Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Oooh: this camisole with tortoiseshell details looks perfect — I could see it with jeans or flares for a date night, and the matching brown pants for a brunch or daytime gathering. Love those tortoiseshell resin beaded embellishments, and this is one of the rare times I like the cutout.
It's also nice that the straps are adjustable and have a crisscross back.
The top is $220, available in XS-XL, at Amazon, Shopbop, Revolve, and Cami NYC.
(Note that Shopbop is offering 25% off sale items (so, not including the pictured item) — tons of really cute bags, dresses, and summer going out tops, with great options from brands like L'Agence, Loeffler Randall, Veronica Beard, RAILS, and many more.)
(Cami NYC also has a lot of great sale items, including some of the silk ombre dresses and camisoles readers have been sharing in comments. Also from the brand: this beautiful silk rainbow top, at Premium Outlets.)
Happy weekend!
Psst: I just updated the sale widget below – TONS of noteworthy sales happening right now at Everlane, The Fold (!), MM.LaFleur, Reiss (!), Shopbop, Soma, and Victoria's Secret.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
Help me out, please. I am retiring in less than three months and would like to give my longtime assistant a special gift. We have been together, on and off, since I started this job 18 years ago, most recently together for the past 11ish years. I was thinking of a photo of the two of us in an engraved frame — would that be dumb? (It’d be smallish, say 5 x 7.) Beyond that, I would also like to give an actual gift. I feel like cash is super inappropriate, but maybe a gift card to Nordstrom or similar? She is in her 50s, likes fashion and jewelry, is unmarried but in a relationship, not a homeowner, travels but not far or often. We don’t really socialize but she was a guest at my wedding and at some of my big parties over the years. Budget is in the $500 range but I’m not sure enough of her taste to buy an expensive piece of clothing or jewelry or even a bag. But… maybe something returnable? What say you?
What a lovely thought! I think that the photo and frame would be a nice gift.
I think a gift card to Nordstrom or similar would be very nice. As far as a material gift, the bags from Polene are something that I personally think are fabulous. Another option would be to get her a generous Spa gift card and gift her a Spa day.
Do you have the ability to give her a spa day and facilitate a day off for her to take it before you retire (off the books or without otherwise using vacation time)? That would be an incredible gift – not just the gift itself but the ability to take it without having to rearrange life for it.
A nice bag with a very conspicuous receipt might be a good way to essentially give a gift card without it being “just” a gift card.
+1 My immediate thought was a nice bag (receipt included). If I received this from a work colleague with whom I had a long-term relationship, I would think of them fondly whenever I used it.
PS: Congrats on your retirement! I have been MIA for several months, so this is the first I am seeing this. So happy for you!
I don’t know about an engraved frame. That seems too “remember me!” as opposed to “thanking you for all your support over the years.” This is the case for a beautiful card, I think, plus a gift that’s unrelated to you.
Maybe an upscale version of the tote she carries now (so you know it’s the size, structure (e.g., backpack vs tote), and color she likes?), plus an obvious gift receipt?
Agree with all this. I would feel so weird if a boss gave me a framed photo of us, especially since you’re not close.
+2 I like my boss a lot, but I don’t want a picture of us when she leaves!
If Senior Attorney has a photo of the two of them from the Wayback Machine, I think a copy of that inserted in the card, or using that to customize a card, could be a fun idea. I concur that the framed photo misses the mark.
+3
Unless you’re a person who people regularly would brag about knowing (president handshake photo style), I think it would be less weird for her to give you a framed photo.
I think cash or an equivalent would be great, along with a heartfelt note of appreciation and wishes for her to buy herself something lovely from you. If you want to give a photo, I’d put it together with a note, and leave it up to her to choose what to do with the photo.
If you want to make a framed one, make two copies and frame one for yourself to keep in your home office, and tell her you are keeping it there as a memento.
Agree with this take on the photo. I almost always opt for cash, or maybe a GC (but that requires knowing their taste, though it sounds like in this case maybe you do), and get at the sentimental part with meaningful handwritten card.
+4, although I do like the idea of putting a wallet-sized photo in a card. It’s just the frame the feels over the top to me, because that implies the recipient should display it, which they may not want to do.
I agree with this take, which put my background thoughts into words – engraved frame feels like “you must display this forever” but cute photo in a card, 100% good.
I think after 18 years, the dynamic is different though. I think it would be totally nice and appropriate to give her a framed photo of the two of you (especially since you are also giving her a larger gift), but I might skip the engraving in case she wants to replace the photo. :)
As for the larger gift, I think a Nordstrom gift card or a gift card to a local spa would be well received. I also think a previous poster’s suggestion of a nice bag with an obvious gift receipt would be a great option.
Congratulations on your retirement!
+1 to all of this!
Agreed, 18 years changes things. If you like each other, then you’ve been together about half of your working lives. I think a picture is fine and also shows her that you value her enough to have pictures of her.
Congratulations on retiring!
Congrats!!
Low Stakes: anyone have an Apple Watch band they like? I’ve been rolling with the ‘standard’ default band that comes with it and it’s starting to get discolored.
I wear my Apple Watch daily and particularly like it for step tracking/exercise tracking. Ideally, it’ll be good for workouts and unobtrusive enough that I can wear it in business casual settings.
I switch my bands up with each season; just spent a ton of time on Etsy for some reason looking for exotic leather ones (no purchase yet pending research on the ethics). There are handpainted ones, boho ones, and more. I’d swap them out for a silicone one if we were taking a water-heavy vacation, but for every day faux leather is fine.
I got one of the knockoff Gucci ones last year and really like it (theory being the person buys old bags and cuts them up to make watch straps; I don’t know enough about Gucci to gauge whether mine was even close to authentic or not.) Poshmark has a lot of those now too.
Solo braided loop
I have the leather link Apple brand band and like it. I wear it to work out (not as often as I should), for yardwork, and at the office. I do rinse it off after anything noticeably dirty, about once a week, and the leather has held up just fine. Mine is the midnight blue color and it doesn’t really show any wear 18 months in.
I needed something adjustable in size and like the magnet closure on this one.
I like my stretchy woven band from Apple, it looks like it was made from natural fibers, so it’s inconspicuous for work, but it has held up well to lots of hiking.
LOVE my Machete tortoiseshell apple watch band. I’ve had it since December and it looks brand new despite me being clumsy and bumping it against things constantly. I do wear it to work out (rock climbing, lifting, running) even though it’s a little more on the “formal” side. I get compliments on it constantly.
Has anyone here been to Oman? I would be traveling solo, but am thinking for the first time about doing a group tour for at least portions of it. I have traveled solo to most continents but have not spent time in the Middle East, so I don’t know what I don’t know about any specific travel complications. I also don’t know how easy it is to get around without appropriate language skills if I am not in a group. Thoughts?
I lived in Oman for two years and can’t recommend it highly enough. Everyone speaks English and it’s completely safe, but I’d still recommend a tour so that you can do everything you want to without worrying about how to get there or having to drive. I think both G Adventures and Intrepid Travel have Oman tours (I’ve used both companies before for travel as a solo female). There are also local tour companies in Oman that will take you out to the desert for camping/adventures. Or rent a car and do your own thing, although drivers over there can be a little more aggressive than you might be used to.
Awesome, thank you. I am usually a city girl so doing logistics across a number of different areas may be more than I want to do. So happy to hear you speak highly of it — off to research more tour groups!
About 5 years ago, as a solo traveler, I went to Oman with Martina Randall Tours and it was a truly memorable trip. I dream about repeating it but there are so many other places I also want to visit.
Fun Friday afternoon reading for fans of Bridgerton and Jane Austen and such – check out the female fashion advice subreddit. The top pinned post will give you an idea of what’s going on there.
Ugh, I hate what all those subs are doing in protest. I’m just unsubscribing to all of them that are turning into memes or whatever. I truly don’t care about all the moderator drama. People are getting so worked up about the stupid free website not doing exactly what they want.
Same here. I also don’t quite understand how the jokey posts are protesting. The rarepuppers forum, which I used to LOVE, now mandates you put “John Oliver” in the subject line. There are still lots of posts of cute dogs, so I’m not sure how putting specific words in the subject line advocates for people with disabilities who want to use third party apps (the ostensible reason for protesting).
Same. At this point it feels like some kind of mods vs. corp fight and some mods are digging in just because they can/don’t have anything better to do with their time, and I don’t care, sorry.
I think Reddit could have handled the issues around charging for API access better, but at the same time, regarding the app companies – building a business around something you’re getting for free, and expecting that it will always be free and that no one will ever notice or care that you’re making money off of something they’re giving away, is a bad plan. As a casual user of Reddit who never used any third-party apps to browse the site, I don’t care about the protest. And I also don’t think it is working or will work. The longer some of these subs engage in nonsense, the more likely it is that someone will start an alternative sub for the same topic, that one will catch on, and in a year everyone will have just migrated to the new space. Some Redditors really overestimate how invested the average Redditor is in the site.
Omg this is funny
I saw this on Twitter today. So funny.
Just a quick thanks to this group! I was the poster who was trying to find a luxury navy leather work tote for my birthday gift and several of you gently told me I couldn’t find it for a reason. I went with one of the suggestions of looking for a gray bag and ended up with one from Mulberry, also recommended here. I love it! It makes all of my outfits look much more sophisticated.
Wait, what’s wrong with navy leather?
Ha, I had the same thought! I have a navy leather work tote . . .
I love my navy leather bag from Paris! But OP, I’m really glad you found a bag you love.
I think the issue was that I mentioned I am wearing a lot of navy shoes and clothes and so it was too much navy? After comparing some outfits side by side the different color bag really did make a big difference in my overall look. I will still continue to look for a replacement for my old navy tote as it was a workhorse.
I love my Navy Cuyana bag.
They don’t make navy anymore. My old navy bag that needs replacing is Cuyana. The leather they used is not holding up well and looks really lumpy and old. It also has some white coating coming off. I had been happy with it up until now but I don’t think it is made for the long haul (pun intended). I take really good care of my things so it wasn’t an abuse issue.
Huh, I’ve been carrying my navy leather Cuyana tote almost every day for 5 years and it’s held up remarkably well.
Gray sounds perfect then!
Cuyana, Doony & Bourke, Lo & Sons, Coach, Fossil, Kate Spade, Saint Laurent, and Jimmy Choo all make nice Navy Leather tote/laptop bags. I disagree that they are no longer available. Clearly they have some demand if so many brands continue to make them.
I have a dove gray work bag and it goes with everything. I love it! I bet your Mulberry bag looks very smart against navy.
Paging the posters who were looking for DC travel tips with preteen kids a couple months ago (I think there were at least 2 or 3?) – would love to hear an update from you if you’re willing share what you and the kids like, what they didn’t like about DC! And if you found any of the hive’s suggestions useful or other sources were better.
Oh, a +1 to this request, DC is next on our list of family vacation spots but I’d appreciate recent advice of what went well/what was boring for tweens/teens.
Thank you all so much for the advice on DC! We had a wonderful time, seeing the monuments at twilight/dusk, it was stunning and more moving than when we saw them in the morning. Also fun to do in the early evening is the Library of Congress- and then going out for a late night dessert. Added bonus to the twilight/dusk outings is that it was a lot less hot for walking around…Very well lit and plenty of people around- felt very safe. International Spy Museum was super fun for the 11 year old- less so for the older. The White House tour and the Capitol tour require advance planning but both kids absolutely loved both- have the kids ask
lots of questions at the White House, everyone there is extremely knowledgeable and will share all sorts of stories…
The pandas at the National Zoo were also a hit- we hadn’t been to a zoo as a family in a very long time so it was a fun throw back.
National Air and Space Museum is great if your kids are into space, if not, I’d skip it for the Natural History Museum.
Have a wonderful time!
We always have outfit of the day threads… let’s have one for the weekend too. What are you wearing, and where?
Tonight: parents coming to dinner. Black ripped jeans, black tee with lace details.
Tomorrow: probably workout clothes until it’s time to get ready for date night – looks like it’s going to be cold and rainy. This probably means dark blue jeans and a green and white smocked/puff sleeve top I got, but maybe I’ll pull out my beige suede OTK boots with a dress.
Sunday: PJs probably, ha.
Right now I’m in workout clothes but we’re going to a wedding this evening so,
Tan and black patterned dress from Ralph Lauren, a natural colored/ beigey tan short jacket type thingy for shoulder coverage, and I’m bringing a camel colored wrap because it’s chilly. Black low heeled sling backs, stone clutch from Cuyana.
I’m wearing a t-shirt and underwear, lol. Working (well “working”) from my bed currently. It’s going to be HOT here this weekend, so I plan to spend it mostly in a bathing suit.
My weekend attire consists of either riding clothes, workout clothes, or gardening clothes (actual gardening, people!). We’re going to a movie, so I suppose I’ll have to shower and throw on real world clothes, which will probably be jeans and a tshirt, because movie theaters are dark, so who cares (and overly air conditioned, hence jeans when it’s 90 degrees outside)
black Spanx pants fit and flare pants, black silk t, black two strap dolce vita sandals and a hot pink oversized Good American blazer.
Charity wine auction Saturday: black strapless jumpsuit, nude chunky sandals and a silver and turquoise necklace.
Traveling Broadway series 1776 on Sunday: white jcrew jeans with a hot pink and orange THML puff sleeve blouse and tan wedges.
Workout gear in between.
Will your parents asked if you made the rips in your jeans on purpose? :)
It’s going to be hot AF this weekend so when I’m home I’ll be wearing as little as possible. The city Pride festival is tomorrow but I don’t have anything fun, so I’ll just be wearing a shorts and a tank top.
Play at small theatre company with a friend tonight: black and ivory patterned maxi dress from Zara, black suede heeled-sandals by Lucky Brand
Low-key first date anniversary dinner at casual restaurant on the lake in the exurb where BF lives: Rails Genesis dress, same sandals
Sunday gardening: Soma panties
Cream alpaca poncho, bronze-brown corduroy midi skirt, flat brown knee high boots.
Thermal jeggings in black, anthracite (almost black) cashmere pumper, pink buffalo check shacket and dark grey leather boots with sheepskin lining.
Mid winter festival this week and there will undoubtedly be a puffer jacket and possum wool beanie involved.
I melted just reading this.
I’m in the Bay Area and I could wear this today.
Are you in Australia?
What does possum wool feel like?
Today: Black t-shirt, black J. Crew going-out blazer, straight leg levi’s, my favorite Jambu platform sandals in dark gray (I might have three other colors) and bright red lipstick to look alive on the long zoom I just finished
Tonight, for a movie with friends and drinks at my house: same, but losing the blazer, adding a beaded shawl in shades of pink for the cold theater and maybe changing to some more fun earrings than the plain silver hoops I have on now.
Tomorrow, for my town’s pride celebration: black tank dress, chucks or keens, an extremely dramatic black floppy hat and a rainbow fan for the heat.
Sunday: Can I just stay in my nightshirt all day?
Going to a casual party with a bunch of artists and musicians at a friend’s loft in Brooklyn tonight. Looking at the weather I think I’m going with black linen pants, black tank top, and silver low-top chucks, but if the rain clears, maybe red chunky slide sandals.
Also going to a cheesemonger competition on Sunday to cheer on a friend. Not sure what I’m wearing, but I’m not wearing anything with a constricting waist!
Please tell me more about a cheesemonger competition. Like what are they being judged on? Who brings the best cheese? Sells the most cheese? Inquiring cheese lovers want to know.
I honestly have no clue, but will report back’
Chilling at home Friday: TNA leggings, t shirt, rainbow socks
Saturday: plans unclear, probably errands, black pants, lime green top, reebok sneakers
Dinner Sunday: Broderie Anglaise white top, white wide leg pants, tan block heels
Anon for this – if this was your marriage how would you handle?
DH is Korean Am, I am Indian Am, all of our parents came here in the 70s. We met in residency, dated for a LONG time, and had a ton in common in terms of shared values. We talked a lot about how we’d raise our own kids and both agreed that we wanted our kids to appreciate our cultures, celebrate our holidays, speak some language if they could, but ultimately we wanted them to be American. DH and I grew up in homes where the response to basically anything we said was – well in Korea or India, they do it THIS way. Our parents were very much back in their home countries in their minds and they did not want us assimilating too much, didn’t let us hang out with American friends, and everything in THEIR countries was better than here. DH and I were in agreement we would NOT do this with our own kids.
Fast forward we have 3 kids – ages 3, 6, 8. DH is obsessed with them being entirely Korean. He’s a hands on dad, so we’re talking – cooking Korean dinners 5 nights a week, speaking Korean all the time even if I’m left out I’m not fluent, we’ve been to Korea 3 times in a year. And no there are no grandparents to visit there, they live in Ca. When we’re in Korea it’s malls, museums, restaurant to restaurant, sending kids to day camp, and visiting all sorts of distant friends of friends of old family members. He even joined the PTA to meet other parents, and you guessed it – only Korean Am ones and those people are now are family friends with whom we have plans all the time, and when the kids play of course they don’t speak English, only talk about k pop etc.
It’s getting to be WAY too much for me. Korea is a wonderful country and yet I’m not interested in taking 12 hour flights, 3 times a year. Yet if I say let’s take another vacation – oh that’s ok I’ll take the kids by myself. Straw that broke the camel’s back for me was 6 year old DS’s eyes got bad this year, an optho prescribed glasses. DH who takes the leads with dr things because he is a practicing dr, while I’m a scientist, basically said – fine but I’ve made an appointment for the top pediatric optho in Seoul, they are doing wonders with kid contacts that improve the eyes. Call me crazy but this 6 year old is not responsible enough for contacts plus I strongly believe the kids’ doctors should be on this side of the Pacific.
It suddenly struck me that I feel like I’m living in my parents’ home again – EVERYTHING about Korea is better than everything about America. When I’ve raised this gently he brushes it off and says – oh they love Indian stuff too, feel free to teach them more. Sure they eat Indian food a few times a month, they celebrate the holidays, they love their grandparents, they’ve been to India once for my cousin’s wedding – and I think that’s enough. I really don’t want them growing up as othered as we were – I want them running around eating pizza and joining the track team even if no other Korean Americans are on it. He kind of laughs it off like oh they’re only agreeing to this because they’re young, by high school they’ll do whatever they want and I support that. But I wonder if they will do what they want.
It’s hard to say in the abstract, but I think I’d try to follow the kids’ lead. If the kids are happy going to Korea 3x year, let him take them! (definitely don’t feel the need to go that much yourself though). Although by 6 and 8 I would think this much travel and focus on Korean culture is likely to be interfering with friends and other activities, and if the kids are unhappy about it I would be much more inclined to push back.
The main thing that sounds like too much is the travel. (Who wouldn’t want dinners made 5x/wk and an engaged PTA dad?) Instead of just asking not to go, and getting stuck in the position of saying no, can you advocate for doing something else instead? Go to great American national parks, or Disney, or Hawaii.
“Who wouldn’t want dinners made 5x/wk and an engaged PTA dad?”
Presumably lots of people if it meant also having your culture erased and being ostracized from your immediate family.
Yea this has absolutely nothing to die you travel or cooking or who takes on more of the parenting duties. This is about her husband trying to essentially erase her culture and make the kids 100% korean American when they surely are not. I would talk to your husband, try counseling but if he was not respecting my culture, that’s a deal breakers for me.
Agree. The help should be given freely without the attached baggage of, and by the way while I am doing this stuff for/with the kids, I will be completely erasing your culture and identity and making sure the kids understand my culture and identity is “best.” This situation would really, really bother me and “getting dinner made 5x a week” wouldn’t salve the irritation in the least.
Wow… just… WOW.
This is a big, big issue, and I feel like you are being incredibly reasonable and patient and I worry it is getting out of hand. I feel like he is rolling down a hill, and it can’t be stopped!
Honestly, I’m not sure what I would recommend, but I hear you, and I would feel upset/frustrated if I were you. I am not sure the best way to try to sit down and calmly discuss this, but a big, big talk is needed.
Part of me was excited and envious when I started reading and hearing about your interesting cultural backgrounds and goals for your kids. Just remember, they are still very young, and as they get older they will make their preferences clear and the trips to Korea will never be so frequent. I don’t know how you manage that…
I’m exhausted just reading about 12 hour flights with 3 young kids. Personally I’d only do one a year under “vacation” since the grandparents aren’t actually in Korea. I would draw a line on this.
It sounds like your husband is interested in his own culture and is just involving the kids in his interest? I would be ok with this as long as the kids aren’t feeling they are being socially pigeonholed into a particular friends group based on race alone. The kids will form social groups based on activity interests as they get older. I wouldn’t stress about this right now. I would be more interested in seeing if your husband can make the kids “Korean pizza” from scratch.
Where I would object is if you feel he is dismissing your concerns and not hearing you, then it’s more of a communication problem.
This is really hard. I’m in an interracial/intercultural relationship, and from what I’ve observed with similar couples, it’s not uncommon to have to navigate these types of power struggles around identity and culture. A few thoughts come to mind for steps you can take:
1) Figure out exactly what’s bothering you here. Journal, process, talk to a therapist or friend. Is it that you want them to be equally Korean Am and Indian Am, but DH’s zealousness is making it impossible to balance? Is it that you feel left out? (I definitely would feel really excluded and disregarded in both the suggesting taking a trip without you and speaking Korean when you’re not fluent examples). Do you feel like DH is not acting as a team and family unit, but more unilaterally imposing his own agenda on things that should be joint decisions? Identify the core of what’s bothering you so that you can articulate it well and address the issue head-on.
2) Once you’ve identified what the core issues are for you, talk to your DH directly in a sit-down meeting. Either on your own or with a couples counsellor. Be very clear about what matters to you and why, and communicate what you want to see instead. Try to make it as specific and concrete, and find solutions in advance to propose. If I were in your shoes, I would want to make sure my opinions and wishes were being respected, and that I was as much a part of the family and team as anyone else. I would want to know that my husband knows going on a family trip without me isn’t an acceptable or appropriate solution to me not wanting to go to Korea. I would want my husband to want me to included in important decisions and to collaboratively discuss how we’d raise our kids.
3) Try seeing a couples’ therapist if DH isn’t responsive in a one-on-one setting. These kids of issues are really important, and making sure you have similar ideas about how to raise your kids is going to be a defining factor in having a happy marriage. It sounds like you had similar boundaries in the beginning, and you just need to course-correct to make sure you’re going to get back on the same page.
Last thing: I feel like there is a bit of a bulldozer effect that your DH is exhibiting. I.e., he likes things his way and isn’t inclined to think about your feelings or needs alongside his own. A couple I know has a similar dynamic (she’s Korean and he’s Indian, but he is constantly dominating decisions in subtle ways, from what culture their wedding was to what to name their kids). The issue there was that she was always more easygoing and he was always more selfish and dominant, and he never had to question that in himself since it worked for her. Once it started being more important decisions, the bulldozer effect started to cause real friction and she started to realize there were ways she wasn’t getting her voice heard. If this has been the way you’ve operated, it may be an adjustment period for him to learn that he needs to listen to you and care about your input. But it’s important!! So make sure you honor yourself and create a safe space for you to be an equal partner and parent.
I agree with all of this. Also, in addition to your culture being left out – and you not being an equal parent here – there should be a focus in these discussions on what is best for your kids. You agreed that you didn’t want them to be “othered” or to be isolated from American friends and classmates, but that seems to be what is happening here – whether the kids are being channeled to be more Korean or to be both Korean and Indian.
And also? Having an eye doctor on the other side of the planet is actually insane. How is this possiby the best thing for a six-year-old?
I think this is a really thorough, helpful post.
The one couple I’ve known who were successful at this are a couple who raised their kids in the wife’s culture as much as possible, and it worked because the husband didn’t have much identity with his own culture. He was happy to assimilate into her culture along with the kids.
But if you strongly identify with your Indian culture, this is outright unfair. Your husband needs to back WAY off and stop making unilateral decisions. He’s treating you as a lesser partner in your relationship and that is not OK.
Concur. The line about “just do Indian things” is wrong and unfair. You all eat 7 dinners a week – if 5 of them are Korean, the most number of Indian dinners you can have is 2. If you take 3 vacations a year to Korea, that might mean a maximum of one vacation a year to India – if even that.
He needs to back way off.
OP here – to be clear I don’t WANT to go to Korea OR India yearly. We have no reason to – all of our family is in Ca where we live or in NY or NJ. Obviously we have to visit that family. Given that we don’t have unlimited vacation time, that means we either visit grandparents in the US or we’re flying off to Korea. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s nice to show the kids Korea and India, maybe even a few times in their childhood – like once while they’re young, once around high school, and maybe once in college. Let them know where they come from and understand it a bit. But otherwise what’s so bad about using our vacation time for the grandparents here and then the rest of it for Hawaii or Disney or New England or wherever??
I mean to me it’s just another form of othering. Growing up my family, and also true of other Indian Am I knew, NEVER went on vacation anywhere but India. Didn’t like it then but as an adult I understand, our grandparents were there, our parents obviously wanted to see their aging parents and for us to know them. But once the time and money was used up on India, yeah you weren’t going to Disney. Legit we got to Disney like after college when I insisted on going – and my parents were retired so vacation time wasn’t an issue.
I think through couples therapy you should be able to find some middle ground between “3x/year” and “once per decade.” When you go to couples therapy I would focus on how DH’s obsession is costing a lot of money, time and energy from your entire family, and is preventing you from creating the diversity of experiences you had agreed upon when you started your interracial family. If all your friends are Korean, meals are Korean, and trips are to Korea, that’s not very diverse. It sounds like you don’t want your kids to do 50% Korean stuff and 50% Indian stuff, you want them to have the space to choose their friends, their food, activities, and identities. I am Indian-American and we did some Indian/Hindu cultural things like celebrate Hindu holidays, go to temple, etc but they never prevented me from doing normal American kid stuff, because we lived in America and that would be silly. We even celebrated holidays like Christmas because they didn’t want us to miss out on those experiences that our friends had. Honestly, it sounds like your DH needs individual therapy, but couples therapy is a good place to start. I’m sorry OP. Let us know how it goes.
I completely hear you, OP. In ping-ponging back and forth to Korea and not getting to do those other types of trips, your kids will be missing out on some fundamental experiences that kids in their school and social groups will likely have had, and it will be “othering” to them. Heck, we went camping a couple of times even though my husband really doesn’t care for it because we wanted our son to have the experience. We went to Legoland even though I really dislike theme parks, etc. We tried to give our kid a wide variety of experiences with vacations – sometimes mountains, sometimes city, sometimes beach, sometimes more kid-focused, sometimes less, etc. I really wanted our son to try different things and do different things to develop his own preferences about where he wants to go and what he likes to do, and that definitely happened.
With this heavy of focus on Korea, I wouldn’t be surprised if there at some point in the near future is a suggestion of “well maybe we should just MOVE to Korea!” and that’s going to get awkward fast.
I don’t have great advice for you, OP, but I absolutely feel like this is an important issue, you are not being heard by your husband, and you need to do something so you don’t keep getting railroaded. This is too important to just let it go. I will just share that when my husband I were at an impasse over something a few years back (I wanted to sell our house and move, and he was stubbornly insisting we didn’t need to, even though our neighborhood had gone WAY downhill and was getting dangerous) we went to couples counseling and being able to communicate in front of a neutral third party who would point out to each of us when we were getting entrenched in our own viewpoint, and when we were being stubborn, was really REALLY helpful. I got my husband to agree to go to counseling because I basically told him that his inability to consider my viewpoint was fundamentally disrespectful to our marriage and I was struggling with why he would want to disrespect me, and the relationship, in that way. Don’t know if that’s helpful or not. Good luck.
+1 that there’s a happy medium between 3x/year and once per decade. Also while I think some of your husband’s behavior sounds very extreme (the eye doctor in Korea is bonkers), I think you are also overreacting about certain things based on your own childhood. Plenty of white kids don’t go to Disney. In many cases because their parents can’t afford it, in other cases (like my family) because the parents think it’s boring and they’d rather take the kids to national parks and Europe. It’s not a trauma for kids to have to vacation where the parents want to vacation, even if it’s not the place a kids would choose.
um, this is bonkers. and apologies, but i literally laughed out loud about the ophthalmologist, because it sounds like something out of my big fat greek wedding, but the korean version – idk what kind of doctor your DH is, btu would he recommend a patient have a doctor halfway around the world? i think you should join the PTA, make some of your own friends and start scheduling things for your family, or at least for your kids that have nothing to do with korea. you guys need to see a couple’s therapist for sure. also, not that you want it to get to this, but he can’t take the kids on a trip out of the country without your permission…
I don’t buy the – oh we’re just doing this now because the kids go along with it, but they’ll be their own people in high school. No they very likely won’t be unless they are very very strong personalities. Kids get comfortable in how they are raised, so yes if all their school friends and outside of school friends are Korean American and they only play Korean games and speak the language, then they’re not going to switch the flip in eighth grade to suddenly start running track with all the other kids at school unless a few of their Korean American buddies are interested. I am Indian American myself and I’ve totally seen this in my extended family. The ones who raised their kids ONLY with Indian family friends every weekend ended up with adults who legit don’t talk to anyone non Indian unless they HAVE TO – so like bosses basically and even that is done with lots of disdain. Why raise kids like this – esp when you and your DH don’t have the fears that our immigrant parents did because you grew up here, went to school here, know this culture.
Unless your DH is truly very naive, he knows this – if he makes them Korean now, they are Korean thru high school, higher chance they get a Korean-Am bf or gf in or after college and settle down with them, then Korean grandkids. IDK to me this doesn’t sound as innocent as people seem to be making it.
DH seems to be competing with you on which culture the kids will identify with more. This kind of competition between spouses is very unhealthy, and DH is deeply insecure. I would start couples counseling ASAP.
This is one of the instances where I would agree with the counseling advice.
I think you can absolutely pick your battles – maybe Korean dinners, if he’s cooking, can stay (you cook, you choose). But the rest of it seems like it’s getting out of hand. 3 huge international trips to visit no one; only picking Korean friends; the ophthalmologist in Seoul!
I think people sometimes revert to patterns they knew as children and maybe he is just replicating how he grew up but you need to figure out a compromise that works for you both. I also don’t think it’s fair to tell you to just do more “Indian things” because that’s not your issue. You want the kids to be more “american” and that has nothing to do with it. I do think that probably he is right and all this will be a moot point come high school and college (literally the case with all my friends no matter how hard their parents tried) but you shouldn’t put up with this for the next 10 years if you’re not on board and his not taking your concerns seriously is the real issue.
Don’t have much to add as I’m an Indian-Am married to another Indian-Am, but I will say I HAVE seen people who marry outside of Asian culture who then become SUPER obsessed about their culture, how it’s better than whatever they’ve married, and having their kids identify with THEIR culture. To the point where I’m always left scratching my head saying, well if Indian culture was SO important to you, why did you marry out?? I know people who’ve married non Indian and then OMG their kid is in every traditional Indian classical dance you can find, they only speak Hindi with their kids, every word out of their mouth is – well Indians, do it this way, they not so subtly let their kids know that they REALLY like their besties who are Indian but not the other friends who are American. Much like what your DH is doing. So while I don’t have a solution, yes I have seen this happen.
I know someone who was adamant to marry someone of the same background expressly because he said he didn’t want to start caring about his culture and if he married out he felt he would have to actually try to instill it in his kids, which he didn’t want to do. I remember I thought it was odd at the time but I guess at least he knew himself well enough to know what he felt about this?
I’m Jewish and two of my closest friends are different Asian-American ethnicities and although we all dated around when we were young, we all ended up marrying someone from the same culture, and I think this was a big factor for all of us. I don’t really want to be *that* Jewish but also didn’t want my kids to lose their identity as Jews, which happens so easily in interfaith families. Race/ethnicity is not quite the same as religion, but there are certainly parallels.
My foot would be down HARD at your kid having a doctor on the other side of the ocean and at taking that doctor’s recommendations in any way. I’m sure it’s a wonderful institution where DH intends to take DS. Yet sometimes there are problems. Kids get glasses or contacts or drops and after a week or two have headaches or whatever. But that time you are back in the US and are explaining to a US dr what a dr in another country did. Nope. No way. Especially for something like contacts which is going inside the eye – they are made and prescribed differently in different countries. This is NOT the same thing as you happen to be on vacation, problem develops, kid needs to see local dr, and then your US dr sorts it out after you return because there was no choice. This is planning something that needs follow ups an ocean away? No chance.
Also it makes me wonder what is going on with the dad here. Is he working through (poorly) some existential identity issues? It’s just really hard to believe that someone who appears to have had the markers of being a reasonable intelligent person is behaving this way.
Exactly. No matter what kind of doctor DH is, you KNOW he would never tell any patient that it’s better to have care across the ocean rather than 20 minutes from home. I mean this isn’t the case of an uninsured person who genuinely cannot afford care in the US. But it IS ok for his own kid to have care in another country because Korea just does glasses or contacts better? Come on. There’s some identity issues going on with him.
Our kid sees an orthokeratology specialist in the SF Bay Area that we like. The specialty seems uncommon but not something super hard to master or that requires world class doctors. If your DH is thinking of the same treatment my kid gets, it requires multiple follow-up exams (ie, the morning after the first use, a week later, a month later, three months later). Lastly, six seems too young even for a very mature and responsible one. They are uncomfortable at first, and you have to remove them with a tiny plunger and then keep them clean. They are also $$$$ plus more doctor visits if they get lost or damaged.
What kind of marriage is it when you can’t say “no we aren’t going to Korea again this year”? I’m scared for you. This man is going to move to Korea and steal your kids and a judge will let him because he’s made so much of their life Korean. Start setting firm boundaries immediately, make sure you control their passports, and talk to a top quality divorce attorney with experience in international parent abduction.
This is where my head immediately went, too. I find it alarming. It’s setting a precedent that 1. he’s the primary parent (because you’ve ceded SO much of this stuff to him) and 2. he’s Korean, your kids are Korean, so OF COURSE the next logical step is to move to Korea.
Have you talked candidly about this, OP? You need to. Now.
Did you discuss any of this before you married or had kids? Can you revisit any prior agreements you had? This is so bonkers to me, I have a hard time seeing how this just happens.
Umm. Thanks for your participation but reading the OP is usually the baseline for responding
So this is only tangentially relevant to you, but I am half Indian American and half black american. Now my parents got divorced when I was young in part because they couldn’t figure out issues like this, but they are also both disasters in terms of relationships so I wouldn’t read too much into that. in my experience, establishing and being comfortable in your own identity is such a challenging thing to do as a biracial person, and parents play a big role in helping kids understand and build their own identity. My parents are both weird about their identities in their own ways and I think both of them see me as just indian and just black respectively. It’s a really weird dynamic and now in my 30s and I working to figure it out on my own. I mentioned to my dad the other day that I’m actually not just indian I’m black too, and he told me he had not thought of it that way before, which is baffling to me.
All of this to say for your kids sake (not just yours) pls talk to him and do counseling because this is insane and is not good for your kids. To say nothing of the fact that your experience as you tell it sounds super lonely and that’s not fair either.
Thanks for sharing this.
I dated a man in my early 30’s who was from a complex different background, both racially and religion. We always agreed that neither culture would overshadow the other. I believe him. Thank god I put my foot down and spoke up about my preferences and he ended things because it was never about neither culture overshadowing the other. What he meant was your culture will never overshadow mine. I truly dodged a bullet there.
I have not yet read all of the responses here, but I do find it interesting that many of the case moments gloss over the fact that you and your husband agreed the kids would be raised as Americans. Yes, for sure, the erasure of your Indian culture is an issue, but no one seems to be touching on your (seemingly mutual) desire for the children to also experience their lives as belonging Americans.
I’m Korean-American and agree your husband is being extreme, and I think you are right to push back. I wonder if his focus on Korean culture is him making up for lost time. I grew up similar to you and him where the elders would say Korean things are all great and I should practice speaking Korean because it will be an asset one day. This was long before k-pop, Parasite, Squid Game, k-beauty, etc. and I rolled my eyes hard and actively ignored my heritage and lost my language abilities. Turns out the elders were on to something because there were a couple times in my career when speaking Korean would have been good for my career. In recent years, I have enjoyed consuming more Korean culture and being proud of my heritage because I missed out on it when I was younger. Also, I kind of disagree with the commenters who say having Korean friends now makes it likely your friends will have mostly Korean friends later. My kids are older than yours, and they both had big shifts in friend groups in middle school and stopped being friends with the kids of my friends. And of course, when I was a kid, I rebelled against my parents and the friend choices they wanted me to make. It’s not unreasonable to me that your husband would genuinely believe what he’s saying.
I would be irritated also. But I think knowing Korean and whatever Indian language is your mother tongue is also valuable. You can integrate without losing your own culture.
Hallo! I am nearing the end of a second IVF cycle that is full of ups and downs. It’s a lot of waiting around (and shots, although decidedly not the fun kind) and I’d like something mindless to binge watch post my egg retrieval when I’m still in the medication haze (plus keep my mind off of the emotional rollercoaster of IVF). Any good recommendations? What is everyone watching these days?
English show called Ghosts!
The American version is also fantastic.
Star Trek Strange New Worlds
The Bear
Both of those have new seasons that started this week (and The Bear dropped all at once so you can binge it).
Good luck to you!
+1 on Strange New Worlds. Highly underrated, and not hyped enough. Not to spoil anything, but I’d steer clear of Picard for this binge as it is a bit of an emotional roller coaster. In a similar nerdy vein, all of the old seasons of Mythbusters are on Max now… and are oddly soothing (at least for me).
These are some fun, lighthearted shows:
Ted Lasso
The Good Place
Schitt’s Creek
Derry Girls and What We Do in the Shadows. CAVEAT – I don’t know if egg retrieval makes your abs sore, in which case steer clear bc these shows will make you laugh.
The Diplomat, Call My Agent, Jury Duty
Never Have I Ever!
You could have just asked for binge watch recs. No need for the backstory.
Rude! And the backstory is relevant because she presumably doesn’t want anything that includes infertility or pregnancy loss as a major plot point, which many shows do.
You’re being unnecessarily rude. If you’re not interested in a comment then just keep scrolling.
Oh fuck off.
Please find another community, then, where you won’t have to have your precious, delicate eyes sullied with words that offend them (oh, the horror!) and we won’t have to put up with your rudeness. Please.
Just to be clear, you’re the problem, not IVF. Go back under your rock.
Jury duty is wonderful.
It’s hard to say in the abstract, but I think I’d try to follow the kids’ lead. If the kids are happy going to Korea 3x year, let him take them! (definitely don’t feel the need to go that much yourself though). Although by 6 and 8 I would think this much travel and focus on Korean culture is likely to be interfering with friends and other activities, and if the kids are unhappy about it I would be much more inclined to push back.
I think this is terrible advice. The kids are way too young for this. Of course they’re going to go with the thing their father is telling them is the most important! If he started behaving like this when they were teenagers, then you could reasonably let them take the lead. But he’s basically instilling in them that Korea and Korean culture is better and more important than anything else.
If the kids are happy to go to Korea 3x/year with dad, I really don’t see any harm in it (assuming it’s not severely impacting the family finances, which doesn’t sound like is the case). The mom doesn’t have to go, and can take the kids on other non-Korea vacations. On the rest of it, I agree more compromise is warranted.
Not sure I agree. It probably depends on the kid, but there are plenty of strong-willed kids who assert opinions way, way before the teen years. We tried to make my 5 year old go to (Jewish) Sunday school and she hated it and basically refused to go, we had to drag her literally kicking and screaming into the car for months before giving up and letting her quit. We live in a college town so we have a lot of friends from foreign countries who send preschool and elementary age children to Chinese/Russian/Vietnamese language school on weekends, and in many cases the kids HATE IT and complain bitterly about it to their parents and friends. So yeah… perhaps not universal, but there are plenty of kids as young as 6 (or younger!) who won’t just go along with whatever the parents want them to do culturally.
In addition to couples therapy and more discussion, I think she needs to do some planning and marketing. If 2023 is booked, start talking to the kids (and also your husband) about 2024. Hey kids, would you want to go to Hawaii? Disney World? Great Wolf Lodge? Show them some Youtube videos. I guarantee you can drum up excitement for an alternate vacation in 10 minutes. You’ll need to plan it, but that’s part of partnering.
What do you expect from dry cleaning? I am a sweaty mess in the summers, and it seems like dry cleaning my suit jackets is doing nothing. They come back smelling bad and with sweat stains. I’ve tried multiple dry cleaners. Should I just give up on trying to get these jackets clean?
Wear different clothes under them to protect them from getting sweaty.
Are you wearing polyester? If so, they are likely permanently stinky, and should be replaced with picks with more natural fibers.
Heading to Europe next week, and would like to buy both stylish, flat sandals, and heeled sandals. Preferably a brand available on Zappos. Ideally a tan or neutral. Any sandals that you guys have worn and adore (and are comfortable enough for European cobblestoned streets)?
I’m heading to Italy next month and I’ve ordered several pairs of Eccos to try based on the rave reviews from people who have walked miles on cobblestone streets. I got a pair today and I’ve reordered because they are too large but they are promising. They have a bit of a platform so they give you a lift. I don’t know that they are that stylish but they aren’t awful.
Personally I don’t think it’s wise to buy new shoes for a trip. You will likely be walking a lot more than normal and this is a recipe for blisters and discomfort. Just bring some shoes you’ve broken in already.
Gentle Souls. Worm all around Italy and France with no issues!
Ha. I just said this before reading your response.
I wore a pair of Gentle Souls all over Italy and they were great. I don’t have a problem with shoes falling off but liked that these had an ankle strap. very soft leather and footbed so no breaking in necessary and safe for cobblestones. I found these to be cute enough that I did not bother with heeled anything, but I was just with family, no major dress ups
Take it from someone who used to live in the center of Prague for 10y: flats are your friend. I love Geox and Ecco ballerinas and loafers, low-but-wide-heeled sandals. You need not only shoes that will not get stuck between uneven cobblestones, but that also provide a bit of cushioning. Schlepping for 15km+ around cities in summer is hard on feet. If your shoes have straps, make sure the straps are soft and you are able to loosen them up. Soft suede or leather would be my go-to. My feet always swell in summer, so I also keep a mix of Compeed blister heels in a small pouch with me. Oh, and I also put some thin real-leather insoles in my closed shoes. Once they are dirty or sweaty (i wear most shoes barefoot), I replace them for a new pair.
I’m in NYC but swear by Birkenstocks for my summer city walking.
If you lived on the east coast and had the ability to plan a last minute trip — late July, about a week, where would you go? I know very a lot of very popular summer places will be booked, but hoping we can find something given my flexibility. Torn on doing a city in Europe that’s doable in a week (and which one if so) and staying stateside, or even heading somewhere pretty and sitting by a lake. I haven’t traveled much in Europe — only been to the UK, Paris, Copenhagen, and Rome. TIA for any inspiration!
Iceland! That’s my answer for just about everything.
gonna be nigh impossible to find lodging in Iceland if she’s only looking now. maybe in Reykjavik for inflated prices or hostels, but when I was booking my June trip to Iceland in April, there were barely any lodgings around the Golden Circle or South Coast. Rental car prices were also starting to get out of control.
sorry, I wouldn’t recommend Iceland unless you had at least three months in advance to prep or have money to burn.
Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Iceland or the Azores. I don’t like hot weather though, YMMV.
If you can find a pretty lake place that’s not thousands of dollars, I’d probably do that for convenience and cost savings.
BUT- faced with spending $5k+ for a week in a subpar Airbnb on a lake in VT or NH, my family opted to go to Barcelona and Costa Brava. I think a week there will be relaxing/vacation-y but also interesting.
I’d originally planned a one week itinerary visiting Madrid and the Basque sea coast (via Bilbao) that I was pretty excited about too.
If you’re far enough south that you get your fill of heat— I don’t in Boston and wouldn’t sacrifice a precious summer week here for damp Ireland— Dublin and a driving tour of a region of Ireland could be fun and easy too.
Oh man I used to live in Boston and found summer so hot and humid and unpleasant… Fall was lovely though.
We just got back from the Greek Islands and my super fave was Naxos. Beautiful, relaxing, and comparatively cheap. I also loved Amsterdam and Reykjavik but they are much more expensive.
Stateside – Lake George is beautiful and the Sagamore hotel is lovely and relaxing though a week might be a bit much if you’re not set on just relaxing and doing nothing. Or Martha’s Vineyard is fun!
You could also venture to Montreal/Quebec for something easy but different.
Or, yes, Iceland!
Alternatively, I used to have great luck just looking for cheap tickets to Europeans going wherever was affordable. Dublin could be fun and not too hot in July, or somewhere in Northern Europe like Amsterdam or Denmark.If you don’t mind being a bit close to Russia right now, Lithuania is lovely.
+1 for Montreal!
Would not recommend Iceland for last minute travel – I think that tends to get booked really far in advance because it’s such a small island with tiny hotels and is so popular with tourists. My husband and I are going in a couple weeks, and when I was booking us hotels in March I already saw a lot of hotels that were fully booked, and similarly some tours were sold out months in advance too.
My guess is the bigger European cities with large business-oriented hotels can absorb tourists better. I also think the Greek isles is a great idea, along with coastal regions of Spain, France and Italy. We really enjoyed Mallorca and are going to Corsica next July. And you can never go wrong along the Italian coast…Puglia, Liguria, Amalfi, it’s all great.
If you can find accomodation, Vancouver or Vancouver Island are lovely in the summer
Heading to Europe next week, and would like to buy both stylish, flat sandals, and heeled sandals. Preferably a brand available on Zappos. Ideally a tan or neutral. Any sandals that you guys have worn and adore (and are comfortable enough for European cobblestoned streets)?
Buy there! European brands are excellent at this.
Following. I can’t find anything cute where I can walk a few blocks in my flat home city without leukotape or moleskin.
I am already planning on packing moleskin with me :(
I had a pair similar to these Reefs and walked 10 miles in one day wearing them: https://www.zappos.com/p/reef-water-vista-black-tan/product/9469078/color/2283 (lucky sizes but pretty affordable).
I tried on a pair of these and liked them (talked myself out of buying them) https://www.zappos.com/p/sorel-ella-ii-slingback-ash-brown-chalk/product/9598413/color/941837
For the heeled sandals, hear me out – look at Hush Puppies. I had a pair of block-heeled sandals from them that were SO comfortable (I tore up the leather walking on concrete). And there’s a crazy sale – these are $30 (lucky sizes also): https://www.hushpuppies.com/US/en/leila-quarter-strap-sandal/52349W.html?dwvar_52349W_color=HW06848-007#cgid=women-shoes-sandals&start=1
I buy the Kork-Ease Myrna 2.0 sandal every year or two. They are a wedge of sorts but very stable and supportive. Not the most fashion forward but they have tackle many miles including cobblestone. They are always in my luggage if I know it’s going to be a walking vacation.
I would get some Ecco, Gabor, Clarks or Högl sandals in Europe.
Or you know, Birks. Rieker is also a comfy brand, Vagabond as well.
Ooof. No matter what you buy if you wear brand new shoes to walk around every day you’re going to have a bad time.
I know. it’s all awful — I should have bought these weeks ago! Work has been crazy season and with less than a week before the trip, I’m suddenly realizing that there’s a big gap in my suitcase…
I don’t know but I have never had that problem with the Kork-Ease, out of the box comfort. Good luck OP and have so much fun!
I wouldn’t risk new shoes if you’re leaving next week, unless you just want them for a short walk to dinner or plan to uber. That’s just a recipe for blisters.
If you get some delivered in the next day, you can start wearing them consistently for several hours at a time and that will help. Good luck!
Anecdote, not data, but I one time bought a pair of Clark sandals at Nordstrom one evening, wore them out of the store, flew to Greece the next day, walked over 20,000 steps every day for 2 weeks and never found a more comfortable pair of shoes.
I’ve had several pairs of these and found them fairly comfortable: https://www.zappos.com/p/mephisto-lissandra-camel-scratch/product/8664995/color/901775 They have come in other colors from other sites too.
Naot kaylas, in a suede/natural leather (not patent or other) material.
For me these are comfortable out of the box; I did miles and miles in a day-old pair in WDW in July a few years back.
Inspired by you all, I wore my Barbie pink skirt to work on Friday. I passed a street musician on my lunch break and he started to play La Vie en Rose when I passed. Happy weekend!
This is delightful 🩷
This is a happy post:
I used to be an avid runner – like ran 5-6x week, did a few long-distance races, but got diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and 2 bulging discs 7y ago. I had to quit running, which was tough at that time – but the back pain was so strong there was no other option. I did lots of physio and weight training, yoga, spinning and it got under control. Still not 100% perfect and there are days I can’t sit for more than an hour without pain. But.
I was running from one meeting room to another to grab my phone and realized I had no pain. So I went for a trial run later that day and it was amazing! No back pain and I could do 20minutes. It felt so great – being able to move in a way that comes so natural to me and to have the endorphines hitting the brain. I am taking it very slow and am cautious, but did 2 more runs since.
I thought I would never be able to run again – so you can imagine my mood this weekend.
That’s awesome! Enjoy – I’m so happy for you!
That is so so so great!!!!!! I’ve never been as serious a runner as it sounds you are, but did enjoy short runs and 3 years ago learned I have hip dysplasia and running isn’t great for me. Been super diligent about my PT, and a few weeks ago on a whim just started running during my usual morning walk. It felt amazing and I’ve been able to continue them without pain (I stick to 2x / week at under 3 miles). It. Feels. So. Good.