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Ladies with Apple Watches, which are your favorite watch bands? I've tried a few and have been annoyed to see leather start peeling on some $50ish options — but at the same token I'm not quite ready to shell out the $$$$ for the newer fancier Apple Watch bands, particularly since mine is a Series 3 (and rose gold at that).
This super affordable watch band looks nice — particularly for $15.
I just ordered this beigey “nude” color, but there were many colors I was considering. Wearlizer Slim Leather Sport Strap Wristbands
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Help me find a way out of this mess
Help! Im a 2nd year biglaw associate and I am burnt out for what feels like the 20th time in my short career so far. I have known since I started working that I am not built for biglaw – I just don’t have the stamina that others seem to have that enables them to work constantly, I need breaks to keep going, and I need a long time to recover from busy periods. Right now I feel completely under water with work assignments and unable to perform properly because of a very busy two weeks, but no one else on that file seems to be low on energy like I am and there is no sign of it slowing down. I have wanted to leave law pretty much since I started it, but am in a HORRIBLE financial state because of my student debt, zero savings, and credit card debt (I’m pretty horrible with managing money and do not have a significant other to split bills with). The plan was to stay in law, where I make a salary high enough to conceivably get myself out of the financial mess I’m in, until I am financially able to quit. But today I feel like I honestly won’t make it to the end of the year. Any idea of high-paying jobs (that I can get with just my law degree – no going back to school) that don’t require you to have a lot of experience under your belt (ie. most of the in-house jobs I’ve seen require at least 3-4 years of practice)? Even just typing out that sentence sounds like I’m looking for a unicorn. TIA!
Sal
First – you need a budget. Stop using credit cards asap and use Gordon Ramsey or some other method to pay down your debt. Use mint or YNAB to track spending, set a budget, and track to stick with it. Once you have a good budget you can see what you actually want to make. There is a giant chasm between big law and no law — what about small law? Government?
Anon
Dave Ramsey, though the idea of Gordon Ramsey yelling at me about my bills made me giggle :-) But yes, I heartily second everything Sal just said.
Anonymous
*Dave Ramsey
NY CPA
I think you meant Dave Ramsey? But imagining Gordon Ramsey yelling at me in his Hell’s Kitchen voice might make me reconsider spending money too haha
Sal
Hahaha – thanks, and yes.
Anonymous
Haha – happy to receive help from whichever Ramsey is willing.
Anon
This may not be an option to you, depending on your level of credit card debt and student loan debt, but I went from big-law transactional to small law transactional (big for my state, small by the rest of the legal world standards). I still make six figures, but probably about 75% of what I did at my old firm. To make it work, you might need to be firm with yourself and get a strict budget/way to keep yourself accountable (You Need a Budget is popular for a reason). By being bad with money, do you just idly spend willy nilly? Is your apartment really expensive because it’s a cool building in a nice area? Cut out all the excess and deal with your credit card debt ASAP. Once you do that, can you refinance your student loan debt? I did and was able to cut down on my payments. All of this made the pay cut more accessible.
Anonymous
Um, no, you cannot get a job with zero experience that pays a gazillion dollars without the expectation of a gazillion hours.
Anon
As someone who is working hard to stay on budget, despite a love of shopping, I can speak to this firsthand— moving to another high paying job will not fix the underlying money issue. People at every income level spend beyond their means. If you have credit card debt that was incurred on a big law salary (maybe yours wasn’t) and can’t make any financial progress despite making a big law salary, then I would focus on getting a budget, sticking to it, and practicing a more modest standard of living now while you have an income safety net. If you can’t budget and live within your means making what you’re making now, it’s going to be even worse if you take a pay cut. If you leave this job, you will most likely have to take a pay cut because as the poster above says, there aren’t that many jobs where you make the same as big law, but don’t need experience and don’t have stress or work a ton.
Anonymous
FWIW – I have already tried the boutique route (for a year before coming back to biglaw) and found the grind culture to still exist and that I couldn’t meet expectations there either for the same reasons I am having issues in biglaw. It is very difficult to get a government job where I am because of the bureaucracy (they pick first from their pool of associates who have already worked there), and my friends in government seem to work almost as much as I do, so I’m not sure it would be worth the pay cut, given that my goal is pay down my debt.
Midlaw
I think you should hit Dave Ramsey hard (currently 3/4s of the way through and absolutely worth it–paying off about $150k in a middle market city). We moved to a cheaper place in a cheaper part of a town and got super aggressive about it. We paid off about $22k in CC debt, student loans, and other random things, and only have one student loan left. We make less than you combined with middle-ish cost of living. It was hard, but now that we are almost done, I am so thankful we did it.
I would consider midlaw if you can’t handle anymore biglaw, but still want a good salary. I make good money and while I still work hard, I am nowhere near NYC hours and I have most of my weekends fairly free. It’s definitely a know-your-culture thing, but I think it’s possible. Then you can make the jump to in-house.
anon
Small law and mid law firms are often looking for young associates. Your amount of experience is often less important than whether your are motivated self-starter who can learn quickly. You won’t make big law money of course but you can definitely make good money. You’ll work hard but it won’t be as bad as big law. Many small/mid firms are populated by lawyers who left big law because it wasn’t for them.
Ellen
It is not fun for you, I can see. Between the pressure of the law work in Biglaw, and the financial burden you took on to get the JD that you must now use to pay them back, I can see why you are stressed. There is no magic here; you must learn to love the law like I did over time, and you must also consider other options to get that law school debt paid w/o becoming bankarupt. Irrespective of anything else, as a 2nd year, you are young, and you are not going to get any cuter then you are now, so NOW is the time to find a guy to help you both emotionally, financially, and $exuallly. Having a guy to help you deal can be a big plus. I am not saying move in with him or marry him right away, but take care of him and he will take care of you, assuming he is not a jacka$$ like my ex, who just wanted me for $ex. FOOEY on that! But remember that you have assets too, and that is what men crave, your attention, your insight and your companionship you will bring to the table. Go for it and if you are careful in your selection, you will not regret it! YAY!!!
Anonymous
I think you can tough it out to the end of the year (stay for bonuses, if any, and to get the 20XX-2020 resume item). Once it is 2020, it is better to look for a job then b/c no one hires b/w Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway.
Honestly, can you move to a more specialized practice if you are in general corporate or general litigation? That is just a practice of attrition, but I know lots of people in tax, real estate, bankuptcy, and mutual fund work who enjoy the work and find it do-able and not completely insane.
Go to lunch and/or network as much as you can right now.
Anonymous
You don’t need a new high paying job. You already have one. You need to stop throwing up your hands and sit down and figure your finances out.
Anonymous
Keep your job, tackle the stress. Does your firm offer stress management classes? I find they help, that I pick up something useful each time I do one. Practice management class can also help, to hear how others keep track of all the details on a project. So does taking a breather each afternoon with a really short jaunt outside to get coffee.
Anon
I agree with getting your finances in order (which may include drastically cutting back your lifestyle) as a first step. That said, I do not recommend small law. My experience was that it was 80% of the hours for 30% of the pay. I’m sure the exact % varies, but generally the paycut doesn’t seem worth it to me. Government and in-house positions should pay as much or more than small law, and offer way better work-life balance.
LaurenB
If you are in a 1-bedroom, get a studio. If you are in a 2-bedroom, get a roommate. Re-evaluate whether a car or public transportation is best for your scenario. Make sure you have the clothing you need for work and put yourself on a clothing diet. Education debt is one thing – at least it’s an investment. Credit card debt is bad, bad, bad. Re-evaluate whoever told you that you should buy something if you didn’t have the money sitting in the bank.
Commiseration
Hi, same low energy senior associate here. Sorry to hear, it sucks, especially when others seem to be fine. But health envy is a surefire way to spiral into depression for me.
Some things that have helped for me:
– Years 1-2 were the worst for me (M&A in Biglaw). Once I had junior associates who could help, the physical schedule itself got much better towards the end of year 3-4. Knowing that it will get better would have been nice.
– Vitamins. Specifically, having my hair and blood tested for trace mineral imbalances that may have built up over time and contribute to the easily fatigued stamina. I take a mix of B, C (mega mega doses), D, iron, selen, zinc, omega 3, and magnesium. Some people lack copper (I have an excess). Look for specialists in functional medicine or chronic fatigue, or checkup programs that cater to the chronically fatigued population.
– Making sure to get enough protein.
– No alcohol. Not even a glass of beer with dinner.
– No caffeine (makes me anxious)
– Cutting back on carbs and sugar (slows down my metabolishm so that I feel even more sluggish).
– Staying hydrated.
– Yoga or light cardio in small doses (20 minute Vinyasa sessions at the office with the door locked are enough to make me sweat. I use Down Dog).
– Frequent vegetable and protein based meals and snacks.
On the finances, you’ve gotten good advice. Some essentials:
– If you live in a big or luxury apartment, move to a smaller and less posh apartment (walking distance is nice if you want to sleep more and build in some exercise) as long as you feel safe in it. No luxury buildings, pools, amenities and doormen required when you’re never home. Rent is your biggest fixed expense and the easiest thing to cut. Or, as suggested, get a roommate.
– Pay off your credit card ASAP. If you’re 2nd year in Biglaw and still carry over credit card debt, it is an EMERGENCY. Assuming it’s not on 0% interest, pay off the balance before everything else (eating out, travelling, the odd new item of clothing, shoes, drinks, yoga membership, and whatnot). Then pay it off in FULL every month or switch to checking if you don’t have the discipline.
– Put yourself on a complete shopping ban. Unless it’s absolutely necessary, you don’t buy it. The small items add up. Credit card debt is bad and you should never buy a new suit/skirt/bag/car/flats/book/whatever on credit, when you have something that will do. Sure, you might not look like the latest thing out of Vogue but you’ll ve professionally clothed, and that is fine.
– Pull up a budget for dining out/drinks (I would budget less than $500/month even in NYC, assuming you can expense some meals), and go for the free food at your firm. Try to stick to healthy choices given your fatigue. Make 5 salads with chicken breasts or cheeses and tomatoes or something and take it in for lunch. I’ve spent as low as $30 a week on the entire week’s food while in a similar state (order in salad without dressing every night, etc).
– Download YNAB.
You can do this, and the best way to sort through your finances is while you’re in Biglaw. I also do not recommend small law. Take a vacation or a sick day, but don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater (or whatever the expression is). Approach with a plan and specific numbers and ask for help where you need to.
Flats Only
Get a screening for depression. I had one when I was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and inadequate as you describe, and my GP gave me a prescription for a tiny dose of Prozac. It made a huge difference. All of a sudden I had physical and mental energy that apparently the depression had been stealing without me even knowing it. That made my job so much easier and less stressful.
Once you’ve got that sorted really work on your finances – your job will feel so much less oppressive when you’re not trapped in it by debt. Others have made great suggestions on reining in your spending to get out of debt as quickly as you can. Don’t go crazy with the cutbacks, but do make sure that you’re not spending unnecessarily as a coping mechanism. My trick is to choose ONE frivolous luxury to spend on. I save/spend on travel. That means I don’t buy designer clothes, drive an expensive car, have a pricey grooming routine, have a house cleaner etc. Choose your ONE comforting luxury and only splurge on that, not on every possible thing. You can and will get through this – you are stronger than you think!
Happy non-practicing lawyer
I agree with the above, but you could also think about going into law firm admin… they’re often looking for people that can handle the “culture” and have some legal knowledge/can talk to lawyers but are looking for a less intense experience. I have known lawyers (that are now not practicing) that have gone into law firm tech admin, associate development, business development, diversity roles, practice management etc. Some of these positions start in the six figures (but are less than what you are making now).
Best of luck! I promise there are lots of options.
NY CPA
What are people’s favorite waterproof / lifeproof eyeliners?
I’ve recently started making an effort to wear some make up to work on a daily basis (having previously almost never worn more than perhaps chapstick and concealer), but I’m struggling with finding the right eyeliner. I’m not particularly skilled at putting on eyeliner, so I need something easy to apply. I’m currently using a dark brown shadow with an ultra-fine eyeliner brush, and I like the look of it (goes on fairly easily, not overly dramatic), but the eyeliner doesn’t seem to stay on more than a few hours. I’ve also tried an ink liner, but the look was too bold and showed the flaws in my application too clearly. Anyone have any recs for someone in my position? I’m open to trying any formulation, but would prefer a dark brown liner for daily use.
Veronica Mars
I use the Fenty eyeliner pen. It lasts forever (both the pen itself and once applied). If you’re worried about a precise application, I usually wait until it’s dry and take a flat smudger brush and use some black eyeshadow on top of it to smoke it out.
The Good Wife
also second the Fenty pen; the staying power is incredible! I find it quite easy to apply
Anonymous
I like the Revlon ColorStay waterproof eyeliner. I’m also not great at getting an even line, but this one goes on really easy (feels sort of like a soft wax crayon) and then is easy to smudge with my finger or a q-tip right after to sort of blur any imperfections. I have super oily eyelids and this doesn’t budge on me.
anon
Chanel STYLO YEUX WATERPROOF eyeliner. It’s right at $30 but lasts a long time, is twist up (no sharpening), easy to apply and does not budge. Comes in about a dozen colors.
PolyD
Also consider eyelid primer, even if you don’t use eyeshadow (just get the primer close to your lashes). I just use an elf Brand (Target has it) eyelid primer and it made a big difference in getting eyeliner to stay put.
I’m using the pencil end of a double-end (pencil on one, brush/marker type on the other) called Tarteist, from Sephora. They sell a small version for $12 in matte black. I like it – it goes on easily and doesn’t rub off, yet is easy to get off with regular face-washing.
Anonymous
This. I use Milani’s primer and a $4 Physicians Formula eyeliner and it doesn’t budge.
Anonymous
Yes to the primer. I ‘invested’ (it’s maybe $24 at Sephora and lasts a long time) in Urban Decay’s primer potion, and use it under drugstore eyeliner.
JS
Liquid – Nyx Epic Ink
Pencil – L’Oreal Infallible Waterproof
BabyAssociate
+1 to the Nyx liquid, perfect dupe for the Stila I really like
Samantha
+2 to NYX Epic Inc, bought it on recommendations here and loved it so much I am on my second one.
Anon
I like the Stila liquid liner pen in the color Alloy. It’s a medium gray color so it is a lot subtler than a spidery black line at the base of my lashes, which is how I think it looked when I was using black. With the alloy color, my lashes look complete and enhanced but the actual line is much less pronounced.
As others recommend, a base layer is essential for getting it to stick all day. I personally like Trish McEvoy eye base essentials in bare, which is basically my eyelid but better, not really a shadow look. My eye looks the same at 8pm as it did at 8am.
Anon
Whatever you do, don’t ask the thread from this morning. They would just tell you to get a new face instead of using makeup.
Anon
+1 I’m still not quite over discovering my rosacea can be cured by washing my face, apparently
B
I am interviewing a potential secretary for the first time (Big law, junior partner). Any tips on good questions to ask? I struggle with how to figure out if the candidate is detail-oriented, motivated, and good at multi-tasking. These soft skills are what I am most concerned about.
Anon
I feel like the common advice for these types of things is to ask situational questions – e.g. tell me about a time where you had to juggle X number of cases at once, how would you approach Y situation, etc.
ATL rette
Jumping in here to ask how you show these soft skills on your resume when they are requirements for the job? I’m all of these things but I really struggle with how to include them in my resume I order to actually get an interview and talk about them there.
anon
For something like detail oriented, I would try to probe whether this was a requirement in their previous job (proofing documents where words and punctuation mattered), whether they have a sense for the importance of details (instead of not caring about the details), but definitely ask about this in the reference check!
Apple Watch Bands
I have two of these and love them. I did have to take links out to make them fit my tiny wrists, but they come with tools and instructions, and it wasn’t hard. I get a lot of compliments, particularly on the tortoise one.
https://www.amazon.com/V_moro-Compatible-Stainless-Replacement-Tortoise-Tone/dp/B0752896V5
Apple Watch Bands
Oh, I also have the knock-off Hermes Double Tour, and love it, as well. Mine doesn’t “click” in on one side of the watch for some reason, but that hasn’t affected how it stays on, and it gets a ton of compliments, as well.
https://www.amazon.com/V-MORO-Compatible-Double-Leather-Apple/dp/B015VWGG18/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=hermes+watch+band&qid=1570476057&sr=8-6
Ellen
I was thinking of getting a new Apple watch b/c I have everything else Apple, so why not? I am kind of up in the air about it. Does anyone know if I can use a magnetic band or will this mess up the watch’s timing? Dad says the watch should NOT be exposed to magnetism, so that kind of throws my plan out to get a magnetic band. I will not get a new watch b/c I alrady have a nice feminine watch that I do wear, and do NOT particularly think this one is cute.
lsw
Thanks for these recs! I know I’m late to the game, but do you know about any nickel-free options?
Mel
Yes, thanks! I just ordered the tortoise shell one. I have a similar one in silver/gold that I thought would look dressier. But I don’t love the way it looks. It’s a little too 1970s TV detective…:)
anon
What are the best tights? Is hive preference still Hue? Not looking for fleece lining or anything, just regular tights that will wear well.
NOLA
Spanx tights wear like cast iron.
Anon
+1
Anon
+1 – These are the only ones I’ll wear.
Anon09er
I have DKNY tights purchased from Costco a few years ago and they are still going strong after 2-3 seasons of frequent (once per week?) wear. Pro tip: lingerie bags for washing machine cuts down on lint as well as excessive wear.
Anon
These tights were AMAZING! Hands down the best tights I’ve ever worn. But I wore mine for years and years and they did eventually wear out. Wish I could replace them :(
Anon
if anyone needs a good laugh, go read Ask a Manager post today about the coworkers who make sounds…
Ellen
It is funny in the abstract, but in real life, Frank walks by my office and makes grunting and groaning sounds that are supposed to be the way MEN sound when they are having their big O’s! Unfortunately, it sounds more like a gorilla with a toothache, and that is NOT $exy to me. Even when there are cleints in my office, he does this and I do not know where to look! The cleints know he is the CFO, so they think there is something wrong with him! It is better then the sounds he used to make in the toilet, but PLEASE!!!
NOLA
OMG
Senior Attorney
OMG I about died…
Anonymous
I saw that but haven’t clicked to read it yet. Is it safe for work?
Anonymous
No
Skipper
My sister and I are talking about taking a trip somewhere snowy this winter. Our budget is around $8000 for a four day weekend for us both. She has a minor mobility issue, and neither of us ski. She doesn’t like spas. Y’all have any excellent travel advice?
Anonymous
Mohonk Mountain House is lovely and cozy and accessible.
Go for it
+1 and there’s tons to do in the village of New Paltz as well as adjacent areas.
Anonymous
If you’re east coast and open to Europe I would do Austria or Switzerland. There are lots of enclosed gondolas for rides to the top of the mountain and beautiful views.
In North America, maybe Quebec City for winter carnival or Lake Louise (Alberta), both are beautiful in the winter and you don’t need to ski to enjoy either.
anon
What about Quebec City?
Anonymous
Quebec City may be tough depending on her mobility issue (cities generally don’t have to retrofit historic towns).
Anon
You don’t currently ski, but why not try it (if your sister’s mobility issues allows)? Then you could really get a lot of bang for your buck out of a place like Park City.
Emigrating in-laws to USA
Does anyone have any experience emigrating their own parents, or other elderly relatives, to the US? My in-laws live in the UK and wish they could come live near my husband and me. However, I’m concerned that the cost of healthcare would be prohibitive–they both have significant health conditions already (and they are only in their 50s), and they are not rich. I just can’t imagine how it could possibly work, but maybe there’s something I’m not thinking of.
Anon
I’m sorry—this sounds tough. If they’re able to work, I’d look into how long a person has to work in the US to be eligible for Medicare at 65. If you can get immigration sorted through family preferences (or are they US citizens?) and they can get employer health insurance for now and Medicare on retirement, it might work.
If they’re likely to need assisted living/long-term nursing home care and that’s covered in the UK, they may be better off staying in the UK. Paying out of pocket for that kind of care is out of reach for all but the wealthiest, is not generally covered by Medicare (though it can be possible to get through Medicaid if they’re destitute), and it’s probably already unaffordable to get long-term care insurance for them.
Anonymous
This is a terrible idea the NHS is so much better than the American healthcare system. They should absolutely not move.
Anon
Trying to make this happen except our relatives are not in a country with something great like the NHS. You might want to consult a lawyer.
Anonymous
A person needs 5 years of residency and a green card to be eligible for Medicare. Anyone who’s eligible can sign up for Medicare at 65, but only people who have 40 work quarters (~10 years of work) with Social Security can qualify for premium-free Part A. For people who don’t qualify for premium-free Part A, the premiums are pretty steep. Everyone, except people who are very low income, pays a premium for Part B. Then you need prescription drug coverage and some kind of supplemental coverage for all of Medicare’s out-of-pocket costs (Part A deductible, Part B deductible, and Part B coinsurance). Plus, Medicare generally doesn’t cover dental, vision, and hearing, so you’d want your supplemental coverage to cover that or else find separate insurance coverage.
Anon
I’ve looked into this for my UK-based in-laws, and could not come up with a feasible strategy. Mine are already retired, which I think does make a difference (no way for them to pay into Social Security, and therefore Medicare).
JS
Is this a unicorn? I’m literally just looking for the Cuyana structured tote with a zipper and can’t think of anything. I want it to stand on its own, minimal/no branding, and zip. Thanks!
Anon
Cuyana makes a zippered tote. I haven’t had any trouble with it standing.
JS
Oh great! It looks so much slouchier than the structured one and I love the structured that I have. May have to just try that then!
NYCer
I have the Cuyana zippered tote with the insert, and it stands on its own. We use it as a diaper bag currently, but it is a great bag.
anon
Not exactly the same feel as cuyana, but maybe dagne dover?
Anon
Cuyana zippered tote with the insert.
Anon
Might work: https://www.markandgraham.com/products/everyday-italian-leather-zipper-tote/?cm_ven=afshoppromo&irgwc=1&clickid=V%3AX1RFQkCxyJRi-wUx0Mo382UklXVpXcKx24wo0&bnrid=1402119&cm_ite=&cm_pla=ir&cm_cat=57486&irpid=57486
Apple Watch wearer
I ordered this very similar one and have been wearing it daily, even during lunchtime workouts, and it’s held up perfectly so far. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07TDLYK6N/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anonymous
Should I give Fleabag and Outlander another try? They seem popular but I couldn’t get past early episodes of either one. (The rape-as-torture in Outlander in particular made me think it wasn’t going to be a good show for unwinding.)
Anonymous
What was it you didn’t like about Fleabag? I loved it, especially the second season.
Anonymous
I’m grieving, and I don’t need to watch someone else unhealthily grieve.
Anonymous
Ah, I’m sorry. Maybe now isn’t the best time for Fleabag since I think the whole first season is pretty heavy with that story-line. I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch The Farewell for the same reason – everybody says it is amazing, but I just lost my Grandma to cancer and I know I’m not ready. Take care of yourself.
Anonymous
Thanks that’s so sweet!
Anonymous
Original OP here — I was just confused by the humor in Fleabag. Like the guy on the bus she smiles at and then he smiles back and there’s this pause — are we supposed to be laughing because his teeth are horrible but she plunges forward? Her teeth aren’t great. It seemed kind of mean, but then I worried I was confused.
Anonymous
Why bother? TV should be fun
Anonymous
+1000 If a show doesn’t grab me in the first episode (or really the first 1/2 of an episode) I move out. Life is too short and The Office repeats too available.
Vicky Austin
+1
Anon
Can’t speak to Outlander but yes yes yes on Fleabag! One of the best tv shows I’ve ever watched. I know she is off-putting at first. That’s kind of the point of her. But as you get to know her you start to understand.
I wish more people were watching Succession. Another totally great TV series that I think so many of us in the corporate world can relate to. Also, some f-ed up family relationships that might make you feel grateful for only having the one nutty sister or whatever.
Senior Attorney
I love Succession!
Anon
Love Succession….last night’s episode 9 was the best!
Anonymous
Outlander is so good. Rape recurs as a part of the plot throughout but the rest of it is so good. Hope you’ll give it another chance.
Worry about yourself
I would recommend giving Fleabag another chance, I’ve only watched the first season but I enjoyed it, and I can’t wait to get into the second season. It’s very short, maybe 6 episodes?
Anon Lawyer
I like Outlander but it is super rapey so I wouldn’t bother with the rest if that is something that upsets you (which is fair!)
anon
I didn’t finish season 1 of Fleabag, but loved season 2. You can skip to season 2, there won’t be a test!
Anon
Although I personally really enjoy both shows, in your shoes I wouldn’t. Grief is a major theme throughout season one of Fleabag and rape recurs throughout Outlander.
For family reasons I hate watching shows with alcoholism as a major theme. No matter how objectively fantastic and award winning they are I just find it stressful and depressing. Why put yourself through it?
anon
I’ve noticed that when I’m worn out, I start losing my words. Like I fumble for the right words, even though I know what I’m trying to convey. Or I sort of stumble and stammer a lot more than usual and don’t sound articulate at all. How do I fix this? It can be really embarrassing. It seems to happen when I’ve been working at a faster pace than normal for a week or two, especially if I’m switching between multiple projects. The problem seems to be entirely related to my work pace, more than outside stressors. Or maybe it’s just an accumulation, I don’t know. (Can I just say being a working mom with a big job can be really freaking tiring?)
Anon
Rest. Rest is how you fix it. Find some time to care for yourself!
Anon
Omg this! There isn’t a life hack for treating your body well.
AFT
Hi! I do this too. My biggest tell is a complete inability to use time expressions – any time in the past becomes “yesterday” etc. – when tired or overextended.
So agree with the note above about rest and self-care, but for short-term fixes, taking a deep breath and kind of mentally planning the point I want to get across before I start talking helps. I’m a lawyer, so it really is kind of a mental dialog of “Ok, about to go on stage, step it up, and go! ….” moment – even if not a professional issue.
anon
OP here, and YES, the time expressions are big one. It reminds me of when my daughter used to refer to “yesterday” as “lastday lastday lastday.”
Yep, totally agree that I need more rest, and am struggling some days/weeks to make it happen. I can usually reset by the weekend but can be in a bad place by the time Friday rolls around.
Carolyn
I’ve had the same issue, and have been told it’s just stress and eat healthy and get some sleep, and that seems 100% correct and effective
Anonymous
Rest. Your body is telling you that you are in a crisis.