Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I feel like this has been the month of red briefcases, and I have yet another one for you: this saffiano double-handled briefcase currently on sale at Barneys Warehouse. This seems like an extraordinarily low price for a saffiano bag, and I tend to believe it’s because it’s a store brand / made exclusively for Barneys Warehouse. It was $319, but is currently marked to $239. (While you’re there, check out the nice selection of briefcases, and do note — they’re offering an extra 70% off all clearance). Barneys New York Saffiano Double-Handled Briefcase
Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]
FOF
01/21/2016 at 2:12 pmGiven all the personal finance comments we’ve had lately… This is probably the most compelling story I’ve read on a finance site
https://thebillfold.com/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund-648401263659
Carrots
01/21/2016 at 3:19 pmThis is great. I need to send this to my younger sister.
MNF
01/21/2016 at 3:30 pmThank you for posting. I want to force every new college grad to read this – how can we do that?
lucy stone
01/21/2016 at 3:46 pmI LOVE this and am going to share it with the collegiate members of my sorority chapter.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:05 pmSo, I loved the article and shared it with friends, but … it’s not fail-safe. It sounds like it is, but it’s not. Sometimes the abuse happens after marriage, sometimes you have a child to care for even if you’ve been financially responsible, sometimes life still happens, even if you have an F-off fund.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 8:48 pmWow I hated this a lot. Talk about victim blaming. Oh poor sweetie getting abused because she couldn’t resist the lure of Nordstrom. Are you kidding me? Do you know anything about domestic violence? It hurts even when you’re independently wealthy.
Patronizing bullshit.
Alanna of Trebond
01/21/2016 at 10:16 pmI agree. This was awful. It’s her fault that she’s being sexually harassed and abused because she wasn’t frugal?
And I agree with the overall message of being frugal.
Ems
01/21/2016 at 11:35 pmIt’s not victim blaming when the point is about having choices, and how the choice to leave said job is limited by not having the funds to not need said job.
I do agree that the beginning was rather extreme, but perhaps artistic license to make a point.
AnonLondon
01/22/2016 at 7:05 amI thought the whole point was that it was auto-biographical? As in: “I couldn’t leave job or man because I was limited/dependent. Do whatever you can to not be?”
Sydney Bristow
01/21/2016 at 2:12 pmI love this. Maybe not in red, but the style itself is gorgeous.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 2:59 pmI’m eyeing the cognac one but I’m not convinced my laptop would fit into it. Will have to take measurements.
Ellen
01/21/2016 at 3:44 pmYay Kat! I am SO glad that you finaly have decided to push a LEATHER breifcase this time. As long as we are spending serius money, we REALY should have REAL LEATHER!!!!!
I have already billed 20 hours today and tecnically have made my weekley quota, so that if I wanted to take tomorow off, I could and NOT loose time. They say there is goeing to be a BLIZZARD tomorrow so I do NOT want to be caught outside tomorrow. I am therefore goeing to Whole Foods after work and getting some supplie’s to wade out the storm. Myrna agreed to stay over b/c her apartement is draftey when the wind blows, so we are goeing to watch movie’s on NETFLIX or pay per view. I think I will let Myrna choose which movie’s to rent b/c she is bringeing over a BIG bag of Skinny Pop Popcorn. YAY!!!
Aurora
01/21/2016 at 2:32 pmAny tips on using Instagram effectively? I finally set one up for my blog but other than posting the photos from the blog onto my Instagram feed, I’m not sure how to use it since I haven’t used it much before.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 2:42 pmThis was discussed a couple weeks ago, but I like following bloggers who post a mix of photos from their blog but also photos from their life (but still high-quality posed shots of things that are appealing like food/fashion/travel, not blurry snapshots of their baby cousins no one cares about. It is sad, but Instagram is very much a micro-blogging platform now, and the people who have big followings put content there that is just as polished and professional as the content that goes on their blogs. Pics taken with a real camera, not an iPhone, are the norm for most of the big bloggers. I understand snapchat is much more candid and casual.
I’d recommend looking at the Insta feeds of some successful bloggers you enjoy and seeing what they do. And post regularly (you’ll get followers pretty much every time you post, if you tag your post with popular hashtags), but not more than once or twice a day so you don’t clog people’s feeds. When announcing a blog post, don’t spam your followers with multiple photos from the post, just post one and include the link to the post.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 2:51 pmUgh I’m in moderation, I think for the word b l o g g e r s. Short version: post content that is as polished as what you post on your blog (take your photos with a real camera, ideally a DSLR), use popular hashtags so people can find your posts (I don’t use hashtags on my personal social media and find it super annoying when people hashtag stupid words, but if you’re a fashion blogger you have to use hashtags like “ootd” so people can find you), don’t post more than once a day or so, because you don’t want to crowd people’s feeds, but post as close to every day as you can, because you’ll get new followers pretty much every time you post. I have read articles that say to like and comment on random posts to get followers but I’ve never had much luck with that. I’ve focused on putting content out there that I myself would want to follow, and engaging with the people that do follow me, and my following has been growing slowly but steadily.
Aurora
01/21/2016 at 3:07 pmThese are great tips, thanks. Yeah, I read a bunch of advice about building your brand blah blah but since a lot of it seemed hokey I appreciate hearing from folks who actually use instagram over folks with zero followers who just want to tell other people what to do haha.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 2:57 pmHashtags. Make sure that either in your caption or first comment you’re including hashtags for words or phrases relevant to your content. For example, when I’m looking for new running or fitness content, I always search by the hashtag #run or #running.
Just Curious
01/21/2016 at 2:41 pmI’m curious what you all think of this situation. Husband worked for an agency that investigated and fined companies. Husband no longer works in that job. It has been three years since he worked there. I applied to a c-suite job for a company that sounded like a great fit. I didn’t even get an interview. A contact there told me privately that it is because my husband had investigated them previously and they felt it was a conflict to hire me even though he no longer works for the investigating agency and their case has been closed for over five years. We have a rather unique last name and it is a small town so I think they made the connection. I’m letting it go but I’m curious whether this is a legit conflict or whether it would some how be retaliation. My husband didn’t even remember that he had investigated them when I applied. When I mentioned what my contact told me he looked up some names of the higher ups and remembered later that he had dealt with and sanctioned them. I’m so annoyed to be thrown out of the running for this. I wonder if they are still in non compliance and assumed I wouldn’t tolerate that.
the gold digger
01/21/2016 at 2:45 pmI don’t know anything about the legalities, but I sympathize. My husband was running for Congress in 2014 when I was looking for a new job. I looked under my maiden name (which I have since changed back to legally – I didn’t realize how much I would miss my name when I married and changed to his) specifically so people would not make the connection.
(One of the directors at my new job told me that he thought I was a hard-core Party A but wanted to hire me anyway and then was very happy to realize, a year later, that I am very Not Party A.)
Moonstone
01/21/2016 at 3:20 pmI guess all I can say is I would not be in the least surprised that they don’t want to hire the spouse of someone who investigated the company. From your husband’s point of view, I’m sure he saw it as “all in a day’s work” but probably the company saw the sanctions as a pretty big deal. I don’t think that’s the same thing as retaliation.
It’s good you are letting it go because you’ll never really know whether you would have gotten any further in the hiring process under other circumstances. I have a whole folder of “great fit” jobs where I didn’t even get an interview.
Hollis
01/21/2016 at 4:42 pmMy sympathies. I was told that I was a finalist for a great in-house position and I was thrilled. Then, they went silent on me. My recruiter found out that another department at my big law firm had represented some investors in a suit against that company years ago, so the company considered that a conflict, even though I am not a litigator and didn’t even know anything about the suit. I showed them rules about how this is not a conflict under the professional rules, but to the company executives, it was more of an issue that my firm name left a bad taste in their mouths, so I bet that’s kind of the same thing that’s going on in your situation as well.
Shopping challenged
01/21/2016 at 2:48 pmI’m curious what y’all think of Betabrand’s offerings. This is their latest, but they’ve had lots of other pieces that I’ve thought might be office appropriate, but because their clothes usually have something really unique (like reflector stripes hidden in the pleats of a jacket), I’m never really sure. Have you ever tried their stuff?
https://www.betabrand.com/womens-gray-three-piece-travel-dress-suit.html?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=TopCustomers&utm_campaign=TravelDressSuit&no_popup=1&nan_pid=1846431462
Lobbyist
01/21/2016 at 5:31 pmI bought their fancy yoga pants. They are cut like normal pants and slightly thicker, but I could in no way wear them like regular pants. I kept them because I am lazy about returns, but if I had seen them in person I never would have spent that kind of money on them. I think they are made in San Francisco CA, which is great, and may explain why it costs so much more.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 6:39 pmThey have a store in SF if you ever in town. I thought the work-wannabee stuff looked nice & would possibly pass muster in my very casual office.
Paging Cleveland visitor
01/21/2016 at 2:48 pmGot backed up a bit and lost the thread on this–I’m a mid-sized firm lawyer working in downtown Cleveland and would love to give any more needed travel advice to the person who posted in the last couple days about planning a visit (I think coming up soon?). If schedules align, maybe we can meet up while you’re here, if you have time to kill in a close area of downtown.
Please email [email protected] and maybe we can connect for a coffee and a ‘r e t t e smile on a grey winter day!
I’d be willing to entertain using the same email address ([email protected])–public inbox–to help coordinate a Cleveland ‘r e t t e meetup….? Drop a line and we can exchange “real” addresses through there!
–DB Cooper
(OK, this all sounds a little creepy–unintended–I’m a mid-career woman, mom of preschoolers, regular lurker and very infrequent participant in the forums here. Just want to be welcoming and meet someone interesting and new.)
Emmer
01/21/2016 at 2:55 pmThis is such a Clevelander post, in all of the best ways!
DB Cooper
01/21/2016 at 2:57 pmI’ll just say I reread what I wrote in haste and…thanks! I think I know what you mean. :)
Meg Murry
01/21/2016 at 4:23 pmThanks DB, I’m in the Cleveland area too. Sending you a message now!
Jules
01/21/2016 at 4:43 pmI’m in the Southern part of Ohio but get to Cleveland periodically, would love to be on the list. Will e-mail you!
Cherry
01/21/2016 at 5:01 pmI’m also a Cleveland native that have moved to the southern part of the state. Currently planning a Cleveland wedding, so will reach out, since I’m in that area pretty often!
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 6:45 pmNot the original poster, but I’ll be in town for my husband’s college reunion in May- would love to do a meetup then!
I’ll email you. :)
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 2:57 pmWhat do small business in Europe do when one of their employees has a child and has guaranteed paid leave? I’m genuinely curious about how this does not affect the business and, frankly, businesses’ choices of whether to hire women.
the gold digger
01/21/2016 at 3:05 pmI don’t know about Europe, but I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Chile at a non-profit with five employees plus me. Two of the women (all women at the organization) were out for three months each at the same time for full-pay maternity leave.
We had no money to hire temps because all the money was paying their salaries. Their work did not go away. It was really hard on those of us in the office.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:07 pmWhat is the point of your question ? Are you a troll?
The rest of the world just does not make a big deal of it, and it’s just the business landscape. I work in a country with paid leave, and (spoiler alert), No. One. Cares. This is not something that is thought about, and I’m involved in hiring.
I work in a department with all women. And they all have multiple children. And, they’re all professional, whose careers continue to grow. Were they slowed by a year or two off? Maybe, but not notably so.
Also, it is possible to split parental leave between parents in my country, in whatever ratio you want. You get 12 months, between both parents. I think we should push for more equality of leave, but the option for men to take leave is present.
Brit
01/21/2016 at 3:13 pmDown girl. Seriously.
She is obviously asking how the small business handles it logistically. Like, if the only person who performs a specific function leaves for a one year maternity leave how do you replace them on a contract basis or otherwise cover the work? It is a great question and I’m curious to read any informed responses. My male colleague is thinking about a transfer to the EU and was wondering himself what would happen when he takes paternity leave in the other country (he and his wife are planning to have a baby).
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:14 pmThanks, Brit. That’s exactly what I’m asking.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:16 pmLogistically, someone is hired on temporary basis usually. And in my country, the company doesn’t continue paying the person on leave, the government does, so the company has the money the would otherwise have used to pay the person on leave, to pay the new person who is there for the duration of the leave.
If the leave is shorter than 4 months, usually they don’t bother hiring someone.
It’s not that complicated.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:32 pmWhy are you so unwilling to discuss any unintended consequences? Workers are not so fungible that one can be easily subbed in for another who knows the business and has the requisite experience and years of on-the-job training.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:46 pmEh, everyone is replaceable. You resort some duties to those who have done them before, etc. And it’s only for 1 year. I’m not trying to avoid the “unintended consequences”, I just think this is a stupid “issue” that Americans bring up as a “reason” why they don’t do longer leaves.
“But think of the business! How will they ever cope?”.
No, think of what kind of society you want to live in, where there’s an awareness of the fact that babies happen, and that jobs can support a basic realization that going back to work 6 weeks after having a baby is painful and stupid for everyone involved.
So yeah, if most other developed nations have figured this out, I’m sure the US could too, if they didn’t have this weird idea that a bunch of Americans see themselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires, who would be totally stymied by parental leave.
Businesses think of themselves first, so should you.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:55 pmI’m not unwilling? This is how it works. You hire a replacement, like you would if someone quit. You overlap them a little for on-boarding and you train them. Sure, you’re losing some institutional knowledge temporarily but it doesn’t have to be a massive crisis or anything. And then you have another worker you can either let go after a year or decide to keep as well if your business has grown.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:13 pmNo, I’m not a troll. I’m talking about a business that has three employees and one of them leaves for a year. They literally Must. Care. that 1/3 of their work force is gone. Do they hire a temp? Does the government help them out in any way? Do the others just work way longer hours for that year to cover? It sounds like you’re in a much bigger company, where you’re talking about the women’s careers rather than the company’s business. I’m asking about how it affects the company.
Also, I actually read something recently (I wish I could find the source) that said that the percentage of working women is lower in countries with guaranteed leave.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:17 pmThey hire someone on a one year contract to do the job.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:24 pmHow does that work? I was fairly senior when I had my first child. We could not have found anyone to take on that work even for the limited time I was on leave (US — 3 months), so I had to do all of the work even though I had just had a baby. Luckily, it was quiet for 5 weeks, but the rest was awful.
I can see it working if you are in a field where you can get a temp (admin, teachers, nurses) or there is a lot of turnover (retail, restaurants, helpdesks). But many fields don’t work like that (or if I took a year of leave and relied on a “temp,” I’m not sure that those clients wouldn’t be the temp’s cilents by the time I came back (so short-term help and a significant long-term cost). I think that places like Big4 may make this work but not many other fields. And how does it work if you get paid on commission (real estate, other sales)? What do you get during your leave?
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:30 pmWhen one year maternity leave is standard, one year contracts are more common and people are used to it. It’s not like hiring a temp- of course you can find someone to replace you- they would if you died or quit.
Every field makes this work when they have to.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:37 pmIn my field, people would just go to another firm that was appropriately staffed and not want to deal with a replacement. So if I get hit by a bus, the clients are out the door by the time a new hire comes in. It’s brutal. So maybe a firm could technically hire someone, but it is more likely that it would lose the business. A firm would do better to have people not working at 125% capacity — that way, a junior person maybe could step up for a senior person on leave, but now they just can’t. And no way a senior person is working the all-nighters of a junior person.
I could do Europe in Europe, but I don’t think that we work that way here.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:56 pmIf we had universal 1 year maternity leave we would adjust. Same as metric. It’s really not that hard.
Runner 5
01/21/2016 at 4:36 pmCountries with parental leave also tend to be the countries with actual paid holiday time, so even very small companies are used to dealing without a specific person for a couple of weeks. We have a very different political economy.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:14 pmI’d be curious to hear real answers to this question. I can see how the incentives could be aligned in a way that discourages hiring women. For the record, I fully support paid leave policies and all that.
Francophile
01/21/2016 at 5:18 pmOK, here’s a real example from a real person who worked for a very small company (2 owners, 2 employees until recently) in France for 6 years, during which my only direct co-worker took 2 mat leaves, and so did I. It’s hard to generalize to all of Europe because the rules do vary.
– For reference, the standard French mat leave is 16 weeks for the first 2 children and 24 weeks for twins or 3rd and subsequent children. This generally starts about 6 weeks before your due date and can be extended for to up to 2.5 years with mostly unpaid parental leave. Fathers get 14 days of leave and are eligible for parental leave (but very rarely take it). So the situation is definitely different from Scandinavia.
– in France the government pays mat leave benefits, not the employer. However, some companies (like my employer) top up maternity pay to 100% of your salary and pay everything out to you directly and then collect reimbursement from the government. I know that in our case it led to some temporary cashflow issues but it really helps with employee loyalty.
– for the first round of mat leaves in 2011/2012 (one for me, one for co-worker, did not overlap, we both took 6 months) we just buckled down and pulled longer hours and worked a ton. It sucked, particularly since both of the owners had family emergencies during my co-worker’s leave and I was pregnant and sick, but we managed and actually did very good business. It helps that our industry is one where you can outsource as needed.
– for the second round of leaves in 2013/2014, we had just hired a student on an “apprenticeship” contract when my co-worker announced she was pregnant, so he wound up turning into her maternity cover – since he was part-time for most of her leave it was tight at times but manageable. She came back part-time and he was hired full-time, since we were previously understaffed. Another guy was hired on a temp contract to cover my leave (8 months total) – he did not wind up staying. Following the end of my leave I was transferred to the US to open a new office and was replaced with a new hire. So obviously 2 leaves in 2 years did not tank my career (although to be honest I really wanted a 3 year leave, not a promotion).
TLDR – a lot of companies will hire someone as a temp, which is often a valuable foot in the door. In my company’s case, it actually led to the resolution of a longstanding understaffing situation. It can be difficult to manage but mostly companies take it in stride. I know that activists in France argue that women are seriously hurt by the expectation that they will take leave and there are actually calls to end or drastically shorten parental leave, but that was not my experience. Women who are seriously committed to their careers do tend to take relatively short leaves (and a few years ago the then Justice Minister Rachida Dati stirred up controversy when she took just 5 days); parental leave is certainly frowned on for professional women. Being an SAHM is also generally frowned on.
I care.
01/21/2016 at 3:18 pmI’ve actually seen a lot of posts in my sector (environmental, so Europe is very much leading) for 1-year “maternity cover”.
I assume the person either is a professional contractor, effectively going from company to company for 1 year at a time, or gets assimilated into the company over time (as I did when I was hired as a temp during a maternity leave here in the US and the regular came back at 10 or 12 weeks and the company kept me one full-time).
It’s not that unusual.
Also, I think many places in Europe may be strongly encouraged (not exactly sure, or sure how) to hire women. Think quotas even. There may be protections in favor of women, protecting them as a class in order to prevent discrimination.
And finally, there are a great deal of studies and thought leadership showing that the best companies are diverse at all levels in many ways. That on its own would likely encourage companies of any size to consider diversity, including sex and gender, in their hiring.
Lyssa
01/21/2016 at 3:24 pmI’m not up to hunt down sources right now, but there are a lot of numbers out there that indicate that women have a harder time getting promoted into high level jobs in places where these long leaves are the norm. More women work, but there are fewer in high level jobs than there are here. It’s certainly something to think about.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:29 pmReally? I’m not saying you are wrong, because I don’t know anything about it, but I’ve always thought of Europe as a place with a lot of women in high level jobs. Maybe my perception is just based on a few who are in very prominent roles (German Chancellor, etc).
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:31 pm(I read this again and realize by calling Europe “a place” I might sound like I am lumping all the countries in Europe together – that was not my intent and I realize there are cultural differences between different places within Europe. I just meant I thought many European countries had a lot of women at high levels, moreso than the US at least, even if not in equal share to men).
Lyssa
01/21/2016 at 4:25 pmI’ve seen a number of articles on it, but would definitely urge you to research it if you’re interested. It certainly makes sense; if you’re able to take a year off work and just be replaced by a temp without anyone really caring, it’s pretty hard to argue that you’re that important to that job. I’m certain that it varies by country and culture, too, though.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:31 pmI agree with this in my experience – because long leaves are available, it’s almost looked down upon to come back to work full time even after a year. Not sure how they can change that. Also a lot of problems with parental leave for dads been legally permitted but the reality is, men who want to take it are told informally it will be a career detriment.
Canada actually has a good balance because the leave is only one year and govt paid but most women go back to work full time after a year because there is no entitlement to part time.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:38 pm“only” one year
I don’t know whether to do the evil chuckle or just cry.
cbackson
01/21/2016 at 10:14 pmKay Hymowitz drives me a bit batty, but this was the only article I could quickly find on that study (which I also read).
http://ideas.time.com/2013/09/30/longer-maternity-leave-not-so-great-for-women-after-all/
Anonymous
01/22/2016 at 5:06 amHonestly it depends on the person and the company. I took 16 weeks mat leave (country standard) came back an decided to take the rest of the year off. It helped that my assignment was winding down, and I’d have moved to a new role anyway. No career impact whatever.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:28 pmSmall businesses will normally hire someone to perform the job while the person is on leave. One year maternity leave contracts are incredibly common. And a great way for employers to test out new employees. Whether or not a position will be fully replaced depends on the length of leave. Often a 4 month leave, people will just cover off for colleagues. Anything over 6 months often gets a position posted.
Gets trickier to balance when parents come back part time – a number of countries have an entitlement to work at little as 10 hours a week while children under 5. My neighbour is a doctor in a public hospital who works one day a week.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:05 pmIn law, there is a total oversupply of people, but not with the right skils / seniority (who’d only want a 1-year position). If you need an ERISA person who just does securities law who is higher than a 4th year, you’d need to move a person to your city probably and hire them permanently, otherwise that person can’t go from gig to gig.
My child’s school had a substitute teacher cover algebra (who was licensed to be a sub but didn’t have the background) and math and it was like those kids lost a year in school. And that’s in a field that is used to subs (and long-term subs and the equivalent of maternity cover). I think that this is good in theory only.
Runner 5
01/21/2016 at 4:38 pmI lost two years of biology in high school because of staffing mess ups unrelated to maternity leave. It happens.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 5:21 pmI’m certainly not saying this would work on a macro level, but personally I love the idea of being a one-year specialist in a niche practice area who can bounce around the country. One of the things I dislike the most about law is feeling tied to a specific region of the country (currently because of bar licensing, but once I’m more established and could waive in, I’d be giving up my network for business development). I get bored of a city after about 2 years and don’t have much desire for partner track, so I’d love to be a roving expert. It wouldn’t appeal to everybody, and of course there may be other ways to achieve this now–but just saying if that became part of the job market it wouldn’t be impossible to recruit.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:30 pmMy friends in Canada say that they hire on someone on a 1 year contract, and that those contracts are considered desirable because it gives people a foot in the door at the company and/or chance to build new skills or networks. Sort of like a paid internship.
The small businesses can afford to do it because the maternity leave is paid for by the government from a fund fed by payroll taxes, so the business itself isn’t paying for two people – just re-appropriating the pay (and potentially saving money because the contract position may pay less).
Anon
01/21/2016 at 3:43 pm+1 It’s not always ideal but you hire someone for a year to get by.
CKB
01/21/2016 at 5:54 pm+1. Often someone who is more junior is hired so a permanent employee can get some experience at the more senior level. This is a win for everyone because the permanent employee gets valuable experience and the temp employee also gets experience and a foot in the door.
I’m a senior level accountant and when I was looking for work after being laid off late 2014 there were tons of contract positions out there for my level. Special projects, maternity leaves, and some companies prefer to hire you for a 6 month to 1 year contract before hiring you as a permanent employee. I wasn’t interested because I needed a job with benefits ( and contractors are considered self employed in this situation here).
Care
01/21/2016 at 6:15 pmIs a “permanent employee” someone with an actual term contract that can’t just be fired for any reason or no reason (just not a blatantly discriminatory reason)?
lawsuited
01/21/2016 at 3:35 pmI don’t know about Europe, but I live in Canada where there a year of paid (at 55% of one’s regular pay up to a weekly max. of $500) maternity/parental is available. A lot of companies advertise a 1 year contract specifying that they are covering a maternity leave. It’s not ideal, but it works pretty well to give the contract employee experience, and often a permanent job if the employee on leave decides not to come back or the business has a opening in another area.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:06 pmThat explains it — the higher-income workers (the hard to replace with a temp jobs) are probably not enticed by the $500/week max. I’d have to go back to work on that sort of maternity leave.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:16 pmIn order to attract top employees many larger companies offer to ‘top up’ to the full salary. Federal government offers full top for the whole year. Most large law firms offer 6 months top up.
Runner 5
01/21/2016 at 4:40 pm+1, same in the UK. My finance firm tops up the govt amount by different amounts depending on pay grade.
lawsuited
01/21/2016 at 4:18 pmI would have to return to work as well, but I still see 1 year maternity contracts advertised for positions like mine so some people are electing to take the 1 year leave even at the lower pay (I have not heard of any firms who top up, but I believe government agencies do this). Anecdotally, I know 2 lawyers in my circle who took/are currently taking a 1 year leave.
Anonymous
01/22/2016 at 2:42 amIn the US- I work in the regulatory world- was going to take 6 months off unpaid (can take up to a year) but ultimately decided not to. If you have 2 people in a relationship who have had big-law type salaries for a while, you can probably plan to afford it (like we did).
Also, I’m in California, where we have a similar state fund that is funded by payments from our paychecks that pays for disability leave pre & post preg & then bonding at 55%-ish of our salary (somewhat also not taxed by the state & feds) up to $1200-ish/wk for about 4+ weeks pre-baby & 12-14 wks post baby.
Dads get access to the 6 weeks of bonding, but not the disability time (for obvious reasons).
In my group, we just absorb the work- we can get a rotational person, but it’s usually too much of a hassle. Honestly, as a supervisor- I’d rather KNOW someone is going to take a year straight off & be able to plan, than random FMLA days off (which we’ve also had issues with).
potato
01/21/2016 at 4:14 pmIs this maternal leave or parental? Can you expand on how this works? (Are both parents entitled to one year of leave?) Honestly, my knee jerk reaction was that we could afford for my husband to be at 1/2 pay for a year but we couldn’t afford for me to be (since my job pays about 2/3 of all incoming $).
lawsuited
01/21/2016 at 4:22 pmThere are 15 weeks of maternity leave (can only be taken by a mother giving birth) available, plus 35 weeks of parental leave which can be taken by either parent in any combination that suits them.
I am in a similar situation to you (DH earns approx. 1/3 household income with me earning the other 2/3), and our plan is for me to take the 15 weeks of maternity leave and for him to take all 35 weeks of parental leave.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:25 pmEmployment Insurance is the program that pays out the leave. Employers and employees both contribute to the fund – it’s the same fund used for job losses or medical leave unemployment.
If you’re self- employed (sole practioner) you can opt to pay into the system and then draw on it when you take leave. This is not mandatory.
Birth mothers can take the first 4 months. Either birth mother, other birth parent or either adoptive parent can take the next 8 months. Most often the birth mother will take the whole year, although the other parent also sometimes takes the next 8 months.
When large companies/law firms offer top up to full salary, it is offered to both men and women. If you receive top up it is common that the company will require you to repay it if you don’t stay at least a year after coming back from leave.
In private legal practice, it is common for women at big firms to only take 6 months, although some now take a full year. It’s seen as poor behaviour to not transfer back a lawyer’s clients when she returns. Not saying it doesn’t happen but it’s not common.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:35 pmI always assumed that the govt paid for or at least partially subsidized the leave (due to higher taxes, etc.) Is that not the case?
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:40 pmThat is correct.
Anonymous
01/22/2016 at 2:44 amIn California (we have a similar situation), it’s like unemployment benefits- it’s an insurance fund, funded by a little bit of each of your paychecks.
From the conversation above, it seems like it is that way in other countries as well.
Canadian
01/21/2016 at 3:49 pmYou all have special snowflake syndrome. Very few people are actually so skilled and excellent that they can’t be replaced or covered for. Sometimes for short leave someone’s work will get divvied up or for longer leaves a temp is hired. Science has repeatedly shown that preference for years of experience doesn’t result in materially superior performance, people just choose not to believe it
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:17 pmI don’t think that that is it. So many of us are paid based on what we produce that we jealously guard our clients / leads / contacts. Think of how law firm credits get assigned — it’s byzantine and crazy, but I wouldn’t expect this to work (I’d expect to hire a junior person and lean on loyal senior person to cover me, but someone my total equal would be more likely a threat than an ally). It’s awful, but I can’t pretend that things are other than what they are.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 4:18 pmthis so much. If every other developed country can make it work, I’m sure employers would figure it out in the US as well.
Poli Sci Major
01/21/2016 at 4:41 pmIt’s the same American exceptionalism that means you end up with no way of stopping gun violence or giving health care to your population.
Gail the Goldfish
01/21/2016 at 5:07 pmOr for that matter, using the metric system (it’s so much easier, it drives me insane we never switched)
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 5:31 pmUm, we weigh things differently? There are obviously other benefits, like lower taxes, more liberties, etc., to our system. And we have a Constitution with a second amendment that you don’t. I mean, sure, people weigh things differently. A lot of people would pay higher taxes to do different things, etc. But YOU sort of think that YOU are exceptional when you assume that everyone WANTS to be like you no matter what.
Ebro fin
01/21/2016 at 5:45 pm+1.
And I’ve managed to my life so far without using the metric systems, so there’s that.
Poli Sci Major
01/21/2016 at 5:45 pmIt’s the undying allegiance to the outdated bits of your constitution that confuses Europeans. Ireland just changed theirs by referendum to allow equal marriage!
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 5:54 pm1. The Irish Constitution is much younger than the US Constitution. Maybe they learned something from our drafting errors.
2. The remaining European monarchies are rather outdated bits of governing, right? We all have vestigial pieces that don’t make sense in the modern error, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to get rid of artifacts that don’t make sense anymore.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 6:03 pmNo. Her point was not that Europe is perfect. It was that if every other civilized country can figure this out American could too, if it wanted to.
Wildkitten
01/21/2016 at 8:49 pmWhereas America doesn’t have marriage equality.. what?! That argument about Ireland doesn’t make any sense.
Care
01/21/2016 at 5:54 pmI don’t feel like this is special snowflake syndrome. I think this is, for the most part, a decently intelligent discussion of how to approach something that is completely foreign to our culture. No one here is saying that they are so important that their companies would collapse without them, but wondering how it actually works in practice (such where you find the replacements and how you prove your usefulness after not being around for a year to develop relationships). I’m sure if the US did it, employers would figure it out, but this discussion is basically people asking how the figuring out process actually works.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 6:43 pm“Special snowflake” might be harsh, but the gist of all the “how could this possibly work?” comments is that employers can’t survive employees taking long leaves. But they can, pretty easily, by replacing them for the leave period. And the tone of most of these questions is not completely neutral – there’s a clear implication that an employee taking parental leave is some sort of huge burden on an employer/ is unrealistic when people are serious about business/success. It’s a bit disingenuous to say it’s just a genuine question, asked out of curiosity, when it’s simultaneously the argument people constantly make against family leave. In a system with an extant social security net that covers the cost of these leaves, the only reason that parental leave would be devastating to an employer is if the particular employee can’t be replaced with someone of equivalent skill and competence. And that’s actually just very rare. Yes there’s a minor on-boarding period, which can be managed pretty well by advance planning and some overlap, but that’s an extremely small price to pay for a work and living environment where people don’t constantly feel the need to choose between a reasonable family life and a thriving career. And as for coming back, when long-term parental leaves are common, and there’s a culture of returning clients/ work to the person when they return, it’s not that hard to come back and you don’t really need to prove your usefulness when you do – other than by doing good work, the only way you ever prove your usefulness.
briefcase hunt
01/21/2016 at 2:59 pmI saw the most amazing briefcase the other day, but didn’t want to jet across the courtroom to ask her where she got it. From what I could tell, it was structured black leather with gold hardware (and feet!), accordion sides, and a foldover top with cutouts around the handles. By that I mean, the top folded over and locked beneath the base of the handles, which are connected to the exterior of the bag and shaped exactly like Celine Phantom handles, but there were cutouts in the top surrounding the handles…I don’t know if that makes sense. It looked more like an amazing handbag with briefcase details (foldover top, accordion sides)…does this sound familiar to anyone?
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:19 pmSounds like a birkin…
KinCA
01/21/2016 at 7:52 pmIs it the Ferragamo Amy bag (probably the large size, if she’s using it as a briefcase)? I have been in bag lust with that purse for a serious 4-6 months now. It’s so pretty! I can’t quite convince myself to pull the trigger on it because it’s so pricey, though.
Eliza
01/21/2016 at 11:27 pmCould it be a Mulberry bag?
briefcase hunt
01/22/2016 at 12:51 pmYES!!! Thank you! It looks like a Mulberry Bayswater but with briefcase-y accordion sides, like the Saint Laurent Sac de Jour…Unfortunately, wayyy too out of my budget. Maybe one day…
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:07 pmHi all. First ultrasound of pregnancy this morning – unfortunately, no heartbeat. Decided on a D&C rather than pills, to just get it over with – but would appreciate any thoughts on it/ any advice from those of you who have had a D&C. TIA!
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:13 pmI’m sorry for your loss:(
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:19 pmI’m so sorry to hear.
Idea
01/21/2016 at 3:25 pmOh, so sorry.
That happened to us at the 11-week sonogram – the embryo had stopped developing at 7 weeks but my uterus was hanging onto it. The medical term is a “missed abortion”. What a horrible term. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
I scheduled the D&C for like a Monday or Tuesday or something but was able to go into the hospital on a Saturday – they called the night before and said there was an opening in the schedule. My doctor was sweet and literally held my hand as the anesthesia took effect.
It’s like a really bad period. I think I went back to work on Monday, but I wish I hadn’t. I was OK, but still cramping and just kind of down about it. Another day to be down & cramping by myself and get my energy back would’ve been good.
The best advice I got was “be kind to yourself”. I have other advice, but right now I think that’s all you need.
tesyaa
01/21/2016 at 3:27 pmSo sorry to hear that. I did not find the D&C’s physically traumatic at all, and as you say, it gets the process over with quickly.
That being said, take it easy physically and take as much time as you need to rest before getting back to a normal routine.
tesyaa
01/21/2016 at 3:27 pmI had both of mine in regular doctors’ offices, FWIW, no hospitalizations.
the gold digger
01/21/2016 at 3:27 pmIt does not take very long (only a few minutes) but is slightly uncomfortable. If you can bring someone with you to hold your hand while it is happening, it would be nice. My husband could not come with me – well, for drama reasons involving his parents that I will not get into here, so I was alone, which made it a lot harder.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
01/21/2016 at 3:42 pmI had mine as outpatient in a hospital. I was put under and I don’t think anyone went with me (or would have been allowed to go). Big waiting room and not the most private environment. At least the morning sickness was over (which persisted after the heartbeats were gone).
I am very sorry for your loss.
Diana Barry
01/21/2016 at 3:31 pmSo sorry for your loss.
Anon in NYC
01/21/2016 at 4:02 pmI’m so sorry.
lucy stone
01/21/2016 at 4:11 pmI am so sorry, this is crappy. I had a D&C as an outpatient last April. Physically, the procedure was not bad at all. I was put under anesthesia. Before I was asleep, I remember them strapping my arms down on the table, which I wasn’t expecting and was a little weird. The staff was incredibly kind. I was crying when they wheeled me back and the nurse and anesthetist kept wiping my tears for me and held my hand until I was asleep.
The physical recovery was not bad at all. I have bad periods so the bleeding was much less severe than a period. Be aware you’ll have to wear pads, but don’t worry, they’ve come a long way since we were in junior high.
I took a week off work based on advice from this site and am glad I did. I physically could have returned to work but needed the time to be a zombie.
Edna Mazur
01/21/2016 at 4:42 pmSo sorry.
Runner 5
01/21/2016 at 4:43 pmTake care of yourself. This is the time for that crazy expensive tea or the take out order you’ve been putting off.
Wildkitten
01/21/2016 at 5:08 pmAND WINE
ezt
01/21/2016 at 6:03 pmBooze of all kinds is definitely part of my recovery plan. (I never put off takeout orders:))
Anonymous
01/22/2016 at 2:51 amAnd Sushi- when I was TTC, every time I’d get my period, I’d treat myself to lots of booze & sushi.
Calico
01/21/2016 at 5:14 pmSo sorry. Keep taking your prenatals for a couple weeks after. I was surprised how physically drained I felt. (I expected the emotional fallout, but I didn’t realize I’d be dizzy and short of breath climbing stairs.)
LawDawg
01/21/2016 at 5:22 pmSorry for your loss. Same thing happened to me many years ago. Worst part was the time between finding out and getting the procedure done. But that was all emotional, not physical. The procedure itself was painless and I conceived again two months later. My daughter turned 14 last month. Wishing the best for you too.
ezt
01/21/2016 at 6:00 pmOP here, forgot my handle – thanks all for your comments. There’s no way I can take a week off work but I’ll try to work from home the day following. Work is a good distraction for me anyway. I’m disappointed but not devastated – I have a toddler and was getting a bit overwhelmed at the prospect, so there’s a teensy bit of relief mixed in too (and guilt about the relief!) – but I do truly appreciate all the kind thoughts.
anon
01/21/2016 at 9:26 pmReally sorry to hear it. D&C was under anasthesia (nicest nurses EVER) and pretty crampy for a few days after with bleeding for much longer than I expected (several weeks — I think actually longer than after childbirth, for me, although not heavy for very long). I was surprised by the major emotions brought on by the sudden drop in hormones (I also had a “missed abortion”), so that might be something to watch out for in addition to whatever sadness you would already feel. My OB recommended getting some really good beer, and that was definitely helpful.
Anon
01/21/2016 at 3:28 pmI’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been through it a couple of times and had the D&C both times. My specific advice is to ask for a Valium to take before you arrive for the procedure. It was uncomfortable for me and I was sad so having a little happy drug helped me relax. Take a couple of days off work if you can. Hugs.
new bag help!
01/21/2016 at 3:53 pmHelp me find a new bag! I’m willing to spend up to $500. I don’t like conspicuous branding or too much hardware. I don’t want a bag that everyone else has. Beyond that, I’m open.
I work in a creative industry and can wear jeans every day, but women typically dress up their jeans with blazers and boots or pumps. I wear mostly neutrals and prefer a sleek style to anything frilly.
Any brand or style recs?
lsw
01/21/2016 at 4:20 pmIf there are small, indy boutiques near you, that can be a good place to start. I can’t remember the brand of my favorite bag I ever had, but I picked it up at a boutique in my (small, mid-Atlantic) city that carried small, independent designers. Currently I have a Shana Luther bag, which I like because it’s sturdy and good quality but also unique, and she is a friend of a friend so I like being able to support an actual person.
new bag help?
01/21/2016 at 6:21 pmThose Shana Luther bags are STUNNING. That’s exactly the kind of bag I was looking for. Thank you!!
lsw
01/22/2016 at 9:17 amIf you get one, let me know!! I loooove mine.
potato
01/21/2016 at 4:21 pmHow about Brooks Brothers? Their bags are very structured and sleek and don’t have large branding. (As you’re in a creative industry I’m guessing you won’t see a lot of them around.) I have one (purchased from their sale section which is well worth checking out) and it’s held up well. Also, the leather on mine feels like butter.
Where do you get your blazers? I work in an engineering-casual environment and want to get away from cardigans.
anon
01/21/2016 at 4:45 pmEverlane, Cuyana, L.K. Bennett, Reiss, Longchamp
Sydney Bristow
01/21/2016 at 4:52 pmI got the Coach Stanton Carryall (the large one) before Christmas and am absolutely in love with it. It is really structured and holds all my stuff including my water bottle, sunglasses case, ipad, etc. The leather is really nice and it seems really sturdy. I got it because I can carry it over my shoulder (it has pretty long straps) or as a crossbody.
I haven’t seen anyone else with the exact same bag, but I have seen people with a somewhat similar one from other designers. I think there is a pretty similar Michael Kors one.
Wildkitten
01/21/2016 at 5:11 pmThats a gorgeous bag.
lslsls
01/21/2016 at 5:25 pmTry Brit Stitch, you can make a custom bag even. They have a laptop sized bag that would be great for work, not sure if it’s big enough though.
Anon
01/21/2016 at 6:48 pmI just bought a beautiful bag from Connected in Hope (a wonderful Ethiopian org that we also sponsor a child through and that I have visited in person). Incredibly high quality, made by hand, and I guarantee you that nobody will have the same one!
Anon
01/21/2016 at 6:48 pmHere is the link: http://www.connectedinhope.org/shop/product-category/leather-totesbags/
S
01/21/2016 at 7:44 pmCheck out J.W. Hulme Co.
Anokha
01/21/2016 at 8:16 pmWhat about Longchamp? I have one of their leather bags — super minimal branding (if at all), and they hold up nicely, especially given that I put my bags through the ringer!