Coffee Break: Diamond Huggie Hoop Earrings, 10K Rose Gold
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
I am an attorney who has been practicing for about 5 years, but looking to transition to a different, but somewhat related practice area. About a year ago, I came across a small firm (3 partners, about 4 associates) in my area that is EXACTLY in line with my interests. I sent a cold email to the Senior Partner telling him about myself and my interest in his firm with a copy of my resume and asked him to keep me in mind if he had any openings. He emailed me back and said that he was not looking to hire anyone at that time, but invited me to come in and meet with him. I did so and the meeting went really well. We talked for over 2 hours and I was very upfront about my interest and he recognized that although I don’t have a ton of experience in his practice area, I have some good connections and could be valuable to his firm.
Then, about 4 months later he emailed me and asked me to have lunch with him. (In the interim I had referred a few clients to him, which he thanked me for by email). At our lunch meeting, he told me that he was very interested in hiring me for a specific department at his firm, but that he wanted to take a look at their numbers through the end of the year to make sure they could justify the cost. Then he said he would get back in touch with me, assuming I was still interested.
Well, it is now the end of February and I have not heard from him. He did send a tin with goodies to my office at Christmas and has emailed me a few times about a client I referred to him previously, but nothing about the position. I am assuming that he is not going to make an offer, but should I reach out to him and if so, what do I say? I am still very interested in his firm, but I also don’t want to undersell myself.
In my firm, which is about the same size and highly specialized, I would recommend asking him if he wants to meet for coffee or lunch to catch up. It’s entirely possible that he just got swamped at the beginning of the year (its a really busy time for us) and has forgotten about it entirely. Even if they’re just not in a spot to hire, it sounds like a good connection for you to have and maintain, and it sounds like he views you as a referral source, so reaching out would be completely appropriate.
Wow! Cold contacting an employer-I wish that I had your guts!!
Why would you be afraid to do this? What is the worst thing that could happen? I think I sent hundreds of cold letters looking for summer associate positions for my 1L summer. It worked!
Same here.
Me too. My first firm job, which I had for almost a decade was a ‘cold contact.’
Plus, this isn’t cold contact. This sounds like simple professional development which happens to have an employment aspect too.
Go for it.
This happened to me. Definitely stay in touch. I assumed their budget had not come through – like, if a client had signed on or a project, there would have been budget to hire me. But there wasn’t, so nothing, but I stayed in touch monthly with my personal and career updates – I attended this conference, I’ve been doing this project work, I have availability if you’re interested in a contract worker… and eventually it worked out. Like, 18 months after initial contact and meeting 5 individuals of the company later (ugh)
Have you considered meeting with other people from the firm? Or you taking him out to a lunch or something?
These are gorgeous.
I am seriously considering these even though I have never spent over $30 on a pair of earrings (chronic jewelry loser). These are beautiful.
Same! I wear pearls every single day but these make me want to upgrade.
Don’t get them at zales, it’s terrible quality. Get something similar at a real jeweler
What would you guys consider a real jeweler?
A jeweler who makes their own jewelry in-house, IMO. I would see if you can get a recommendation from someone who has had a custom piece made and see if that person does repairs.
I bought my right hand ring at Zales last year and it already needs to be repaired and I don’t know where to get it repaired because Zales is apparently even worse at repair than they are at normal stuff.
I’ve got winter coloring but really ruddy skin. I need the contrast of silver metals. Yellow gold is a color I dislike. Rose gold would not only disappear against my skin, I worry that it is something that wouldn’t stand the test of time (so in 10-20-50 years, I’d have wished I’d gotten any other metal).
I love rose gold. It is best with my complexion and I just think it’s pretty.
Metals go in and out of vogue – try finding anyone wearing yellow gold in the late 90s/early 00s – but real jewelry is forever.
These earrings look great.
For those of you who work in an office with large windows, do you reapply sunscreen during the day? My desk is positioned so that one side of my face is towards the windows and I’m starting to wonder if I should reapply it.
That is an interesting thought. I have read that most modern window glass (car and building) is UVA and UVB treated, but it’s true that some percentage of rays come through.
I will post a link to an interesting article separately.
http://www.berkeleywellness.com/self-care/preventive-care/article/my-office-skylight-frying-my-skin
Thanks. That was an interesting read. I suppose I could just err of the side of caution and start doing it, but I hate the feeling of sunscreen on my skin so wanted to avoid reapplying it.
Could you do a BB cream or moisturizer with SPF? I reapply a light moisturizer with SPF after lunch to my whole face, it’s a nice pick me up without that sunscreen feeling.
Have you ever tried powder sunscreen? I have very sensitive skin that reacts badly to normal sunscreens, but I’m oddly pale and burn easily. Powdered sunscreens go over my makeup nicely caking and protect my skin very well. I wouldn’t use it on the beach or by the pool, but for sitting at my desk or driving in my car it works great.
This is the powder sunscreen I use myself. If you want a cheaper option to try it out first, I know ELF has one that you can usually find at Target or online.
http://amzn.to/1Un2YeC
Hmm..I had never considered powder sunscreen. I’ll look into it. I have oily skin so maybe this will be two-birds-one-stone solution.
My love of huggies is as great as Kat’s but over time I always end up damaging the closing mechanism so they don’t click closed perfectly. I can usually bend them back in shape so they work… But does anyone have experience with taking them to a jeweler to have them properly fixed? I assume a jeweler can do something better, no?
Whenever I see the term “huggies”, I think of diapers.
And I don’t even have any kids.
I do have kids but prefer a different brand ;)
I just picked up a pair that were repaired by the jeweler in my building. He’s also restringing some pearls for me at the moment.
It cost me $20 to get the earrings fixed, but they are my favourites and I wear them almost every work day.
Have any of you had the Blue Bottle New Orleans style iced coffee that is sold in cartons? Is this a Bay Area only thing? They have it at Whole Foods and now I found it at Safeway.
I’m hooked. It is SO good.
The struggle is real. So is the caffeine.
Signed, Ol’ Shaky Hands
It is so delicious that I had to nix it for myself – so much sugar and goodness and I just can’t trust myself around it!
I love it so much!!! Also, I lol’d at your signature. Cold brew coffee gives me the crazies but I love it.
It’s all over. It’s too sweet for me, there are a few other big brands. My office in NJ used to have a coffee cart in the cafeteria with NOLA style iced coffee.
I’m going to be in DC for an arts advocacy event in two weeks (if any DC ‘rettes want to get together mid-week, I’d be open) – how formally dressed do I need to be for the congressional visits? Obviously no jeans, but do I have to go full pant suit? Am I going to stick out if I do a nice pair of suiting pants and a cardigan or blouse?
I live in DC and I always wear a suit to congressional meetings/events, even if the meeting is with staffers. A dark dress and blazer is also usually acceptable.
If you’re actually lobbying, you should be in a suit. Can be blazer with matching skirt, pants, or dress.
Are you a lawyer/lobbyist or someone involved in the arts side of the organization? In my experience, the former wear suits or at least blazers; the latter may do something like suiting pants and a blouse, though would not be out of place in a suit either.
It’s a organized advocacy day – I’m coming as a private citizen interested in arts funding if that makes a difference.
Definitely dress up. Suit or dress with blazer. If they’re in recess, the staffers may be in jeans, so you could dress down a smidge (dressy separates), but I wouldn’t wear less than that.
I’m out in Tysons, but could possibly make a gathering!
I work on the Hill. If Congress is in session or you’re meeting with a Member/Senator, definitely wear a suit. If Congress isn’t in session, you’ll be meeting with staffers that are more dressed down (my office allows jeans when we’re not in session, but dress codes vary from office to office), so you could probably get away with business casual.
Suit, definitely. Doesn’t have to be interview-worthy suit, but pant or skirt suit is highly suggested.
Suit it is then! Thanks all!
I’m headed to London in the Spring and wanted to get out of the city for a day/overnight. Would be looking for somewhere with a less than 3 hour train ride. I’m not particular on where I go, just want to see some countryside, have it be quaint/historical, maybe a few shops, cute boutique hotel/inn, and ideally a good restaurant. So far I am thinking of Bath for the spa appeal. What other places are good? Oxford? Stratford upon Avon? Is that as touristy as I imagine? TIA!
I was going to recommend Oxford, and it’s a much shorter trip than Bath. Windsor?
Oh my gosh, do Windsor! I didn’t stay overnight, but I absolutely loved the town and the castle!
Same! I loved Windsor. Spent hours at the castle, had coffee nearby, peeked into the shops… And it was only about an hour bus ride from where I was staying in London.
Tunbridge Wells or Brighton
I went to York for a day on my way to Edinburgh and enjoyed it. The cathedral is huge, they have medieval walls still around the city and a little market.
Just back from a week in London. Yes! Do Bath. The Abby there is wonderful. Yes! Do Windsor. I know the train system goes directly to Windsor… Have a wonderful time.
Ditto – Bath and Windsor
Under an hour north of London on the train, and the colleges are beautiful.
Canterbury is an hour from London with a beautiful cathedral, lots of nice pubs and restaurants and it’s a very pretty area.
Now I really want to go back to London…..
Hampton Court
Windsor
Bath
Oxford
Stratford….catch a play there as well
New Forest! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Forest
I don’t know if you’ll see this so I’ll repost on the next Coffee Break thread – I’m based in Bath for college (until the end of June) – email me on tinea @ Hotmail . Co . UK if you’d like any recommendations or information or so on.
I personally found Stratford really touristy but I think it would be nice if you found a luxurious spa type hotel as a base. Check what’s on at the theatre. (Likewise check out the Royal Opera House listings in London, it’s my favourite place in the world).
Windsor is nice, but go midweek if you can because it gets really busy on weekends. Although it’s close to London I don’t think there’s a direct train (I could be wrong) so it may be a little more faff than you want.
In the other direction Canterbury is nice and has tons of history too.
I personally love Hampton Court Palace so much more than Winsdor.
White Cliffs of Dover was a great day trip.
Canterbury was a great day trip if you want more of a town to explore.
I love rose gold as long as it isn’t too pink, I have a pair of earrings that are a little more on the copper side that are my most worn piece of jewelry. It’s funny how metal trends in jewelry come and go; right now I feel like silver looks dated and I hardly ever wear it.
If you wear rose gold earrings, should your necklace be rose gold too? Or is that too matchy-matchy? I wear yellow gold earrings only w yellow gold necklace and vice versa. Same with white gold/ silver. I do wear my platinum wedding bands and fav silver ring without regard to the color of my earrings and necklace.
Free yourself! Mix it up. Wear your necklaces together. Skip the necklace and wear big earrings.
You are the boss of your jewelry.
What she said. There are no rules with gold as long as you wear ALL THE GOLD.
#goldgoldgold
I’m sure I’m overthinking this, but here goes –
Saturday I am attending a c0ckta!l reception in Naples, FL, in a professional capacity. It’s for financial donors to a nonprofit, runs from 5:30-7:30, and most people there will be 60+. I’m 35, if that matters.
Normally I’d wear one of my many dresses that would be completely appropriate for this occasion but: a) I am pregnant. 4.5 months, but I’m quite tall so I’m not really showing, I just look big around the belly. And my normal dresses do not look flattering because they are for my normally hourglass shape. And maternity dresses just look huge. b) I fell last week on our icy stairs (clearly I don’t live in Florida) and while it is healing, there are still the remains of a huge, extremely ugly bruise and scrape on my forearm. So I don’t want to wear sleeveless/short sleeves.
How does this solution sound – skinny black textured pants and a long sleeved but slightly sheer (I’d wear a tank under) flowing top in white? Figured I’d wear a statement necklace, too. I know I sound crazy and this is not a big deal, but it’s Florida, and I feel weird wearing pants (and black pants, at that). I do have a three quarter sleeve white blazer that would cover the majority of my ugly bruise and I could potentially wear that over a dress if it’s just Too Weird to wear black pants in Florida.
That doesn’t sound at all comparable to a cocktail dress in terms of formality.
I was thinking that the earlier hours would mean less formal, maybe not?
I think that’s cocktail hour? Maybe not full on glitz but black pants and a flowy top is my everyday work wardrobe. I think it will look juvenile, casual, and out of place.
It doesn’t sound like an actual cocktail dress would be appropriate, at that time I assume people would be in work clothes or something similar. Maybe the black pants, colored top, and a blazer?
I don’t think that outfits sounds weird at all for a party on the east coast, but in Florida you might look like one of the waiters.
Ugh, yeah, this is why I never wear black and white together. Same pants with different top? Nix pants altogether? Perhaps wearing the blazer with one of my normal dresses would camouflage the fact that it is no longer as flattering around the waist? I really feel I need to wear longer sleeves because in all honestly my arm looks like someone grabbed me violently, not just a simple “I bumped myself” bruise.
I think you’re better off looking like you e gained 5 lbs than not being appropriately dressed.
Speaking as a former Floridian, if other Floridians are going to be at this thing, they will be wearing long sleeves too because it’s winter (I used to see winter coats out at 60 degrees), so you in a blazer wouldn’t be out of place. I agree with a dress-and-blazer combo.
I wouldn’t do the pants/top combo. I’m in Florida and have tons of non-profit dinner events, and they all tend to be on the more formal side.
Can you do a simple wrap dress? That would help skim over the belly and cover your arms!
I’m in Florida on the west coast, and I regularly wear black pants to events like this, along with a lot of other people.
Yeah, dressing for a professional cocktail hour is different than dressing for a cocktail hour for, say, and engagement party.
Most people wear some version of work clothes. I have had success with wearing my usual work clothes but adding a pretty wrap. I also switch to a clutch bag rather than my giant work tote if I can swing it.
Your outfit sounds fine but I agree the white/black thing could get you mistaken for a waiter. Do you have a different colored blouse you can wear?
Floridians wear pants, too. Even the black kind.
How does everyone else think we dress? Jorts and swimsuits?
Hey, if I lived in Florida, no one could stop me! Skorts and bikini tops all day.
I’m in Naples right now. Tons of cropped black pants everywhere. Just add some dressy jewelry and you’ll be good.
I’m an attorney starting to think seriously about trying to transition into contract management/contract administration. My interest stems from the fact that I really enjoy digging into the nitty-gritty of contracts in my current job and tend to enjoy tasks that other people find tedious. I’d also really like to get out of legal profession. I want a job with more regular hours, fewer (completely unnecessary) fire drills, and less conflict than my current litigation-heavy job. I’m willing to take a pretty significant paycut for a job that has these qualities.
Anyone here in contract administration or management? Is my image of the job accurate to your experience? Do you have any advice regarding things I can do to make myself a more viable candidate?
I can give you some anecdotal information. I was on the hiring panel for our last contracts person, and interact with him and his counterpart weekly if not daily. I have also hired other lawyers into my own reporting chain, though more on the compliance side.
In my company, you’d need to show me:
1. you understand what working in a business means- how to balance the various stakeholders that are coming at you with their 9000 opinions (eg. in our world, the sales person wants to get the contract signed, but operations, hosting, and the product management team (and potentially development team) all weigh in on SLAs, terms, etc. for a deal. If you’re doing partnership/alliance contracting, then you’ll need to understand the nuances of the agreements that matter to our business and which ones don’t). A perfect example of what gets my blood boiling is when our newly hired contracts guy thought including the IP with the contract terms was NBD. It’s NBD for a services shop (where he came from), but we sell licensed technology bundled with services. Huge deal! I got to play Legal that day when I saw it.
2. you understand how to communicate business person, and not like a stuffy lawyer. I have had COUNTLESS candidates that are so formal they would fail miserably in our office. I inherited a recovering lawyer into my compliance department and spent 18 months grooming her into a business person vs the lawyer she was trained to be. She turned out fine, but it took way more energy than it ought to have for someone at that level and given my bandwidth.
3. you get $hit done. I get that you want fewer fire drills and better hours, and I think you’ll get them. but if sales is trying to make their numbers, our legal team is SWAMPED the last week of the quarter. A good legal team makes this stuff , which means late hours.
4. Vague industry knowledge would be preferred. Demonstrated ability to pick things up quickly w/r/t offerings, technology, etc. I don’t like having to explain simple basic concepts to our legal team.
Thank you, this is very useful. I do a fair amount of compliance work (when I can escape from litigation) and this sounds very similar. It sounds like I really need to focus my search in one particular industry, however.
I’m the poster above–in my org, the compliance role is VASTLY different than the contracts one. Totally different departments. Totally different functions and skill sets. Contracts redlines (wait for it…) contracts for sales and for partnerships etc. Compliance monitors the industry regulations works with internal teams to communicate them and/ or make sure we are meeting them. Parts of compliance work with auditing agencies to facilitate our mandated audits.
And yes, have industry focus. If you come to me in my hospital IT shop and tell me you have banking compliance experience, you’re of no use to me :) Same even within healthcare- a pharmacy compliance focus isn’t relevant for say, hospitals or health plans. Once you have an industry focus, do some networking just to get your feet wet.
Sorry, I didn’t mean they were analogous roles within an organization, just that both require a lot of knowledge of the underlying business and ability to keep a lot of different departments with different goals managed.
My experience is in banking compliance ;). I woudn’t mind getting into health care, but it’s so specialized I don’t see that happening.
+1 I am a lawyer who now works in this type of role and this is spot on.
I’ve worked with a number of contract managers (at clients) in the past. For my devil’s advocate perspective:
Perhaps my samples are biased (because, after all, outside counsel isn’t usually called in on day-to-day, non-fire-drill contract management issues) but it seems to be a rather thankless job similar to IT, in that when everything is running smoothly, you’re not thanked or appreciated, but when things are running into difficulties, it is ALL YOUR FAULT and WHY ISN’T THE AMENDMENT DONE YET and WHY DON’T WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL THE VENDOR WHATEVER WE WANT etc etc etc.
You’d also be serving as middleman (or “traffic cop” to use a more derogatory term) for business / legal / IT / procurement / etc etc which can end up being a maddening pile of emails, meetings, and conflicting opinions to manage.
Thank you for the perspective. I don’t actually have much problem playing traffic cop (I’m good at saying no) so I think that might actually play to my strengths.
I’m the anon above and yes, contracts are the same at my org. All well and good until I NEED THOSE REDLINES YESTERDAY and I WILL LOST THIS DEAL IF YOU ARE REQUIRING THEY HOLD THE BAG ON LIABILITY a&$&#$%*.
As a contract manager who worked her way into a corporate counsel role, I say don’t do it – look for an in house contracts attorney role instead! Law is a super snooty profession and I still get shit from some potential employers about the fact that I started in house instead of a law firm. Also the assumption that this is less stressful than litigation is a myth. Since contract managers are hired to help bring in the revenue, the end of the month and the end of the quarter are really crazy (like 12 hour days crazy!!)
Totally agree! I’m in house counsel and most of my job is reviewing / redlining / negotiating contracts for our various projects. I came from litigation, which is unusual, but litigation in this industry, so it does make some sense. I like it. I do find it WAY less stressful than litigation. There are rarely fires, because my internal clients KNOW when a proposal is due or when they need to start work, so there is no reason for “last minute” contract review. Sometimes there is a short turnaround, but it doesn’t happen that often.
I’m in contract administration for a large company, but have an attorney role/title. I transferred from a firm where I was a 2nd year associate and didn’t take a pay cut (I negotiated for them to match my salary). Hours are regular: 8-5ish with an hour long lunch break. I can, for the most part, come and go as I please as long as I get my work done (I can come in late, leave for doctors appts. etc. with no questions asked). There are occasional fire drills, but they are usually valid (and I have the authority to push back on ones that aren’t). It is extremely rare that I have to stay late (I think 6:15 is the latest I have ever stayed), and I have had to come in one time for a couple hours on a weekend in the years I have worked here (I don’t even have a work phone or access to my email outside the office). The work isn’t the most exciting, but my coworkers are all pretty great so I actually do feel appreciated. I think the person who had my position before me wasn’t very diligent at it, so I initially got a lot of positive feedback just for making the process run more smoothly. I anticipate I may one day no longer feel challenged in my role, but for now I love it, especially in comparison to working at a firm.
This literally sounds like heaven to me.
One tip I can give you is to be upfront about your expectations in the interview. I wanted a job with better hours and interviewed at a couple of in-house roles where I was told the hours/expectations were the same as a firms – no thanks. I wouldn’t come right out and say that you aren’t willing to work long hours, but do ask what the typical day is and what the hours expectation is.
This is how my job was SUPPOSED to work, and did for the first year. Then we had this leadership / regime change mess and now, even though my “office hours” are 8-5, there is no flexibility or ability to come/go as I please, even though we all have company phones / emails and the company is very much a “work from wherever you want” kind of culture. It’s just MY department that got messed up. So that can happen. Oh well, I can’t really complain because I’m walking out the door at 5pm.
I am not an attorney, but I have been a contracts manager for years (defense, fortune500 companies). I generally work between 40-55 hours a week. There will be some hair on fire moments (see comments about BD and end of month), but for the most part you learn to anticipate the work flow. The companies in my experience have been very flexible on work/life balance. I really love it, and I think it is fun. Every day is different – research, compliance, learning about the products. You are involved in the life cycle of the contract, and you are involved in almost all department that touch the work. I think industry knowledge is helpful, but it’s definitely not required – you can pick it up. All of that being said – why not move to in house counsel? You’ll make a lot more money, and you can see the comments above for the workload insight.
This is what I need. Work/Life Balance. If ONLEY I could work 40-55 hours a week. I bill almost TWICE that much. That is why I am NOT married, and do NOT have a boyfreind. FOOEY! I am SURE I would be MARRIED by now If I had this job. DOUBEL FOOEY!
I’m in house doing mostly contracts work with licensing agreements. I had an extensive background working in the business side of manufacturing before I became a lawyer, which was a big factor in my getting the job because I understood the business aspect of negotiations.
Most of my day is spent on contracts, but we deal with all the legal matters, so there is also alot of research into eemployment, immigration, export, bankruptcy, ip, tort etc. Most days I work 8:30 to 6/6:30, but there are definitely some 730/8s at the end of the quarter. The other in house counsel works later some days and works from home alot of nights too.
I posted a week or so ago about my purse being stolen, so wanted to share this update since it made me laugh.
As I’ve posted before, I’m cheap and not much a jewelry person, so my “engagement ring” was a $20 ring from somewhere like Charming Charlies or Amazon or whatever.
I had it in my purse in my car when it was stolen, and I told the cop when he arrived laughingly about it and how it was fake and the guy was going to have a bad idea when he realized it.
Well the cop decided that was really helpful and actually notified local pawn shops that someone might come in and try to pawn a fake engagement ring.
And that’s exactly what the doofus did. The pawn shop guy told him he was going to take it in the back to appraise it and called the cops. When the cops got there, they also found my ID in his pocket. Moron.
So while my beloved purse is gone, the guy is arrested and that is a good day.
That is hilarious and awesome. You must keep that ring forever and pass it down to your children with that story.
Alas, the ring has been kept as evidence :) I guess I’ll order another one
It wouldn’t hurt to ask if they will take pictures of it and give the ring back to you.
They’ll probably need to keep it for a period of time (through conviction and appeal, if he doesn’t plead), but should ultimately be able to return it to you.
It would be a strange system if, when the good guys caught a thief, the good guys just stuck your stuff in a box and you _never_ got it back. So, no better outcome than when the thief had it. I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works if the rightful owner ultimately wants their property back.
I’m pretty sure you will get the ring back when the case is finished and it’s no longer needed as evidence. Just ask the police or prosecutor.
Oh yeah, I’m sure I’ll get it back at some point, I’m just in no rush :) Clearly it isn’t worth much!!
Yeah, my friend got his laptop back this way – it took a couple years, but they actually tracked him down via the ROTC/commissioning photos of him on it.
+1. Too funny.
Such an amazing story! Sorry you had to deal with it all but at least you got a good story out of it.
This is pretty great.
That is awesome.
That’s awesome!
Fantastic – good story KT!
Need shopping help, and I know you are the women to ask: I want nude (not black) micro fishnet hose. I bought some by HUE at Macy’s last year, but they don’t have them now. Ideas? Thanks!
I usually find nude fishnets on 6pm!
spanx also does nude fishnets
I’ve had good luck finding fishnets at a good price on Ebay. Just checked and they have some nude micros with a black seam:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Sheer-Beige-Nude-Fishnet-Pantyhose-Micro-Diamond-Net-Contrast-Backseam-Tights-/182010269441?hash=item2a60a84f01:g:~i0AAOSw8-tWYJmc
Oroblu nude fishnets are fantastic and wear like iron. I buy mine at Nordstrom.
I’m starting a new job on Monday and I’m sick with an awful cold. I can barely get out of bed! I’m really hoping I’ll be well on Monday, it won’t make a good first impression to be coughing and miserable…Anyone have any home remedies they recommend? I’m already taking vitamins, tons of fluids, tea, meds, soup, hot showers, naps, etc.
There’s this tea I found at, I think, Whole Foods called “Gypsy Cold Remedy” – I do not know what is in it, but it works like magic on colds.
Honestly, just don’t get out of bed. That’s the only thing that helps for me. Shower, put on clean PJs, get back into bed. Eat your meals there, nap as many hours as you can possibly stand, and try a humidifier if you can get one quickly. Read instead of Netflix, since the flashing screen keeps me awake far more than a book will. Vicks on your chest also helps. On your first day, use some pseudoephedrin (sudafed or Mucinex-D) to keep the sniffles at bay, use hand sanitizer as often as possible, tell people you’re getting over a cold so you don’t want to shake their hands, and if you’re still feeling this terrible, don’t go in, because it probably means you have something worse than a cold.
-Nurse Baconpancakes
Thank you Nurse :) I have loads of experience with bronchitis, sinus infections, etc, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t anything more serious than a bad cold, luckily. Good point about not germing up the office on Monday, I will remember that. I do have a humidifier running!
Use a neti-pot and drink a lot of tea made with fresh ginger and garlic. Also, the lemon ginger Kevita drinks are really good and so gingery.
Ahhh! This happened to me at my current job. I medicated as much as I could (taking max doses of pseudoephedrin during the day helped) and drank a ton of liquids so my voice sounded more normal. It was super embarrassing, but I survived and people understood. Hoping you feel better by Monday, but don’t worry – this too shall pass.
Piggy-backing off of this morning’s hiking/national parks thread – has anyone here done a trip to the Acadia area in Maine with a dog?
H and I are planning a vacation for June, and part of our vacation needs to include a weekend visit to see family in NH (who have requested that we bring the dog because they want to meet him), so we were thinking Maine would be a good idea, because we don’t want to stay with/near relatives all week. The internet keeps telling me that Acadia/Bar Harbor are *the best* for dogs – is that accurate? Does anyone have any alternative suggestions?
Basically, we’re looking for a cabin in the woods, not too far from a small town or two, with nature access. Our dog only weighs five pounds but is a hiker (he can do up to three miles under his own power if the trail is relatively flat, and we have a backpack for him to ride in if he gets tired), and, as cheesy as it sounds, we’re excited to spend an uninterrupted week with him exploring (he’s a puppy mill rescue and gets such a kick out of new things, it’s way more fun than I ever expected to take him places). What say you, Hive? Is Acadia our best option? Are there other parts of New England we should consider?
Acadia is beautiful. If you go, I would recommend getting over to the part of the park that is not on MDI on Schoodic Peninsula to escape the crowds.
I love, love, love Acadia. I didn’t bring my dog, but I saw dogs there.
We didn’t take our dog to Acadia, but we did spend a day in Bar Harbor with him. Super dog friendly. Every store, clothing, food, whatever, not only allowed dogs, but many of the shop employees came over to say hello and give him biscuits. It was amazing.
YES YES YES! Acadia is the best place for dogs. They are allowed on ALL trails except maybe a couple that have ladders and wouldn’t be good for dogs anyway. There are restaurants in the park that allow dogs like Jordan Pond House (plus tons of dog friendly restaurants in Bar Harbor and elsewhere on MDI). I’ve taken my dog all over the US and Bar Harbor/Acadia is the most dog-friendly part of the US, in my opinion. Plus, it’s a beautiful place that’s absolutely worth visiting even if you don’t have a pup.
Has anybody here ever been to the Inn at Little Washington? (Both the inn itself and the restaurant)
I hear great reviews but feel like I see it very much as a couples’ thing. As somebody who seriously appreciates and enjoys food, would it be weird to go alone or with a close friend (of either gender)?
I haven’t been, but someone wrote in to Tom Sietsema’s (the Post food critic) weekly chat this exact question. He said absolutely not, and a few people even wrote in to suggest that a bunch of singles make a reservation and go together. The chat was from a few weeks ago but I don’t remember the exact date – try to Google it!
(To clarify, I mean he said it’s absolutely not weird. In short, go for it!)
I have been to the restaurant. My husband and I went with another couple friend. I did not feel like the vibe was so romantic that singles/friends would feel out of place. I did not see any solo diners, so I’m not sure how the restaurant usually handles it.
Haven’t been myself, but I know groups of non-romantically-involved family friends who go regularly.
Siblings and I took my mom & her husband there for a milestone birthday. It was a celebration, but certainly not romantic. Food was great! Go and have fun!
An acquaintance of mine went solo. They sat her at the Chef’s Table and gave her extra courses, and she said it was an amazing experience that was better than The French Laundry. She dines alone a lot though, so I’m sure it depends on your comfort level with solo dining. But I say go for it!
I need help with a first world career problem. I’m a senior Biglaw associate. I’ve been told (by people who decide these things) I will make partner next year when I am up. The problem: I’m not sure it’s what I want, and I’m not sure what to say when colleagues ask me if I want to make partner. I like my job but I don’t care about the title, and making partner would result in a pay cut for at least a couple of years because I wouldn’t receive bonuses. I feel like not pretending that I am committed to making partner would be career limiting, but I don’t enjoy lying to people. I also feel (due to lack of self-confidence but also because making partner is hard and political) like I am setting myself up for an embarrassing failure if I say I want to make partner and then I don’t. (I wouldn’t be pushed out if I don’t make it so I’d still work with these people.) Thoughts? Should I just suck it up and lie until I am less conflicted about what I want to do with my career?
Do you know what you DO want? Is money the only negative of making partner? Do you anticipate making a move at some point away from the firm?
I think the people who are asking want to hear an enthusiastic “yes!” … and if they don’t hear that, your odds of promotion drop. Don’t be worried about embarrassment if you don’t make partner after telling someone you want it -trust me, there are a lot of people who want it and don’t get it. If your answer is “yes, I want it (for now)…” say that and leave out the “for now”. If your concerns are something that CA be worked thru — e.g., feeling like you’re not ready yet — talk to a trusted mentor to try to get a reality check. Good luck.
Good questions. The biggest negative for me is that I am an introvert and I hate doing business development. I am good enough at it but it makes me really unhappy and I would much rather spend my time practicing law, and I recognize that making partner would require me to spend much more time on bus dev.
As to what I do want, I am still figuring that out. Due to spouse’s career,I had expected to move to a city where my firm does not have offices, and to make a career switch, before this point. Things changed with spouse’s career, so that seems unlikely now.
Are you sure you’re not just telling yourself you don’t want it because you don’t want to be disappointed if you don’t get it?
I am of the opinion that in any field, you need to take the promotions as they come. People wouldn’t want to make partner if the benefit were in title only. They do it for their future and for financial reasons.
Make sure your feelings are based on real things and not just fear of rejection.
I know sooooo many lawyers who don’t want to make partners but are working in big law. Just look at your boss and think, do I want to be them? I think law is funny that way.
Lie until it’s necessary to say something.
I accepted a job I knew wasn’t right for me and knew I’d use as a stepping stone. They’re grooming me to be here long-term, but that’s not my plan. There are certainly days when I want to let on that I’ve got one foot out the door, but to what end? The people are friendly, I have a paycheck. Saying I want out doesn’t get me anywhere until I have my exit strategy in place, so I fake it. To use the phrase differently, “don’t leave until you leave.”
I mean, if you’re parsing words, you do want to “make” partner – be promoted – you’re just not sure you want to “be” partner long-term, right? So, you would not be lying by being committed, or enthusiastic, about “making” partner.
Just one way to see it. You’re NOT lying or pretending, you’re figuring things out… to me it reminds me of junior/senior year of high school about colleges or first year of college about majors, “well I’d love to go to x (if it works out)” or “I’d love to major in underwater basket-weaving (if I could pass the impossible pre-req)…”
Thanks, this is a helpful way to reframe it.
I think you lie because saying you want to make partner is the thing you are supposed to say at work. You should also watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This is the first episode.
I would give anything for your problem.
I realize I am fortunate to have this problem.
When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, don’t. So, if you’re asked: Do you want to become partner? You could say: Wouldn’t that be something? Or: What an honor that would be! Neither of those are lies. If you’re asked by someone you know actually needs an answer, you can give an equally truthful response: I’m very committed to the firm and would be honored to make partner. I do have some questions about the early years and what it means from a financial commitment. (I’d be less worried about losing a bonus and more about any capital contribution you have to make)
If you’re in a truly Big Law competitive firm where there’s only one tier of partnership, there’s no shame in not making it the first year you’re up. It’s an incredibly political game and driven by forces outside of your control. And, thus, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you don’t make it.
If you enjoy what you do, I’d put your hat in the ring and get the partner title. A time will come that your lack of business-generating skills/motivation will catch up to you and the fact that you will have made partner will make you more marketable in law and out (shows drive, etc.).
Thanks, this is helpful. I’m going to work on my non-response. In the past, I’ve basically said I was committed to the firm and then asked a semi-related question of the person I was talking to, but with reviews coming up I am preparing for direct questions from the management of my practice group.
I have some dental implants (cap and veneer) on my front teeth thanks to a childhood injury. I don’t love how my current ones look. Does anyone have a recommendation for a truly awesome dentist in the NYC area (Queens and Long Island ok) who can fix ugly teeth?
For normal dentistry stuff, I love my dentist, George Reskakis, at Madison Dental Group. They have cosmetic dentistry services as well, but I’ve never used them for that.
Dr. Kaminksy on east 56st. His partner Dr. Kafko is also good. Had 2 implants done here, very happy with the work.
Just needed to post this somewhere: my boss is usually a huge micro-manager and tends to make me feel incompetent/suffocated because I can never get anything done. He’s been really busy with a couple other files this week so has basically left me to my own devices to get stuff done on other files and it’s been great. I’ve gotten so much work done and have gotten a bunch of positive feedback from other lawyers. I enjoy the reminder that I can actually do my job.
YAY!
YAY! I’ve got one of these too. It’s hard to get motivated to do anything at all, isn’t it?
What are the things you should do first or not do when you move into a newly purchased home? I’m hopefully about to buy and trying to think about what repairs or little upgrades I’ll want to do first.
Do you paint before you move in, or wait till your furniture is in place to see how it looks and how the light hits? Any repairs you always make first, like switching out the light plates or changing the locks?
I would clean carpets before you move furniture in
Paint if you can, it’s easier to not have furniture in the way
Definitely change the locks
+1,000,000 everything is easier when the furniture is not already in the room.
Always change the locks. Double-key deadbolts.
Change the code to the alarm system.
We’ve purchased three houses from original owners and moved right in — we do all of our own renovation/remodeling work and cannot afford the time and expense of renting while we do the work on the weekends/holidays. We tend to have everything done room by room — emptying the room to do the work. It is just easier, even if it is “Just Painting.”
I highly recommend staying where you ware and doing the flooring and paint first.
Changing out sinks/toilets can be done later on, if need be.
In contrast, I would think about changing the main water shut off valve from the city supply to the house … especially if it is older or one that turns clockwise. (We have needed to do so and had the old shut off handle simply crumble in our hands! Experience.) Ball valves that have a simple lever for on/off are better. Also applies to hose bibs which are where one would attach a garden hose to the faucet on the wall of the house. Yeah, not essential, but if you have a plumber or handyman out to do something, it’s worth it. Finally, you can have similar quarter-turn shut off valves put into the kitchen and bath sinks. If/when a pipe leaks or bursts, you can just shut off the water to that sink. Faster and easier and you still have water supply to the rest of the house.
You say it is a “New” house, but if it is only “new” to you, I would do these small changes to plumbing.
I would also give a keen eye to the shrubbery around the house, especially with spring approaching. You may want to have it trimmed back for security reasons…again, not vital, but timely.
Finally, be sure there is adequate signage on the house/curb for address numbers. It’s something people don’t think about, but if you have an emergency or your friends and relatives can’t find your house … especially check it out at dusk and evening times.
Happy purchasing and moving!
This is so helpful! Thank you! Yes, the house is only new to me.
Basically anything that came up in your inspections should be addressed now. If it was an as-is sale with no inspections, get an inspection.
Deal with walls and floors before you move furniture in. That means refinishing floors if needed, or having tile cleaned and re-sealed in addition to the carpet cleaning addressed above. I would definitely paint if the sellers didn’t do it. Go for a neutral.
Get your furnace/air conditioner serviced. There is usually a service package that includes an inspection plus maintenance like changing filters and making adjustments.
Clean the oven and refrigerator if not already done. Consider a new garbage disposal. They are not expensive.
Get signed up for garbage service and utilities. Do your mail forwarding stuff.
Buy a bottle of champagne for your first night in the house. Congratulations and enjoy!
take a very close look at floors — it can be a PITA to redo them later (because you basically have to pack everything and move it to another room while the floors are being done — which can be a problem if it’s your entire apartment).
I’m honored that my post got a Kat G reply!!! This is almost as exciting as buying my first place (almost). Thanks!
I’ve heard that several times about floors. Current contender has some ok carpet that I’d really like to replace with hardwoods, but the carpet is ok. Sounds like I should just bite the bullet and have the hardwoods put in before moving.
Man, I hate painting when I have to move all my stuff! So I’d do that as well, along with all the other recommendations. That being said, a good painting / flooring crew will just charge you more to do it for you, and that can be worth it.
Deal with any potential water pressure issues.
If you paint nothing else, re-paint the closets before you move in, especially if there is even a tiny hint of damp/mildewy smell. People almost never paint closets when painting the rest of the house, and they can get musty and gross, especially if a smoker lived there. Fresh paint with mildecide will help a lot.
Painting in general is easier before you move in, however if you aren’t doing all neutral and are buying new rugs, window treatments, bedding or furniture it’s a lot easier to match the paint to a pattern or fabric than the other way around.
We paid $100 for someone to vacuum out all of the heater vents in the house before we moved in. The house had been through a fairly extensive remodel, and there was a ton of construction dust and dog / cat hair that had collected in there over the years.
Better to do before furniture was in because all vents were visible, and it was dusty (though the crew swept and mopped before they left.)
Are there any Biglaw attorneys in fund formation practice groups on here? I’m currently at a midsize firm, junior associate, where this is a substantial part of my practice and for a variety of reasons am looking to move out of my current firm and city (to NYC). I don’t know anyone personally who also does this kind of work, so a few of the things I’m wondering: (1) are there any cultural aspects to this practice group that seem to be consistent across most of the big firms, and (2) are there exit opportunities that offer at least a reasonable step down in terms of work hours compared to the 2200-2300+ I’d expect at the biggest firms? I ask because the other substantial part of my practice is an area known as being slightly more relaxed even in Biglaw, with great exit opportunities. I really enjoy fund work so I’d like to consider focusing in it, but trying to get an idea of what that would mean outside of my current firm. Any other input you have would also be appreciated!
Private funds or mutual funds?
Private. The work I do now is all Reg D offerings.
my former firm (NYC Big Law – located in the GM building on 59th, so figure it out) had a fund formation group that was rumored to have low hours and a wonderful work-life balance. They don’t take 1st or 2nd years, so you have to prove yourself before being pulled in, but I heard it was like a sweet little spot for anyone who can get in. Not sure about lateraling. Good luck.
Thank you for the info!
mid level nyc fund formation atty here. at least at my firm (which has a large private fund group) hours can be unpredictable but are overall relatively good compared to other practice areas (litigation, M&A). I avg 2100 billable hours – about 2-3 late nights a week, a couple weekends a month, and a couple slow periods thrown in the year. Exit opportunities are typically with HF/PE/other asset managers and the lifestyle varies – I have colleagues that now work a consistent 8:30-6 with no late nights or weekends, and others that work just as much as I do but with less flexibility over their schedule. recruiters have been calling frequently about both lateral positions in this area as well as in house roles, so jobs seem to be out there. hope this helps, good luck!
This is really helpful, thank you!
My husband does private fund formation at a NYC big law firm ( one based California if that hint helps). He’s spent his entire 7 year career there, which is unusual for the group. His hours are generally better than most biglaw corporate groups ( still a tough job of course). He thinks it’s “s*xier” than other areas ( which makes me laugh) and is now interviewing at a big bank for job with better hours and nice growth potential. A major downside is that he feels his job options are pretty much limited to New York. Good luck!
I’m travelling for work next week to El Paso. My boss says is not safe (he asked if I have two cell phones, one to give the kidnappers and one to keep in my shoe). My coworker is coming too but he is amazingly annoying and we will be gone 5 nights. I need to work with him during the day I would REALLY like to get away from him in the evenings. Does this seem reasonable?
I’d like to go out for sit down dinners and I’m thinking I’ll Uber because I don’t want to deal with him and the car? He isn’t my superior but he thinks it’s funny that he’s an @$$ and everyone hates him.
Next question, our seats on the plane are unassigned can I log in now and choose a seat away from him or are we obligated to sit together?
I am NOT looking forward to next week.
Your boss is incorrect. El Paso is not Juarez and is actually completely safe. I think it has the lowest crime rate of US cities of its size. You will be fine.
I figured, he’s making it sound like the Old West.
Just found out PITA coworker ordered the rental car in just his name. GAH.
I always sit apart from colleagues when flying, even when it’s colleagues that I like. I think going out to dinner with an uber sounds perfect – also that way you can have wine with dinner and not have to drive afterwards.
You can be added at the rental counter.
+1. I was in El Paso recently and it felt just safe. (I would take all the usual precautions that I usually do when I am in a new city, but nothing extraordinary.) Now, I wouldn’t go to Juarez anymore, but El Paso was fine.
I say pick whatever seat you want. If he challenges you on it say you really prefer a window seat (or aisle seat, etc.). Hint at motion sickness if needed.
Not obligated to sit together. It could happen without you intentionally trying to sit away from him, so he will be none the wiser.
You might have to do dinner together if you want to maintain a collegial working relationship. I think it’s fine to make up an excuse on a few nights to be alone (have to get other work done, not feeling well), but it’s a little weird if you then go out to a sit down dinner on your own and if he sees you, he might be offended. Can you just get take out (with or without him) and then eat it in your room?
I tell everyone I’m going for a run. No one has ever wanted to join me. :)
+1 get take out/order room service because you have to ‘call your aunt about her birthday/your parents about their anniversary/check in with the house sitter’
eat food and watch a movie – dull but less painful than dinner with this guy
Wedding question – my mom was surprised/found it rude that I’m not planning to host a luncheon for my bridal party. Is that a thing? None of my bridesmaids live in the same city as I do. I have been a bridesmaid for 2 of my friends and have never heard of this. Any other traditions I’ll be “rude” for skipping? Thanks!
No opinion on whether it is rude or not, but I also had long-distance bridesmaids and so I held the luncheon the day of the rehearsal.
Same here. Almost all were flying in from out of town and it was great.
I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing.
I’ve never heard of this.
I held a luncheon for my bridesmaids and other women who were involved in the wedding (MIL, readers, etc.). My venue required us to hold the rehearsal mid-morning, and the lunch immediately followed. Then the big rehearsal dinner was later.
I’ve been a bridesmaid in at least 7 weddings. I don’t think I’ve been to a bridesmaids’ luncheon at any of them. Honestly, I’d rather have the day before the wedding, up until the rehearsal, to travel in from out of town or, if I’ve arrived early, sight-see and enjoy my vacation.
You didn’t specify what day you mom wants you to have the luncheon. If you’re having an evening wedding and requiring your bridesmaids to be somewhere first thing in the morning for hair and makeup, then PLEASE serve food. It probably shouldn’t be a formal luncheon, but it IS rude to require someone’s presence all day and not feed them. Two of the weddings I have been in required my presence from 9/10 am throughout the day and had no plan for food until after the reception. (We managed at one wedding by roping a friend into bringing us cupcakes and at the other by going to a restaurant while the bride and groom had their pictures taken.) My SIL was in a wedding where the bride and bridesmaids got ready at the church, and there wasn’t even water. Also, as the bride, you probably need to eat and drink something.
That’s a great idea — meeting the twin goals of keeping people fed and satisfying my mom’s idea of tradition! Thanks.
I was MOH for my best friend – we were at her house before 9 am and it was an evening wedding. We had bagels in the morning, but there was no food from like 10pm – 7pm (start of cocktails). We were taking photos in the sun in the afternoon. I literally almost fainted (black started closing in on my eyes and I found something to steady myself on so I didn’t fall). When I got married this past fall we had food available all day since that was such a scarring experience!
I’ve never heard of it. What area are you in? Maybe it’s regional or from a different time?
It’s definitely a thing in the South. Mine, and the rest of the ones I’ve been to, were the bride, bridesmaids, close female relatives of the bride and maybe the groom’s mother/sister. It’s just a nice girly luncheon. It’s often the day of the rehearsal, but I’ve been to them around a shower or bachelorette party if that was easier on travel plans.
I think a luncheon is nice but unnecessary. I would not recommend skipping getting them thank-you gifts.
Speaking of, what thank-you gifts have you liked? I was thinking of pashminas.
Like a $10 pashmina??? I hope not. I got mine: individually selected necklaces ($30-50 each, for each’s personality), a photo frame with a collage of pics of me and the girl in it, an initial makeup bag, and some bath stuff (salts, lotion, etc.). I overdid it and bargain shopped a lot. I allocated $100 per girl for gifts. Previously I’ve gotten similar things – bridesmaids gifts tend to be a lot of personalized things, a little preppy, which YMMV, but I always liked. Look on theknot.
If it’s a cashmere pashmina I would totally be happy, thrilled actually, because I can never justify buying those. Give it in a good neutral like black or grey or cream. Don’t do your wedding colours.
My favorite bridesmaids gifts I’ve received were an envelope clutch and a pair of Hunter boots. With the clutch, I had actually forgotten to pack a purse (traveled with my work bag), so the timing was perfect. And I use it all the time now. And in a different wedding, the bride bought matching Hunter boots for all the bridesmaids at the last minute because it was expected to rain at her outdoor wedding. They are amazing! Not that I would ever expect anything like that. (And we did all offer to pay or let her return them.) I’ve also received bathrobes to get ready in in two weddings. One has a really cute print, and one has my initials. They made for some cute pictures, and I wear them all the time around the house.
Also, if it’s in the bride’s budget, I’d prefer to have hair and makeup or part of my travel expenses covered than receive an expensive gift. (But I also think a bride shouldn’t require bridesmaids to get professional hair and makeup unless the bride is willing to cover it.)
I will advocate for this until the cows come home: always get a real gift for bridesmaids. Not pashminas or jewelry to wear for your wedding day; get them something you would give for their birthday. A photo op accessory is not a gift to your bridesmaids. Don’t choose a theme. Get them a real gift as a thank you for their time, thought, and support through your wedding.
I’m a bridesmaid in a southern wedding and there is a women’s lunch. I’ve never heard of it before this wedding. The lunch is the same day as the rehearsal dinner.
I’m 22 weeks pregnant with my first child and have not yet told my boss. I’ve been waiting to find out about my bonus and raise. I had hoped to wait a couple of weeks after the bonus/raise discussion.
I’m having a meeting tomorrow about bonus and raise. I had really expected it to happen earlier in Feb. So my question is – do I tell my boss during that meeting; or do I wait until Mon/Tues next week?
I’m actually not showing very much, but it’s certainly possible that she has guessed.
I’d say if you are happy about the bonus/ raise, you can say, while we are here, there is something I’d like to tell you. Because telling someone you are having a baby is good news! If you are pissed about the bonus/ raise, waive until next week.
Based on experience — some people get irritated if you don’t tell everyone you know at 12 weeks on the dot — so be prepared to say something generic like, “I wasn’t ready to share this news earlier.”
ugh, wait* until next week
Outfit helove please! I’m throwing a 30th birthday party for my younger brother at a brewery on Saturday, so definitely a casual affair. I will be bringing my 1 year old twins that are not walking so needs to be baby holding friendly (no heels). Please give me some examples (from Nordstrom would be great) of good outfits. I haven’t seen a lot of the people that will be attending in a while and want to look put together, but I am fashion illiterate.
I’m the op. Are these fugly?http://m.zappos.com/product/8664101/color/84
Yes.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bobeau-one-button-fleece-wrap-cardigan-petite/3379983?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Heather+Coral+Apple&resultback=3711
This top with leggings and boots?
I actually almost bought this online last week! Great idea! I should add that it’s supposed to be 73 degress…in February in Denver. Love it!
I’d suggest actual pants, cute jeans or skinny ankle pants, rather than leggings.
Oh honey. You have one year old twins. The fact that you take a shower that day will be amazing enough, much less throwing a party for your bro. And everyone will be looking at the babies anyway!
But if she wants to buy a new outfit for the party that’s fine too!
I agree with this — you get a pass and it will be all about the babies anyway — but also get you wanting to look nice. Depending on your body type, maybe a tunic and leggings/skinny jeans or a (faux) wrap dress with boots would be cute and comfortable.
I can’t do tunics — they turn my hourglass into grandfather clock — but here’s a cute and practical one: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/caslon-cuff-sleeve-cotton-blend-knit-tunic-regular-petite/4119430?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=BLACK+STRIPE&resultback=1141
or this one?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/free-people-too-legit-stripe-cotton-tunic/4286455?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=BLACK+COMBO&resultback=3790
And I don’t think the shoes are fugly, they’re cute.
And here’s a cute wrap dress:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/geo-print-perfect-wrap/4259602?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=736
Pleione tops are cute, comfy, and flattering, and you can wear them with leggings or jeans. I like the espadrilles you linked, too. If you want to jazz it up, throw on on a scarf or get a cute ponytail holder or barrette.
My comment got eaten, but here are some examples you could wear with leggings or skinny jeans:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/pleione-pleat-back-woven-print-top-regular-petite/3814816?origin=keywordsearch
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/pleione-high-low-v-neck-blouse-regular-petite-nordstrom-exclusive/4325857?origin=keywordsearch
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/pleione-mixed-media-v-neck-tunic-regular-petite-nordstrom-exclusive/4021631?origin=keywordsearch
Order 1 size down in this brand
Need a quick check on my reasonableness here.
I don’t have kids, and my friend had her first 8 months ago. She’s been impossible to schedule and to some degree I get it (I have 5 nieces and nephews so I’ve seen the challenges even if I haven’t experienced them)…but I’m also wondering how much she’s just making things more complicated. Example today: we planned lunch and she texted me that he has a midday nap, so she’d let me know when she’d be able to make it “sometime between 1 and 3 pm.” Her kid has no sleep problems.
Is this really how kids work?
Shockingly, it kind of is. I have an almost 6 month old, and he is a SUPER easy baby, and nap times just aren’t always regular. Is she bringing the baby with her? Because I’m a “bad mom” (not really, everyone always just says OMG don’t wake a sleeping baby!) and I just pack him up, sleeping or not. He usually just falls back to sleep in the car seat, or in the stroller at lunch if he is tired. A lot of babies won’t put up with that – and once you have an overtired baby…well, it’s not good.
Does baby take a bottle? That’s another consideration. At 8 months most nutrition comes from formula / milk, so baby will need to be able to either take a bottle, nurse, or wait until after lunch. My baby eats pretty much every 90 minutes, and doesn’t like to take a bottle from me. So there’s that. She could be nervous about it.
So there are a TON of moving parts with babies, I guess is what I’m trying to say, so I don’t think she’s just making things more complicated.
Yes, this is how kids work. Her kid likely has no sleep problems because she doesn’t mess with his naptime.
I am purposefully restricting my answer to kid sleeping habits. I would say yes, it is. Mine are in preschool now and don’t nap anymore (sadly) but when they did, they would sleep for anywhere from 45 minutes to 3.5 hours with no rhyme or reason as to why a nap would be long or short.
Uh…yes? Are you asking if the kid needs a midday nap?
It’s pretty common for the under 1 year old set to have multiple naps during the day. And at that point you usually have them on a schedule for when they go down. And then they sleep as long as they sleep.
Yes.
Yes, if you don’t want a crying baby at the restaurant, unfortunately.
Thanks for your responses–especially the kind ones!
And no, wasn’t asking if he needs a nap, just really if there’s that much variation.
If it makes you feel better, I also don’t have kids and would have thought 1-3 was a bit large of a time range and not really in the “lunch” time frame. I also wouldn’t have known that you can’t just put the kid down earlier for the nap or wake them up from the nap. I didn’t realize nap time was until whenever kid woke up. I thought that letting a kid sleep too long could be bad too and mess up nighttime sleep. So, I would have had the same reaction as you if I was trying to schedule a lunch. I’m glad you asked so that now I know.
Thanks for this–I was getting super hangry by 3pm and thinking, “Why can’t you just wake him up already if he’s been asleep since 11:30??” I’ve heard the sleeping too long=bad thing before, too. She ended up canceling anyway.
But I also appreciate the advice above and will try to be more forgiving in the future.
I will be the voice of dissent. It doesn’t matter if that is “just how babies are” it’s rude to ask someone to waste hours of their time waiting. Friendships are give and take, and she is taking way too much. Expecting someone to wait and then cancelling is even worse. Having a baby doesn’t make you a special snowflake, you performed a biological function, it does not excuse you from being a polite person.
Agree that the cancellation was not ok, barring some health emergency or something.
Nap time CAN be until whenever kid wakes up…but mine is a dirty rotten cat napper, so that’s like an hour at most. Then again, that’s like….4 times per day. 1-3 does kind of seem like a large time frame…I’m likely to say “noonish” which can be anywhere from 12 – 1:30. But who knows? Maybe her baby is sensitive to stuff like that and you have to let him sleep.
Like I said, I just drag mine around and deal with the consequences. Maybe why he puts up with it, we were out a lot right away? Babies are just really individual, so who knows?
SoCal, love the idea below about bringing takeout. I’ll definitely do that!
To be fair to her, she sort of had to cancel–everything here closes from 3-5, so the places we talked about going weren’t open any more. Stinks for me because I’m working and still hangry, but what can you do.
Doesn’t sound like being inconsiderate is an issue for you (your posts are so balanced and thoughtful!), but as a non-mom, I would have appreciated a heads about about the nap thing. I.e., a text saying, “If he’s not up by 2:30, you should just go get your own food and we’ll reschedule.”
I’m entering that phase of life where my friends are all starting to have kids. I can already feel the friendships changing even just during the pregnancies. This is disheartening, but not unexpected, to me and I’m wondering if anyone has any tips/perspective regarding how to adjust and sustain friendships after kids.
I work a lot (70 hours per week, most weeks) and consequently have very limited family time and even less friend time, most of which, honestly, gets spent with my friends who have kids that my kid likes because I can kill two birds with one stone that way. As far as my friends without kids, I tend to see those friends most frequently when they tolerate hanging out with my kid too (e.g., we grab a coffee and we sit and catch up while I watch my kid at the playground). I get that this isn’t always the most fun for them, but I only see my kid for about 25 hours per week, and so I have a hard time justifying activities that take away from that time, so I appreciate friends that are willing to accommodate me.
I also try to schedule phone dates with friends during my evening commute.
Bring us takeout!! Even now that I’m back to work, sometimes I just don’t want to leave the house on the weekend. But if someone offered to bring takeout and come hang out? Yes please, all day long. Or if they are back to work, see if you can meet up during the week – built in childcare!
I’m totally game to take a long lunch and stay at work a little later.
My first friend is having a baby next months and this is great advice I am going to file away. Someone on here suggested helping out by taking their dog on a walk which I am also planning to do. I also figure I’ll come just to hang out with their baby so they can do things like shower/sleep/etc that newborns don’t give you a chance to do.
Yes, this is how kids work. My son takes two naps per day for a total of 3.5 hours, but it’s anyone’s guess how long each nap will be. It makes it super hard to plan, which frustrates me. I still love seeing friends whenever I can, and I would totally love any offers to bring lunch or takeout or coffee. DH and I also invite people over for brunch on Sundays or to dinner on Saturday nights, mostly after baby goes to bed.
Alternatively, if your friend’s baby wakes up around the same time every day (mine does), you could try to schedule coffee, breakfast, a walk, etc before the first nap. I can pretty much guarantee that my 10-month-old will be awake from 8:00 until 10:30, and between 5:30 and 7:30. The rest of the day is a guess.
Is anyone here being impacted by the new OT laws? I think I will be, although, honestly, the climate is kind of odd at my company right now due to a severe state budget situation. Also, I have gotten no indication as to whether I would get a bump to keep me exempt or whether they would strictly limit my hours. Would that be appropriate to ask in my PE? The budget situation has everyone super jittery, so I may be walking on eggshells more than I should.
Huh, I l looked up the new rules after reading your post, and it sounds like the rules we’ve been following at my company for some time now.
We defined non-exempt as someone who has no autonomy over their job. Autonomy in this case would be making independent decisions and managing their own time. So even though my department is composed of professionals, entry-level professionals really don’t have autonomy, so they are considered non-exempt. They are made exempt at their first promotion.
we require non exempt employees get approval for overtime before they work it. As managers, we have to make sure no one is working unpaid overtime voluntarily – that is a big no no. Most of the time I ok overtime if it is during a crunch time, but I’m not likely to approve it at other times. I just ask them to work on whatever it is tomorrow. Because we also have budget constraints.
Has anyone seen Land’s End apology on facebook for their support of Gloria Steinem? I’m so mad I can’t see straight.
It’s so sad that the religious dingbats have enough influence that the company would do that. Lands’ End should stand by the interview because I’d direct way more of my dollars their way. More companies need to support important feminist figures. Also calling her an “abortion activist” is bullsh*t, shes a smart human being with a concept of applied ethics and science.
I couldn’t agree more, 50% of the population is female and I’d guess 90% of their shoppers.
So sad about this. Especially since I just recently fell in love with their ponte sleeveless dresses. Thanks for posting this here–I’m not sure I’d have known otherwise.
I can’t even believe this. It’s so absurd. They knew it would get all kinds of reactions before they did it. Why give in to pressure you knew would come? I’m sure they’ve just upset everyone at this point.
yup
Thank you for bringing this up, I’ve been kind of out of touch on the news recently due to some life challenges, so I would have missed it.
I just sent them an email regarding this, and will not be shopping there anymore. I may never find a bathing suit that fits ever again, but so be it.
I am completely enraged. I’m so G-Damned sick of the right wing, esp. the “right to lifers” in this country. I’ve always joked about leaving the US… but the reaction to this article was honestly one of the first times I think I’m really considering investigating options. I can’t live in a country where people who think women don’t deserve equal rights to participate in society have this much power.
I spent some time reading the comments on the FB post this morning and I am just floored at the uneducated comments coming from the Pro Lifers. The arguments don’t even make sense. It’s like someone has given them “talking points” but no one has investigated them or even verified them.
I just did the same. It’s fine to hold differing opinions if those opinions are well informed, but those people are just nightmares.
well, I guess I won’t be ordering from Landsend anymore because of the apology! I would have supported them because they featured Steinem!