What to Buy First in the 2021 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

164 Comments

1. Ha, we were discussing this on the morning thread. Kind of underwhelmed this year. Lots of the casual wear seems very 2016 – are we not over booties?? – and lots of items out of stock before regular old cardholders could even shop.

   Even the *bathmat* I had saved to my wishlist is out of stock.

   1. Yeah all I’ve found is a pair of boots and one sweater. It is underwhelming.
      Loads of p448 and Claire v if that’s your thing

   2. Are we over booties? Sincerely asking, what is the style now? Are knee-high boots back?

      1. I’m so confused from the last year of staying home all winter, my thought right now is that my house slippers, Birkenstock clogs, are exactly the thing one wears in boot weather.

         1. I ordered a pair of UGG slippers that I’d been wanting for a while, but couldn’t find the style/color I liked. They were in the NAS, so score. But otherwise, meh. I’m also completely confused about what I am wearing now. Working some at home and some at work. Moving into a new office and feeling really temporary there. It’s so strange.

      2. personally, I feel like everyone has moved on to street sneakers.

   3. I think booties are still in!

      But now that it’s summer I wear sandals exclusively. Literally the only time from may – September I don’t wear sandals is when I’m running or biking.

2. True about the lingerie. It’s hard to get good deals on lingerie when it’s on sale because they don’t usually have the full range of sizes. I was able to order my favorite bra (Elomi Matilda) on sale today, which was great.

   I also got my teenage daughter 7 of her favorite thongs from Hanky Panky – since she was really little and wearing Finding Nemo undies, we’ve always had a tradition of buying 7 new undies, and we say “new undies, new me”.

3. California people, looks like the masking honor system might be starting to fall away. LA County is requiring indoor masks again and seven Bay Area counties are “recommending” indoor masks again. I’m totally in favor of this, at least until children can get vaccinated and we know more about how to protect the immunocompromised who are not vaccine responsive, although I’m not sure how much will change in my area. Even though I live in a highly educated, wealthy, progressive, high-vaccine-coverage area, we’re still seeing 50%+ masking at the store and other places. I think people have lost a lot of trust in CDC’s guidance, which is a bit scary.

   1. I am in the Bay Area and am masking indoors except for restaurants. Sorry you have little ones to worry about – I know that must be tough right now. (And for the last 16 months)

      1. I don’t, actually, but we do have a high-risk condition in the family. Thank you, though. We never stopped masking indoors either because it’s so easy and protective.

   2. We do not need to mask the entire population – especially given the very effective Moderna and Pfizer COVID vaccines – to protect children.

      In 2018-2019, 166 children died of flu. In 2017-2018, 188 died. In 2016-2017, 171 died. https://www.aappublications.org/news/2020/04/10/fluupdate041020

      Total covid deaths of children were 335 for 2020-2021. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm#SexAndAge

      The majority of children who die have comorbidities. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-01897-w Children with comorbidities less than 12 who cannot get vaccinated should wear masks. The entire population does not need to wear masks to prevent between 100 and 300 pediatric covid deaths nationwide.

      The amount of children dying or getting covid should be greatly reduced going forward now that a majority of the US population has been vaccinated (in addition to immunity of those who have had covid – immunity may not be permanent but is sufficient for some time).

      For the record, I’m a parent and 100% vaccinated, family is 100% vaccinated and 100% pro vaccine. I just don’t believe the risk/benefit analysis justifies masking the entire population for another month, much less another year.

      1. I get that. I am in a family that is 3/4 vaccinated. The 1/4 not vaccinated is a kid of 11, who I hope is in the next group authorized so that we don’t have to wait for him to age into it.

         A friend’s kid’s camp next week was cancelled b/c of an outbreak of 4 cases this week (age-wise, maybe 1/6 of kids there are the youngest middle schoolers who are not yet 12). I cannot deal as an employee with more dodgy routines. I am probably about to get canned for poor performance. I don’t fear dying of COVID even for my unvaccinated kid. I fear getting sacked. That is why I fear this continuing. My stress is through the roof and my health is suffering. That is also why I fear this continuing.

      2. It’s fantastic (truly fantastic) that there have been so few COVID deaths in children – but what I don’t understand is the argument that wearing a cloth mask on your face for 15 minutes in the grocery store is a huge burden we should try to avoid and weigh the risks/benefits for. To me, that slight inconvenience that barely even qualifies as an inconvenience is well worth it to save a few lives.

         1. +1 frankly I don’t know why we don’t do this to prevent the 100+ pediatric flu deaths every year. (Masks are very effective against flu – US had 1 pediatric flu death this year).

            These comparisons between flu and Covid pediatric death numbers are very misleading. As noted above, virtually no children died of flu this past year. Without the Covid precautions like masking in schools the number of Covid deaths likely would have much higher – how much higher I don’t know exactly, but certainly many more than a typical flu season. You’re comparing apples (flu deaths in a normal year) to oranges (Covid deaths in a year with business closures, masks, travel restrictions, etc.). Covid is certainly much less deadly in young children than in adults and even teens – that is indisputable. But I disagree with the conclusion it’s less deadly in young children than flu. Death also isn’t the only thing to worry about. “Long flu” is not a thing. Long Covid is, even in kids.

         2. I agree, but I will kick it up a notch and say that now that very good masks are cheap and readily available (KN95s, KF95s, even in children’s sizes) that the slight inconvenience of wearing a $1disposable mask that actually protects me from other people is well worth it to save a few lives. If you have any concern about this, Why not get a 100 pack of good masks for $130 instead of cloth? I understand for some people the cost is not affordable, but most people on this board can spend $100 upfront for 100-200 days of protection.

            1. KN95s are better than cloth masks at protecting the wearer, but still not as good as having everyone around you masked. I think we should do both – people who are vulnerable or worried about their unvaccinated kids can wear KN95s AND everyone else should be wearing cloth masks indoors.

         3. Do you realize that, on average, FIVE HUNDRED children die of RSV every year and NO ONE has ever blinked an eye about it? No precautions taken? That several docs have said maybe one or no healthy children have died in the Western world from COVID?

            To help quell your fears from my previous statement, they are currently working on a vax for influenza/COVID/RSV.

      3. The reason to mask the entire population is that you can’t tell who is vaccinated and who is not. In order to get the unvaccinated people who are spreading the virus to wear masks, we have to require everyone to wear masks.

         1. This. The venn diagram between people not masking and not vaccinating is super high. The covid deniers are both not vaccinating and not masking so they need to bring back some masking until they can get the vaccination numbers up for fully vaccinated in the broader population. One dose is only 30% effective on delta variant so first dose numbers are not useful, population that is two weeks post second dose is a much better indicator of where we are now. Let’s not fumble this is the end zone.

         2. For real. I was just in an area where 30% of the population is vaccinated and all local businesses were on the honor system. 100% of the people in stores were unmasked.

            1. Yup I live in a state like this. Even our public libraries have lifted the mask mandates (they were among the last businesses to do so) and now no one is masked anywhere, ever. 70% of people should be masked (even higher in a place like a library that caters to children who aren’t yet eligible) and zero percent of them are. It’s infuriating.

         3. I am vaccinated, and I’m not wearing a mask any more, and will not go anywhere that a mask is required except air travel. I refuse to constitute to constrict my life because some people won’t get vaccinated. Why doesn’t California put much more effort to require vaccinations? Mask wearing is a stop gap, not a solution.

            1. Completely agree. It’s the selfish assh*les not getting vaccinated who are the problem and I’m not masking to save them. That time has passed.

            2. OMG – you’re not masking to save the anti- vaxxers. You mask to stop the spread because the more spread the more variants and sooner enough we’ll get a variant that breaks through the vaccinations (e.g. one dose pfizer was 60% effective against original covid but only 30% effective against delta covid, it might be even less effective against the next variant). So that means you’re masking to protect yourself longer term by preventing variants which break through your vax.

            3. The selfish a-holes – do you include children in that? Yes or no?

            4. If every eligible person got a vaccine, we would not be having this conversation. It is absolutely their fault. Kids wouldn’t even be part of the concern because that would have stopped it. Sorry, but anyone unvaccinated who could be is a selfish asshole.

            5. So children and vulnerable people’s lives don’t matter in your eyes and they should stop complaining because of WFH. This site is shockingly callous at times.

      4. The deaths of children are extremely meaningful to their parents, you know.

         1. Also since you said risk/benefit, please describe the risks of masking.

            1. Please describe the benefits. Not the assumptions, “common sense”, or misinformation spread by the CDC and political actors for the past year, but any study that shows the benefits of masking. Indulging other’s emotional fragility doesn’t count.

            2. Look at the lack of flu deaths this year. Thank masking.

         2. Do you realize that, on average, FIVE HUNDRED children die of RSV every year and NO ONE has ever blinked an eye about it? No precautions taken? That several docs have said maybe one or no healthy children have died in the Western world from COVID?

            To help quell your fears from my previous statement, they are currently working on a vax for influenza/COVID/RSV.

         3. If you value the life and health of your child, make sure he/she is at a reasonable weight and eats responsibly. That is the most important thing you can do for them and their health…and to make their lives as long as possible.

      5. Let’s just ignore that vax rate is still so low in so many areas.

         And not mention Delta with those stats, shall we? Or that 1 in 4 kids and teens are having long haul: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/what-long-haul-covid-19-is-like-for-children-and-teenagers

         Or the immune compromised, where data is still coming in.

         Because heavens *masks* such a hardship!

      6. I’m a parent to 2 kids. The concern I have always had is long COVID, which they just don’t know about for kids. (Including heart/lung damage that may not even be detected yet in kids.)

         https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-tsunami-of-disability-is-coming-as-a-result-of-lsquo-long-covid-rsquo/
         https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-01935-7
         https://www.fox2detroit.com/news/ohio-state-study-30-of-student-athletes-have-heart-damage-linked-to-covid-19

         1. Ancedata but DH’s college roommate works in sports medicine in Austria and he said all the competitive skiers they are treating at the sports medicine clinic who had covid report having mild cases but their lungs all look like they have COPD and some of them will likely be out of skiing as a career over this.

            1. Why are legitimate cardiologists (ones who wouldn’t be caught dead on Tucker Carlson’s show) saying this is bs?

         2. Another concern is the family disruption and resulting economic disruption. If a kid tests positive for COVID, that affects work schedules for the entire family, causes quarantines, and has ripple effects (for example, the housekeeper will get cancelled and lose business that week, work trips may have to get cancelled, etc). It’s not just about death.

            1. THIS, a million times, THIS

               Talk to any working mom (should be parent, but let’s get real), especially in areas where schools never reopened.

         3. Brain damage too, even in mild cases: https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-01693-6 which is the one that worries me the most having seen several family members waste away due to dementia.

            I am infuriated that “It’s rare for kids to die from this” is being used as an excuse to give them a virus that is going to cause potentially lifelong complications. My preschooler won’t be going anywhere except school and the houses of people we know are vaccinated until she can get the vaccine, which is now looking like spring 2022. It sucks and I am so mad at society for making our kids sacrifice for the vulnerable for a year and then turning its back on them once they were the vulnerable ones due to lack of vaccine access, but a year of missing events and activities is worth it to me to protect her from a potentially debilitating virus.

            1. Again, legitimate docs in the states say this study is bs.

            2. What legitimate doctors are refuting the studies? I have not heard anything and would be interested to see. I’m not really sure how you definite legit but I know multiple practicing MDs in the US who find the studies about hear/lung/brain damage concerning.

         4. There was a study that came out recently that showed this long COVID is not a thing in kids.

            But myocarditis in young men and boys from Moderna and Pfizer is a thing.

            1. Actually the stats show that for young men the risk of myocarditis from COVID infection is thousands of times greater than the risk of myocarditis after vaccination.

            2. +1 to 10:04 the risks of heart inflammation are far higher with the virus than with the vaccine. Doesn’t mean vaccine risk is zero but it is outweighed by the virus risks.

               There are multiple studies that show kids do suffer from long Covid.

            3. “I’ve heard multiple docs say…”

               Very credible. Try reading the actual effing numbers.

            4. If you’re equating Tucker Carlson and CNN, you have a misinformation problem that goes much deeper than Covid. CNN and MSNBC may have left-leaning pundits but their news reporting is factual. Tucker Carlson just spouts off garbage that has no basis in truth.

      7. I mean I get that this is your reality but in my world, my standards for the health of my children are higher than ‘not dead’.

         Masking in crowded indoor settings like malls, movie theaters etc is no big deal until we get closer to herd immunity. The vaccination rate is crawling up. A bigger push on vaccination and slowing the roll on demasking and things can be pretty normal this fall.

      8. Any parent that is worried about their <12yo child getting covid should have their child wear a mask. Masks are an inconvenience – I wear them when required – but they are not needed when one is vaccinated. Yes, some people are resisting vaccinations. But the whole of LA county doesn't need to mask to protect the unvaccinated.

         Yes, my children are teenagers and they and most of their friends are vaccinated too. If I had young unvaccinated children, I would likely have them wear masks in public.

         We now know that the risk to most people is so low and the reward – less children's illness – is not assured by the entire population wearing masks 24/7. And it is a huge inconvenience to wear a mask 24/7 inside. But what LA county is gearing up for is true lock-downs, which is when the risk-reward scenario is put to the test. The impact on people's lives, economy, education are not worth it given that we have vaccinations.

         1. Masking is more effective when both the person spreading the virus and the person who wants to avoid catching it are masked. To get the spreaders to wear masks, we need to strictly enforce masking for all.

            It is also important to the entire population to prevent the vaccine-refusers from becoming infected themselves. Variants arise when the virus replicates in infected people. We do not want to allow the development of a variant that can evade our vaccines.

            1. I agree with this. While I’m just as frustrated as the next person that anti-vaxxers are wrecking it for all of us, we need to focus on harm reduction – and harm reduction means not letting more variants get out of control.

            2. Anon at 10:05, it’s a misconception that viruses inherently mutate to be less virulent. They mutate to spread better but they may not need to get less deadly to do that. Covid is a lucky virus that is spread well by pre-symptomatic carriers and people are contagious with it for a long while before becoming seriously ill , so even if it ultimately killed 100% of people infected it could still very spread well. Other viruses with high mortality rates like Ebola have NOT mutated into less virulent versions. You can read about this more online, but it’s a mistake to assume that all future Covid variants will be less deadly. Many people actually think the Delta variant is more virulent than previous variants although it hadn’t been established with certainty. Most likely the Covid virus will eventually have a much lower fatality rate due to the entire human population acquiring immunity through either vaccination and/or infection, but that’s not the same thing as the virus mutating into some benign version of itself. Source: I work closely with virologists.

         2. “Inconvenient” is not the same thing as risky. Just wear the mask.

            1. I want to know why she’s complaining on “24/7” masking—is she sleeping in an airport or mall every night? Lol

      9. Even if you believe that “only” 335 children died of Covid this year (most estimates I’ve seen are higher), only one child has died of flu this year. ONE. You can’t compare flu deaths from a normal year with no pandemic restrictions and fully open schools to Covid deaths from a year in which significant mitigation measures were in place. If nothing else, I think you need to roughly double the Covid death numbers to account for about half the schools in the US being primarily online instead of in person. We’ll know for sure in a few months, but I suspect the pediatric Covid death numbers will be a lot higher this coming year, with many more schools opening in person (and to be clear, I think schools being open is very important for children’s social and academic development, I just think we need sensible precautions like masks so they can open without massive outbreaks).

         If you’re talking cost-benefit analysis, I don’t understand the “cost” of masking. It’s nothing compared to death and other complications from the virus, even if they happen in a relatively small number of people. I understand that closing schools and businesses and even asking people to abstain from travel and seeing their loved ones are big sacrifices and need to confer significant benefit in order to be worth it. I understand that not every business can upgrade their ventilation system or hire people to do lots of extra cleaning because that’s $$$. But masks? Masks are essentially free and no big deal to wear. I would wear a mask in indoor public settings forever if it would save even one person’s life. I’m genuinely baffled that others don’t feel the same way.

         Also just want to point out that things like asthma, juvenile diabetes, and a higher BMI for age are co-morbidities. You can be a normal, active kid who has normally has no problems fighting off viruses and other infections and still succumb to Covid. It’s not like the only kids dying of this are transplant recipients with extremely suppressed immune systems.

         1. “If you’re talking cost-benefit analysis, I don’t understand the “cost” of masking. It’s nothing compared to death and other complications from the virus, even if they happen in a relatively small number of people. I understand that closing schools and businesses and even asking people to abstain from travel and seeing their loved ones are big sacrifices and need to confer significant benefit in order to be worth it. I understand that not every business can upgrade their ventilation system or hire people to do lots of extra cleaning because that’s $$$. But masks? Masks are essentially free and no big deal to wear. I would wear a mask in indoor public settings forever if it would save even one person’s life. I’m genuinely baffled that others don’t feel the same way.”

            A thousand times this. A basically free and easy way to save lives that I can do for a few minutes every day? Sign me tf up.

         2. Oh please. This spider story seems like BS but also no one is forcing you to wear a surgical mask – you can get a plain fabric one, made out of organic fibers if you’re extremely concerned. My child has been masked all day at school for almost a year now and I would have no problem with that continuing forever to protect her and others from Covid as well as things like flu and RSV. There is zero evidence masks do any harm besides minimal discomfort. And lots of evidence they reduce the transmission of viruses that sicken and kill thousands every year.

         3. Would ya look at that — another benefit of masks! Spider are scary. (Btw your dirty car sounds like a greater health risk than masking.)

         4. “How do you know that there are not chemicals in mask fabric that could be harmful when pressed up against a child’s mouth and nose all day?”

            Teh Chemicalz! Yes, surgeons and surgical nurses are dying left and right from all the chemicals in those masks that they wear for hours on end.

      10. Geez Louise! Another Trumper made it in here!

          No, Karens of the blog, this is what rationalism looks like. Take note.

      11. Per on Dr. Abraar Karan MD Stanford Infections Disease doctor @abraarkaran on Twitter:

          Long-term symptoms (>12 weeks) after #Covid19 infection in children were found to be very uncommon (& not sig diff than prevalence in negative controls) in this new
          @JAMA_current study.

          https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2782164

   3. My husband is grumpy about the indoor masks mandate (but will comply), and I’m not delighted either but of course will comply with the rule. FWIW, I’ve been in LA for the pandemic’s duration and most people in most indoor places (with the exception of my gym) have been wearing masks the whole time.

      I’m worried that my kids’ school district will decide NOT to go in-person, instead of making kids wear masks and pull out all the stops for ventilation and outdoor classrooms. At this point, I almost don’t care what restrictions there are for in-person school, as long as there is in-person school. And I’m furious that people won’t get vaccinated.

      1. Re your second paragraph, I will be so stabby . . . worried about that, too.

      2. Nearly all private schools in LA County opened for in-person learning about two months before public schools reopened. Having a second child basically foreclosed the possibility of going private, and I’d really, really thought my kids were getting a good education in public school until COVID happened.

      3. I’d be so frustrated too if they did that.
         I’m in the opposite boat, I’m worried our Republican governor will ban mask requirements in schools and public universities and it won’t be safe for my kid to go to her university-run daycare where half the teachers are unvaccinated. I don’t understand why we can’t just settle on the middle ground of fully in-person with masks (at least for the vaccinated), but it seems like everyone either wants to ban masks or move school completely online, both of which are just crazy to me.

         1. *masks at least for the UNvaccinated, of course

         2. I wish we could do that, too. School with masks > the minor irritation to vaccinated people of wearing masks. In other venting, I don’t understand why vaccination can’t be mandated by employers, ESPECIALLY school districts. Why is it still an emergency use authorization, and why does that matter?

         3. I think this pandemic taught us that perhaps we need to live in a state where the culture best reflects our personal values.

            1. The problem is that there is no such state. The only places that care about protecting people’s health are too expensive to be affordable.

            2. Yeah that’s my point – the blue states closed schools and the red states rejected masks. Neither reflects my personal values that schools need to be open but with sensible mitigation measures. My local school district is currently requiring masks for the unvaccinated this fall, which is very close to my personal preference, but our wacky state legislature may soon ban them from doing so. But if I moved to a more liberal area than my kids might not have school at all. It’s truly lose-lose.

4. For comfort and ability to stay on triangular feet, are Rothys (have bought round-toes before and wore into the ground; it’s time for a new pair of whatever I get) or Birdies better? I feel like the answer is Birdies, but not sure if that is for the washable ones or the leather/suede kinds.

   And does anyone have codes for either?

   1. Have duck feet. The Rothy’s pointed toe shoes work great for me. No problem with them staying on and they are probably the most comfortable option I have for my buniony duck feet outside of flip flops.

5. What do you do with hair and skincare products that didn’t work out for you but are past the return-by date? I feel guilty just throwing them out.

   1. I empty the contents and recycle the packaging so I feel less guilty. But first I try to see if I can use them up on my body. For instance, a vitamin c serum that irritated my face is working well on my freckly hands and arms.

      Don’t know what to say about hair products. I do know hair conditioner makes an excellent leg shaving cream!

      1. This is what I do, too. Or I let my kids use it.

   2. Response in m0d – repurpose them to body products.

   3. Some shelters accept this kind of thing, although I can’t remember if there are rules about unopened vs. opened. Probably worth calling and asking.

   4. skincareexchangeand haircareexchange on R3ddit let you trade, sell, or give away.

   5. Poshmark?

   6. Honestly, the only thing I’ve found that works is to buy less stuff. I don’t accept free samples for things I don’t need and I stick with products even if they’re not totally perfect. For example, I’ll use up a full bottle of sunscreen even if I don’t like the white tint. I’m REALLY trying to reduce plastic in my house and personal care products are the biggest offenders.

      1. I almost never use samples because my skin is so fussy, but I get lots anyway here and there.

         Back when we were all working in the office, I’d bring in a little bag full of them and put them in the ladies room with a sticky note that said FREE.

         They’d be gone by lunch.

   7. I put them on my local FB buy nothing group

      1. same

      2. This, or give to a friend.

   8. I’ve offered them to close female friends, or our sitter/au pair in the past. I think a FB buy nothing group is a good idea too.
      Depending on what it is I also repurpose – facial serum that breaks me out? makes a great light desk moisturizer that sinks in super fast! Hair mask which left my hair greasy? makes a great shave balm! Acid too strong/not strong enough? Great for exfoliating my knees/elbows or for applying to my bikini line to prevent ingrowns. etc. etc.

   9. I give them to my family members or friends.

   10. I use conditioner as shaving cream and shampoo I don’t like for cleaning (e.g. soaking the litter box). They could also potentially go into the guest bathroom or be used for another family member. I have really sensitive skin so I’ve just stopped trying new skincare products- I got sick of wasting money on stuff I couldn’t use.

   11. I also repurpose – shampoo and skin cleanser are useful for cleaning my make up brushes

   12. Depends on whether they were bought for fun, or just.a dud here and there.

       I have at times gone a little overboard with products as a hobby, and because I have sensitive and difficult skin. For me it has been more useful to actually throw things away in a massive purge to really see and accept the extent of the waste, than to try and make myself feel better by repurposing (sometimes that’s just making your trash somebody else’s problem, sometimes it’s great). That’s because that terrible feeling of “this was so wasteful” is more helpful for me to remember if I get the urge to buy new, shiny stuff, than the feeling of “I am responsible and finds new owners for things” also known as “it’s okay to shop more because nothing goes to waste”.

   13. Give them away.

   14. I throw them out. Do that. No one wants an open container, and it’s not like clotheing which you can give away. I gave away much of my pre-pandemic clotheing which I won’t be wearing, because I expect to move to the West Side soon, once our place is ready, and I don’t want to fill my closets with stuff I won’t use. I am leaving my flat screen here on the wall for my new tenant, and other things I would take, but Dad wants me to keep the apartment as an investment, and I found a tenant who is clean and wants to live here in December.

6. I’d also recommend the Boll & Branch sheets. They’re almost sold out in the simple Embroidered Stripe, but the Signature Stripe is also really nice and readily available. Both are about $100 off regular price.

   I personally also stocked up on some more True & Co. bras and some leggings and sweatshirts. Both Free People Movement and Zella had sweatshirts with on-seam pockets that I liked the look of, so I’m trying both. I love things like that for WFH (I am almost never on camera, so I can wear whatever I want) because I run cold and the pockets are just so convenient for my phone.

7. Today I tried to drop off clothes at SA, but their outdoors receptacle was inexplicably gone and they were closed (during hours their sign says they should be open). Then a woman from Freecycle stood me up to take my printer (free tech! and still people are too lazy!) and I waited in a parking lot for half an hour in the baking heat for nothing. Then I tried to drop off expired meds on the way home, but the bin at CVS was bolted shut “for maintenance” (why? it’s a big box with a hole in it, what the eff maintenance could it need?).

   I understand why people say **** it and just toss everything in the trash. I just wasted half a day of PTO to do the right thing, and got nothing accomplished.

   Paging shots! shots! shots!

   1. Blerg, hate when this happens!

   2. When I first saw an ad for Ridwell, I was like who would PAY to have someone come and pick up stuff they could donate or sell or recycle? But honestly, after too many experiences like this, the answer is ME. I would! I am trying to think about the “end of life” of an item before I buy it, but it just doesn’t always work out, and I do not live in a house big enough to keep stuff for months and months until I can find the exact right place to process it. And my time is valuable and the battery recycle place is not convenient.

      (Not a shill for Ridwell)

      1. Ha! We have a section of a closet in a guest room that is full of stuff that isn’t supposed to go in the trash but we don’t know what to do with. Luckily, our dump also let’s us bring it there and pay a fee for stuff that can’t go in the regular trash.

         I have to confess though, I think the planet is beyond F’d. I don’t think anything we do at this point is going to make a difference. It probably helps that I’m childfree so I don’t have to worry the same as a parent would for their child. I personally just think we are beyond the point of no return.

         All the stuff we talk about on here would have worked great if the planet started doing it 40 years ago. Now it’s just raindrops in the ocean.

         1. I am lucky to have a facility that collects items that can’t go in regular trash close by, and I deliver potentially hazardous and bulky items there. But since I know my city’s recycling, and most recycling, is a complete facade at this point, I have mostly stopped spending time and energy separating recyclables and try to use that time to focus on reusing or not buying things. Sometimes I make the effort with metals. Plastic and glass just goes in the regular trash, though.

      2. I love Ridwell! They started really close to where I live :)

   3. Oh, that is the worst feeling. I don’t understand why folks chat and make appointments to pick things up if they’re not interested. It’s so bizarre.

      Could you put a big box somewhere and save all those items for a once a quarter drop off? I’ve started doing that and it has worked out so far, although it also gives the kid time to pull old toys back out.

      1. I arranged to go look at some furniture once, estimated a time. Told the man I’d call when I was on my way. I changed my mind and called him to say so, so he wouldn’t sit around getting grumpy at random strangers ruining his schedule. Instead of at least saying “thank you” he accused me of using the process as a poor substitute for a social life! Can’t win!

   4. Oh I’m sorry. Craigslist free is what I do and people no-show all the time. I now wait until I have several responses instead of first come first serve, and I look for someone who tells me they have a concrete plan for pickup and they tell me their name and where they’re coming from. And then I go no contact and just put it on the porch.

      But even that doesn’t work 100% of the time and I know how frustrating it is! Sorry!!

   5. It’s amazing how much better my pickup rate is when I sell something for $5 versus listing it as a giveaway.

      1. This is supported by data! Sell tickets for $5 instead of free and more people will show up. Sell something for not-free and people will be more motivated to pick it up.

8. I would like to buy some new work tops but I am so over polyester blouses after a 16-month break from wearing them. Any good recommendations for work-appropriate tops that are dressy enough but are in cotton/nylon/rayon/etc.? I like the shirt featured this morning, but I’m trying to get away from buying that fabrication. It clings in the summer and provides zero warmth in fall/winter.

   1. For long sleeve blouses I particularly like Hobbs (buy at Bloomingdales for easy returns). Brooks brothers new things are surprisingly cute, I bought a few cotton/linen sweaters and a sheath dress/matching jacket just the other day on a pretty decent sale.

   2. I’ve been on this quest too. It’s hard to find but I’ve had the best luck at Amour Vert, Eileen Fisher (on thread up to save $, or on sale on her website), Tonle and surprisingly Old Navy.

   3. Here’s a cotton button-down I bought from J. Crew recently:
      https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/shirts-and-tops/AW248?mode=edit&N=PETITE%2000&NUM_ITEMS=1&cartId=c2c5ebf9440ef0b898fbb07252&merged=p&productCode=AW249&fit=Classic&display=all

      I got the navy stripe, and have been happy with it so far.

   4. Depends on how dressy you need to go but I find lots of linen tanks on eBay or Poshmark. My favorite brand is Flax. They’re boxy but when I’m hot I don’t want anything close fitting anyway.

      I like rayon ok but it just gets smaller and smaller no matter how carefully I wash it. And by smaller I really mean shorter, which is a problem for me as I’m 5’11”.

   5. Antonio Melani at Dillards has cotton poplin and silk tops at reasonable prices.

9. Is there a go-to resource for preparing for old age? I’ve been saving for retirement for 12 years and am doing pretty well, but should I be considering long-term care plans? I’m terrified of either saddling my only son or not having enough money for my care in my 80s.

   I’m a millennial, so I have some time, but I’m also pretty bearish on how much money will be allocated to these programs in the future.

   1. You post often about how rich you are, so you should be fine. But why not hire a fee-based financial planner to help you sort through these things?

      We got suckered into buying LTC insurance when we were in our 30s because we were afraid it would be expensive or unattainable when we got older. Now it looks like the company we paid all that money to will go under. We should have waited until we were decades older. I am also skeptical about how easy it is to get paid the benefits that you are due.

      1. I don’t think that’s a fair comment given how often folks post about inheritances and six-figure bonuses on here.

         But that sucks that the company is going under. It seems like a lot of them did in the mid 2000s after a boom in the 1990s. I also know a lot of people who got suckered in to whole life insurance which turned out to basically be a scam. I guess maybe the answer is to just save more. I’m not concerned with leaving my kid an inheritance (assuming he’s still able-bodied, etc) , so I guess I’m comfortable just spending everything, but relying on medicaid seems a bit like playing chicken. I’d rather learn about it in my 30s and not get suckered in 30 years like a lot of older folks seem to be.

         1. As far as I can tell, the answer is to save as much as you can for retirement, but accept that the nursing home may well get much of it at the end. I wish I knew where all the money goes, because it sure doesn’t go to the workers doing to front-line, hands on care.

            1. +1. How do the CNAs get paid 12/hour and it still cost so much?!

         2. I can’t believe the mean response you got, Cornellian. I got lymphoma in 2019 and now will only be eligible for LTC in five years, and then it will probably be exorbitant. But I do worry if someone/you gets it now the company might go out of business. My advice would be to wait until your late 40s or early 50s and hopefully pick a company that will last. In the meantime, save like crazy. My relatives with money don’t really need LTC insurance while those with less savings will need it.

            1. Thanks. Yeah, maybe waiting until I’m closer is good advice here. It seems weird since with life insurance it’s better the sooner you do it. It seems like there’s a big gap between folks who will just use medicaid immediately and those who retire with, say 500K-2M. Sorry to hear about your coverage gap :(

               I’m going to check around AARP and some other groups like that. My mom died so young this wasn’t relevant, and watching my partner’s grandfather go downhill has reminded me that I know basically nothing about this.

            2. +1 cannot believe that response. Wish I could help better on planning.

            3. I looked at it in my mid-40’s and the premiums were so high and benefits limited that I decided I would do better just to sock away that amount in cash monthly.

   2. 30s also, high earner, and I fully expect Social Security to be means tested before I hit eligibility age.

      There are a lot of great resources on Bogleheads for retirement planning in general, and some discussions around LTC insurance.

      If you’re a Fidelity customer, their planning tool has a feature to include health insurance and LTC in your retirement savings projections, and I’m sure there are dozens of other tools that do similar.

      We recently hired a fixed fee financial advisor at my husband’s insistence and they are doing some modeling around LTC costs. If you want an outside person to tell you you’re doing well or recommend adjustments, that’s not a bad option though it’s pricey. We’re paying around $3k for a one-time plan.

      1. agreed on Social Security. I use vanguard but imagine they have something similar I should check out.

         At some point I probably should pay a fee-only adviser. I do think independent input is valuable, but paying that much was just painful when I last considered it. Maybe I should reconsider. Thanks!

   3. I’m an actuary and an older Gen Xer. I figured all the companies offering LTC in the early 2000s would go under by the time they got through the baby boomers, so I don’t find it terribly surprising they’re going under.

      You can only save so much. None of us without generational wealth (don’t know if that’s you but it’s certainly me) can ever save enough to pay out of pocket for a catastrophic health event. At that point, at least under current laws, they can take all of your liquid savings but not your house and not your 401k. So it makes sense to spend your non retirement money first and then tap your 401k when you run out. That said, they can come after it after you die via a lien on your estate.

      My goal has always been to retire with a sum where 3-4% of that sum equals my current annual spending at retirement. That’s the rule of thumb I’ve always followed, and now that I’ve hit that, I’m working less and earning less. (I’m mid fifties)

      1. no parents or generational wealth here. I guess it’s possible someone would will something to me, but it seems unlikely. Order of operation does seem important.

         I’m on board with the ~4% rule, but it seems less helpful when catastrophic costs can be so unpredictable. Maybe I just err on the 3% side while saving, and cross my fingers, ha.

   4. I don’t have any answers for you, Cornellian but I’m in your boat as well. My strategy right now is to save as much as I can between retirement and non-retirement savings and hope compounding interest works in my favor. I’m not planning to purchase long term care insurance right now, but I have been researching it as I don’t want the gov’t policy required in my state.

      1. There’s a state that requires LTC insurance? fascinating. If you don’t mind, where do you live?

         It seems like “save more and hope for the best” is the majority strategy here. Seems like lots of us are in this boat!

         1. Washington- it’s a new requirement. If you don’t purchase your own policy, you’ll be opted into the state solution and a withholding tax to cover it.

            1. How much does the state policy cost? What don’t you like about it compared to the private ones? I’ve never heard of this and I’m so curious!! I’m sure I could google but I like personal opinions too.

            2. It’s been … fascinating… in Washington.

            3. I believe the payroll withholding is .58% of income. The downside of the program is the benefit can only be used in state and there is a maximum lifetime benefit of $36,500.

   5. We are close to retirement (within a few years) and are self-insuring for long term care. My feeling is our savings, Social Security, and my government pension will be enough as long as we can live independently, and when we need serious care (which realistically is more likely to be in our 90s than in our 80s, I think, but you never know), we will sell the house and the two rental properties and hope that will be enough to get us through. But honestly I feel like it’s pretty much impossible to have enough to feel really comfortable you have enough.

      1. Something this discussion has reminded me of is that since I don’t want to leave my son an inheritance of any size, maybe I should be less worried about spending down to medicaid levels as the worst-case scenario. I’d still feel better about having a cushion, though, because maybe I’ll have another child or have an accident or my son will develop some serious condition, etc.

         Maybe I should look at an annuity when i get older, and sort of earmark a large chunk for that for the peace of mind, even if it’s less than ideal in terms of maximizing returns.

         1. I would LOVE to leave my child an inheritance, but I am not counting on it and I’ve told said child not to count on it. Maybe there will be something from Dad’s side…

         2. Why do you not wish to leave your son any inheritance? Is this estrangement? Philosophical reasons?

            1. Not the OP but from my parents to me and my siblings: “if you have hardworking, successful children, they won’t need your money. If you have lazy failures to launch, you won’t want to spoil them with your money.”
               Not saying it’s the way to go (for example, if my child becomes a teacher, I would love to leave her some money), but it’s one way of looking at things.

10. Warning that last year’s anniversary sale version of the barefoot dreams circle cardigan was different and poorer quality than the regular, full price version of the cardigan. I bought my mom a full price one and she loved it, so I thought I would buy her a second in last year’s anniversary sale and she let me know it was not the same sweater. I was very disappointed that Nordstrom and the company would sell a cheaper version of the sweater for the sale and list it with all the five star reviews associated with the full price sweater.

    1. I’m not sure if that was just for the sale or if it’s a BD change. I was going to buy a robe recently and read a bunch of reviews on how the same robe had less fabric and the fabric wasn’t as nice as it used to (some folks had even measured and it was significantly less wide).

    2. Oooh that’s sneaky. At least when you buy something at an “outlet” you know it’s going to be different – you wouldn’t necessarily expect that on a sale item.

    3. The Nordstrom version is always different from the real version, anniversary sale or not. The sizing is even different (XS/S instead of XS and S, etc.).

       1. I bought both from Nordstrom about three months apart so this seemed to be a difference in quality between the regular price and sale versions sold at Nordstrom unfortunately.

11. For any St. John wearers — I know it is stretchy and forgiving. How is it if you have a marked pooch — does it emphasize it? Or just sort of float over and make it not such a big deal, focus-wise. I am having some GYN issues that are making me look slightly pregnant (I am not) and looking for in-office workwear that won’t call attention to my shape (which is not my former shape).

    Retail clothes now are . . . vacationwear? I am looking at things on Posh (so I can’t try on).

    1. I think if you tuck a top into a knit skirt and just wear that as your outfit, the pooch is going to be emphasized. But if you wear St John the way they show it, with a loose untucked tank that matches the skirt, and a longish open jacket over it, that is exactly the kind of thing that camouflages a belly, and is why a lot of menopausal women flock to St. John.

    2. For less expensive knits, you might also consider Min Wang and Misook. Each have pieces that won’t make you look like a drum majorette.

12. My grandmother lives in this massive, renovated farmhouse on about 300 acres. My sister and her husband moved in with her in April 2020. To be clear, this was not because they cannot afford to live on their own. Grandma needed help managing the property and trying to find someone do that was almost impossible given the pandemic. They formed a pod and went nowhere and saw nobody for over a year to avoid infecting her. Everyone was really grateful they were willing to take this on; my grandmother can be a bit difficult, but she and my sister have always been close and my BIL is super handy and spent a year fixing a decade’s worth of deferred maintenance.

    I visited recently and mentioned that she might consider selling the house and moving closer to services given her age and increasing limitations (for example she mentioned she is no longer comfortable driving at night).

    You would have thought I said she should consider killing her children. I was informed in no uncertain terms that she is the third generation to live in that house, she is planning on dying in that house, and that she wants it to stay in the family (and not be developed but she has largely taken care of that with a program her state has that allows part of it to be dedicated as open space in exchange for a reduction of her property taxes). She is apparently in the process of transferring it to my sister (via a trust) so that my sister and her husband can raise their children there. She is planning on completing the transfer soon because she wants to avoid the Medicaid look back period if she ends up “in the home.”

    That house is worth millions, and I can tell my father and uncle are not thrilled. But neither of them is going to say anything, particularly since neither of them wants to live there (or live with her if we are being honest). And it was never going to come to me – if it was sold I would at best get ¼ of the total value and probably not for decades (my father is in excellent health). But I am fixated on all the ways this could go wrong.

    Thoughts? Advice? I know she has a lawyer but he is not a specialist in this area of law (and neither am I). Or do I just let it go since anything I say will just come across as sour grapes? To be clear I am not concerned about my sister’s honesty or reliability. We are polar opposites (I am a single/child-free/liberal/atheist; my sister is married, planning on four kids, church-attending elementary school teacher who “would be a Republican if it wasn’t for that horrible man”) but she is smart and loves our grandmother.

    1. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here. I can understand initially feeling a little funny if you feel like things should be “equally” distributed or something about it but if your grandmother is of sound mind, this sounds like it reflects her wishes and is a good solution.

13. Can a wedding guest wear a patterned dress if the background is white? I see lots of cute dresses like this but don’t want to infringe. An example I saw today is https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-hiroko-one-shoulder-dress-0400013879716.html?site_refer=DFA_RMK_S5_CRITEO_AO%20BAU1

14. Has any one been to Lake Junaluska in western NC? It seems to be mostly a loosely-religious retreat area with VRBOs. As long as I can have a beer on my porch, I don’t really care if there are lots of Methodists (or whatever vanilla groups) are around. Husband is worried that he may be coming home with a sister wife or worse. It looks beautiful and cool and we found a pet-friendly cabin, so I’m game.

    1. I do not know whether to laugh or cry. Based on the VRBO reference I assume you are not actually staying at the conference center? (Which is lovely and would be fine even for non-religious people; it is popular for family reunions. It is also popular with church groups but no longer actively affiliated with the Methodist church).

       I am from the area and in the summer it will be 25% people from Florida with summer houses and 25% tourists from other areas and a bunch of warm, welcoming locals who know where their money comes from. There are a lot of outdoor activities – both mountain and lake based it is honestly one of the most beautiful places in the world (although I admit to some prejudice). There is no much else to do in the immediate area but it is relatively close to Asheville. As long as you don’t drive around cussing and loudly dissing religion, you will have a great time. You might want to either BYOB from home or buy it is Asheville since the local options will be limited. (There is an Ingles in Waynesville but its beer selection is not great; I suggest shopping at Publix instead).

       Now if you were headed to Santeetlah . . . (just kidding! It is very nice there too but further from anything and in a dry county.)

       1. OP here — the pet situation means that we can’t stay at the conference center. Some cabins there are pet friendly (and are on VBRO and also the center’s website — I guess they co-manage some properties).

          Spouse is the sort of northern Catholic guy in the south who is fine in cities but too many times has had people outside of cities explain to him that they are Christians but he is not. I totally get that this is not likely to be one of those places.

          1. Genuine question: how does this even come up? I’m an atheist born and raised in the south and other people’s weird religious nonsense is simply not a concern of mine. Does your husband go around trying to provoke people?

             1. I can’t answer for OP. But I live in the SEUS, and my experience is that people go out of their way to find out things about my husband like what his religion and ethnicity are based on his appearance (his southern European hair and complexion make him stand out around here). I’m actually a Yankee Catholic too, but I’m super blond and Anglo and it never seems to come up; no one asks me to explain my background in general.

             2. Interesting. I’ve lived in the SEUS my entire 30+ years of existence and have never once had this issue. I’m also of southern European descent, so I probably resemble your husband. I guess I just don’t get into lengthy chats with nosey strangers!

    2. Holy cow. Look up the Wesleyan quadrilateral. The United Methodists are known as the “social justice church.” Definitely not evangelicals. Y’all will be fine. Also the Methodists are not anti-alcohol crusaders. They are not controlling your grocery options.

       1. Just a quick note, the Methodist will not be controlling your grocery options. But be aware there are still dry counties in North Carolina, as well as places that do not sell alcohol on Sunday or after certain hours – even in grocery stores. That will not be a problem in the immediate vicinity of Junaluska but if you go further afield it can be an issue.

       2. The Methodists might not be – but the strong Southern Baptist (not to mention Church of God, etc.) contingent means that parts of North Carolina still have a lot of laws restricting – or in some cases prohibiting – alcohol sales. That should not be a problem in Waynesville (although they might have the 11 pm cut off) but is something to be aware of if you go further south and east into North Carolina.

          But seriously, it will be fine. Junaluska is very, very used to visitors.

    3. I have stayed at a Methodist hotel in the UK, by accident (the Methodist part, I mean). It was absolutely fine! Nobody minded that we went to the pub, and there was even a little kiosk bar in the foyer to get alcohol to bring to your room or a common room. The sweet Methodist ladies manning the kiosk couldn’t tell beer from wine, but with some pointing everything went well.
       There were some sort of religious service in the main common area every day, but very, very easy to ignore. There were also religious books and pamphlets and children’s activities in the rooms – again, very easy to ignore.

15. Does anyone have a backpack they like that is large enough to pack 2-3 days worth of clothes, with a separate laptop compartment, that works as a carry on? I’m eyeing the Fjallraven Raven 28L, but without seeing it in person first I’m worried it may be a tad bit small. Bonus points for a brand with a claim to sustainability.

    PS: I’m the travel newbie who recently flew and visited NYC for the first time, and the trip was great! I just despised dragging a roller carry on with me everywhere and will be using a backpack next time for sure. The roller bag was much roomier than I needed and I want both hands free next time.

    1. The ebags weekender? I believe it’s got a laptop compartment; mine is in storage now so I can’t check. It’s really well made and could definitely be your only bag for a short trip.

       1. eBags weekender is absolutely the answer here. I love mine. I’be used it for week-long trips before, though sometimes it holds more than my back can handle for long.

       2. I took my ebags motherlode junior for a 10 day trip in Europe and it was perfect. Held lots of stuff, including my heavy work laptop. I carried a small crossbody and this bag and it was all I needed. I highly recommend it.

    2. I love my Fjallraven Travel Pack small for short work trips.

       It’s 20 litres, has a laptop compartment that folds out (for the security scanning), and clamshell opening of main compartment, with three zip-netting compartments.
       There’s a great small compartment in front accessible from both inside and outside that’s perfect for the liquids bag.
       It’s small enough to go under seat in front, and will fit in small propeller plane overheads.

       There is a slightly larger size as well, I wanted the small one because it’s got a small back height.

       I can pack for 2 nights away, easy, 3 at a pinch as long as any extra shoes are ballerina size.

    3. This brand isn’t normally my thing, but this backpack is genius with how much it holds and water rolls right off the fabric—and in the solid color it’s great:

       Vera Bradley performance twill lay flat convertible

       https://verabradley.com/products/lay-flat-convertible-backpack-26991219?variant=34571177787436&cm_mmc=pla-_-gs-_-180907-_-shopping-low-priority&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_8mHBhClARIsABfFgpj8DejFrSLBijzHXdjNHlMzbn9ZPkDEUUKhjGu3RatuG2I-TIqlIfwaAiyyEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

       I ordered mine via Amazon for less

    4. Tom Bihn is high quality bags, and good company ethics. I use the Aeronaut for this sort of trip. It’s a bag that can be worn as a backpack, over the shoulder, or carry. It fits in all overhead bins (even the small ones on the 1-2 style planes). The Aeronaut 30 is probably right unless you’re quite tall; there are also two other bag options worth exploring.

    5. I do not have this particular backpack, but can sing praises to Fjallraven’s clothes and (trekking for days) backpacks. You will be in a good company.

    6. I have the Caraa Studio 2 medium and I love it so much. I’m looking at buying either the Caraa Studio XL or the Remus 2 for the same purpose as you’re describing in the next few months. I’ve had the Studio 2 for three years and it looks new despite the absolutely impractical color that I picked (ivory and beige). The waterproof design has saved my laptop many times from weather and clumsiness.

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