ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 178 Comments

Weekend Open Thread

woman wears light green three-quarter-sleeve cashmere cardigan with dark green pants and a white tank; she is wearing shades of shades

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Years ago, readers loved a three-quarter-sleeved cardigan from Halogen that reliably came out year after year in new colors… and then it went away! I was reminded of it a bit when I saw this gorgeous wool-and-cashmere cardigan from Vince (although I think this is probably the elevated x 100 version of that Halogen one)!

Vince has a bunch of gorgeous cardigans at the moment, actually, with lots on sale — this one is marked from $345 to $241 at Nordstrom and Vince, available in two colors, with lots of sizes left. I'd wear it with blue dark rinse bootcut or flared jeans and a white tank, or I'd go for gray jeans with a black tee beneath.

Hunting for more wool/cashmere blends? Check out this lovely one from Kule… If you know of others I'd love to hear them!

Some of our favorite classic cardigans for the office as of 2024 include those below — definitely check Talbots and J.Crew Factory if you're looking for plus sizes, and Quince is always a nice affordable option. Veronica Beard and Brooks Brothers both keep a bunch of options in stock.

woman wears 100% cotton twinset cardigan and shell; she is wearing navy with black
Brooks Brothers
woman wears cashmere cardigan
Talbots
woman wears pale blue cashmere cardigan with matching pale blue cashmere shell; it's a twinset
Veronica Beard
green cotton twinset cardigan and shell with a Blackwatch plaid skirt
J.Crew Factory

Sales of note for 12.5

178 Comments

  1. For those of you with an individual maid (as opposed to a service), how do you handle raises? My maid has been working for me for about 2 years and I pay her $80/week for weekly service (which is pretty much market in my MCOL city). She’s usually here for about 2-2.5 hours and does a great job and is reliable. I also pay her in advance every time she requests, pay her even when I’m on vacation and give a generous holiday bonus. I’ve done a lot of animal fostering in the past year, which means my house is generally dirtier than normal, although it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s here longer (she would still have to vacuum and mop and deal with pet hair whether it’s one dog or two). She hasn’t asked for a raise, but I don’t want to make her if it’s something that I should be considering at this point. And if so, what’s appropriate? A $10/week raise? $20? TIA!

    1. I wait until she asks, especially if you’re at market rate already. I make sure to tip generously at Christmas though.

    2. If I believe someone is doing a great job, even if I am already paying generously, I think about what “replacement cost” headaches would be. I want that person to think of me as her favorite employer/job.

      To me, an extra $260/year is no big deal, but it could mean a lot in keeping that worker. When in doubt, if you can afford it, tack on that extra $10.

      1. +10000000000

        Plus that amount seems low to me, ESPECIALLY with a bunch of animals, and I’m in a LCOL area.

      2. Agree. Inflation is real and most people get annual raises, so why not err on the side of generosity.

    4. I think it’s time to give her a raise without her asking. Costs of living have risen significantly in the past 2 years, and she needs more money to stay in the same financial position. I assume that if I have received a raise or think I should have received a raise without changing jobs then the same is probably true for the person who cleans my house. I think you could assume she should ask for a raise if she needs one, we know how difficult that can be for a lot of people, and I think those issues may be even larger for an immigrant who really needs the job, which is the stereotype of people who clean houses.

    5. I’ve increased the weekly rate, as I have received wage increases. She has gone from $150/session to $175/session over the last 2 years. Once I get my raise in March, I will increase it again. I figure my raise reflects general cost of living increases so I pass it along in some fashion.

    6. I think you should be thinking about a COL raise anyway – I know you said you’re paying market, but that seems low to me for 2-2.5 hrs work, for basically a “contractor”. And market rate has changed in the last 2 years in most cities – were you paying above market when you first hired her? (And if you were – it sounds like maybe her work is above market too)

    7. I’m not sure what a maid is but if you mean housekeeper that seems shockingly low

      1. Speaking of which, read Stephanie Land’s book “Maid” for some perspective on what it’s like for people who do that kind of work.

    9. One terrific person cleaned my house biweekly for decades but recently retired. She was the sole employee of a company she registered and through which taxes were paid etc. I am now looking for a replacement. I would prefer one person who came every time, but services seem to take better care of the legal issues. To the experts out there, what are the specific issues of which I need to be aware when hiring an individual cleaner? Thank you.

      1. Not exactly what you asked but we solved this dilemma by finding a service that would send the same person every week. Once in a blue moon, something will come up and they offer to send a replacement cleaner and we have the option of skipping that cleaning. It works well for all the tax reasons you’d want to use a service.

      2. In addition to tax issues for hiring someone to be a household employee, there’s all the ancillary issues such as workers compensation, disability insurance, eligibility to work in the US, federal/state holidays and benefits and whatever else your state may have.

        Separate from issues related to having an employee, you should also consider insurance. If the person gets injured while at your house, will your insurance cover it (or will workers comp assuming you are paying on the books and doing everything properly)? If the person damages something, is that covered by your homeowners insurance? One benefit of a service is they carry (or should carry) their own insurance

        Are you going to do a background check on the person?

    1. I haven’t been yet but my parents loooved it and it’s on our “5 year plan” (lol) for travel.

    2. The Insta account @lavidashannon has some Malta in her highlights. She’s Maltese by heritage and traveled back there last year to have her daughter there, so stayed awhile but went to places that looked tourist-fun too.

    3. I loved Malta. What a fascinating place. Incredible history, amazing food, gorgeous scenery. I’d recommend at least 5 days: 2 exploring the history of Valletta, 1 for Medina and the southern coast, 2 on Victoria Island. More if you dive. Don’t miss kayaking the stunning blue water and sea caves between islands, or the farm-to-table restaurant Diar Il-Binet near Dingli.

    5. I loved Malta, especially Rabat and the island of Gozo. It was too long ago for any hotel or restaurant recommendations to be useful.

  3. How I dress lately is more 32 degrees than Vince, but I love the shape of that cardigan!

  4. it’s sooo cold where i am — what are some of your favorite cold dreary winter traditions? (hygge?)

    1. I guess it’s hygge. I WFH and wear all my cozy sweaters, I don’t care if they’re casual for Zooms. Everyone is casual now. I wear fleece too, and I’m in my Haflinger slippers right now with some colorful Bombas socks.

      Cooking wise, I make a lot of soups and stews. If you have a FB account, follow Jacques Pepin. It’s the only place he posts new content. Every one of his short videos is an easy to make classic dish. I am looking forward to making his shortcut cassoulet for dinner tonight!

      In terms of getting outside, I love that the weather app on my iphone can now give me a precipitation forecast by hour that is updated live. My dog doesn’t love walks in the first place, but getting out with him during a 2 hour break from precipitation is a nice break in the day, and he’d probably never go on a walk with me again if he got rained on (bulldog probs).

      1. Jacques Pepin’s cooking videos are so soothing. He’s also started an awesome foundation that trains parolees, low-income folks for line jobs in restaurants, for folks looking for a worthy cause.

    2. Candles, diffusing a comforting scent in the evening, lots of hot beverages, cozy blankets and getting into my fleece pjs or comfy sweats as soon as I get home. I just got a new puzzle to do by the fire. Lots of nights being snuggled up and reading. I really like to set a mood at night with soft music, soft lighting, nice scents and soft things to wear and snuggle. Hot Epsom salt baths with an essential oil in by candle light. I also love to make soup on the weekends. I’m really trying to lean into romancing my life so I’m curious to read other responses.

    3. You might find this lame, but I typically spend the winter deep cleaning my house because it doesn’t get done at any other time (just incase anyone is shuddering in horror I do clean the rest of the year just not deep clean).

    4. Nothing super groundbreaking, but – hot cocoa, board games, baking, watching GBBO or reading under a blanket, turning on the Netflix fake fireplace, cozy slippers.

      Until I saw Frozen the musical I pronounced that word totally wrong. I always thought it was Hig-gee

    5. i keep an electric heating pad by my reading chair, and by my bed, and i use them both frequently. (the electric throw blanket was a bit too much but the heating pad is doable.) we load up on tea…

      1. This reminds me, I have a heated wrap for shoulders than I use constantly for warmth.

      3. I live in Florida and keep a heating pad on my chair with the AC blasting. I am now addicted to the warm feeling, like a little old lady.

    6. I like to invite friends for mulled wine or hot cider. Take advantage of any excuse to have company – Super Bowl, Valentine’s Day, Sunday dinner on a 3 day weekend, whatever. Like others I also like to do a lot of soups and stews and some baking. Basically, lean into being home.

  5. I didn’t have a chance to comment on the thread in the AM, but I highly recommend the Peloton Tread! I use it every day (despite not using the bike as much) for both their workouts, but also as a standing desk (typing there right now), which means I get 8k-10k steps or day or so just from using it as a standing desk. I am sure there are cheaper solutions, but as something I have used every day for the last 2 years, I am glad I got the tread.

      2. I bought an “under desk” treadmill for work. I walk on it at a fairly slow pace when reading or for light editing. It’s a good way to move around a bit. The brand is Sunny and it was $300. I could move it around myself with a cart. Well worth it!

      3. Yup! It depends what it is but I can do 3.0 miles per hour while doing easy work such as notes, emails, proofreading. I can’t do deep work though.

  6. lame question, but I’m trying to get into iced tea — if you love iced tea, what are your favorites? so far this week i’ve just used a Twinings Cold Infuse thing that i’ve had for probably 5+ years at this point.

    1. I use Bigelow Earl Grey or Bigelow Darjeeling regular tea bags. I make it hot, double strength, then pour over ice. I try to let it cool a bit. Like I might make a little pot for iced tea in the morning at the same time I’m making my morning cup of hot tea.

    2. I have an iced tea maker that I use year round. I use two cold brew iced tea bags and two Celestial Seasonings peach.

    3. I like Celestial Seasonings berry teas as iced tea — blueberry, raspberry, etc. I make it like normal as hot tea, and then when it’s cooled down I pour it over ice. Or make it extra extra strong and pour it into a pitcher of cold water.

    4. Revolution Teas has some seriously delish flavors that I love for iced tea–a peach ginger one, and a green tea citrus one. Their teas usually have to be mail ordered, but so, so worth it!

    5. For classic iced tea, Luzianne is the gold standard for me, sweetened or unsweetened, so much better than Lipton/etc. in my opinion. Also like iced Earl Grey sometimes.

    6. I have an ice tea maker. We buy Whistling Kettle’s iced tea blend by the pound as loose tea, then add their Ginger Blueberry so we have some extra flavor. It takes about 3 tablespoons of tea to make 3 quarts of iced tea that way.

    7. I make pitchers of hot tea using Tazo tea bags, particularly the sweet orange and the mint teas, then put the pitcher in the fridge. I have also used the large iced tea bags from the brand and like the one with hibiscus a lot.

    8. In case you didn’t know, the word ‘lame’ is considered ableist so perhaps consider using another word in future. I’d call that a light or frivolous question.
      My favourites are ginger and lemon.

        1. Gentle reminders are acceptable. I admit that I had a bad habit of using the “R” word. Would rather have someone correct me here than IRL.

        2. I feel like that was a very polite correction of a word that many of us may not have given much thought to (I was actually grateful for the reminder), and didn’t call for a snarky response.

          1. Clearly I should have stated it wasn’t a snarky question.
            In my experience, the people who jump to correct online will not do the same in real life.

        3. Not the person above, but when I hear ‘lame’ I look at the person quizzically and then look at my cane. Works better than words when you can make eye contact but the word above are also fine.

          Retard, lame and moron are all words I used to use casually but will not now.

          1. Person who asked the (not snarky) correction question here, and I love that. Outside of a specific context (‘my horse is lame, the vet said XYX’) there is no real reason to use the word because so many better ones exist…

      2. OP who used the word here – horrified that I did, no reason that word should not have been on my list. Thank you for correcting me.

    9. I like to try whatever hot tea I’ve been enjoying as iced tea by filling a half gallon jug with cold water, dropping in 4 tea bags, and letting it slowly steep in the fridge overnight. Take the bags out and enjoy.

    11. I have a Tupperware cold brew thing I use with whatever loose leaf tea I enjoy hot. Another way is to use tea bags and a jug of cold water. You have to experiement to get the ratio of water to tea the way you like it.
      I prefer black tea blends and add flavour syrup and milk in my cup before adding ice.

    12. I use PG Tips, which I buy in bulk from Amazon, but I have it on good authority that I can get the same deal at a local Indian store that I did not know existed, so I will try that next time. I make it at least double strength, probably more.

      1. I love PG Tips a lot. I buy mine from Amazon too but my husband also found it at World Market.

        I think of it as a morning tea with sugar and milk. I use my Earl Grey for iced tea currently, but I will try the PG Tips too.

    13. Ceylon tea makes the best thirst-quenching iced tea, very “brisk” flavor, in my opinion. Currently I brew individual mugs of Dilmah brand Ceylon tea (bought in bulk from Amazon), and then pour it over a tall, ice-filled glass and let it chill for a few minutes before sipping. I also occasionally make a two-quart jug of iced tea: brew for about six bags of tea (all Ceylon, or combination of Ceylon and Republic of Tea flavored teas, like peach or mango or ginger) for about five or six minutes in a big (4-5-cup) tea pot. Then chill the tea in the teapot in the refrigerator. Then pour the chilled tea into a two-quart pitcher and add enough water to make a total of two quarts. When serving, pour over a tall glass filled with ice. Yum!

  7. What are professional norms around taking a longer vacation? For context, I am a high performer, in house lawyer, 20 years into my career and about 2 years into my current role/company. I want to take a 2 week vacation overseas to Europe this summer (combination of vacation to my family of origin’s home country to see aging relatives plus some “normal” vacation beach relaxation and sightseeing). Because of the long flights and wanting to fit all of this in, I view this trip as requiring 2 weeks minimum. I have enough PTO to cover the trip. In all of my prior roles (private practice at BigLaw and in house at large public company), this would be totally fine. Whenever I have taken vacation, I always remain responsive by email, usually checking morning and evening to keep projects moving and bringing my laptop in case any emergencies bubble up, so I wouldn’t be planning to go completely “dark.” When I floated this by my manager, I got some pushback. Not a “no”, but some discouragement… along the lines of people here don’t typically take more than a week of vacation at a time…
    I am honestly really mad about the pushback. I’m a professional and have worked way too long and way too hard to be micromanaged on how I use my time off. I’m giving a heads up more than 6 months in advance, my workload is predictable, and I am almost certain nothing urgent will be happening at that time.
    This is a big red flag (among other things) for me that perhaps the culture of my company (the tone of which is set by my manager) is not a good fit for me. I am a high achiever but have kids and value flexibility, autonomy and having a life outside of work as well. Having control of my own schedule as long as it doesn’t negatively impact others is really important to me. I made this very clear during the interview process and also since then, so this should not be a surprise.
    Would you take the trip under these circumstances?

    2. I would be mad too. Two weeks vacation is not unheard of in corporate America, and people are often especially sympathetic (in my experience) to those who have family abroad.

      But unfortunately I think your manager is telling you what the company culture is, so your choices are 1) go and ignore the pushback, 2) don’t go, or 3) start job hunting. I would do 1 but I also don’t care about my job as much as many people do.

    3. Take it. You deserve it. Emphasize that you will get coverage, and also be checking mail for urgent matters and to move things along. In summer, so many people are also out–it should be fine.

      2. Sorry–also you noted 2 weeks minimum. I woud not take a vacation much longer than 2 weeks–those are generally saved for honeymoons. I may have misread, but just because you have 3-4 weeks of PTO saved, I don’t know hardly any company where you could take all of it in a super-long chunk, beyond 2 weeks or 2 weeks plus weekends tacked on.

          1. I’m state govt (public higher ed) and we have tons of leave but it’s rare to take more than two consecutive weeks. People do it occasionally – especially near the winter holidays and August when things are slow- but it’s definitely frowned upon by some people in upper management, and I think you might get pushback, especially if you aren’t one of the favored employees of the upper managers. I’ve never taken more than two weeks and have only done that a couple times, but it has more to do with more personal preference for shorter, more frequent vacations.

            I think taking >2 weeks was more acceptable before remote work was so normalized (especially for people with family in faraway places like India and China), but now if you’re taking an extended trip around the world to see family you’d normally take 2 weeks of vacation leave and work remotely the rest of the time.

        3. OP here. Thanks for pointing this out. I said “minimum” because I don’t want to shorten the trip to less than 2 weeks. I’m thinking I’d be out for exactly 2 weeks, not more.

        4. Same. I don’t know anyone who takes more than two weeks off at a time. And FWIW I was a Fed for 12 years and no one did it there, either (I was a litigator and it was not reasonable to expect someone to cover your caseload for a whole month – maybe different from the person below who mentioned people having use or lose. I always had use or lose at the end of the year and just had to donate it).

        5. Counterpoint, I took a four week dream vacation last year that my boss was 100% supportive of. I was offline the whole time. Government lawyer on a team that was able to absorb my workload while I was gone; I absorbed a teammate’s workload the year before when she took the same amount of time. I’m realizing how lucky I am, reading all of these comments, and a little surprised how many people are discouraging taking more than two weeks.
          Also, I’m not married and not interested in waiting until my honeymoon, if I ever take one, to take a dream trip. If the cards line up right, I have the time, and I can afford it, I’m going. And I hope OP does too!

    4. Yes, I would definitely take it! If two weeks is taboo you don’t want to be there for a lifetime anyway, take your trip, see what happens – maybe it’s fine or maybe you move on sooner than later.

    6. that’s kind of long by average US corporate culture standards other than a honeymoon. 10 days for a big trip, sure. But 2 weeks “minimum” is a lot even with keeping general tabs on stuff. If you want to cash in some goodwill to do it, I think you could, though.

      1. It’s really unfortunate that US corporate culture only allows longer vacations for those who get married. Makes me think of the SatC where Carrie adds up all the money she’s shelled out for baby showers, wedding gifts, etc. I don’t see why single people or people who aren’t “just married” somehow aren’t worth of 2 weeks off. (Cat, this is aimed at corporate culture, not you.)

        OP – take the vacation. Life is too short and I expect you’ll have a hard time not feeling better if you don’t do it.

        1. I hear you, but I also think the idea is that honeymoons are meant to be a one time thing. So it’s not so much a “married person perk” as “everyone only gets to do this one time” and there isn’t a similar one time life event for people who don’t get married

          Of course, some people get married more than once – I worked for a Big Law partner who was on his fourth wife when I worked there, and I think is now on at least #5. But if you’re constantly getting divorced and remarried I would imagine people stop treating the honeymoon trip as sacrosanct.

          1. That’s my point – only married people “get to do this one time” if a 2-week vacation is limited to honeymoons. It’s definitely a married person perk, and a married person with enough money to take a 2-week vacation at the time they got married perk.

            If a company can handle a 2-week vacation for a newlywed, it can handle one for a single person or a person who’s been married for 17 years. That should be the question, not the reason for the vacation.

          2. I’ve seen people take 2 weeks for milestone birthday trips. I just used honeymoon as my example since it’s the most obvious & justifiable one. My point was they’re more unusual and infrequent than week or 10 day trips.

      2. I don’t really understand why 2 weeks would be that much worse than 10 days. In many cases it would only be a couple more business days, and I feel like if someone is out of the office Wed-Fri, the odds they get a lot of substantive work done on Monday and Tuesday are low.

    7. I think you should take it and make it an example for your manager/the company that this can work out just fine. I don’t think you deserve a long vacation any more than anyone else because you are “a professional,” though.

    8. I’m in-house and my colleagues take multiple two-week vacations a year, from directors to vice presidents.

      1. Same here. Two week chunks are pretty normal, but you need to time them right. For example, take it over Christmas/New Years, summer around the 4th of July, spring breaks, etc.

          1. I find notice is less helpful depending on what you do, it’s not so much knowing you’ll be out as needing the person who’s gone. It’s fine to take two weeks at my company, but you bugged less if you go on vacation when everyone else is or it’s a slow time.

    9. This would be totally fine any place I’ve worked. I think your manager and/or workplace are out of touch.

    10. All of my family is in Europe so I’ve been doing the two week break thing consistently as I’ve gone up the ranks. It’s never been an issue because I’m always available if needed and I check my emails 2-3 times a day. I have built up trust by doing this and was allowed to take more than 2 weeks off by a previous employer.

      I’m with my children so I’m not getting a true break from everything. I do 2-3 long weekends when I don’t have the children and it’s quiet at work for recharging. I don’t do anything but eat, read, sleep and exercise during those retreats.

      1. Forgot to add…

        The clash with your manager isn’t good. If it’s not a good fit start I recommend you start looking for a new role. You aren’t going to change things there and it’s not worth fighting dinosaurs.

        1. People leave supervisors, not companies. If you don’t want to switch, maybe another department in the same company?

    11. I used to have a c-suite boss who said to everyone “if I can do without you for two weeks, I can do without you.”

      I did finally take a two week vacation to the UK and Ireland, but have vivid memories of being on conference calls in both hotels I stayed in, as well as answering emails at the National Gallery. I wish I hadn’t agreed to be so available. Things always seemed urgent at that company, and in hindsight, maybe they weren’t actually that urgent….

      1. I worked for a partner in Big Law who said this. It’s kind of a $hitty thing to say, but at the same time I do see the point that a long vacation can make your employer realize how easily they can do without you.

        1. If managing without you for two weeks is like managing without you ever coming back, consider using some of that vacation time to job hunt.

    12. Not law, but I’m in a pretty old school, not great benefits, tech place, and we’ve had people take 2-3 week international vacations (and they’re not checking in!) with this kind of advanced notice

    13. I’d be mad too. How are you supposed to take a proper break and come back refreshed if you are meant to squeeze work into your holiday in a different time zone!

      Very common in my workplace to take two weeks or more, gives junior staff the opportunity to act in the role and stretch themselves. Poor management if you can’t cope without staff for a couple of weeks. What happens if someone gets very sick?

      Take the vacation and enjoy the opportunity. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

    15. Consultancy here and took four weeks off to go to Europe. Once it’s longer than a week, it doesn’t matter whether it’s two or eight, they have to find someone to cover your clients so take your leave entitlements – you are entitled to them!

      1. I disagree with this premise. Two weeks is normal and typical. Three is pushing it. I don’t agree that it’s only for weddings but it shouldn’t be annually either. I see three as more of a sabbatical, every 5 years or so. More than that and people talk and it’s a problem.

        1. My goodness, two vacations per decade?!
          I’m curious about your leave entitlements, do you only get a week of annual leave a year?
          We get three and throw in a couple of holidays around your vacation and it’s about a month a year. You can’t roll over more than 10 weeks, so use it lose it baby!

          1. She’s saying you only take three or more weeks off at once every ~5 years, not that you only get two vacations per decade.

          2. Is it only a vacation if it’s three weeks? I’ve had some really great week and a half long vacations!

            I like to take 2-3 days throughout the year for whatever, I can’t stand the idea of waiting a whole year to have time off work again. I save my PTO for that.

          3. No no no, I’m saying two weeks at a time is fine, more than that in a row can be problematic. I take 4-6 weeks off every year, but in two week chunks and then some long weekends. Three weeks in a row or longer tends to feel more like a leave of absence and is hard to manage in most US companies, so I’d do those sparingly.

          4. Two 3+ week vacations per decade not two vacations total! I have 6 weeks of annual vacation leave and use all of it, but it is still unusual to take more than 2 weeks off at once, and most people use it in 1 week chunks. I prefer using it in 1 week increments because it means I can have a trip on the calendar basically every other month.

  8. randomly – is anyone wintersowing some flowers? i’m excited to try this weekend – got a bunch of seeds from lowe’s.

    1. Fun – what did you get? Not seeds, but I did plant some daffodils and interestingly, some perennial tulips over the holidays. Learned that tulips actually originated in Azerbaijan and like dry rocky soil, so looking forward to that if the hard freeze didn’t kill them in the ground (Dallas area).

      2. Tulips like/require a hard freeze. That’s why I can’t grow them here in the Bay Area. They never bloom again after the first year. I get some leaves and that’s it. If it froze here, I’d get blossoms in year 2+.

    2. I am! But my focus is native wildflowers. I purchased seeds at Prairiemoon.com. I’ve got milk jug set up on my deck – common milkweed, false indigo, butterfly weed, columbine, joe pie weed, black-eyed susan, and a mix of northeast wild flowers (bought that at American Meadows, but I’ve since learned they are a less reputable source?). I’m super excited to see if this works! I’m in NYC suburbs.

    3. I am! But my focus is native wildflowers. I purchased seeds at Prairiemoon. I’ve got milk jug set up on my deck – common milkweed, false indigo, butterfly weed, columbine, joe pie weed, black-eyed susan, and a mix of northeast wild flowers (bought that at American Meadows, but I’ve since learned they are a less reputable source?). I’m super excited to see if this works! I’m in NYC suburbs.

    4. I got a bunch – lavender, cosmos, sunflowers, annual phlox, and sweet pea. Also kale and dill. I’m keeping an eye out for native seeds like cardinal flowers and lobelia too, and then have a bunch of zinnia I may try in a month or two.

    5. Not that this is a “new” thing exactly, but I’m surprised it’s a thing the commenters on this thread seem to know about. Is this idea something recently publicized?

      1. I haven’t used the term wintersowing before but the concept of fall planting isn’t arcane? in any event it’s very rare someone asks a hobby question and strikes out!

      2. I only recently heard of it thanks to a fb group but I do think the specific process is less than 50 years old, the lady credited with the idea is still alive. The idea is you use milk jugs and other clear plastic containers (with holes drilled) to create mini-greenhouses to sow seeds (like from a packet, not bulbs)… it will catch snow and rainwater to water the plants, and when conditions are right the seeds will start growing. As long as there’s condensation in the mini greenhouse the gardener is done until it’s time to transplant them into the ground – supposedly a set-and-forget kind of thing.

    6. Heh many years ago I bought a bunch of what were advertised as “wildflower seeds” and sowed them in a patch in my garden. My conclusion was that “wildflowers” is another word for “weeds.” I hope you all have much better luck than I did!

      1. You’re in CA right? The wildflowers in the packet may not have been native to your area and couldn’t germinate (e.g., required 30 or 60 day cold period). Also, birds eat seeds and many wildflower seeds need to be on top of soil to germinate. This is why the winter sowing for native plants works well in climates with 4 seasons. (And as compared to fall planting of growing plants, is cheaper although perhaps slower.).

        Try planting native plants in your yard! You’ll feed the pollinators!

        1. Great point! Yes we are in California and these days we have a beautiful patch of California poppies in the front yard every spring!

  9. TLDR: Are there treadmills quiet enough to use in a bedroom without bothering someone sleeping?

    I’d like to get a treadmill but the only place to put it is in my bedroom. My goal is to use it in the mornings before showering and going to work. My husband is a sound sleeper, and my run would be at most 30 minutes before he himself would normally wake up. Do you think the treadmill noise would be bothersome? Are there very quiet treadmills?

    1. I think it’s less the sound of the treadmill motor but your feet pounding on it… I would say no, too noisy.

      1. +1 I can’t imagine any scenario in which I wouldn’t wake up to feet pounding on a treadmill in my bedroom, and I’m a pretty sound sleeper.

      2. Right. I would not ask someone to try to sleep though that. There’s no way to make it quiet. Just go outside and run for 30 minutes and then come back when H is awake.

    2. I am a sound sleeper and I’d be ok with a treadmill next to me, especially as it’s only 30 minutes before I usually wake up, if it does rouse your husband.

      1. Sleep is so precious, if my husband devised a plan based on the idea that it would “only wake me up 30 minutes before my normal time” on a consistent basis like it was no big, we would have words and that plan would be done.

      2. “it’s only 30 minutes…” can have a big impact on the rest of the day, though.

    4. That is not a thing. I am a deep sleeper and this would be a wake-up call 30 minutes early. I would be annoyed that you couldn’t just run outside but could perhaps compromise on an earlier wake-uo time for me if it somehow benefits us both.

    5. there are treadmills that have quieter motors than others but it’s the thudding of your feet running that’s the problem. my mother could wake me up – on the 2nd floor – from her runs in the BASEMENT and I am also a sound sleeper!

      1. as an alternative, an elliptical could be quiet enough since there’s no pounding feet?

        1. I have an elliptical and it is pretty silent. It also doesn’t cause the floor/house to shake, so at times I don’t even know if DH is using it, even though it’s right upstairs from where I’m sitting. I have one from NordicTrak.

    6. The sudden introduction of noises like a motor running and pounding feet in a very quiet room will wake anyone who isn’t deaf.

        1. A treadmill quiet enough to be used in a bedroom where someone is sleeping. Did you read the OP’s question??

    8. My husband and I would each support the other if this was the only reasonable way for one of us to get some exercise. Maybe yours could adjust his bedtime so he can get up and have his coffee you are running? So maybe talk to him and see what he says? You might be pleasantly surprised.

      1. Leave him a cup of coffee on the bedside table before you start and that will soften the blow! I’d be ok if my husband did that, I’m slow to wake up and need some time awake before I can get out of bed.

  10. Hi – asking for shopping help or store pointers

    I am attending a business event where there’ll be a dinner and I’ll be on stage and have a little attention on me, not too much.
    I am seeking a statement jacket or blazer, preferably with floral pattern. I am size 20 or 1X so I am very conscious about wanting to look good, not like a big piece of fabric. I would want to be wearing black pants or tights on my legs, probably a thin black fitted sweater under the jacket. I am heavier in my hips and thighs so I was thinking about a longer jacket or jacket dress?

    I do like some of the post-holiday metallic or jacquard on sale but prefer multicolor. I am willing to spend up to $450 or so – I want to look WOW! Not like “oh my mom has that one from that store in the mall”

    Thank you in advance

    1. I think you’re looking for marina rinaldi or Lafayette 148 (maybe on a resale site!). I’d also take it to a tailor for the Wow effect. But at size 20 Biden, Karen millen, jcrew, and some other stores may apply. (I’m a 1x too…)

    2. If you’re tall maybe one of these jacket dresses?
      https://www.raydarten.com/collections/best-sellers/products/banife-african-print-jacket-dress

      This one is over budget but pretty
      https://paripassushop.com/products/hillary-jacquard-floral-coat?variant=46891334926636&currency=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOoqk47XgteKv9C243oQ_5iFgW5-LcKi1Y2EZKrbxCWPEMGbF0_2jKwM&com_cvv=d30042528f072ba8a22b19c81250437cd47a2f30330f0ed03551c4efdaf3409e

      Too springy?
      https://posh.mk/1WHXhPY2vGb

      I’ve never bought from here but they have some interesting blazers in size 20 for around $200
      https://www.neverfullydressed.com/en-us/products/pink-stripe-monaco-blazer?currency=USD&srsltid=AfmBOorCbiotf4SnOa8hFr85GLyTBXXdHRuZ0QV6iIr2Bx-hLeBYnEZrSbc&com_cvv=d30042528f072ba8a22b19c81250437cd47a2f30330f0ed03551c4efdaf3409e

      1. Different plus sized poster. I think that Marina Rinaldi is great if those colors work for you. I’d definitely keep checking resale shops for Marina Rinaldi. Google Shopping is best for this, because then all the resale shop offerings will pop up.

          1. Looking for brighter but the other Marina Rinaldi blazer is more up my alley
            Thanks hadn’t hear of the brand

        3. This is a blouse with a jacket-like presence. I’d wear it with dark navy pants.

          https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Marina-Rinaldi%2C-Plus-Size-Elegante-Bamby-Taffeta-Gathered-Blouse-0400019178171.html?dwvar_0400019178171_size=20+W&dwvar_0400019178171_color=BEIGE&site_refer=CSE_MSNPLA:Womens_Clothing:Marina+Rinaldi%2C+Plus+Size&CSE_CID=M_Saks_PLA_US_Women%27s+Apparel:Shirts+%26+Tops&msclkid=f89616456ed01d71742473e96231bfe2&gclid=f89616456ed01d71742473e96231bfe2&gclsrc=3p.ds

      2. Thanks! I knew about Ray Darren and that’s what I was leaning towards but not sure, the others are great to check out, thanks!

    3. I would check Baacal, Wild Fang, Tanya Taylor, Veronica Beard (a little more expensive but may have a sale). I’m not sure there are many florals out right now, but those might be good places to start!

    4. Maybe I’m not syncing with what you have in mind, but a floral blazer is just not fashionable or something I would ever consider wearing when I wanted to look good. If you don’t want a solid, go for one of the lady jacket styles. I like Veronica Beard for power blazers.

      1. Mmm. The women who wear Lafayette blazers are very fashionalbe. I love that she is leaning into looking FAB!

        1. For sure. I feel like when I see someone wearing Ted Baker, I know it’s Ted Baker pretty much immediately, and just think “yeah, nice!”

      3. Thanks I think I’m going for funky rather than fashionable, but definitely trying to avoid frumpy so please know your take is appreciated and did not come off as rude, more insightful, thanks

      1. I like that Lafayette one a lot. If I were OP I’d get that one and invest in tailoring.

    6. I was going to suggest some of the more flavorful jackets at Chico’s, except that might fall into the category of “oh my mom has that one from teh store in the mall.”

      1. I think OP can do a lot better than Chico’s with her budget, and yeah, it will definitely be “my menopausal mom wears that jacket.”

          1. I’m 2:28 and I’m also a menopausal mom. But I don’t think the typical menopausal mom (ie Chicos) is what OP is going for.

  11. Gift help please. My best friend’s bday is in early February. Usually I already have something for her but the holidays were hectic and now I’m laid up with a broken ankle, so I can’t shop in person in time—online for delivery only.
    She owns a horse and two dogs, WFH, lives alone in the mountains in CA, mid-40s, gluten free by medical necessity, and I can send her fashion, food, subscription, housewares, basically anything I think she’ll love but I just would appreciate some fresh ideas. This board always has good ones I wouldn’t find on my own! Thanks!

    1. A subscription to Sunset magazine? I live in CA and really enjoy getting my physical one as an alternative to reading random stuff on a screen sometimes. If you are unfamiliar it’s about travel, house stuff and food based on the West coastal states.

      2. Counterpoint, I lived in California for years and never found the articles and recommendations in Sunset magazine particularly interesting or good. If you think she would enjoy a travel magazine, I would do one of the big names like T&L, Conde Nast Traveler or Afar.

    3. If time permits, you might consider a custom mousepad, so she can be reminded of you everyday while she works from home. (My sister gave me a mousepad for Xmas this year where the image depicted was a bit of an inside joke among the siblings; I’m going to be laughing each time I look at it, never gets old!)

    4. Flowers every month, cheese of the month, champagne, nice wine, tickets to a concert or a gift certificate to something she likes to do.

    5. I adore the robes from Block Shop as special gifts. The patterns and colors are great, and I appreciate the company’s values. Their table linens and home decor are also lovely.

    6. SRSLY Bread’s Classic Glutenfree Sourdough three loaf pack. I received it as a holiday gift and it is an extraordinary treat.

  12. Do prom dress magazines exist anymore? I love looking at pretty dresses and miss the nostalgia of flipping through a magazine. (Plus, my preteen niece has a princess themed vision board party this spring so good recycling) I can’t find any to order online. Am I too early?

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