.

    I started Botox on my crow’s feet only in my early 30s.

    I buy cheap (Neutrogena) skin care products and save my cash for the good stuff from the dermatologist.

      • A.

        Yes – please tell us more. Cost, did it hurt, how long did it last, if/when you had to re-do it. Also, did you end up with any unwanted effects? I am seriously considering it for my forehead, but don’t want to end up with one of those weird expressionless faces like Nicole Kidman.

        • anon

          I got botox on my 11s (the term for the wrinkles between the brows) and it cost me less than $200 at the local medi-spa, plus the nurse gave me a freebie shot in my lips to make it look pouty instead of fake. The nurse knew I was a newbie, so she went easy with the injection to make my brows still move but the wrinkles were gone. It lasted about 5 months, and no side effects.

    • Karen

      Wow, you started in your early 30’s? Is the idea to stave off wrinkles before they start, or do you wait until you have them already? I am just barely starting to see some but don’t mind them – I am wondering whether I should start Botox now to prevent them from forming, or can wait until I hate them and then have the Botox to make them go away.

  9. housecounsel

    Botox on the crow’s feet only runs about $300 (I’m in Chicago). I only have it done two or three times a year, tops. Now that I’m a bit older I get it right above my eyebrows (the “Botox brow lift”) and between them to prevent the “elevens” from forming. When I get everything done at once, I pay about $650. I try to stagger the injections to different areas to avoid shocking the husband with that $650 charge.

    The injections are almost painless. There is a little pinch and a tiny red mark that lasts for maybe an hour. I don’t think I look weird and expressionless, although I know what “A” is saying, and I do think I have friends who would tell me if I looked weird. My mother certainly would.

  10. anon

    Hi all-

    So this may not be the right forum for this, but since it does say “weekend open thread” and it seems like other people use it for random questions including health stuff, I have my own random question to ask for help-

    What sort of treatments have any of you (or people you know) tired for depression that have worked successfully? I’d appreciate hearing anything, good or bad, about how people such as yourselves — successful with perhaps stressful jobs — have dealt with this. I think I’ve tried just about everything — the usual exercise and diet (I got to the gym several times a week!), seeing a doctor (psych) on a regular basis, taking various pills regularly, getting some sunshine and some contact with other people — but really none of it has helped, and I’ve been trying for an awful long time. I’m having a lot of trouble just geting out of bed, and so getting my work done is also becoming increasingly difficult. So if there is something else out that that I’m missing (e.g., ECT?) and that someone recommends, please please let me know.

    Thanks everyone

    • A.

      First off, I am sorry you’re struggling.

      My mom suffered with terrible depression for a long time. It turned out hers was related to hypothyroidism – her thyroid had basically stopped working. Once she got on Synthroid, she was able to get on a mild antidepressant and it actually worked, whereas before, antidepressants never did. So if you haven’t had a thyroid test, you might want to get one. It has made a world of difference for my mom.

      If your current psychologist is not helping you get results, it may be time for a switch. Psychologists can have very different approaches. If you’re seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist, you might try one that is more analytical, for example.

      The other thing I can suggest is acupuncture and treatment with Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). I have PCOS and went to a Doctor of Oriental Medicine when I was trying to conceive. They take much more of a “whole person” approach towards medical treatment, believing that health problems do not happen in isolation. I went for twice-weekly treatments for six months and it helped every single problem I had – the PCOS, my migraines, my anxiety, you name it. A good DOM will spend a lot of time talking with you about diet, lifestyle habits, family history, etc. and then suggest a treatment course that includes nutritional changes, Chinese medicine supplements, and acupuncture or possibly massage or other bodywork. I really cannot say enough about TCM – it is the reason I have my son and also the reason why today I am ten times calmer and healthier than I was before I started TCM treatment. I would get some referrals and at least go to a consultation with a DOM to see what you think.

      I hope you find some relief soon. Good luck.

      • Shayna

        I second the thyroid testing recommendation — It’s amazing how much better I feel when I’m on the synthroid compared to before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism – and unlike anti-depressants, there are no side effects from synthroid since its just replacing what your body would make naturally (also, incredibly cheap – generic is about $4/month and as I recall anti depressants were waaay more)

      • anon

        thank you for the responses.

        how would I find a reputable DOM? is there any organization that gives referrals? I’m a little skeptical of alternative medicines so going to someone that I know is reputable would probably help get over that..

        thanks for your input.

        • Robin

          Track your depression and see if it is related to your period cycles. I have periodically suffered from horrible depression. SSRIs do work for me, but I don’t love the side effects. My doctor tested my hormone levels through a saliva test and we found that my progesterone was really really low during the luteal phase of my cycle. This is linked to depression and other PMDD (severe PMS) symptoms. I am now on a progesterone cream that is identical to progesterone your body makes (not progestin — that is an artificial hormone marketed by the drug companies). I feel much more balanced and my feelings seem appropriate for the circumstances. Yes, I get stressed and depressed — but those are appropriate responses to some of the relationship and job issues in my life right now. I also recommend therapy with a good therapist. someone who really pushes you will help you grow, even if its difficult

          • Robin

            A couple other thoughts. Reiki has really helped me. I was skeptical, but its worth a try. I did get the name of a woman from a friend and the practitioner was recommended by this friend’s therapist. She deals with a lot of severely depressed people.

            Also, if your depression is related to a traumatic event (or potentially related), I have heard good things about EMDR from a friend.

          • MelD

            Great advice about hormones. It’s also a good idea to look at any hormones you might be on to make sure it’s not an issue. I was on one birth control pill that had horrible side effects. I would cry uncontrollably for no reason, overreact in stressful situations, and there wasn’t really anything I could do to make myself feel better. I was also getting almost daily migraines.

            Before I was on birth control, I also had problems because my monthly symptoms were so awful- migraines from 7-10 days, horrible cramps, mood swings, etc. Getting on the hormones that were right for me was really a life changer, but it took some patience trying out a few different options before something finally worked.

      • Anon

        You might also consider getting tested for anemia as well as thyroid problems. I became severely anemic a couple of years ago, which made my depression much, much worse. Even if you eat plenty of meat, as I do, your iron levels can get too low, which for me made me fell not only exhausted, but also sad, and overwhelmed. Since getting my iron levels up to a healthy level, I now have much more energy and SSRIs are effective for treating my depression/anxiety.

    • CL

      Oh sweetie, I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. First, you should absolutely have this discussion with a mental health professional. You said that you’ve tried several medications and therapy and if they’re not working then your doctor should know that. Sometimes it really takes awhile to get the right combination for your brain since everyone will respond to medications and therapy differently.

      ECT is an option that some people have found helpful. However, my understanding is that it’s used as a treatment of absolute last resort for extremely severe cases of depression (depression so severe that, for example, the person may be having a psychotic episode). Obviously there are risks involved with passing an electric current through someone’s brain.

      One thing you might want to discuss with your doctor is the extent to which your stressful career might be contributing to your depression. Chronic anxiety and depression are strongly related–where you find one you will typically find the other. It might be that a change to a less stressful career would help alleviate your symptoms and speed your recovery.

      Other than that, just don’t give up. As I stated previously, it can sometimes take awhile to find the right dosage/medication/combination for your body. Keep up the exercise and make sure that you go speak to your doctor (preferably a psychologist who can evaluate you and refer you to a psychiatrist–not your general practitioner).

    • Depression

      I was seriously depressed in law school, and two things helped. First, it turned out I had a hormonal/metabolic disorder. Getting treatment and controlling it has basically ended the depression. If you haven’t ever seen an endocrinologist, it’s worth seeing one and looking into whether hormonal issues are affecting your mood. Second, I have a cat. She was basically my little lifesaver. Having a pet to snuggle with and hold when you’re feeling completely miserable really helps, and I couldn’t contemplate suicide because I couldn’t imagine abandoning my cat. If you like pets generally, and you can handle the responsibility of a pet, you might consider getting one. Otherwise, perhaps look for a therapist who employs pet therapy – my mom is a psych nurse and she had a pet therapy dog, and I know it was enormously beneficial for her patients just to be able to play with and hug an animal.

      • Depression

        Also, do you have a few good friends and a decent social circle where you live? Are you involved with any community organizations? A lot of studies I’ve read about show that people who are active in their community and have a network of supportive friends are much more likely to be happy and live long lives. Could you begin volunteering with a community organization like a homeless meal program, Big Sisters, the local zoo, anything like that? And maybe take a yoga or pottery class where you’d meet more women friends?

      • Cats

        My cats were my lifesaver first year in law school as well, and for the same reason!

        • K

          My cats were my lifesaver first year in law school as well, and for the same reason!

    • Anonymous

      Have you tried increasing the dose of the medications? I was on anti-depressants for a year and felt like they were not doing anything. My doctor recommended increasing the dose beyond the “standard” dose and the higher dose started working for me. He said that in some people their body chemistry is such that the low doses don’t have any effect at all. Doctor’s almost always start with low doses when prescribing new medication, and I know experimenting with medications is a frustrating process when some pills take six weeks to show any effect.

      I would also recommend reading a book called The Venus Week. It is an excellent book on women’s hormones and really helped me understand my monthly mood cycles when I was finally trying to come off anti-depressants. The author also recommends taking a multi-vitamin daily to make sure you get the nutrients you need to feel better. Understanding the biology of the situation was helpful for me.

      I hope you find something that helps soon. Stay persistent and good luck!

      • Robin

        Vitamin D is a natural anti-depressant. Talk to your dr first, but it can be combined with SSRIs, I believe. In the winter, and if you use sunblock, its pretty easy to be vitamin D deficient.

        • Blue

          Yes, I have noticed a change for the better taking 2,000 IUs daily of Vitamin D. I also take good-quality (Nordic Naturals) fish oil, and use a light box each morning.

          My depression tends to be seasonal, and this year these daily strategies – along with daily dog-walking – have really helped.

    • Lobbyist

      My mom had adult-onset depression that was alternately misdiagnosed (bipolar) and led her to be, at times, curled up in a ball for months at a time, not showering or dressing or anything. Most antidepressants worked not at all and had terrible side effects. Coincidentally, I became friends with a psych md who does ect (electro shock therapy, Kitty Dukkakis had it and wrote a book about it) and so after much cajoling she tried it. It has been about 9 months and the difference is incredible. After seeing what she has gone through if it ever happens to me I would be very wary of medicine pills and would try ECT. Its worth looking in to at least.

    • anon too

      How very demoralizing for you. I’m going to chime in on the “make sure your psychiatrist has helped you try various dosages and combinations of medications” bandwagon. It took me four tries spread over about 8 months to wind up with my current combination of meds and doses: a high-ish dose of wellbutrin (the happy side effect is that it decreases your desire for emotional eating; no other common side effects) and a small dose of pristiq. Together, they have made an significant difference. This comes on top of also seeing a psychologist for talk therapy for 10 years. It was only in the last year that the biological component of depression manifested itself as severe anxiety, to a degree I could no longer handle easily. I have been in the middle of major life changes (rearing a teenager, remarrying with stepchildren, job loss, ongoing battles with a nasty ex) and my normal coping mechanisms for the anxiety/depression I have always been “wired with” no longer were enough.

      Don’t give up — remember that anything you try, you can always stop; and if you can dredge up the patience to try a number of different things, you’re far more likely to find something that helps. Do take care, and best of luck to you. You’ll be in my thoughts.

    • mille

      It might be worth it to talk to an expert to see if you are bipolar. I was just recently diagnosed after years of treatment for depression. Bipolar people can have very, very long depression cycles and really short manic stages. I improved immensely when put on bipolar medication. Which I had to stop taking when I found out I was pregnant. It really, really helped my depression.

    • Anon

      Hang in there. I have been there and I know it’s tough. I have found that the things that are most helpful are:

      1) Yoga – unlike other forms of exercise, yoga with a good teacher leaves me feeling incredibly calm and happy.

      2) Building in time for fun – if you are depressed, you MUST build into your schedule some time to do something you really love to do, even if you don’t think you have time. Something active like a sport, singing, dancing, visiting a museum, etc – not just reading or watching a movie. Prioritize this fun time over your work, even if you think you are too busy. It will help to know that you have something to look forward to. Schedule some time every week to plan something fun for the weekend. Give yourself permission to let all but the bare minimum (work, bills) slide – let all other chores and commitments slide for a little while so you can focus on having some pleasure in your life.

      3) Self-help books – not everyone feels this way, but I find reading good psychology books more helpful than seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. Some that I have found most helpful are:

      Feeling Good – David Burns
      Getting Your Life Back – Wright and Ramirez Basco

      Also, there is a trick from a book on obsessive-compusive disorder that I have found very helpful when I was ruminating on problems at work. You set aside a time every day when you do nothing but think about your problems for 10 minutes. It’s suprisingly hard to do, when you try. The rest of the time, when you find yourself worrying, tell yourself you will think about it during Worry Time. It is good to stop dwelling on your problems, but if you tell yourself to stop or think “what’s wrong with me” things get worse. This gets you to stop focusing on the problems without the self-flagellation that usually goes with the attempt not to.

      There are definitely a whole range of therapists out there, with different focuses and abilities. Keep trying, or see if there is a support group near you.

    • anon

      Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful responses.

      Some of these I’ve already tried but some I haven’t, and some of these I just need to force myself to try harder at (e.g., should really force myself out of the house and to be around other people, and as someone mentioned, to do ‘fun’ things; and I will continue to look into possible medical causes and talk with my psych doc about this some more). These are all helpful suggestions that I will try to implement.

      Thanks to all Corporetters for the advice. If you think of anything else, please keep it coming!

  11. addressing depression

    Are you also getting talk therapy? Are you self-diagnosing, or is someone helping you keep tabs on your treatment? And are you getting a cardio workout for at least 50 minutes a day, 5 days a week? I don’t do the latter, but there’s a study that says doing so is as effective as talk therapy (and medication combined? I can’t remember exactly, but it was in the WSJ a few years ago. The main point was that a simple half hour, 3X a week was NOT effective.).

    I’ve been seeing a therapist every week for 10 years now. Near the end of my first year w/ her, I started meeting with the psychiatrist that I now see twice a year. I was fortunate because Celexa worked for me right away, although I take 60 mg day. That’s common in Europe, but the max in the US is usually 40 mg.

    It’s good you’re addressing the issue. Don’t give up. I stopped taking birth control pills in January and was unprepared for the effect it had on my hormones. I thought my anti-depressants had stopped working. Then I found this book, “Beyond Blue” by Therese Borchard. I read it in one sitting in Barnes & Noble. She blogs here: http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue I don’t follow her blog, but her book helped me to accept where I was and to continue to take active steps to address my depression.

  12. CJ in CA

    Cole Haan Stefana (a black 2.5 inch heeled pump) is about $95 right now at SmartBargains.com, but only in sizes 6, 6.5, 7.5, and 8 . They are having a big Cole Haan clearance but it’s a lot of purses, belts and sunglasses. I covet these shoes, but it’s not a fit for me. Good Luck ladies!

    • Chicago K

      oh man, awesome deal. i just checked and they are all almost gone. Thanks for posting!

  13. c

    Anyone have any good suggestions for wedding shoes (for the bride)?

    I need something really comfortable because I’m not good in heels, but my future hubby is tall and I’m short, so I’ll go as high as I can get away with without sacrificing comfort. Also, I’m willing to spend a bit (like a couple hundred) IF they would be something I could wear again; otherwise, I’m poor and don’t really care about designer brands for something I’ll just wear once. My dress is ivory satin, if that helps. I’m pretty clueless about wedding fashion–I’m not one of those girls who has envisioned her wedding since day 1–so any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!

    • meg

      How long is your dress? if it’s floor length with a train, your shoes will basically not be visible, so you could probably do something like a nude heel (which would be re-wearable). Otherwise, I think an ivory satin sandal is the “norm” (and is what I wore…but have never worn again…)

    • Eponine

      Are your feet going to be visible? I know a few women whose feet weren’t visible who wore Crocs or flipflops underneath. I also like the idea of getting some sort of funky blue shoes to wear if they aren’t visible (for a little fun, and for your “something blue”). I am also terrible in heels and the most comfortable ones I own are wedges by Rockport and by Merrell. You could also try Naturalizer or Aerosoles for more budget-friendly comfort heels.

    • Julie

      I got married about a year and a half ago and bought “Something Blue” shoes – they’re a little pricey but I have to say they were really comfortable. I wore them all day, maybe 10+ hours constantly on my feet and they didn’t hurt for a second. Plus the soles are blue so if you care anything about the whole “something old, new, borrowed, and blue” thing it solves that problem without having to wear a blue garter or something.

    • c

      Thanks to everyone so far!! My dress is floor length – I don’t think anybody’s going to see much of my shoes. That’s why I’m not into spending much unless they’re going to be comfortable & re-wearable. I love the ideas about having a touch of blue on the shoes!! keep ’em coming, please! :)

        • Cat

          I’m guessing platforms will feel very dated (again) shortly — so I vote for #1 as it looks most classic. However, with no idea of your personal style (or dress shape — some just plain look best with the longest legs possible), please take with the appropriately sized grain of salt.

        • Chicago K

          I really like #3 and also #1. I am also planning a wedding (sort of, I haven’t done much yet between working full time and grad school) but I love the idea of being able to splurge on some expensive shoes I may be able to wear to the office after! Love it!

          • A

            I wore a full length dress that was on the ivory side of white, and I wore soft silver shoes. My wedding wasn’t a super matchy match affair though. My bridesmaids were in chocolate brown but all different dresses of different lengths and also wore soft silver shoes of their own choosing. My flowers were white roses with blue delphinium fillers. I too did not dream of my wedding, but it was such a fantastic day! I spent some money on my shoes (I definitely didn’t on my dress – got it off the rack at a department store), and I’ve worn them again and get compliments every time. Because no one else could really see them at the wedding, I felt like they were my special little thing that day. They just made me smile.

        • c

          Lizbet, I love those! So pretty – ordering now, they’re in the running! I have one pair of Naturalizer shoes – they’re black wedges that i wear under dress pants – probably the only shoe with a heel that I’ve ever owned that doesn’t bother me one bit after walking around all day.

          • Shayna

            Love naturalizer shoes — I have a pair of their wedges that I liked so much I went back for another pair in a different color!

      • SV

        My wedding was exactly 1 year ago, and shoes were a huge concern for me because comfort + style are so important. I had to order about 8 pair of shoes from zappos before I found one that was the best. (Also had to try on a bunch in stores, of course.)

        I ended up going for these: http://www.zappos.com/j-renee-whirl-gold

        Personally, I need a low-mid heel, and I need plenty of room for my widespread toes.

        As for my opinions on the ones posted so far, I think shoe #1 and the Naturalizer would be the top contenders based on pictures alone. #3 is super cute, but for me at least, the comfort would probably not be there.

        Best of luck!!!

    • KLo

      I wore huge, clunky (but GORGEOUS … trust me I guess …) Michael Kors platform pumps with a wooden sole. I can still wear them now, they kept me from having to hem my dress AND they didn’t sink into the field where we got married. I don’t think your shoes have to go with your dress at all. If you’re like me (and most brides I know), you’ll be barefoot as soon as you can take your shoes off. But congratulations!! And have fun :)

      • EN

        I’m wearing flats (only because my husband to be is my height and I’m fairly tall already) in black with some pretty jewels on the toe because I also have a black sash on my dress. But if I had my choice I would go for leopard loubs or a high aubergine colored heel of some sort…sigh. So basically I second that your shoes do not have to go with your dress…

        • Legally Blonde

          I also had an ivory dress. I wore pretty gold heels for the ceremony and then changed into white isotoners for the reception/dancing. I think it is cool (and on trend, actually) to wear something other than the cliched white satin pump or sandal. Inject your personality into the day!

  14. R

    Hey ladies, I have a quick question. Does anybody know whether there are certain rules for mixing suit separates? Do you have to mix suits of the same brand and fabric, or can you feel free to mix synthetic fabric with natural fabric as long as it “looks right”? Thanks!

    • R

      I just wanted to add that my question assumes that the colors look good together- like a charcoal blazer with a black pencil skirt or a cream or white blazer with a dark trouser.

    • 3L Sarah

      What do you mean by “looks right?” To me, if you wear black pants with a black blazer and they are not from the same suit, it just looks bad – the fabrics and the blacks don’t match. However, if you’re matching a gray plaid skirt/pants with a black jacket, that’s something else…

      • Anonymous

        I managed to pull off a black suit and a brown suit from completely different brands, but that was a true feat. I rather just stick to buying whole suits, or intentionally wear separate colors, for the same reason 3L Sarah wrote.

    • Shayna

      I hate the look of two different shades of black (regardless of fabric) put together… putting a tweed jacket with black pants is fine, a solid gray jacket with black pants is probably acceptable but I always think it looks severely mismatched.

    • Eponine

      I personally think wearing a suit bottom and a jacket of different solid colors is a very dated look, with the possible exception of a dress or skirt and top in the same color with a different colored blazer. A patterned jacket (e.g., herringbone) with a solid bottom is a more modern look.

      As for fabrics, I think that it’s usually fairly obvious whether a piece is made from a natural or synthetic fabric, and I can’t imagine it looking right to mix the two. But I don’t think that’s a hard and fast rule.

  15. R

    Well this reply will probably sit in moderation forever but my question is about mixing different types and weights of fabrics. I already know how to put colors together- no black with black, etc.

    • Another MJ

      You’re over-thinking the issue. If the fabrics look good together, go for it. Obviously you don’t put a seersucker jacket with heavy wool pants, but other than something like that I don’t know of any “rules” about what goes with what.

  16. mille

    I am sure this has been discussed before, but I am in need of advice. I am 14 weeks pregnant and am going to talk to the two partners in my firm on monday. What is the best way to approach the situation? When do you schedule maternity leave? When do you start it– close to the due date? This is my first baby, and I don’t know exactly how this works.

    I do a mix of criminal and family law. The criminal law will be easy to work around, as I just need to not schedule trials near the due date, and I have another associate that can pick up any slack. (We do public defense on a state contract.

    Family law, not so easy. I had to have sinus surgery and was taken off all family law for months while all my treatment was finished, because my partners think family law is too demanding and I wouldn’t be able to work it while sick. So how will they deal with a pregnancy? I make almost no money with the criminal law, so can’t afford to lose the family law.

    • K

      I would be very matter-of-fact about it – I am pregnant, I am due X date, and I plan to work up until the end. I would assure them that (assuming you don’t have any complications) pregnancy is not a disability for the purposes of practicing law.

      I am disturbed by your story re: the sinus surgery though. If the partners thought family law was “too demanding” for someone who was recovering from sinus surgery, they are likely to think the same about pregnancy or late pregnancy. I would push back strongly against them if they react negatively – it sounds at a minimum overly cautious and likely discriminatory. Get a note from your dr that says you are fine to work at usual capacity, etc.

      • K

        PS (sorry, forgot) – I worked up through Friday and my kids were born on Sunday, both times. I didn’t have to worry about scheduling trials though (I do estate planning).

    • divaliscious11

      Well, what’s your plan? I think you have to be matter of fact about the disclosure, but I think you need to have a clear plan on how long your working, what will your 3rd trimester plan be in terms of maintaining the transferability of your workload, what is your ramp back in plan, etc…?

      I’d be worried about them taking your family law work as well. I think you need to be clear that you disagree with their assessment and have a clear strategy to prevent them from moving you off your money earning projects.

      • mille

        The partners in my office feel that family law is more demanding because the clients will be mad if you are out sick. I’ll think about specific plans before I go in. My firm claims to be a family friendly firm, so I hope they really are.

        • anon

          If they try to tell you that you can’t do demanding work because you are pregnant, they are discriminating against you. They have no idea whether being pregnant for you will be being “out sick.” I worked just as hard through both of my pregnancies as when I was not pregnant. Don’t let them get away with it.

          As for maternity leave, everyone is different, but I saw no advantage to taking any days before the baby was born. Near the end, you are so anxious anyway, it’s good to have something to distract you. Good luck! It’s not always easy to figure this stuff out in a law firm environment, but almost everyone, men and women, has kids, and it’s not something you should apologize for.

  17. ST

    I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering. Have you tried one of those light boxes for depression? I have heard that they work wonders for certain people. I have no experience with this myself, but it seems like a safe option to try. Also, my mother swears by the tanning bed during the dead of winter. She goesabout once a week for a few months. This may not be for everyone and there is no history of skin cancer in my family. She always covers her face and sometimes only puts her legs in the bed. This may be a placebo effect, but she is happy and encourages everyone around her to try it.

    • Lola

      I second the suggestion for therapeutic lights.

      Even in regions where the sun shines regularly, busy women hardly get enough time outside to make a difference. (I live in the cold, but even if you live in a hot area, do you spend most of your time inside with the A/C?)

      A company called Verilux has been making therapeutic full-spectrum lights for years. http://www.verilux.com. I usually turn the light on nearby when I read the paper and drink coffee in the morning, and it really makes me feel better. (A friend of mine reads by hers at night, so it can work differently for different people.) Artificial light doesn’t give you Vitamin D, but light can definitely help elevate your mood, and there’s no danger of skin cancer, like there is with a tanning bed.

  18. ST

    I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave advice concerning Lands End swimsuits a few weeks ago. I ordered a one piece suit, a top, and 2 bottoms from the overstocked section. I received them this week. They look fabulous on me. These are the best swimsuits I have had in a long time, which even includes periods of time when I weighed much less. They would be with every penny if I had paid full price for them, but I paid less than $100 for all four pieces.

  19. ST

    @ cat – I work for a government organization that has a few thousand employees. A couple of years ago, upper management implemented a zero tolerance policy for Internet usage. They tracked everything. They could even tell what advertisements were being shown on the website each employee visited. They could even track purchases and banking transactions that employees made. Everyone had to complete forms showing their work schedules (including 15 minute breaks) spthat it could be compared to Internet usage and entering/leaving the building. This tracking was used to punish a group of people that had angered upper management. It was all over the news and in the newspaper. After a few people filed suits, everything was overturned and those who were punished were reimbursed for their forced days off. My husband now works in IT with the same organization. They still have the capability to track everything, but there are only a few things they look for now. Apparently, each manager gets a secret report of their each subordinates usages times, any streaming videos, excessive amounts of financial transactions, repeated attempts to visit restricted sites, etc. I am sure that my organization is much more diligent about tracking these thing than most due to theamount of scrutiny we have received from the media in the past.

  20. Anonymous

    I’m looking for something to wear under lower-cut dresses/tops without the bunching up around the stomach that camisoles seem to do. Does anyone know of anything like this that come up a little higher and would look like a camisole when worn under something else?

    http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=35469&vid=1&pid=111440&scid=111440002

    I have one of these from Gap and though it is sturdy enough to look like a cami, it just doesn’t come up quite high enough.

    • Anon

      Based on a recommendation on this site, I bought a “bralette” from JC Penney — it’s basically like a short cami and it it high enough, you can’t see cleavage. I hate the bunching up in the stomach area when I wear a long cami. I don’t have a link, but go to the Lingerie section at JC Penney and look around. Mine was $9, I think. Comes in colors black, white and beige.

    • KLo

      Have you gone with a tighter cami? Like maybe some of those brands (Yummy Tummy or something) that are designed to suck in at the waist some? I’m guessing you’re built differently than me and have a tiny waist and there’s just extra fabric… I worry that a bra like the link that you attached will show cleavage. Or uniboob. Hopefully some of the other ladies will have more options!

    • A.

      I got a “cami-top” bra from Bloomingdale’s on sale last year and it is really great – it gives just the right little bit of coverage without having to wear a cami. It’s basically a bra that has a band of material that goes across the top, ending at about an inch above my cleavage. I live in the Southwest and wearing two layers when the mercury hits 105 and above is not an option. I am not sure if Bloomie’s still has them, but I am sure someone probably does.

    • Anonymous

      Original poster here. Thanks for all the suggestions!

      KLo – I wouldn’t call my waist tiny, but I have proportionally wider hips, so you’re probably right about why I would have that problem in the first place.

      The JC Penney and Bloomies options sound great. I’ll definitely give them a try.

  21. KP

    Did anyone else hear that Ann Taylor is going out of business? The store by me has closed and I’ve heard they are going exclusively to the LOFT brand. Anyone know details on this? I get so many great suits there for great prices, it would be a shame…

    • Nita

      WSJ recently reported
      http://snipr.com/vewlv [online_wsj_com]

      Ann Taylor Stores Corp. swung to a profit in its fiscal fourth quarter as the women’s clothing retailer cut back on discounting, and a sales decline stabilized.

      The operator of Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft stores was hard hit by the recession as demand for its professional women’s apparel plummeted as unemployment rose and its merchandise was criticized as a bit stale. The retailer cut costs by closing stores—a move it will continue this year by shuttering 72 stores—and reducing inventory to avoid the drastic discounting that crimped profits last year.

      As a result of reducing merchandise and markdowns, as well as adding fresher products, gross margin, or the profit after deducting the cost of its goods, soared to 52.5% from 35.7% in the same quarter a year ago.

      AnnTaylor pointed to a sales rebound so far in its current quarter, with both its store brands achieving 10% increases in sales at stores open at least a year in February. The retailer expects a return to sales growth in 2010 based on growth in same-store sales in every quarter of the year.

  22. KM

    This is a random question but I was wondering at what age it becomes inappropriate to continue to wear my sorority tshirts to the gym. I’m 25 and still wear them to work out but am starting to wonder if perhaps I’m too old to still be working out in them.

    • SSC

      I’m 26 and I still wear mine. But for me, just getting to the gym is a victory in itself, so I probably care a little less about what I’m wearing than most. :-)

    • divaliscious11

      My aunt has been a member of my Sorority since 1952 and she still wears paraphenalia! I love seeing our Dears (members for 50 years+) all decked out! We have very active graduate chapters etc… and no one would think anyone was too old to wear para.

      • Anon

        I think that if someone is going to judge you for wearing a sorority t-shirt, they’re going to judge you regardless of whether or not you are 18 or 30 or 75. So go ahead and wear what you want because you’ll never make everyone happy anyway :)

  23. Sara

    http://www.target.com/Merona-Double-Layer-Shirred-V-Neck/dp/B002Z7PPQA/ref=sc_qi_detailbutton

    Find alert, Kat and ladies. I was in Target today for household stuff and went to pick up a basic white tee on your recommendations. Right next two those on a display shelf were the linked tops: double-layer shirred t-shirts. I got this grey/black pattern. It is soft and well-fitted. It strikes me as PERFECT for business travel, under a casual blazer or structured sweater. I will soon be traveling with older male bosses and have been puzzling over what to wear- this seems to have the right balance of comfort, layering capability, but not see-through, dumpy looking, or just too casual. Haven’t worn it yet so can’t speak to its washing life, but I am excited and may get several more if it works out. $8, why not?

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I have this in solid green and it is perfect to wear under a black suit. It is a little casual for court but perfect for client meetings.

    • MelD

      I think I got this one last year in pink and it’s still going strong after many wearings. My only complaint is that it is too long/thick to really work tucked in. It just ends up bunching and creating a lump. If you don’t plan/need to tuck in, then it should work well for you.

  24. stella

    i recently got 3 pairs of skinny jeans. i’m 5’2″. i’m going to get them hemmed. but are skinny jeans supposed to hit at the ankle or be a little bunched? not sure how long they are supposed to be.

    • 3L Sarah

      I think they can be both, depending on how you want to wear them. If you got 3 pairs, you could probably hem one higher than the other, in case you want to change up your look. I’ve seen both ankle-length and bunched at the bottom with all kinds of shoes…

    • MelD

      I don’t think they’re supposed to be any length. If you’re planning on wearing them under boots, you may want to have them a little shorter. I find that the bunching gets really uncomfortable around the ankle where all the little folds are digging into the skin.

    • Shayna

      Don’t go too overboard on the hemming though – I’m 5’2″ as well, and I’ve had pants hemmed, and then after the first wash found they shrunk ever so slightly, which rendered them un-wearable — Never had jeans hemmed though

      • lulu

        The solution to this problem is easy–take them home and wash them first. I’m actually surprised that someone hemmed them for you without telling you to do that first. At least for in-store alterations, it has always been my experience 9mostly at Nordstrom) that anything that might shrink (such as jeans) the salespeople tell you to take them home, wash them, and bring them back. Convincing someone to call up alterations for something that is being purchased that day can be a challenge.

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