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I'm always a fan of a colorful card case — so much easier to find in the depths of your bag — and this one from Kurt Geiger is a lot of fun. Plus, it's on sale!
If this one feels a little bit TOO fun to use as the card case you use to carry your business cards, keep in mind that you can use card cases in a lot of ways beyond your business cards. For example, you can use them as a really minimal wallet with just your credit card and ID.
Another idea: you could also use this kind of card case for cards you use in a specific place – such as lunch reward cards for places near your office, or your gym ID + a gift card for the juice bar on the way home from the gym.
The card case was $45, but is now $30 at Nordstrom.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Anonymous
I like using a card case with a few key items in it when I have switched to a wristlet or evening bag.
Anne-on
+1 – during the pandemic I switched to a credit card case and I still use that 90% of the time when running errands. It is really nice to run to the shops with just a card case and a phone though I remain annoyed that very few of my pants have pockets deep enough to accomodate a phone, card case, and car keys.
pugsnbourbon
Yep – I very rarely carry my full wallet anymore.
Ellen
This seems like a good idea, unless you loose it. I find that I need a big schlepper or I risk loosing things when they are very small. The only time it was a positive to loose something very small was when my Dad made me loose Sheketovits, with his small member that I never missed ever since.
Anon
I don’t even own a wallet, just a Cuyana card case. Holds 2-3 credit cards, ID, SEPTA key card and maybe a $20
Anon
Has anyone worn Frances Valentine shoes? They seem to be my ideal — nice looking, reasonable heels. Spendy though. Many expensive shoe brands don’t work on my feet (wide forefoot, nattow heel area). I would have to order in my area vs try on in a store.
Anonymous
I haven’t. But it’s a Kate Spade brand. Not sure if that helps, but I ’d assume fit would be the same if you’ve liked those.
Anonymous
The fit is not the same. I have a duck shaped foot. Kate Spade works, Francis Valentine unfortunately did not.
Anon
I have, very well made and they work for me. Worth the $
Op
they charge 10$ for any return, by the order, fwiw
Anon
I need new boots for my business casual (leaning more business) workplace. I am short and wear lots of black so I’m thinking color will be black and heel will be 1.5-2.5 inches. I wear lots of pants and have thicker calves so probably ankle boots. Specific shoe recommendations appreciated!
Anonymous
The Coach Jade bootie is cute, and on sale. I have a different Coach bootie from last year that I sprang for because I love the gold nailhead trim, and it’s been really comfortable.
Anon
I love all my Freda Salvador boots. Lots of variety and very cool.
blueberries
Following up on Ribena’s recommendation for a futon-style mattress this morning, anyone have recommendations for something like this available in the US and queen size?
I’d love to get something really comfy for guests, but still need something that will fit in a closet once the guest leaves.
I don’t have space for a permanent guest bed. My experience has been that even the best rated air beds eventually leak. I’ve heard that, a Japanese-style futon + mat can be excellent. I’ve never used one and don’t know what to look for. Advice?
Anon
The roll-up style mats are not comfortable. I was hoping to pack a twin-size version in a minivan and use it when visiting a relative, but it really feels like sleeping on the floor. Amazon has some folding ones in addition to the roll up style. I’d search Amazon and read the reviews closely, but I doubt a comfortable queen-size mattress will fold to fit in a closet, unless it’s a gigantic closet.
Anon
Having said that, this one has good reviews and comes in queen size:
https://www.amazon.com/Mattress-Inofia-Tri-fold-Removable-Breathable/dp/B07QSJYBRR/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=3UNK7BTF72ZHU&keywords=queen%2Bsize%2Bfolding%2Bmattress&qid=1677269593&sprefix=queen%2Bsize%2Bfolding%2Bmattress%2Caps%2C102&sr=8-1-spons&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.304cacc1-b508-45fb-a37f-a2c47c48c32f&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTUxHM081Sk5LSEZXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNjU1MDI3MjcwMklYRU9VNUpUViZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTg3NTU4MVJYSlBJMzBaSEVOSiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU&th=1
Seventh Sister
I got this one recently and it’s actually quite comfortable. I don’t have a great place to store it in my tiny, overstuffed house, but that’s a me problem, not a folding bed problem.
Lily
Just get a top-rated air mattress (the kind that is pretty tall, so guests don’t struggle to get off of it). You can get the wire cutter pick for under $200. Yes, it may eventually leak, but if you have regular guests, it’ll be worth it.
Anon
+1
Totally agree. Those air mattresses are so convenient.
You can always repair a leak yourself. It isn’t hard.
The roll up mats are not comfortable at all. I just got back from “vacation” staying with relatives and that was what I slept on. I was miserable. If you grew up sleeping on that, you are used to it, and honestly it is probably great for your back. But that is cruelty for your guests, so if you get that, be sure to warn them so they can choose to sleep elsewhere. In fact, that could be a great way of scaring away overnight guests!
It was slightly better than when I used to visit my brother, who used to just give me a sleeping bag and his hard wood floor.
Anon
Do you have room for a couch? This concept looks very cool
https://www.domino.com/renovation/sinking-garage-turned-into-guest-house-renovation/
low-show bandages for face?
I had to have surgery on my nose to remove a skin cancer (thankfully they got it all!) and now that the original pressure bandage was removed, I have to keep it bandaged for a week until the stitches come out. Right now I have 2 bandaids across the bridge of my nose so basically just the tip of my nose is showing. Not a big deal, but I do have to lead some important work Zoom meetings with clients before the stitches are removed. I know part of this depends on skin tone/bandage color, but does anyone have suggestions for how to bandage a long line down the top of your nose where it’s maybe a little less obvious? I can’t go bandage free, and besides, looking at the stitches makes me a little queasy and I don’t think others want to see that either. Leading the Zooms off-camera isn’t really an option.
And, a friendly PSA to make that appointment for your annual skin check!
Anne-on
I swear by hydrocollodial bandages to help with healing of these types of incisions. My husband was able to find a larger size in our local CVS the last time he had a mohs procedure but I try to order them ahead of time. The brand I like is “ConvaTec DuoDERM Extra Thin Dressing” – they come in various sizes and you can cut them down as needed. It basically keeps the area moist which encourages much better wound healing.
You can ask your doc for their opinion but I’d keep the area bandaged for as long as you can stand it – the difference in the healing from the mole my husband kept bandaged for a month with hydrocollodial bandages vs. the one he kept aquaphor and gauze plus medical tape on for 2 weeks was night and day.
Anon
I would just wear my regular bandages and open the meeting with “pardon my bandaids, I had some minor skin surgery” because I don’t think covering it up would be too effective. My manager came in with similar bandages after similar surgery and no one was fussed.
NYCer
+1. It is no big deal. People will see the bandage regardless of what you choose, so just go with what is most comfortable and effective.
Cat
I would just wear whatever bandaids are most comfortable and effective and say something like ‘don’t mind me, recovering from a dermatologist visit!’ — TONS of people have been there.
Coach Laura
This was me but it was a job interview and it made me so nervous. I was 35 at the time and less confident than I am now but I didn’t want to make a comment or say “skin cancer” so I said nothing.
But I got the job so I guess I wasn’t too awkward.
I would suggest a few of the clear bandaids stacked horizontally over the bridge of your nose.
Depends on skin tone but those are almost invisible on me. They do have bandaids in different skin tones if you’re not pasty white like me.
Coach Laura
Like these https://ctchealth.ca/product/band-aid-clear-comfort-flex-bandages/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA3eGfBhCeARIsACpJNU_lvQDd0N0fIbtb3_pTKVAPdbLsE5aeO5tmka7DShI5ndPGniDb8HYaAi-eEALw_wcB
or these: https://www.bandaid.ca/products/plastic-bandages/clear-all-one-size-bandages
Even a few of these stacked in a row. https://www.band-aid.com/products/adhesive-bandages/tru-stay-clear-spot-bandages
low-show bandages for face?
OP here – Thank you all for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences with this! I’m going to CVS to buy clear bandaids and I have some hydrocolloidal bandages that I will use at night and during the day when off-camera.
Anonymous
Follow guidance from your doctor on when this is ok versus a bandage, but after the initial healing period I have done great with scar tape on flattening and healing scars. It’s great because you can cut exactly what you need and is flexible.
Ellen
Just tell them you had skin surgery and that should end the matter. Rosa had a beauty mark removed from her nose when she was in 9th Grade, and no one even thought about it again. She was cute before and just as cute after. End of story.
Anon
So how does everyone think the Alex Murdaugh trial is going? Do you think the jury will vote to convict? My $.02 – based on the evidence I’ve heard so far, I have reasonable doubt.
Anon
Lawd, I think the po-po got the right guy. I am surprised that they didn’t move the trial to somewhere like Spartanburg, given the family ties and history of hushing things up. Would have loved to hear the voir diring of jurors.
If he walks, the plaintiffs’ lawyers will get him.
How does Buster have so much time off? Ditto his girlfriend. Will we ever learn about the local boy he’s rumored to have killed? Who else has a family xmas card where 3/4 of the people in it have likely killed a person or two?
Anon
I think he has destroyed any credibility he could ever have counted on having. Yes, I lied to everyone about everything, but I am not lying at allllll now. Lol!!!!! What an idiot.
He’s going to jail. Juries convict on emotions and they don’t like thinking they are being taken for a ride.
Anon
Do mentally healthy people struggle with hygiene? I was depressed for a looooooong time before I went on antidepressants. It was like a switch flipped. Specifically I have trouble convincing myself to shower. I’m generally good about other hygiene; I wear clean clothes, brush teeth, wash hands, do skincare, etc. But for some reason taking a shower is still something I avoid to a point where it’s gross. I work from home and have a 7 month old, so gross isn’t out of place.
Anon
Sometimes I don’t want to shower because it takes too much time, or it’s too cold in my house, or I’m just being lazy, but rarely do I skip more than a day, because ultimately I’d rather shower than be gross. No history of depression.
Anon
ha ha ha…
I don’t even have your excuse of having a 7 month old (!), but yes I have also been very lax on the shower department while working from home. Just since the COVID stuff. I mean, if I am going out to meet people or meetings/work on the outside I do the full prep. But on a typical day at home, I use one of those amazing bedbath cloths that you get in the hospital to do a bed bath post-op, and just hit the stinky bits + clean clothes + deodorant and I’m fine with that. Bundled up in winter, I am ok with doing basic errands too.
Or sometimes I take an ultraquick shower but no hairwash/conditioner, no skin care.
Honestly, for me dealing with all the ridiculousness that I need to do in the shower for a “make me ready for the world” makes them not very enjoyable! How I hate the maintenance…
Anonymous
My guess since it is just the shower is that there is something specific that is making showers unconsciously unpleasant. Personally, I just kind of hate being wet, so I tend to put it off when I don’t feel too gross and am not meeting with other people (outside my baby and husband, they can just deal with it)
Anon
Yes, and honestly, “shower every day” is a pretty recent thing – like within the last 40-50 years. Growing up, if everyone in my house showered every day, we’d have to either divide up between morning/evening shower-ers, or keep them <5 minutes each. Water heaters were not that big.
You're not gross, you're busy.
Anonymous
+1 Am 45 in my childhood home we were divided into night bathers and morning bathers. We also didn’t bathe every day as children (seem to remember 2-3 times per week) but I think we were outliers in that regard.
Anon
Also, “Florida baths” in the summer, that is, going to the pool counted as a shower/bath that day.
Anon
I was going to say I have trouble remembering because I have kids, and when I have time I’d rather lay down and scroll on my phone, but you have a baby so that checks out.
Cat
I will put off “full showers” when WFH because I don’t want to have to blow dry my hair just for regular old Teams meetings, but no, I don’t feel awake and productive without at least a face & body wash!
bluebonnethtx
I pretty regularly do body showers only and put my hair under a shower cap. It just adds so much time to blow dry and style in the morning
Anonymous
+1 if you have bangs you can put the rest of your hair in a shower cap and just wash and style your bangs.
AIMS
I think some people just don’t have the same bothers as others. It’s pretty hard for me to go more than one day without showering regardless of my mental state (but I spent years happily not taking off my makeup/washing my face at night), but I have a friend who is pretty on top of everything but has to force herself to shower every few days and would easily go a week or more before it even remotely seemed like a problem for her. She’s not depressed. Her husband is the same way. It works for them!
Vicky Austin
I’m like your friend, but I physically cannot skip brushing my teeth in the morning or it feels too icky all day. I’ve forgotten a handful of times and it’s always just a bad, bad day.
BeenThatGuy
I have an overly keen sense of smell. Like, I can smell my teenagers feet after he’s walked out of the room, several minutes later, and I gag. In certain instances, I could vomit or dry heave. It’s a real problem in close quarters with others. For that reason, it’s a MUST in my house to shower every day. I’m not saying everyone else has to; the sensitivity is my issue alone. My vote is that if it doesn’t bother you, or your family, don’t think twice about it.
Anon
I have a sensitive sense of smell, but also, people (including myself) smell like sweat to me within an hour after showering. So showering has never really been a solution in my household.
anonshmanon
oh god, you would probably have puked when walking into my work kitchen the other day. I am normally not super sensitive to smells, but someone had microwaved fish – gross!
BeenThatGuy
Yep, I would have puked. When I had COVID, loosing my sense of smell for those days was a true gift!
Anon
What! So so gross. I can’t believe people still do this in a work setting. It’s a hackneyed sitcom joke, even!! Doesn’t every office-goer know this basic etiquette?! That is a truly revolting smell.
Anon
I knew someone when we were all barely out of college who had no sense of smell at all who was truly mortified when someone let her know this office etiquette rule! I remember her occasionally asking whether other lunches smelled.
Seattle Freeze
Oh, let me tell you about the time my college roommate with no sense of smell decided to make tuna casserole in a crock pot. I nearly threw up when I got home. She couldn’t understand why I had all the apartment windows open.
In January.
In Michigan.
Anon
I have no mental health challenges, I just find showering to be annoying and a time suck. If I don’t smell and haven’t left my house (and gotten dirty at the barn or gym), a shower is optional. Especially in the winter. Summer I shower more often bc I sweat a lot. But I wish I didn’t have to.
Anon
+1
Yes, this.
anon
Barn dirt isn’t even real dirt. That’s what I tell myself. I feel much dirtier after riding on the subway than after the barn. But others would likely disagree, haha.
Anon
Barn dirt > public dirt alllll day longgggfff
Anonymous
Yes. my suggestion, if you can swing it, is purchase those shower wipes. They’re a little pricey (maybe $2/wipe?) and geared toward hikers and runners. Those people can have lots of stink and no water, so it can be worth it for those of us who have stink and don’t want to use water.
MagicUnicorn
A wet washcloth works, too. I use this in the summer when I feel like all I’ve done is shower, dry off, sweat, and repeat.
Anonymous
#teamshowerwipes
Pandemic innovation that saves time.
Anonymous
You’re not alone! I have an oily scalp, and if I don’t wash my hair every other day, it gets itchy, and I will get dandruff, so that is the thing that keeps me on task with full showers. I don’t mind the 5 minute body showers so much, it’s the full showers with hair wash, conditioner, and shaving, that are so time consuming. Plus, if I wash my hair I have to blow dry it, (which takes about 10 mins at least) or it poofs out like Hermione Granger’s hair as described in the first Harry Potter book.
Anon
I don’t think I’d be considered depressed but since WFH and the cold weather, I could go three days without showering. Now that I live w my SO I try to shower more often and I have to shower after a workout. However, I only wash my hair once or twice a week and I have laser hair removal on my legs so my showers are quick and very hot.
Anon
I shower every other day and always have. I’m just not a sweaty person. Like, I’ve never gotten armpit stains on my clothing, as an example. I don’t noticeably sweat from my pits at all.
Of course I would shower after a sweaty workout or extra hot weather where I get really sweaty, but beyond that, I’m waiting until tomorrow. Occasionally it stretches to three days, but that’s my max.
When I find myself not wanting to shower on my schedule, it’s the getting naked, and then anticipating stepping out of the shower naked and being cold that really puts me off. Having a little space heater in my bathroom has made it so much easier. I’m warm when I get in and warm when I get out, and that’s what my own personal sensory needs seem to be.
See if a little heater helps!
Anonymous
You don’t have to shower every day.
You don’t have to wash your hair every time you shower. That makes them much quicker and less cold.
I’ve heard some people who hate showers are ok if they take showers in the dark, or with a candle.
I like to think of my shower as a way of washing the day off. No better feeling than going from shower to bed.
Anon
Apparently I’m an outlier! I would have said absolutely you have mental health issues if you don’t shower every day. I cannot imagine and had no idea so many people don’t. I have to shower every morning or I feel disgusting. I also wash my hair every day.
Anonymous
Same. I must shower and was my hair every day, change my underwear at least twice a day, and wash any article of clothing worn next to my skin every time it’s worn, or I stink terribly and feel sticky. Don’t other people sweat? Or do they just not care?
Anon
People sweat differently. No, not all people stink. And most women can get away with things men can’t (stink wise…). Also as our hormones change with aging, our sweating etc.. changes. I couldn’t skip daily showers until I started spironolactone (testosterone blocker) for acne. That medicine dried me out in a snap. In addition, my hair stylists and my dermatologist actually encouraged less frequent hair washing/showering, especially with aging.
I’ve never known anyone who changed their underwear twice a day, unless they had showered in the middle of the day, so you are on the opposite end of the curve. That’s ok. Maybe you have a higher testosterone level or are more active than many of us or are very young or ??genetics.
Now that many of us work from home, and the full monty isn’t required, it is wonderfully freeing! At first it was the less make-up, then less hair drying/messing, then comfy clothes …. so it’s not surprising less frequent showers followed.
Trish
I don’t sweat. My husband sweats like a pig. Yes, we are all different. I don’t have exzema but those who do sometimes find that showering too often aggravates the condition. I usually shower everyday but now that I WFH, I may go up to 36 hours if I have nowhere to go.
Coach Laura
In my 20s and 30s and early 40s, I had to wash my hair every day or it looked terrible. Now it’s like every 5-6 days for a shampoo. In my 40 years in the workplace (age 14), I think I went to work 3 times without a shower, and that was when our power was out. Showering made me feel good and woke me up to get energetic for the day. It was automatic – get up, have tea, get in shower, go to work.
But since I turned 60 and WFH since 3/8/2020 (and retired this month) I struggle to shower for a few reasons. I hate being cold and wet and even with a space heater the air drafts still feel cold. So winter is really hard. And as good as it feels after, I still drag my feet. I’d rather sit and read or go for a walk then spend the time to take a shower. Or have another cup of tea. Not a depression issue but more of a momentum or laziness issue.
So in the winter I use body wipes (from hospital) or Neutrogena face wipes followed by a scrub with steaming hot washcloth and quick toweling to extend times between showers. And deodorant. In the summer, I get less cold and need to shower at least every other day and do the “bits and pits” towel bath on days I don’t shower. But I still run the space heater on all but the warmest days.
Coach Laura
*50 years in the workplace
Anon
I personally enjoy showers but we camp a lot and I am perfectly fine just doing the bits and the pits with a washcloth/baby wipe and calling it a day. My normal showers at home are usually five minutes. Just soap on the stinky parts. I wash my hair every 2-3 days and shave then.
I also do what a previous poster said of a “Florida bath”. If I’ve been in the lake or pool it counts as a shower in the summer. Unless my hair gets soaked at the pool.
Anonymous
Where are your favorite places to buy used designer bags? I’ve started getting ads for fashionphile – is realreal better or something like that?
Anne-on
The real real is apparently a horrible place to buy secondhand at the moment – there are lots of stories/videos about it (I adore fashion tiktok and love handbags). Fashionphile has a better reputation but it’s very much ‘buyer beware’ as none of the big brands with authenticate for you.
Just curious – what are you looking for?
Anon
What is so horrible about TRR? Please don’t make me go to tiktok!
Anonymous
I just bought a see by Chloe crossbody (Joan) but was considering whether for a few hundred more I could get a Chloe Faye or an older bag like balenciaga or blue Epi LV or… something.
JTM
The Real Real is worse & has been hit with lawsuits about them selling fakes. I won’t use them because of it.
I’ve heard good things about eBay surprisingly, but only the bags that are using the authenticity guarantee – the seller sends the bag to Ebay & they get it authenticated before it goes to the buyer; if the bag comes back as fake then the buyer is automatically refunded.
Anon
I am not usually highly influenced but pigmami on tiktok’s spon con for this service was compelling.
AIMS
I can’t speak to personal experience but I was in a Saks Off Fifth the other day and they had certified used designer bags there. Obviously your selection is limited to what they may have but I like the idea of seeing something that you’re getting second hand.
Alanna of Trebond
After that New York Magazine article I have stopped buying designer bags used, unfortunately, unless you are looking for a seriously vintage/unusual item that is unlikely to be knocked off.
Ribena
I could use some advice from the hive. I took a new job last year, moving between divisions of the same organisation, where my subject area specialism was the thing in common. (Think, expert in taps, moving from sinks to baths).
In my last role I was working on a project team, where I was the tap expert advising the project, but we also had a project manager etc.
When I was shoulder-tapped for the new role I was assured we would have the same structure.
Cue the start of the new calendar year and that transpires not to be the case, because of a decision made by the team that provided the PMs… as well as running all the project meetings I’m building the plan (including laying out a Gantt chart in Excel because I don’t have MSP, reverse engineering action and decision logs, etc). This is SO not what I signed up to do. I can’t tell what the best move is here – just quietly job hunt?
Anon
Yup job hunt.
Chl
What conversations have you had with your boss or others about your feelings ?
Ses
I’d probably at least meet with leadership to try to get a plan for adding a PM. I’ve been in a similar position in my role in fintech, and once some growing pains passed, we got the right specialisation of staff and I was able to shift to my preferred role.
IIRC you have an in-demand specialty right now so you may get more action if they know you’re seriously unhappy.
And if not, yes, probably time to move unless there’s significant incentive to stay.
Coach Laura
I think SES has good advice. You are valued and it’s not a performance issue. Depending on the personalities, you can call it research to determine needs or just straight up say that the job has changed since it was offered/pitched. Then listen with your ear and your instincts both.
If you have a mentor, a former boss or higher-up coworker that you could consult for advice quietly and get their opinion(s) that might help.
Taxes & Moving
My husband works in NYC but has been working part of the week at home for the last year. Last summer, we moved from NY to CT, so find ourselves in a trickier tax situation this year.
All income tax withheld went to NY; we are filing both state returns and CT is giving a credit. I guess my question is – what implications does working from home in CT part of the week have? Do we have to consider this portion of the income “from CT sources” or is everything still “from NY sources” because the company is based in NY and he still goes to the office part of the week (aka working from home is more informal, not an official “remote” worker)? Any nuances I’m not considering?
(We are using TurboTax because other than moving and selling/buying houses, the rest of our tax situation is straightforward and we are taking the standard deduction)
Cat
Can you check with your husband’s payroll department? FWIW, family in a similar situation (WFH is optional, office is in City A in State A but home is in State B) – because WFH is optional, no relief from the wage tax in Office Location.
Coach Laura
I’d go further and say that NY taxes are tricky and you should see a tax accountant. During 2020, when the covid pandemic caused thousands of travel nurses to volunteer to work in NY, they were taxed on their whole year’s salary in their home state. Not a very good way to reward them for their dedication just because part of the year’s salary came from NY. I think there were waivers requested but don’t know if they got them. Anyway, NY is pretty picky and will attach any income that it can.
Anon
‘During 2020, when the covid pandemic caused thousands of travel nurses to volunteer to work in NY, they were taxed on their whole year’s salary in their home state.”
Isn’t this a home state decision? Not understanding how this is NY’s fault. But either way it sucks and I agree it’s wrong.
Anne-on
Has anyone traveled to Korea or Japan with young teens? My son (and I) are both super interested in going to Korea and while we’re there we’d likely tack on a few days in Japan. We have a bunch of family weddings next year so we’d be looking at spring break 2025. That gives us lots of time to plan but I’d love to hear firsthand if you went with kids/teens and what they did/did not enjoy. The long timeframe also gives us time to hoard points because the flights to Asia are rough (did Singapore for work a few times with stops in Hong Kong) and I strongly prefer to fly in business.
Anonymous
No recommendations, but I would love to hear what others think. Japan is very high on my list for family travel with my 10 and 14 year old.
Anon
Not with my kids, but I went to Seoul and Tokyo when I was 16. We went because my mom had a conference in Korea and I had a good friend from middle school who had moved back to Seoul so for that portion of the trip I stayed with her family and did normal Korean teenage things, which was super cool but not a normal tourist experience. I liked Tokyo a lot though, and I was just with my parents there. It was overwhelming and culture shock but in a good way. It was probably the best trip I did with my parents in my pre-college teenage years. I do remember I had a lot of issues finding food I liked but I was a picky eater.
And +1 on hoarding points and flying business. My attitude now (at 38) is that if the flight is longer than about 8 hours and overnight I won’t go in economy. You may need to open a few credit cards but it will be so worth it to fly business.
Anon
I took my 8 yo and 11 yo sons to Korea just before Covid. They do not like Korean food, but there are plenty of Western food options in the cities. They loved Seoul but got bored of visiting temples pretty quickly. They liked Seoul Sky/Lotte Tower, taking the train to Busan (no zombies, thank goodness), Line Friends stores, and the Busan aquarium. Now that they are old enough to visit the DMZ, we can add that to the list of things to do if we go back. I also want to go to Jeju Island.
Check out the Korean Englishman YouTube channel for ideas of things to do in Korea. They took a group of British high schoolers all over Korea and they had a blast. The water park they went to looks super fun.
A
Go, because your kids will love Korea and Japan. Especially the food, the cool street fashion, and so many things. See if you can go on a tour to the DMZone in Korea. This is a country officially at war since 1953.
Singapore has the finest airport in the world and if you’re American, you’ll be blown away. Awesome food, super diverse, incredibly safe. Tons of facilities.
But for Japan and Korea you’re better off flying from US west coast. Tons of flights.
Junior Associate
Relationships between South Korea and North Korea are somewhat strained atm due to idiotic leadership and various faux pas so I would give the DMZ tour a miss right now (as a Korean I can’t go into DMZ anyway but just saying can’t rule out incidents nearer the cease fire line) and see how things go closer to the travel date. But agree it’s otherwise super safe in both countries – I used to travel to Japan every other month when I still lived in Korea and had an amazing time every time.
Anon
Not with kids personally, but I’ve traveled extensively in Japan and think it’s probably one of the best places to bring teens, presuming they’re well behaved. It’s not a place where you see meltdowns or bratty behavior (adults included, it’s very calm) so if your kids fit the bill, I’d absolutely go to Japan.
Anonymous
Has anyone here recently gotten a job from applying online, even if you didn’t know a soul at the hiring employer? I feel like everyone I know gets a job because they know someone, and then they submit a resume and it’s silently fast tracked. It’s how I’ve gotten 3 out of my 4 legal jobs and I haven’t applied in nearly 5 years, so I’m a little bummed at the idea of applying into black holes.
Chl
I have hired people who just applied online so it happens!
Anon
I think your chances are better for this now than they ever have been.
Anon
Really? I feel the opposite. I got all my jobs by applying blindly but I’ve been looking for a year and haven’t even gotten an interview. It seems like you need a foot in the door now more than ever.
anon
I did, in summer 2019. The fit was surprisingly good and I’m still here four years later. The jobs I’ve gotten from blind online applications have been better than the ones I’ve gotten through networking or recruiters. It can work out! I think of it like a lottery ticket in that you have to play to win.
Anon
I did! And it was for a remote position and resulted in a 50% pay raise in a job that I really enjoy.
However…for about two years before that, I applied to about 60 jobs–re-writing my cover letters and tweaking my resume for each one. I got three interviews total from those–one of which was the job I got. Fortunately, I was employed during that whole time, but it was often disheartening.
It definitely felt like applying into a black hole most of the time. Prior to that, every job I had gotten was because of connections I had (and my qualifications, but the connections are what opened the door, the qualifications got me the job), so I definitely think connections go a super long way. But, I did want to share that it is not impossible to get a job without those connections.
pugsnbourbon
I’ve gotten two jobs through applying without knowing anyone in the role. The first time, in 2018-2019, I had a response rate similar to yours. MAN was it disheartening.
Anon
I never really got job by knowing someone. I’m in financial compliance with a legal background and I applied to my first job in this industry through my law school job board. I was recruiter on LinkedIn for my second job and I applied for my current job through the company’s website.
Monday
I have also never gotten a job by any way other than applying through their system.
Anonymous
I have, several times.
Anon
I have, back in 2020 – got a job with a company I had never heard of, and where I knew nobody, off of Indeed. The job didn’t last – I got laid off late last year – but it is totally possible. I will also share that after I got laid off, I applied to many jobs where I had no contacts, just blind applying off a job ad or the company’s website, and I got 10+ screening interviews from those applications. But I’m in a niche occupation and that may explain why it’s easier for me to get my foot through the door.
Anon
Yes, I have and at a fairly high level too.
Anon
Not OP, but a follow up for those who got jobs this way – did you write cover letters? I’m getting burnt out on writing really great cover letters and getting no response, but I imagine a cover letter increases your odds of getting an interview substantially? Or maybe it doesn’t?
Anon
Nope. If a cover letter is required, I write a short cover letter that hits some highlights of why I think I would be a good fit for the job. If it’s not required, I usually don’t bother, and it did not seem to hurt me when I was applying for jobs last fall. But again – I am in a niche occupation and have a lot of work experience and academic credentials, all of which is pretty clear from my resume.
FWIW I have heard HR people say they don’t even read cover letters unless they’re dealing with a nitpicky hiring manager who insists on seeing them.
Anon
Yes, I wrote a very targeted cover letter that I was told is the reason they called me.
Anon
For the job I got, I have applied via Linkedin and there was a space for 3-5 sentences to explain why are you applying. I just wrote basics, no elaborate story.
Headhunters and contacts didn’t really need a cover letter.
Other jobs I was applying online – I don’t think anyone reads the cover letters; they just scan the CV, see if it is a match, check for financials and then either progress or decline. They ask about motivation on a screen call.
pugsnbourbon
Only if it was required. I had a basic template I used and plugged in different stories/accomplishments depending on the type of role.
Anonymous
Yes, in my line of work it’s essential, but I am basically a grant writer. So persuasive writing and following directions for how to apply is absolutely key to demonstrating I can do the job. When I was job hunting I had a fairly boilerplate cover letter that I would customize. When I was applying for a greater variety of jobs (earlier in my career) I had a long list of somewhat interchangeable bullet points that I could drop in, and I would pick about 3 for each letter that were most relevant to the job.
Anonymous
In response to the claims that no one reads the cover letters, as a hiring manager I absolutely do. I have found them to be an important indicator of writing skills and knowledge of the field and position.
Anon
Yes! Got my new job by applying online (plus moved to a new country). Also, recruited new team members at last job who were applying online.
However, I was progressing better in recruitment process when I was searching via headhunters or through contacts.
Anonymous
Yes- I had the same feeling as you but I’m thrilled with my new job. Had no connections, applied online, studied up for the interviews, and got the job. It does happen! For context I am mid career with about 15 years experience.
helloanon
Yes, last year. I wrote a cover letter and targeted my resume to the position, using keywords in the job title and job description throughout my resume to get passed the first auto-screen by HR software.
Anonymous
Yes. The recruiter who was responsible for their hiring told me that it’s so difficult to hire that there is a great reliance on the ai screening of resumes and cover letters looking for key words that don’t appear in the ad, which indicate the characteristics and skills they are looking for. I read something about reaching out to random staff at the company and asking for recommendations because the person will get a bonus so if you seem reasonable it’s in their interest as well, even if you have not had contact with them personally or professionally. I have not tried that tactic.
OOO
My boss has asked me a couple of times if I could take on another project or if I was at bandwidth. I answered that I was at bandwidth and could not take on anything additional right now, which is the truth. My colleague asked if I could participate in a project and CC’d our boss. I said I couldn’t take it on right now. Boss responded and said that we will discuss it during our 1:1 on Monday. And now I’m left ruminating all weekend about what Boss plans to say to me.
Anon
I would imagine they really want your help on this project and are interested in seeing where you can rebalance your load. Maybe certain tasks you currently handle can be given to someone else. I would look at this as a compliment that they really want your assistance on the project and you are valuable!!
Trish
Yep. My husband’s boss will rearrange everything if he really needs my husband to work on a new project that requires his more advanced skill. Project managment isn’t easy.
Ses
It’s probably going to be a convo about load balancing so you can take the new thing on.
It’s annoying for them to send an ambiguous message on a Friday, but based on the description of events, it sounds like there may be a need to reprioritise. Don’t sweat it and enjoy your weekend.
(Signed, a boss who tweaks my team’s priorities when they’re at capacity and sh*t needs doing)
Ellen
I would tell the boss that you are NOT going to take anything on. Period. And then don’t! Simple as that.
Anon
Alternatives to dinner for meeting the parents? Planning to introduce my boyfriend to my parents soon and although dinner is the obvious choice, I’m trying to think of other activities that aren’t dinner that might work. My parents can be a bit uncomfortable with new people, so I’m thinking an activity might take some pressure off. Everyone lives locally so travel isn’t an issue. Ideas?
Anon
Lunch/brunch? It’s shorter, and people are less tired. And because it happens during the day/sunlight it seems like less of a big deal.
We sometimes invite them to something and then might get coffee or desert or something to eat before or after. Like a concert or a play on a sunday afternoon. It then gives you something else to talk about, and can be nice if you all have a shared cultural interest.
Anonymous
Board game? Escape the room?
Anon
I would talk to your parents and/or bf and see what they think. Personally I find meeting new people at activities to be really challenging because it’s hard to make small talk when you’re trying to bowl or mini golf or whatever the activity is. My brain just can’t focus on two things at once I guess. Dinner with strangers can be awkward, but at least you’re looking at each other face to face and there’s wine. If it’s people I already know and am not super close with, then an activity can be better than dinner because it cuts down on the feeling that you should be making small talk. But I feel like when you’re meeting for the first time small talk is kind of obligatory and it would be weird to meet someone for the first time and have to split my attention between them and some activity. But if your parents and BF are all for it, then feel free to disregard my advice!
Anon
I met my daughter’s very serious boyfriend when she brought him to a small houseparty I was throwing for my own birthday (immediately pre-pandemic.) I think he may have been a little like a fish out of water and probably pretty surprised at how funny my friends and I think we are, but ultimately he had a good time, we liked him a lot, and he got my friends’ stamp of approval right away. They’re still together and they are planning to move into our house during upcoming grad school, so I guess we didn’t scare them off altogether!
Still, a party with mingling was a lot better than a one on one dinner where we just quietly stared at each other. Among other things, I had plenty of people to entertain so I didn’t have to make him uncomfortable by being solely focused on him.
Short of throwing your own party, how about an activity like bowling where you can turn your focus to the ball and the pins from time to time?
AIMS
What about someone else’s party? I met Mr. AIMS’s whole family at another family member’s party and it was great because with someone else’s birthday to celebrate I wasn’t the focus of all attention.
Anonymous
Farmer’s market or similar where you can stroll together and chat or do “look at that”, “anyone for cake?”?
If you do sit down, have him sit with you facing him, looking to the side for parents. Lots less intense not to be staring somebody in the face.
Curious
+1, my husband met my mom by going for a walk in a touristy area. We ended with lunch, but there had been time to warm up first.
A.
My reply is late, but what about an activity like TopGolf? You don’t even have to like golf to like TopGolf! Or something similar — bowling? Drinks and a local theater show? Whatever gives you the chance to talk but also have something else to focus on/do.
Curious
Bowling is a fabulous way to get to know people in low pressure bits, because every interaction has a forced stop.
Anonymous
Bocce ball?
Seventh Sister
Personally, I would do lunch instead of dinner, with a “hard stop” so no one blows their whole day sitting around (e.g. pre-purchased tickets for a movie). I am really bad at a lot of social, sporty activities (bowling, mini golf) but weirdly good at things like pub quiz. Just pick a place where you think everyone would be comfortable eating.
Anecdata
I have gotten all my jobs through tossing applications into the abyss so there’s definitely hope!
not my job anymore
I assume the answer is to just tell people “no”, but wondering how others handle requests for you to basically do your old job after you’ve been promoted into a new job.
Background: I’ve been with my company for 6+ years across a couple of different teams and roles, with 2 promotions during that time. I came from smaller companies before joining this big company, which is now 5x the size it was when I joined. I have a bunch of different skills because I had to do it all in the past, so I frequently get brought in to advise or demo or whatever when some other team wants to try something that I’ve done before.
I’ve written docs, made demo videos, and tried to delegate these tasks to my direct reports or other more junior folks who should be handling them, but I still can’t shake being known as the “expert” in lots of things. But at this point, I’m NOT the expert anymore! I haven’t actually done these tasks or used this technology or measured these tactics in at least a year, or multiple years in some cases.
We have a very collaborative, help-out-if-asked culture, so I feel bad telling people no. But good grief, you should not be paying someone my salary for these tasks. And I can’t do my actual job if I keep having to re-direct requests or cover for someone when there’s a vacation or re-documenting this or that! I think the frustration is that since I have lots of institutional knowledge as well, it’s much harder to fully extract myself from these requests because so many people tell their teammates to come ask me about [insert whatever thing I helped them with 2 years ago so I’m The Person Who Knows].
MagicUnicorn
Stop remembering how to do these tasks, and if figuring them out is not part of your current job, don’t continue to do that work for others. You can still be collaborative by guiding the people currently in these roles to find their own solutions. “It’s been so long, my memory is fuzzy about the steps these days… How much does the instruction manual have to say about this problem? What results did you get from following the troubleshooting guide? What did an internet search turn up for this issue? Hmm, well. Nothing else comes to mind for me, but I wish you good luck solving this!”
Anonymous
+1 this is the way. When I suspect this is weaponized incompetence (the 5th time someone asks me to help them with something that’s simple and or documented), I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of “Gosh I don’t remember. Have you tried asking your boss?”
Anon
What are your favorite liquid meals and snacks / really soft foods? I broke a tooth and have to get an implant and my surgeon told me I’ll be on a mainly liquid diet for up to two weeks as the area heals, with gradual introduction of soft foods. I don’t have dietary restrictions and love all kinds of foods so I’d like to try and make this enjoyable by testing out new recipes. I almost never make soups or smoothies or oatmeal so I don’t have a rotation ready. Recipes or ideas would be greatly appreciated! I work from home half the time so have access to a full kitchen for most meals and I have a blender.
JD
Congee is my go-to after gum grafting surgery. You basically just cook rice with a lot of liquid until it completely breaks down and forms a thick soup. Then you can season with whatever you like: soy sauce, sesame oil, peanut butter. I also roast squash and sweet potatoes until they’re completely soft, mash them and add some kind of liquid to make them very soft so that I can stir them into the congee. There are tons of recipes online, including slow cooker. I also like chia seed pudding (add chia seeds to coconut milk, let sit until it thickens) and just about any vegetable soup. Also: invest in an immersion blender.
AIMS
Soups – tomato, broccoli cheddar, butternut squash, baked potato… NYT has great recipes.
Mashed potatoes, mashed butternut squash with cayennes or spicy seasoning of choice, shakshuka, omelettes, soft boiled eggs… for snack or quick breakfast, I love to just slice an avocado in half, sprinkle with sea salt or everything bagel salt (may want to avoid seeds though if you have an open wound) & eat with a spoon.
You can put anything in your smoothies but I really like frozen berries (ypu can get a huge mix at Costco or Whole Foods) and bananas for something sweet, and with some dark mixed greens thrown in for extra nutrition.
Anonymous
Rice pudding with cream,butter and cinnamon.
Greek yogurt with olive oil for savoury, and maybe some berry puree for sweet.
Indian saag curry (spinach/kale), maybe try silken tofu as a soft protein? Stick blend the sauce.
Butternut squash soup with chili and cumin.
Coconut turmeric dahl.
Butterbean and roasted cauliflower soup.
Maybe some really good stock and bonebroth if you eat meat, that will help since meat is more difficult to blend successfully. That said – an excellent time for liver pate and soft meatloaf… chicken mousse…?
Anon
I’m all about soups like vichyssoise, chilled blended vegetarian borscht served with sour cream, and avgolemono.
Anonymous
I have a tentative job offer that’s 1099 (so I would pay my own taxes). I’ve only worked W2 before. The HR rep asked me to get her my rate by Monday, so I’m trying to figure that out. My w2 rate is $55/hr. Any tips or resources I could use to calculate this?
Anonymous
Online calculators. Think about whether it’s regular work, weekend and nights, unpredictable, etc.
Tax wise your business expenses are the most important, and that you can afford quarterly estimated tax.
Anon
Triple that number – a third for taxes, a third for benefits and a third salary.
Anon
I think that’s not right because W2 employees pay taxes too, just lower ones. And $55/hr is ~$115k/year. Benefits don’t cost anywhere near that much! I mean yeah if you want a huge raise you can ask for $165/hr but it’s not equivalent at all.
Anon
Add 30% for benefits and 7% for employer’s side of taxes.
nuqotw
At least 110; I would say closer to 165. It’s not just that you are paying your own taxes and benefits. It’s that you are taking on risk that is otherwise borne by a W2 employer. No work for a contractor? They can lay you off without you being eligible for unemployment or COBRA or anything. Also you are presumably billing by the hour now – billing 8 hours is very different from being at work 8 hours.
Anon
Also providing your own equipment and supplies, paying for any continuing education, in addition to fringes like PTO, health insurance, retirement contribution, etc.
lz5
I’m an attorney and recently moved into a GC role at a university where I can take classes for free. Toying with getting an MBA. School is not particularly competitive, definitely a much less prestige fit than my undergrad or law school but thinking it might be interesting and could prove useful. There are options for concentrations, the three that sound most interesting to me are management, marketing, or institutional leadership. Any thoughts on if any of these could prove useful to an attorney with an inhouse/ GC focus? I’m 47 years old so unlikely to pivot in a completely new and different direction at this point.