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Updated: Dec 3, 2021 155 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Ooh: this BP sweater looks similar to the Halogen one that has been cancelled in TWO of my orders now (boo) — but it looks a bit cuter, has more colors (including a pretty deep green, a red, and a fun stripe), and is on sale for $32 in both regular and plus sizes.

(The Halogen one is $35-$65 but in lucky colors and sizes only, if you care to take your chances…)

{related: the best cardigan sweaters for work and play}

Pssst: the Free People Ottoman tunic is on sale and such a classic at this point it may make a great gift… so is the Free People Brookside sweater, which I have in two colors — it's a huge sweater (both in terms of wearing it and in terms of the space it takes up on your closet shelf) so I'm not sure I'd recommend it as a gift, but I like it myself. (It IS a bit on the itchy side, fwiw, but that obviously didn't stop me from buying a second color…)

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Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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About Kat

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Comments

  1. SF in House

    Our beloved dog passed away earlier this year and I would like to get a drawing/painting made from a photograph as a Christmas present. The options on Etsy are overwhelming. Does anyone have a specific recommendation?

  2. Anonymous

    So…why is Amazon allowed to be so terrible? I’ve seen dozens of articles lately about how Amazon is selling counterfeit N95 masks and has a thriving market for resale of stolen retail goods (this came up in relation to the rash of high-profile theft rings in the Bay Area). I’ve personally received counterfeit items from what looked like legitimate stores and even in the best of circumstances, you have to wade through hundreds of spammy listings to find anything that looks legit. I try to avoid Amazon as much as humanly possible these days, but I’m baffled why lawmakers aren’t cracking down to any degree. It’s not like Amazon is such a great taxpayer…

    • Anon

      I don’t know; I wish consumer protections were greater. They sell counterfeit goods, spoiled goods, contaminated goods, out-of-date, the works. I often check their reviews for items I’m purchasing elsewhere, and the side-by-side photographs are really striking.

    • Anon

      Because money talks. I agree it’s annoying, but how could anybody of adult age be surprised that this is how society operates?

      • Anonymous

        To be honest, I think the “how are you surprised” or “what did you expect” responses that frequently come up when a problem is pointed out are a cop-out. I never said I was “surprised” – that isn’t a relevant emotion. I expect better consumer protections and a functioning economic marketplace that isn’t rotten at the core.

        • anon

          Okay. But why do you expect that when political decisions are dictated by money and Amazon has tons of it?

          Maybe I’m too deep in it bc of working for a public company, but no matter how much we say we care about people and the environment and whatever, the bottom line is that the company is always going to do what costs the least and makes the most and they are always going to throw money at politicians who help make that happen.

      • anon

        +1,000. I’m confused as to how this is an actual question. The Amazon PAC raised $1.8m and spent $2.2m in 2020.

    • Anon

      I doubt lawmakers are going to do anything in a timely manner to regulate Amazon. Your best for change is to take your business elsewhere. If Amazon starts seeing revenue loss they might change.

      • Anon

        Yup. I’ve not shopped on Amazon since 2018 and honestly it isn’t even that hard once you get used to it. Amazon wants you to think you can’t live without them, because that’s their business model, but it’s not actually true.

        • Anon

          +1 I’m always baffled when people say it’s impossible to give up Amazon. I have little kids and don’t feel like I live a super minimalist lifestyle, but Target has free two day shipping and same day curbside pickup, and on the rare occasions I need something Target doesn’t have, I can usually find it at another retailer and either pick it up or wait a few days for it to be shipped to me. I don’t understand the magical allure of Amazon.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, and Thrive and a CSA have pretty much replaced what I bought at Whole Foods, I just pop in to Trader Joe’s for milk, eggs and cheese and call it a day.

    • MechanicalKeyboard

      I don’t shop on Amazon and don’t understand why people act like it’s difficult to avoid. What is drawing folks to Amazon? Is it speed? Plenty of reputable retailers have 2-day shipping and curbside pickup. Is it cost? I’ve NEVER found the best deals on Amazon and it’s a pain to filter through the 100000 options for the true price of your preferred size and color combination. Is it quality? LOL, of course not. Amazon is plagued by fakes, used products, expired products, etc. Is it a generous return policy? No. Is it customer service? LOL. No.

      What is going on with people that makes them feel like they NEED to buy from Amazon? Just plan better or shop elsewhere.

      • Walnut

        I shopped at Amazon this week for obscure light bulbs. I checked in person at my local hardware store and they only had incandescent bulbs. Online checks of two other stores had minimal stock. Target doesn’t stock this bulb at all. Amazon was happy to sell me a 20 bulb pack at the lowest per unit cost for the led bulb.

        So I guess all of this to say I shop at Amazon for the wide selection.

        • Anonymous

          Same. I have to buy specialized medical and personal items for a sick family member and Amazon is the most convenient place to buy them without buying them from all over.

      • Anonymous

        Selection and ease of return. Looking at my latest purchases…. I use a CPAP machine and insurance doesn’t always send me the supplies I need as fast as I need them and online stores often don’t stock the filters I use (and honestly I trust them less than the ones on Amazon with a ton of reviews). Boots that I wasn’t sure would fit so high likelihood of return–my shoe size is 11w–I’m basically limited to Amazon/Zappos or Nordstrom. Pillow I needed following surgery. Bed Bath and Beyond was the only other one to stock and it was out of stock (Amazon also carried several styles). Thermometer delivered overnight–I thought I had an infection following surgery and ours broke. There is a lot I won’t buy on Amazon. But when I do need them, I’m grateful to have them. (Granted, I normally would have gone to Walgreens and gotten the thermometer but I was too ill.) My mom lives in a rural area. Amazon has been a godsend. I know everybody clutches their pearls about them. But the reality is they succeeded because they offer something no one else in the market was able to do (and in some instances, still isn’t able to). I don’t order things like make-up or personal care items. Maybe I’d feel differently if I did since that’s a product area more prone to being fake. But I haven’t encountered anything fake yet as far as I know. I have received broken goods and used/dirty goods from Target though on multiple occasions.

    • Anonymous

      Amazon is not the place to go for safe masks in a pandemic – go to a Korean site like be healthy instead. i also trust Costco.

      If you want to make a difference with Amazon see if your office or local government has a contract with them… that’s where a ton of their predatory pricing really comes into play.

      On an individual level I buy a lot of weird things from Amazon that local stores don’t carry. I could order from Walmart instead maybe but how is that better. Recent orders: white chefs hat, car voltage plug, a ball that counts bounces, boinks & fidgets, a very specific Hue candelabra light, a travel makeup bag. Some of the games and books could have gone thru target/Walmart/B&N instead but why bother.

      • Anon

        I think Walmart and certainly Target are better than Amazon. They’re certainly not charities or mom and pop businesses, but there are degrees of evil even among large, for-profit corporations and it’s hard to get more evil than Amazon in my opinion.

  3. Anon

    Oooh I do like this sweater and I had been eyeing a cropped cardigan, but I’m trying to do a no-buy month, at least for online shopping.

  4. Anonymous

    Do you have to push back your cuticles from time to time, or can they just be left alone? I’ve always had a pattern of letting them grow and then maybe in a couple of months, pushing them back, which involves some pain/bleeding in areas where they are stuck to the nail, but if I leave them to grow out, they’re also stuck to the nail and create hangnails? Let me know if someone here has figured out the solution.

    • anon in brooklyn

      I think it’s just genetic—some people have good cuticles that stay where they’re supposed to and some (me) have cuticles that will get totally overgrown if left alone. I push mine back weekly.

      • anon

        Mine get really thick (and eventually crack) if I don’t push them back regularly. A cuticle remover helps things along, too. I use the Sally Hansen blue gel.

      • Anon

        It must be genetic because everything time I get a manicure the esthetician comments that I barely even have cuticles. I never do anything to them!

    • Anon

      I moisten, push back, and cut mine. I know conventional wisdom says never to cut them, but mine are weird. They grow insanely long and start to turn back on themselves, making a little lip that catches and pulls on stuff, eventually ripping and bleeding. I tried all the usual suggestions (tons of lotions and oils, orange sticks, etc.) but finally just gave in and cut them. It works fine for me.

    • Nora

      I didn’t know cuticles were a problem. They’ve pushed them back during manicures but I don’t really have a preference either way.

    • Anonymous

      My cuticles used to get out of control. Lately, about once/week I’ve been using cuticle oil (CND solar oil) and then pushing back the cuticle and gently using a buffing block (Olive & June) to buff away the cuticle tissue. It’s been working really well.

    • No Face

      My finger cuticles are fine in their own.

      My toe cuticles are monsters that will take over my entire nail. I use Sally Hansen cuticle remover after soaking, and gently push back or cut. If I don’t, my nails get discolored.

  5. Anonymous

    crazy dog people: I need you! What do you want for Christmas? My sister is single, mid 30s, has a dog that functions as her family. Dog is sort of old and out of shape. I got them matching PJs last year.

    • Anon

      Personalized dog food/water bowl, monogrammed dog sweater (check Chewy), or if you like experience gifts, look for a dog friendly activity y’all could do together (like a state park near me has guided dog hiking trips).

      • Sloan Sabbith

        I love the socks I have with my dog’s face on them. Or a pillow with the dog’s face on it. I got one that says “World’s Cutest Dog Naps Here” with him growling/baring his teeth.

        The Ruffwear harness/coat combo is amazing, too!

    • pugsnbourbon

      If it’s an old dog, definitely get the heated bed that was posted here a few days ago.

    • Saguaro

      I just bought a light up dog collar for night walks (especially now that it is dark so early). It is like a glow stick around my dog’s neck. I am loving it on our night walks!

      • Anon

        To go with a lighted beanie for the owner who is walking the dog in the dark. These recharge using a USB port and give off decent light for a few hours.

    • Digby

      – Bark Box subscription
      – sweet potato treats from We Rate Dogs and 15/10 Foundation
      – donation to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary
      – donation to shelter where I got my dog
      – ornament with my dog’s name on it (bonus points if ornament is breed-specific)
      – “Tell your dog I said hi” sweatshirt or baseball cap from We Rate Dogs
      – Kong squeaky rubber balls

    • Suzanne Stanton

      There is a lovely shop called Gorman here in Australia where you can get matching raincoats ( human) and padded dogcoats in modern ( not doggy) prints, and even better the shop donates to Guide Dogs Australia from purchase!

      Otherwise might she like a charitable donation to train a companion/guide/therapy dog or hrlp a retired police/army dog?

  6. Senior Attorney

    Well, no wonder I’ve been so cranky all morning. One of my contact lenses was inside-out.

    I feel better now.

    • Anonymous

      That’s the worst. I spent three days thinking I was developing a brain tumor bc my eyesight was fuzzy and weird, only to finally realize I had my contacts in the wrong eyes.

      • Cat

        I’ve done this, too. My two eyes have the exact same prescription but the axis for one is a bit higher — and whoo boy does that make a difference!!

    • Anon

      Oops. One of my friends went for an emergency optometrist visit when she lost one of her non-disposable contacts. The optometrist discovered she had both contacts in one eye!

    • Senior Attorney

      Haha I’ve had both of those accidents in the past, too! I’m glad it’s not just me!

    • Anon

      I put mine in the wrong eyes today. One is for astigmatism and one is not. I thought I was having some kind of migraine attack.

  7. Torn

    A recruiter I spoke to a couple weeks ago called me about a position that is open in their company. I am hesitant to apply because the job is in area that I have training, I.e. my degree is in that subject but a practice area I am not so keen on, plus the job would require moving to a smaller city than where I am currently. If the job was in my current city I would just apply but in this case I honestly don’t want to move to the other city. Would it be unethical to just apply and go through the interview process just to see how it goes? At this stage I am not even sure if I would be selected. Or would it be better to reiterate to the recruiter that I am still only keen on positions in my current city? Advice? Thanks in advance

    • Anonymous

      What is the point of interviewing for a position you know you do not want? People do not remember “that one woman who wasted our time” favorably.

    • Anon

      No, I don’t think it would be unethical to apply. But, if you’re looking for something new or are open to it, you should tell the recruiter so you have a better chance of finding something you’d actually take.

    • MND

      Is there any suggestion that they’d be open for remote work at this point? I probably wouldn’t bother unless that seemed like a strong possibility. I don’t think of it as unethical so much as a waste of everyone’s time (yours most of all!)

  8. Anonymous

    Fun Q for today along cuticle lines: what are your once-in-a-while beauty treatments?
    Mine:
    – strong face mask
    – Tinkle/nose hair trimmer
    – deep condition with heat

    • pugsnbourbon

      Deluxe pedicure with the massage chair turned up as high as it’ll go.

    • No Face

      Deep condition with heat, after a protein treatment. My hair looks and feels so much better, but the laziness is real over here.

      Pedicures too.

  9. Anonymous

    If you were interested in buying a house would covid generally or this new variant specifically stop you from touring houses this winter? FWIW I’m incredibly covid cautious so I really don’t go anywhere still unless I NEED to. Something about touring others’ houses feels uncomfortable – because you know that if someone in that house came down with covid, most people would be like eh kid is fine, no reason to cancel/tell anyone. I mean the owners aren’t there when you see the house but presumably they were there 5 min before you arrived.

    But I’m also in a market that moves super fast and winter is known to be a slow time so if you see something you like, chances are you could get it without a bidding war, saving you thousands in the long run. I’m 2x vaccinated (#3 next week). I’d wear a KN95. But I’m also not someone who is going to buy a house sight unseen – like just having a broker walk thru on a video call. Part of me wants to do it – because this slow period in the market lasts from Dec-Feb and then it’ll be crazy spring market/bidding wars which I’ll sit out and the next slower period tends to be July/Aug. Part of me is like is it worth it – I’m high risk so I don’t see this as oh vaccinated, NBD. WWYD?

    • Cat

      “because you know that if someone in that house came down with covid, most people would be like eh kid is fine, no reason to cancel/tell anyone”

      Where do you live that this is the assumption you’d jump to?

      I would not hesitate to visit potential homes.

      • Anon

        Can’t speak for OP but I live in a red state and I would not count on homeowners canceling a showing just because they got Covid and certainly not if they’d just had an exposure. Kids here are showing up at school even if someone in their household has Covid, in some cases even if the kid themselves has gotten a positive test.

        That said, if you’re vaccinated and boosted, the risk to you is incredibly low and I would go tour potential homes if I wanted to move. I’d probably wear a mask but that’s mainly because I see essentially no downside to wearing a mask for a brief period of time.

        • Anonymous

          I am in a red area of a purple state. The husband of one of my daughter’s teachers was diagnosed with COVID. The teacher concealed this and waited several days to get tested so she wouldn’t have to take as many sick days if she was positive (tested the first day of Thanksgiving break). She ended up testing positive and probably exposed hundreds of kids in the few days before she tested. So yes, I absolutely believe home sellers wouldn’t cancel a showing if someone in the house were infected. People are selfish.

      • No Face

        I wouldn’t hesitate to visit homes either. I just wear a mask.

        But I know of several people who continued to go places after testing positive, is it’s not wild to imagine.

    • Anonymous

      I toured homes during the height of the surge in my area with little worry about covid. I was more worried about getting it from the realtor than the home itself.

      Have you talked to a doctor about whether the risk of catching covid while masked and triple vaxed from air /surfaces in someone’s home is significant for you? Bc this is not a significant risk, to my understanding, but maybe it’s different for your condition somehow?

      Also have you talked to a therapist about this? I don’t want to say this is pure anxiety, maybe these are the reasonable precautions you need to take, but being this cautious for years on end must be weighing on you greatly. It’s a burden to have to worry about this stuff even if it’s absolutely necessary that you keep worrying about it. Take care of yourself.

    • Anon

      I think it would be absolutely fine to tour houses while vaccinated and masked up, but I’ve been in the office this entire time so while I’m cautious, my calculus is totally different.

    • Anonymous

      Of course not. You’re making up crazy nonsense. If you want to buy a house it’s fine to go see them. Please deal with your anxiety.

          • Anonymous

            It 100% is. It’s never appropriate to call someone full of “crazy nonsense.” It’s needlessly cruel and it’s just like those people who brag “I always it like it is, I don’t sugarcoat things” but don’t realize that people are perceiving them as raging jerks.

    • Anon

      This is complete nonsense and you need to get a grip. You won’t catch COVID from simply being in the same house that someone with COVID may have also been in. That’s not how COVID spreads.

      • Anonymous

        Huh? Yes it is – people exhale and then others inhale and that’s how it spreads? Now granted I agree with others here that this isn’t a huge risk – with 3x vaccination + KN95; I mean doctors and dentists are seeing patients with those precautions and the patient is actually there with the dr and didn’t leave 5 min prior to the doctor’s arrival and they are doing fine. Only thing I’d do is insist on your broker/any sellers broker that’s there also mask up. I mean seeing a house for me takes less time than grocery shopping – even a 2000-3000 sqft house doesn’t take a half hour and other people aren’t brushing past me the whole time; obviously set up appointments and don’t do open houses but I have a feeling OP wouldn’t even consider open houses.

      • Anon

        Covid19 is an airborne respiratory virus and particles can remain suspended in the air long after an infected individual walks away. How do you not know this by now?

      • Anon

        This is actually exactly how Covid spreads. Countries with better contact tracing and genome sequencing (AZ, NZ, Hong Kong, etc.) have documented it spreading in quarantine hotels between two people who never shared a room and only minimally shared air. There has been documented examples of transmission in situations like the following: Infected Person A opens their hotel room door to receive food and briefly breathes into the hallway, 30 minutes later Person B opens their door to the same hallway receive food, a few days later B tests positive and genome sequencing proves A infected B. This is also why outdoor activities are so much safer – wind circulates air around very fast, so one person’s viral particles don’t stay suspended in the air right next to them for very long. On a very windy day the air around a person can be completely displaced in less than a minute.

        • Anonymous

          From my local paper today:

          2021
          Updated: Dec. 3, 2021 1:42 p.m.
          Comments
          Charles Chiu, MD, Ph.D., director of the UCSF-Abbott Viral Diagnostics and Discovery Center, the UCSF lab that found the nation’s first case of the omicron coronavirus variant.

          Charles Chiu, MD, Ph.D., director of the UCSF-Abbott Viral Diagnostics and Discovery Center, the UCSF lab that found the nation’s first case of the omicron coronavirus variant.
          Courtesy Susan Merrell

          After spending the night in the lab, watching the genetic testing results spool out hour by hour, UCSF scientists confirmed the nation’s first omicron variant. The discovery came after a critical assist from Color, a little-known company headquartered 30 minutes south of San Francisco. As the world awaits more information about the new coronavirus variant, the Bay Area was in a relatively better pandemic position compared to much of the rest of the country.

          Latest updates:

          Maryland reports first confirmed omicron cases: Three cases of the variant were detected in Baltimore area residents, Gov. Larry Hogan said on Friday. One of the individuals infected had recently traveled to South Africa and was vaccinated. The second case was in a household contact of that person who was not vaccinated. The third case is unrelated to the other two and that individual had no travel history. None required hospitalization, Hogan said.

          Children under 5 hit hard by the omicron variant in South Africa: The highly transmissible omicron coronavirus variant is disproportionately impacting children under 5, South African health officials said on Friday, with hospitalizations for that age group steadily rising. “We’ve seen quite a sharp increase across all age groups but particularly in the under-fives,” Waasila Jassat, a health department spokesperson, said during a virtual briefing. Those under 5 now represent the second-highest number of cases, behind adults over 60. “The trend that we’re seeing now, that is different to what we’ve seen before, is a particular increase in hospital admissions in children under 5 years,” Jassat said.

          “Omicron is so infectious it spread among vaccinated travelers in different rooms in a quarantine hotel — CDC study: Scientists with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on Friday released a report on the detection of the omicron coronavirus variant in an asymptomatic, fully vaccinated traveler in a quarantine hotel in Hong Kong. The traveler infected a fully vaccinated traveler staying in a room across the corridor, suggesting transmission despite strict quarantine precautions. Neither patient left their rooms during the quarantine period, the study says. “No items were shared between rooms, and other persons did not enter either room. The only time the two quarantined persons opened their respective doors was to collect of food that was placed immediately outside each room door.” The researchers add: “Airborne transmission across the corridor is the most probable mode of transmission.””

          • Anonymous

            Yikes, sorry about the bad copy-paste! I thought I had only selected the final paragraph…

          • Anon

            Yeah but this spreading between hotel rooms in quarantine isn’t unique to Omicron. It’s definitely happened with Delta and I believe to a lesser degree even with earlier variants.

          • Anon

            I wish they’d also provide booster information, at this point I think initial,vaccine efficacy has waned so much that “fully vaccinated” has lost meaning.

          • Anon

            Many health departments are actually releasing that info. Anecdotally, plenty of Omicron cases in boosted people, including boosted to boosted transmission (two Israeli doctors). Seems like cases in the vaccinated are mostly mild but too early to say that conclusively.

    • anon

      Limiting yourself in this way seems very extreme, and I consider myself fairly covid-cautious.

    • MND

      Covid cautious but would absolutely tour empty houses if vaxxed and masked – maybe trying to minimize time in the house if possible. While there is a possibility you could get it from breathing in the homeowners’ air left before you arrived, it’s pretty remote and would be extremely unlikely that you could catch anything from that.
      You could also make sure you’re giving your agent (and if they’re present, sellers’ agent) a lot of space and insisting on masking, limited interactions, etc.

    • covid-cautious new homeowner

      I’m extremely covid cautious, and immunocompromised. I purchased a house in the spring in one of the hottest markets. I avoided open houses, and toured 7 houses with my agent only. Masked the entire time. The home purchasing process felt safe to me. The parts that made me uneasy came after closing – movers, locksmiths and contractors in the new house for longer periods of time.

    • Anonymous

      I am extremely COVID-cautious and would feel pretty safe touring homes vaxxed and with an N-95 quality mask. I would feel much less safe having potential buyers touring my own home and would probably want to move out before listing it, to temporary quarters if necessary.

    • LaurenB

      If you are vaccinated and boosted, and you are wearing a mask, I think the risk is pretty darn low. You can sanitize before and after and not touch anything, and it’s not as though you’ll be kissing the homeowners. Said nicely, how do you think that doctors and other health care professionals treat COVID patients and not get it? And they are a lot closer to proven COVID-positive people than you will be touring a home.

    • Anon

      I’m also incredibly cautious and I’d go. You’ve got your nose and mouth covered with your mask. How about wearing some goggles for your eyes? I think that covers all the bases. (I’m serious.)

    • anon

      Where I live, the owners move out before listing the house, so there’s not the same concern that someone with Covid who is living in the house left the house 5 minutes before you get there.

      I think it’s worth thinking through what precautions would make you feel safer. Upgrading to an N95 and goggles? What about asking your agent to open windows/doors before you arrive?

      Your biggest risk may be meeting with your agent to put in an offer and closing, since those are often in a small conference room with other people. Can your agent arrange for these to be outside/somewhere with an open window?

      • LaurenB

        We closed on a house in March 2020 (we bought it in January and had planned a March close) and all elements of the closing were done remotely. Didn’t have to interact with anyone at all. I see no reason a closing can’t be done remotely, and then a realtor can get the keys and you can get them at your convenience (which can mean an outside hand-off, etc.).

    • Woof

      Ask the realtor to arrive before you and open a window in each room of the house. (Unless it is a mansion this should not be a problem.) and to open the doors, and know you will arrive 15 minutes after she/he. Wear your mask, and go look at the houses. No problem, you will be safe.

  10. Anonymous

    I was really late on the morning thread so I’ll ask again here – has anyone tried to ladder target-date funds? (Huge thanks to whoever recommended treasury I bonds (i) – I’ll check those out.

    • Anonymous

      Laddering bonds is a common strategy. Target date funds shift asset allocation over time to gradually become more conservative, so to me it doesn’t make sense to ladder them—if you have investments in Target Retirement 2030, 2035, and 2040 funds, your overall asset allocation will be approximately the same as if you held all those funds in the 2035 fund.

      • Anonymous

        That makes sense. I’m trying ti figure out early retirement strategies but without a set date in mind. So I don’t want to be overly conservative but I also don’t want to have to keep fussing with things. Have had about $40k in bond funds for 2-3 years that have made $1k total so I’m reassessing now.

      • anon

        Agreed – and you are paying the higher management fees typically associated with TDFs to have the fund’s manager handle the glide path for you.

    • Anon

      You might consider the Bogle 3 fund strategy. You do have to periodically reallocate but it is meant to be mostly set and forget.

  11. Anonymous

    Can anyone recommend a good place to shop for non-prescription reading glasses in Manhattan or Brooklyn? I really want to try them on as I have a giant head and am not an experienced glasses wearer. I’m looking for something moderately priced and at least somewhat stylish. This seems like a job for a bougie drugstore (Zitomer?). Are there any that have a good selection?

    • Anon

      Just order a few styles online from Caddis or Peepers or Zenni and return what doesn’t work. NYC may be different but I’ve never found stylish readers in a drugstore.

    • Anon

      You can get non-prescription readers from Warby Parker and other places that also sell prescription lenses.

  12. Anonymous

    DH had a vasectomy this week and then my daughter sprained her wrist. We have ice packs but they both prefer frozen peas. I am not exaggerating when I say we must have 14 pounds of frozen peas between the two freezers. Any recipe ideas appreciated, as I would like to make room in the freezer before the holidays!

    • Anon

      Just add a half cup or so at the end to any recipe that calls for vegetables. Peas are pretty good in just about everything.

    • S

      I like frozen peas, sausage, onions, peppers and garlic sauteed up and put over pasta.

      • No Face

        I do the same thing. I also sautee the same ingredient, and add rice and broth for 20 or so minutes with the cover on the skillet.

        Peas are also good in chicken pot pie and Shepard’s pie. You can toss them in soups too.

    • Anonymous

      I …. would have a hard time eating peas that had been used to ice my husband’s vasectomy.

      • Senior Attorney

        Right?

        I think those peas have done their duty, OP. I would open the bags and put them down the garbage disposal.

        Or feed them to the dog if I had one.

      • Anonymous

        He is icing over underwear 20 minutes every two hours – I don’t think they thaw. And she is icing 30 min every few hours (on a bare arm so maybe thawing). I was just thinking no waste but I will keep a better eye on the thaw question haha!

      • Vicky Austin

        Maybe stock? America’s Test Kitchen has a Risi e Bisi recipe that uses like 20 oz peas and I think some of them are for broth.

    • Anon

      Pea soup is an obvious one, if your family will eat it (mine would be lukewarm about it).

      Peas are a great add to almost any pasta dish and are also a good add to a lot of soups. It’s not traditional, but I put peas in chicken soup when we make it (along with the fresh carrots) to add an extra flavor component and boost the nutrition content.

    • Anonymous

      I threw those suckers away after my husband’s vasectomy. I don’t like to waste food, but I was not about to eat peas that thawed and re-froze and sat on his junk.

    • Anonymous

      Trash. Peas that have been repeatedly partially thawed and refrozen are gross.

    • Anon

      I’m sorry – please do not cook the peas that have been frozen, defrosted, and re-frozen over and over. They are forever ice packs now and disposable/compostable if you no longer need so many ice packs, but they are no longer food.

    • Anon

      Eww don’t eat those. Not because they’ve been close to your husband’s genitals but because the thawing and freezing and thawing and freezing is going to make them taste like crap.

    • Anon

      Surprised by all the “don’t eat them” comments. We use frozen peas for treating injuries, including my husband’s V a few years ago, and then eat them. Peas are a hardy vegetable and I don’t think freezing and thawing and refreezing does them much harm. I also really doubt they completely thaw unless you have the bag out of the freezer for hours, so if you’re rotating several different bags the peas probably stay pretty frozen.

    • Jeffiner

      Take the peas to a pond and feed them to ducks/geese. Vegetables are better for them than bread.

    • anon

      This is one of the funniest questions I have seen on here. (In jest – I could see myself running through the same calculus were I in this situation!)

    • Anon

      If they’ve thawed, refrozen, thawed, and refrozen again, I was always taught that’s a botulism poisoning risk.

      • Anon

        That is not accurate. They might taste bad but it is not a safety issue. There’s some concern with botulism and frozen fish I think, but not frozen veg.

      • Anon

        Your friendly microbiologist here- I agree they’re not a botulism risk, since that only grows in anoxic environments, like canned foods or food submerged in oil, but I do think they’re somewhat of a general safety risk if they’ve repeatedly been thawed and refrozen. Peas are small and thaw pretty fast, and every time they thaw, bacteria can start growing. I might eat them if they’d just been thawed out once or twice and then went back in the freezer quickly, but more than that is pushing it, since bacteria grow exponentially. They also won’t taste very good in anything where texture matters, so a soup or pesto might be okay, but I wouldn’t eat them straight. Just keep them as ice pack peas.

        • Anonymoose

          This. In fact, my young niece became very ill after this exact situation. Sister was using peas to ice a running injury, peas were in and out of the freezer for weeks, she eventually served them to her daughter one evening and quickly found herself taking daughter to the ER for a severe round of vomiting from food poisoning. Not worth it.

        • Anon

          Thank you for correcting me that it’s not botulism specifically (I wonder if advice about vacuum packed freezer goods and other frozen things got mixed up in my family!).

  13. 312

    Have you ever been in the situation where your friend is in the habit of telling you about events/parties with mutual friends that you aren’t invited to? I thought I was friends with a whole group, but apparently have been excluded from lots of things. I wouldn’t even know about most of them if it weren’t for my friend that hangs out with them more, even though they frequently talk negatively about her. It makes me sad and angry, both that she seems to get off on hurting me with the knowledge and also that I’m not a part of the group I thought I was. What would you do? I’d love to cut the friend out entirely, but our daughters are elementary age and play often. She’s the type that won’t let you just drop off quickly. When she isn’t bringing up events I’m not invited to, I otherwise have a good time with her. I feel like I’m in some junior high mean girls situation. Help!

    • Senior Attorney

      “Yikes, Friend! Let’s talk about something else! Hearing about events I wasn’t invited to makes me regress to seventh grade, and neither of us wants that!!”

    • Cat

      is your goal to be invited or is your goal to stop hearing about it? (I agree this chick sounds irritating…)

      • 312

        It was to be invited, but over the last year, I’ve been proactive about reaching out, hosting parties, etc. And still come to find out I’m not being included in events with the same people, so I’m giving up. Tonight is a holiday party that one of the girls had told me about, but then we didn’t get an invite. I feel stupid & insulted.

        • Luftballon

          This might be very stupid of me, but have you considered that maybe telling you about it is your invitation?

          Some of my friends used to do that (mention that they were doing parties / going to events), and then they got offended when I didn’t come (nobody invited me!)

          Now they specifically invite me and I go, but that was awkward.

        • Woof

          how formal are the invites? was that an informal invite? Maybe text the hostess and say “I was sort of invited by X, is the party still on?”

          or just forget these mean girls.

    • Anon

      Maybe voice up “that sounds so fun, I wish I had been invited!”. Maybe she is waiting for you to ask. (I agree this is really rude behavior regardless of her intentions).

    • MND

      Wow, she is not a good person. Reframe in your mind that she is your daughter’s friend’s mom and not your friend. For the other folks, while it hurts sometimes to feel left out, it’s helped me to think of friends like that as “sometimes friends” (you may genuinely enjoy your time with them and vice versa, but they’ve got other relationships going on so that you are not at the top of their list and that’s OK) and try to build the individual relationships with the other group members.

    • anon

      This group sounds like a mess, and even though it hurts, it’s probably better in the long run to not be involved with this crowd. I would pull way back from the so-called friendship with the original person. You can be friendly and cordial because of your kids, but she does not deserve to be a confidante or anything deeper than “friendly acquaintance.”

  14. Anon

    I need to get a few pairs of jeans hemmed, and I’ve noticed my go-to dry cleaner hems pants in a way that totally ruins the bottoms, making them look heavy with excess fabric. After doing some research it seems the thing to ask for in order to avoid this issue is asking for an “original hem”. Can anyone confirm this is accurate and is this something a typical dry cleaner/seamstress can handle? Tailors in my area are loathe to do tiny projects like this so I’d like to avoid if possible

    • Anon

      Do you have a Nordstrom in your area? They will hem your jeans the right way, for a fee, if your explain that you want the jeans to look exactly the way they look now, only shorter.

    • Anon

      Yes, original hem. It’s often more expensive because they clip off the hem and reattach it further up. I usually ask for this unless the original hem doesn’t have much fading or wear that I want to preserve. YMMV with Nordstrom tailors. Ours is particularly horrible and ruined two brand new pairs of trousers.

  15. Door doesn’t lock

    Advice please: I’m supposed to move into my new flat but the door doesn’t lock from the inside. I’ve asked the landlord to fix it but he insists the previous tenant had no problems and was fine with the chain lock. I’ve showed him the myriad videos on How To Open A Chain Lock From Outside but he won’t budge. What are my recourses in the UK that will get him to move on this issue? The apartment has a myriad other issues but this is the biggie that would actually prevent me from moving in — it’s not in an exactly nice area of London. My previous lease ends in a couple of days. The housing market was so crazy that the bidding war never really allowed room for demands, and I never imagined the multipoint lock would not lock from inside… .

  16. Nina

    All the jewelry I wear right now is gifts from family, so even though I have gold jewelry I don’t have a frame of reference for this – how much should a 18k gold (not gold plated) ring cost?

  17. Hollis

    My teenage niece wants a small crossbody purse and I am at a loss for what’s cool these days. I know I’m dating myself, but I had an Esprit purse or two growing up, then Kate Spade! Any suggestions on a brand that is current for teenagers? She is casual, wears jeans and sweatshirts and nike air forces like all other teens these days. Thank you!

  18. abigal stone

    PANTS!

    After my coworker wore a pair of dark, dark green high-waisted wool dress pants to thanksgiving, I haven’t been able to get them off my mind. But when everything has gone athleisure, I’ve spent 45 minutes searching without luck

  19. Anonymous

    How do you know you need to be medicated for depression? If you’ve stopped meds how did you know it was time? (I’ve resisted bc I don’t just want to be medicated forever.)

    • Anonymous

      After my therapist told me twice (months apart) that I should give it a try, I did. It is so much better. Still have some bad days but no comparison to before. Check with your doctor and therapist and then decide.

    • Anon

      When I was so constantly angry that I couldn’t enjoy my life. In some people, depression isn’t the sad darkness that is often described. For me it manifests like a bad dream when you’re trying to run and can’t, everything just feels like being stuck in molasses and I am irrationally angry and tired. I was relieved to read here that other experience depression in similar ways (though I’m also sad for how many people seem to be affected!).
      I stopped taking the meds after about a year when I felt good a majority of the time. I did talk to my doctor about tapering, I think it was a televisit. It was not a dramatic change to stop, and I’ve added the meds back a couple of times when I felt the irritation and anger creep up again without an objective reason. I’ve been off it for a continuous year now and won’t add it back until I need to. We’re TTC now and I will likely need it afterwards as I did with my first. It’s been five years since the original prescription. Medication was honestly so much better than drinking excessively which was my usual go-to before. Let us know if you have other questions.

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