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Updated: Nov 15, 2019 107 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread |

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"try it with a leather jacket," the readers saySomething on your mind? Chat about it here. Readers always joke about leather jackets for “what should I wear to this” kind of questions; in fact, “try it with a leather jacket!” is the common refrain. (Hat tip to commenter Rainbow Hair!) Leather jackets may not be appropriate for your office (but: know your office) but for weekend wear, happy hours, and commuting in mild weather, they can be great. BlankNYC has a ton of leather jackets that are well reviewed (the pictured one has 228 positive reviews; this one has 492 positive reviews) and — dunh dunh dunh — there are some great sales happening. Pro tip: sort by your size first, because there are a ton of lucky sizes out there. The pictured one is 40% off — it was $188, but is now marked to $112; it is described as “incredibly soft” and “luscious suede,” and comes in sizes XS-XXL (16). Happy weekend, all! Pictured: No Limit Suede Moto Jacket Looking for a plus-size option? This red moto jacket is gorgeous but a splurge; this faux suede one has a ton of great ratings and is available in sizes XS-3x. Want another non-leather option? This faux leather one has 97 mostly positive reviews and is $58 in some colors. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. war on plastic

    I wanted to make a recommendation for those of you battling plastic.

    Drunk Elephant’s face wash bar is the best thing evah. I love it. It gets you a good lather, which is what I didn’t like about Lush’s, and it’s going to last a really long time.

    Anybody have any other tips? I tried Lush’s shampoo and conditioner bars and didn’t like them. Any you recommend? Or any other anti-plastic tips?

    • Anon

      Litterless . com has a listing by state of where you can shop for waste-free products. Some places, especially small co-ops or independent organic markets, sell soap/bath products in bulk and let you bring your own container.

    • Puddlejumper

      I was just thinking about how my shower area is my biggest culprit with plastics – face wash, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream …. need to cut all this down to not using plastic containers.

      Currently I use:
      Aveda Shampoo and Conditioner
      Cetaphil Face Cleanser
      Trader Joes Grapefruit body wash
      Cremo shaving cream

      I just get so nervous switching products because who knows if what you will buy will work and its expensive if it doesn’t/could mess up your skin/hair. I need to take the plunge though. Anyone have suggestions on how to switch any of the above products over to no plastic?

      • Is it Friday yet?

        I’ve started using Billie razors, and they’ve totally eliminated the need for shaving cream. You’re still throwing out the razor heads, but you’d be doing that anyway. For everything else, try Lush (I love their soaps and don’t find them drying, and there are lots of different shampoo bar options, so it’s trial and error but probably something will work for you) or local stuff as suggested above.

        • war on plastic

          +1

          I am also getting laser hair removal, which I am loving, and will also reduce my plastic use.

        • Anon

          +2 I always use bar soap for this reason. I like glycerin soaps. They are usually very minimally packaged.

          • Anonymous

            I’m going to have to start doing this! But doesn’t the soap get gunky in the shower?

    • Equestrian Attorney

      I use Davines shampoo (purchased through my salon). It’s definitely expensive but they recycle the containers and you get 20% off when you return the containers. The quality is great and my hair has improved so I can space out washes.
      I just use bar soap for both washing and saving, with no issues to report. Face wash is definitely a culprit in my bathroom so I will try that face bar!

    • Unicorn

      I second the Drunk Elephant recommendation. It’s the only bar soap I’ve ever found that doesn’t horribly dry my skin.

    • Anonymous

      If you are using salon hair products, a beauty supply store will have the big bottles the salon uses.

    • CL

      For all purpose cleaning I use a refillable spraybottle with vinegar, dawn and water. I then use this for pretty much all cleaning (kitchen, bathrooms etc.) and just add more as needed. Saves plastic and less chemicals.

  2. SFchic

    Is anyone still having trouble posting? I have been blocked at my preferred IP address for several months, and didn’t get a reprieve with the website remodel. Am I the only one?

    I have this exact suede moto jacket in grey and the quality is quite good. But honestly I haven’t worn it as much as I thought because I worry about ruining it in weather…. I need to at a minimum spray it with suede protectant.

    • Anon

      Still happening for me too. There hasn’t been any communication about it since the remodel.

  3. Anon

    For all the feds out there, just saw Sweetgreen is offering free dinner to feds this weekend.

      • Anonymous

        I’m not holding my breath until everything is signed. And, even if it reopens Monday, it’s going to be awhile before anyone gets backpay.

        • Anonymous

          Yeah and Stone being indicted so Drumpf wanted to change news cycle. Sarah Kendzior thinks the shutdown will be on again in 3 weeks, likening it to how torturers stop for a while just to make you feel the pain anew. I pray she’s wrong.

  4. Anon

    I am part of a very large public employee retirement system, but I am not yet vested – I have about a 1.3 years to go. The problem is that I hate my job. I can switch to another public job and stay on track to get vested, but that obviously limits my job search options. I’m trying to weigh the options of (1) looking for another public job and keeping my retirement going, which will mean staying in my current job longer because the search is harder, or (2) searching for all kinds of jobs, which will mean I might never end up getting vested if I take a job at a nonprofit or private company. I have been contributing, so I would roll over the money in there now into an IRA, but I wouldn’t get any retirement from them later on. Does anyone have any input?

    • Anon

      Can you just stay at your current job for a year? 1.3 years isn’t that long to stay unless your boss is abusive or you’re working 80 hours a week at the expense of your health or something like that. If it’s just “blah I don’t like this job” then I would stay. If you feel like you need to get out for your health then that’s a different story of course.

      • Anon

        I agree. I would look for something else in the system, and stay if that didn’t work out

      • Kh

        Will you vest in a pension only or in insurance as well? That might tip your consideration.

    • Anonymous

      How much money are you walking away from? How much would your salary go up in the private sector?

      • OP

        I make $60k right now in a VHCOL area, so I am not doing particularly well (I’m surviving fine, but more money would really help). I don’t know how much I would make in the private sector because my job doesn’t really have an equivalent there, but I think I could make more.

        • Anon

          But it’s not just the salary, you’d be walking away from retirement savings.

      • StateGovt

        I just made this switch, with just about a year to go to be vested in a public retirement system. However, my state made the switch to a reformed pension system a few years ago, so what I’m walking away from is a guaranteed ~$1,000/month pension after the age of 60 something. However, my new private sector job is a $100,000/yr raise over what I’m making in the public sector. To me, the switch was worthwhile, but I did go back and forth. The private sector job I was recruited for was a “unicorn” type of job, and not the type of thing that is normally recruited for, so that was a deciding factor for me. There was no guarantee that this type of opportunity would be there once I was vested,

    • anon a mouse

      Hard to say without knowing exactly what you are walking away from, so you need to do some math to understand. Figure out what your minimum benefit is once you are vested, and do a net present value calculation to figure out what that’s worth. For me, walking away a year before I was vested was like walking away from $200K in my retirement account (based on the defined pension payment). That was enough to keep me in the job.

      Second the suggestion to find another job in the same system, too.

    • Anonymous

      I am not in love with my current job/situation but I have 2 years left until I’m vested, and if I walk away before that I’ll be leaving a lot of match money on the table because my company offers a well-over-the-typical match amount. It’s not worth it to compromise my financial future that way (but I am older – 42 – than you may be). I’ve basically decided that come what may, I’m staying until I’m vested and that’s it. 1.3 years will go by fast if you can either A. find something at work that gets you jazzed, and focus on that or alternatively, B. get involved in something absorbing outside of work that serves as a distraction.

  5. Anon

    My husband and I are planning to relocate from our very high-cost-of-living area to an area that has a LCOL that is also on the rise (due to transplants like us…). Are there any tips for how to job search or negotiate salary when you know the salaries are going to be lower across the board? I’m not sure what I should be looking for or asking for when I know the salaries are lower, but not by how much. I’m also not really sure of the best way to make a budgeting plan in terms of rent and other essentials. Are those cost of living calculators you can find online any good?

    • Anonymous

      I live in an allegedly low cost of living area, and I have also lived in HCOL areas for most of my life. For my $.02I think that the distinction is more like what you get for what you pay for. There is nowhere where you would live probably where rent is $300/month. It’s more like for a $3000/mo mortgage you get a nice house in a good neighborhood versus a small apartment with annoying neighbors. There are also lifestyle and phase of life considerations. My social life was a lot cheaper in HCOL area when I just met up with friends at bars for drinks vs hosting people for a dinner party.

      A calculator doesn’t know you very well. You’ve really got to take a hard look at your lifestyle and what you spend money on and what quality of life you want.

      • Anon

        I agree with the above poster. My mortgage in hip MCOL city is the same as my friend’s rent in D.C. I have a three-bedroom house. She has a studio apartment. I am more likely to cook at home or go to a friend’s house to socialize than my friends that live in studio apartments in HCOL cities. Travel is more expensive for us because we have less direct flight options. Workout classes/high end restaurants are cheaper here. People are less likely to buy luxury clothes here than in HCOL cities.

        Also, if you are moving to a rapidly changing city, all of those calculators will be off. You are going to have to do some serious research on salaries in your field, average rent, etc. Glassdoor or a recruiter can probably help with salaries.

      • Anon

        I live in a place where you can get a decemt apartment for ~$500 a month, so they do exist. I moved here from the Bay Area, so even with upgrading from a 1 bed apartment to a really nice single family home, my housing here costs half what it did there.

    • Anon

      My suggestion is to use the cost of living calculators and salary difference calculators, but also price out your life in the new city. Figure out how much a comparable home costs. Look at the cost of food in a restaurant. Remember that real estate is cheaper, but your car payments, clothes, etc. tend to be priced nationally.

      I recently moved from a hcol city to a lcol city. The five thousand dollar pay cut was a blow to my ego, but was more than made up for by what I save on housing alone.

    • Anonymous

      Lots of good advice above. Make sure you know what market rates are in the new city, a recruiter or career services department might help.

    • CR

      Be sure to educate yourself about culture. I moved from NYC to a LCOL location and a lot less money is needed, because no one sends their kids to private school, no one drives a luxury vehicle, and it’s a super liberal city so health care coverage is robust, preschool is free, etc.

  6. Jules

    Kat, the link to the faux suede jacket actually goes to the pricey red leather one.

  7. Anon for this

    Has anyone taken money out of a retirement account or taken a retirement account loan for part of a down payment on a home? Can you please tell me about your experience, pros and cons? I’m $15-20k short, it’s currently a buyer’s market in my area and I’m psychologically ready to buy and getting antsy. It would take me about a year to save up the rest.

    • Anon

      No, don’t do this. The only good reason to take money out of a retirement account is if you can’t pay your bills due to some short-term crisis and are on the verge of homelessness or bankruptcy. Getting “antsy” about buying a house is a terrible reason. Wait a year and save the rest of your down payment and buy when you’re ready. The market is cooling down in most places to there’s no reason to expect it would be less of a buyer’s market in a year.

    • Anon

      I haven’t, but I do believe most 401k plans require an immediate repayment of the loan if you leave your job.

      • Anonymous

        THIS. I had a coworker who found her dream job and when she realized that her 401K loan repayment obligation wasn’t something she could get deferred, it nixed that. Nasty surprise — many things in life are flexible even if not written that way. This isn’t one of them.

      • RR

        Regarding immediate repayment if you leave your job, because I just looked at this, it’s not immediate, but it is quick enough that it could be stressful. It used to be 60 days, I think, but the rule now is that it has to be paid off by the time your federal income tax return is due, including extensions. So, effectively, by October. If you think there’s a chance you won’t be at your job for the duration of the loan (or don’t have a mechanism to pay it back quickly if you leave), don’t do it.

        Caveat: I am not a tax professional. Consult your own professionals. I’m just a person who looked this up on the internet recently for personal reasons.

    • BB

      We did this for our home, and I think it was worth it. Our house easily went up 15-20% in value in the past 2 years because of our crazy market. We were also spending $3000+ a month on rent. I guess we could have just bought a cheaper place, but our quality of life went up so massively after we bought. It’s a bit of a gamble for sure, but it also depends on your income and how long you think it will take you to “make up” that 15-20K.

    • RR

      Yes, I took a 401(k) loan, but I had a specific situation where I thought it was warranted. We were moving to a new city and due to logistics of my husband already commuting, me having a full time regional BigLaw job, and three kids in school, we bought our home in the new city before selling our old home. In order to leverage the equity in our old home for 20% down on the new home, we took both a bridge loan and a 401(k) loan, each for half the amounts. We knew that, even if we sold our house for exactly what we had bought it for 15 years prior, we would net enough equity to pay off both loans.

      It pretty much ended up working out. It took longer to get our old home on the market than anticipated, and I ended up changing jobs, which added a fun dimension of concern, but we sold our old house and paid off both loans. I’m glad we did it because we didn’t have to deal with a loan on the new house that would require PMI and go through the process of getting PMI removed. Because we were taking the money out and putting it back in within months, we weren’t too worried about the lost interest for a few months.

      I wouldn’t have done it without the knowledge that we’d be able to repay it within months even by a conservative estimate. I would have dealt with selling my house first even though I had nightmares about trying to manage it, or rented short term in the new city, or not put 20% down and dealt with PMI (I’m not sure I would have done the last–I would have had to run the numbers).

    • Anonymous

      Before I did this, I would strongly consider other types of loans (80/20s or 80/some number less than 20 with a HELOC). If your market is truly that strong and you’ve got other things in your favor – which you likely do if you have that much in retirement – those are beginning to be available again. It would take a lot for me to raid my retirement. I’d look around if I were you.

    • mascot

      Have you talked to a lender yet? We stacked a conventional loan with a HELOC to avoid PMI and having to get a jumbo loan. With the right financial situation (excellent credit, other assets, low debt) this might be an option.

    • simiyalalalala

      If you are a first time home buyer, you can take up to $10K without penalty from your 401k. You have to pay taxes on it but no penalty. I did this to purchase my first apartment.

      • Anonymous

        And you can take up to $10k without penalty from any Roth account you have – and then you don’t have to pay any taxes.

    • Anonymous

      I’m pretty conservative about saving for retirement. I wouldn’t touch my 401(k) for anything. If I couldn’t afford something without dipping into it, then I wouldn’t be able to afford it – period.

    • Idea

      I took $6k out of my IRA to stay in our house during the recession.
      I would not do this if I were you.
      Stock market is doing better than housing prices in my city. Wait 3 months at least

  8. Budget Apps?

    Do you use budgeting apps to track your finances? If so, which one? One of my New Year’s resolutions is to try to get my finances in order. I have been using Mint, but it does not seem to provide an accurate picture of my income and expenses.

    • mascot

      I use You Need A Budget, mostly through the website (install the Toolkit extension if you use Chrome- super helpful). It’s a envelope system of budgeting which takes some getting used to. I track our spending daily and have a good idea of what we spend our money on.
      They have an app which works when you are out and about, but I find the web interface to be cleaner and less buggy.

      • Anon

        +1000 for YNAB. I heard about it from others here and tried it out for myself. Had used Mint and other tools before that and YNAB is much much better. I do recommend watching some of their webinars and reading tips for using it though because their approach to budgeting is a bit different (or at least it was for me).

        • Carrots

          Another for YNAB. Definitely watch the webinars as well! There’s also a really robust Reddit board that’s helpful when you’re getting started.

    • Anon

      I use mint and personal capital. I think personal capital does a better job of the “big picture” stuff. Ask friends for a referral link they usually have some promotion that will give you both like $20 in amazon gift card

      • Anonymous

        I thought personal capital was suuuuper creepy. I forget why but I have screenshots of my confirming they were deleting all my information.

    • Anonymous

      I use YNAB to budget, but I use Quicken to track my finances.

      So, YNAB has all my credit card charges and the inflow and outflow of checking and savings. the Checking/Savings registers are duplicated in Quicken (but not the credit cards), but Quicken also has my retirement fund amounts and value of property/loans.

    • Anonymous

      I use Mint and I am unclear why it would be inaccurate. Are you doing any maintenance? You do sometimes need to recategorize expenditures and set budget categories that capture all of the ways you spend $.

  9. Vicky Austin

    We had a discussion here a few weeks ago about the iPhone feature that tracks your usage; I recently downloaded Moment for Android and am getting reports of my usage too. Curious to know what others usually clock in at in a normal day/week? (No judgment, just looking for anecdata.)

    • anon

      3.5 hours a day. I don’t have any idea how — some use of maps, some checking the weather, some fiddling with podcasts, and I guess a ridiculous amount of twitter scrolling?

    • anon

      I just got this for the first time with my new iphone and was APPALLED to see 4.5 hours/day. I barely even have that many free hours in the day? Then I remembered how much youtube I listen to– lots of white noise/meditative things. But it’s still a little alarming to see about an hour or so of random internet scrolling. I try to limit it to when I’m eating lunch/dinner by myself on the couch at the desk/waiting in lines.. but still.

    • Anon

      Between 3-5 hours a day, but I read using the Kindle app on my commute (60-90 minutes each way depending on traffic) and I make work calls from my cell. I also text a lot. Trying to reduce everything except the reading.

    • Anonymous

      Yikes: 5.37 hours a day but 42 min a day for messages which doesn’t count b/c it’s household/kid management.

    • CR

      I’m over 2 hours, and was appalled. I felt slightly better when I realized that a significant percentage was from viewing recipes on Pinterest while cooking/baking. But still.

    • anon

      I seem to be averaging around 1.2 hours per day for my personal device alone; my work device is much lower at around 30 minutes per day, so I’m fairly pleased here. Typically I’m at the computer so reading emails and documents and responding to things can be done more easily there.

      Where I was surprised was at the 29 pickups per day! It looks as though I quickly see which notification has arrived, judge the urgency, then either respond or parking lot for later.

  10. Anon 2.0

    Does anyone have a recommendation for Room and Board style furniture at a slightly lower price point? I love that style of furniture but I don’t have big law income. I am thinking in the $2500-$3000 price range for a sectional. That is already the top of my budget so Room and Board is a bit out of reach. I think I will start saving for a Room and Board kitchen table but I need a new couch yesterday.

    • anon

      Maybe Scandinavian Designs? I’m not sure it’s the same style, exactly, but I was looking at Room and Board and ended up getting one at Scandinavian Designs that I like a lot.

    • BB

      West Elm? I will say I don’t find their quality as good as R&B though, but I guess that’s why R&B is more expensive.

      • anon

        +1
        I have an IKEA kitchen table and a Room and Board couch–I think couch quality is worth the extra $$ more than a kitchen table is.

      • Anonymous

        +1 or joybird. I really like my sectional from Ashley though … Aleya I think.

  11. Anon for this

    Does anyone have a great eyecream recommendation? (What’s #theeyecream?) TIA!

    • BabyAssociate

      I’m on a K-beauty kick and really like Etude House Moistfull Collagen Eye Cream.

    • Duckles

      For making my eyes look awake, Balance Me Wonder Eye Cream. For how it feels to put on, Belif Eye Bomb.

  12. Ariadne

    Does anyone have any suggestions for good eye crayons? I’ve been using a Marcelle eye crayon in a golden cream shade ( can read bright, but I tone it down with a coppery shadow, and they play well together). They have very few shades available right now ( I think mine is discontinued) and I’m wondering about some other brands — I’m open to both drugstore and expensive brands. If anyone also has suggestions on what colours may also go with light blue grey eyes, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thank you!

  13. AnotherAnon

    Need some advice. I’m a contractor and don’t have any PTO currently. I’m also a foster parent. If we get a placement I am considering taking some time off, unpaid, to be with my foster placement. But I have no idea when a placement might occur (we take emergency placements). Would you say something to your supervisor? I haven’t so far because it seems like the probability of getting a placement is low, and I thought I would just keep working and send the baby to day care (this is what I did with our first placement, whom we adopted and is now almost two). Right now it seems like saying something would be all downside. What are your thoughts?

    • Anon

      I frequently find out one of our male employees is planning to take paternity leave a few days, maybe a couple of weeks, before the baby’s due date. I don’t see why you should act differently. For reference, “primary caregivers” are given 6 weeks, “secondary caregivers” are given 2 weeks paid time off at my company. The reasons are: birth of a child, adoption of a child, foster care of a child. There is no definition stated as to what constitutes primary or secondary caregivers.

  14. Job Application

    How long should I wait before contacting an HR department after submitting a job application? It’s a state-funded position, I found the listing on the website. My application went to a specific person in the HR department. If I don’t hear back, when should I follow up to make sure the application was received? Thanks.

  15. Grueling Pace

    Question for ladies in demanding jobs (60-80 hour work weeks, etc.), how did you adjust to the pace? My job regularly requires 10-12 hour days and eventually my brain stops working. Any tips for building more resilience or thriving in jobs with long hours?

    • DLC

      My job has 10-12 hour days for two or three weeks at a time, so I’m not sure if my experience will be helpful.. But what gets me through:
      1) take my meal breaks. Even better, take time for a walk outside on the meal break, even if it is only 10 minutes. Also- call my husband and kids on one of the meal breaks to remind me that there is a world going on outside of work.
      2) focus on the current tasks, not the tasks you need to do in nine hours. So at the beginning of the day, I look at what the entire day looks like so I know where it’s going and where I fit in the different tasks, but then I focus on getting the things done in the moment and don’t think about what 10pm will be like.
      3) really great colleagues
      4) a sense of humor
      5) a sense of zen.
      6) drink lots of water and have lots of snacks (chocolate helps)
      7) comfy shoes

    • Anonymous

      Take short brakes.
      Make everything else in you life as efficient as possible
      Come to terms with the sooner you get it done, the sooner you are done
      Caffeine

    • Dahlia

      Well hello. I’m a surgeon and I’ve worked 12 hour+ days for many years. First, you get used to it. It was hard when I first started and now it really doesn’t bother me at all. However, things that helped me at the beginning
      1) When you get a break, take a real true mental break, even if its just for 5 minutes. My job requires a lot of concentration, so when I can take a break, I don’t talk to anyone, I drink a big glass of water, look out a window (even better if I can step outside for a minute) and take a few deep breaths. Maybe do a few stretches. I discourage people from talking to me until my mini-break is over. Even 3 minutes of this refreshes me and allows me to refocus my brain. If I’m really mentally tired, I take a short brisk walk.
      2) I agree with DLC above to take things one at a time. I don’t start my day at 6 am thinking about what I’m doing at 8 pm. I pretty much live in the moment at work and focus on one task at a time.
      3) drink lots of water.
      4) Try to maintain physical activity- take the stairs, brisk walks (can you do walking meetings?) move around as much as you can- long sedentary days are both harder, and harder on your body and health!
      Mostly, it just gets easier over time as your body and mind get used to it.

    • Meredith

      Second making everything outside of work really efficient:
      -outsource everything you can
      -meal prep (I’m a massive fan of mini frittatas because they work for several meals)
      -put your clothes for the week out ahead of time (jewellery, underwear, everything). I have kids so I get them to (in an age-appropriate way do the same)
      – aside from court appearances in a niche area, my work is smart casual. Most of my wardrobe is mix and match and I can stretch in it. This allows me to change positions during the day and do a bit of gentle stretching on calls to feel like I’ve moved.
      -prioritise sleep
      -I heard this on here but now it’s my life, book Dr’s, haircuts etc as you leave your last appointment to make sure you get the time that suits
      At work:
      -divide your to do list into things that have to happen that day and things you have a couple of days to do so you know there is a little flexibility if you need it
      – take the time to build comraderie with colleagues, it makes all the difference.
      -take a moment or two to yourself during the day, whatever will make you happy
      -water is your friend
      -remember it does get easier.

    • Anonymous

      Build in a few steps: park at the far end of the parking lot, get coffee at a remote pot, pick a restaurant a few blocks away, take a lap around the square in the late afternoon or go a few blocks to get tea. It doesn’t take much time away from your desk but will perk you up a bit.

  16. at-home microneedling?

    I think we’ve had some discussions about microneedling, but I can’t find them. Has anyone done this with the at-home tools? I’ve read good reviews online, but I’m just a bit skittish about trying it. I use the Klair’s Vitamin C serum and Neutrogena Hydro Boost Hyaluronic Acid moisturizer on a regular basis, which seem like they would work well with a derma roller.

    Which tool do you use? Which serum(s) do you use? How frequently do you treat your face? Any horror stories?

  17. J

    Any recommendations for a chic necklace/pendant (~ $300 budget) please? It will be a 1-year anniversary gift for SO, who wears almost exclusively classic necklaces in terms of jewelery.

    I was thinking Georg Jensen sterling silver necklace (hidden heart / marcia pendant, link to follow), but would appreciate any other suggestions! TIA!

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