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Weekend Open Thread

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white mother of pearl drop earrings

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I've always been a fan of large, dangly white earrings because I've (almost) always had long, dark hair. (Also, although I rarely wear white, it does bring a bit of brightness to my face.)

These earrings from Kendra Scott look lovely — and I am sorely tempted by the three other color variations: mint green, light blue, and a pretty pink. They all look like great ways to bring fresh pastels to brighten your outfits for spring!

The earrings are $75 at Nordstrom; they also have a matching necklace and come as studs.

Sales of note for 1/16/25:

  • M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
  • L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Sephora – 50% off top skincare through 1/17
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Summersalt – BOGO sweaters, including this reader-favorite sweater blazer; 50% off winter sale; extra 15% off clearance
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+

193 Comments

  1. Looking for a Breton-style T-shirt in 100% cotton and NOT a boatneck. I understand that is the traditional neckline but it’s not flattering on me. Any recs for one that has a scoop or V instead? TIA!

    1. Would you settle for 5% Spandex? Wardrobe Oxygen is always yammering on about Breton tops and actually posted one in January with a round’ish neck. It’s not a scoop, but it is not a boatneck, either. If it does not suit, just search her site and find her other jillion posts on Breton tops.

    3. Can you clarify – are you looking for a heavy knit with stripes? Or 3/4 length sleeves? I always thought Breton specifically meant a boatneck tee with stripes and 3/4 length sleeves, so I’m learning something here.

    1. There’s a NYT recipe for slow-cooker chicken ragù with herbed ricotta that is very good, and the ricotta is probably the best part. They have you mix it with lemon juice, a bit of salt, and chopped soft herbs. It’s delicious, and we always at least double the ricotta! I bet it’d be good on other things as well.

    3. Mix the ricotta with some olive oil and salt to taste until smooth.Smear on a plate. Roast or grill some vegetables and spread over the ricotta. Finish with chopped fresh herbs or balsamic drizzle.

      1. OMG… you can come over and make that at my house. Don’t expect leftovers though.

    8. Make gnudi, it’s delicious and the foundation is ricotta. Perfect with spring veggies in a light butter sauce.

    10. The More-with-Less Cookbook’s beef and onion pie is a great way to use up some ricotta and other odds and ends. The recipe calls for cottage cheese, but I prefer it with ricotta.

    11. baked penne with vodka — I just made a recipe I found online that included sun-dried tomatoes and fresh mozarella on top (although I used a “normal brick” of low-fat part skim mozarella, shredded, insteaed). Delicous!

      Or the Nigella Lawson’s ricotta and pine nut salad, also delicious!

    12. Washington Post’s Three Cheese Pasta Vegetable Bake is the best – I make it maybe once a week because my family loves it. If you want to post a burner email, I can gift you a link to the recipe.

  3. My daughter and I are going to NYC for a long weekend soon. Looking for 1. Ideas for restaurants that are good with a 10 year old (just in different parts of town and specifically around Times Square since we will be seeing 2 Broadway plays and soho since we have a few places to visit there) and 2. she wants to see Ellis island /statue of liberty. Looking for recommendations of companies to book / will it be too cold mid-March?

    2. +1 for the Staten Island ferry – you can pretty decent views of the Statue of Liberty from that.

    3. For boats to Ellis Island, there is only one official vendor – everyone else is a reseller. Book through the National Park website. If she just wants to see but not go in, I agree to just take the Staten Island Ferry for free.

      Re: restaurants near Times Sq – Schnippers (counter service, good salads and burgers etc, much less crowded and nicer than Shake Shack), Marseille (fancier – bistro), Nizza (Italian/pizza), Schmackary’s (cookies – must stop!), Little Pie Company (pie!), Glass House Tavern (nicer, bar menu is less expensive), Peachy Keen (food is average but it looks like the inside of the Barbie movie), Green Symphony (smoothies and healthy Korean dumpling bowls + sandwiches and stuff – counter service), Friedman’s at the Edison, Westway Diner (basic NY diner, very fast)

    4. I have a post with a lot of restaurant recs in mod – check back later. There is only one official company that can take boats to Ellis Island and Staten Island if you actually want to set foot on the island – book through the National Parks website.

    6. We stumbled into Black Iron Burger after a play recently and it was perfect – a hole in the wall, crowded but not expensive, fast, good. Feels like something that a 10 year old would appreciate as very NYC.

    7. Soho restaurant recommendations: Jack’s Wife Freda, Balthazar or Rubirosa (technically little Italy but right on the cusp).

    8. For Times Square/Hell’s Kitchen restaurants, look at
      – John’s Pizzeria – really good coal oven pizza in a decommissioned church
      – Virgil’s BBQ – fast service, the napkins are dishtowels
      – Junior’s – Diner food and amazing cheesecake in a retro setting

      There’s a fun branch of Tacombi in Soho which is nice for kids because you order tacos & quesadillas a la carte. Also, lots of fun treats in Soho, like hot chocolate at MarieBelle or cronuts at Dominique Ansel.

      All over the city the local chain Bareburger is great for kids.

      Let us know if she’s a more adventurous eater and we can share more ideas!

      1. Junior’s is a classic. I know there is better food but I always have to stop in and get something (usually potato pancakes).

    9. I know Shake Shack is all over the place now, but it started in NYC and I still like to go to the original Madison Sq Park location when I visit.

    10. Also going to NYC with a 10-y.o. soon! Thanks for the question and I’ll benefit from all these tips too!

    11. My 11 yr old loves Black Tap for the elaborate shakes. There’s a location near Herald Square

    12. YMMV but my not-super-adventurous-eater kids love Ramen/Japanese so I’d go to Totto Ramen on 51st street or one of the other ramen places in the area. E.A.K. Izakya Is supposed to be good too. In general, I think Japanese food is perfect for kids because they can just get really simple skewers or some amazing fried chicken. Junior’s Cheesecake is famous for cheesecake so can be a nice spot for dessert (Eileen’s Special Cheesecake downtown is my favorite but admittedly not as iconic).

      There’s also a Los Tacos No. 1 in Times Square if you just want a quick stand up bite. The tacos are great but it’s not a place to sit and linger.

      Other ideas in/near Times Square area: Best Sichuan for good Chinese (get scallion pancakes – my kids love them) and Еmpanada Mama.

      If you’re looking for other ideas – the Slime Museum in Soho is always very popular. The area by Madison Square Park is fun and has the Lego and Harry Potter Store there. Also Eataly. My daughter loves Butterr Beer Ice Cream at the HP store and eataly can be a fun place to grab lunch (I like to sit at the pasta counter and watch them make the fresh pasta or you can go to the original shake shack if the weather is good and sit outside).

      If you’re on the Upper West Side, Good Enough To Eat has amazing pancakes, brunch and general comfort food.

      Happy to share more recommendations if you post where you will be staying so can be more specific.NYC is big!

      1. Second Los Tacos. Also recommend Marseille on 9th Ave for a sit down meal if you are going to a Broadway show. Juniors is great for cheesecake! I miss it!

    13. If you have time to go a little south (very easy subway ride from Times Square), my preteen loved the Little Island and also loved a bakery called Dominique Ansels. The bakery has a cookie cup filled with vanilla-flavored milk and baked s’mores and my kids are still talking about those treats.

  4. Three months ago I applied for a job for which I am so perfectly qualified that the employer would be crazy not to interview me. I received a confirmation e-mail but have had no other communication. Nothing in spam folders. The application portal still lists my application as “under consideration.” I just discovered that I am not receiving some e-mails from other sources and am a bit panicked. I could change my e-mail address in the employer’s application system, but I don’t know whether that would help if they already e-mailed to schedule a screening call and I didn’t get the message, and I’m afraid it could somehow screw up my application. There is no way to contact an actual human associated with the hiring process that I can find. Any readers in HR who use Workday who can advise?

    1. Not a hiring expert, just throwing this out there: they might have an internal candidate in mind and opened the job to the public as a matter of company policy.

      1. This. It has happened to me twice: I see the job post the day it drops, apply immediately, never hear back. On the second one I contacted someone at the company and she confirmed they legally have to post the job but were going with an internal candidate. It’s a dumb system.

    2. If you have not responded to an invite for a phone screen, they have already moved on to other applicants. Also, Under Consideration can mean a dozen different things to a dozen different companies.

    3. Hiring processes are long. Also, you don’t actually know that you’re perfectly qualified! Your idea and the employer’s idea could be very different. Focus your energy on applying for other jobs instead of obsessing over this.

      2. Agree with their completely. I applied for a mid-level in-house position as a 7th year associate with top credentials and experience in that sector and later found out that the company hired a 2nd year associate without direct experience in the industry instead. You just don’t know what you don’t know.

    4. When applying, I always try to message the person I think would most likely be my manager on LinkedIn to let them know I am serious about the application and have applied. Might help in your case even though the application is old…

      1. Oh my. I would hate it if a stranger messaged me like this, but I hope it has worked in your industry!

      2. It’s okay to message the company’s recruiter on LI, but I definitely would not message the manager.

    5. The most likely scenario is that you weren’t picked for interview, possibly a hotter candidate(s) is being pursued (maybe even internal) or the hiring need hit snags internally. It still could be a blocking issue. If you had the confirmation email come through though, I wouldn’t see it as likely. Depending on the size of the company, can you message HR or someone from the hiring area via LI and express interest in the position? Otherwise,I would simply update my email address, since there is nothing to lose.

    7. Most jobs posted are not real jobs. They have either already been awarded to internal candidates or they are looking to benchmark wages.

      I have applied to 135 jobs at this point and I’m getting very little traction. I’m qualified and very good at what I do so to be sitting here 4 months into the process with nothing but 5 final interviews is annoying.

      Of the 5 roles where I made it to the final round, 4 went to the pale, stale and male candidate who was an internal promote. I was used for diversity purposes. I am angry because I’m doing contract work while unemployed. Each hour costs me $100 in lost income. HR functions need to improve their hiring process. It’s massively inefficient and don’t tell me they are finding the best talent. I shouldn’t have to be hunting down the manager and cold messaging them on LinkedIn. It’s creepy. Alas I do it because otherwise I’m filtered out.

      1. This right here. I just finished a job search as a well qualified candidate, but outsider to a field and the process is soul-sucking and so random. “Fire and forget” was the only way to complete that many applications and not go crazy.
        Good luck to you, RiskedCredit. I hope a solid hiring manager sees your application and puts you at the top of the pile!

      2. Just wanted to say the hiring process these days is miserable. From my experience two years ago and those of acquaintances, it seems like it takes far more interviews than it used to. So much wasted time and HR discussing benefits packages while there were still three or more interviews to go. I went through an exhaustive home test and 8(!) rounds with McKinsey only to have the position not fill and a note they might be in touch in the next quarter—again, that was two years ago. Another interview process dragged for more than six months where some meetings were repeated meetings with the same folks “now that the board has approved the position.” There is just no value on time. Yes, in the old times a lot of that would be face to face. But at least it was one day—not an hour here or there stretching out for two months or more.

    8. Networking is so important, now more than ever when companies are screening 100s of candidates.

  5. As an Elder Millennial struggling with modern pants, though I’d leave my comments on my journey (in case it helps anyone else – size 8P, hourglass shaped). I started by buying a pair of high rise, slim straight jeans in a dark wash, with just a slightly wider ankle than my skinnies. At first I thought they were less flattering around my stomach than my skinnies, but over time not only did I prefer the look, but I also started to think my skinnies were less appropriate for the office. I wore skinny jeans to dinner last weekend and thought they made my hips look really wide after weeks of wearing a different shape, which proves that you just have to give yourself time to adjust to new silhouettes.

    Then I branched out into wide leg trousers, which I’m a huge fan of and have been flattering on me (Spanx, Boden, etc.) and are fun in some of the new colors. Building up some confidence with these shapes, I went on an exhaustive search to find wide leg jeans, which seemed almost universally sold out in petite. I finally found a bunch to try on and they were an absolute disaster on me. The lengths were all wrong (too long or too short) and I felt like a blocky Lego man. Then I ventured into relaxed straight jeans with little stretch in lighter washes. I wore those yesterday (with a blazer from college!) and got a ton of compliments and felt like I was trendy. However, every time I saw myself in the mirror I thought that I looked heavier and frumpier than I’m used to since the jeans aren’t as form fitting. I think this is just another adjustment I’ll have to get used to, just like with the straight jeans. By the end of the day they had also gotten baggier since they aren’t stretchy (I forgot how often I used to wash my jeans in the 90s/00s to keep their tighter shape!), but it’s also been a long time since I wore a pair of jeans that were so comfy you could lounge around in them.

    So long story short, it’s a journey. If you’re struggling, start small and give yourself time to adjust to a different shape than you’re used to – it took me months to get used to the look of straight jeans on me. If something looks really bad on you, maybe skip that particular trend and find a fresher way to adjust a more flattering look (like relaxed straight vs. wide leg on me). I still can’t get on board with mom jeans or cargo jeans, but I am so here for platform shoes again!

    1. For me the problem with wide leg jeans is that the denim is too stiff to have the drapey movement that I think makes wide legs look good. Imagine Katharine Hepburn in wide leg trousers in a menswear fabric. I think that’s a much better style for most of us.

    2. Totally agree with the evolution of skinny jeans to not feeling work appropriate anymore after you haven’t worn them for a while. I have one pair that I’ve been holding onto “just in case” that I really could donate because I’m not going to wear them. Now that I think about it they probably don’t even fit.

      And 100% here for platform shoes, I cannot agree with you more.

      If you want another wide leg jean to try, I have Billabong Free Fall Wide-Leg pants in both black and white and I get compliments on them almost every time I wear them. I recommend them every few weeks here. :D They are cropped, so I think that they might end up working well for a petite. The only thing is that they come with raw hems, which I like generally however I do wish for work I could buy a pair that had a nice thick hem. I’ve thought about getting a pair and having them hemmed but then they would be too short on me.

      1. I’m getting so tired of raw hems! I don’t mind the look, but it can be very limiting.

      2. I finally got rid of the last of my skinny jeans. I thought I’d hang on to them for wearing in rainy weather with boots, but I lost a little weight and they were slightly too big anyway & I had to hike them up too often for my liking. I suppose I could have bought another pair or two a size smaller – just for this kind of weather – but I’m finding the straight legs I’ve bought since work just fine with rainy day footwear.

    3. I posted earlier this week about feeling like a Lego dude in wide-leg pants. I don’t want to keep a pair of pants that I might end up hating, but I also know I am just not used to the style on myself. It is hard to break the mindset that looking thinner is better. I’m glad that younger women seem to be less hung up on that than I am in my early 40s.

    4. I really like MAdewell for petite wide leg jeans. They have a good balance of wide leg and good on your butt, which can be tricky to get with wider styles.

    5. The best thing about the non-stretch baggy jeans I wore in the 90s was not washing them very often so they stayed baggy and super comfortable, and then wearing them until there were holes in the knees (they weren’t ripped for us back then, we had to do it ourselves).
      I doubt I would look as good now as I thought I did back then, though, lol.

  6. Tips for dropping your blood pressure back down after a spike? I don’t have any health issues other than depression/anxiety (quarterly med check) so I don’t usually have back to back doctors appointments. I happened to have my pap and a med check 2 weeks apart with a trial in between. My bp is usually around 112/72. A few days before trial it was 124/84 and a few days after trial it was an alarming-to-me 130/90. Neither doctor seemed concerned but I am very concerned! Maybe this is totally normal and I’ve just never taken my bp at a very stressful time? I have yet another unrelated doctor’s appointment on Monday so I’m hoping to see some improvement. Any advice on dropping my bp? I have no family history of high blood pressure, but my grandfather had heart disease and LOW blood pressure.

    1. I love trials but they are stressful! Normal for your BP to be elevated.

      Try to focus on a big reset for your body. Get more sleep, drink lots of water, eat healthy foods and avoid high sodium foods like takeout, do intense exercise or relaxing exercise or both. Maybe wait a few weeks before you take your blood pressure again.

    2. Reducing salt in the diet can make a huge difference.

      Before you get too worried, you may want to have it taken correctly and make sure it’s still high.

      Blood pressure is almost never taken according to the American Heart Association guidelines because it’s a huge hassle. To get accurate baseline blood pressure, you’re supposed to sit still for a full five minutes (so it’s time consuming). Then when they take your blood pressure, the cuffed arm is supposed to be resting on a table at your personal heart level, while you sit straight with your feet on the floor (this is obviously a hassle to accommodate because of people being such different heights). And no talking while taking the blood pressure (no multitasking).

      1. +1

        The nurse’s assistant never take it correctly. They are almost always slapping that cuff on as soon as I sit down after walking/talking, and even keep asking me questions while it’s going! Of course it’s going to be too high, for me.
        And if you are worried about it, and seeing the doctor (2 sources of stress for an anxious person)… that makes your blood pressure go up.

        I can fluctuate easily from 130’s/80’s to 90s/50’s based on how anxious I am.

        Next time ask them to retake your blood pressure at the end of the appointment.
        It’s almost always lower.

        You can always get your own machine from Costco/Walgreens and check it yourself at home using the technique they give in the instructions

    3. Reduce salt and alcohol, and think about taking a mild medication like a diuretic. Ask your doctor.

      Spironolactone did it for me, and it helped my skin too.

      1. Also, get a home blood pressure machine, one of the automated ones. They’re not expensive, and if you have a healthcare savings account, you can pay for it from those funds. It’s best to take your blood pressure at home so you can be seated comfortably for a while before you take it. The instructions with your machine will tell you what is optimal. Just take it a couple of times a day and keep a little diary of your readings. That will be much more helpful for your doctor to decide whether you need treatment.

        1. You can go to a CVS or Walgreens and get one today and at least have a few data points for your Monday appointment.

          I’m speaking from experience here – my husband seems to have white coat hypertension and had to do the home monitoring for his doctor to have accurate information.

          1. Some pharmacies will also just take your blood pressure with their machine. (Sometimes local mom and pop places will do this for you.) Mine is always lower at the pharmacy because my pharmacy is not as scary as the doctor’s I guess!

        2. There is some new evidence that it makes sense to take your blood pressure lying down for 20+ minutes. If you have a machine at home, take it seated but then lay down for 20 mins and take it again. If it gets better that is a good sign, if it doesn’t get better then your blood pressure readings are more troubling.

  7. What tipped you off that your parent was starting to experience cognitive decline that was more than just expected changes associated with aging?

    I recently spent a few days in a row with my mid-70s parent and noticed they kept repeating the same conversational topics, were doing a repetitive hand-wringing movement, got lost trying to find the bathroom, needed to take a nap midday each day, was more disinhibited and seemed to kind of just “be there” instead of actively engaged if that makes sense?

    1. My parents are mid 70’s and I’ve noticed some forgetfulness or repeating conversations we had last week but not getting lost trying to fine the bathroom in their own home! I would definitely get everything in order asap!

      1. I thought maybe it was getting lost trying to find the bathroom at a restaurant or something, which is not nearly as concerning.

    2. The most concerning of these to me would be repeating the same conversation topics, especially if it’s specific questions that are being re-asked on a very short timeline. The first sign of my grandmother’s dementia was her repeating questions that had just been answered. E.g., we’d be in the car going to dinner and she’d say “Where are we going to dinner?” and we’d respond and she’d acknowledge the response, and then ask the same question again 10 minutes later.

      Napping I think has nothing to do with cognitive decline – that’s just getting older. And honestly now that I WFH, I take a short nap more days than not, and I’m 38. Naps are great.

      2. +2. I have loved naps my whole life (including in college and law school, when I frequently did it between classes). I imagine I will be napping very frequently after retirement.

    3. Edited to add-having trouble finding the bathroom was at a hotel (where they’d been staying for a week) not in their home.

      1. Like, you were in the parents’ hotel room, during the day, and they were disoriented and couldn’t locate the bathroom? That’s concerning. But perhaps not if they woke up at night and were disoriented and didn’t know where the bathroom was.

        Also be aware that dehydration, or a reaction to medication, can show up as cognitive decline.

        1. +1 to your last sentence. I think UTIs can sometimes go undetected and cause confusion as well.

      2. Well that’s definitely less concerning than if it was at home! I guess it depends on the situation. If in the hotel lobby, maybe they hadn’t used it, or they used the bathroom at the opposite end of the hotel and got mixed up. If in their room, was it a big room, or did the doors all look the same (I know I’ve mixed up the bathroom and closet), or had they spent a lot of time in your room and got the floor plan mixed up?

        But really I’d trust your gut here. We can what if this all day but we weren’t there and even if we were we don’t know your parents like you do!

    4. Was the bathroom thing out in public or in their home? I’ve never NOT gotten lost looking for the bathroom in a new place (why do I always end up near the kitchen at restaurants?) but ymmv I guess.

      My grandmother never got everyone’s name right on the first try. MotherUncleHusbandBrother oh sorry CorrectName. She napped every day after lunch for as long as I can remember. She never had any real cognitive problems and passed at 96.

      The repetitive motions like hand wringing would concern me, though.

    5. that is definitely not normal “oh just aging” behavior. Of the dozen 70-somethings I interact with regularly, they all still seem like regular adults as far as conversational capacity, travel & community engagement, etc.

    6. My dad tells me the same stories multiple times unless I stop him. He is an extrovert who doesn’t have a lot going on in life. So I think he tells everyone the same things and therefore cannot keep track of whether he has told me the things. I’m not talking about high school glory day stories. I mean recounting that he had lunch last week with a specific person and someone made whatever comment. He may have done this when he was younger, but the frequency has increased as he has less to do but the same number of words to expend every day.
      Could hearing loss be part of your parent’s issue? With older relatives, I find they want to do all of the talking when they have hearing loss because then they can be part of the conversation without having to hear anything. A nap mid-day seems very normal with my aging relatives also.
      The getting lost on the way to the bathroom is the most concerning symptom if this was in his house.

      1. My dad has told the same stories as long as I’ve known him. It’s not dementia, he just loves to hear himself talk and has a few stories that he thinks are particularly great and people want to hear over and over again.

        I second the suggestion that some of this might be hearing loss.

    7. Sorry to tell you that getting lost finding the bathroom in a familiar place is definitely not normal aging behavior, nor is intense repetition. We delayed supporting a relative through cognitive testing because we wanted to believe it was just “aging” and “not getting enough socialization due to COVID” and it was dementia that is fairly advanced. A few examples of the types of things she was doing: she drove to her usual CVS location to get her COVID vaccine despite 3 trillion advance and same-day calls, emails, and reminders to go to a second location instead; she took an Uber to an appointment and then got lost in the parking lot trying to find her own car afterward; she would ask the same question twice within 30 seconds; she had absolutely no awareness that there were any issues whatsoever.

      We rushed to get her to sign a full Power of Attorney form when we finally realized the decline was worsening (before the worst of it that I described above) and I’m so, SO, SOOOOOO glad we did. It is my number 1 tip for you. If they are willing to sign that form, go to your state’s website and download it today and get it filled out this weekend.

    8. This would concern me. My parents are mid to late 70s and I think both have some cognitive impairment — my father’s showing signs of gray matter loss on MRIs (he’s been getting them to track a benign tumor) — but neither has gotten lost trying to find their own bathroom. Conversational repetition is more familiar. OTOH, I am not sure how much I can do as a child. We’re trying to triage more pressing health issues (heart problems, depression/anxiety).

    9. First thing, have your elderly person tested for a urinary tract infection. For some reason, this often presents as “dementia” in the elderly. Plus older people often don’t drink enough water, which can set them up for UTIs.

      Do some googling about UTIs in the elderly and you can see that these can cause a heck of a lot of problems for them.

      1. Yes! UTIs can result from genitourinary syndrome of menopause, which is incredibly common in elderly women and can easily be helped by something like estradiol cream.

    10. I wouldn’t worry about the napping. I’ve been a regular napper for most of my life, and it’s either nothing or more likely a sign of physical decline than cognitive (I do have a chronic illness). Getting lost is a concern, if it’s in a familiar place, and repeating conversation could be concerning, but I think it depends. Were they repeating things immediately with no sign that they remembered saying them 5 minutes ago? Or was it more like trying to come up with entertaining stories to tell and accidentally repeating the same one from yesterday just because their lives have gotten boring and they don’t have that much exciting to tell you anymore? I’d worry more about the first than the second.

    11. My mid 70s relatives don’t do any of these things, so I do think it’s worth looking into more, sorry.

      The caveat being that I know some older folks who repeat stories because they only have so much they’re doing in their lives and thus only have so many stories to tell

      1. I find that self-centered people of all ages will repeat the same stories. They don’t keep the same mental catalogue of which conversations they have had with which people that the rest of us do.

        1. Aw, some of the least self-centered people I know are prone to repeating stories. I think they’re just less self conscious in general? I’m more on the self centered side and don’t think a lot about other people, but I do think about how I come across more. There are definitely some people who will just tell their story no matter what though, almost like they’re soap boxing. Sometimes I think it’s something they haven’t processed fully, or something they’re telling themselves.

    12. I can come across that way if I’m not feeling well. Maybe it’s at least a good time for a physical?

    13. You’ll have the most insight, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

      If your parent is showing signs that they’re not as with it as they would have been a few years ago, that sounds like cognitive decline, and whether or not related to aging is a question for their doctor. Some causes are treatable (as easy as antibiotics for a UTI) and some are not, but the first step is flagging it to their GP

  8. It’s been a crappy work week. I found out my direct manager and a few colleagues I liked and respected have been let go and my company is going through a major re-org that will likely sideline my team (and my growth potential) moving forward. I know this is Corporate America and this happens at most companies at some point, but that doesn’t make this week any better. I had to get it off my chest here so that I don’t say anything too honest at work or take my bad mood home.

    1. That sucks. Having never been in an org that has layoffs like this (essential government worker), I can’t imagine how anyone is expected to not say anything too honest after learning about layoffs!

  9. Was there any update on the commenter whose friend wanted to leave the week long trip on Thursday?

    2. That was me and friend fully canceled the trip (“we’re just not feeling the drive” was the primary reason she gave). Sounds like they will take that week of still and do a staycation, but who knows. She paid her share of the cancellation deposit (direct to me) but we haven’t canceled ourselves yet because we’re trying to see if my sister and her family might possibly be able to come then. It doesn’t look likely, though, so it looks like we’re going to have to cancel too. It’s really annoying (I thought the mental labor of this trip was almost done) and I won’t be making these kinds of plans with her in the future. I really hope my sister can somehow come because she’s very fun, energetic, and up for anything – and not flaky. She would rescue the trip and then some.

      1. thanks for the update – though IMHO your friend should be on the hook for 100% of that fee since the only reason you’re cancelling is her flaky behavior!

        3. I’m not a costume jewelry person but this stuff is super popular. I do love all the colors you can get the stones in – there’s a very pretty blue one, that I would probably break my no costume jewelry rule for if I thought my piercings could handle gold plated.

          1. HAHA mis-nest sorry!

            Also I knew in my bones that OP’s friend was going to flake on the trip altogether.

      3. I’m sorry, that truly sucks. And sadly, it doesn’t surprise me. There are too many people who view established plans as just suggestions, even when money is on the line.

        1. Oh man I bought tickets to a very sought after concert tour for a me and a friend. My friend bailed so I just sold the ticket Ticketmaster resale. Even though my friend didn’t pay me back for the ticket they wanted the profits since it was ‘their’ ticket.

          4. What the fuck. Do not even answer your so-called friend’s texts or messages about this. They are not entitled to any share of anything.

      4. Honestly at this point probably for the best. It seemed kinda inevitable, so better she is doing it now rather than like 2 months out, even though either way it sucks. Even if she didn’t end up cancelling you’d be anxiously waiting for that last shoe to drop until basically the vacation. Sorry!

  10. Reposting for more views: I received an invite to a Consero General Counsel Forum where my hotel accommodations will be paid for and no registration fee. Is this legit? Am I going to have to sit through a lot of sales pitches? The program actually looks interesting. Does anyone have experience with Consero?

    2. People at my company do these regularly. The downside is apparently you have to do speed networking with vendors, so if you can suffer through some sales pitches, apparently the programming can be really good.

  11. Does Fani Willis being dismissed from the case against Trump mean the case automatically gets dismissed? Was there an option for her to mitigate the situation by agreeing to appoint a new prosecutor?

    1. Was she dismissed or are you speaking hypothetically? Just trying to be clear. CNN isn’t updating!

        1. I had a small heart attack…. thinking what the heck… how is this possible.

          Yet here we are.

    2. This sent me looking for breaking news!
      As I understand it, the case would initially land at the state AG’s office, and the AG would be tasked with reassigning the case to a different prosecutor’s office. The defense, I think, is hanging their hat on the fact that the state AG is a Republican and might assign the case to a DA who will decide to drop the case or take all the teeth out of it. But this is GA, and the current GOP officers are not so MAGA, and the voters are not as MAGA as some states’, so it’s not crystal clear that would be the result. In fact the governor made some broad comments recently that indicated to me that he might favor having the case proceed. But the AG wants to be the next governor, and if he thinks he needs to gift this to the Trumpy voters to get there, he might.

      1. It doesn’t go to the AG. It goes to the Prosecuting Attorney’s Council whose ED would reassign the case. That’s a guy named Pete Skandalakis. He had a reputation as a straight-shooter. I can’t see him tanking the case. There are only a few circuits in Georgia with the resources to prosecute this case. It would almost certainly go to Cobb, DeKalb, or Gwinnett County.

        1. Thanks for the clarification. That is a different proposition if Skandalakis is the decider.
          (I disagree with his decision in the Rayshard Brooks case, but that is a different and unrelated issue.)

  12. I’m an incoming summer associate at a big law firm in my city (East Coast, not NYC or DC) and I was invited to a dinner for last year’s and this year’s summers in a few weeks. What should I wear?

    Right now I’m thinking black sheath, contrasting jacket (I have a nice collarless cream one), and cognac brown croc pumps with pantyhose, but would be interested to hear your thoughts. Firm dress code is business casual.

    TIA!

    1. You’re good up to the pantyhose. I would probably go bare legged if warm enough. If too cold, tights with black shoes.

    2. what kind of restaurant is it? upscale steakhouse or like, farm to table elevated pub fare in an Insta-bait garden room?

      your outfit sounds perfectly appropriate. it may be a little dressy compared to what the straight-from-work attorneys will be wearing – more likely pants and def not hose – but nothing terrible about that.

      1. OP here—It’s pretty much exactly the second type of restaurant you mentioned if that helps! More $$ than I would spend on myself but $25–$35 range for entrees.
        I know bare legs are generally fine these days and I pretty much never wore pantyhose in my previous career (in a much more casual industry), but I was thinking I should err on the side of caution. I feel like the law is so conservative and sometimes I have a hard time parsing where the line for “appropriate” is before I show up to an event.

        1. I worked in Big Law from 2006 through 2011. I worked in DC and a middle-of-the country office. Our offices were all suits, 5 days per week at that point.

          But even when I joined in 2006, only the oldest partners still wore nude hose. I never owned a pair and I primarily wore skirts to work. I did wear black tights in the winter to be warmer.

          If this office is business casual, I would absolutely not wear nude hose until you want to and prefer wearing them. I cannot imagine they are expected.

          Good luck on your summer!

        2. I would probably wear navy or gray wide-leg pants, the cognac heels, a pretty round-neck shell or blouse, and the cream jacket.

          It’s the sheath and hose that seem a little more like a formal interview than a post-work dinner.

      2. I certainly don’t think you have to wear hose, but I wear hose all the time (West Coast, Big Law) because I get cold. Just to say, no one will frown upon you for wearing hose, but don’t wear it because you think you have to.

    3. That sounds very nice – no hose.

      FWIW, our new hires (DC regulatory law) have thought crop tops were office appropriate, so honest to goodness, anything that women across generations would agree is business attire would be heaven-sent.

    5. Personally I’d say hard no on hose. Otherwise the outfit sounds good. I’m big law attorney in Boston and no one wears hose.

  13. Am I the only one who thinks Kendra Scott looks like junky costume jewelry for pre-teens?

    3. I like costume jewelry, but I felt like Kendra Scott was this omnipresent trend 5+ years ago so just seeing it feels like a time warp for me still.

    7. That’s exactly what it is. I gave my 11 year old niece the necklace version of these earrings for Christmas and she was ecstatic. I’d never personally wear it.

    8. I don’t like Kendra Scott, but these comments tell me I am tacky and adulting wrong, as I am middle aged and I believe I have one piece of real jewelry (which I never ever wear because I don’t like it) and an heirloom loose diamond to my name.

      1. Don’t take it that way. I have a pair of CZ huggies from Nordstrom that were like $30 during the anniversary sale and wear regularly. It’s just the look of this brand in particular.

        1. I did have a successful fine jewelry designer compliment me on a Nadri set I was wearing at a dinner at which I was sitting next to him. So yeah, I’m fine.

      2. Late 40s here… Wearing costume jewellery is not “adulting wrong”, lol. I have some myself, including some vintage and antique pieces. I would never spend nearly $100 on a piece, though, especially not gold plated.
        As an aside, most of my real stuff is sterling silver because it suits my skin tone best.

      3. The actual Princess of Wales wears costume jewelry (and some of it is hella expensive, too), so I say pfft.

      4. I would never say tacky but I can’t imagine not having real jewelry as an adult! It’s one of my favorite things to collect for all kinds of reasons. If it’s not your thing, don’t worry about it but if you like jewelry and have been sticking to costume only, treat yourself!

      5. I am the OP Anon and will say to Anonymous at 4:35 that I mostly wear costume jewelry! But Kendra Scott looks like it came from a bubble gum machine.

    9. I get what you’re saying. I always think jewelry like this looks terrible online and also in stores when there’s a bunch of it all together on a rack. But then I think it looks good in person when it’s ON someone and it’s just one piece of jewelry.

      For example, I can never bring myself to actually buy it because of the above, so I have exactly one interesting pair of earrings (pretty similar to this actually). I get compliments every single time I wear them.

  14. I’ll be in NYC starting Monday and need to get a blow out. I have ethnic hair that requires someone who knows how to smooth. Can anyone recommend a specific blow dry bar or stylist? I’ll be staying in Times Square (not my first choice!) but am willing to venture out for a reliable blow out. Thanks!

  15. I’m traveling to Copenhagen to visit my son for a week in mid-June while he is studying abroad. My flight is booked but I haven’t planned anything else. Has anyone been recently that can recommend a hotel? Unfortunately my son won’t know his housing details until he arrives in late May. So I can’t narrow down locations to be near him. I’m looking for a clean, centrally located hotel that is walkable to restaurants or activities and near public transportation. Price point is up to $400 per night. I’m also considering going to Stockholm for 2 days. Is it worth it? Any recommendations for a hotel or activities there? Thanks in advance hive!

    1. I would definitely try to fit in Stockholm. It’s an unpopular opinion I know, but I was really underwhelmed by Copenhagen and I feel like Stockholm has so much more to offer. If you can’t find a way to fit in Stockholm (which requires either a flight or a very long train ride), at least go to Malmo Sweden which is only about a half an hour away from Copenhagen so you can go for the day. Malmo is nothing earth-shattering, but it’s a cute little town and was probably the highlight of our time in Copenhagen. (My husband and I joke that you know a place was bad when the best part of the trip was leaving the country. Sorry to the CPH lovers!)

    2. Copenhagen is pretty expensive. I think your best bet is either a smaller room closer to the harbour or a bigger room in the blocks around Tivoli Gardens/the main train station. We stayed at The Square and it was fine (not super exciting but clean, had a convenience store on the corner) and close to public transport and shops.

    3. I stayed at Axel Guldsmeden in Copenhagen which I really enjoyed. Easy to walk everywhere central. I think I paid about $250 per night which felt like great value for money. Very clean, but also had personality with a nice atmosphere. I had a four poster bed and there was a nice courtyard garden you could sit in and have drinks.

      I visited Stockholm on the same trip. I stayed at Scandic Gamla Stan, which was very central and clean but not as nice as the Copenhagen hotel, kind of old fashioned. Great walkable location though. I really enjoyed going out to the Skanska mueum and Vasa Museum. Best recommendation both for Stockholm and Copenhagen is to pick up a copy of Rick Steves’ guide to each city, and follow his walking tour recommendations and other guidance.

    4. We stayed at the Villa Copenhagen and loved it. Also second the suggestion for a day trip to Malmo. And check out Dinner with the Danes — they’ll match you with a person or family who will have you over for dinner in their home.

    5. My go to is the phoenix Copenhagen hotel. It’s about $140-160 a night.

      All hotel rooms are small in Denmark and the bathrooms are always tiny. This is why I don’t spend more on a hotel. The fitness room is ok. I run in the morning outside.

      Copenhagen is ok. Try the open faced sandwiches. I like the sandwiches at lagkagehuset for lunch/dinner. Their bread is magical. They have chocolate chip bread rolls which my children adore and would wash down with a hot chocolate. Don’t look at the cost!

      Go to Stockholm for a couple of days. It’s extremely expensive but it’s worth going. Copenhagen is a 2 day city. I also really like Bergen in Norway. In summer it’s just beautiful.

  16. Looking for a fabulous dress to wear to an event in which I’ll be giving a speech followed by a Q&A. I want it to be in the purple color family but not picky on the shade. I’m petite and straight sized. The audience is college students so fashion forward would be okay. Dress code is cocktail/fancy brunch. Budget is $500 or less. What would you wear?

    3. I went down the Karen Millen “window shopping” rabbit hole after the dress that was posted on Monday and would get something from there. So many gorgeous options!

    1. About a woman? It gives me the icks a bit because it (to me) has fundie religious overtones, but that might just be my cultvangelist upbringing. It’s usually used by men specifically to praise a certain kind of woman (a 19 year old napping in a field with some chubby baby nearby) vs. the kind of woman they don’t like (loud, assertive, fashionable, “vain”, expressive, unconventional looking, etc)

      It means (usually) natural, modest, and low key beauty. Like no makeup, small regular features, a kind of gentle thoughtfulness, etc.

      In objects, I’d say it’s about construction and harmony–the way everything about it just magically fits and the whole is better than the individual pieces. But it’s not dramatic, showy, or opulent.

  18. Please help me troubleshoot my under eye make-up woes! I am early 50s, yes the skin is thinner and I have some eye wrinkles/fine lines. I have very dark purple bags in the eye trough and inner eye area. I moisturize from the minute I get out of the shower and layer creams/serums/sometimes oil etc so it’s no way it’s dry in that area. I use color corrector (peach) and then concealer and then my medium coverage foundation. I tap each thing on. I wait in between. I blend with just a little triangle sponge. I have tried all kinds of concealer (from thicker to light to serum). serum works best. The problem is, no matter what I do, in daylight it looks…grainy? That’s the only way I can describe it. It looks almost as if it were dry underneath but I know it isn’t. It just doesn’t have a uniform concealing layer. Is there some trick I am missing? Is there a tool for blending that I’m unaware of? Is this just my new normal and it snuck up on me? I have tried not using any concealer at all but trust me, I look terrible. Really zombie-like because of the purple trough. Please tell me your secrets!

    1. I’m no expert, but am about your age, and if I put on that much product, I’d be a cracked, grainy mess regardless of my technique. It’s just what skin does when has to move under all that. Choose one product and apply it as lightly as possible (I have Lancome Tient Idole liquid foundation). You may not have full coverage, but it will be some/enough and won’t do what your current routine is doing.

      1. This, you’re using too much stuff. Do as light a layer under your concealer and pick one. I like erase paste and use it sparingly.

    2. I have easily irritated and dehydrated skin.

      My makeup looks best if I don’t use a separate moisturizer in the morning. I use a green color corrector and concealer, as well as an all-over layer, either a light foundation or a coloured moisturizer with SPF. I set my makeup with an illuminating powder.

      I have tried loads of different variations, but I currently like doing everything “wrong” the best. I add my all over light layer first, then colour correct as needed, as well as adding concealer. I blend these with my fingers, unless it’s a very runny foundation (brush or sponge). I then set everything with powder, with a brush, and add a second layer of concealer, blend and set, if needed. I like the colour corrector from Erborian, that one is sort of airbrushing, and the Nars liquid concealer. The Dr Jart green corrector that loads of people love, is too greasy for my skin and doesn’t blend well for me.

    3. I’m late 30s and if I put that much product under my eyes it would accentuate fine lines and look super cakey. I would try a single product thats very high coverage.

      1. Thanks for the input from everyone. I think I was just adding more and more because nothing seemed to work. I’m going to pare it back down, and just try one thing at a time!

    4. Bobbi Brown corrector stick and don’t use too much. Pat it in with your ring finger. Only put it where you have discoloration. Don’t use it for “brightening” under your eye. Just a small amount.

      Make sure you put some hyaluronic acid eye cream/serum down right before you apply it. If you want to go within the same brand so that the products work together, Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Eye Cream is meant just for this. It’s a moisturizer and a primer in one.

      I’d stop by a Bobbi Brown counter if you’re unsure. It sounds like you might need the pink rather than the peach corrector.

    5. I find that some products work well with each other and some create a grainy mess. I’d say you need to do some mix and match. I also feel things change over time. My true and tested concealer is suddenly super creasy on me. :(

  19. I wear a lot of navy – navy pants with maybe a patterned top that has navy in it. But I always get stumped on what jacket to wear. I have black and navy – but a navy jacket seems too much with the pants, and a black jacket just doesn’t go well. I have a camel blazer but it’s too formal for most of my situations. I am thinking something taupe? I’m looking for something semi-casual but not moto. Any recs or suggestions?

    1. Cream tweed jacket. Camel colored jacket. Other tweed jackets with navy plus other colors (wear with solid tops)

    2. If you’re going with color you can choose a color from your top. I have a slivery grey jacket I wear with navy pants. I also like cream as the other poster mentioned. Navy tweed is kind of my goals jacket but I’ve yet to find just the right one.

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