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Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Printed Stretch Cotton Blazer

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Akris Punto Printed Stretch Cotton BlazerAkris Punto has a number of interesting black and white jackets right now, but my heart belongs to this odd little graphic print. While I can usually take or leave faux leather details on pockets, I like that this jacket apparently carries them through to the lining of the sleeves — at least enough so that, when rolled up, the sleeves look like they have leather cuffs. Very cool. The blazer is $1460, but with Saks's Cyber Monday sale (take 40% off everything, no code needed) I believe it comes to around $876. Akris Punto Printed Stretch Cotton Blazer Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) P.S. Happy birthday, Mom!

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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197 Comments

  1. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving! I have a feeling it’s going to take some time to get back into “work mode.”

    1. I had a crazy, crazy week last week so we did a mini expat Thanksgiving yesterday (gluten, dairy, and meat free main course was a resounding success as was the pumpkin pie with ginger crust). Writing at home today while my partner has a day off, so far we’ve rearranged the furniture and I’ve written about 200 words. Oops.

    2. I so much agree, KC! Cat, this look’s like the old black and white TV my dad installed in his toilet! He insist’s it still work’s tho it is NOT in color. FOOEY!

      I had a busy weekend and ate alot of turkey and stufffing (includeing my own YAM stuffeing, which everyone thought was a HIT, even Grandma Leyeh!). Unfortuneately, I put on 4 pound’s, I think nearly all in the tuchus and leg’s. Dad made me walk with him on Thanksgiving, and it was SO COLD OUT that I thought I froze my tuchus off, but when I came back in, it was still there! DOUBEL FOOEY.

      Dad had David and his dad stop by the house on Thanksgiving for dessert. Dad want’s me to start over with David. David say’s his company is still doing OK, but he said he does NOT want to I.P.O. in this economic climate b/c he heard about all of the compleaince issue’s that public companie’s have to deal with. Dad want’s me to consider workeing as David’s General Council, but I do NOT see a future there unless they I.P.O. David’s dad wants for David to get MARRIED so that he is not focused on different women. I do NOT know where David has been (woman wize), so am not sure if he is clean. I would have to have him tested, b/c even Alan was noseing around other women and I am not sure where else. TRIPEL FOOEY!

      Myrna thought David was OK, but Olak, the guy she started seeing, wants to have sex already, and they onley went out twice! She said Olak has funny breathe and some kind of a twitch, and she is NOT goeing to have sex with him.

      Also, I met Roberta’s son, Keith, and he want’s to date me now. He seem’s nice enough, but I am NOT sure he would be abel to earn the kind of money we need to support me and I am not sure I want to have children with him yet. But he is comeing back into town in late December and want’s to see me then. We will see. YAY (mabye)!

      Fineally, Willem kept texteing me this weekend askeing about getting together. I am not sure b/c he want’s to take a picture of me to send home. I have NO IDEA what he told his family about me and I do NOT want to be thought of as the gal WILLEM is haveing sex with when I onley went out with him a few time’s.

      Finally, I do have to go to the Net’s Game against the KNICKs this week with Fred. The manageing partner says that both team’s “stink” but at least 1 team will win. YAY!!!!

  2. I was about to pull the trigger on an OG bag and am finding myself in this philosophical mode: what sort of work travel will I be doing in the coming year? what sort of life will I have? who am I? This is highly annoying! The 30% off code ends today and I *thought* I was the sort of person who needed this bag and would actually use it. I think I am. Ugh!

    1. I too am debating pulling the trigger but have yet to decide between the OG and OMG. Any advice? I’m looking to use it more for an everyday carry-to-work bag than as a travel bag. I’d like the larger space of the OG, but I worry that at 5’3″ it will be too big for me. I’m looking to carry:

      – a pair of heels
      – gym clothes (socks/sports bra/top/pants)
      – normal purse stuff (wallet, phone, small bag of cosmetics and toiletries, etc.)
      – Relatively full lunch bag (I bring a lot of tupperware)
      – large water bottle for the gym
      – Coffee (in a Klean Kanteen)

      I walk to work (45 minutes) so would love to have something that would carry all of my stuff, vs. my current method of trying to hang 3 different bags from my shoulders.

      Advice/recommendations?

      1. I have an OMG and I can fit my normal purse stuff, coffee thermos and my lunch bag (brimming with glassware). I wear a size 11 and I can’t imagine fitting a pair of shoes in it too, much less workout clothes and a water bottle.

        1. Thanks, this is kind of what I expected. Maybe I’ll bite the bullet on the OG and return it if needs be….

      2. I just got the OG as a travel/gym bag. I also take it to work when I’m carrying my laptop and gym stuff. I’m 5’10 and it feels huge on me.

        1. I was doing some searching over the weekend for the same reasons, and found this review. I thought it was really helpful, and it convinced me to buy the OG. I think it will be a greater travel/carryon/larger work tote. I don’t have to carry that much stuff on an everyday basis but I need a larger bag on occasion, and I have a number of bags that fall into the size range of the OMG so there was little point in buying another medium sized bag.

      4. I’m 5’0 and just pulled the trigger. Think about the big bags you usually shlep around. I usually carry around a soft leather brief case that swallows me up.

    2. Haha! I’m having the same mental dialogue with myself! I don’t even want to travel for work any more (recently had a baby) yet this bag and the 30% off code are making me question my decision.

    3. Same internal debate, but two weeks ago, with the Capitol Hill Style discount. I’ve emailed Lo & Sons about a price adjustment today.) I did pull the trigger on the OG. It is big, and I’m 5’8,” but I don’t find it to be outrageous looking. And it has to look more together than my usually cross body, lunch bag, shopping bag/redweld, coffee mug juggle. I haven’t packed it up to give it a try yet, but I did break down the shipping box, so I’m one step closer to keeping it.

    4. I’m thinking I might have to finally order the OMG, but I’m having trouble deciding between the Army Green and the Plum. Anyone have either and care to comment? I usually go for a pop of color with my bags, and probably wouldn’t use this as a work bag, but I’m wondering just how loud the Plum is in person.

      1. late to the thread…

        1) on size… apparently I schlep a ridiculous amount of things – I can fit a full lunch bag, gym shoes, gym clothes, water bottle, towel, kindle and purse stuff in the OG and it’s stuffed to capacity. Sometimes I will squeeze in my laptop. I am 5’4 so the bag is a little ginormous on me but I think it looks better than carrying around several small bags and being bag lady

        2) on color…I bought the OG in Plum and I like the color for the most part. It’s very muted and not loud at all. In fact, I was hoping it would be a deeper plum (it’s more of a medium purple color)

  3. I was planning to buy a pair of boots at Amazon today with the cyber Monday deals only to discover that they’ve actually gone up $30 in price. What the what??!!??

    1. I was just talking with a friend about this. Apparently, analytics is being used to alter prices in a variety of patterns… i.e, if your activity pattern indicates you’re going to buy a lot, the price goes up. If your purchase history makes you look like someone who will pay more, the price goes up. And so forth…

      I actually *saw* this happen at Last Call. Had a cart full of items, was about to check out, and I noticed that the base price of the entire purchase had risen by about 18.5%. Ugh.

      1. Does it work the other way? I don’t buy a lot, but I do a lot of comparison shopping. Are the prices going to go down for me???

      2. Is this legal? It seems like this practice could violate some states’ consumer protection laws. FWIW, if I saw something that was a lower price previously, it might be worth calling a customer service line and mentioning that it used to be a lower price and seeing if they could adjust the price.

        1. I’m not sure if it’s all the way legal everywhere or not. My friend claimed that Amazon quasi-invented this practice, and I know Last Call has a disclaimer to the effect of “promotional/sale pricing not reserved until you actually buy”…

      3. That’s interesting. I can believe Amazon does this, but I’m surprised about Last Call. They often have random sales and discounts that change pretty frequently. Did this happen around midnight? I’m only asking b/c I don’t think that their website is overall that sophisticated, so I think it would be really weird if they invested so much in analytics. I’ve also found their “base” pricing to be very consistent with the tags at their B&M stores. But if they are doing this, that’s really interesting.

    2. I’ve heard airlines do this too. They know you are going somewhere on certain dates if you keep searching the same thing so the price will go up instead of down. If you do the same search on a completely different computer you might get a different result so long as nothing else is identifying you during the search (rewards number, logged into google, etc.) Clearing your cookies and re-searching can help too. Again, just rumors I’ve heard.

  4. I love the pattern on this jacket, but I don’t love the cut.

    TJ: I’m a working mom who could really use some Christmas shopping help. I’m trying to make a tradition of new pyjamas on Christmas eve for the kids – but my 2 year old needs cotton pyjamas with feet. I can’t seem to find cotton footed pyjamas with a Christmas or Winter theme/pattern anywhere. I’ve found lots of cotton pyjamas without feet or Christmas/Winter fleece pyjamas but she can’t wear fleece because it aggravates her eczema. Any ideas? Thanks!

    1. Garnet Hill? They seem a bit less prone to fleece (it makes me itchy as well).

      I love the idea of this tradition!

    2. There’s a whole website called Cotton Footed Pajamas – I’ve never used them so have no idea about quality – but it’s a start.

      1. Thanks for the idea – I’ll keep them in mind in the future but I don’t see any holiday prints on the website.

      1. Carter’s are great! That’s what she usually wears but anything holiday/winter related is either footless or fleece :(

        Skivvydoodles will be great in the future but no h0liday prints as far as I can see — the bigger kids are getting holiday themes so I’d really like her to have them too.

        1. If you’re that hard-up, you could always get a plain pair and go iron-on or bedazzle a holiday theme on them. You could probably do some kind of custom order on Etsy if you’re not up for the challenge of doing it yoursef.

        2. In that case, I would go with Hanna Andersson and get her pjs AND socks or slippers – they have coordinating ones that are really cute. My toddler keeps the socks on if she has her sleep sack over them.

        3. Could you add cute socks and tuck them under the cuff of the pajama pants? That way her feet stay warm. The Hanna Andersson pajama cuffs stay in place pretty well so the socks stay on (Costco/Kirkland makes an identical style knock-off pj that we love)

    4. I just ordered some from Old Navy, I believe. We have to use footie PJs on my son because he always takes his socks off at night. I’d also check out The Children’s Place – their PJs have held up pretty well for us through two boys. Finally, have you checked out Zulily? It’s a flash-sale site, but they often have cotton and/or organic cotton PJs and often have “themed” shops like those for the holidays.

      1. Zulily takes about a year and a half to ship- I wouldn’t rely on it for Christmas presents!

    5. Depending on the size of the kiddo, Children’s Place has cotton footed sleepers including some pretty cute Christmas / winter prints. They’re called Stretchies, and they go up to 2T

    6. What about cotton pajamas with a pair of fuzzy socks? Feet are covered, but a bit easier to find than footed pajamas.

    7. You might put up a custom order bid on Etsy – I imagine someone there could make them for you!

    9. Try Hanna Andersson or babyGap. Hanna has a lot without feet, but I’m almost positive I saw some holiday themed cotton, footed jammies there when shopping for my baby the other day.

  5. SO and I are expecting and, with the holiday season beginning, we have been having a lot of discussions children and holidays. I would be really interested in hearing from those with children–what do you do for Christmas/other holiday gifts for your kids? What is your budget? Does it change based on the child’s age? And do you look to keep the same budget for your children, or same general number of presents, or one big present each, or what?

    I imagine that when the kid is young we will keep it very modest and simple (I mean, how many gifts can a one year old appreciate, especially when I imagine grandparents will go a little nuts). But what about as he or she gets older?

    1. One of the neat ideas that I’ve heard bandied about is “something to wear, something to read, something they want, and something they need”

      I know my mom makes an effort (even now – there are 4 of us and we’re all over 21) to make sure she spends about the same on everyone, and that everyone has about the same number of things under the tree. I think budget is about what you can afford to spend, and about the message that you want to send your kid about Christmas.

      I think you can still stay modest and simple as the kid gets older too, if you want. Christmas doesn’t have to be all about the presents :) Do you want to build other traditions into that time of year? One of my favorite Christmas time traditions is having home made cinnamon rolls (dad’s usually in charge of making them, but mom or I can do it in a pinch) for Christmas morning. It costs time instead of money, but is one of the things that makes Christmas for me.

    2. We try (I say we, but I do all the shopping) to have one toy present for the kids that is a surprise, from Santa. Then the other things are things that they have asked for or books that I think they’ll like, but not too many things – 5?6? The two older ones get the same number of presents, and the baby gets as little as possible this year! (she won’t remember). I don’t really have a budget but usually no one gift costs more than $30, unless they are getting a bike or something. I expect this number will go up as they get bigger.

      I don’t usually get them clothes for Christmas – those are usually separate.

      1. And also, I think we got one present for each kid when they were under 2. The grandparents get them a ton of stuff and they *really* don’t remember it at all, or care. The toddlers like playing with the ribbons and boxes more than the presents.

    3. No answer, but we try to do one small permanent gift (ornament, charm for charm bracelet, engraved julep cup, etc.) and something fun to unwrap. Then we judiciously rotate toys into various closets and rubbermaid tubs so that something can be new for later. And sometimes they never rotate out but go to the thrift store so that the influx is matched by the outflux. Gift cards have been good since they can teach what things cost and how to spend wisely and we can talk about the giver and write another thank you note. Also gifts of things they use a lot: this backpack is from Aunt Susie, so they think about the act some. There is craziness, yes, but maybe you can corral it into memories and stories about people and less about OMG GIMME STUFF.

    4. I really the idea of experience gifts. It can be as simple as an annual zoo membership or as big as a family trip. You can still find a cute way to present it- for example, my parents gave me new sheets and some stationery for the gift of summer camp. Also, we don’t buy separate gifts from mom and dad, he just gets stuff from Santa

    5. If you are religious, getting into the habit of advent calendars and an advent wreath can be a nice way to direct the focus of the celebration. So can establishing traditions early- if every Christmas they get pajamas, a new wall calendar, and a book, those become fun traditional items instead of the lame boring gifts.

      1. Until all you want to do is buy a nail polish advent calendar for yourself… bad wildkitten…

    6. Growing up, my husband’s family did LOTS of gifts, while my family did no gifts (only experiences – one year we got private ski lessons, another year, tickets to the Nutcracker, etc.) So far with our own children we have done one practical gift (books or clothes) under $25, and, now that our oldest is old enough to appreciate it, one experiential gift.

      My parents are very good about giving mostly experiential gifts – one thing they do that I like a lot is when we go on a trip or vacation, they give my oldest $20 to spend on whatever he wants – so when we are in a museum gift store or cafe he can pick out something himself without asking permission from us.

      The other grandparents give toys – we keep an Amazon list of things our kids want and developmentally-appropriate stuff, and they mainly choose from that.

      On birthdays we have established that our child chooses a meal but otherwise no gifts – instead we think about ways to volunteer. So far my oldest has always chosen to go to a local pet rescue to “help” with the dogs – more playing than helping but they don’t mind and I don’t mind and he loves it. My daughter is too young to choose anything yet.

    7. I just kind of make a list and keep track of what I’m getting for each kid so it’s somewhat fair. I don’t have a budget per se, but I have a feel for what I want to spend. It usually shakes out to about 5 presents per kid, with one big one. This year that’s a bike for my 8 year old daughter and NBA tickets for my 10 year old son. The rest are toys that range from about $10-50.

    8. The actual budget varies for us depending on how our year went, but we usually do a stocking (using the something they need, etc posted above as a guide to fill it) a Santa gift (the biggest gift), a gift from mom & dad, new pjs Christmas Eve, and they pick out gifts for each other and me & dh as well. Sometimes we’ll do a new Wii game for the family too. Mil always does a book, a game & a fun present for them.

      Now that our boys are getting older we try to keep the budget the same for each of them, and they often get the same gifts because they aren’t that far apart in age and all have similar interests (like the year they all got iPod Touches). When youngest ds was little, though, he didn’t need as many toys (having 2 older brothers) so we were able to get away with smaller gifts.

      We try to keep things simple. It’s so easy to go totally overboard at Christmas.

    9. When my DH and his brother were kids, my in-laws created a checking account specifically for Christmas gifts, and my MIL would deposit however much every two weeks. It was a great way for her to keep on track so that she didn’t have to put the gifts on credit cards. At the end of the year she had X amount to spend, and she divided it equally between her two kids. My MIL was a stickler for making sure that the kids had the exact same number of gifts and that she spent the exact same amount on each kid (down to the cent), so if one kid got a more expensive gift he got a lot of socks and other small gifts in multiple boxes!

    10. I probably spend the most on my oldest (13 year old girl). My other two are still young enough that they don’t really notice (5 year old boy and 2 year old girl). I try to make sure they all have about the same number of things to open, even if the cost isn’t really the same. I imagine this will change though as they get older and I will make the spending more equal. I also get each one an ornament and a book every year. Though I will admit last year, the toddler ruined her blinds in her room, so she got new curtains for Christmas! (In addition to a couple other gifts.)

      They also get a family experience gift with something to represent it so that there is something to open (for example–zoo membership–each child also got a stuffed animal, Disney World trip–each child also got a Disney character shirt, Beach vacation–each child also got a new swimsuit, Yellowstone trip–each child also got a flashlight and guidebook.)

    11. For my oldest (4 yr old), we usually spend $150-200. It’s more when we buy larger, long lasting gifts like a train set or bike. This year is the cheapest by far (~$100) because we have all the ‘big’ things already and I got lucky with prices on the things we were going to buy. We don’t stick to a certain number of gifts or specific budget, but our gifts do tend to fall naturally to the “wear, read, need, want, Santa, stocking” categories.

      Our youngest (1.5 yrs) has been getting less so far because we have nearly everything from the oldest. I expect next year or the year after that we’ll be shopping at a similar level for both kids.

      We very rarely buy toys outside of Christmas and birthday. The terrain looks a lot different if you ‘buy as you go’ vs wait for a gift-giving occasion.

    12. We try to keep it from getting nuts, but we do get each child a few small toys, some books, often a piece of clothing they need (like a warm jacket or boots) and usually one “big” present (this year it will be more magnatiles). So probably around $150/child. I would buy less, but my husband is a big gift-er and really loves getting them stuff for Christmas.

      Two sets of grandparents plus one set of gay uncles = present bonanza, especially with my nutty MIL. My mom is better than the others about getting useful and/or small presents, but I have no compunction about putting some of the toys away for later or donating stuff (my mother in law gives some bizarre stuff sometimes).

      One thing that helps is that we try and open the Santa presents before my in-laws arrive on Christmas Day. Also, I have no compunction about telling off the relatives who get upset that the kids aren’t interested in opening Present Number Twenty (I wish I was kidding).

    13. Related question: at what age do kids grow out of Christmas gifts? I grew up in a secular Jewish family and hanukkah presents were regarded as for little kids. Somewhere around middle school we stopped getting them. My husband’s family, on the other hand, still does Christmas gifts for all the kids (youngest is in 8th grade, oldest is in college) and the kids have horrible gimmes every year. Does this ever end, or is Christmas the kind of thing you do for life?

      Figuring out what to get them is not the problem – my mother in law sent a list of what we were to get each member of the family, complete with amazon links to the specific item – but I just find it strange that we’re doing such a gift-centric Christmas given their ages. The kids routinely get 15-20 presents each.

      1. Hmm. My parents still get me gifts, and I’m in my 30s!

        We don’t exchange with our siblings who have their own kids – just get stuff for the kids.

      2. I still exchange Hannukah gifts with my immediate family (parents, adult siblings) and a few friends. Part of my SO’s family celebrates Christmas, and we do gift exchanges where everyone draws one other person’s name within their generation. All the aunts/uncles do one exchange together, then the adult cousins, and then aunts/uncles tend to get a little something for all the school-age cousins. Participation is truly optional. The organizer circulates a list with everyone’s wishlists (some people do have very specific items, others have a mix or general “black tunics in size medium, new release action movies”).

      3. My folks are conservative midwestern WASPs and I grew up Presbyterian. I think it is a cultural quirk, though your in-laws sound pretty extreme (I’d never circulate wish lists unless pressed).

        Here’s the thing: well into my teens and in college, Christmas and my birthday (October) were the two times of year where my parents bought me practically anything that wasn’t food, school supplies, or a book.

        We were pretty upper-middle-class, but If I wanted a particular toy, game or item of clothing, I was going to have to wait for my birthday or a holiday. I also received the bulk of my new clothes over the holidays and in August (back-to-school). While I got a modest allowance, I often got checks for Christmas or my birthday, which padded out my discretionary shopping for much of the year.

        Now that we are all adults, we exchange gifts in the $25-50 range, with some outliers if someone is feeling flush. I rarely buy my kids “big” presents outside of Christmas and birthdays, either.

      4. I’m in my 20s, my sister is older and getting married, and we still all exchange gifts for Christmas. We also started getting gifts for our parents from a pretty young age (elementary school, probably – as long as I can remember – obviously the gifts back then were things we made). My sister’s fiance also gets gifts from all of us. My entire adult family (extended) still exchange gifts as well, though a few years ago we changed to a Yankee Swap system (with still giving gifts to godparents, grandparents, and similar).

        Reading this, I guess my family does a lot of gifts. I do not have any children, but we all exchange a lot of gifts. We don’t typically care about the exact amount spent on each other but instead the thought is important. We usually have around the same number of gifts, though sometimes one person has like five more than the rest. We also include a lot of necessities, though.

        I’ve also never understood asking for gifts. To me, gift giving is about the thought behind it.

        I have friends who are Jewish who still get multiple gifts a night for Hanukkuh.

      5. We still get gifts from our parents, and give to each other (4 siblings, one married, no grandkids), but it’s 2 or 3 from Mom/Dad, and usually one each from the siblings (sometime they go in on stuff together). IMO, 15-20 gifts for a kid (no matter what the age, although I realize g-parent gifting can factor in) is a bit excessive.

        Maybe your gift this year could be a copy of “The Bernstein Bears Get the Gimmies”?

        1. I think this depends on what the gifts are. As I said, we all give lots of gifts, but these include clothing, things that are needed, etc. Often each person gets one larger gift (switches off who it is from – just happens naturally). So I guess if you buy things for your children/family more regularly, this would be reduced. So I’ll often get 15-20 gifts (or more), but that includes stocking stuffers like chapstick, socks, nail clippers, etc., needed items like jeans ($10-15), baked goods (homemade), other homemade stuff, etc. Most of the gifts are not high in price – and I always work to get mine on sale. It’s all about the thought and being able to help each other out rather than about the gifts themselves or how much anything costs. My family isn’t wealthy, either, but my extended family is very close (and large). I typically spend a few hundred dollars on Christmas each year on my list (4-5 people that I buy a lot of gifts for, 10+ people that I get one or two smaller things for). This year, I spent under $200 (and am done).

          Reading through this, I think the big difference is that we tend to give more but smaller gifts, including many needed items. I’ve never gotten anything like a trip or such.

          As a note, I’m in the Boston area (my family is from here) as well.

      6. My parents still give each of us a gift. Now that we are all married, it is usually a couples gift, like something for the house or sometimes just cash. My dad takes us all on a vacation every year and that is usually considered part of our gift.

        My siblings and I only buy gifts for the kids and our parents though.

      7. Thanks guys. Interesting to hear what other people do. Sometimes with this family I have a hard time sorting out what is a difference between my family and his family and what is a specifically Christmas-related difference that would be weird to me no matter what family I’d married into. I don’t know any other adult Jews who do hanukkah presents, so I’m also interested to hear that others do this. No snark intended – thanks for the perspective.

      8. Sounds like my in-laws. My family does a Hanukkah gift exchange and we draw names and put a cap on it – this year it was $30. Instead of “Secret Santa” it is “Hanukkah Harry” or whatever title someone makes up for that year. My grandparents (the ones that raised me) would usually get me one thing that I wanted but wouldn’t spend money on myself – a Nook one year, new jacket, things like that. Nothing crazy.

        Husband’s family…it is a little out of hand. “What do you want….” is a common question, and the youngest is well out of college. I usually make something fun – homemade cranberry dressing and Meyer lemon jelly one year, fudge brownies and sugar cookies another year, tomato sauce, tins of dried herbs from my garden (sage, thyme, marjoram and oregano usually).

        One year we bought a sister in law a nice bike, because we were going to do a big charity ride together and she didn’t have a suitable bike. We got it for her for “Christmas” because that was the start of training season, and we’ve never lived it down. Now the other sisters want to know when it is “their turn” to get a high value present (the youngest one asking is 29…).

        I still buy for my brother, who is 21, but I’m the only relative he really has so I want him to get something nice every year.

      9. My parents still give us me gifts. In my family, gifts from extended family stopped around the time we started going off to college.

    14. I think it’s a good tradition for the child (starting at toddler age) to pick out several toys of their own in November or December to donate. Then you’re starting a tradition of giving to the less fortunate and making room for presents.

  6. Is it worth it to send a thankyou note for an interview a week late? Or is no thank you better in that situation?

    1. I wouldn’t notice a week late, particularly since I’m assuming you’re in the US and your interview was right before Thanksgiving.

      1. I just sent one (email) last night for an interview last Tuesday, so you’re not the only one in this boat! It just slipped my mind with everything else going on. Hopefully they’ll be lenient because of the holiday weekend. :)

    2. I would not send it. (Full disclosure: I am not a fan of them in general, because I think they can hurt but rarely help, but in any case but I think you have 48 hours at most to send if you do.)

        1. If it helps, I never notice if someone has failed to send a thank you note and always appreciate when I receive one. I don’t think it would occur to me if I received it a week or so after the interview, but I probably would have already turned in my evaluation by then.

        3. Last interview I had, I sent the thank you note at least a week and a half after (some other emergency stuff happened, and I just did not get around to it). I felt weird about sending it late, but I got the job. Don’t stress too much – if they want you, they want you, and the existence / timing of the note is probably not going to make or ruin you.

      2. @Nellie: can you explain in more detail why you are anti-thank you note? I’m just curious. Thanks!

        1. Sure. Mostly for the reason I said: they are unlikely to help, but can definitely hurt— e.g., an inadvertent typo, not addressing the recipient as the recipient would like to be addressed, etc. (E.g., I have been annoyed by being addressed as “Mrs.” not something a candidate would know I find grating, necessarily). All those X-factors you don’t know could annoy people and tip the scale in favor of someone else.

          I am also on Team Letter Not “Note.” I think handwritten thank-you notes are too closely associated with personal gift-giving, baby showers, etc. I think particularly a lot of female candidates conflate business etiquette and personal etiquette. If a thank-you letter is sent, I favor a professional email, or a business-style typed letter, preferably sent via email, and hopefully following up substantively, not just “Gee, I had a nice time meeting you.” Because of modern hiring practices— in my experience, for example, I had to evaluate both biglaw associate candidates and government-lawyer candidates on the day of their interviews— I think an email, day-of- or maybe next-day, is the only way to even have it seen before your impression is sealed.

          Personally, I have a never read a thank-you note than resulted in an improved impression of someone, even if it doesn’t hurt. If I didn’t want you to get hired before getting the note, I’m not going to be swayed by your thank-you, and I’m not going to think it makes you a more polished candidate (just that you are a slave to oft-misguided career services “must-do’s”). I freely admit that my distaste for this convention could be the reason for that, though.

          2. I also disagree. A well-written professional thank you note is appropriate and welcome. While I would not hold the lack of a note against an otherwise qualified candidate, a well-written note is like push points in my book. It has nothing to do with conflating personal etiquette with business etiquette. It has nothing to do with being female. It is simply good manners and another opportunity to express your interest in the position and demonstrate your writing ability.

  7. Any comments about Sam Edelman re: quality and fit?

    After a long search for tan knee-high boots I think I’ve fallen for the Sam Edelman Penny boots, but I can’t find them in stores in Canada to try on/view in person. I’d be ordering them from Nordstrom, and returns are a pain from Canada, so I thought I’d draw on the hive’s wisdom!

    2. Usually the Bay and Town Shoes carry Sam Edelman – so maybe you could try on similar boots if not that style. It might be worth a trip to the Bay. I find Sam Edelman not super comfy, but cute. Narrow/small would be my feeling as well (not enough to size down but depending on where you fall on the size spectrum).

    3. I have two pairs of these boots, which you can see in action through my tumblr. I really like the back zip and I like the asymmetrical top. For reference, the boots I normally wear and find comfortable are Cole Haan (either the Air or the regular) and Born (run a little wider than I need, but fine for the winter with thick socks).

      The Penny might run a little narrow. That’s fine for me because I have narrow-ish feet. I can wear very thick socks with the Haans and the Borns. But with the Penny, I have to wear regular thickness sock (thicker than a trouser sock).

      1. Do you find the asymmetrical top flattering on the legs? I’m on the fence about that…

        I’m okay with narrow-ish shoes, so long as I can fit socks and a thermal insole in them, so maybe I’ll size up?

        1. I find it flattering, yes. I don’t know if this will mean anything to you, but I was leaving the house while wearing them the other day and going down the front stairs. My husband looked up at me and said, “Your legs look incredible in those boots.”

          He’s not normally given to that kind of commentary, so I think he genuinely meant it. Then he suggested I get another pair and I was like, “Well… turns out I already have two…” He laughed.

          1. Excellent! I was unsure whether the asymmetrical tops would be good or bad.

            If I can’t find them at town shoes in Canada, I’ll just have to bite the bullet and pay the $20 shipping and $50 (!!) duties/taxes – I’ve been looking for a pair of brown knee high leather boots for probably three months, and I cannot get these off my mind, so they might be “the ones”.

    4. Any idea as to Nanette Lapore sizing? I found a long sleeved dress online which looks like it could be the perfect work dress but have no idea what the sizing is like.

      Thanks ladies!

      1. whoops. I have no idea why that posted as a reply to you but FWIW, I love Sam Edelman shoes. I’ve only tried the heels but I find them to be really comfy and well-made

      2. I’ve found it’s more designer (e.g. smaller) as compared to jcrew/banana, etc.

  8. send it, even if it’s late. I’m a hiring partner, and I’d assume it got delayed in the mailroom….just do it!!!

    1. The strap is a little fashion-forward, but nothing inappropriate about them.

    2. They’re fine for work. I had a pair like this years ago that I wore for dressy occasions, but that’s only because I don’t wear high heels to work. Love those.

    3. Love! They’re a bit dressy, but you could totally pull these off at work. (speaking at someone who wears heels about twice a month)

    4. That’s so funny. I am generally a gigantic “let’s wear all the shoes to work!” girl, but to me these look pretty evening-y. The bareness, the diagonal strap, the very high heel, and the toe cleavage say “Date Night” to me.

      2. I think that they would be fine with black tights or pants, but would read a little too evening/sexy for bare or nude hose legs. Though I think that it would be less in your face and probably work if the OP has dark skin.

  10. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving! I know that there are IVF blogs out there (oh boy, do I know!) but I thought I’d ask this crowd for their thoughts.

    Some of you may remember that, due to some indications of infertility problems (hormone and ultrasound testing–we haven’t tried to conceive yet) I have discussed freezing eggs in the past. My boyfriend and I have finally bitten the bullet and are in the process of freezing embryos together. For those considering it, I’m happy to answer any questions you may have–I’m only about five days in and so far the injections haven’t been all that bad. I definitely ready for this to be over with, but it’s not as bad as it could be.

    Here’s my question for the hive: this week and next, I’ll have to be out at least every other day for doctor’s appts and blood tests. It’s unpredictable (they call to schedule you the day before most times) and it’s stressful because it’s hard to commit to meetings, etc. Next week, I’ll have to do the extraction and it’s unclear to me what day it’ll be. Unfortunately, I realized I have a mini internal presentation on one of the days that I’ll likely be out. I’ve emailed to bow out but only said that I wouldn’t be able to make it that day. I really don’t want to get into the details of my medical affairs with my coworkers or supervisors, but I also don’t want to look like I’m slacking off since I’m pushing for a promotion right now. My guess is that no one will notice I’m out but me, but it’s still stressing me out. Any advice for how to approach these absences?

    Again, happy to answer any questions for those considering egg/embryo freezing or IVF (it’s essentially the same process up until extraction).

    1. Given that this only a short period in which you will be unavailable, I wouldn’t say anything if no one asks – you’ll have plenty of time after this to prove yourself. If someone does ask, I’d say something vague about having to have some medical testing done. I don’t think most people will press beyond that except to ask if everything’s OK.

    2. I’m all about the vague but professional: Small Medical Procedure that requires some tests and. If it were me, I would probably say to my principals (whoever you consider this to be) that you would be happy to schedule these meetings/etc; however, sometime that week you will be having a small medical procedure and a few related appointments. As these appointments are scheduled closer to the date, you are not yet able to fully confirm availability. I’m able to schedule normally starting XX.

      It’s fully correct, gives all the information necessary and keeps it from crossing a line.

      1. Thanks, that’s good advice! My instincts were to keep it vague, but I don’t want anyone to worry about me, either. That said, I don’t want people to start looking for a baby bump a full year before we’ll even try!

    3. If I can be cheeky, how much is it costing you? I priced it out in the Bay Area, and it seemed to be about $18K (but Bay Area is pricy).

      Do you feel the hormones have caused you to gain weight or be really moody?

      How did you research your doctor/lab? HOw would you know if a certain doctor is “good” at this vs. glossy brochures?

      I’m really new to all this, so can you give the names/links to some of the IVF blogs to explore? Thank you!

      Best of luck–we’re all pulling for you!

      1. Not cheeky at all!

        The procedure itself costs about $11K (not including copays and lab fees–about 8 visits so far) and the medications cost between $3-5K, depending on your regimen. I have been extremely fortunate in that my insurance is covering the cost of the medications and *may* cover the cost of the procedure itself. I won’t know for sure until it’s over and done with, but because embryo freezing is essentially the same coding as IVF (the only piece that differs is freezing the embryos rather than implanting them–that portion would not be covered), my insurance may cover those procedure codes as it would IVF. I’m extremely fortunate in that I have amazing infertility coverage. (I should add that I had a diagnosis of infertility from the get-go–that was also probably critical in their analysis of whether to cover the procedure). It is far more common (though perhaps still the exception to the rule) for insurance companies to cover the medication.

        I’ve only been on the medications for five days, but so far, I mostly feel bloated (hey, you asked!), have a small headache, and feel a bit sensitive (crying at commercials, etc). Nothing that is too hard to handle so far. It may get worse as I inject more hormones this week. I haven’t weighed myself but I’m guessing we’re only in the range of gaining 3-5 lbs.

        My doctor was recommended to me by a coworker. I initially went thinking that it’d just be for a consult, but after doing some research online (in particular, some of the infertility blogs out there), I decided to go with this doctor and his practice. I would research the top medical centers in your city and then read doctor bios and go from there. I wouldn’t base my decision solely on bedside manner, but know that it matters a lot in this context. I’ve been surprised at the things that will cause me to burst into tears in his office, but he’s been extremely compassionate.

        If you’re in the NYC area, I’m happy to give you more information about this specific doctor offline (I don’t want to out myself here)–just leave your email in the comments! The blogs that I’ve found the most useful are:

        Network 54 (high FSH support group): http://www.network54.com/Forum/209394/
        and http://eggfreeze.blogspot.com/2008/10/short-intro.html (this walks you through one woman’s experience, but it’s a bit old).

        I’m happy to answer any and all questions, too! I feel like I’ve done a lot of homework on this so I’m happy to share that info!

        Thanks for your support and well-wishes!

        1. I should add that this center offers a discounted rate if you do more than one round of freezing with them. This is common for women with my fertility issues.

      2. I’ll answer these too. The hormones did cause me to be moody–similar to pregnancy. I found I cried at odd times. They also caused me to get bloated–because your ovaries become the size of like softballs or something, but it goes down pretty quickly after retrieval. For me, in both cases, I became pregnant, so I was quickly moody and gaining weight for other reasons.

        I paid $12K the first time around (in a moderate COL midwestern city). The second time, insurance covered $5000, so it cost around $7K. We did IVF with ICSI for reference.

        I asked some friends, my doctor, and went in for a consultation with the clinic (standard practice anyway) to make my decision.

    4. I just told people I would be out for medical reasons, that everything was fine, but I would have some odd absences over a couple weeks. That said, the only day it was recommended I be out all day was retrieval, and I actually worked both of my retrieval days (two IVF cycles, three kids). One I had to go to court because I was in the middle of a jury trial that ran long (and a cycle that ran short), so I actually had to tell the judge and opposing counsel that I would need to start late due to a minor medical procedure that was unavoidable. Everyone was super understanding. The first time around, my boss knew what was going on. The second time, the partners I work for did not. One of them questioned pretty seriously if I was okay, but he was fine once assured that I was and didn’t press for details.

      Best of luck!!!

  11. Can anyone recommend a trusts & estates attorney to help us with the probate process of my grandmother’s will? Broward Cty, FL

    Thanks very much in advance.

  12. Thread jack, but figured its ok since it’s Cyber Monday! I am doing a closet purge in advance of a cross country move. I have 2 of “The Skirt” (the original, from 2011 I believe) that I wanted to offer here first for $35 each or both for $65 inc shipping. The skirts are both size 4 (runs big, I am normally a 6 in pencil skirts) and the colors are royal purple and light olive green. Pictures available. If you’re interested, please email me at iheartjcrew @ gmail

  13. So I was planning to get a few basic black pants from GAP in the perfect trouser style (which is what I know works for me), but there are NONE left on the website. It doesn’t say they’re backordered or anything, but they just aren’t listed at all. Does anyone know if they’re discontinuing the style or something? If they are, that’ll really eliminate the last reason I had to shop at that store. The quality has gone down a lot in my experience and the sizing is completely insane.

    1. I just bought a few pairs in charcoal and navy. I can’t imagine they’re discontinuing them as they are quite popular. I noticed they weren’t listed yesterday, but also noticed some of the jeans aren’t listed or have extremely limited sizing. My guess is that they’re just trying to clear out some stock (hopefully). You could try sending them an email.

    2. I have noticed Banana Republic occasionally removes items from their website on big sale days. Perhaps Gap does the same since it’s the same company? Check back tomorrow after the cyber monday deals end. I ordered a pair a couple of weeks ago, so they’ve had some recently.

      1. Gap definitely does this too – I notice it all the time with clothes I am watching for my kids. Big sale day and all of the sudden some of the items I had my eye on and KNOW were available the previous day are gone, only to miraculously return the day after the sale ends. Not the most ethical business practice.

        1. It’s not unethical to exclude some items from a sale. It might be misleading advertising, or bait-and-switch, but it’s hard to think of it as a major ethics lapse. Department stores do it all the time with their 20% off coupons and tiny print listing excluded items (such as Uggs), which are often the things people actually want and which never go on sale. (This might be a little different because the brands themselves may stipulate that they’re to be excluded).

          1. I think that having a sale with exclusions is different from advertising a site-wide sale but taking down items that you don’t want to include. I wouldn’t exactly call the latter ethical.

          2. I absolutely agree it is not an unethical practice to exclude items from a sale. It strikes me as entirely different when a store holds itself out as having a “no exclusions” sale, where it is expressly promoted as such (presumably to attract customers), but fails to mention that stock has been removed from the shelves (not just listed as “out of stock”) in advance of that “no exclusions” sale. The removal is presumably for the sole purpose of avoiding offering that stock at the discounted price while still being able to advertise yourself as having a super-special-amazing-everything-included sale. That’s the situation I’m referring to as an ethical issue. If you want to exclude items, exclude them. But don’t pretend those are items you just don’t offer at all, and then have them available for full price purchase the day before and after the sale.

            Of course, the fact that I notice this happening on the regular at Gap is a sign I spend far too much time online browsing for my kids!

        2. i find that if i have a bookmark that links to the item directly i can find it and purchase it but during a sale sometimes the sites search engine or browse will hide items

    4. Yeah, I guess that makes sense (business-wise) for them to remove their best-selling pants right before a sale day when people might want to stock up. It sure doesn’t make me a more loyal customer, though. That being said, I’ll probably still look for the pants over the next few weeks, but that’s really just because I’m too lazy to go to stores and find other brands that fit me as well.

      1. They also have 35% off discounts regularly. That 5% difference is pretty negligible so I’d hold out for one of those.

        1. This. You can probably even find them on a 40% off day (I think usually on Wednesdays?), just not cyber Monday. I haven’t paid full price for anything at Banana Republic or Gap in years.

      2. They still have the Navy and a Plaid version on the site this morning, they may have sold out of the other colors this weekend when they had their Black Friday sale.

    5. I don’t think Gap removed them from the sale. There was a 50% off promo for card holders all weekend so they probably are just out of stock.

    6. Did you run a search for them or just use the navigation bar? I accidentally deleted a short from my cart this morning that I put there a few days ago. When I used the navigation bar to go to shirts it didn’t show up but when I searched for what it was called I was able to find it and add it again.

  14. Are any of you Rettes going to the MA Conference for Women on Thursday?

    Anyone have any idea what the dress code is?

    Also, an on topic point: I was very disappointed by the quality of Akris Punto stuff. It is not even close to normal Akris quality. I understand that it’s 50% cheaper than Akris, but it is not nearly on par with other brands in the same price range.

  16. Today I’m thankful for caller ID. If I didn’t pick up the first time you called, do not call 3 more times in the next 5 minutes. If it’s that urgent, leave a voicemail.

      1. There is a guy who notoriously calls at about 5 till 5 on occasion. Always says, “Hi, Kj O’Irishlastname, this is Developer. Have I called you at a convenient time?”

        Thankfully he doesn’t know (or use) my direct line, so I always get a heads up from the front desk. I often say “voicemail please!”

        1. I am so glad that I now know what your screen name is! I always thought it was kjoirish lastname, but I had no idea what kjoirish meant! LOL!

        2. Why not say, “Actually, I’m about to run out the door. Could we talk tomorrow around 9:30?”

          1. You don’t want to open that can of worms with someone who doesn’t have the manners to leave a voicemail rather than call back 3 times in a row.

  17. (ugh, moderation!)

    Are any of you going to the MA Conference for Women on Thursday?

    Anyone have any idea what the dress code is?

    Also, an on topic point: I was very disappointed by the quality of Akris Punto stuff. It is not even close to normal Akris quality. I understand that it’s 50% cheaper than Akris, but it is not nearly on par with other brands in the same price range.

    1. Now that I know my Akris and Akris Punto sizes, I stalk them on eBay. For $100-$200, I do love them.

  18. Hmm. Ladies, I need some sartorial advice. I am wearing a metallic mini skirt to my annual holiday party next week (link of skirt to follow) and I think I am wearing some recently-acquired booties (link to follow) and some tight weave black fishnets. So I’ve got the bottom covered!

    I cannot figure out what to wear on top. V-neck black sweater seems safe, but kind of boring? I don’t know; I’m interested in what you ladies think. Suggestions? Should I just go naked? I guess that would seem festive…

    2. depending on your body type, I think an oversized sweater looks cool with winter mini skirts, tights and booties… but if you need something more formal, what about a silk button down tucked into the skirt?

    3. need to see metallic miniskirt.

      I like the idea of a sweater. I was at a party on Saturday where a woman was wearing a gold metallic skirt and a brown fuzzy short-sleeved sweater. She looked awesome.

    4. I’ve seen sequin minis with silky button down blouses and liked the mix of masculine and feminine. I’d rethink the fishnets as they would compete with the skirt.

      1. Now that I’ve seen the skirt, I agree. A whole lot o’ texture going on.

        And I need those booties.

  19. (Trigger warning for ED stuff). Soo, I have my first colonoscopy tomorrow (starting screening early due to family history & GI troubles, so already stressful) and am having a really hard time today with the fasting/clear liquids only in advance of the prep. As part of my recovery/history with EDs, I make a very conscious effort not to restrict my eating, but I’m surprised at how much not being allowed to eat food, even for a day, is affecting me – feeling so very anxious and out of control. It’s not the hunger that’s worrying me, it’s the worry, I think, that it’s the start of a slippery slope and will trigger a relapse. Which of course isn’t logical, but neither is anxiety or ED. Anyone have any experience with this/tips?

    1. I haven’t had any experience with having to fast post-ED, but I think the most important thing is for you is to mimic having as many normal food options as possible, and to keep up your blood sugar. Go to the store and get as many varieties of small bottles of caloric liquids as you can – even more than you’ll actually be able to drink in a day. Put them in your fridge and try to think of them the same as your food options for the day – it’s not something to restrict, just something to pick and choose from like you do with food on any typical day.

      Good luck, I know this is really hard, but it will be over soon.

      1. +1. Can you also make plans to signal a return to normal eating? Maybe dinner reservations or a great lunch option for the next day? Even though ED and anxiety aren’t rationale, I imagine the family history aspect is a significant contributor and is amping up the relapse concern.

    2. For years after I completed treatment for my ED, I didn’t fast for religious holidays – I didn’t trust myself, if that makes sense. I agree that planning something to signal the end of the fast would probably help to put some structure around the experience and help you to feel more in control.

      1. I am going to admit my own ignorance here as a lapsed Episcopalian, but I wasn’t aware of any fasting for religious holidays in the Episcopalian church? (Apologies if I got that wrong, but I thought that was your denomination).

        1. I won’t speak for cbackson’s personal practice, but some Episcopalians fast for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

          1. That’s right – I’m Anglo-Catholic, so fasting is more prominent in our tradition. I fast for Ash Wednesday and from the end of Maundy Thursday mass until the end of the three-hour vigil on Good Friday. I was raised in a different tradition (so small that identifying it has a good potential for outing me) and I also fast on the anniversary of the martyrdom of the founder of that church, although that’s not something the Episcopal church observes.

        2. Also, just to add – becoming an Episcopalian really helped transform my understanding of fasting. When I was anorexic, I refrained from eating because I felt like food was inherently bad. Now I fast because food is good and nourishing and a great joy, and because it’s fitting on those solemn and sad days in the life of the church to refrain from that joyful thing to help me more fully focus on that solemnity and sadness. I feel the same way about Lent – I never use Lent to try to break bad habits, because that’s not the point.

    3. I’m late to the game here. I don’t have any ED experience but I have plenty of medical fasting experience. For me, like others said, the key is to have variety and things that mimic real food as much as possible. My doc allows green and yellow jello, hard candies, broths (chicken/beef/veggie), Gatorade, pedialyte, etc. I make sure I have everything I’m allowed on hand and make it a point to “eat” the Jello and hard candies in addition to having my “bowl” of soup.

      Good luck. Prep is not fun at all.

      Also, don’t freak out if you don’t immediately feel like eating after. Sometimes you have to work back into it slowly like after having a flu. Have some easy to digest foods on hand for the day after. I’d reserve your celebratory lunch/dinner for the day or two after that. However, my scopes were always for problems, not just routine screening so YMMV.

      1. Totally agree with Blonde Lawyer. Be careful with that first meal after the colonoscopy…I just did saltines and some noodle soup and I was glad that I did. Do have everything on hand, and maybe even get some varieties of clear broth to choose from – I found mine at Whole Foods, by just ladling the broth out of the soup containers. I think I had lamb and chicken broth, so that was helpful.

        Hard candies were a life saver for me. It was good having something not liquid and it kept my mind off of it.

        Other than that, I think you have some good advice – choose a way to signal the “end” of the fast, give yourself lots of options, and try not to think of it as not eating, but only having clear liquids as a prescription rather than a choice.

    4. Thanks, ladies, for the advice & support. Made it through the day, with the help of a distracting project at work and an anti-anxiety med, though unfortunately the lack of food did trigger a migraine. Now at home and have gotten through the first half of the prep – incredibly vile! – and will have the second half in the middle of the night (my gasto likes split-dosing, so no sleep). I’ve been shivering most of the day, so am huddling under blankets on the couch between dashes to the bathroom :)

      Besides the ED/fasting stress is also stress about the scope itself – it’s partly early screening, partly to look into some ongoing abdominal pain & GI issues, so also trying to keep all that worry at bay as well.

  20. I think I’m finally going to buy some boots* (I know, I know). I’m just not quite sure how to go about it. There are so many options out there and I’m kind of overwhelmed. Can the hive help me out? What should I be looking for? Where to go? Can I order online, or is this something that has to be done by trying on multiple pairs? I kind of have short calves: should I be looking for any specific styles?

    *I’m talking about brown leather “riding” boots, or any brown style of boot that comes up to below-the-knee. Casual, not work, and intended to be worn over skinny jeans.

    1. What’s your budget? Frye boots are amazing and last forever, and they’re so stylish- I get compliments on mine almost daily. (I have the Melissa Button riding boot in bordeaux).

      I just ordered these because I wanted a pair of black riding boots that were more causal than my Fryes and that would look good with those thick, cozy boot socks- http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/otbt-putney-boot/3648375?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Mud&resultback=3495&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_9_C

    2. I also have shorter calves, and I really like Franco Sarto for a basic riding boot. I’ve been really happy with mine. If you like to try them on in the store, Nordstrom Rack usually has several styles.

    3. Also, I recommend ordering from zappos, piperlime, or another free shipping/returns website. Order a few pairs so that you won’t be sad if one of them doesn’t work out. Read the reviews to see what the sizing is like- I rarely order shoes online unless there are at least a few reviews. If you see a pair you like, google them to make sure you can’t get them cheaper on another website. Nordstrom has a lot of really good deals on boots right now.

    4. Zappos. I ordered multiple pairs at once and returned what didn’t work. Once you decide, google and make sure you can’t find it somewhere else cheaper.

      I ended up with the Frye Melissa back button in one of the brown leather colors (there are several different finishes, I don’t recall the exact name of mine). La Canadienne was a close second, except the dark brown was so dark it looked black.

    5. I love my Naturalizer Julletta boots. Bought them online from Nordstrom in case I needed the awesome return policy.

    6. Depends on whether you’re a “special” size. If you have small-ish feet and/or wide calves, you will want free shipping both ways, or try-on in store.

      I’m really picky about this boot, moreso than other shoes, maybe, because one minor detail can screw up the whole thing.

      Prior to my owning these boots, I was 40 pounds heavier, and a lot of that, oddly enough, was in my calves, so I couldn’t even try on these boots. Fast forward to last year, I bought the Guess Lurie for about $100 at our local mall Shoe Dept. We don’t have a fancy DSW or anything like that, so our options were pretty limited, but this was The Boot that I wanted as soon as I saw it. It was even awesomer that it fit like a glove.

      Now I am worried about how to replace it because I wear it at least 2x a week in the winter.

      Also remember that if they’re true leather, and don’t have a particularly substantial underpinning, that they will drop about 2″ once the ankle wrinkles. Just like real riding boots. Which are uncomfortably tall (like just to or almost past the crease of the back of your knee when new), to allow for them to be the right height once they do drop. That drop can get annoying, especially when you’re wearing them over tights or jeans, because they tend to shimmy lower when they’re riding across fabric, rather than the top leather lining sticking to your skin (as they would be when you wore them tights-less with a skirt, or under pants sans knee-socks). This is something that THEY don’t tell you and can totally change the look of a boot.

      However, if they have a pretty rigid construction (even with or without a zipper), they might not drop as much. Hello Gorgeous blog girl seems to have better luck with hers staying tall & upright (I think hers are Aigner?) without slouching at the ankle

  21. I am leaving my daughter (almost 2) with her grandparents for the first time overnight. (My husband and I will both be on business trips.) I’ve gotten some paperwork together, but I wonder if I’ve missed anything. For anyone who has done this before, do you have any tips? I have the following so far: medical documents (copies of insurance cards, physician info), medical release (notarized letter authorizing the grandparents to seek treatment), my itinerary/contact info, and general thoughts on bedtime routine, stuff that has to go to daycare, etc. I am trying to alleviate my stress by being hyper-prepared, so any advice would be appreciated!

    1. maybe an alternate childcare arrangement in case they have an emergency come up? As in, if one of both of them needs to go to the hospital or something like that, someone they can call to take care of baby?

      1. Thanks! We have daycare during the day, and then I think they have some neighbors on-call in case of emergency. I’ll confirm that though!

    2. Contact information for other local friends/moms who can help answer questions & help out.

      We left our 2 kids in the care of our daytime nanny when we vacationed for a week. My mom came to stay with her and the kids at our house midweek, and I left contact information for a friend who would install car seats into her car for the time she’d be around–the nanny already had seats in her car, but we wanted mom to have them too.

      Bedtime routine (or other routine) information; tips about expectations–maybe you guys limit screen time, that would need to be communicated.

      Make sure that daycare knows that you have other folks doing drop off and pickup.

      And, also, unless her grandparents are total wack-jobs, leave a little bit to them. If you normally limit screen time, maybe don’t worry so much about it on this trip. Treats/toys etc should be reserved for grandparents! That week we were gone, the nanny took the kids to Old Navy & bought them t-shirts and flip flops. Biggest hit ever. That’s part of the magic of you going away.

      And, if it’s really just an overnight, NBD. She might not even realize you were gone!

      1. Thanks! I am pretty laid back on the “rules” and I trust the grandparents so I didn’t put much together other than the bedtime routine.

        1. Yes to trust the grandparents. They’ve presumably raised children before and times haven’t changed that much. I think what you have gotten together is sufficient.

    3. Do your parents spend a lot of time with your daughter? Maybe giving them a heads up on any ‘toddler-ese’ or insider speak you guys have? My son (20-months) has words that my husband and I know but that would be gibberish to my parents. So sometimes he gets frustrated that grandma and grandpa can’t understand his (clear to him!) request.
      Other than that, we lay out our must happen list (food/snacks/bath/bed at a reasonable time) and try to be flexible on the rest (amount of TV, treats, etc.)

      1. Oh, that’s a good idea! They see each other fairly often (at least once or twice a month) and we were just together for Thanksgiving but a little toddler glossary probably wouldn’t hurt! Thanks!

        1. This is a great idea. I babysat a 2 year old a few weekends ago who refused to go to bed without “Yemmie.” I presented him with all of the toys I could find, hoping that one of them was the fabled Yemmie, but no luck and a very unhappy toddler at bedtime. When his parents returned, I learned that Yemmie is toddler-speak for Lamby the lamb. Who was on the couch the whole time.

          2. Awww, frustrating for everyone!

            I had tons of fun making a list of my kid’s words. “Mup” = milk, obviously.

  22. My friends hosted a small baby shower for me last weekend. It was low key and not too many guests, but it was really nice and unexpected. I am thinking about sending them each a nice candle to say thank you and then a separate thank you card for their gifts. Is this acceptable / appropriate?

  23. Totally appropriate. I gave my wedding shower hostesses an orchid as a gift. I’d say either know that they do (or don’t) like heavy fragrances and go from there. If they don’t, then pay more attention to a really cool candle holder where the candle is just plain.

    Ceramics are also nice–a neat artsy coffee mug or platter, or a drop dish for the foyer where they can put keys & change

    1. Thank you. They are all candle people and this is one of my favorite candles and scents. A drop dish is nice, but I am actually less sure of their decor taste than I am about the fact that they all are scent people.

  24. Just randomly discovered that Aquaphor hand cream works as a great leather shoe polish. Check it out if you’re in a pinch.

    1. Leather is just skin from someone else. Does that knowledge make me wear vegan shoes? No. Does that knowledge lead to me washing my handbags with gentle face soap? Why yes, it does.

  25. Does anyone have any good advice for dealing with your mother-in-law? This was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, and husband’s mom and I don’t really get along very well.

    Any key advice? She’s a very sweet, sensitive person and I’m a very direct communicator. Sometimes she feels like I’m bullying/intimidating her and sometimes I feel like she expects everyone to know what she’s thinking without saying anything.

    Or what are some techniques you have learned for in-laws at holiday times?

    1. I think it’s delightful that you’re able to communicate about your miscommunication rather than just each thinking the other is a terrible person, as happens so often. No advice here.

    2. I’m a native New Yorker with a Deep South MIL. She would never dare to disagree with anyone and drives me up.the.wall by never expressing her opinion/preference on anything. She’s trying to “not be a bother” and what sge does is cause me more stress trying to figure out what she ACTUALLY wants. So I finally told her. And now she catches herself when she’s about to make “no decision” and either makes one, or acknowledges that she knows shesc making things harder for me but truely doesn t have an opinion.

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