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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 155 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Dot Jacquard Side Buckle Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Dot Jacquard Side Buckle DressAnn Taylor is having one of their better sales right now: take an extra 50% off all sale styles with code ANNCHIC. (I tend to check out these sales, and then the rare “50-60% off the entire site” sales). Lots of lucky sizes (and some pieces are final sale, so pay attention), but lots of great deals, too. I like this dotted jacquard side buckle dress — it looks ladylike but interesting, and I think would be great with a cardigan, tights, tall boots or a blazer and pumps. It was $129, then marked to $90, but with the sale it comes down to $45ish. Ann Taylor Dot Jacquard Side Buckle Dress (Psst: Sister site LOFT is having a similar sale.) Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Cb

    That’s super cute! Shame AT adds on ridiculous duties on shipping to the UK.

    So ready for this week to be over, 2 more hours and then it’s jammies, sleeping in, and Doctor Who in 3D time.

    • Anon for this

      I am so envious – thanks to someone calling in sick, I will be here till midnight. But after that, yup, jammies, sleep and the Doctor! :D

    • NOLA

      Agreed on this week. So hard to catch up after being away last weekend and still not feeling well at all. Had terrible vertigo on Wednesday night and I’m just so tired. Unfortunately, I have a list a mile long for my errands this weekend. But still… then only 2 busy days of work before a 5 day weekend for Thanksgiving. I can’t wait!

      • Cb

        I was out Friday – Monday with a terrible cold and am hoping to use this weekend as a way to recharge my batteries for the crazy week ahead. There is a big event here and it’s all hands on deck for both my PhD and my sidegig. Somehow I got myself signed up to comment on the student radio? Hoping that my voice will have returned by then…

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      There is something in the water this week – I’ve been working until 1am and starting early on three days because of stupid time zones, two closings coming up in the next week and everything on both super urgent obvs… I’m going away for a christening over the weekend and all I want to do is go home, curl up with a glass of wine and watch Drop Dead Diva ad infinitum.

      • TO Lawyer

        Yup exactly this. I’ve had urgent deadlines ALL week that keep getting moved and pushed back (after I’ve already killed myself to try and meet them) and I am so over this week. I’m longing for a date with my couch and a glass of wine and an attempt to catch up on TV.

  2. For All Those Looking for Gifts for Small Children

    PSA for a great website for those of you looking for gifts that are not overly genderized, and that are creative and reasonably priced:

    http://www.forsmallhands.com/

    I just ordered some tiny work gloves for my son, so excited as he usually wears mine or his dad’s. There are many gifts in this vein, and you can sort by type of gift (woodworking, gardening, crafts, etc) or by age.

    • mascot

      What a great site. My son is all about helping around the house so we are happy to capitalize on this interest.

    • Anon in NYC

      Adorable! Another PSA – when my BFF was having her second child I wanted to get her oldest a big sister gift. I wound up finding these adorable books that you can personalize. So now her oldest has a book with her name in it, describing how she’s a “super incredible” big sister. The book I selected also comes with a medal, so we wrote her name on it. My friend says she loves it and tells her (in her tiny little 2 year old voice) that she’s a super incredible big sister. Heart melted.

      http://www.iseeme.com/

    • kjoirishlastname

      we LOVE Small Hands. They have really really great stuff, which, like you said, is not overly gender-specific. It is also really great stuff for developmental milestones. They’re Montessori-based things, which, if you’re unfamiliar, really pushes self-awareness, responsibility and discipline. We’ve had both of our sons in Montessori preschool (the oldest is in KDG and the youngest is in his first year of preschool at 3 years), and we’ve had nothing but good things to say about the methodology.

      • For All Those Looking for Gifts for Small Children

        Good to know. Our local public elementary has a Montessori program and we are really hoping the lottery for it goes in our favor when the time comes.

    • hellskitchen

      Thank you for both the PSAs – so helpful with the holidays almost here

    • EB0220

      This is great! My daughter is obsessed with the adult-sized broom and I need to get her a kid broom. Thanks!!

    • wildkitten

      + 1000. I almost posted this earlier in the week but then I forgot. It’s awesome!

    • Flying Squirrel

      Thanks for posting. This was on Slate the other day. I think the concept is fun, but I’m curious what other ladies here think about the following. One of the things I didn’t like about the ad itself is that it suggests that traditionally feminine things (like princesses and dolls) were somehow incompatible with science and engineering.

      As someone with advanced degrees in both (and that too disciplines with the lowest percentage of women), I really hate this stereotype. I was the girliest girl you could imagine. I refused to wear anything but pink poufy dresses until I was about 7 (like no pants ever), and I had about a million dolls. At the same time I loved legos…and from about the age of 2 onward I insisted that my dad didn’t know anything about fixing things around the house and would grab tools out of his hand to “help”.

      I’m having a girl in January, and I definitely don’t want her to feel like traditionally feminine things are somehow bad or less than or patronizing. I don’t want her to feel, like many women in my field do, that wearing a skirt or dress to work will prevent them from being taken seriously. But I feel like pitting princesses against engineering does just that…and forces a choice when there doesn’t have to be one.

      Thoughts from anyone else?

      • HSAL

        Wardrobe Oxygen has an interesting blog post about that today. I definitely agree with you that this isn’t a choice that needs to be made.

      • wildkitten

        Did you watch the video? They set up a Rube Goldberg machine using tea sets and dolls. I actually appreciated that it was saying pink feather boas are NOT incompatible with engineering.

        • Flying Squirrel

          yeah, I did. I guess I interpreted it as saying that girls don’t want these things, they want engineering sets. This is mostly because in the beginning the girls are watching a TV show about princesses, but decide it’s boring.

          I would rather see the princesses decide to build their own castle (or something like that).

          • hoola hoopa

            I can see both perspectives, and I think they are both valid. I think it’s confusing because the song lyric are anti-princess/pink, but the video seems inclusive.

            One of my daughters is all-girl (pink sparkles, socially-minded, etc), but she has to fake an interest in princesses and such because so many of her female classmates are focused on it, so I know the message of there being other girls who are equally bored by angelina ballerina would resonate with her.

            My other daughter would be wearing her princess dress while doing this ;)

    • WestCoast Lawyer

      Not trying to be argumentative, but I’m genuinely confused by your comment. If it wasn’t pink and/or trying to focus on things that some research has shown to be more common interests among young girls wouldn’t it be the same as all the other engineering product kits that are already on the market (which are presumably marketed towards boys, but are available to any girl who is interested)?

      I think the idea is to make it appeal to girls who may generally gravitate towards pink “girly” things so they can discover that they like engineering and other STEM-related activities. By saying it’s marketed to girls’ stereotypes you seem to be implying that there is something inherently negative about things that genuinely appeal to a lot of young girls. Instead, I would look at it as encouraging girls who might otherwise not think they are interested to give science and engineering a try – which I’m hugely in favor of.

      • kjoirishlastname

        I agree with what you said–I think that GoldieBlox are an interesting concept, but a better method to break the gender mold would just be for existing companies to promote girls in their advertising. I also played with Legos FOREVER, and am now more excited about giant lego sets for christmas than my 5-year-old son.

        Sort of like the Sesame Street approach? They were the first children’s (maybe any?) television program to be fully integrated, showcasing kids of all shapes, sizes and abilities. Why won’t Lego show girls playing with their City sets? That might be a more impactful stance.

        I am also a STEM -relative. I majored in landscape architecture (despite being flowery, it is still a male-dominated field), but am now in local land use planning. I work in a building full of engineers and GIS technicians. Oddly enough, though, there are more women than men (15/9), including two female department heads (engineering/GIS and planning/building). But it certainly wasn’t always that way. I suspect a large part of that is living and working in a town with a large, state-supported STEM university.

        The reverse could be said about dolls & kitchens and historically-boy toys. We have a kitchen set for our boys, and bought our oldest a babydoll (who still gets played with) when I was pregnant with #2 (also a boy). The funny thing is that I was looking for not-pink babydolls, and just went to buy a preemie boy sleeper for the otherwise genderless doll instead. Both boys refer to the doll as a girl. The youngest is lately insisting that all of his toys (stuffies, monster trucks, etc.) are of the female gender. This morning he told me that his monster truck was a girl, named Cynthia. And that she could give me a kiss. (Awesome, coming from a 3-y/o).

        I’m not sure what the solution is, but it is a really interesting topic.

      • hoola hoopa

        I work in a STEM field and have two daughters. They completely nail it with this product. One of the issues (there are many) that keep girls from going into STEM is that the applications presented are typically not interesting to the average female. I think just about every woman in STEM has a moment they can recall when a problem or example struck a chord with them and they thought “OH, wait, I can do THIS? THIS is actually something I’d want to do.”

        I hear the same complaints about the ‘girl’ lego sets, but I would LOVED them when I was little. I literally asked my parents for them constantly even though they didn’t exist. We have a mix at our house and introducing the ‘girl’ pieces really did stimulate more complex designs.

        • WestCoast Lawyer

          Yes, this is exactly what I was trying to say. I don’t think acknowledging that girls typically have different interests/ways of approaching things than boys is playing into stereotypes. Obviously, there are plenty of exceptions and we shouldn’t tell girls they have to wear pink and boys can’t play with dolls. But I think it’s great that we are starting to give girls options to see that STEM can have practical applications that actually fit really well with their other interests. I say this as someone who had a natural aptitude for math and science but never pursued it after high school because I didn’t have any good examples of career paths that were interesting to me at the time. Of course, now I am kicking myself when I see some of the possibilities I could have pursued with a more technical background.

    • Godzilla

      No specific comment except that I’m pleased that there’s a discussion about engineering on here.

      • wildkitten

        Whatever Godzilla. You were totally the kid that would just trample everything with your giant stompy monster feet.

        • Godzilla

          Common engineering school joke: Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. That would always make me RAWR WITH RAGE (I have a civil background).

          I also RAWR WITH RAGE when they blow up buildings and bridges in the movies. WHY, WHAT DID THAT BUILDING OR BRIDGE EVER DO TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!1111

          (The irony of this comment is not lost on me)

      • Interrobanged

        Me too! I have a degree Chemical Engineering and it always heartens me to see a discussion of women in science, engineering, and medicine. Of course, now I’m a lawyer and I don’t use that degree … but I still got it!

  4. Anonymous

    Is there such a thing as disposable shoe polish wipes? I’m not a big shoe polisher, but I’m keeping all my heels at work these day, and would love to be able to give them a little swipe when they need it. I have both regular(?) leather and patent.

    • Lo & Sons Q

      My husband keeps a little shoe polish kit at his desk. His shoes are horrible usually.

      A good shoe repair place can do a professional shine if you drop off a pair here and there. It makes a world of difference. I can do a good shine at home, but it’s such a process: cleaning, polish, wipe, repolish if needed, wipe, buff, buff some more. And I always put newpaper down so I don’t ruin anything (and wear yucky old chothes). My hands always smell after.

    • mascot

      They won’t work on patent, but the Kiwi Express shoe shine sponges are great for keeping at work. They come in different colors and in a clear shine.

    • lia

      I drop shoes off to be polished during lunch and get them back when getting lunch the next day

    • AIMS

      They were just doing something for corporate discount members (available through most alumni and bar associations), not sure if that’s still ongoing. And, they generally do a 12 days of Christmas type promo where for a certain number of days (not sure if it’s actually 12), a different category of items (e.g., all sweaters) will be 40% off.

    • Bonnie

      They don’t generally do discount codes but I did notice that they now have free shipping over $200.

      Regarding the posted dress, it is cute but I have a hard time buying summer clothing when it’s cold outside. I think sales have become ridiculous at places like AT and BR. They’ve jacked up their prices and just keep doing promotions. I don’t even look at them when it’s only and additional 30% off, knowing that there will be 50% or 60% off promotions.

    • BB

      If you have a store near you, they will often do a 40% off everything in store the day after Xmas.

    • meme

      They are having a Thanksgiving sale Friday 11/29 and Saturday 11/30 – 20% off with a Brooks Brothers card or a Mastercard and 15% off with any other form of payment. The factory store is 40-50% off everything in the store Monday 11/25 to Monday 12/2. (I’m not exactly a BB groupie; I just got a flyer in the mail last night.)

  6. Ciao, pues

    When do you tell your clients that you’ll be out on leave? I’m starting a 3-4 month maternity leave in January and have lots of clients whom I never see, so they don’t know that I’m pregnant. When is the best time to tell them and how? (also, I feel like there was a thread on this somewhere, but I can’t find it. feel free to point me in that direction!)

    • MJ

      I haven’t been preggers, but I can tell you from experience with colleagues that if you tell too early, there’s a risk clients will load you down with a lot of projects because you’ll be gone (which is exactly what you don’t have the energy for in your third tri. So…if you have a replacement all lined up and you think clients will actually move toward the replacement, tell them early and pass off projects. Otherwise, tell them right before you go, assuming that your replacement then will be able to handle things. Also, be sure to do a good handover/have handover notes ready. My firm would literally ignore pregnancies until the last possible moment, so it always ended up being the latter….

    • Lyssa

      I struggled with this, and ultimately landed on “when it’s relevant.” For me (in a general litigation practice at the time, with a lot of personal interaction (as in, I was the only one on their case) but sometimes not in person), that meant that some clients got told fairly early, if we were looking at scheduling things around the time that I might be out, and others much later. I think about 5 weeks before my due date, I wrote a letter to everyone saying I would be out on medical leave (most people seemed to infer that it was maternity, but I didn’t volunteer it) starting approximately X and through mid- February, and that they could contact X while I was gone.

      It seemed to work very well, but I was able to schedule things so that nothing really came up during the time that I was out (I wasn’t super busy, which is why I’ve since changed jobs). It may be somewhat different for you, but I would recommend letting anyone who would be directly impacted know when the information that might impact them comes up (i.e., when you’re scheduling something that might fall around that time), and others know 4-6 weeks ahead of time via form letter explaining what that will mean to them and who they can contact while you’re gone.

      • Lyssa

        Oh, I say 4-6 weeks rather than right before because you want to be prepared just in case things happen early. I think that I got all of the letters prepared a little ahead of time, then mailed them out a week or two later.

        Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

      • Nonny

        I agree with Lyssa’s advice. This is what I’m doing at the moment (currently approximately 6 weeks out from my own due date). I’ve already told a few clients in person, I’ve mentioned it to others in e-mails, I’ll be telling the remainder over the course of the next week or so, and I’ve even gotten new clients while being obviously pregnant. As long as you can reassure them that they will be properly looked after in your absence, it shouldn’t be a problem.

  7. k-padi

    It will be a sad weekend: I think it’s time to put my diabetic cat down. He is not enjoying life anymore. I am dreading telling the vet that it’s time and I really don’t. think adjusting his insulin again will bring any improvement. Any words of wisdom? Should I go to a different vet to do the deed?

    • BB

      No advice, but I’m so sorry to hear this! :( You’re doing the best thing for him, and I’m sure he had an amazing life!

    • Anne Shirley

      Awww so sorry to hear that. I’m not sure what your relationship with the vet is like, but I’d think stick with your current one. He knows your and the cat’s history. Explaining everything to a new vet sounds harder to me.

    • emeralds

      I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s always so, so hard to lose a pet. One thing you might want to consider is finding a vet who will come to your house to put your cat to sleep–we did this with my old family dog, and it was so nice for her to not have to go through the trauma of a visit to the vet, and instead go in a comfortable, familiar place.

      • BB

        I’m really glad to hear that this is an option. I’d heard about people doing it when I lived out in Asia, but wasn’t sure if it was allowed in the U.S. My cat is also getting up in years, and vet visits are horribly traumatic for her (to the point where she pukes, sheds, urinates, and defecates everywhere during the trip). I would hate to have to put her through that as the last thing we do together.

        • Anon

          I don’t know if this is true for every state, but we did this for all our pets in Tennessee. It allowed us to give them their favorite last meal and then have them fall asleep for the last time in their favorite spot. It still sucks, and typically home visits cost a bit more than vet, but it’s always been worth it for me.

      • AIMS

        Yes. This, exactly. Maybe your current vet can come since he/she knows the pet and the history. I think it’s so much more humane.
        I am sorry for your kitty and for you having to go through this. Big hugs to you both.

      • S in Chicago

        My vet offered to come to the house when I was agonizing after my dog had been through the ringer trying chemo. I don’t think it is something they advertise but more a matter of just being kind souls. (Ultimately, it wasn’t an option because he was in too much of a crisis to schedule.) Please don’t worry about how your vet will view you. He or she knows the decision is incredibly tough and comes from a place of kindness on what the pet has to be put through. My only regret with my guy was that 2 out of 3 vets were pushing me to put him down and the third was giving hope for remission. He went through so much suffering that it makes me feel guilty to this day. I’m so, so sorry you’re having to face this. But please don’t think anyone will judge you. If anything, your vet will probably feel very honored that you’re entrusting them with such an important event in your life. Your vet probably does this weekly. He or she probably recognizes it is all part of the journey more than anyone.

      • Interrobanged

        Agreed. Our vet does house calls for this purpose, and a few others. I am sure if you call your vet and tell him/her about the situation, s/he will be happy to arrange for a house call so your kitty can be in comfortable surroundings when the time comes.

        I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Huge internet hugs for you.

    • Sheila

      I’m really, really sorry. I’ve had to make that call a few times, and really, vet clinics tend to be quite good about it. One time, I literally called them up out of nowhere and said that my old bunny, blind from cataracts, lethargic and prone to bouts of not eating, was clearly just done with life and I wanted to let her go. And they were fine with it; I feel like ultimately it’s the owner’s choice at that point and if you feel like he’s done and it’s time to say goodbye I suspect they will respect your choice. And don’t worry about asking a different vet. It’s part of their job, and it may be helpful to go to someone you know. I know each time we had to do it the vet and the techs knew us and talked to us, telling us that we gave our bunnies a good life and that we were making the best choice for all concerned. They were very supportive. I hope that’s helpful. Be well.

    • wintergreen126

      I’m so sorry! I know how hard it is to put down a beloved pet.

      There is nothing wrong with telling your vet exactly what you said here: that your cat simply isn’t enjoying life anymore, that medication adjustments likely won’t make a significant difference, and that you think putting him down is the best thing. He should respect that decision.

      I’ll keep you and your cat in my thoughts.

    • Coach Laura

      K-padi, I’m so sorry for you and your cat.

      I 1000X agree with the at-home euthanasia. We did that with our beloved dog (great-grandma to our current dog) and it was my husband, myself and our teenagers together. It was so much better than going to the vet, which I’ve done five times between cats and dogs. It was like we were helping her get to her next phase for her soul, instead of a tramatic, clinical event. I’m crying thinking about it but it was weirdly beautiful. Thinking of you today.

    • kjoirishlastname

      So sorry to hear that. It is a really hard decision to make, but it sounds like you’re headed in the right direction for you and your cat.

      If you can find someone to do it at home, that would be my preference. I was hugely pregnant with my second son when we had to put my last dog down, and I just couldn’t do it. My husband took him (he loved the vet, oddly enough), and I felt terrible for not being there, but I know he understood.

    • k-padi

      Thank you. I will call the regular vet first. He is such a good cat and realizing that he is no longer enjoying life is hard. Thank you for your kind words.

    • Bonnie

      Hugs. We have been in your spot before unfortunately. Most vets understand that there is a point where additional medical procedures will just increase the pet’s suffering. If you call ahead, they should have a room ready for you so that you are not sitting in the waiting room.

    • Jules

      So sorry about this. Don’t worry about telling your vet your decision; he/she will have dealt with people who decide to put down an animal for much less valid reasons. I’m sure the vet will agree with you that now is the time and that you’ve done everything you can for your cat, but the vet certainly will not be judgy.

      And if the vet will come to your house, I agree that that’s much better for everyone, We have had to say goodbye to three cats in recent years and our wonderful/loving/sympathetic vet has come to the house each time. Our cats hate driving and hate going to the vet, so having this happen at home means that their last hour is not miserable.

      Hugs

    • Ellen

      Yay! Fruegel Friday’s and I love this dress and Ann Taylor and this is a great find. Fooey b/c they do NOT have my size.

      As for the OP, Super HUG’S to you, K-Padi, I know how dificult this can be. FOOEY!

      When I was a littel girl, my mom had a cat for us, and his name was Boot’s. He was so cute, but mom had him before she was married, so by the time we were old enough to APRECIATE Boot’s, he was about 17. I remember when Mom had to do this and she was very sad. Even dad was sad, and dad usueally does NOT show ANY emotion. Even at Rosa’s wedding, when he had to give her away, he was very smiley b/c he knew that Ed would be takeing her off his plate. Of course, Rosa was NOT high mantenance (me either), but Dad wanted to have some one else buy all of Rosa’s clothe’s and shoe’s and take her on vacation’s and all that. Also, when Rosa moved out, Dad converted her room to his “study” and he does NOT let anyone in there–even mom.

      I told dad about Vikram and he acted a littel strange. I think he want’s me to try it out with David, or even Sam, but not Willem or Vikram. I think b/c their name’s end in an M, he and Grandma Leyeh do NOT like that. It is stuperscitcious, but that is the way they are. I told him I HAVE to meet VIKRAM especialy b/c I put him off already once. Myrna says he will be cool to go out with b/c he is from Sri Lanka.

    • amelia earhart

      1,000 hugs to you, K-Padi. When I had to put my last dog down, I wish I had done an at-home, because it was a struggle to get him out of the house and into my car. During the ride to the vet, he seemed rejuvenated and fine, which killed me, but I knew his cancer had gone too far. It’s never an easy choice to make and I’m so sorry you have to.

    • Walnut

      I’m so so sorry. I couldn’t imagine your vet would be anything but understanding of your situation. Ask if they will come in home if your cat doesn’t do a trip to the vet well. I suggest having an amazing last few days with your cat. Favorite food, favorite toy, favorite treat, best place to nap – make it all happen. Does your cat adore sleeping in baskets of warm laundry? Then wash ALL the towels and ALL the sheets. Smile, laugh, cry, snuggle, look through pictures, take a few more.

    • Susedna

      k-padi, I’m so, so, sorry you have to do this, but I think you’re doing the right thing for him and I hope all that you plan for your cat’s last days turns out really well. *extra big hugs*

    • NOLA

      First of all, I’m so sorry. It’s a terrible decision to have to make. My brother and SIL put down their aged lab this week. Their vet told them to list the 5 things their dog liked best to do and when he could only do 2 of them, it’s time.

      Also, when my perfect boy cat died, we could have chosen to euthanize him at the vet’s office but we couldn’t face that. He died at home and it was horrible to watch him die. For our previous girl cat, the vet came to our house and euthanized her (both had kidney failure). We played music and sat on the back porch together. It was very calming. I would highly recommend finding out if your vet will make a house call.

    • k-padi

      Wow. Thank you. You are all so lovely. I have a depressing night tonight with a friend on a whole different issue but I hope to have some time at home this afternoon with my kitty. He doesn’t enjoy the things he used to: playing in the yard, “fighting” with the neighbor cat through the sliding door at night, cuddling with me. He just sits by his food and doesn’t fight when my other cat eats his food . So it is time. We are going to the vet tomorow morning. Thank you. Really thank you for your caring and kind words.

    • a lawyer

      Oh, I am so very sorry. I’ve had to do this with a 19 year old tabby, due to chronic renal failure and congestive heart failure. We did well for years (I gave subcutaneous lactated ringers solution regularly–the things we do), but there does come a time. When mine quit eating for good (sometime syringe feeding would jump start her appetite), I knew it was time. My thoughts are with you.

    • Miri

      I just had to put down my 16 and 1/2 yr old cat, who was in renal failure for the last several months, and had been sick for the last 2-3 years. I was also reluctant to go back to my vet. But I did. I didn’t intervene as much as “a lawyer” at 9:54pm, but allowed myself to be fooled into thinking that my cat was OK enough because she was still eating a little, excreting, and her coat was still shiny and cared for, notwithstanding that she was 1/2 her normal weight and wasn’t doing anything but those functions.

      I did go to my vet, she was very sympathetic, and Cassie was put out of her misery and I out of mine.

      So my sympathy and empathy are with you.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      From one diabetic cat mom to another – I’m so sorry to hear that!

  8. kc esq

    I’m looking to get my husband a field jacket/ barn coat for Christmas. Any brands I should check out?

      • kjoirishlastname

        ^^wss. Indestructible, and THE best customer service. They’ll pretty much take back returns regardless of why.

        You may try Duluth Trading Co. also, especially if DH is a funny size (tall, big…). A quick look, though, and their coats look a little more like true workwear (read: carhartt-looking) rather than Weekend Chic.

    • Brant

      I got DH a great one from Filson for his birthday. I’ll link to the one we bought but filson in general has great options. There were a few Barbour ones he liked too but they looked goofy on him (he has really large neck muscles so needs a jacket with very defined shoulders)

      • Etc

        Before you say they aren’t in fashion, there are Carhartt boutiques in many large cities.

        • kjoirishlastname

          This girl owns a pair of insulated carhartt bibs. And I wear them to work if I have field inspections in the winter!

        • CountC

          Hahaha, well no matter how many boutiques they have and no matter how excellent they are, I still will never consider them fashionable!

      • Anon

        Sorry to break it to you, but the hipsters have found Carhartt

        They’ve even taken xtra tuffss. For this Alaska to Brooklyn lady, it’s rather surreal.

  9. Aqualover

    I do not get why every single model on the Ann Taylor website is standing with one shoulder 6″ above the other. Like some awkward balancing contest or something.

  10. Anon Family Drama

    I’ve posted about this before..going anon for this.

    My sister is very difficult. I cut her off last year, I won’t get into details. It was very sad for me for a long time- I felt like I had suffered a “death” even though she was never a good sister to me. She is visiting my town and staying with family this week. I am already stressing about it.

    She usually is extremely argumentative (a bit with me, but more so my mother), and it’s very stressful to deal with. I don’t think she will try to pull that because she is trying to get in the good books. However, 99% of her conversations revolve around her. I get random emails talking about herself, and how her dieting is going, her parties, and “OMG I hope no one serves bread at dinner because i just can’t eat that anymore”. Never asks about me (not that I really care), it’s just always super self-centred behaviour. I fully expect a “who is skinnier” debate with me since she has been pulling that drama on me since we were in our 20s (I don’t engage, but the constant “you don’t eat enough” comments to justify my relative thinness get pretty annoying).

    Coping mechanisms? Should I be very busy at work and thus unable to attend most functions? I won’t/can’t avoid all of them, but I’m putting my sanity as my first priority.

    • Walnut

      I think one function – the one with the most people – is sufficient. Otherwise, you are busy and will be unable to attend everything else. No additional details are necessary.

    • Anne Shirley

      I forget who suggested it, but I really like the advice to treat it as though you are a visiting anthropologist. The good news about your sister is that she is consistently toxic in the same way. You don’t need to worry about if she’s going to press your buttons- you know she is. Definitely don’t need to go to everything while she is here, but for stuff you do want to go to have an escape- even if it’s walking the dog or entertaining a toddler.

    • L

      Bad habit bingo. If you hit X number of obnoxious traits (different ones) you win. Have a second and third card as back up. For each card you get to reward yourself with a prize that afterwards de-stresses you (mani/pedi/drinks with friends).

      • Anon Family Drama

        OOOH. There are clothes and things I want to buy. And this is how I may justify it to myself!

      • Anoooooon

        Nice! I do “If she speaks 10 sentences that don’t start with the word I, then I will [insert awesome thing I like to do here].” Somehow the anticipation of the ‘game’ makes it all more tolerable.

    • Pink

      Sometimes I find that bracing myself for it means that it doesn’t happen. Ie. I have an aunt who will say things without thinking and can be thoughtless to hurtful. When I remind myself to prepare for it, I find that between the holidays and such, she can be actually quite pleasant and hurtful things are not said. Instead, it’s those moments when you’re caught off guard that it stings the most.

    • Anoooooon

      I give one-word answers to my parents and then daydream about more awesome things.
      Sure, uh huh, yeah. *looks at pictures of adorable cat on my phone*

      For me it’s easy to engage and be argumentative – they’re obviously obnoxious and wrong, and they should know that. But gosh, it’s draining and emotionally painful.
      It’s much much harder to just let them go through thinking that I agree with them, but it really makes everything more tolerable. You’re an adult, you don’t need to justify your decisions or thoughts or who you are to your sister.

      If whatever she’s doing is really intolerable, I find a good standby to be “Man, I’m going to go for a walk. When I come back, maybe you can catch me up on what’s going on with the Kardashians [or whatever she can ramble about for a long time that isn’t you]?” If she insists on keeping up her annoying comments, “No, we’re not going to talk about my weight anymore.” Then, “I’m going to leave because you can’t stop talking about my weight. I said I didn’t want to talk about that anymore.” And then leave. All you can really control is your presence in a gross situation.

      I’m still learning to deal with very similar behavior myself, and I’m no always successful. You have my thoughts, best of luck.

  11. Michelle

    TJ–Does anyone have a recommendation for wedding dress cleaning in the DC/NoVA/close in MD suburbs? Many have recommended Parkway Cleaners, but the price they quoted me was so far beyond any price I got elsewhere (and drastically out of proportion to the cost of my wedding dress). Thanks much!

    • Flying Squirrel

      Don’t know about wedding dress cleaning prices, but I think Hurt Cleaners in Arlington (near Virginia Square) does a pretty good job with regular dry cleaning.

  12. Shopping Challenge

    Ladies, help. Doing engagement pictures, and I’ve got the ‘casual’ picked out (LE Ponte Knit V neck dress with pockets in blue with black tights and black pumps). I need something “dressy/formal.” It’s going to be December (Christmas time) and mostly outdoors, though I’m willing to freeze a bit to look good.

    Requirements: Under $200, available in plus size, dress, not black.

  13. Lazy Lousy Liza Jane

    Has anyone ever successfully convinced a student loan services to backdate a payment? I made one early to avoid my interest capitalizing, and I just realized that it didn’t go through because of a stupid error (typo) on my part. This will cost me thousands if they won’t backdate :((

    • Walnut

      I have not done this on student loans, but I have called multiple customer service reps until I found one that was knowledgable enough to do what I needed.

      • CountC

        +1 I worked in the industry, keep calling until you find someone who gives you the answer you want. Annoying, but effective.

    • Etc

      No experience with this, but please be careful doing this if there is the potential for it to have tax ramifications.

  14. Friend complains constantly

    I have a close friend who just complains All. The. Time. We text a lot during the day because we live in different states, but it’s getting annoying to me now because she’ll complain about every little thing that’s going wrong (“omg it’s so hot out today. ugh my boss is 15 minutes late to our meeting. ugh I hit so much traffic on the way home. I’m so tired today”) and on and on and on. Is there any way I can politely tell her that I don’t want to be the recipient of all of life’s little annoyances? She has a tendency to get defensive, even though she’s stated in the past that she would like to not complain so much. I’ve just been ignoring most of the texts and changing the subject, but I feel like that’s not really doing anything to stop them. TIA!

    • tesyaa

      Maybe she complains because she can’t think of anything else to text about, but wants to stay in touch constantly anyway? Is she a complainer in real life?

      Advice: ignore as much as possible. Text her back less frequently.

      • Friend complains constantly

        She’s definitely a big complainer in real life, too, but I think it’s even worse over text because she can just send all the texts in a few seconds each and it’s not like in a person-to-person conversation where she’d be able to see by my visual/verbal clues that I’m not interested in the conversation. I’ve been trying to ignore them and text less overall, but it’s not stemming the tide as of yet. I know I need to say something, but I’d just like to find a way to do it that’s sensitive and that doesn’t say “I don’t want to text at all.”

        • Godzilla

          So you’re asking how to change her behavior without hurting her feelings when you know it’s going to hurt her feelings? Welcome to adult friendships.

          If you want to spare her feelings, you’re going to have to lie. When she starts her complainy texts, reply with, “So sorry bff but I’m really busy at work. This is a very busy time for me and I won’t really have time to text.” Rinse and repeat. Outside of work hours? So busy with friends and family. So so so so busy.

          It’s all or nothing, unfortunately.

        • Anon

          I’ve had luck with a similar sounding friend texting something (in response to a string of complaints) like “ok ok, but tell me today’s highpoints?!” … it seemed to strike a balance between gentally calling out the negativity and not stopping the conversation. YMMV

  15. @Diana Barry

    Susedna here — apologies for not having emailed re: T&E lawyer, although now that I know a little about my family friend’s plans, it’s unlikely you’ll know someone who’ll be in her state.

    (1) Work and Thanksgiving pre-prep completely took over my life. Plus recruiting stuff I’m doing for my company.

    (2) I talked to our famiy friend and one of the issues is, she may want to move (again). For various reasons, she’d been in eastern CT for many years, then moved to one of the southernmost counties in NJ, and now is contemplating a move to FL.

    I think your general guidelines and the tips provided by other posters about how to find a good T&E lawyer are super helpful and will get her starting this process on the right foot wherever she ends up living.

    Thank you all again!

  16. meme

    Speaking of LL Bean (barn coat discussion reminded me), does anyone know if they do % off sales from time to time? I’m thinking of getting an expensive-for-me holiday gift there, and I will wait awhile to order it if they do Black Friday or other holiday % discounts.

    • tesyaa

      Yes, they do have these promotions from time to time, though usually only 10%.

    • preg 3L

      I received an LLBean catalogue that has a 20% off promo code on the back (and it says “free shipping, no minimum order, no end date”). I don’t know if it’s one-time-use, but I don’t plan to order anything, so here’s the code! GW 3204 3752 03.

    • kjoirishlastname

      They do discounts occasionally. Sign up for emails, and google-search promo codes. Especially this time of year, you will probably find something worthwhile.

      If you can really wait, or accept a substitute, you may want to wait for it to go on clearance (or scour their clearance). If it is not L.L. Bean specific (just that genre), then check out Lands End. They’re a little more polished in their current marketing scheme (not quite as Great Northeast Outdoors Mom Wear), and often have very comparable items, but sometimes with a little more modern edge.

    • hoola hoopa

      LL Bean doesn’t typically mark-up, so their sales are pretty minimal. That 20% code is the best you’ll see all year (although they may offer the same deal at another time… but I’ve never seen more than 20%).

      They often have a deal where you get a $10 gift card with a $50 purchase which works great if you are a repeat customer.

      Shipping is always free.

      • tesyaa

        I love my no-annual-fee LLBean Visa card. I get coupon dollars for each purchase. While free shipping is now standard, I also get free returns.

        • tesyaa

          In fact, inspired by this thread, I just ordered three LLBean Spillproof Travel mugs – one for my office gift exchange and two for my kids. If I change my mind, I’ll return them for free. :)

  17. Susedna

    I wanted to get an early start on the Thanksgiving mindset. (Really tough day today, so I want to focus on the positives and be thankful.)

    Here’s a mini-list:
    (1) I’m healthy and all the people I love are healthy. Many are thriving.
    (2) Everybody in my circle of friends and family who was looking for a job has found a decent one.
    (3) I’m planning a trip in Jan 2014 to see my best friend, who lives in near Cambridge MA. Am already making lists of restaurants, museums to visit, concerts to see. As it gets closer, I might be asking for recs (and maybe, just maybe, there can be a Boston area meetup?)
    (4) The administrative assistant for our group is that wonderful combo of smart and wise + kind and thoughtful. If she ever quits, I’ll be super sad.
    (5) Whoever posted here many weeks ago about the Ann Taylor Puff Sleeve Flare Skirt Dress
    http://www.loft.com/puff-sleeve-flare-skirt-dress-in-ponte-knit/314425
    YOU ARE AWESOME. When mine arrived and I tried it on, I knew it was a winner. I’ve since ordered 2 more. It’s a great canvas for fun accessories, a great fun silhouette, and IT HAS SLEEVES (pardon the e llen caps.)

    • Senior Attorney

      1. Even though it has been a long road with more to come, I’m very grateful to be out of my marriage. Super thankful to be avoiding the annual pre-hosting-Thanksgiving knock-down, drag-out fight about such topics as which dishes to use or whether it is unreasonable to expect one’s husband to be polite to one’s parents.

      2. The Big Boss made a special trip to my office yesterday afternoon to tell me I was doing a bang-up job in a tough assignment.

      3. My Marine will be back in the States in less than 4 months, stationed just 90 miles from home. Ooh-rah!!

      4. And Ellen and Godzilla. RAWR!!

    • Lady Harriet

      After more than two years of off and on long-distance job searching, I have a second-round phone interview next week for a job I’m 100% qualified for in the exact location where I’d like to be. It’s so nice to feel like someone I don’t already know might want to hire me.

      My family is coming to visit for Christmas!

      The weather in Florida is beautiful. I don’t miss northern winters at all.

  18. anon

    Question for the hive- what oufits would these booties look good with (link to follow)- the Viviene Bootie from BR. Would they work with the Sloan sheath, or are they too clunky/boot-like for a sheath? I’d love to be able to wear them to holiday parties/going out (bars/clubs) this season but I’m not sure what to wear them with. Help!

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