Coffee Break: Seymour Textured-Leather Tote

126 Comments

1. Ladies, I could use some shopping advice. I’ve decided I need some flat-heeled, short boots to wear under bootcut jeans or with skinny jeans on casual non-work days when I’m usually running errands and chasing small children. I’m open to black or brown. I live in Denver, so some ability to weather ice, cold, and snow would be helpful, but I don’t need full-on snow boots (already have those). Budget is $100-$250 or so. I also need something with arch support. Does anyone have something along these lines that you love? Thanks!

   1. Don’t have these exact ones, but I’ve been eyeing the Merrell Captiva Launch mid boots. I have the knee-high version and cannot say enough good things about their comfort; they do fine with snowbelt winters.

      1. I think literally half the women in Seattle have the captiva launch boots (but the slightly taller ones–mid-calf?). I have them in brown. They’re very comfy and waterproof, but the buttons have been known to fall off.

      2. They might be a bit too rugged but I love my Merrell Emergy boots.

   2. I love my Sam Edelman Pettys. You should be able to fit an insert into them if you need extra arch support.

   3. I love my Dr Martens. They’re good for snow and rain and slush.

   4. I have just bought these from aerosols. I was walking in NYC and had blisters so wore these right out of the store and they are very comfortable. The model looks very similar to the “outrieder” model on their website.

   5. I’ve been looking for the same exact shoes! Everything I’ve seen in stores so far seems either too casual or too dressy, or too short or too tall for what I’m after. I might make a special trip out to the Clarks store this weekend because they have some really promising looking options online.

   6. I went on an epic hunt for flat short black boots today and fell in love with a pair of Frye Anna Shorties. With 25% off at Macy’s they were just under $250. Not a ton of arch support, but they were so comfortable and fit like a glove. I also saw some good options for comfortable looking and fairly stylish boots at The Walking Store and Clarks, just nothing I loved.

2. Fun bag.

   I’m shopping for a floor lamp and feeling overwhelmed. Specifically, I want good quality that will last us at least 10 years. I know I want better than Target or Ikea, but I’m not sure if I’m paying for quality or name/style at Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, West Elm, Macy’s, etc. For this purchase, I’ll pay what I need to pay for longevity but I’m not interested in paying a style premium. I definitely don’t want to pay more for Target/Ikea quality, and I don’t have much time to shop around.

   Can anyone point me to a store that will sell me a quality floor lamp at a fair price?

   1. Do you have a Lamps Plus around you? I’ve never been impressed with Pottery Barn or West Elm quality.

      1. We do have a Lamps Plus! Never heard of it – thanks so much!

         I’ve never bought a lamp from PB, but I’ve been very unimpressed by what I have bought there. Good to know about WE because I’ve been coveting a bed there.

   2. this seems like a weird thing to be concerned about quality — I have lamps at all price points and they don’t really seem to be any different. The style and my personal budget is the only thing to pay attention to.

      That said, I have two floor lamps from Pier One that are great. They were probably $150 – $199 each. They are both only about 2-3 years old yet (case in point though, I have two table top lamps that are more than 10 years old from Target and they are still going strong).

      1. Ack! Scrolling and I reported accidentally. I object to nothing about lamps from Pier One.

      2. Fun story…my dad bought a lamp company in the early 90’s, just before everything was outsourced and it bankrupted our family. Anyway, lamp quality really isn’t better at higher price points unless you want real brass. Restoration Hardware has some nice stuff. But back in the day, my dad’s factory sold the same lamps to high and low end retailers and they just slapped different price tags on them. He told me this was true throughout the industry at the time…..

   3. I’ve gotten all of my nicer lamps off Craigslist – brass styles that look like they come from Restoration Hardware. Older things tend to be sturdier. It will probably help to see the lamps in person, jiggle them a little bit to see if they’re wobbly. Some Ikea and Target stuff is fine; some is not so much.

   4. We have a random lamp from Home Depot that has lasted more than 10 yrs. I don’t think lamps die, just bulbs.

      1. I agree, lamps are in their own category, quality wise. I have an Ikea lamp that I’ve had for maybe ten years and it’s still like new and I’ve never even had to change a bulb (it’s got some kind of special bulb).

         1. Hmm… that has not been my experience.

            Generally it’s not that the electrical wiring falters, it’s that the lamp tilts or wobbles, the shade is crooked, etc. I’ve had my fair share of off-kilter lamps that served their function just fine, but for this item at this time I just want to buy something and have it be sturdy right out of the box. I don’t want to do the set up, decide it’s wobbly, take down and return, repeat routine.

            1. Same here. I’ve had good luck at boutique lamp stores and be prepared to spend some money.

   5. Honestly, Target home decor is kind of killing it these days. My designer loves their stuff and from what I’ve seen in my current adventure, furnishing a house with pieces at all price points, price and quality are often only distantly related.

      That said, Lamps Plus is great, especially if you can hit a sale.

   6. I have an awesome table lamp that I bought two years ago from Overstock after returning PB and RH lamps that broke/ felt lightweight. The one from Overstock is heavy and expensive-looking, and was the exact style I was looking for. I think it is good quality–but I don’t really ask much of it. It turns on and off and looks great, so that hits all my requirements. It might be worth a look at Overstock.

3. Re-posting because my comment got lost at the end of the morning thread:

   Ugh. I found out today that one of my legal assistants is being laid off tomorrow. This is a financial decision, not because she is doing a bad job. I was asked whether I would want to sit in on the conversation with her or if I just want management to handle it. On one hand, I would kind of like to remove myself from the meeting because I truly didn’t have anything to do with decision, but on the other hand, I think she might find it comforting to have me there to reassure her that it has nothing to do with her performance. Any thoughts on what I should do? Also, any suggestions about things I could say or do that might be comforting to her? I obviously will write her a great reference.

   1. She’s losing her job. She’s not going to find anything comforting. Tell her afterwards that she was a great assistant and that you will give her a wonderful reference. Offer to put her in touch with anyone that you know of that needs a legal assistant.

      1. +1

   2. It might simply be enough for her to know you will be a good reference, and perhaps keep your ear open for any openings. What she needs is another job and whatever you can do to facilitate that is the best bet.

   3. I would it in on the conversation. Since its not about performance and you are willing to write a good reference this really demonstrates respect, trust and loyalty on your part toward her. Its not really about comfort because she is losing her job and that is never comfortable but if you are absent it could be perceived that you were hiding during the tough times and you don’t want that. Your paths might cross later and if you need to allow her to have this gracious departure.

      1. I agree with Mountain Girl. Sit in on the conversation and afterwards, offer recommendations, access to your contacts (via LinkedIn or otherwise) and give her your respect.

      2. +1 you should be there; the other management level people are in the meeting for the same reasons you are – ie: not performance related

   4. I just replied to you on the earlier thread (didn’t get to today’s posts until mid-evening) and don’t want to monopolize the conversation by posting the same comment in both places, unless Kat says it’s okay.

      Good wishes for tomorrow.

      No offense, but somebody should make sure to have some tissues unobtrusively within reach. I’m not saying that I’d expect someone to cry; I’m just planning ahead so that if tears happen, they can be quietly wiped away without any major damage to the person’s dignity. Crying at work is horrible, but having to stop the entire conversation to mop oneself up is worse.

4. Shopping TJ: I have an interview next week and need appropriate heels to wear with my black skirt suit. I’m a college professor, so the expectations are not quite as formal as they would be for law, but I still want something more formal than my Danskos (obviously). I’ll be in the Pacific Northwest, so I expect to be walking around in the rain. Finally, and most importantly, I need something with a wide toe box (but not wide width overall). I have incipient bunions by my little toes, and really don’t want to be distracted by the discomfort of fitting my feet into uncomfortable shoes for my research presentation. Any ideas?

   1. I really like the Cole Haan Air Talia and Air Monica shoes. One is a wedge, one is a flat, and they are both comfortable for walking around.

      1. Another vote for the Air Talia. Also, Geox have rubber bottoms and are soft leather that bends around my weird feet.

      2. Also in the PNW. I love Air Talia pumps and slingbacks but could not wear the wedges. First and only shoe that caused me to continually twist my ankle, and the final twist tore the leather upper near my small toe on one shoe.

         I love Calvin Klein Saxton wedges which look like the Air Talia wedges and are at zappos and amazon for 1/2 the price of the Air Talia.

      3. I completely disagree with this – I’ve tried Cole Haans including these, based on recommendations here, and found them to be consistently horrible for exactly this kind of foot (wide toe, narrow heel, insisting on actual comfort). If you’re used to Danskos, these will be torture devices. Try something from Clarks, Ecco or a similar brand instead – less style, but plenty for PNW academia, and also a lot cheaper. Good luck!

         1. Agreed. I have a similar type of foot and cannot wear Cole Haans of any style. Highly recommend Ecco, Clarks or Sofft.

         2. Yes, Cole Haan is generally terrible with width. The only pair I have from them that I like is the air talia wedge in wide – but that is really just normal width, not wide. I recommend something with soft leather and a strap like Gentle Souls Bay Unique, but I’m not sure how they’d do in the rain. There is a heeled Vince Camuto bootie that Nordstrom carries in a wide that is pretty comfortable, if you want a heel. Though honestly, your Danskos are fine I’d save the shoe purchase for something you really want.

   2. I mean this with sincerity and not snark: You’re an academic in the PNW and don’t think danskos are appropriate during the rainy season? I assure you that they are. I’d be genuinely surprised if half of the committee isn’t wearing something similar.

      I have a similar foot with toes that need their space, and I’d wear clarks or trotters for walking around a campus, particularly if your host is running you a little late. Look at Clarks Sage Copper (in black crocodile) and Trotters Paulina (black patent). If you want to go crazy, I like the Trotters Alexandra in grey but the suede isn’t such a good pick for the rain.

      1. Good perspective! I don’t currently live in the PNW, I’m interviewing for a job that would relocate me there. Also, thanks for the specific suggestions.

         1. Ah, that makes sense. For some reason it hadn’t occurred to me that you would be relocating. Get a heel that makes you confident, but seriously bring the danskos.

      2. Can you wear the Clarks Sage Copper in a medium width and still have plenty of room in the toe box?

         1. I have a normal but on the wide end of normal foot, primarily in the toe box. Regular width clarks fit me perfectly. A wide in a clark shoe is definitely too wide for me and fall off. IME, if you’re typically between sizes, go with the smaller with clarks.

   3. I have a longer post in moderation, but in the meantime look at: Clarks Sage Copper (in black crocodile) and Trotters Paulina (black patent).

      1. +1 for the Clarks Sage Copper. They are comfortable enough to wear all day.

         1. +2
            I just bought my second pair of sage coppers (this time the black crocodile) on Amazon, and they were prime-eligible. I have similar feet to yours. But–I’m also in academia–I might consider wearing a pair of sleek booties with a skirt in the rain. Like the Franco Sarto Agenda–which also worked on my feet.

   4. I’d go for a pointy-toe low heel, ideally a kitten heel. I have wide feet too, and I live in a pair of Fitzwells from a few years ago (that’s Zappos’ house brand.) I believe they may be WW.

   5. Denveranon and Sarabeth. Check out the Barking Dog Shoes blog. http://www.barkingdogshoes.com/ Kirsten writes great reviews of shoes that can accommodate various foot problems. I refer to her posts often when I’m looking for shoes that will fit my high arches.

      1. I do read that blog religiously! Which may be why my closet is currently full of Danskos and Merrells that I don’t really want to interview in…

   6. I just bought the Sabrinas Juliet pump on a recommendation from barkingdogshoes.
      http://www.footwearetc.com/womens/dress/_/sabrinas-34910-juliet-black-nappa-womens/#sthash.0Dl2Xrc9.dpbs

      I have bunions and one bad hammertoe so a roomy toebox is key. I also find pumps hard to fit because if I get a wide width to fit my bunions, my heels are narrower and they slip off. These were perfect. They are European sizing, which means a wider toebox and narrower heel, perfect for my duckfeet. I bought a Euro 39, which is a 7 to 7-1/2. I am thrilled.

      1. Oh, those look promising. Thanks!

         1. I realized my post has a typo — I bought a Euro 38 (7 to 7-1/2). If you try them, let me know if they work for you.

   7. I got the carrousel shoes from Clarks. They are comfortable, have a very tiny bow that is not too precious and you have different colors, material options. I went for the black leather.

   8. Go for comfort for this situation. I would absolutely NOT buy a new pair of shoes for a campus interview, not even a new pair of Danskos if you have to wear them in. You don’t have time between now and next week to make them comfortable and the last thing you need is to be worried about your shoes/feet/body aches. You will have enough distractions – you might have to walk a half-mile across campus, or stand for more time than you anticipated. New shoes + new weather for you = even worse combo. Your Danskos are plenty ok for the academic environment and no one will notice them, which is what you want.

      GOOD LUCK on the interview!!

5. Looking for recommendations for the best brand of lip liner. If it matters, I want to wear it under/with Nars ‘Manhunt.’ I’ve never worn lip liner, but I want some insurance against fade. Any tips?

   1. Go to sephora. You can try options on and get good recommendations.

      Personally, I think liner is a little passe and I’ve never seen the need for it but companies are still making it so I guess someone’s using it.

      1. Thanks! Love Sephora, but looking to order online.

         Any recs from someone who actually buys/uses lip liner?

   2. If you want drugstore options, I like Jordana (usually at Kmart or Walgreens), Milani and NYX. I have to use lipliner because without it my lipstick migrates.

      1. +1 on the NYX. It’s also available at Sephora (not sure about online b/c I usually shop in person). Highly affordable and I think the company doesn’t test on animals. I also like their eyeliner pencils.

   3. I like the invisible/clear liner by Dior. You can use it with any shade, and it does its job without actually looking like you’re wearing liner.

   4. Nars has a brick red lip liner that looks like it would work with Manhunt. That might be the easiest choice.

6. Needing relationship advice… My boyfriend and I are going to Paris in a couple of months for our third anniversary. To me, this trip is the perfect time to get engaged. I am so ready for that, but I know he’s not. How can I focus on enjoying this amazing trip without feeling sad that we’re not going to get engaged anytime soon?

   1. No real thoughts, just commiseration – I’ll be in Paris with my boyfriend in a few months, right at the 2.5 year mark. The thought of getting engaged in Paris has crossed my mind but I’m doing my best to focus on the trip and not any other expectation…

      Get into the details of planning the trip! You can’t help but get excited! Any recommendations or suggestions about what part of the city to stay in? Restaurants, etc? We’re looking at VRBO or AirBnB but I’d be open to an affordable and cute hotel as well.

      1. I love love love the Hotel St. Germain des Pres on Rue Bonaparte. A smidge pricy but it’s in a great neighborhood and makes walking to most of the city doable.

         If you email me at blindedbythelight26@gmail.com I will send you all of my compiled Paris recs (from many years of magazine clippings).

   2. I just want to say, I went through this sort of thing for months (5 years into the relationship with my now-husband), when I was sure I wanted to get married soon, and engaged ASAP, and he wasn’t quite ready. It was a rough spot, but I really think communicating about it helped me a lot.

      The only thing that helped me NOT dwell on this issue was having honest conversations about it with him. We hit a point where I could say, “you know, today I am feeling sad that you aren’t ready to get married.” And he could say, “I’m really sorry, I love you” and give me a hug. It wasn’t perfect, but it was way better than me trying to never think about it because there was no way to never think about it. I would be sad/upset for a couple of minutes, and then we’d go on about our day. I think that you can have an amazing trip in Paris even if you feel sad once in a while, and you shouldn’t feel like feeling sad once in a while is going to ruin the trip.

      1. Editing below and plus one to this.

   3. Well, the alternative is to not go on vacation with someone who is “really” not on the same page as you three years into a relationship. If you’re willing to accept being with someone under those circumstances, though, you don’t get to indulge sadness about not being proposed to; it has to be just another vacation (albeit a fabulous one). If you can’t get in that frame of mind, then the disparity between where you are and where he is probably means you should break up, not learn how to trick yourself into not being sad about it.

      1. So much this.

      2. TITCR

      3. Yes.

      4. I’m sorry but I have to disagree. If the communication is there, and you know it’s not a ‘no’ but a ‘not right now’, give tte relationship a chance
         I was in the same boat as the OP, went on lovely trip to Scandinavia at the 3-year mark, ended up crying an entire night as I had been expecting proposal, and then he proposed 3 months later in Hawaii because that’s what felt right to him (I know, we were leading a hard life). .

         1. She’s given 3 years.

            1. What, you expected engagement-readiness from day one?

               I am approaching the three year mark with my fellow. We have had the conversation where we both agreed we want each other in our lives in perpetuity. I have told him that “just in case it makes it any easier, if you ask me to marry you, I will say yes.” Ball is in his court. The pre-engaged state is not easy. I think we both know it’s coming. Just because he isn’t ready to do it right this minute is NOT a reason to dump the man.

               If none of those conversations have taken place and you’re just hoping? You need to have a conversation. But there is nothing wrong with one person being readier than the other unless it drags on far too long. And I don’t think the 3-year mark is it.

         2. I already posted, but I have to agree here as well–and agree wholeheartedly with Parfait’s follow-up. “[T]here is nothing wrong with one person being readier than the other unless it drags on far too long. And I don’t think the 3-year mark is it.” Yes.

            Relationships are different. For some of us, getting engaged after 2 or even three years seems pretty fast.

            Having waited until year 6 to get engaged, I can say in retrospect that things went the way they did. When my husband told me he wanted to get married eventually but wasn’t quite ready, it was an indication that he took the decision very, very seriously, and for me, that is a good thing. Difficult at the time, but good.

   4. My best friend just went through this. She really focused on planning things that wouldn’t make her think of “missed” opportunities to propose. For example, instead of an expensive, romantic dinner at the resort, she looked up food trucks and tiny local dives. And she’s not a super outdoorsy person, but they did hiking and boat trips, which she ended up loving. It ended up being a fabulous trip they both really enjoyed. In Paris, maybe focus on the incredible museums/history, shopping, and street cafes instead of fancy dinners or that silly bridge with all the locks?

   5. There’s a tall ugly building that is not the Eiffel tower that you can go up and it’s actually better because you can see the Eiffel tower from the building, instead of being on the tower and just seeing the ugly building. Also, you won’t miss the chance for him to propose on the tower, since you won’t be on it.

      1. I don’t think I’d give up going to the top of the Eiffel tower just to avoid missing some dude proposing to me, that seems so silly.

         1. +1. If you’d skip out on things you actually want to do/see in Paris because you’d be upset that you’d be doing/seeing them with your boyfriend instead of your fiance, then you need to reevaluate whether or not you want to stay in a relationship where you are clearly unhappy.

            1. Oh I missed the part where gazing at the Tour Montparnasse was something she was looking forward to as a highlight of her trip. If you want to do that, by all means, make sure you go up the Eiffel tower. My alternative is if what you want to see is actually the Eiffel tower.

         2. I think the point was to not go up the Eiffel Tower because it’s cheesy and not that great, as well as the stereotypical tourist thing everyone does just because it’s what everyone does in Paris, and the suggestion to go up he other building was because it is a much cooler thing to do (as well as not being the location of any of the ubiquitous, Tom Cruise-movie-style proposal scenes.)

      2. Ha! It’s also the only way to enjoy the Paris skyline without having the tall ugly building (Tour Montparnasse) marring your view :)

         1. Kind of like going up to the Top of the Rock and looking at the Empire State Building…

7. Edited

8. The poster asking for marriage advice earlier got me thinking…
   For those of you in long-term relationships, how many of you still have FUN with your DH after [so many] years? I think humor and fun are also key to keeping it alive, but can be hard to attain.

   1. I think (though often fail) that doing new things together is the key to having fun.

   2. Married for 10 years, together for 15 (wow). We still have so much fun hanging out together. Humor is definitely a huge part of it – my husband is the funniest person I know.

      Not taking anything too seriously is so important. When we’re on vacation and things go awry, or when life is pure chaos with the kids at home, we’re usually able to take a step back and see the ridiculousness of it. There’s really not a lot of stuff *worth* fighting about.

      Trying new things together keeps things interesting. For example, we are beach vacation people. However, our last trip together (without the kids), we went somewhere with mountains and spent the time hiking – which we’ve never done together.

      Finally, we’re generally nice to each other. We still say please and thank you, and thank each other for doing chores every night. It makes it easier to spend time together when you feel appreciated and when you actually vocalize your appreciation of your spouse.

   3. I still have fun with my DH 5 years after marriage and 11 years after meeting. For me, it’s the everyday little stuff like making each other laugh and talking/listening to each other at the end of the day. I love to go out to eat, go to concerts, travel, etc., and I love that my husband enjoys doing it with me — but right now, we don’t have the time, money, or health to do as much of that as usual. I appreciate so much more that he’s fun and interesting even if we’re coming home to eat takeout, hang out together, maybe take a walk, and go to bed early.

   4. Me! Together for 15 years. We can have fun with the two of us together (bad movies, cocktails at nice restuarants) and/or with our kids. Love amusement parks! Dh and I have more fun on the coasters than the kids. He is just sometimes fun and silly sitting on the couch with me/dog/kids. He is way more fun than I am, but I appreciate that in him, so I guess it works. Getting out of the house on weekends every now and then so it’s not all about groceries/kids sports/errands and doing something to do something fun is the key for us. Too easy to get stuck in the rut of day-to-day life, which we do all too often.

   5. I had a day off this week because I had a doctors appt. DH took me because he works from home and we spent the day together running errands at Home Depot, dropping stuff at the cleaners, picking up groceries, etc. That evening I realized how much I truly enjoy spending the entire day with my husband and thanked him for taking a day to spend it with me. We talked all day; some things were pretty important, some were fun and lighthearted. It’s days like this that make me fall more in love with him. Paris is great. But real life is made up of moments in Home Depot picking out lampshades and in the grocery store deciding on which cereal we should buy for the week. It doesn’t have to be new to be fun.

      1. This is so sweet and romantic.

      2. Completely agree!

         8 years for us. We have always found each other incredibly funny and love just hanging out together. IME it’s easy to get so busy that we don’t even look each other in the eyes some days. We don’t have to do anything new or exciting; we only time when it’s just us.

         Not holding resentment makes a big difference in the long run, too. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, when you’re wrong admit it and when you’re right shut up, and express gratitude.

   6. I don’t know from experience, but my grandparents have been married for 72 years (!), and they still seem to have a blast with each other. They read books together so they can discuss them, they see almost every new movie that comes out, they still travel the world together, they cook together, and they stay up on current events. I think a large part of it is that they try to continue to grow and remain interesting people.

      1. A grandmotherly person in my life once told me to find someone you want to hang out with all the time (which, based on the state of my dating life, is apparently easier said than done). But this thread is convincing me that she probably knew what she was talking about.

   7. Together 14 years, married 12 and we have tons of fun. We both crack jokes all the time, do things we love together, watch tv together, tease each other, and just generally have a great time being together. The rest of life is too serious, being with your spouse should be fun and relaxing.

   8. Married 9 and together 12. We definitely have some marriage issues we are still working on but having fun is not one of them. We make weekly date nights a priority and have tons of fun trying new foods, drinks and just having a conversation. We also don’t have cable (but do have a TV so we watch movies) so many nights we will just sit and chat after the kids go to bed or play a board game or just snuggle in bed with books. Never stop dating.

9. Y’all: I want to upgrade to some Ferragamos (low heel, to replace cheaper low-heeled shoes that I need rebuy annually). Do I order from Zappos so I can walk around in my living room for hours and contemplate? Or go to the dept stores near me (Nordstrom / Neiman) and try on in person (pro: can cycle through sizes and widths quickly, con: feeling hurried compared with days in my house). With cheaper shoes, I’m team zappos all the way (biglaw + small kids = always getting something from them anyway). For pricey, I feel like maybe I should slow down and go into an actual store.

   1. A knowledgeable shoe salesperson may be really helpful in picking the shoe and adjusting the fit (I’ve had them add pads and even stretch the shoe a bit to get the right fit).
      Plus, you can still take them home, introduce them to your closet, and do laps in the living room. If they don’t work, return them assuming the store has a solid return policy.

   2. I *just* went through this. Varas fit VERY differently depending on the material of the shoe (leather or patent), the material of the bow (grosgrain or patent) and width. Also, I could NOT figure out how to order the exact combination (shoe material, bow material and buckle color) online. I recommend going into a Ferragamo store to try them all on, at least in the first instance.

      1. Ferragamo store. I bought mine online, wish I had gone to the store as I think they would have put me in a different size. I now have beautiful flats that are a little too big and I wear an insole thing with. Not making that mistake again.

10. I’m feeling frumptastic this week, and I could use a major closet clean out/overhaul. I’m feeling like I have “nothing to wear,” when in reality I have a closet full of clothes.

    Anyone want to either (1) tell me what you’re wearing today to inspire me, or (2) give me your best suggestions for rethinking your closet or jazzing up what you already have?

    1. I think accessorizing is key to refreshing without buying a new wardrobe. Every so often I try to pick something I haven’t worn in forever and style it with new/different jewelry or different shoes than I would normally wear. That’s how some of the things I thought I didn’t like very much have become some of my favorites!

    2. What I am wearing will not inspire you but will make you feel better about yourself. I am wearing raglan sleeve thick t-shirt (from Eddie Bauer), Levis jeans and Merrell Veranda shoes. My office (a computer hardware lab) is super casual and so it works. But can you be more frumpy than me?

    3. A couple years ago I reorganized things hanging in my closet by color. Dresses are on the left, sorted by color. All other tops, from sweaters to camis to blazers are then sorted into neutrals and non-neutrals and then by color within. My neutrals are in front and form the basis of my outfit. Then I can grab a colorful item, if desired, to stand out.

       I’m pretty happy with the system, and it has shown me that I actually greatly prefer neutrals to colorful items, which has guided my shopping.

    4. What works for me: Try on everything you own. Take each item out one at a time, try it on in front of a mirror as if you’re in a store dressing room, and then put it on the bed instead of returning it to the drawer. Create piles for work, off-work, special occasion, and donate.

       Examining everything as if I were going to buy it again helps me filter out clothes are blocking my view and gets me to remember items that I had forgotten or think about them in different ways. If I wouldn’t buy it today, why do I own it? Wait, I actually have a tunic length, chunky turtleneck sweater already, or a blue dress like that outfit I just pinned!

       Organizing my closet by occasion (work, off-work, etc) helped me immensely. I realized I was mostly just wearing the same things because they were easy to find because they had filtered to the top whereas I had lots of cute stuff that had gotten buried behind c*cktail dresses.

11. can anyone offer advice on the fit of lord and Taylor cashmere? I’m thinking of buying one of their crew neck sweaters as a layering piece to wear under a blazer. So, my main questions are, is the fit boxy or more slim, and would it be insanely hot or heavy under a blazer?

    1. They’re very thin, and gorgeous, definitely layerable, but you might be warm if you run hot. I get cold easily, so in <40 degree weather, I'm fine. I wouldn't wear it that way in any warmer weather, though.

       As far as fit, they're nicely fitted, even over a large bust, but the sleeves are a bit short. Overall, I'd recommend them, but keep in mind the sleeves if you have longer arms.

       1. Co-sign on Baconpancakes fit assessment. I’m only 5-8 and I don’t think I have particularly long arms for my frame, but I returned these because of the too-short long sleeves.

12. Like you, I’m a Sephora VIB and didn’t know about the 20% off until someone posted about it here. I just went to my account on the webs!te and, sure enough, there’s a coupon on the “My Account” page. Check yours!

    1. Thank you SO much. The s*te is down now for me, but will log in and check as soon as I can. :)

    2. Replying again due to moderation. That worked. Thanks so much!

13. Actually, I just clicked on the “Beauty Insider” link next to the account link at the top of the page.

    1. Where do you get the code to share with a friend? I can’t find it! I’m VIB not VIB Rouge, so maybe that’s it.

14. I posted a few days ago about needing help resigning – and I did it. Unfortunately, I feel absolutely horrible about it. My boss has been really cold and my coworkers are sad. I went home yesterday and cried about it. Even though I hadn’t been at this job a very long time, it is like a second home to me, I was very comfortable and once very happy here.

    I feel heartbroken over my future projects that I was so excited about and won’t get a chance to do. I hope my team will pick them up but it’s not the same. I work in communications for a nonprofit and it’s breaking my heart to read the stories I’m leaving behind, especially knowing that my awful project manager (reason I’m leaving) will just butcher them (event though I know that’s not guaranteed!).

    I’m not regretting my decision but I had no idea it would be this hard. I had been feeling like a doormat, and I thought this would feel like an F* you to the people who treated me like one, but I just feel sad.

    1. So sorry. Although, I must say that this type of treatment should only reinforce for you that you made the right decision. Onward!

    2. Yay! I love this handbag, but did NOT have web access at work today. FOOEY on the old wireing at work. I just got home so I hope the HIVE did NOT miss me to much. DOUBEL FOOEY!

       As for the OP, don’t feel sad, feel GLAD you are out of that sesspool. Your boss sound’s like a doosh, so that is NOT something you should be missing. Yes, you have alot of pending project’s and other’s will have to pick those up, but look FORWARD to NEW THING’s, and forget about those looser’s.

       You should treat yourself to a facial at Ann Arden or some place where you can get a makeover. Once you have done this, you will feel like a NEW girl. So go for it and see for yourself. That is what I did when I broke up with Alan Scheketovits, and 3 guy’s started to whistel at me as soon as I came out of my makeover. You can be just like me! YAY!!!!!

15. Perhaps you’re like me in that ANY change is difficult. It sounds like you made the right decision for yourself and need to allow yourself time to grieve this chapter in your life being over. Let this feeling be an incentive to keep in contact with your coworkers. You never know, it might be a good time to return one day.

    1. My husband said the same thing, that change is hard for me, even though I don’t really see myself that way since I’m often the initiator of change! But I guess it’s true in many ways. Thank you!

       1. Something can be the absolute right thing, but still be hard and sad. Hang in there! Better days are ahead!

16. You know, the fact that your boss is treating you this way is a good reason for you to have left. If I remember correctly, this is the same boss that knew about the horrible PM and did nothing, right? I think it really reflects on her that her reaction is to freeze you out, rather than to really work with you to get you to stay. Nothing was going to change the way she handled that toxic PM, including the loss of a top performer. That’s not a workplace culture that fosters happiness or professional growth.

    Having said that, of course you’re sad! It’s hard to close the door. Take some time and grieve the loss of the job and the projects that won’t get done. Then square your shoulders and enjoy the sense of freedom that will come. There will be new coworkers, other exciting possibilities, new fun projects. They’re waiting for you. Take some time to say goodbye to the old job and then embrace the big world out there.

    1. Thank you for you’re kind words! I guess I just really wanted her approval so it’s hard to let that go even though I know it’s childish. Also, my friends and family don’t really “get” how intense I am about work so you have no idea how much I appreciate your response!

17. So I am trying to do this.

    I want a satchel with zip top, feet, and shoulder strap option.

    I’ve narrowed it down to Lodis and Brahmin options.

    While I like the look of some by CH they fail on the strap and feet options, sadly.

    Thoughts? The sizing is about fairly commensurate and so are the prices, from 200-350 (that’s a wide range, I know).

    I can order from ebags and zappos and then return, but I’d like feedback.

    I have never spent more than 100 on a bag and I tend to be somewhat rough with them. My Tiganello saffiano satchel is only just barely wide enough to hold my lodis wallet with a small 3×3 makeup bag in there going east-west, so that’s why I’m thinking of upgrading. Gulp gulp.

    Thanks!

    1. I think it’s personal, but I have never understood the appeal of Brahmin purses. They just seem so loud to me, and not in a positive sort of way. So I guess I vote Lodis. Have you looked into Furla? The quality is pretty stellar and something like this seems like it would meet all your criteria (feet, strap, size): http://www.bluefly.com/furla-onyx-embossed-leather-victoria-m-dome-tote/p/327690801/detail.fly

       1. Also this one (and the price!!!): http://www.lastcall.com/Furla-Elena-Saffiano-Satchel-Bag-Black-Onyx/prod27430075/p.prod?ecid=LCALRFeedJ84DHJLQkR4…&ncx=n&uEm=%%AFfiliates%%&ci_src=14110925&ci_sku=sku25930412

          ETA: It also comes in red.

          1. I bought that same, exact Furla bag in pebbled (not saffiano) leather in 2004 on Overstock.com. For $80. I used it for several years and gave it to my mother -it still looks brand new. Now I want it back…

          2. Ah AIMS, I’ve always valued your incredible style sense and general google-fu !!! Now I”m the recipient of it. Thanks so much. I will have to check out furla, as it is similar in appearance to my Tiganello that’s now too small.

             Great job as always.

             Happy weekend to you.

             1. Thanks! You just made my morning. I hope you find a bag you love. Post an update when you make your final choice. Have a great weekend, too.

18. Am I the only person who read this as “Seymour-textured”?

    Anyone…?

    I’ll show myself out.

Comments are closed.