Coffee Break: Laptop Tote

If you’re on the hunt for either a colorful laptop bag or an affordable one, do check out this well-reviewed bag at Amazon — I’m picturing it in blue but it comes in two pinks, a purple, khaki, grey, and black. All of the colors are marked down to $39.99, and feature a laptop compartment and tablet pocket (big enough to fit “most 15.6″ laptops”). DTBG Laptop Tote Bag

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  1. SuitSearch :

    Has anyone seen any tier 2ish summer suits they love, particularly those in summer colors and weights? Ideally under $400 for both pieces and available in a size 14.

  2. Anon for This :

    For everyone who has an expensive designer handbag, how did you pull the trigger? I’ve been lusting over a couple bags for years and have been saving up for a milestone birthday which is quickly approaching but I’m having a hard time justifying the purchase, even though I have the money set aside.

    • OG Monday :

      Well, don’t do it if you have to talk yourself into it! This isn’t the kind of thing you should force yourself to do.

      I bought myself a Chloe bag for my 30th birthday (5 years ago) and have never regretted it. If you’re excited about it, just think practically about versatility for your needs (color, shape, capacity) and, of course, paying for it.

    • I think if you were genuinely excited about it, you wouldn’t have to talk yourself into it. I gave myself permission a few years ago to not get on the designer handbag train. You do you, and maybe you don’t really want this. It’s ok to say “that’s a gorgeous bag,” without needing to have it.

    • Are you me? I did this last year. Mine wasn’t that expensive in the grand scheme of things (no LV here), but way more than I’d ever spent on a bag before. I think I waited a month or so before I actually used it. But I do love it and have no regrets. Also, not sure of your situation, but knowing that my husband was totally fine with it helped immensely.

    • contrarian :

      If you’ve been mulling this over for a while and it’s not a forever classic (Chanel flap bag), it’s probably a bag that’s past its prime. You wouldn’t buy acid wash jeans now, would you? But if you did, you wouldn’t be out a lot of $. With a fancy past-its-prime bag, you don’t want to be buying 4-figure acid wash jeans. The crowd that cares will notice and judge. If it’s scuffed or not brand-new out of the box looking, they may think you had it forever (in which case, perhaps a used version would suit your wallet better).

      • anonymama :

        fyi i think acid wash jeans are actually having a moment again:

    • Anon for This :

      OP here – I don’t think it’s a matter of having to talk myself into it. I’m just having a hard time justifying spending the money, even though it’s already been set aside. (I guess I’m more practical than I realized?) I’m single so there’s no one else I have to get on board…

      OG Monday and H – what bags did you buy?

      I have my eye on either a Chloe mini luggage tote or a Prada Double Zip Tote

      • When I bought my first expensive, designer bag, I told myself I had to carry it every day for a year. I like to switch out my bags on a regular basis, so it was a behavior change for me. I did it though with no problem. It’s neutral (gray leather), so it goes with everything. Still one of my favorites.

      • Anonymous :

        I think that the Chloe mini luggage tote (and the larger one) are beginning to look dated. Something less noticeable would probably serve you over a longer window. YSL Muse maybe? But if you love it, love away and let the haters hate.

      • OG Monday :

      • Never too many shoes... :

        I totally know the feeling. But as someone who now has a collection of fancy bags – just pull the trigger. If you love it, it will elevate any outfit no matter how blah and you will carry yourself differently when you use it. Truly.

    • I only buy designer handbags that I genuinely love and that I’ve wanted for a while. My most recent purchase was a very classic black leather Ferragamo satchel that I’d coveted for 9+ months before I finally bought it. I also typically carry them for 2-3 years (I tend to stick to more classic colors and shapes so they don’t feel or look too dated or trendy). If I’ve been wanting it for awhile and still find myself drawn to it for months when online shopping or browsing in store, I feel much more comfortable with spending four figures on it.

    • I’m having the same internal conflict– mine is over the LV neverfull. I have wanted it for a while, I have saved and have the $$, but I can’t bring myself to fork it over. Is this the right bag? I’ve never spent more than $250 on a bag (and that was a big deal, to me, at the time). Any advice on generally making the purchase, or on the neverfull specifically?

      • Anonymous :

        It’s hard not to roll my eyes at neverfulls nowadays. They are so common and honestly, the women I see carrying them are not women I would call chic or fashion-forward. It just looks like they’re trying too hard.

        • Agreed.

        • Bought too many bags :

          I actually think the Neverfull is a safe bet because it’s classic. If you aren’t swapping out for a different “it” bag every season, I agree (along the lines of contrarian above) that you are better served by a classic bag. Also, the stup!d LVs just get more and more expensive. I considered a Neverfull 2 years ago and they were less than $1000 (maybe $800ish?) and now they are $1200ish…sigh At that time I got the LV Pallas, which I do still think is great and classic, but I also ended up getting a large tote (Goyard *ducking from haters*) because they serve different purposes.

          Also, I spent YEARS buying lower end designer bags (Ferragamo – before it got so $$$, Dior or Gucci, which go on sale) because I thought the LV was too much but in the end I use the LV and Goyard more than anything. So buy what you like, enjoy it and be happy.

        • Luna mini :

          +1 Just saw a morbidly obese woman with elasticized pants (I’m assuming?) with one. LV is the new Coach.

      • Alanna of Trebond :

        + 1

        Neverfull and Goyard doesn’t make you fashionable. (which is fine, of course).

        • Morbidly obese women can’t have style and/or money? My next two words would put me in moderation if I typed them.

    • Lorelai Gilmore :

      I’ve never pulled the trigger on a truly designer bag – even though I’ve often liked beautiful bags and had the money to do so. When push comes to shove, it turns out that I just don’t feel comfortable spending that much money on a handbag when there are so many other things in the world to spend money on (including retirement savings!). I think it’s totally fine to make the purchase, but if you can’t get comfortable pulling the trigger, that’s okay too.

    • I bought a $2200 LV epi leather bag – basically after wanting a “nice” bag for a couple years and then deciding a basic black leather LV was the one. Honestly I feel a little silly spending that much on a bag. Wouldn’t do it again.

  3. I bought tickets for a gala dinner tomorrow for a charity that I really believe in. It appears to be a sort of high-society NYC thing, but I’m not at all from that world. I do have ties to the charity from other work I do, and I would like to become more involved over time with this group. BUT. I just got an email from the head of our company asking me to block off time for an open-ended meeting tomorrow evening. Based on prior experience, it could be cancelled at 4 PM (in which case I could go to the dinner), or I might be stuck in a meeting until midnight. My question is – can I come late to this sort of thing? Like, if the dinner is at 8 PM (with a cocktail hour starting at 6), at what point will it look so rude for me to show up that I would be better up not coming at all?

    • How big of a deal is your company meeting? Do you work someplace small where you have these meetings often or is this the CEO of Microsoft asking for your time? Why wouldn’t your first inclination be to say — I was actually planning on leaving at 6 pm tomorrow for an event, let me know if that presents a problem and I can re-work my schedule. If it’s super important that you be there, they’ll say it; if it’s their usual haphazard thing where they cancel last minute, this may cause them to say — oh it’s not a big deal let’s do it Thursday.

      • I agree with this. Depending on your employer’s culture, you may even want to add that it’s an event for a charity you support/are involved in (vs just filling a table), and/or name the charity. I’m sure it’s not the case everywhere, but many employers would see your involvement with the charity or in the community generally as good for the employer.

      • +1

      • Ah yes, I should have said this explicitly – this is an integral part of my job. I’m very well compensated specifically with the understanding that I will drop everything to make myself available when needed by the company head. I’m OK with this because I knew what I was signing up for, and the gala doesn’t meet the bar for refusing the meeting (although it would be fine if say, my kid were sick or something). Also, the meeting is just with the head, myself, and two other people, so we’d have to cancel entirely.

        • Anonymous :

          In that case in answer to your original question – showing up anytime from 6-8 during cocktail hour is fine. I personally wouldn’t show up after dinner begins ESP if I’m alone; it’s different if you’re seated w a group you know well – then you can show up anytime and catch up w dinner -but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case.

        • Anon in NYC :

          I think it’s totally fine/not rude if you skip the cocktail hour and arrive just in time for dinner. I personally wouldn’t show up after dinner started because it will probably be more of a hassle/not worth your time.

        • Thanks, that’s really helpful to hear. I guess I’ll bring my dress to work, and go if I can make it in time for the dinner, and otherwise send my partner on his own. We don’t have plans to meet anyone else there (though we’ll likely know a handful of people in the room). Appreciate the advice!

          • If you are joining your partner, I’d totally go late.

            It seems like its an event that you really care about and want to attend, so therefore I think going late is better than not at all.

          • Hope you get to make it!

          • Senior Attorney :

            I agree, if your partner will be there it’s perfectly fine to join him when you can.

          • Thanks so much everyone, I will absolutely take the advice to slip in if at all possible. I do think there’s a good chance the meeting will be canceled and I’ll get to go – I’ll update tomorrow! You’re right that I would be disappointed not to go – both because I really care about the cause and hope to eventually take on more of a leadership role in this organization, and also because it will be a rare night out with my partner in his tux :) I should probably take small bills to tip the bartenders, right? Any other tips to get through the night gracefully, assuming it happens?

  4. Makeup and Face masks Questions :

    I’ve been getting more into makeup, skincare lately and have some questions for you ladies.

    Makeup: do any of you use a setting powder after you put on top of your foundation, concealer, etc? I see makeup artists use it in their tutorials but I cant think of anyone I know that uses it. Also, what are some go-to brands for foundation and concealer? I got a sample of Koh Gen Do’s foundation and it was amazing but pretty pricey but I dont wear makeup everyday so maybe its worth it?

    Skincare: Ive only used a face mask once when I went to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland last year. It was nice but i didnt see much of an effect on my skin or anything. Do any of you regular face mask users find it beneficial for your skin if you use one a few times a week (or once a week)? Or is it more of a relaxation thing.? What are some face masks you guys recommend?

    • Re setting powder – are you using a liquid or powder foundation? When I used a liquid foundation I always needed powder to prevent me from getting too oily. Now I use a powder foundation and I’ve found a setting spray to be more effective than a setting powder. I’ve used various Urban Decay sprays; I’m not sure I see much of a difference among the different types. I’ve used Dermablend’s setting powder (it came in a Play! box) and it was OK but not as effective as the spray.

      I don’t use face masks on a regular basis, but I keep them on hand for when my skin is going crazy. In the winder I need a lot more moisture and when it’s hot and humid I need extra help extracting yuck from my pores. I like Glamglow products but they’re a bit spendy. Origins out of trouble mask is good for acne and redness.

    • If you’re still learning, my favorite beauty blogger is Broadcast Beauty, aka emilynoel83. She used to be a tv news anchor, so her videos are super professional, and now she’s a really down-to-earth SAHM who specializes in drugstore/Ulta makeup. I firmly believe you don’t have to spend a lot to get good products.

      I don’t use a powder. I’ve had good luck with setting sprays – Wet n Wild makes one that I like as well as Smashbox’s.

      I don’t use a mask, but I do use this to exfoliate once or twice a week. You can find it at Target/drugstores.

      For foundation, I’ve been wearing Neutrogena foundation since junior high, just changing the formulations as I’ve aged (I’m using their retinol formulas now instead of the skin clearning ;) ).

    • I use a setting powder on my nose/under my eyes with liquid products to prevent oilyness/creasing. If I’m wearing powder foundation, I agree with everyone above that I just use a setting spray.

      I use a mud mask every few weeks on my T-zone to help clear pores, and if things get really messy on my nose (haven’t lately, thanks to regular exfoliation) I use the scary black peeling mask. Like Tribble above, I am a huge fan of Glam Glow. I specifically really like the Youth Mud and the Thirsty Mud (for the winter).

    • I like charcoal or sulfur based masks for clogged pores or acne. The Origins charcoal and the Peter Thomas Roth sulfur masks are my go-tos. I also use the LaNiege sleeping mask in the winter when my skin is really dry.

      I do sheet masks mainly because they’re fun and they feel like a real pampering experience, though I haven’t found any that really seem to show results.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      Yes, I use a setting powder. For loose powder, love Laura Mercier. For pressed setting powder, love Bobbi Brown nude finish illuminating powder. Prefer loose powder on warmer days when I get more oily, but otherwise prefer the pressed variety.

    • I like these Korean face masks and find that they soothe and moisturize my face well.

    • I use liquid foundation and finish it with pressed powder. Both are from MAC. I have had my makeup done by professionals too many times and MAC works the best for my skin. It survives also my evening seim sessions in chlorinated water.
      As for face masks, you should decide what is your objective – hydrate the upper layers of your skin, remove dead skin cells, unclog pores, sooth irritation, brightening – and then pick the right one for this specific task.
      I use two types (at separate times) – a clay mask to help clear my skin (I have green clay powder which I mix with water) and a moisturizing mask (which is more of a treat and relaxation for me). I try different moisturizing masks as I have’t found THE one yet.
      I would not put too much hope into face masks though. It is great to pay more attention to your skin and you will certainly learn a lot while doing so, but masks are no miracle.

  5. Cute Overload :

    I am desperately trying to use every ounce of self-control to remain professional right now. Another attorney in my office is meeting with a client that is a wildlife professional. They are conducting the meeting while he wears a pouch that has a baby kangaroo in it! I happened to see it as I walked to the bathroom. The attorney let me in to meet her client briefly. I couldn’t pet the kangaroo but I got to see it. Now they are just back in the meeting. I just want to run in there and steal it!!! I never in a million years thought I would see a kangaroo at work today. Best day ever.

    • pugsnbourbon :

      I would 100% lose my composure. And maybe get fired for an attempted roo-napping.

    • So Cute!!

    • Anon in NYC :

      That sounds awesome. I really want a baby kangaroo in my workplace right now.

    • BeenThatGuy :

      Remain professional while there is a baby kangaroo in your office!? Geek out! Best. Day. Ever.

    • Anonymous :

      Gross potentially disease carrying wildlife in the office – how often. Even more awesome if they’re in a conference room I have to use later.

      • Anonymous :

        *How fun

      • Anonymous :

        We all carry diseases. Maybe the joey should be scared of us. I am scared of us — he has the species barrier in his favor.

        • Anonymous :

          +1 It’s not like the handler picked up a feral animal wandering around outside. OP probably wasn’t allowed to pet it to project the joey from human germs.

      • joan wilder :

        Given how many times I am in the restroom at work, hear people flush and walk out the door (sans handwashing), I’d be far more concerned about using the conference room after your colleagues and their human clients.

        • Never too many shoes... :

          +1Billion to this.

        • Seriously! I know this is a digression, but our office’s single-person restroom is nextdoor to my office and I can hear whether the sink runs or not (and yes, it sucks being bathroom-adjacent for all sorts of reasons). So many people don’t wash hands every time! And they always seem to head straight for the coffee pot or the refrigerator. YUCK.

        • Yay Kat! I love a new laptop tote, but will ONLEY buy 100% genuine leather, NEVER PLEATHER! FOOEY! For $39.95, you are NOT going to get real leather and it will begin to chip and crack, unlike REAL leather from Coach. So hold back, save your cash and get a REAL leather tote, if not from Coach, then from TUMI. YAY!!!

          As for the OP, I agree. A man that never washes his hands is a man that will never get near me again. Sheketovits washed, but ONLEY when I knew where his paws were headed. And, Frank NEVER washes his hands when he comes out of the toilet at work. FOOEY! I know b/c when he does (after an hour on the bowl), he unlocks the door and low and behold, the sink is COMPLETELEY dry, meaning he did NOT wash his hands. And needless to say, when Frank uses the toilet, he uses the toilet, and the whole office knows that he has made #2 (poopie). So I can NOT fault someone who brings a kangaroo into work, b/c that kangaroo does NOT poop in the pouch of his mommie. FOOEY if he did!

      • Do you always have to put a damper on people’s fun?

    • I used to be on the board of a local humane society, and there were always puppies and kittens and bunnies in board meetings. All meetings should have a puppy running around.

    • New Tampanian :

      STOP IT!

      I would absolutely be losing my sh!t. In fact, it is a known thing in my office that if there are babies or animals, I’m likely not doing work during that time.

      Go pet the kangaroo!

      • Cute Overload :

        I did get to see it. No petting allowed per the handler/client. I got to see it again at the end of their meeting. But I couldn’t just keep interrupting to see it. That was the “be professional part” I was joking about. I was totally swooning. My heart is still racing at the awesomeness. As word spread through the office people kept finding excuses to walk by the room and see it through the window. They couldn’t stop the meeting every time to show it off. The handler/client was very nice and allowed us all time to talk with him at the end of the meeting. Then I had no worries about socializing vs. doing work. It was just hard to exercise restraint while allowing them to conduct the meeting!

    • OMG! Best Monday ever!

  6. In-House Europe :

    Ladies, I’m needing some shopping help! Anyone willing to take a stab? I’m going to Majorca (Spanish party island) for a 40th birthday/girls weekend soon and need something appropriate for clubbing. I’m a size 10 apple (bit of a belly) and trying to strike the right tone of not too dressy, not matronly, but also not trying to look like I’m 25. Oh and it needs to ship to Europe. Help!!

    • Anonymous :

      I am hoping you get good suggestions. I am the poster from last week who wears pool-hall attire every time I go out. Which is great for pool but would not fly in Majorca (I’m guessing).

    • If you need to ship to Europe, I’d look at the Asos website.

    • +1 for ASOS! Also check out Mango or Zara.

    • Bought too many bags :

      I’d peruse this UK 40-something blogger’s site for inspiration maybe – she has all sorts of high and low end outfits for lots of occasions

  7. Anyone else here listen to the My Favorite Murd er podcast? I’m about to go through a slow time at work and I’m SO EXCITED about binge listening.

  8. Baconpancakes :

    Squeee! My new office has a dog policy! I’m not a pupmom, but I’m super excited to get to play with all the doge! I just hope my cat will forgive me, haha.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      That is so awesome! I know someone at a software company who is constantly posting photos of the digs he gets to hang with at work…super jealous of all the cuteness.

    • New Tampanian :


      I. am. so. jealous.

    • Anonymous :

      Oh gosh a regular dog policy would be a nightmare for me. I have severe dog allergies. I take OTC meds every day to combat dog fur/dander that might be on people’s clothes. If I’m in the same building as a dog I will be going to the ER. One day, the copy room guy brought in his new puppy with no warning. I had to be the huge drama queen jerk who had to immediately run out of the office and ask HR for the puppy to go away and never come back :'( And for the floors to be cleaned so I could come back to the office.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        I’m sorry you have to deal with that. My former receptionist had the same problem. I had never met someone with as severe as a dog allergy as she had. She also had to leave work to go to the hospital once when someone unexpectedly brought a dog in without telling anyone. Since so many people have dogs, it must be a really hard allergen to avoid.

      • SoCalAtty :

        I’m that way with cats – and there is cat dander EVERYWHERE. It’s inescapable. I carry benadryl, take a daily antihistamine, and carry an epi-pen in case of serious exposure (I’ve never had to use it, thankfully). I’d probably die if this was done in an open office, but I seemed to be ok at my last law firm as long as the dogs stayed out of my own office and in the common areas.

    • Anonymous :

      I honestly don’t get the whole take your pet to work thing. I’m sure it’s great if you have a pet you’d like to see more and maybe it’s nice as a special day kind of thing, but it seems kind of disruptive and unnecessary.

      • They stop being disruptive about 3 days in, when everyone gets used to them as long as the dogs are well-behaved. The one office I worked in that allowed dogs had several sweet middle aged and elderly dogs who slept a lot and were great for stress-relief (i.e. petting). Having said that, I would certainly understand the allergy issues they present.

        Having said THAT, however, I have one dear friend who is an assault survivor with PTSD and who and takes her dog everywhere, including to work. That basically makes it possible for her to function since otherwise she is completely paralyzed with anxiety. (And this is after massive, expensive therapy and lots of drugs that did not help nearly as much as one very nice German Shepard.)

        • Anonymous :

          *As long as the dogs are well-behaved* That is a really key point.

          That being said, I don’t really get it either, but I also don’t have pets (and don’t really want them). I like other people’s pets just fine (because they’ve been well trained), but…I feel like pets are like kids in this regards – they don’t belong in the workplace on a regular basis.

        • If it’s a service animal, she doesn’t need a take your pet to work policy.

      • I’m pretty sure my dog would stretch out and sleep all day.

  9. In-House in Texas :

    Ladies, I’m planning a trip to NE this fall and I know I need to get my hotels ASAP. Here’s my plan but wanted to know if it’s do-able. Fly into Portland, Maine and stay in Damariscotta for 3 nights. Take train to Boston to spend 2 nights, then back home. The questions I have: Do I need a car in Damariscotta? I can rent a car at the airport in Portland, right? But then if I’m taking the train to Boston, then I have to return the car at the airport and it seems like sort of a pain do to that. Do I need a car in Boston? I’m guessing I could Uber from train station in Boston to the hotel? Any recommendations for a hotel in Boston that’s central to placed we’d want to stay. First visit to the area. Thanks in advance!

    • Anonymous :

      Is there a reason (family, etc.) you’re going to Damariscotta? I’ve spent a lot of time in Maine and hadn’t heard of it, and from a quick Google search it doesn’t look especially interesting or scenic for the coast of Maine (pretty much all of coastal Maine is nice). For a first time visitor to the state, I would recommend trying to see the Portland area, the Bar Harbor/Acadia area or the Mt. Katahdin/Baxter State Park area rather than some random small town.

      With respect to the car question, you will need a car anywhere you go in Maine (even if you plan to stay in the city of Portland I would recommend a car because the public transit there is not great). Yes, you can rent at the Portland airport. In Boston you can get by without a car.

      • She can taxi from the airport to the train station or a hotel in Portland. Downtown Portland is all very walkable.

        • Anonymous :

          Yeah but you’ll want a car to go see Cape Elizabeth Light and stuff like that. Most people who visit Portland want to explore beyond the Old Port.

    • Damariscotta is cute but really does not need three nights unless you’re planning to do day trips from there. Yes, you do need a car there but I would not suggest one in Boston – parking isn’t fun.

    • Diana Barry :

      If you are going to be on the mid-coast, I would rent a car. You would otherwise have to take a bus from Portland to Damariscotta (about 1.5 hrs on the bus). Then drive from Damariscotta to Boston and return the car, take the silver line (super convenient bus) or T to the hotel. You don’t need a car in Boston and I would not drive here if I didn’t need to. :)

      Where are you planning on visiting in Boston? The Sheraton near Kendall/Lechmere is pretty nice IIRC but that was a while back for me.

    • Yes, you need a car for anywhere in Maine. Are you using Damariscotta as a home base for your three nights? Are you going to be there during the pumpkinfest? I agree with others that three nights just for Damariscotta may be a bit much. I would do a night in Portland, night in Damariscotta and a night in Bar Harbor. Return the car to the airport in Portland and take a taxi over to the train station (they aren’t far away from each other but nor are they a walkable distance). You don’t need a car in Boston. The train will deposit you at North Station, and it is easy enough to catch a cab/uber/walk/ the T to central locations. For hotels in Boston near the Faneuil Hall/Commons, I like the Revere, the Taj, the Bostonian, and I’ve gotten great rates on occasion at the Intercontinental. For hotels more toward the Back Bay, the Lenox and Westin are nice. For planning purposes, find out when the Head of the Charles Regatta is this year and avoid that weekend.

      • In-House in Texas :

        OP here. Thank you for the suggestions! Staying in a different hotel each night sounds like a lot of work!! What about 2 nights in Bar Harbor and then 1 night in Damariscotta? The Harborside Hotel and Spa in Bar Harbor looks really nice. Any other suggestions? Thank you!!

    • Anomnibus :

      You definitely won’t need a car here, if you’re just going to be in the Boston-Brookline-Cambridge area. The Amtrak stations are all in the city, the T serves all major tourist areas, and if you need a more direct route, take Lyft or Uber. Parking is a giant pain in the bum around here.

  10. Anonymous :

    Ladies, talk to me about Baltimore. Considering a job there that would be parallel move but with a company that has much more room for ladder climbing. Late 20s, no children (or plans for any, so schools don’t factor in at all), would have a car and the job would most likely require some traveling in the area, so I’d need to keep it (but am not opposed to traveling by public transit on other days). Office is in Inner Harbor area, so I guess that’s fairly central? I’d be moving from Pittsburgh.

    • Anonymous :

      Baltimore is a fun town. The Inner Harbor and Fells Point are the nicer neighborhoods in the city. They’re both very walkable – lots of bars and restaurants, decent shopping, and there’s always a ton of people around. It’s fairly affordable (though the locals will complain) and lots of professionals live around there. There are still pockets of the where’d-you-go-to-high-school crowds, but for the most part there has been enough influx of young professionals that you shouldn’t have trouble making friends.

      If you like beer, there are a couple of really amazing beer places. Max’s Tavern has a crazy number of taps and tons of bottles. They have a beer festival on Belgian Independence Day every year. Alewife is also great. Both have good food.

    • Baltimore is great – Canton or Fells Point are the go-to places for living/leisure for your age group. There are downtown (Inner Harbor) apartments, but I believe only one has parking. Almost all apartments in Canton, Fells Point, and Locust Point or Federal Hill have parking.

      Everything along the water is very walkable, which is nice, and the neighborhood you choose really depends on the vibe and type of house/apartment you want. Let me know if you have any questions, I’ve lived in pretty much every neighborhood in the city!

      Just a head’s up, public transit is terrible – bus schedules are nonexistent and there is essentially no subway. The only public transit worth taking is the water taxi. However, as much as locals complain, traffic is nothing compared to other cities, and most workplaces have good parking.

    • Charmed Girl :

      If you’re coming from Pittsburgh you’ll probably be ok. It’s similar in a gritty, old-city, kind of way. I lived in Baltimore for 14 years after grad school. I moved there for a job right around the same age as you are now.

      Baltimore is the type of place that is old school, as in where’d you go to high school, like the previous poster said. I did make friends in the 14 years I was there, but it never felt like home.

      I left about a year ago for another job opportunity and while I liked Baltimore, I’m happy to no longer be there.

      Back to the positive. There are some fun neighborhoods- I’d say Federal Hill, Canton, Mount Vernon and Hampden would all be good. If you want something longer term, Roland Park. I’ll be selling my house soon if interested ;) But seriously, those other neighborhoods would be a better fit for your life stage.

      If you’re PNC, the office is right in the inner harbor (very fun location) and Federal Hill is walkable- which is nice.

      Let me know if you want to chat more about Baltimore, etc.

    • Hey! I grew up in Baltimore and worked in the city after college for a year. Weirdly, I moved to Pittsburgh right after! Anyway, downtown/inner harbor/harbor east/fells point (your office is likely in one of those neighborhoods) are all nice, safe, new restaurants popping up all the time. I like the inner harbor because it has tourists and feels upbeat but is never as crowded as New York or Philly. Late 20s no kids describes most of my friends who live in the city right no so now qualms there. You will need a car, no doubt, so keep it. There are certainly some neighborhoods- several- where I absolutely would not live, so you need to pick a budget/distance from work and then scout out safe neighborhoods. As a native in my opinion most of the stuff you’ll hear/read about Baltimore and crime/safety issues is completely false (no, it is not like the wire). I have never encountered an issue as a petite female.

      Federal Hill, Fells point, Upper fells, Some parts around patterson park, pigtown, brewers hill, and canton are all neighborhoods that are popular right now. Hope this helps!

  11. East Coast 4 lyfe :

    Advice requested… I’m a born and bred East Coaster and all my and DH’s family and most of friends are back on the East Coast. A few years ago we relocated for my job to the West Coast so I can get my foot in the door of a specific industry. We always wanted to work our way back East.
    I’ve been networking with someone at my company who works in a smaller, East Coast office. I could do my same job (which I really enjoy) but for a different business unit if I worked for him. The question is how do I bring up with him that I really desperately want him to bring me on in his office? I don’t want to burn any bridges but it would be my dream job. FWIW I also have no upward mobility where I currently am (senior management is stacked, no one is going anywhere for a long, long, time), so I would have to leave eventually anyway.

    • Do you ever see him in person or is it just by phone? Best is if he’s in your west coast office – ask to have coffee or chat with him if he has time and then just bring it up; then it can be more casual about how you/DH are from the east coast, considering a move back there, and talk about his business unit. If it must be by phone then you’ll have to be more direct about it but it can be done. I’d be VERY clear about the fact that you just LOVE your job/company and don’t want to just leave but given your desire to be on the east coast, you’re looking a few yrs down the road and though about his business unit blah blah. Reality is you don’t know who else he talks to so you don’t want to leave him with the impression that you’re ready to up and quit bc you don’t know who he’d tell and how they’d react esp with an already stacked mgmt team.

  12. East Coast 4 lyfe :

    If it helps, he’s in the East Coast office, which I’ve gone to visit, and is currently in my West Coast location for meetings, so we’re meeting later this week to catch up. I’ll also be back in the East Coast office later this month…

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Maybe when you are in the east coast office you could comment on how great it feels to be “home” and go from there…

  13. Anonymous :

    One of my friends asked me, a little bit uncharacteristically, to get together on short notice and long story short, told me that she’s having some second thoughts about her sexuality after getting married over the holidays (Dec 2016). I was really at a loss for what to say, but basically she is worried that when she has LGP she needs to think about gardening only with women in order to bloom (?) I told her what one of my college friends used to say, that we’re all a little bit bi and I didn’t think she needed to come out to her husband or anything (which seemed to be what she was suggesting). But now I’m worried that I (a) wasn’t supportive, (b) minimized her feelings, and (c) who knows, but that I wasn’t just a good friend. Any advice? Is there anything I could say to her that would be more helpful?

    • That’s not the kind of thing to keep secret from your spouse.

      • And saying “we’re all a little bit bi” is pretty dismissive. I think you gave bad advice here.

        • Anonymous :

          Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. I was flustered and she mentioned it sort of in passing, and I feel like I dropped the ball. But I’m not sure what to say if I follow up with a phone call, etc.

        • Luna mini :

          +1 You basically told her that being bi isn’t a thing. Not cool.

    • Anonymous :

      Should add that I didn’t put the 2+2 together about her wanting to get together on short notice and the concern about LGP until after the fact — but now I am worried that I basically shut her down, accidentally.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Just call her and tell her that: “I’m worried that I may have accidentally shut you down and I just don’t want to leave it like that.”

        • Anonymous :

          Thanks SA…I am so upset at myself for screwing this up, and that does actually sound like something I would say. (direct, not too touchy-feely).

    • I can totally understand how she caught you a little flat-footed on this one – this is quite a lot to lay on someone out of the blue.

      I would call her or write her a note and say that you enjoyed getting together and it was good to catch up, and just say that you realized later you may have come across differently than you intended when she brought up her orientation. Then say that you’re always glad to talk about anything she wants to, and you really want her to be happy and are glad that she can share things with you.

      At this point, I don’t think you need to give her any further advice unless she specifically asks for it. And in that case, probably the only advice you can give is “talk to your husband” or “talk to a therapist” or both. I would try to position yourself as “supportive and loving sounding-board friend” rather than advice-giver who can help her figure out what to do.

      • Anonymous :

        OK, thank you. That’s what I was thinking. I am definitely someone who tends to want to give advice (working on that), and I am cursing myself in this particular instance for doing it. Ugh.

    • Anonymous :

      I agree that what your friend is saying doesn’t mean that she is bi, so in that sense you were right, but I do think that you potentially shut her down. I agree with AnonZ that you should open the door again and let her come to you.

  14. is it just me :

    or have we not heard from Jitterbug and Sydney Bristow in a while?

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