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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 136 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Gabriella Ponte Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Antonio Melani Gabriella Ponte Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. If memory serves, when this dress first came out it was offered in two more colors than what's left, navy and green. The green has very limited sizes, but I've pictured it so you can see the details — the seaming visually narrows the waist. I like the sleeves and the high V, as well as the work-appropriate length. (Also nice: This Melani dress.) The dress was $159, but is now marked to $95.40 at Dillard's. Antonio Melani Gabriella Ponte Dress Here's a plus-size alternative. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. Psst: as noted by readers in comments, the Ann Taylor Suiting Event just started — 30% off tons of suits, with an extra 10% off for cardholders. Stay tuned today for a round-up. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  2. Sydney Bristow

    Green is my favorite color to wear. This is lovely and I want all the green clothes!

    • Emmabean

      I have tried this on, and was waiting for the sale! It is a gorgeous dress – lined, and nice thick fabric. I lurve me some Antonio Melani.

  5. CPA Lady

    I love this dress too– its interesting and different but still classic, and a nice color to boot… good pick, Kat!

  6. Anon

    Does anyone have recommendations for therapy while in Biglaw? I would love a specific recommendation for a therapist in NYC (midtown west), but I’m also looking for general advice.

    Mostly, when do you find the time? It seems like the only time I have true control over are my mornings, but I haven’t found any therapists who take morning appointments before work! I know that I really need to be seeing someone now but it’s been hard logistically.

    Also, I’m not sure if other people experience this, but I am totally fine while I’m at work, no signs of depression / anxiety etc. But when I have some free time with my fiance at home, I become a mess. It’s clear to me that some aspect of my life is stressing me out under the surface but I think I really do like my job…

    • Wildkitten

      YMMV, etc. If I were you I would ask my PCP for anti-anxiety/anti-depression drugs, and if those work to take the edge off a bit, figure out therapy next. I have found a prescription to be really helpful at making problems seem less overwhelming (the whole “depression lies” thing) so that I can work on CBT better after starting some light meds.

      • CountC

        This. Also, you just have to make time. We are all trained that the world will collapse if we are out of pocket for a period of time. The truth is, it won’t. Your mental health is an important part of your over all health, so you have to put your foot down, so to speak, and make the time. Block it off on your calendar and go. If someone asks where you were or where you are going, you have a medical appointment. I would suggest trying to get the earliest appointment of the day, even if it’s after your normal work day has started. IME, the partners I worked with came in around 9:30 or 10:00 which gave plenty of time for a morning medical appointment. My therapist has evening appointments a couple of nights a week – see if you can find one that does that and then you can swing through on your way home and pick work back up afterwards.

        • JJ

          Agree with all of this, especially that you have to make time. Mental health is health, right? If you were physically ill, you would make time for a doctor’s appointment. Do the same here.

          All of us, especially BigLaw attorneys, are trained to think that the world will spin off its axis if we are not available at all hours of the day. It won’t, and we don’t need to be.

          Finally, if you see a doctor about this and your condition qualifies, you may be able to make your appointments as intermittent FMLA time.

          • Wildkitten

            I know that mental health shouldn’t be stigmatized, but I would just go to the appointments and not proactively out that you are missing work for therapy unless it comes up as an issue, especially if you are generally allowed to go to appointments and meetings without clearing your schedule with a supervisor. People notice a lot less about our schedules than we think they do.

    • L

      Zoc doc and psychology today’s provider finder. I just did a quick search on zocdoc and found some people with 7 am appointments.

    • MJ

      Honestly, I have been a longtime reader of AbovetheLaw, and this guy (Will Meyerhofer) is amazing. He gets biglaw and therapy, mostly because he’s been there, done that. If I lived in NYC, he’d be my guy. He’s one of the only voices of reason on ATL.

      http://abovethelaw.com/2010/02/biglaw-attorney-turned-psychotherapist-analyzes-the-legal-profession/

      Also, cosign the advice that it’s hard to break out of the office to have appointments, but you really do need to merely block it off and make it happen. Treat it like any other meeting and try to do it at 9am or 10am so that you can go there first, then work. You need to take care of yourself. Biglaw is hard.

      • Former Partner, Now In-House

        He sounds great, however, his would-be client who research the applicability of the privilege was not crazy: she needed to know that the privilege had attached and was solid so that she could be completely honest. Sounds right to me.

        • Anonymous

          Yup. Turns out when you are subpoenaed to testify, it’s not about whether you feel the love and respect, but whether you’re legally entitled to assert the privilege.

      • Anonymous

        I went to him when I was having depression/anxiety related to my legal career, and it was a waste of time. He spent the entire hour talking about how “the system is broken” and how he feels bad for me as a graduate during the recession years.

    • Franny

      I am in biglaw in NYC. I started seeing a therapist while on maternity leave, and I have continued since I returned to work. Unfortunately, my therapist didn’t have any morning openings, so instead I see her at lunchtime one day a week. I block off the time in Outlook, and I just tell people that I have a meeting that can’t be rescheduled if they try to book a call or whatever at that time. So far, I haven’t had to cancel any appointments, and I end up walking to and from the appointment most weeks, which means I also get in close to an hour of exercise. My therapist is great, and she sees a lot of biglaw types, so when I talk about work politics and culture, she gets what I’m saying without needing a lot of background. Unfortunately, she doesn’t take insurance, and she is on the UES, but in case you are interested, her name is Nicole Regent, and she is easily findable online.

    • Anon

      I recommend Alden Cass – he specializes in lawyers and finance people, etc. I worked with him when I needed some help, and he was really flexible with my biglaw schedule. He’s maybe not the most brilliant man, but he was really easy to work with and yes, ultimately I felt better!

      http://www.innervisionspsychological.com/

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      What about looking for later-night appointments? I know folks in NYC who have appointments at 8/9 pm who mostly just leave the office when its time to go without comment (and added bonus, you can go straight home after a tough session instead of having to pull yourself together to go to work).

    • Anon

      On the timing issue, I find it easiest to get away during lunch. Mornings are always hectic for me but if I walk out at noon, everyone just assumes that I’m grabbing something to eat.

    • Anonymous

      I know this is late, but in case it helps – if you can find a therapist who Skypes appointments from a different time zone that you click with that might give you more flexibility

  7. Tunez

    For those of you who work in a law office, are headphones appropriate? My last office was a cube farm and headphones were normal, so I’ve become accustomed to listening to something while I work. My new office is completely silent at all times (there are only about 5 of us here a day), but everyone is in too close of quarters for me to play music even very quietly through my speakers. Would discreet earbuds be appropriate? I am younger than the rest of the office by about 20 years, and I don’t think any of them listen to music.

      • TO Lawyer

        +1 – headphones end up looking unprofessional when you can’t hear your phone/people talking to you. I find if I keep one earbud in, I can hear enough music that it helps me focus but not so much that I can’t hear people talking to me.

    • AnonInfinity

      I’ve never really understood why earbuds are inappropriate sometimes. I can understand if you’re in an environment where people talk to you at any moment, but otherwise it seems fine to me. I’m a lawyer, and I do it all the time around the office.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I wear headphones. I can see if people come in to my office! Then I take them out and talk to them. I got complaints when I played music out loud (quietly!) so this is the best solution.

      • rosie

        I agree. I think you just have to make it clear that people are not interrupting what you are listening to. So if someone comes by, take your earbuds out immediately, don’t take the time to pause music/etc.

    • Tunez

      I work for very traditional partners (old boys’ club)- does that change the answer? Should I ask permission or just start doing it one day? No one talks to me but maybe once a day so I don’t think that part will be an issue.

      • emeralds

        Stick one earbud in, demonstrate that it won’t be a distraction, and trust that if it’s a major issue, someone will let you know.

      • Anonny

        Me too, and I wear them all the time. Senior people here say it’s the “young kids way of saying ‘my office door is shut'”. Aka – headphones in, you can “knock” but I am busy.

        • Anonny

          Holy moly, my comment showed up within minutes of posting versus numerous hours the other day!

          • tesyaa

            I noticed (using Firefox) that when my comment seems to disappear, refreshing the page makes it appear immediately.

          • Anonny

            That works to show me everyone else’s comments, but mine take anywhere from 2-12 hours to show up and I still can’t post original threads, only replies.

  8. Basic financial question

    How do I go about finding term life insurance for my husband and I? Just get quotes from a variety of companies? Go through a financial adviser? Any specific recommendations?

    FWIW, we’re in the DC area and don’t need other financial services (at the moment, we make $140k combined and have $60k or so in savings, plus retirement accounts through work).

    I feel like I should know this, but I don’t!

    • Anonymous

      Do you have kids? If not, you probably don’t need life insurance now (unless you have reason to worry about being uninsurable in the future).

      But FWIW, I am an insurance professional and my husband and I found our best deal through SelectQuote.

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      If you determine you do need life insurance, definitely get at least three proposals before deciding what to buy. Some places to look: Auto Club, the carrier with whom you have your home/car insurance, through work, through professional organizations, and as always USAA (if you are eligible).

    • ITDS

      Do you already have car, home owners or renters insurance? The same company will also have life insurance to sell you. You can call your agent if you have one, or just call their customer service line. We have had good experiences with Liberty Mutual insurance.

      • tesyaa

        You can buy life insurance from your property/casualty insurer, but since most don’t specialize in life insurance, they don’t usually have competitive rates. You can usually get something much cheaper from a primarily life carrier.

    • MNF

      I would go to a financial adviser – if you one, ask your tax preparer or estate planning attorney for a referral. Life insurance should be a component of your overall picture, so it’s good to start with someone who will take a holistic view. Plus 60k seems like a ton to just keep in savings.

      Also, I’m floored that an insurance professional isn’t recommending insurance!

    • OP

      Thanks for the answers so far! There is a kid in the picture, hence the need for insurance. We aren’t eligible for USAA, work life insurance options aren’t fantastic…we have renter’s insurance, but no homeowners or auto insurance, tax preparer or estate planning attorney. Realizing our life so far has been quite simple!

      We don’t have an a financial adviser, but it seems the decision for us will be whether to shop around or look for a financial adviser in DC…

    • Diana Barry

      You should look for an independent insurance agent. If you know an estate planning lawyer or CPA, ask that person for a referral. Do NOT go to Northwestern Mutual or another product-based salesperson.

  9. Peach Pye

    Does anyone have opinions on the Aquatalia Rhumba tall boots?
    At full price they are waaay above what I would consider paying for boots but at this time of year there is limited sizing at somewhat of a discount so I am considering a purchase. The reduced prices isn’t really within my comfort zone but I really like the look of the boot.( LaCanadians- on sale- are generally my price max) Can any rhumba wearers comment on whether they are worth the price? And do they slouch around the ankles? Thanks

    These are it. I hope the link works:
    http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Aquatalia-Rhumba-Stretch-Suede-Tall-Boot-Black/prod158600163/p.prod

    • Basics

      I bought them 20% two years ago on Amazon and wear them all winter. They are extremely comfortable (I am 7 1/2 double AA).

      • Basics

        Just coming back to add re: cost that these boots replaced a similar (though leather, not suede) pair of Cole Haan boots that I had purchased half-off at Nordstrom ten years earlier and wore constantly during all ten winters until the cobbler could not save them for another season. So it’s not just about purchase price but also about price-per-wear. I expect these to last just as long.

    • Anonymous

      Don’t buy them. It sounds like you can’t afford them. Don’t stretch your finances for pretty.

        • tesyaa

          The OP mentioned that the $500+ price tag is not in her comfort zone. She may be cutting back in other areas to pay for them – who knows? – but there are very pretty and functional boots available for far less than $500.

        • Anonymous

          She said their price wasnt within her budget! They are just pretty boots. Not worth stretching for. If that’s judgy then I’m happy to be judgy.

          • moss

            They’re not even all that nice, IMO. And they look like they only would fit stick-calves.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for all the replies. And thanks for the concern. The purchase will not break the bank. It is just more than I am accustomed to paying for boots so I am not certain that I WANT to afford them. ( My inclination to frugality is sometimes difficult to overcome). I tend to be very practical about these types of things but sometimes it is nice to be a little frivolous.

      • Carrie...

        I also considered these strongly, as I like the classic style and have narrow calves. Waiting for the Amazon sale was the cheapest I ever saw. But in the end I bought the similar style much much cheaper La Candienne, and I also waited for the sale. Yes, the La Candienne has some visible seams. But still very chic (I live in Chicago) and extremely comfortable and durable.

        Yes, this style bunches at the ankles, but that is the style. They are supposed to.

        In the end, the Rhumbas just didn’t justify the price for me. Totally up to you.

        • profmama

          I have similar La Canadienne’s bought on sale or 6pm for maybe half the price. If the price is a sticking point, but you like the style, you can find it elsewhere for less.

          The La Canadienne’s have held up very well, still look brand new after 4 winters (not that we’ve hand any rain here lately in NorCal, though).

    • PeachPye

      Also, I was trying to figure out if they were worth the premium price.From the replies it seems that I can find like quality and better styling for a better price.

    • AKB

      I have these boots – and I think they are worth every penny that I spent. (My normal brand is Cole Haan on super sale, so it’s not like I regularly spend a ton of money on shoes.) I stalked them on Amazon and got them 20% off. I am average build – definitely not stick calves – and they fit like a glove. They are waterproof, super comfortable and keep your feet and legs warm in the winter. Don’t let the cost turn you off – unlike some other expensive items out there – you are paying for the high quality.

  10. DatingSomeoneWithAHardChildhood

    Hello,

    I just wanted to thank all of you who took time to type out such incredibly thoughtful responses to my question on Monday. (Got pulled into something at work, and this is the first time I could post again when I thought you might see it). I really appreciate being able to learn from your experiences, both hearing from people who grew up in hard situations and have build good lives for themselves in adulthood, and those who are partnered with people who had rockier childhoods. I was scared, and I really value the reassurance, perspective, and questions to ask myself I got here. And it sounds like I should just relax, keep dating him (since I think he’s wonderful), and give us time to get to know each other and see who we are together.
    To those who engaged me on the use of the word influence; thanks for calling me out on that and bringing thoughts on that into this discussion. I was thinking when I wrote it about how my former boyfriends and old friends have influenced my life in such wonderful ways, and left imprints on my soul from their kindness and respect. I wasn’t thinking about wanting to be his savior, etc, but given the question it was an extremely poor choice of words, and your thoughts on that made me think.
    Thanks! I love this community:-)

    • anonymous

      I wasn’t able to respond to your post on Monday, and I think many commenters may have hit on my thoughts. As someone who had a rough childhood and grew up into a successful and emotionally healthy adult, what struck me was the apparent assumption that those with good childhoods are somehow better positioned on all fronts to do well/be good partners/etc. I feel that my struggles have “made me who I am” in ways that are frequently lacking in those who haven’t faced real adversity in life. Not that this is always the case, but I wanted to point out that it’s unfortunate that people seem to view bad experiences like this as a red flag or something that’s less desirable than someone who had it easy.

      The other thing that came across in your post that I wanted to comment on is that I think you should be careful to not reduce this person and your views of him to his childhood. It shouldn’t disproportionately dominate how you see him. I’m not sure if that’s the case, but it did seem that way from your post. Just make sure that you’re exploring the other parts of him and his life too.

      You seem very caring and thoughtful, though, which is wonderful :)

      • SoCalAtty

        I totally agree. My childhood was a MESS…alcoholic mom, ended up with grandparents on fixed income (they were wonderful, but money was tight and it probably taught me some good lessons!) and I would prefer to be judged based on who I am now, not what I went through to get here. It sounds like you got great advice!

      • Anonymous

        yeah, I really like that you pointed this out. Both of my parents had pretty messed up childhoods/parents. Like textbook examples. But they have turned out to be the most amazing parents and spouses to each other ever in the world, partly because they could be so intentional about the paths they didn’t want to take. I am lucky by comparison because they made my life pretty easy for me, but they would be the first people I would think of if I found out someone had a rough upbringing.

      • MJ

        Agree with this. My dad had a really awful childhood–his parents never really wanted kids, but he was born before birth control. He was actively ignored and neglected as a child, mother was an alcoholic, etc., which made him about the best dad ever! Sometimes people learn from watching the mistakes of their parents.

    • Yes

      I was thinking about this thread yesterday. My husband had a crappy childhood (drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, money problems) and it comes up in surprising ways, even after being together 20 years. Our teenager was going to the diner with some friends yesterday, and I told her she had to use what little is left of her allowance to buy her snacks; my husband later gave her money. I asked why, and he said that when he was a teenager and went out with his friends, he was always the one without money and it was horrible, and he wants our children to avoid that experience. So, I’m thinking our kids need to learn to save/invest, while he is trying to protect them from the pain he experienced and reliving some awful moments of his youth. He hardly ever brings it up, so it was surprising for me to hear those thoughts. It also helps explain why he always tries to pick up the tab . . .

  11. Batgirl

    I bought this cardigan (link to follow) and love it, but it’s a bit pricey for what it is and I plan to return it. Anyone have any leads on where to find it on sale or any similar cuts elsewhere? The key for me is that it wasn’t super long for my short frame. Thanks!

  12. Anon

    Any suggestions for DC therapists, preferably downtown? Finall taking the plunge.

  13. 2 Cents

    (Kat, this is in no way criticizing your picks!) It’s telling that whenever there’s a plus-size alternative to the “regular” pick that the same 3 things keep reappearing–because there is very little choice! As a plus-size person, I’d love it if we had more of a 2:1 ratio of regular : plus size items. (Or even, gasp, the regular sizes extending to plus!)

  14. nutella

    How do you runners wear your iphone 6 to listen to music? I have a hunch a belt-type fanny pack would be better than an arm band, because I’m not sure how easily the arm band would fit over long sleeves when it gets colder, but this is a hunch. Does anyone have any favorite products? Ideally I could fit a key as well, too.

      • roses

        +1. There are some knockoff versions on Amazon that are just as good too – just read the reviews.

      • meme

        +1. I love mine. I carry my iPhone6, keys, inhaler and epipens with no problems. I hate arm bands. But I’d go with the name brand. A friend bought a cheap version off Amazon and its flimsy and twisty and saggy and useless.

    • LilyS

      I have a Galaxy S5 which I think is around the same size? I put it in a plastic freezer bag and down the front of my b r a. Simple and easy.

    • Clementine

      A friend had some keys fall out of her flipbelt once and since then, I’ve been loyal to my spibelt. Stretchy fanny pack with a zipper closure. I love it.

      • anon a mouse

        +1 to SpiBelt. I also recently broke down and bought a nike belt with water bottles since the water fountains on my run are shut off for a couple of months for maintenance.

        I like the concept of arm bands but in practice I would also need wireless headphones since the cord pulling to one side of my body drives me nuts.

        • Anonymous

          Depends on your shape. I’m a pear and it bounces like CRAZY on me (then again, so does a flipbelt). It ends up at my high waist and is really uncomfortable and restricting.

          • Emmabean

            This may be too late for you to see, but I had a friend suggest starting out with the belt high on your waist. She said it was far more comfortable. I don’t have one, so can’t comment, but maybe worth a shot?

      • meme

        But the Flipbelt has a clip in it to hold keys – so this shouldn’t normally happen.

        • Anonymous

          The original one didn’t have the clip, but the new one does. I lost my original one (or I thought I did, I found it in the bottom of a backpack), so now I have two flipbelts. I prefer them over the spibelt, they don’t shift as much for me.

  15. Sunglasses

    Just got a great new job and am moving to Los Angeles! Any advice on moving cross-country? Any advice on LA in particular? Neighborhoods? Lifestyle things? I’m moving with my SO and our two dogs. No kids. We don’t want to drive across the country. TIA!

    • nutella

      Congrats! Neighborhoods/where you want to live depends highly on where your job is as traffic can have a major effect on your life. Where is your new job?

      • Anon

        Offices are in Burbank and my SO in Century City – we’d like something in between?

        • Alana

          Those areas are not close to each other, and even worse when traffic is taken into consideration. Do either of you have the option to work at home at least a few days per week?

          Lifestyle: You don’t have to take up yoga/juicing/[insert latest trend here] if you don’t want to. There are down-to-earth people, but they’re less likely to be seeking fortune and fame by any means necessary.

        • Hollis

          Yes, that spread not ideal. I’m thinking Miracle Mile, La Brea, West Hollywood, Hancock Park, and maybe Fairfax would be “in between” those two places.

    • New Tampanian

      I just moved to FL from MA, so not quite cross-country but a VERY long way from where I’ve lived. 1) Get movers – I suggest 3 estimates/quotes – have them come to your place and quote it out. 2) If you’re trying to be a bit frugal, I would pack up everything yourself (I did). For fragile items, like plates, glasses, etc, I just purchased those packing kits at home depot. Not a single thing broke. For larger items (TV, Standing mirrors) have the movers pack you. 3) Fly. If you can get the dogs on a plane I would do that. I have 2 cats and it was much less painful to take them on a plane for a few hours than to drive. Dogs are a bit easier as you can let them out of a car but I would still just want to get it over with. 4) If you do fly, pack essential clothing/items for a couple weeks and either send ahead of time to new address or check as luggage. I also made sure that I had a few amazon boxes waiting for me at my new apartment (cat litter, food, litter box, etc). 5) EXPLORE!

    • SoCalAtty

      Welcome!! Neighborhoods really depend on where you will be working. Short distances does not always equal a short commute. For example, my house is 12 miles from my office, but it can easily become a 40 minute drive in rush hour traffic. Neighborhoods can be weird, too…we seem to have many very, very nice areas buried in the middle of, well, not nice areas so be prepared for that. We started out near the beach (Marina del Rey), and when the rents got really crazy about 8 years ago, relocated to Burbank. That ended up being a shorter commute for my husband, so that’s nice! You’ll have to explore and see what you like.

    • PeachPye

      Definitely try to live someplace that minimizes commuting. Don’t think only about work but figure out where the type of things you like to do are located and factor that in as well. I used to live 10 minutes from work but about a 20 minute drive from everything else I wanted to do-groceries, dog parks, shopping, exercise, etc. Driving 20 minutes to everything got old. Depending on where on you live, beaches and trail walking areas are accessible without too much hassle, which is nice. Be prepared to get a lot less for your money in terms of rentals and even purchasing a house.

    • SSJD

      We moved last summer from the Northeast to Ohio after 14 years in one city. My first piece of advice is something I was told last June: be patient with yourself. Cut yourself some slack as you settle in in LA. What you do today without a second thought (pick up groceries, schedule a dental cleaning, pick a restaurant for dinner, get a skirt hemmed, get a waxing or haircut) will be almost painfully complicated for the first several months in a new place. Everything requires more thought, more planning, more research. I will say that I appreciate GPS at a whole new level!

      Another piece of advice is about adjusting to a new culture. It’s amazing how different our two locations are, and I can imagine this isn’t even as extreme as it could be. It has at times been painful to learn that my “normal expectations” are not the norm here. I’ve been amazed at how different the culture is regarding two-career families, snow days, environmentalism, appropriate snacks for kids, gun culture, attitude towards gay rights, etc. I wish I could say that I’ve done this gracefully. More often than not I end up really annoyed about things here and as my husband points out, that just makes me unhappy. Maybe if you go into it aware that things will be really different you’ll be less shocked!

      My other advice is to take some time off. It’s so hard to take long vacations when you continue working at one place. I left my Boston job a month early so I had time to organize and also play (lunch with girlfriends, daily exercise, shopping at my favorite stores). I loved that time to myself. We then spent a month on vacation with our children (we rented a farm house in Maryland and it was so relaxing). When we arrived in Ohio we gave ourselves a few weeks to settle in before everyone started work. Yes, this means that our move “cost” us a lot more money than if we had taken just a week or two off (at one point my husband calculated our lost earnings and it was obscene to think about), but I do think it was worth it. Life needs to include time to relax, explore, etc.

      Good luck!

    • Flying with Dogs

      If you do decide to fly, and you don’t have small dogs (that can be considered a carry-on item in a kennel) please look into the risks of putting animals in the cargo hold. Airlines are extremely lax about making sure the cargo hold is properly pressurized and temperature controlled, and many animals die while in the cargo hold.

      • Sunglasses

        That is HORRIBLE. Thankfully they are both small enough to be carry-on….

        • SH

          Don’t forget to take into account that if you carry-on a pet it usually counts as one of your carry-ons…

      • ALN

        Do you know if there are any airlines that are consistently good about pets in the corgo hold? Because if you have larger dogs, and you have to fly, there really is no other option. I’ve never had to fly with my dogs, but it’s something I’ve thought about, and been preemptively worried about.

    • MJ

      My cross country moving advice–use Atlas SmartMoves. They containerize your stuff so there’s no danger of losing some of your boxes. They load and unload the containers (as in the stuff in the containers). The pricing was excellent. As someone who has moved cross country 4x and abroad 2x, they were the most professional, painless move I’ve ever done. LOVE THEM.

      I’m from LA originally, but the beach, not LA proper….can’t give you much advice on where you’re moving specifically, unfortunately!

    • CJ

      Congrats on finding a job! I just moved here with my SO & doge last year and LA living is quite an adventure. It took me a long while to get used to the not-rain :)

      I put my car on a truck and it got here in about a week for about $1300 – it is totally worth the money – but be flexible with timing. They cannot promise exactly the date you demand. Google ”
      auto shipping”, basically all the websites look pretty shady but it’s a legitimate industry.

      DMV – getting a new ID? Make an appointment before you go! It’s amazing. (the drivers license test isn’t as difficult as website lead you to believe!)

      Download the Waze app – while you’re looking at apartments, try to waze an approximate commute, at the time you’ll be driving. When you’re not in LA it’s hard to conceptualize how long a drive will be. Waze is awesome.

    • Parfait

      The best neighborhood in Los Angeles is one close to where you work. Close as in TIME, not necessarily distance. If you can manage to not have a horrible commute – preferably one that doesn’t force you to get on any freeways — you will be able to forget why the rest of the country hates LA.

    • La catlady

      Hey there! I’m on the same boat. Just got a great job in Glendale and will be moving from Brooklyn to LA in 3 weeks!! I am not familiar with the neighborhoods and would love to find something similar to our current area -Williamsburg. I am in marketing and my partner, who will be taking some time off to find his dream job, is a Digital Art Director. We are city peeps and love to be able to walk around the city. What areas do you recommend? I’m reading about Silver Lake and Echo Park. My new coworkers seem very happy in Pasadena but I’m afraid it might be more for young families.

  16. anonymous

    I’m working full time and finishing my PhD on the side. I’m so tired when I get home from work, though, that it’s hard to get much done. Aside from getting more sleep, any suggestions on how to be more awake, alert, and generally productive in the evening hours? I want to shift my hours a little later so I’ll have a little time to write in the mornings, but that won’t be feasible for another few months.

    • ITDS

      Cut back on carbs at dinner? I find that nights when I’m having a grilled chicken salad (for example) I don’t get that “OMG I want to go to sleep at 8:30 PM” feeling after dinner that I get on spaghetti-and-meatballs night.

      • Baconpancakes

        Also, drink a ton of water. Make sure to see the sun for 20-30 minutes a day. I find yoga after work is also energizing, even a 20-minute routine like the Rodney Yee ones.

    • Maddie Ross

      A quick workout? 20 minutes on the elipitcal or treadmill or a brisk walk/run around the neighborhood (esp. in cooler months) helps me wake up. That plus lots of water.

    • Wildkitten

      If you can still fall asleep afterwards, I found having a cup of coffee in the late afternoon made my evenings way more productive.

      • Walnut

        My 4PM espresso was key while working full time + four nights per week of grad school.

  17. earbuds while driving

    All of this music / earbug talk has me wondering about the people I see driving while wearing earbuds. When I was little, I can remember that not all cars had sound systems. Now that many do, it seems weird to me that people would have earbuds on while driving — isnt’t that a safety concern?

    Signed,
    Reading too many personal injury cases lately and live in a contributory negligence state

    • Maddie Ross

      I sometimes drive with mine in because I’m using them to speak on the phone hands free – not listening to music. My car is too old to have bluetooth and I prepare the clarity of the apple earbuds with the microphone to most bluetooth headsets.

    • AnonInfinity

      Yes! I can understand not wearing earbuds in that circumstance because you must be able to hear what’s going on around you for safety. It also seems like it would be easier to become distracted if you were driving with the earbuds in.

    • Senior Attorney

      In California it’s illegal to have earbuds in both ears while driving. You should check the law in your state.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah I’ve always been told it’s a huge No No. You need to be present in the car.

      • Anonymous

        it is in at least a few other states as well. I’m trying to remember which, but I’m pretty sure Virginia is another one.

        And just FYI, I was told when getting training from a DMV that the primary reason for it being illegal is you need to be able to hear police sirens pulling you over and emergency vehicles.

    • Anonymous

      Yeh this is super weird to me. I mean even if you can hear someone honk, there’s still other sounds you may be subconsiously noticing (like someone pulling up next to you in your blind spot), or the slight screech of breaks, etc…. It also just serves as another distraction. I would never drive with earbuds in. But I also don’t tend to take calls via bluetooth while driving either.

    • anyanony

      In my state, it’s illegal to have both in. If I want to use the phone, I’ll sometimes talk with just the right earbud in and the other earbud tucked up somewhere and I don’t use buds that block all outside sounds. Works fine and I can still hear honks etc.

    • Wildkitten

      I assume people do it because using the headphones you have is easier/cheaper than buying/installing bluetooth just for when you’re in the car.

    • OP

      Thanks all!

      I amused to driving stick shifts and just do city driving, so I cannot fathom doing anything in the car but driving. Cars are dangerous — no need to try to be productive while driving (just avoid being destructive) :)

    • Anonymous

      It’s kind of silly to ban headphones while driving when most car radios are loud enough to drown out noises. I would never hear a horn when my radio is full volume, I can’t even hear my own horn. But it keeps me from intentionally running people off the road!

  18. LA brunch near LAX?

    Can anyone recommend a brunch spot in LA near LAX that won’t be insanely crowded on a Sunday around noon? I will be in the area for a few hours and want to meet my sister for brunch, but neither of us knows the area well. We’re willing to drive 20-25 minutes in any direction for a great place. TIA!

    • Asideralis

      There’s a nice Thai place within walking distace: Ayara Thai Cuisine. They open at 10:30 am, though. Is that early enough for brunch?

      • Parfait

        I heart Ayara Thai, but I wouldn’t think of it as terribly brunchy.

        Alas, Angelenos love nothing more than brunch, so anyplace great is going to be insanely crowded. Make a reservation. Cafe Del Rey is a good bet.

    • MJ

      In my opinion, it’s never too early for In-N-Out, and there’s one right by the airport ;)

    • platinomad

      So I absolutely LOVE Gjelina in Venice and you can typically get there from the airport in your time frame, however maybe you should make a reservation is it can get very busy.

    • West Coast

      First off, everything will be crowded for brunch in LA at noon on Sundays. Check out places that let you make a reservation, although they will be pricier. I would opt for The Stand House in Manhattan Beach, or Cafe Del Rey in Marina Del Rey. Both will be around 20 minutes from LAX in standard Sunday traffic.

  19. PeachPye

    If Ayara Thai is the place near the small shopping center that has the Staples and Bed, Bath and Beyond, I highly recommend it. Also, There are a couple of options on Main Street in El Segundo but I don’t know if they have brunch. You could consider the Proud Bird, which is directly LAX adjacent and in the landing flight path so you get to see the flights coming in overhead. The food is about average, though.

      • Peach Pye

        Their pad see ew is fantastic! As is their crab fried rice. And the pad thai. And…. well- you get the picture!

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