Suit of the Week: Anne Klein

ANNE KLEIN SUIT Textured Belted Jacket DressFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Happy Wednesday! I really like this beige textured suit dress on sale at Lord & Taylor. The collarless jacket looks chic — and like it would be a workhouse with a number of different outfits — while the dress looks like a great basic. I do wish L&T had a picture of the dress by itself… but what can you do. It was $320, but is marked to $150 (sizes 0-14). Try code BIG to take an extra 15% off regular items and 20% off sale and clearance. ANNE KLEIN SUIT Textured Belted Jacket Dress

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  1. Caffeine Free Anti-Oxidant Serum? :

    Can anyone recommend a caffeine-free anti-oxidant serum? The one I use has green tea extract, which disqualifies it.


    • I was going to recommend Avalon Vitamin C serum, but that’s got white tea.
      I’ve read about Silk Naturals Awesome Sauce recently but I haven’t tried it. There doesn’t seem to be any caffeine products in it though, and you can buy a sample. I might try it too.

    • Someone, mamabear I think, recently answered a question about tinted moisturizer by referring to beautypedia, which is affiliated with Paula’s Choice but reviews all brands. I’ve since become obsessed with it. The advanced search feature lets you search for a type of product and exclude particular ingredients. Might be worth a shot.

      • That was me a while back, but maybe mambear recommended it too. I find that site very useful. Thanks to that site I now use a retinol product I bought at the drugstore for $14 that, for me at least, actually works.

    • It looks like Fresh has two types of face serums that would be caffeine-free (the Soy one and the Umbrian Clay one). I use the Soy Facewash and adore it, but have not used the serum. But for my sensitive skin its the first face wash I’ve found that doesn’t irritate it.

    • Check out Eminence. They have lots.

    • Why is caffeine bad in serum?

      • Caffeine Free Anti-Oxidant Serum? :

        I don’t know that it is per se bad. But it interacts with some other health care issues going on for this person.

  2. The final word on zippers on dresses... :

    Saw this article today and thought about all the times we’ve discussed whether zippers on clothing are appropriate or suggestive:

    Link goes to the Daily Mail article discussing Prince Phillip’s latest comment….

    Love, PHX

    • Oh dear. Maybe she should have told him she’d be arrested when she kicked him in the balls if he tried.

      (But though I do hate the exposed zipper look, I’m not sure people should have to cut it out because skeezy old men can’t keep their mind out of the gutter. I’m sort of torn on that issue though, because the other side of the coin is that you shouldn’t wear something knowingly provocative in a formal or work setting. I’ll stick with thinking they’re not too attractive and go with that.)

  3. I love the cut but I think this color is not flattering unless you have darker skin. The cut is great though.

    • Associette :

      Agreed! This would look lovely on dark skin. I like the cut and the price point.

  4. Sydney Bristow :

    I finally got around to ordering business cards and just wanted to give a recommendation for zazzle dot com. I couldn’t really find a style I liked at (and was concerned about the quality) and I liked the style of the ones at Moo because they stood out a bit but they were too far from traditional for me to feel comfortable. The ones I got from Zazzle are somewhere in between, the quality is nice, and they shipped really quickly. I waited until there was a coupon code and paid about $17 with shipping for 500 cards. If anyone is looking to get some new cards, check out their site.

    For what it’s worth, I got the Monogram Attorney Business Cards by colourfuldesigns. I think it looks nice and is a little unique.

  5. I think this suit is gorgeous. I really like the color – it’s springy.

    • I TOTALY agree! I saw this same suit last week at LORD and Taylor. I was about to buy it! Now I will get it ON SALE!!!!!! Gosh, it is to bad I did NOT get the manageing partner’s aproval or the 20% of the FULL PRICE! FOOEY!

      I am NOT sure the nerdy guy is going to come here. Yay!!! He told the manageing partner he does NOT want to take a pay cut! How dumm is that?????? After all, there is NOT alot of good jobs out there, and I do NOT want to have to look to quickely for a General Council job before July b/c it is OUT of season.

      • Hey Ellen, have you considered the possibility that the nerdy guy might be looking for a girlfriend? If you got him to MARRY you, you probably wouldn’t even need a job anymore!

        Just a thought.

        • MaggieLizer :

          Agreed. NERDY guys make great Boyfriends because they appreciate you and respect women, unlike the manageing partner with his coffee breathe. Besides, Ellen, didn’t you want to get a Boyfriend over the summer, get MARRIED by Christmas and have a BABY by next summer?

  6. Ethical Dilemma :

    I have an ethical dilemma related to a job posting and would like some advice.

    I’ve been at my current consulting job for about 5 years, but know that I don’t want it to be my career and would like to leave within the next 2-3 years to go to a nonprofit or possibly the government. The current job has also paid for some of my graduate school expenses through their tuition reimbursement policy. If I leave anytime within the next year, I will owe them a fairly big chunk of change.

    I recently found a job posting that I’m very interested in (application deadline is this week). At first I thought, “why not apply? I have nothing to lose!” But now I’m wondering if it’s even ethical for me to apply when I know that (a) I’m not totally ready to leave my current job yet, even though I will probably be ready in another year or two, (b) it’s doubtful that they would pay me any kind of signing bonus to cover the money I would owe back to my current company, since it’s a nonprofit/quasi-governmental organization and I’m still fairly junior, and (c) I’d feel bad leaving my current job so soon after graduating when everyone has been so supportive of me while I’ve been in school part time for the last several years (this is really separate from the issue of owing them a bunch of money, which I’m also not so keen on because it would pretty much wipe out my non-retirement savings). I also expect a bit of a pay cut, or at best, my same salary, although I know I’ll be getting a raise and potentially a promotion in a few months if I stay here.

    So knowing all that, should I apply? Is it ethical for me to accept an interview (if I’m offered one) if I’m not even really ready to leave yet?

    I’d love to hear others’ experiences in interviewing when you’re not sure you’re ready for the next step.

    • You have to separate the “ethical” issue from the financial one.

      Ethically — you are an at will employee and your employer can (and will) lay you off whenever their little heart desires. You have no contract with them. There is no ethical reason you can’t apply for another job.

      Financially — you have to think about whether you can stomach the blow of paying back the tuition reimbursement and the lower wage at the new job. But that’s sort of putting the cart before the horse. Applying literally can’t hurt — and neither can interviewing. (Oh…and employers know that job interviews are as much about selling their job to YOU as it is about you selling yourself to them…you don’t have to be 100% committed to taking a job to apply to one.)

      Seriously, there are 0 ethical problems here.

      • I just wrote a whole post about how it was not unethical but may be immoral, depending upon the OP. It went into the abyss, however, by saying I’m posting too quickly (when I haven’t posted in hours). (Sorry, that keeps happening to me, no matter what computer I’m at, and often when I haven’t posted in days. /rant)

        Essentially, I’d suggest determining for yourself if you are comfortable with it. I personally would feel similarly hesitant and that it is potentially immoral. If you are doing it just to see what is out there and to get an idea for your future, I think you might see it as moral. I would feel badly about wasting the company/interviewer’s time, but then think about the fact that, a) you don’t consider it them wasting your time when they don’t select you (well, sometimes I do, but not for a typical situation!), b) interviews go both ways, and c) this is something that you need to find out.

        Ultimately, it is up to you morally, but I think it skates the line on the side of not immoral.

        Financially, it also seems wise to wait a few years, but I’d definitely say see what it out there now! Planning is a good thing!

        Also, keep in mind that they may contact your current company/boss if you don’t specify for them not to do so.

        • MissJackson :

          just FYI — if you get the “posting too quickly” thing, you can just click “refresh” and then “retry” (sometimes you have to do this multiple times) and your comment will eventually go through. Still annoying, but at least you don’t lose the comment.

          • Happens to me a lot, I always make sure to ‘copy’ my post before hitting send so that I can repaste it in case it gets lost in the ether. I do get that same error message a lot.

    • I don’t know that it’s unethical if there is a chance you would accept the position now and need to go through the interview process to get more information about the job/company and whether leaving your current position now might be an option.

      But as someone who is desperately applying for jobs to get out of one I miserably hate and contemplate quitting on a daily basis, please don’t apply for a job if you know you won’t take an offer from them right now under any circumstance. The rest of us are desperate for those interview spots!

      • Ethical Dilemma :

        Right, the ethical issue to me is whether it’s ok to waste the interviewer’s time if I’m not sure I would accept an offer. But I wouldn’t know for sure that I wouldn’t accept an offer unless I interview, because maybe they could assuage the financial situation and the place could be so kick-a$$ that collegial relationships be d*amned… I also don’t want to burn any bridges with the organization by not accepting an offer now if I’d be willing to just wait a year and apply then when they have another opening (that’s a lot of assumptions, I realize, but something I’ve considered).

        • If you don’t know for sure, then there is no issue with interviewing. That’s the best way to get info on the new position. You often can’t be sure until you meet the people/see the place/etc. whether the position will work for you.

          That being said, if this is a specific organization you do want to work for in 2 years, I would be careful about turning down their offer now.

        • If there is a chance you might accept an offer (assuming one were made), I think it’s totally fine to apply and interview.

          If you are 100% sure that you would not accept, it would be a very different story.

          When I was applying to colleges, I got accepted early action at my first choice but had started the application process at a few other schools for regular deadlines. My mom was determined to “get her money’s worth” and made me complete my applications. However, when one school called to schedule an interview, I told them quite frankly that I had been accepted to my dream school and did not want to waste their time and possibly take the opportunity away from someone for whom that was their dream school. Not surprisingly, I didn’t get into that school, but I’m okay with that.

        • As far as not wasting the interviewer’s time goes… A friend of mine applied with a consulting company a couple of years ago and was interviewed. She found out either during or immediately after the interview that the interviewer really had no position appropriate for her, but just wanted to meet her based on a rather obscure language she speaks that she listed in her resume.

          I see nothing immoral or unethical with applying and, if you get offered an interview, going on the interview.

          • But how did that make your friend feel about the interviewr and her company? You don’t want to leave that impression on an employer that you might be interested in working for down the line.

      • This!!! This coming from someone unemployed and applying for public service/non profit/government work.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      Applying and interviewing doesn’t just exist so a company can decide if they want YOU (though it sometimes seems that way, in this economy!). It’s also there so you can evaluate the potential company and job – does the role suit you? does it pay what you want? is it a step up for you? etc etc.

      In other words – you don’t know what they’ll offer, til they offer it. You don’t know you won’t take it til you see what’s on the table. You may go for the interview and decide the job isn’t for you. You may even get an offer and decide the cons outweigh the pros. Neither of those things are unethical, though if you are offered the job and decline it, you’ll have to carefully phrase why so as not to burn bridges.

    • I think it’s ethical to apply, but to be honest, I’ve never heard of a non-profit giving tuition money or a signing bonus to anyone other than a very top officer.

    • karenpadi :

      If you aren’t ready to leave yet, I wouldn’t accept an interview. It sounds like you’ll be interested in a similar position with the same organization or a similar organization in a year or two.

      Interviews are expensive and time-consuming for an organization. If you accept the interview, and aren’t serious about the job, the interviewer will figure it out. The interviewer will not be impressed. This will come back to haunt you in a year or two when you are job hunting. Plus, if that person (or someone else who was in the organization) moves to another organization, the “fake” interview will haunt you at that organization too. In short, word will get around.

      Instead, if the position sounds interesting, contact the organization/contact person and ask for an informational interview. Explain your situation and that the job posting interested you. Ask about steps you can take now to position yourself in the running when a similar job opens up in a year or two.

    • I’m on the job hunt and interviewing against lots of people and I’d love it if more of them would take themselves out of the market so that I could get a bloody real job, gosh darn it.

      But I don’t think its unethical, or even really immoral, to apply for a job in this situation because lots of people find jobs and make changes in their lives when they least expect it. And I certainly wouldn’t expect other job applicants not to apply to jobs just to clear the path for me! I’m not one to normally say this (because I usually think its a little dumb) but NGDGTCO for gods sake!

      But, it sounds to me like switching jobs right now for you would be a fairly significant financial burden and you’re pretty torn about whether you want to do it at all. So you need to remember that this job isn’t the only job in the world and in one year or two years there will still be jobs around that won’t cause you to go into financial crisis for taking them. But the decision whether to apply should really be about YOU and where you’re at, and not some hypothetical problems you’re causing other people. (Except possibly the prospective employer if you would like to work there someday in the future.)

    • Ethical Dilemma :

      Thanks everyone for the insightful comments. You’re right that the financial and ethical considerations are different, though at the moment the former informs the latter. I’ve decided not to apply to this job posting mostly to avoid burning bridges, as some have mentioned. I do know that an interview is as much about them trying to impress me as vice versa, but I think that even if they really impressed me, I don’t think I could take the financial hit at the moment. So instead I’ll take some real time to clean up my resume, perhaps do some informational interviews, and just try to learn and grow as much as I can at my current position before I move on. In 10-12 months I’ll have just that much more experience to bring to my next job.

    • I don’t know if you’re current employer is a large company or a small one, but everyone I know (n=5 including me) who had employer-reimbursed tuition for grad school with a minimum post-reimbursment period was “released” from their obligation without having to repay the tuition. In my case, it was over one year from my last class and so it was only a year’s worth of reimbursement.

      In any case, my point is to not assume that you’ll have to pay back the reimbursed tuition but to ask. You’ve given value to the organization during the time you were in grad school and most companies aren’t punative. I think some of this is that – as anony says – you are employed “at will” and it is a two-way street.

  7. Most important comment of the day: I finally got around to registering with Pottermore! I am WildElm546 (narrowly beating out ChaserWatch8546, because I would totally be on the watch for Chasers if you know, Harry Potter was real and stuff). Who are you? I know there was a thread about this but I can’t find it anywhere…

    • I joined early, went on maybe two or three times, and forgot about it. I hope it is better now!!

    • Sweet as Soda Pop :

      AshFloo25527 – Worst Pottermore name ever, but apparently better than the other choices since this is what I ended up with… And, no surprise to me, I’m in Ravenclaw!

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Oh, I’ll post my Pottermore name when I get home! I spent both Sunday afternoon, and Monday afternoon watching Deathly Hallows 1 & 2 back to back….. Now I am at work with my own real life Voldemort and Bellatrix….

    • HowlOwl701

    • GoldHolly8963 – I was legitimately nervous at the Sorting b/c I wanted to be a Ravenclaw!

  8. momentsofabsurdity :

    Thoughts on this suit from Ann Taylor? I like it a lot but I’m not sure if I’m being ridiculous and it’s really more ugly than pretty.

    • Former MidLevel :

      I like it. I saw it in the store and thought it was pretty, though the skirt may be a tad short for me.

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        Hmm. Maybe I’ll run by my local store to see if they have it in stock and try it on.

    • This one definitely falls into the I’d have to see it in person camp. And are you thinking about it as a whole suit? Because that would be a whole lotta look, as they say.

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        Yeah it would but I need to expand my suit wardrobe a bit into a few more “fun” suits — I only have boring interview type suits. I think I could wear the skirt as a separate but not sure what I could pair the jacket with — maybe a white pencil skirt? I’d have to see it in person.

        • I actually own a sort of similar tweed summer suit from Ann Taylor, but in tan and not blue. I think its the blue (and the lack of buttons/collar) that might send it over the edge to too much. But could be worth a try on, certainly.

      • I kind of love it. I have a brown and orange large-textured tweed suit from Ann Taylor from about 5 years ago. It gets heavy rotation in the fall.

    • MissJackson :

      Saw “tweed” and thought, “I am going to love this!” And I actually like it even more than I expected! This is a rare instance where both pieces look good as separates AND as a full suit. I especially like the jacket.

      • MissJackson :

        Although I will echo that the shirt looks short so you may want to try on — it says 17.5″.

    • I actually kind of like it. It might be a bit much as a whole suit, but I could totally see wearing each piece separately, provided the jacket hits in the right place. I have a winter colored version of this skirt that I love and wear all the time.

    • I actually bought the skirt to this about a week ago (it is a smidgen on the short side, for those of you with more conservative requirements for skirts).

      What I’m not sure is apparent here is that (like so many pretty tweeds), there are metallic threads in it, so it sparkles a bit. I’m willing to live with that as separates, but I think it might be a bit much all together. Also, I sort of feel like it’s a bit “brighter” in person than it reads on the screen.

  9. Love! great color and price. How does AK run, size-wise? comparable to Calvin Klein?

  10. Transitions out of Law? :

    If you could do anything professionally, what would you do? I’m feeling kind of done with the law. I work in midlaw in a big city with a high COL. I’m doing more than fine financially, but every day is kind of a drag. I’m just not that happy with my job. I get frustrated because I’m at the point where there’s no forest, it’s just trees. And I don’t think there will ever be a forest. I’m very lucky to have no debt and because of this, I feel like I have an incredible amount of freedom that I don’t know what to do with. I feel no obligation to continue in the law.

    My undergrad is in Art History and Spanish, so in terms of marketable skills from that, I’m kind of close to zero. What would be your dream job, either law or otherwise (that you didn’t have to go back to school to attain)? I’m really interested in policy, anything international (law, development, planning, etc.), art, baking, architecture, and pretty much everything that isn’t law at this point. I would love something more creative than law. And super duper dream jobs are acceptable, as well as those that are more attainable. If you’re lucky enough to have your dream job, what is it? More immediately, how do you motivate yourself to do a job that brings you down?

    • HereThere :

      I met someone who got her JD and is now working for the government on a fellowship (forget the name, sorry) basically working with other countries on development and policy. She mentioned what she and a few others in her position do and it sounds amazing! It seems to be a field where a JD is highly recommended (almost required), yet you don’t deal with law itself (typically, one guy in her department that she mentioned did, but he was helping a developing country form its system).

      My dream job is in law, so not helpful for you, but this job sounds pretty amazing to me!

      Also: You have really varied interests. You should try starting a blog and seeing where it takes you, because they may develop into a sphere you hadn’t thought of but love.

      Finally, I’m currently in a job where I know my end date. I’ve been trying to slack off (and by that, I mean not go ridiculously above and beyond) and cannot. Today, however, I’m entirely unmotivated and have accomplished like ten things, maybe.

      • Transitions out of Law? :

        Wow, that job your friend has sounds really interesting! I’d never thought about the blog. I’ll look into that and try and see if I can come up with some kind of coherent narrative.

        What is your dream job? Like I said, I’m definitely not wedded to the law. I feel like 10 things is not that bad, although it is still early where I am.

        • HereThere :

          Sorry for the late reply. My dream job is working for a global company in house doing regulations, transactions, or something in that area. I’d be more specific, but it’s a rather specific goal. My other dream job is related but really, really specific – but that one might happen in the next ten years or so if I’m really lucky!

    • Solo Practitioner :

      I have two dream jobs that I daydream about when I’m thinking I might get disbarred:

      1) Being a private investigator. I work with investigators a lot in my law practice, and would love that job. There are many investigators employed by government agencies (child protection, public defenders, etc.) and they also do pretty awesome stuff.

      2) Being a tour guide or local guide at a museum or downtown visitor’s center in the tourist area where I live.

      • migraine Sufferer :

        When I was a kid, thanks to Matlock, I thought attorneys *were* investigators. I would also love an investigator position.

    • phillygirlruns :

      i am one of the few attorneys i know who actually likes being an attorney. that said, if i could maintain my current standard of living without needing my current salary to do it, i would love to be a dog walker. or own a gym/be a personal trainer.

      • My dream job would be Ambassador to Liechtenstein, but not sure how that is ever going to happen. I do like being an attorney. I think there are probably other legal areas that I would be happy to branch out into down the line in my career, e.g., maybe become a judge or do something more legislative.

        If I was not an attorney, and I was being realistic (i.e., not dreaming of obscure European principalities), I think I would want to either teach or write.

        • Gail the Goldfish :

          Fact: A friend of mine’s father is the Honorary Consul of Liechtenstein to the South and Southeastern United States. I don’t know if this is a paid position or what it actually involves, but it sounds awesome.

      • This. Dog walker, owning a gym, being a personal trainer. Definitely on my dream jobs-if-it-weren’t-for-the-money list.

        I totally feel Transitions’ pain – I feel the same way as a midlevel associate in big law in a big city. I appreciate that I now have no debt and some savings, but the job is a grind. Wish I had the chutzpah to do something else.

    • I would be a personal chef. I love, love to cook and bake, but would never in a million years want the stress of working in a restaurant.

    • I’d be an Anglican priest. I would have gone to seminary if I had realized this about myself before law school, but it’s not really feasible $150,000 in debt later.

      • Anonymous :

        So cool! You can still be a spiritual mentor and example. You go!

      • My sister-in-law is an Episcopal/Anglican priest. It seems like a wonderful career. It’s great for someone who really like nurturing others.

        You could always be a deacon in your local church, or a lay minister. You might start by serving on the Vestry (like an Episcopal church’s “board”).

        But yes, clergy are not highly paid. High spiritual fulfillment and opportunities for travel though!

        • Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m not called to the diaconate, which is a ministry that focuses on social concerns (and which also require a process similar to ordination, in any case-it’s kind of different than being a deacon in other Protestant denominations) but I’ve thought about standing for vestry. And I teach Sunday school, which I love!

    • Take the Foreign Service exam. It can’t hurt, right? And there are a lot of recovering lawyers in the diplomatic corps.

    • I like being a lawyer, but I had to do something else I think I would be a sommelier. I love wine. Another option would be a physical therapist…just because my physical therapist seems to love her job. I think part of it is the place she works is really cool and part of it is she has a lot in common with her clients since the clientele is focused almost purely on runners.

    • Anonymous :

      I’d probably be an interior decorator, or more likely have some sort of antiques and home decor shop. I like to reupholster and paint furniture that I find at junk stores.

    • My dream non-law job would be to open my own vintage store! And, since this is a fantasy, my store would do extremely well, enabling me to pay someone to stand behind the counter while I spend most of my time driving around the country to out of the way estate sales and snapping up beautiful pieces of vintage clothing!

      My other fantasy job would be to be a YA author or a journalist.

    • I would be a librarian, but that would require more school.

      • It’s not as bad as you might think. It’s fairly easy to get at least a half-tuition fellowship. I had a full-tuition fellowship and it took about a year and a half. If you’ve done another graduate degree, it’ll probably seem relatively easy. That said, there are many flavors of librarianship and I’m probably biased to academic librarianship – it’s awesome!

    • Divaliscious11 :

      I’m hoping that when my other half’s career picks up again and allows my to down size, I am doing 2 things – running a not for profit and making a run at the senior golf tour!

      • I have a dream job for me, used to do law and now I do strategy/policy at a large company on issues that I care about deeply. My pay and hours are good, not biglaw on either count and I’m happy with that. It took years and and planning to make the transition, but totally worth it (did a lot on the side, as well as reflecting on what I might like in terms of type of job, skill set, subject matter, employer- and moving cities to situate self where these things aligned).

  11. The Skirt question :

    For those of you who own The Skirt: have you tried washing it? I try to avoid buying clothes that need to be dry cleaned. Thanks!

    • MissJackson :

      The Skirt doesn’t really work for me (I just yesterday established that I am an “H” shape — thanks to whoever posted that link about body shapes — very helpful), but I bought a couple before I figured that out.

      Since it doesn’t work for me, I went ahead and tossed one in the wash and then laid flat to dry. It washed up great. I would definitely not pay to dry clean it.

    • I’ve washed them on delicate (and even dried them on the delicate cycle just a bit before lay flatting them to finish them off). No harm has come to them.

  12. Outfits for dating :

    You guys, I am running out of things to wear for my seemingly endless string of “first-date-when-you-immediately-know-it’s-going-nowhere” type of dates. Instead of getting too frustrated with the whole process of meeting new people (mostly online) and not finding a connection, I want to focus on building up a better first date wardrobe. (I am taking the advice of previous commenters to line up several different people each week so I don’t feel so disillusioned when Tuesday’s date was dull, because there’s always Wednesday’s date, etc.)

    So, here’s what I’m looking for in case anyone has ideas: I like to wear jeans on the first date but have only a handful of tops that work. I am looking for cute tops in the $30-$60 range. My coloring is fair (blonde, pale skin) so beige/white colors tend to make me look a bit washed out. I tend to like blue, purple, black, dark grey, green, etc., but open to new ideas. Nothing too crazy low cut, but not too boring either.

    Any ideas much appreciated!

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      In my experience, Express is *great* for first date tops. The “wedge” tops tend to look great with jeans and look a bit dressier than a standard tee, while surprisingly not being overtly sexy. Also, they’re really comfy to change into after work and you can eat food on your date since you’re not painted in.

      I’ve got this, which I wear often on first dates with skinny jeans.

      • phillygirlruns :

        that’s a great top, especially for $30.

      • I love the look of this, but what do you do about a bra?

        • momentsofabsurdity :

          I wear a cami + regular bra under it — the back loses a bit of its effect, but still looks good but the shirt material is pretty thin so I’d be uncomfortable without a bra in it.

    • Get past the teenage ho clothes at H&M and check them out for fun, inexpensive tops. Also NY&Co, Limited, in some cases Old Navy. White House Black Market tends to be a bit pricier, but they have some nice stuff, too.

      I don’t know if I want to tell you about the cute tops I saw on the J Crew Factory site today…

    • karenpadi :

      Am I weird? I wear the same (or nearly the same) outfit for most first dates. Jeans, wedges, and a cute-ish shirt. I figure the guy hasn’t met me before o he doesn’t know that I wore nearly the same thing to my last first date.

      I like color too and I’ve had good luck at the Gap for tees.

      • Solo Practitioner :

        Ha! Perfect. I bought a new top for a first date with a guy about a year ago. We’re about to move in together. It worked. :)

      • Outfits for dating :

        Not weird at all – the last few weeks I’ve worn exactly the same outfit for the first date with a bunch of guys. The problem is when that outfit needs to be washed, or when I have a second or third date…I run out of options.

        I find that if I don’t spend too much time picking an outfit or putting on make-up, I don’t get so disappointed when the date is dull.

      • MaggieLizer :

        I’m starting to do this, too. I lose track of which outfits I’ve worn with which person, so I’ve started to have designated outfits for first, second, and third dates. Unless they’re after work; then I just wear whatever I wore to work.

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        No. I have a first date outfit which makes me feel gorgeous and I wear on 90% of my first dates. It seems to be working since I’ve never not been asked on a second!

        Unfortunately, that means on weeks where there’s a lot of dates, I do a lot of laundry.

    • HereThere :

      Late, but I’d actually suggest places like TJMaxx. I find a ton of great tops/outfits there for a low price. You can get great quality for a small amount there, especially if it is something like a going out top.

      I always feel like the quality as some other places mentioned, like H&M, is so low that I worry about wearing/washing it too much or feel uncomfortable in it.

  13. Blackbird :

    Provided that this isn’t too white in person, this might be the perfect outfit for the woman officiating an outdoor summer wedding.

    • Oh yes, good call! And then she can wear it if she has conferences in Phoenix or whatever

  14. I’m blanking on a place to go on a first date. I’m really excited about the date and he is coming out to where I live, which is great. I don’t know where to go or what kind of food to have. Both of us are pretty adventurous eaters, but I don’t want to go to a hole in the wall with great food and would like to go somewhere we could linger if we want to. If feel like this kind of rules out sushi. Big city, tons of food choices of all budgets, no real food restrictions. Help? Why is this so hard today?

    • For first dates, what about somewhere where you have to use your hands, like Ethiopian or similar food. Gives you plenty to talk about, keeps you busy, and keeps everything from being too “serious.”

      Another idea is a tapas place where you get to order a selection, again because the food itself provides a source of conversation.

      The best places to linger though are those that somewhat specialize in dessert, because they expect you to order dessert and coffee and kind of hang. So if you know somewhere around like that, that might work too.

      • Ha, great minds think alike, obviously! I was about to suggest Ethiopian, too…

        • River Song :

          I love Ethiopian food. Except… there was this one place in DC where you could sit on tuffets–these little stuffed cushions–on the floor instead of on chairs, and they were really really hard to get up out of, especially if you were wearing heels and/or had had a few too many glasses of wine.

          Not that that ever happened to me.

    • What about tapas? Because you don’t order all at once, that lets you tailor the length of the date – if it’s going well, order another little dish, if not, call for the check.

      • You guys, Ethiopian is my favorite food ever. Unfortunately I’m already going to Ethiopian with a friend on Saturday. But tapas is a good call!

        • No rule about not having Ethiopian two nights in one week!

          • Actually, in Ethiopia its practically the rule. ;-) hahahaha. I’m so funny. Or slap-happy. One or the other.

          • Seriously. I love Ethiopian so much I befriended the owner/chef and she’s teaching me how to cook. (If anyone wants Ethiopian in LA, go to Meals by Genet. Plug over.) But uh…it would be the 6th time in 4 weeks. Hi, my name is oclg and I have a problem.

      • Maybe dim sum?

    • I have a first date with someone tomorrow and I am so nervous. I don’t have anything to wear but, he is picking the place luckily. I will keep you updated on where we go. Sounds like a similar combo to us.

      • I don’t have anything to wear either, but I know I do at the same time. I do have shoes picked out so hopefully I can find a shirt in my closet that match but aren’t too over the top. Good luck!

        • I want to text him just “please tell me if I need to wear a bra on this date” but I do not want to sound dirty. I know that I have nothing to wear. I hate all my clothes. I am going shopping tonight. I pretty much am going to revolve around the boobs. So I need a shirt and then I will pick the shoes after that.

          • Okay…I have to ask. How would you NOT have to wear a bra on the date? I mean, don’t you always wear a bra? I’m so confused…is this some kind of code I’m not getting?

          • Agreed. It would be quite scandalous and dangerous if I were to be in public without a bra!

          • Wait, what?

            Also, I’m guessing that if you ask him if you need to wear a bra, his answer will be something on the order of “No way, baby, not if you don’t want to!” *wink *wink *smirk

          • MaggieLizer :

            Please wear a bra. Even if you are small up top, restaurants and such can be… erm… cold. And don’t stress over what to wear, the guy won’t really care anyway, and buying a new outfit for The Big Date will just add to your nervousness. Just wear something you’re comfortable in.

          • I have a nice halter top from cache and there is no way I could wear a bra with it. But it looks pretty good.

        • Good luck to you too ;)

    • If you’re in San Fran, I recommend You never know what they’re making till you show up.

      • I wish. When I hear about these things I’m so sad I left the bay area. I wish I knew about/these things existed in SoCal.

  15. Talbots suiting question :

    Does anyone have any experience with Talbots’ Cotton Tricotine suits?

    I am looking for impressions as to how it feels, wears, etc.

    It’s online only, otherwise I’d go to the store and look at it myself.

    Thx, PHX

  16. Diana Barry :

    Hey ladies!

    I went shopping today with the baby and got perfume samples at sephora (yay!) a few (huge, boo) pairs of shorts at old navy and a dress that I can nurse in and also hides my baby pooch! I also went to nordstrom and got a couple of pairs of yummie tummie panties since I am feeling so fat all the time. Sigh. It’s only been 3.5 weeks, I shouldn’t worry, right?

    Also, to whoever posted about wills drafting in Boston, I can’t find the post! I am still happy to do them if you post your email for me. :)

    • Women are so hard on themselves after having babies! Your body changes with pregnancy and 3.5 weeks is nothing! I’m sure you look great! If it makes you feel any better, I bought a dress at Old Navy to hide my burrito pooch!

      • Seconded. And I’m totally in favour of buying at least a few items that fit the body you have now so you aren’t self consious or physically uncomfortable in your too small pre-preg clothes.

        Also, something that isn’t talked about much is the fact that sometimes pregnancy can change your actual shape. My ribcage was larger for a few years after having babies. It was wierd. Sometimes your hips change too. So, if you don’t fit back in your pre preg clothes, don’t worry.

        Pregnancy really does wacky things to a woman’s body!

    • Diana, I’m impressed you’re leaving the house 3.5 weeks post-baby. Let along buying clothes and worrying about your tummy! So no, don’t worry! Just enjoy your little munchkin and get lots of cuddle time in!!! And sleep whenever you can of course. :-)

    • Yay!!! Congrats on the baby!!!! Your post made me so happy for you.

    • I missed where you posted that you had the baby, though I know you were getting close! CONGRATS! And you just birthed a baby human, please be kind to yourself and get something fun to celebrate a BABY! (Sorry for the Ellen caps, but this IS something to celebrate, don’t be hard on yourself that your body is a different shape. Though I realize that’s much easier said than done.)

  17. The dress is 37.5 inches. Would this be knee length? I’m 5’7″.

    • Measure a dress you own (lay it flat (or hang it up) and place one end of the measuring tape at the shoulder seam and measure to the hem. If you like the length of your existing dress and it measures the same as the dress you are contemplating, you’re probably good.

    • Marie Curie :

      It is on me and I’m the same height. But yeah, best to measure an existing dress.

  18. Any tips on dealing with an extremely difficult coworker during a stressful time? This coworker (senior to me) seems to nitpick everything that I do, barks orders at me, is generally really rude and obxnoxious, is a workaholic so doesn’t respect personal time, etc. Sometimes I think it’s personal, but I know a lot of other people feel this way too. Basically, he is the number one source of dissatisfaction for me at my job. And I can’t *not* work with him. A lot of the time I can avoid him, but now is not one of those times. Knowing that I have to interact with him makes me miserable, and I’m about to go on a business trip with him. Thoughts on coping strategies?

    • karenpadi :

      I’m not great at coping with this stuff so here goes:

      For nitpicking: make him feel that you appreciate his “contribution”. I’ve turned a few nit-pickers into laid-back reviewers with a few sincere “thank yous”.

      For barking orders: try to communicate in email or in writing. Otherwise, try using the “mirror effect” to your advantage. When he speaks loudly, speak quietly (he should instinctively mirror your quiet voice).

      Rude and obnoxious: Point out the behavior: “That’s a really condescending thing to say.”

      Workaholic: don’t answer your phone or email during personal time (unless it’s an expected call/email).

  19. Not crazy about the belt on this. It looks a bit crude.

  20. Anonymous :

    I don’t know how you all handle wrap dresses but last night, when I went out and sat down for dinner with my friends, the wrapped part sort of unwrapped and displayed my spanx and huge thighs. My friends pretended not seeing it, but I am sure they now know why I like I must be super clumsy but I am never wearing a wrap dress again.

    And every single time I think of the incident, I feel like jumping off… still picking a place… may be Brooklyn bridge? :(

    • I’m sure it was hardly noticeable to anyone but you. And even if they did see, your friends love you! Instead of criticizing your body, I’m sure they were feeling embarrassed on your behalf for the momentary flashing – or thinking of their own embarrassing moments (tucking pantyhose into a skirt, bra that can be seen through a sheer top, etc.).

      Invest in a faux-wrap dress if you like the look but want to play it safe! :)

    • don’t let it bother you- if your friends really noticed they didn’t care! I think this happens to everyone; I usually safety pin the skirt halfway down if I remember.

    • Beach Bar :

      I promise you, it is *nowhere* near as bad as you are making it out to be. First, if they are your friends, they shouldn’t care what they saw. Second, who doesn’t wear Spanx and have body imperfections? Even teensy Selena Gomez has flashed her Spanx to a large audience!

      I know it’s natural to obsess over something embarrassing you think you did, but you are wasting so much mental energy on something that your friends probably don’t even remember. There are times I cringe at a socially awkward move I made *years* ago, and I have to remind myself that no one else remembered it beyond that day, let alone for years. It actually makes it worse to dwell on it, because then you act awkwardly the next time you see these people and because they don’t remember the event, they can’t figure out why you’re acting so weird and just start to think you *are* weird.

      If it helps you get over that “they all saw but are pretending they didn’t” awkward feeling, maybe you could make a joke next time something clumsy or awkward happens to clear the air and move on? In this case, something like “well friends, now that you’ve seen the goods, you’re obligated to buy my dinner!”

    • Look on the bright side – at least you had spanx on! ;)

      But seriously – I echo the other ladies. You are thinking about this way more than your friends are. But I do have a tip – wear a slip over the spanks. Not a tight slip, just a regular slip to offer more coverage with those pesty wraps.

    • Anon for this because it still embarrasses me :

      Psh, that’s nothing. I once accidentally flashed a couple of my friends while we were playing catch in a swimming pool. My bikini top was a bandeau and I reached too high, too fast.

    • Even if they noticed (which is a big if), I highly doubt they would care or think anything of it (they probably wear ’em too). The great thing about friends is that you shouldn’t have to worry about what they think – they love you, spanx and all!

    • Oh, honey, that’s so far from being the worst accidental self-exposure I’ve done. Sooooo far. Your friends do not care about your thighs! I swear.

    • I once wore a dress that buttoned down the front to a wedding, and in the middle of the dancing, it popped unbuttoned all the way from neckline to navel.

      Thank G*d it was a conservative Jewish wedding and the men and women were dancing separately, so I only flashed the ladies.

      • Ok, you have my sympathy because that sounds really embarassing, but it’s also hilarious! I just stifled a guffaw to avoid being overheard in the deposition down the hall. Were you dancing really exuberantly, or were the buttons just not good?

        • It was both, I think. The wedding had been going on for a long time so everyone was *quite* tipsy and happy and thus the dancing was getting pretty vigorous (I caught a glimpse, over in the men’s area, of the rabbi stripped down to his undershirt and raising the roof). But the buttons were also those little round pearl ones, you know? They’re not up to heavy duties…

          • Ah, I do know the buttons you mean. Still, if I could be spared the embarassment of it, I would hope someday to dance so enthusiastically that my clothes popped off.

      • Last Christmas eve, I pulled up behind the church and stopped to say hello to my SO before parking and he sweetly pointed out to me that my shirt had come unbuttoned and my girls were on display. Luckily he was the only one who saw!

    • migraine Sufferer :

      The other day I was at an event in a tighter dress and couldn’t figure out why so many people were talking about babies with me. When I got home I saw in the mirror that I had the look of “could be pregnant but not enough to ask yet.” F*ck it. At least no one did ask. *That* would have been embarrassing- for them!

    • Anonymous :

      You guys are my rocks :) thank you so much for all the nice words. I DO feel lot less miserable. I mean LOT LESS. :)