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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Carolyn Ponte Dress

Yellow Dress for Work: Boden Carolyn Ponte Dress Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.  Pockets and sleeves, and available in black as well as a fun mustard color? Sign me up. We just went on a hunt for work dresses with pockets and sleeves, and it’s always great to add to the very short list of dresses that fit the bill! I like the semi-’60s vibe to the dress in mustard, but I also like that the vibe is more subdued in the black version. The dress is $138 at Boden, available in sizes 2-16 in regular and tall sizes. Boden Carolyn Ponte Dress Two plus-size options are here and here; the latter is available in petite and tall sizes as well. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

347 Comments

  1. My office is doing a diet bet/quitting smoking combo challenge. There have been three shouting matches…today. I understand everyone is on edge but I can’t handle this. We are in cubicle land which makes things worse. I am not a smoker nor am I in the diet bet so I can clearly see everyone becoming frayed. I know there isn’t a solution but it’s so bad.

    1. My friend’s office did a weight loss competition and she basically starved herself for the duration. She was miserable to be around socially, I’m sure she was horrid at work. If companies want to encourage healthy habits, I wish they’d do a food/exercise tracking challenge instead of just weight loss.

      1. I wish they wouldn’t do it at all. If they want to encourage healthy habits, I wish they’d offer subsidized gym memberships, provide standing desks for anyone who wants one, have healthy options in vending machines, and offer a fair amount of vacation time and encourage employees to use it.

        2. Seriously. My former big law firm had a weight loss challenge and the management kept going on and on about how they were encouraging healthy habits. Um, forcing people to pull all-nighters, work 16+ hours a day and never take vacation is the opposite of encouraging healthy habits. (The person who won the weight loss challenge was also widely rumored to be a heavy drug user so yeah….super healthy!)

          1. My former big law firm had a partner who participated in the weight loss challenge but complained to an associate that she wasn’t going to win because other people were more fat than her and would lose a larger percentage of their body weight.

          2. Not a fan, but she has a point. My SIL dropped 70 pounds recently, which is truly impressive. I could stand a health refresh and much more exercise, but don’t plan to lose weight (I’m a regular blood donor, so I need to stay above their floor in any event; for some odd reason, I am really want to have my # of gallon pins in my obit).

            Note to self: run your own race

          3. Uhhh yeah if staying above 110lbs is a concern you prob don’t need to be losing weight.

            Cry me a river skinny people who can’t win weight loss contests.

          4. Yeah, so, I wouldn’t be able to win one of those competitions either, so I just don’t participate. Why would you participate and then bitch about not being able to win? That makes no sense.

            @ Sydney Bristow — agree. Some companies around town also sponsor teams to participate in local races (5k and 10k etc) and in the MS150 (for those not from Texas, a charity bike ride from Houston to Austin every year), which I think are good initiatives. Just “challenging” your employees to not be such fatties isn’t encouraging.

          5. And yet, if weight lost is based on pounds, won’t the balance naturally tip to men winning? They start heavier and my husband can drop 20 pounds fast, depending on beer consumption alone it seems. He can drop more with only a few tweaks.

            Stacked deck against women in general to measure this way.

          6. Plus, unless they are having employees’ bodies scanned for fat percentage (which who would do anyway), “weight” is very misleading. Particularly for women, you can be in phenomenal shape, drop 2 dress sizes and stay the same “weight” because of muscle v. fat composition. If they want to encourage healthy habits, they should have a variety of incentives like Whole 30: sleeping enough each night, pedometers, glasses of water, eating vegetables, 15 minutes of guided meditation, cooking a new recipe/ trying new foods, taking encouraged time off, mental health options under insurance, etc.

            Anyway, sorry everyone is cranky at work.

      2. My office does it this way and I really prefer it. We recently did a FitBit steps competition, but you could put yourself in three different categories based on your current level of activity. We also do a lot of daily activity challenges where if you do x minutes of activity every day, you check the box, and everyone with a completed sheet gets entered to win a prize. I feel like this does a better job of incentivizing healthy behavior without promoting extreme habits.

        1. Our company does this type of competition (steps, meditation, etc all earn points as does keeping a (private) food log) and then gives away iPads or FitBits. All of it is self-reported and non-mandatory. They also provide free membership to the gym in the building.

    2. Umm…how is this even remotely appropriate for the office and/or how did it pass legal review? What if someone has an eating disorder?

      1. There was just an Ask A Manager question about this exact issue in the last week or so. Office weight loss challenge and constant chatter about it was triggering an employee who was recovering from an eating disorder. Employee wrote in asking for ways to shut it down without disclosing the eating disorder.

    3. I’m no expert on psychology, but I would imagine that getting a bunch of Type An high achieving people into a weight loss competition is a recipe for disaster.

      Beyond that, it seems that focusing on healthy eating and fitness would be better. Step competition, anyone?

      1. “I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside me and then it eats all my food so I don’t get fat.”

          1. I’m headed home to watch this episode tonight. That show never stops being funny.

  2. I attempted to go “no contact” on a guy I was seeing for 3 months after he told me he had feelings for me but he wasn’t ready to give up on his ex. I handled things with grace and told him that I accept his decision and maybe our paths will cross again someday. This was 3 weeks ago. Since then he’s texted me twice just saying “hi” and “hope you’re well” which I ignored for almost a week and eventually cracked and responded just saying I’m well. A few days later I moved out of town to start a new job and he texted me on moving day saying he wishes me luck and that I am going to do great, and that I am “one of the most beautiful people” he knows. So, not sure what is going on here. I genuinely miss his friendship so. I want to respond because I would like to have that with him but I don’t like having my emotions toyed with either. Should I just ignore even though he said something nice? Or reply with something very simple?

    1. Let it go. Investing time here will keep you from investing it in any better place / person.

    2. He’s just keeping in touch to keep you on the backburner. If he was really interested, he would be calling and/or say more than “hi” and “hope you are well” in a text. Protect yourself by moving on.

    3. He’s in love with his ex and wants to get back with her, yet he’s texting you that you’re “beautiful.” What a stand up guy. This is not someone who wants a friendship with you. And you know very well you can’t be just-friends with him. Also, even if you kept in touch with him, what happens when he gets in a new relationship, with his ex or someone else? You think it’s appropriate for him to keep this kind of flirtatious “friendship” going when he’s committed to another woman? He’s either going to drop you like a hot potato the minute he finds another woman or he’s going to continue to string you along thus creating a ton of drama you don’t need.

        1. Also, he didn’t say anything nice. He said something manipulative (to you) and shady/terrible (to current girlfriend/women everywhere).

    4. Yeah, I agree with the others here. It’s not easy and we have all been there but you need to cut all contact. You deserve better.

    5. He’s keeping in touch with you in hopes of restarting a relationship if things don’t work out with his ex (or maybe even on the side while he’s with his ex…who knows). You need to cut all contact so you get over him once and for all and meet someone better.

    6. No you can’t “stay” friends. You never were “friends.” You were a woman he wanted to be available to him while he keeps his options open. Obviously he still wants that.

      Show some self respect here. You didn’t want to date him while he is into someone else. Block his number/ignore his texts. He is not good for you.

      1. I don’t like the harsh “show some self respect” comment. I think we as women are often taught to be respectful and deferential to people who say “nice things”. The OP asked if its ok to ignore him when he says nice things. That’s probably a culturally ingrained response. To the OP, I say to definitely ignore him. You’re not being rude, you’re sticking up for yourself to a jerk.

        1. Oh come on princess. She should respect herself more! That isn’t “harsh”. That’s solid advice.

          1. What a gross response. And really condescending, I hope you don’t go around delivering this insulting packaged “solid advice” in real life.

        2. It’s not even just an ingrained need to be deferential. I’d say 99% of people that aren’t complete narcissists would be pleased and hopeful to hear a flattering comment from someone that they once cared for- especially when that person rejected her. Oh, wow, a guy you liked broke up with you, you a) miss him and b) wonder whether he cared for you/if you still matter to him………. how completely and entirely reasonable! Wanting to be desired by a person you desire is entirely within the expected emotional range of a healthy adult. The fact that feeling is totally understandable doesn’t make it a good idea to try to be friends with him- but of course it feels good to hear until you dig down.

    7. Just ignore it. He’s keeping you on the sidelines if no better option (his ex) comes around. Congrats on the move! Use this as an opportunity to start fresh. No doubt you ARE a beautiful person, so find someone who wants to give all of himself to you.

    8. Ok – y’all are right. My gut was telling me that he is just keeping me around so he can reach out to me when things don’t work out with his ex but I did enjoy the companionship. But you guys are right, this is just going to create drama and make it hard for me to stay focused on my new career. I do feel a little bad just totally ignoring him with no explanation though. Should I say something to him?

      1. No. Really, there’s no need, and you’re not going to have a continuing relationship with this guy anyway since you have left town. One guy I went on a date with told me that guys are used to silence as a “no,” so he will probably be less bothered by your “ghosting” him than you would be.

      2. Edit: let me rephrase that – I feel like telling him why I no longer want to communicate with him is the mature way to handle this. I realize I don’t owe him any explanation.

        1. No, that’s just an excuse for continuing to talk to him. You have Already ended things with him. The mature thing is to move on.

        2. no. this dood is bad news. stop making excuses. he will get the message that you don’t want to communicate with him if you STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HIM. No need for an “official” conversation that wastes everyone’s time and opens the door for some long drawn out thing.

        4. Who decides what’s mature? He isn’t being very mature himself. It’s fine to send him a “Please don’t contact me any more” text if you think that’s taking the high road (but then you have to stick to it), but you don’t have some sort of obligation to him (or to society at large) to behave in a certain way.

      3. I’m one of those people who can’t just ignore someone. It feels rude. And I know it’s OK to be rude to someone who’s been rude to you, but the silent treatment just isn’t me. I would respond to the “you’re a beautiful person” comment with a simple “Inappropriate.” If he responds (he probably won’t), say something like, “This is crossing a line for me and I don’t think we should keep in touch. Wish you all the best.”

        1. If you ABSOLUTELY MUST have an official conversation, skip the first step, just send him “I’m not interested. please stop contact me.”

          a cryptic “inappropriate” is just going to spark mo re discussion.

          2. Definitely a “stop contacting me”. F9ck him (metaphorically, of course).

            Also, you don’t need to justify jack squat. Move on with your bad self.

          4. Yeah he’s gonna be all “y is that inappropriate for me to say ur beautiful. y can’t u take a compliment. i’m just being a nice guy. ur crazy”

            Vom.

      4. Well, that settles it. I’m not responding to him. Any to whoever said he wasn’t being nice and that he was actually being manipulative- thank you. You all are right.

  3. Okay, I’ve posted before and got a couple of inquiries but no serious feedback. I’m a recruiter. My industry was recently changed due to an office restructuring and I now focus on the medical device industry. The majority of my clients are in the manufacturing sector. The Compliance and Regulatory Affair roles that I place for are all direct hire opportunities with well establish companies, some being divisions of Fortune 500 companies.

    I currently have an Orthopedic manufacturing company in SW Florida that needs an RA Specialist and a medical technology company in NJ that needs an RA Manager. The roles are not entry level and require Medical Device experience. Please feel free to let me know if I can send more information (job descriptions/compensation/company information) off site to anyone.

    My company has been in the recruiting industry for over 50 years and has 70+ branches nationwide. I don’t mind sharing my information with genuinely interested candidates but I don’t want to waste my time with ‘Lookey Lous’.

    I really hope that I get the chance to share these opportunities with some qualified ladies. The biggest problem with female candidates is getting them to relocate for new opportunities – even though the companies willingly cover the cost.

    1. I saw your post yesterday and I was a little unclear. Are you looking for feedback, and if so on what, or are you trying to a few people here for the roles?

      1. Not so much that I’m looking for feedback… But maybe so- if the post isn’t clear. I’d like to share opportunities (like the ones above) that may be of interest to individuals that would like to utilize their legal background in a corporate setting that will offer a fair life/work balance and six figure salary.
        This could be an ongoing thing (sharing RA/Compliance opportunities) if the response is positively received. Otherwise- I don’t want to troll. I will continue to source talent off of LinkedIn, job boards and other more traditional sources.

        1. This really isn’t a job board, so it seems weird to have the post here.

          And – you said you’re looking for people with Reg experience, right? Even someone with a legal background is still going to be entry-ish level as a MedDev person, unless they’ve been working in MedDev Reg/Compliance on the legal (rather than industry side). So, you don’t actually sound like you are looking for lawyers who want to transition to med device without med device experience.

          And are you looking for FDA expertise, EU expertise, or both? Because even someone with US legal (non-med device) experience is likely not going to have EU directive/regulation experience.

          (And no, I”m not interested. I like my current employer, have lots of other opportunities here and have no desire to move to Florida or NJ).

        2. Ugh why are you trying to recruit here? Beyond the inappropriateness of that, the tone of your post is really weird and exactly the reason why I dislike working with recruiters (the I know best mentality).

    2. Are you trying to recruit from this site? Why don’t you talk to Kat about it and figure out the best way to solicit interest? Because a random wordy post that doesn’t get to the point helps nobody – you or any potential job seekers.

    3. “I’m a recruiter and currently have a couple positions open for xyz. If anyone is interested click on my name for a link to my contact info.”

      1. Yep, with also a note about where the jobs are located.

        I’m not qualified or interested, but I was still a little turned off by your last two paragraphs. Isn’t everyone learning more about a new opportunity “just looking,” especially at first? It also feels like you’re generalizing that women don’t want to relocate … because they’re women. Even if that’s how you’re interpreting the situation, it’s going to turn people off on this s!te.

        1. +1.

          Your first two paragraphs, while not really appropriate for a thread here, were fine. Those last two? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

  4. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to learn or do but haven’t done yet?

    Ive wanted to learn to play the drums for years. I wish I would have picked drums as my instrument in band instead of flute! I’m thinking about signing up for lessons but I’m nervous for some reason.

    1. Knitting! I always pick it up every now and then, but can only do very basic stitches. I think being able to create something would be so cool and it’s nice and relaxing.

      1. I’d also love to learn knitting. I often see women on the subway who knit or crochet and it looks so fun & mediative.

        1. I taught myself how to knit just by reading instructions and watching youtube videos. It’s a lot easier than it looks and it’s really fun. It can get expensive once you get into buying fancy yarns, but it’s a cheap hobby when you’re just starting out.

          1. Me too..youtube videos all the way..I am in the middle of my first project for adults. It is a gift to my sister (scarf, hat and fingerless mittens set, I am done with scarf and almost done with the hat). I feel so proud and happy when I look at it..!!! It engages me so much..I have a list of projects already. It does get expensive when you buy merino wool or cashmere. I want use natural fibres because I am spending hours and hours on making something,I want it to be with something nice which I will wear for years. However, I do knit for babies to donate and I use acrylic yarn which is very cheap (at Michaels, with coupon you can get a 1000 yarn ball for $5).

    2. Do it! There’s a drum school in midtown called Bang! that offers “adult absolute beginners” group classes. Low risk, so much fun!

    3. To speak a second language (preferably French) fluently.

      I was too broke in college to do a study abroad and somehow ended up sucked into the cycle of overly responsible adulthood too soon to just bite the bullet and move to a francophone place. I understand French at a fairly elementary level, but I really don’t speak it well enough to ask more than the basic questions. I also get flustered when I have to answer more than a basic question.

      So, yeah. Life goals, man.

      1. Duolingo has been really helpful for me in re-learning my high school French. I’m not sure it would work for learning a language from scratch because it doesn’t seem to teach the basic grammar rules, but for someone who learned all that stuff but has forgotten it or just wants to learn more vocabulary and practice listening to the language, it’s great.

        1. +1 to pretty much everything here. Duolingo is great, but I agree the it might not be the best for starting to learn a language from scratch.

          If you’re looking for more structure, check if there’s an Alliance Francaise in your city, they have great adult classes.

        2. I started Italian from scratch with doulingo, and it is going pretty well! I don’t know whether the Italian language has less crazy grammar than others, but it worked out ok. As in, a translation exercise used the conjugated verbs, and I briefly googled verb conjugation Italian, and it clicked. Practice is the most important thing anyway!

        3. I want to be fluent in Spanish again. I haven’t been great about doing Duolingo or Rosetta Stone (even though I pay for that!). Ugh, I just need to make time to do it and to watch Spanish programming on TV.

      2. When I was 8 years old, I made a life goal to learn 10 languages.

        Now I’m 30, I speak 2 fluently. Basic skills in 2 others, and minimal skills in another 2. I think I’m running behind, here.

        Also, ballet.

        1. My childhood goal was to learn Italian (I’m part Sicilian) and I took French in high school and college. Dabbled in Spanish when both my kids were studying it in high school. Life goal is to learn enough of all three to be able to function and live in Europe for a while…

      3. This! I really want to achieve fluency in at least one additional language. I’ve made it to the “advanced tourist” level of Spanish, Italian, French and Greek. I can very easily pick up salutations/nouns/adjectives, basic directions and transactions, but fail hard when it comes to verb conjugation and assigning ownership (his, hers, theirs, etc). I took Spanish in school and advanced Italian lessons while living in Italy – same struggle all around. Oh well, at least I can say pineapple in five languages…

    4. Do it! I have a a great aunt who died recently and someone mentioned how all her life she wanted to learn a foreign language, to play the piano and to have kids. She couldn’t have kids but I thought how sad that she didn’t do the other two things that she could have easily done if that was really something she wanted. It really inspired me in a way.

      I’ve always wanted to master French. I can get by very minimally on what I learned in school but I’d love to go to Paris and just feel comfortable having entire conversations with people. I hope to find time for some lessons in the next few years.

      1. That’s sad and also motivating. I don’t want someone to say the same about me someday.

        French is on my list too. My brother in law is French and they are moving to Paris so I expect to have lots of opportunity to practice if I want to. My husband joked that Paris is going to be our new airport hub since he imagines I’m going to want to go visit them so often!

      2. I once cleaned out the apartment of a 59-year-old lady who had a whole row of well-thumbed travel guides. She was planning to start to travel upon retirement at age 60 but got a fast-moving cancer and died. I think of her a lot.

    5. Watching the Olympics makes me want to take up a sport and become an expert. It’s not too late at 31, right??

      1. I love the Olympic stories of people who came to their sport later in life. Which sport would you want to do? I’d love to get back into gymnastics and taking trapeze lessons is on my life list as well.

        1. Volleyball looks really fun and conceivably something I could play without majorly injuring myself (unlike my favorite sport to watch, rugby). I rode horses when I was young and I really miss it; when I have more money one day I’d love to get back into it.

          1. Equestrian sports are the only Olympic sports where men and women compete on an even field (no gender divisions) AND has the oldest average age of competitor (and I believe oldest competitors, period.)

            So, if you have enough time and money… the sky is the limit ;) I miss riding.

      2. Do it!!!

        I took up a new sport in my late 20’s and it’s been really rewarding. Though I will say, on the “expert” front, I would not go in expecting to be the best ever. People who started as kids and have kept at it are almost always going to be better than people who start as adults. But who cares? I enjoy my sport, and I enjoy improving on my own performance. Sponsored or professional level I will never achieve, but I can achieve improvement and enjoyment, and that’s good enough.

      3. Not at all too late! I took up martial arts in my mid-30s and had a good 10-plus-year run including competitions and teaching. Do it!

      4. I’ve been working on my “values based intentions” and one of my habit intentions is “be an athlete.”

      5. I was inspired by watching the olympics to try a new random fun sport. So I bought a groupon for fencing classes! Groupon is a great way to dabble in a new hobby or activity with low commitment.

    6. This reminds me of a Ted Talk by Carol Dweck – “The power of believing that you can improve”. She talks about the power of “yet” that was really influential to me. I find myself adding “yet” to the end of my sentences – it’s really motivating.

      Anyway, things I haven’t learned yet that I want to: coding, yoga teacher training, a foreign language, learn to french braid and fishtail my own hair (seriously)

      Things I haven’t done yet that I want to do: travel for an extended period of time (like 6-12 months), start my own business, go on a white water rafting trip

      I used to have run for higher office on my list, but after a couple of years of being on my city council I think I might be good with politics.

      1. Carol Dweck is awesome. Her book Mindset is great.

        I actually have a really long list of things I want to learn and do. Learning to code is on my list too.

      2. And now I have the Janelle Monae “Power of Yet” video for Sesame Street streaming through my mind!

    7. I realise this probably sounds weird, but I’d like to learn to shoot a gun. Really, I’d like to learn enough to do target (skeet) shooting – it’s just always looked fun, and I feel like knowing how to handle a gun generally is like being able to drive a manual transmission: probably it doesn’t matter, but in a situation where it does, it would be REALLY nice to know.

      I’ve actually signed up for a two-day class at a local firing range. It’s next month, and I am *so* nervous about going.

      1. Good for you signing up for lessons! I have no desire to learn to shoot (or even see a gun in person) but taking steps towards your goal is awesome! I just looked up drum lessons and I think they’ll fit in my schedule. On the verge of signing up.

      2. I think it’s natural to be a little nervous because you’re handling a weapon that could easily cause grievous harm, but I hope you enjoy it!

      3. Learning how to drive manual! I should just buy a cr@ppy little car to force myself to learn but it’s the kind of thing you need to do all the time to be proficient.

      4. I did this two years ago after never touching a gun…it is seriously THE MOST FUN THING EVER! (this is coming from someone with bluer than blue political views…) And yes, also just a good life skill to know in case.

        1. OTOH I did it and learned that I hated it. Either way I crossed it off my bucket list!

        2. Also super blue, and have found shooting fun. Will say it really depends on where you go. If you are in the DC area, I can recommend the PG County Trap & Skeet facility (and there’s an instructor who runs classes out of there that I would also recommend). Definitely be cautious about groupons etc. for random ranges. A loud, indoor range surrounding by macho guys with multiple guns in leg holsters and a parking lot full of vehicles with offensive bumper stickers is not my idea of fun (to be fair, that was a pistol range).

      5. It is really, really fun. And there are a lot of ranges that aren’t filled with that sort of person.

      6. I plan to do this as well! There are some first time shooter classes coming up this fall that I am trying to work into my schedule.

      7. Having grown up with shooting sports in 4-H, I wish everyone knew/learned safe gun handling. Not because I think guns should be forced on anyone, or that everyone should be running around with them, but I’m a firm believer that education reduces gun accidents, increases respect for what a gun can do and provides a platform for youth to learn and understand the safe and ethical (in terms of hunting/wildlife management) use of guns. There really isn’t a reason to be afraid of properly stored/handled/locked guns, but I know some people who are petrified (and have even expressed concerns about going into someone’s household who they know owns guns). While I don’t feel the need to carry or keep a gun in my home, I have great respect for them and know how to handle one if I ever ran across a situation where I needed to.

      8. Shooting sports are a lot of fun. I started at 7 with the Daisy BB gun program, shot varsity rifle in high school, and occasionally take target practice with my law enforcement friends. Be safe, get good ear protectors and shooting glasses, and go for it!!

    8. I started playing drums at 25, and I’m now a lawyer/drummer for two moderately successful local bands. If you want to sign up for lessons, do it!

    9. Do it! If you’re in a beginner class, everyone else will be beginners. You have nothing to lose and you don’t have to continue it if you end up not liking it.

    10. Sydney, you should absolutely take drum lessons. I played in the snare line in college, and missed it so much that at 33 I just started set drum lessons at a local music school. It’s such a nice creative and stress-relieving outlet!

    11. Yes, I want to sing in a cover band on the weekends. I can sing well enough for a cover band and I fantasize about totally rocking out on stage and having a ball with my band mates. I don’t know how to even go about finding a band that wants someone to sing covers though. Otherwise, I would absolutely start trying to get into this.

      1. Oh, I know people who have done this! Two friends got into cover bands that play at bars through their music teachers — pretty much just for fun, but when their teachers noticed that they had some chops (and some ability to commit to obligations) they sort of dropped them in with other, similarly suited music students and BAM, cover band. So maybe poke around the local music schools for flyers? Do people even still do fliers, or is it all online now?

      2. These bands are totally out there. My dad has been playing in cover bands for the last 12 years or so… many different bands, different types of music. Once you find one, you can get plugged into the community. Sometimes you get folks who really want to break into the music biz and are pretty serious, but lots of people are just professionals who are really talented musicians and want to have fun after work and on weekends.

    12. I’d love to take photography lessons. I took a class in college back in the days before digital SLRs. When my kids get older its on my list. Meanwhile I play around taking pictures of them.

      1. +1. Same. I have a DSLR and took a one day class so I know how to use it on non-auto modes and some basic composition rules, but I would love to take a more in-depth class, especially one where a professional critiques my work because I would feel like that would lead to much more dramatic improvement than just listening to some lectures.

        I have free access to Lynda.com through my work (I think lots of libraries offer free access too) and there are lots of classes there. It’s mostly software tutorials (including Lightroom and Photoshop), but there is also some photography stuff that doesn’t have to do with software, like lighting and composition.

        1. Thanks for the note about Lynda! My library has access too. I never knew.

      2. Are you familiar with Beryl Ayn Young? She has online classes that are specifically targeted to busy moms. Maybe that’s a way you can start sooner rather than later?

    13. I have an lawyer friend who has an amazing life in the Bay Area working a government job with set hours and loves learning new things. She is so happy, and interesting.

      Her first activity was drum lessons! Loved it. She also plays two other instruments.

      Then she did painting, knitting, some sort of dancing….., joined a book group, skiing, some sort of hiking group, etc…

      It is so easy these days to do it. Just decide, and go for it.

    14. Learn how to play bagpipes! It has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember. As soon as I finish my CFA exams, I’m going to find a spot to take lessons. Hopefully somewhere that is sound-proofed! I’m sure learner-bagpipes probably sound awful :)

      1. That’s a goal I’ve never heard before! What a fun idea! Do you remember what sparked your interest?

    15. I’ve always wanted to write a novel about my grandmother’s life. I don’t have any journals or diaries, or any primary resources left living – so I’ve been too daunted to try.

      Like others have said – I’d really love to actually become fluent in a foreign language. DH’s family is from Ecuador, so Spanish is top of my list, but I’d also like to learn French. I’d also love to have some reading comprehension in Latin, Greek and Hebrew. I’ve been working on my Spanish on Duolingo, but I’m one step forward, one step back because I’m inconsistent.

      And I’d love to learn to paint or draw. I’ve never been any good, and never felt brave enough to sign up for lessons.

      And I’d like to pull out my very rusty high school tennis skills and get involved in a racket club or something.

      You know, when I have all the free time and expendable income for such things.

      1. Your first item is so sweet. I’ve been tracing my genealogy and it’s amazing what exists out there. Could you start by interviewing your parent and aunts and uncles about her?

        1. I’ve tried – and have a bit of information from my aunt. My mom was a surprise when my grandmother was 39, consequently my aunts and uncles are old enough to be my grandparents (in their early 80s); their memories aren’t as great as they once were.

          But she was such an incredible woman; she grew up in a very strict household and to escape that, she eloped with my grandfather right at the start of the Great Depression. Their first apartment had three pieces of furniture – a bed, a table and a chair. They moved the table to the bedside so they could eat dinner together. She survived the loss of a child, worked a job to help with her anxiety issues (in the 30s when women didn’t do that), and the loss of her husband. The cultural and technological changes she experienced are remarkable. She was smart, and interested in politics, and read philosophy for fun (I’m not even sure she finished high school). I would give anything for her diary as a young woman.

          1. Do you know the names of any of her friends? Maybe you could track down their descendants. They might have pictures or even journals that mention her.

          2. That is possibly something I could get from my mom or aunt. That’s a good thought!

    16. Play piano, learn a foreign language, and become a better photographer come to mind immediately. I’d also like to learn to play tennis or golf, but I took tennis lessons with a friend a few years ago and I was legitimately terrible. I’m one of those perfectionist, Type A people who only likes to do things I excel at, so it’s hard for me to be new to something and struggle with it in the beginning as I’m learning, even though that’s perfectly normal. I’m slowly getting over that as I get older, fortunately.

  5. I’ve value some help from the suit wearing and Nordstrom wizards out there! I’m moving from a part of the country where no one wears a suit to DC, where I will be in an office where everyone wears a suit, everyday. I start my job in mid-Sept, but will be out there next week for a meeting. In anticipation of next week’s meeting, I ordered a Classiques Entier suit from Nordstrom which came yesterday (navy suit called “siena”). I think it fits well, but not fantastically. I say I think because I’m realizing I have no idea what to actually look for in a suit to evaluate if it fits well. (Moreover, I have no sense of what looks like “interview suit from 15 years ago” vs “classy, elegant, and current”.)
    Can I take this suit to Nordstrom when I am in DC and ask the saleswomen for help and get alterations if I need them?
    If you needed a new wardrobe of suits in DC, what would you do? Should I set up time with a Nordstrom stylist? Is there another place that’s better for suit buying in DC? From my limited experience, I’d say I tend to fit Ann Taylor, Elie Tahari, and Classiques Entier.

    1. I like the wool suiting from Banana Republic and have a black and grey jacket / pants / skirt. I like that they line their wool pants.

      I take a 4P jacket and 6 pants in whichever cut the curvy fit ones are named in a given year. They all fit off the rack on me except for hemming (and recently, taking in the skirt waists to better taper, but this is common to most of my skirts, even The Skirt). For me, they fit well. I’m 5-4 with a short torso, so it’s most important that this fit perfectly off the rack b/c jacket tailoring is expensive and not likely to get perfect results, but pants hemming is easy and cheap and always goes well for me.

    2. A tailor is your friend! A good tailor can tell you exactly how a suit SHOULD fit (because when you’re used to business casual clothes, a properly fitting suit can be quite a shift) and make a moderate quality suit look like a million bucks.

      1. +1 Get a real tailor. This may vary by location, and I have zero experience with DC-area Nordstroms, but ime Nordie’s tailors are great for things like hemming pants or shortening the arms of a jacket but not much else. They a) flat out won’t do more complex tailoring, and b) don’t give you much input on what tailoring you SHOULD get, they just ask you what you want. Which requires you to know what you want.

        For example, I got that bright blue Hugo Boss suit at the NAS that was discussed a bit on here. The jacket was sort of wompy; I sized up to get it to fit through the bust and shoulders but the shoulder pads themselves stuck out way too far, like a linebacker. Nordie’s said that the fix I wanted was impossible. I took it to my tailor and he saw what was wrong right away, I didn’t even have to explain it to him. Now I have a gorgeous jacket that I would’ve given up on if I’d trusted the Nordie’s tailors.

        1. +1. Nordies is great for basic stuff, like hemming, but to nip in the waist or other fixes–as well as expertise on what NEEDS to be done–go to an outside professional

          1. Thanks – that’s really good to know. I’ll make sure to take my options by a “real” tailor. Glad you got that Hugo Boss suit to work! It’s gorgeous:-)

        2. +1 on the tailor.

          I always size up on my skirts so they fit my waist and have them taken in at the hips. I have like, 2 out of a dozen for which I didn’t have to do this. This isn’t the cheapest or the easiest alteration, but my tailor does an excellent job and it’s worth it to have clothes that fit. I always go to her and just put something on and then she just starts pinning where it doesn’t fit right.

        3. It may vary on the tailor, but I’ve had Nordstrom (Pentagon City) tailors do much more than just simple hems.

    3. Go to Nordstrom and get a stylist! They are free and I’ve never felt any pressure from mine to purchase anything. If you get a CC you get a specific $$ of alterations for free, which are done there. It’s seamless and a great way to get a few great fitting suits for a new job. Congrats!

      1. I’m glad to know they really are free. I think someone holding my hand through this process could be really really valuable. Thanks:-)

    4. I have similar problems.

      My Nordstrom stylist did not recommend appropriate clothes for me. Like, she brought me long flow-y tops and long skirts and …. skinny jeans, when I wanted work appropriate clothes for my job in a hospital. I thought she would evaluate my body shape to help recommend lines/flattering cuts. She did not. She just said “you’re normal!”. No measurements. I’m actually an extreme pair shape with no boobs and 2-3 sizes larger on the bottom.

      So Nordstrom’s was just… not good. The one pair of pants she convinced me to buy (which were too trendy for work) was taken in too much at the waist by the Nordstrom tailor and didn’t fit after that.

      Do not trust the Nordstrom tailor for more than basic hemming. I would never trust them to tailor an expensive suit jacket, for example. And make sure you have the shoes with you that you will wear if they hem for you right there, or else it wont be in the right place.

      If possible, get a rec for a specific Nordstrom stylist from a friend, or look for one from one of the departments that trends “older”/more conservative if you want biz formal recs. I was so ?nervous/embarrassed going in to meet with the stylist (and felt pressure to buy outside of my comfort zone….) that I may not have properly got my stylist to focus on my real needs.

      Do you have a stylish friend you trust? Maybe bring them as you meet with the stylist?

      I have two tailors I use. One for cheaper/easy fixes, and my adorable old Italian man who is excellent for more complex alterations. Neither of them will recommend what looks right in a way I can trust. In fact, the excellent Italian man just shrugs his shoulders and says “It’s what YOU want!”. Hems vary so much depending upon your body shape/height/shoes, who the h3ll knows where a waist is supposed to be these days, arm lengths also vary depending on your preference and whether you are short/long waisted, the amount of form/fitting tailoring is very personal in preference etc… and it matters what type of underwear/shapewear you are wearing.

      At least these are the issues for me…. an extreme pear with a very small high waist, where nothing fits me off the rack.

      1. I had a similar experience with a Nordstrom shopper. I gave her a specific list of what I was looking for, and warned her of things that did not look good on me. She brought me almost nothing of what I was looking for and everything that I told her didn’t work for me. She hadn’t remembered wrong – as I tried it on she remarked that I really was right that shapeless sack dresses and neon colors looked awful on me.

        I’d specifically asked for a black blazer. She said she was only able to find one in the store. I later found exactly the blazer I was looking for, hanging about 30 feet from the personal shopping area.

        She also tried to convince me that a super-form-fitting slinky black dress was totally appropriate for a lawyer in a business formal DC office, because “Claire Underwood would wear it.”

        Do not recommend.

        1. Yes – it is a big problem if they do not have your size in stock. My stylist only brought in full price, newest fashion selections for me to try. There are also a lot of sub-departments and she only brought in stuff from her sub-department. After I finished with her, I walked to other departments and found a few suitable things, and even a couple on sale racks, and realized I should have chosen a different sub-department to work with.

    5. I’ve had better luck with Saks tailors — I agree with the commenters that say Nordstrom is fine for basic alterations, but for jackets and dresses that need extensive alterations I trust Saks in a way that I don’t trust Nordies. I also found the one time I had a Nordstrom stylist that she insisted on clothing that wouldn’t work in my environment — “oh, you can roll up the sleeves on this jacket to show the striped lining!” Nope. I’ve had better luck just with some of the regular saleswomen.

      And Anonymous@10:00 am, I know exactly what you mean about the wompy-ness of that Hugo Boss jacket. It went back, I couldn’t be bothered with tailoring it. I ended up with an Elie Tahari suit with alterations from Saks –boring black, but oh well! Glad it worked out for you.

  6. Does anyone know if a St. John jacket can be shortened by a tailor? I have my eye on a long one and I need to make it hip length. There’s no returns, so I’m trying to be careful ….

    1. Can you bring pictures of the jacket to the tailor for a consult? I would take a few shots, including close-ups of the knit and the way the hem is finished.

    2. My good tailor would say no. Will be expensive. May not get the result you want. May fray in a few years. Why risk it?

    3. I would buy a St. John priced jacket just to get it shortened. Those things are designed to be as they are, and you might ruin the drape/shape. I would wait until you find the perfect jacket that won’t require extensive tailoring. I own a couple, so I don’t object to the price point itself, but when I buy a $500+ jacket, it should be near perfect.

      2. I get $500 jackets from Hugo Boss short and all the time and it works great. It really depends on what you’re buying.

    4. It depends on the placement of the pockets and buttons and other details of the jacket. Shortening the length can make the rest of the jacket look out of proportion. I’ve tried to do this with suit jackets before but it just ends up looking weird.

  7. Any suggestions for travel destinations in January that are zika free as a last hurrah before having kids? We have about a week or ten days and are willing to take a long flight. I’d prefer warm weather but am open to anything. It seems January isn’t recommended for travel anywhere.

    1. Well, the southern hemisphere would be warm. New Zealand is great if you’re up for that long of a flight. Friends went in February and loved it. I don’t think they were in bikinis but the weather was definitely warm enough for dresses and t-shirts. Southeast Asia is also warm that time of year although January is peak season there and that brings crowds and high (for the area) prices. It would still be cheaper than NZ, which is really expensive no matter when you go.

    3. Thailand or Tahiti

      Hot, gorgeous and hard to get to /travel around with small kids

        1. There was a big outbreak there a few years ago but there is none there currently. Obviously OP would need to keep an eye on it, because it could change, but at the moment it’s no riskier than Canada or Thailand or New Zealand or anywhere else that’s Zika free.

      1. That was high on my list, but it looks like it is cold and rainy during January. Did you have a different experience?

        1. I did not go in January but I did visit in October. It was sweater weather in the mountains and hot in Marrakech and Fes.

        2. I went to Marrakech and Casablanca a few years ago for 2 weeks in January and the weather was great. Sunny, maybe 60-70’s. I don’t think it rained at all when I was there.

  8. Working extra hours to cover for a mom. Interesting article on NYmag about this issue. Wondered what Corporette readers would think.

    http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/08/ask-a-boss-i-work-extra-since-i-dont-have-kids.html

    In a nutshell, the OP is asking how to address situation where she is being forced to work extra hours to cover for a co-worker who is a new mom. There are two competing interests here: The company agreed to give new mom a flexible work schedule, and this country should do a better job of supporting working moms. But, the burden of giving the new mom a flexible schedule is falling on co-workers who have to work extra hours and do more work, but with no increase in pay. Finally, I have a friend in this situation who is big law lawyer (so very little control over her personal time) and she is miserable because she doesn’t think she can point out all the times she has had to work overnight and weekends to cover for a new mom without it being political suicide. Do you think companies are doing a good job of supporting moms without extracting the costs of that support from other employees? Do you feel unfairly dumped on? Do you think we can complain about being dumped on without detracting from the fact that we otherwise support working mothers?

    2. Flexible schedule means you’re doing the same amount of work, just at different times (so you can go do pickup/carpool, whatever else).

      It doesn’t mean that one person goes part-time without being replaced.

      The company is not staffing well here, not communicating expectations.

      1. +1

        Also, I’m not in big law, but my understanding is that firms generally structure their bonuses around how many hours you bill. So, OP, your friend likely actually _is_ getting an increase in pay for the extra hours she’s working. If she actually fees completely unable to communicate with her superiors about how well she’s able to manage her current workload, she should lateral. I don’t think it should be political suicide to say “I am struggling to manage my workload.” In my opinion it’s absolutely unnecessary for that conversation to include “so-and-so isn’t holding up her end here”; it should just be about what you can and cannot handle. If she can’t have that conversation, she should quit.

        1. This is not true at big law firms. Bonuses are lock step for associates, although some firms have a threshold number of hours you need to meet to get a bonus at all.

        2. This is not correct. At my firm, a fifth year billing an extra 500 hours over target gets something like $5K extra in bonus. After taxes, I assure you I’d rather have my 500 hour back than less-than-minimum wage. A fifth year billing an extra 490 hours gets $0 extra.

        3. Fair enough — you don’t get paid enough more to make it worth it to you.

          But my other point stands — a conversation about your workload shouldn’t have to include any comments about other people not performing the way they should, and you should be able to have one without it being any kind of “suicide.” If you can’t, quit.

          1. The issue isn’t other people not performing the way they should, it’s the company not getting staffing under control. (Not saying we disagree, just elaborating on that point.)

    3. I saw this question too. There seemed to be many factors at play. Everyone wanted to give the new mom more flexibility. Excellent. Since the nature of their work required staffing at certain times, covering for events and such, the colleague had to do more of these things than before, due to the limited availability of new mom. But the colleague was not relieved from other job duties to balance this out. The workload was redistributed, but unevenly. To me, increased flexibility is not the same as reduced workload (which of course should be an option for new parents, it just is a different thing).
      Also, new mom changed agreed-upon arrangements by going directly to the manager. This seemed to go on for quite a while. I believe with proper communication on all sides, increased flexibility for one staff member should be possible without stressing out the colleagues.

    4. The problem is that there is no amorphous entity to bear these costs: it is always real, live people. It’s co-workers who take on more work and lose flexibility; it’s a company that hires someone else and then has less money for bonuses; or it’s a company that hires on a replacement at a dramatically reduced pay level. (I remember interviewing for a temp to maybe perm maternity leave coverage position, and the pay was literally *half* of what I had been making before.)

      You can’t pay someone the same amount to do less work without then paying other people less to do more.

      That doesn’t mean that “we” shouldn’t support new moms, but it does mean that *any* policy about benefits for moms should be made with a full understanding of exactly who bears those costs.

      1. +1
        Signed someone whose office has averaged 20% gone on maternity leave at any given time for the last two years

  9. Planning a long weekend in Puerto Rico in a couple weeks to lay by the pool and relax for a few days. I see now though that the US declared an emergency there because of Zika. If I am not planning on TTC should I have any concerns?

    1. I’m going to PR for a week and the end of the month will use bug spray, but otherwise don’t really have any concerns. Very much not TTC.

      Has anyone used those mosquito repellent bracelets before?

      1. Are we sure? Like – how do we know? Have we had people exposed to Zika and then get pregnant later?

        I am considering a similar vacay and don’t plan to have kittens for five years, but I feel like there’s a lack of information about long term effects.

        1. Yes, scientists are absolutely sure Zika leaves your bloodstream quickly and it can’t hurt a baby once you no longer have the virus. Abstaining from travel to Zika areas for five years before TTC is insane. CDC recommendations are overly cautious and no recommendation has come close to suggesting there could be any effects to an unborn baby conceived five years after Zika exposure. The most I’ve heard is to wait six months, but that’s for men because there’s evidence it can live in $perm for that long. Your hypothetical unborn baby is more likely to be killed or injured by literally a million other things than that you went to Puerto Rico for a week five years before conception. If you’re really paranoid, you can cover yourself in DEET, which women who are pregnant can’t use without risk, and you probably won’t even get a single mosquito bite.

          1. That was unnecessarily mean. We just found out this week that it can last in sperm for 6 months. I don’t think there are a large number of non-Ugandans who have been infected 5 years out, so it’s not insane to ask. Also I’m not worried about the unborn baby being dead, I’m worried about microcephaly. And frankly guillan-barre, for me, as well.

          2. But if you have an actual scientific answer of a longitudinal study of people being infected and then getting pregnant later (maybe even now, folks in the southern hemisphere who had zika and are now having post-zika pregnancies with no risks?) I’d love to read them.

    3. I’m going to Puerto Rico for a week at the end of the month and am not worried about it. I’ll use bug spray and am very much not TTC.

      Has anyone had any luck with those mosquito repellent bracelets?

      1. Whoops sorry, thought I had accidentally erased the first comment before submitting the second!

      2. I’m in Florida and am delicious to mosquitos. The only thing that works for me is 100% deet spray (which is greasy and gross, but the only thing that works)

        I tried the bracelets, and while they didn’t bite my arms, they bit the rest of me

        1. Thanks for the review! I’ll just grab some spray when I get in (trying to avoid checking a bag).

    4. I was in Puerto Rico for 10 days last February, right at the beginning of the Zika scares when it was still focused there. I saw 1 mosquito in those 10 days (and am normally also delicious to mosquitoes)and we went hiking through the rain forest and spent 5 days on Vieques. I brought along the lemon euculyptus repellent that the CDC was recommending at the time as the best non-deet option.

      So, in short, have an amazing time!

      1. Also going to Vieques for a few days, have never been before. Was it amazing?

        And lemon eucalyptus repellent sounds lovely!

        1. it was amazing. At one point we were sitting on a beach and could see no other people. Definitely get a rental jeep at least for a day to go check out the more remote beaches. The bio-bay kayak tour was literally one of the coolest things I’ve done in my life. Also, we went with low expectation food wise, and were blown away by how delicious and fresh everything was.

          I rarely visit the same place twice, but this is on the list of places I will definitely return to.

          1. Yay I’m glad I made a good pick! Bio bay was the original draw, something I’ve wanted to see forever, so fingers crossed for good weather. Rental Jeep is a great recommendation, would never have thought of that, thanks so much!

        2. We were in Vieques in January and I second these comments – it was our favorite vacation ever (even better than our insanely expensive honeymoon!). Not sure if you’re staying at the W or one of the small B&Bs, but the W is amazing. Also, she’s right that the food was amazing. And off-roading in the jeeps was amazing. Be careful which beaches you decide to go to, as some of them will lead you very deep into the jungle and we almost got stuck in some mud…with no cell service…just my husband and pregnant me (who would have been no help getting us unstuck). Ask at your hotel about which beaches are worth it. But you’ll have an amazing time!

  10. I will be going from working in the office 100% of the time to working from home 100% of the time (due to a geographic relocation and keeping my same job). Any tips for making this a smooth transition and a successful set-up? I’ve never worked from home before except for the odd “need to be home for the repairman” afternoon, so I’d appreciate any and all advice. Thanks!

    1. I worked from home for 2 1/2 years, and I had to stop. To be successful, make sure you have a dedicated office space. Don’t work beyond your typical hours. Its so easy to start working 8 am-8 pm just because you’re there. When its time to stop, stop. It caused problems with my husband because he’d want to eat dinner, and I’d want to keep working. Make sure you have a good printer and scanner/all in one! Consider the background if you’re doing videocalls.

      1. +1; a headset is a real help for conference calls/video calls/etc. It minimizes the background while keeping me clear. I got a cheap one off Amazon for like $10 that is great.

        Also, a hotspot. All it took was one day for my internet to go down and I had an essential conference call to make, and I found out their value. I got one added to my TMobile plan and it’s a godsend (and I can work anywhere with it, including the beach)

      2. I’m about to do this – can you advise on a great printer/scanner? I have very little technical expertise, but having a good, fast machine will be essential to the work I’m doing. Thanks.

        1. I have the Canon MG7720 and I love it (as much as someone can love a printer). It’s wireless and much smaller than other printer/scanner/copiers, so it takes up a lot less space. It can print from an iPad, iphone, Google docs, can print CD labels and it’s fast and easy to setup (even though I am technologically the worst).

          It also comes in gold, so added (vain) bonus. Whatevs, my office is the stereotypical white and gold Pinterest nightmare every blogger has :)

    2. Keep a schedule and shut the door. It can be soooo easy to get distracted by a sink full of dishes, laundry that needs to be done, etc. If you don’t keep a schedule for yourself, the day can get away from you.

      I keep myself on a strict routine, including getting up and getting dressed for the day with full makeup; that may sound ridiculous, but the days where I hung out in my yoga pants, I found I was more easily distracted, like I didn’t take it as seriously. Going through the motions of getting ready puts me in work mode.

      That said, DO give yourself some breaks. I take short walks throughout the day with my dog to get some fresh air and space from my desk; I usually come back refreshed and ready to go.

      Also, headphones are your friend. It helps me block out noise from the street, my neighbors, or god knows what my dog is doing so I can focus. I put on some instrumental music and can zone in on my work.

      1. KT, there is nothing ridiculous about your routine. I started working FT from home about 18 months ago. I get up, shower, do my hair and put on full makeup (there may still be yoga pants involved on occasion) but I have to be “ready” before working hours. I am so grateful to be working at home after years of commuting. If I ever feel lazy, I remind myself of the commuting life and freezing office and re-focus.

        I also agree with you on short breaks. I don’t hesitate to throw in laundry or empty the dishwasher – I figure it’s one of the perks. I also don’t necessarily shut down when I probably should. Maybe I will eventually, but I am stll in the “so grateful” mode, so if I have to answer some emails at night I don’t mind.

        I do wonder if I am getting weird from lack of human contact. I occasionally have to head back into the world for meetings with colleagues. I have to think hard to remember how to dress professionally (oh yeah! I need shapewear with this dress!) and wonder if I am talking too much. I am also hungry for professional gossip.

        Speaking of hungry, it took a while for me to stop snacking incessantly.

        1. Yes to the hotspot and to the dedicated office space, although I move around. I do have a dedicated office, but when the kids are at school I will often sit in my sunny kitchen.

        2. HA Yes, the snacking is why I keep my door shut, so I can’t see the kitchen and get ideas.

          I do deliberately make myself go out in public every day, even if it’s just taking my dog to the park or stopping at the coffee shop so I keep being able to interact with humans.

        3. Personal pet peeve here – you don’t *need* shapewear to look professionally dressed. You do you and I don’t care one bit if you want to wear it to feel more attractive and polished. But, lack of tone does not equal unprofessional.

          2. Blonde Lawyer, you are correct and I did not mean to suggest otherwise. In certain of my dresses, I feel more confident with a smoothing garment underneath. I would never dictate that to anyone else.

        4. On her work-from-home days, my roommate REALLY REALLY REALLY wants me to get home from work asap so she has human contact. For extroverted people, I think working from home can be difficult.

    3. Be proactive about planning trips away from the house – walks, lunch with friends, midday errands, an exercise class. I’m on the introvert-extrovert border.

      Over the fall-winter-spring, I’d take long walks over lunch or at the end of the day. The summer heat and humidity have been terrible, so I’ve been inside/home a lot more and really miss the change of scenery. I do try to get to a Pilates class 2-3 times a week for exercise/a change of scenery/other people, but on days that’s not possible and I end up at a grocery store or coffee shop, I feel sorry for the cashier/barista who is on the receiving end of my mindless chatting.

      1. During bar prep, I used Themis and live alone. So, no in-person classes. One day in mid-July, I went to grab lunch somewhere and just listened to other people having real human conversations about non-bar-prep things and then got back to my car and burst into “I hate this and other people aren’t having to go through this stupid THING!” tears. I’m very introverted but having almost NO in-person interaction for those two months was BRUTAL.

    4. I scheduled my two work from home days on the days when I have a regular evening activity, forcing me to leave the house.

  11. How do people pick a comfortable pillow? I hate my pillow. I’ve bought 3 pillows in the last year, and I hate them all. This is getting expensive and frustrating.

    I wake up with a stiff neck. I’ve seen a chiropractor, and the stiffness goes away, so its definitely how I sleep. I find myself rolling my head forward and side to side for a few hours every morning, and its so uncomfortable.

    I sleep on my stomach (yes, I know its bad) or on my side. I like a firm pillow. I sleep with 1 pillow. Suggestions for amazing pillows, brands, techniques to pick one (besides holding them to your head in a store)?

    I don’t like down because it sinks in. I have a memory foam one right now.

    1. My husband loves this “Pillo 1” thing, and it seems to be pretty good for neck issues.

      I’m still looking for my unicorn pillow. It has to be down, but I want something like down with a foam core that won’t sink all the way.

    2. I sleep on my stomach too, and I picked out a pillow that’s specifically for stomach sleepers. It said on the label. It’s very thin and quite soft. You can’t have anything too thick or hard for stomach sleeping, it will crane your neck into an uncomfortable position.

    4. I was buying fancy organic cotton and latex pillows for the same problem and they all made it worse. I just picked up a pillow for stomach sleepers from Target for like $12 and haven’t slept this well in three years.

    5. I order from Amazon prime, try out the pillow, and return as necessary. I am a side sleeper and prefer one firm pillow. I’ve okay with the Relax Home Poly Fiber Filled Bamboo Cover Queen Pillow for Hypoallergenic and Dust Mite Resistant but it is a little high. I had to return the Perfect Fit Extra Firm Density Standard Size 233 Thread-Count Quilted Sidewall Pillow 2 Pack, White – maybe the medium or firm density would have been better.

        2. Yep, with a case on. You can even leave it in the plastic if you like and just throw a case or bedsheet on top of it if you feel like. How else are you supposed to know?

    6. You need a pillow for stomach sleepers- they all have labels on them now. Sorry, but that is NOT a memoryfoam or a firm pillow but something softer and thinner, otherwise you are bending your neck in a way it should not bend.

      1. I wonder if her problem is that it’s either side or stomach though? Because for side you want a pretty firm, high pillow to cradle your neck, but you want the opposite for stomach.

        1. I missed that she does both. So do I, so I have a down pillow from Bloomingdales that I LOVE because it moves– doesn’t crook my neck on my stomach and it is plenty of comfortable support on my side (as well as on the rare occasion I sleep on my back). Go someplace like BBB, Bloomingdales, Target, etc. that has a lot of them and will have labels. Think about comfortable hotel stays, etc. and what those pillows were like and test them out at the store. Firm, memoryfoam pillows to me feel like bricks. I also feel they are made for large men who have more room from between neck to their arm (if sleeping on their side) or more room from the base of their shoulders to the nape of their neck (for back sleepers) – in other words, the structure of the memoryfoams feel like they don’t ‘fit’. Case in point- I used to crawl over to my SO’s pillow and snuggle with him, sharing his pillow. Ever since he switched from one that matches mine to a memoryfoam, I never share his pillow because it is like sleeping with my head on a step.

    7. I like to sleep on my stomach too. But someone here suggested rolling up a towel instead of using a pillow at all. I switched and now try to sleep on my back. It is so much better, my sleep and my neck in the morning.

    8. I like cheap “firm” pillows from JCP or Walmart, just know they only last 3-4 months

  12. No matter how early I go to bed or how much I want my morning to run more smoothly, I can never seem to get up when my alarm goes off. Instead I hit snooze until I actually HAVE to get up. I often set my alarm for 6 or 6:30 and hit snooze every five minutes until 7:45. It’s a really bad habit that I can’t seem to get out of. How do I stop this?? Tips?

    1. First, how do you feel the rest of the day? are you drowsy? You may not be getting enough quality sleep–maybe you grind your teeth, have sleep apnea, or wake up several times a night without realizing it. A sleep study, or even just a sleep tracking app, can help.

      Second, put your alarm clock on the other side of the room. My brother is the WORST at getting up, so I got him Clocky; when it goes off, it jumps off his desk and RUNS around the room, so he has to chase it to turn it off (and that sucker is loud). By the time he catches it, he’s wide awake.

      Or, get a puppy (or lizard, if you’re me). Then they’ll wake you up whether you want to or not.

      But really, why are you setting it for so much earlier than you need to get up? You’ve sort of trained your body to do this now, because it’s used to 1.5 hours of slowly waking up. Why not just set it for 7:30?

      1. OH! Also, try downloading the Rock Clock!

        I am the worst morning person, but somehow, Dwayne Johnson singing to me and scolding me for sleeping in wakes me up feeling much peppier :)

          2. The Rock Clock is real and it is magical.

            He literally sings “Good Morning Sunshine” (as one of the options)

      2. My ex-boyfriend had a Clocky. It still didn’t get him out of bed. Probably one of the top ten reasons he’s my ex-boyfriend.

        3. See, people tell me to get the Clocky but I think I’d just let it roam around and not give a flying f0ck that it’s blaring.

          1. I had clocky. I found a way to quickly and painlessly shut it up without getting out of bed. Argh

      3. Good suggestions. Especially like the lizard one as I am an environmental scientist/reptile specialist. But will probably try the across the room trick first!

        1. My lizard was an outstanding wakeup specialist. Nothing like a monitor face and flicking tongue to start the day!

          1. I’m pretty sure finding a 4-foot monitor lizard staring at me first thing in the morning would cause me to literally leap out of bed.

    3. I read somewhere about an alarm clock that’s supposed to wake you up at the ideal point in your REM cycle. I haven’t used it but maybe someone here can comment?

      1. I use it! It’s an app called “Sleep Time” by Azumio. I really like it; you tell it you want to wake up at 7:45 and that it can wake you up starting 10, 20, or 30 minutes before. Oddly, I *think* the iphone version takes the approach of “if you’re in an REM sleep I should start waking you up now to make sure you’re really awake at 7:45” and the android version says “If you’re in light sleep I’ll wake you up now so you can get a quick workout in before work, if you’re in REM sleep I’ll let you sleep until the last possible moment”. I was expecting the later, but my iphone definitely seems to do the former. At any rate, it’s been a great thing for me. I also tend to be better at waking up because I’m curious to look at see my sleep pattern for the previous night! And, it collects data so you can do a monthly report to gather insight into your sleep habits. Highly recommend.

      2. There are also watches that do this, with a vibrating and/or sound alarm. I’m a terrible snooze button abuser (at least as bad as the OP) but benefit a lot from REM tracking.

      3. I used the Sleep Cycle app for this–you give it a window ending in the time you NEED to be awake and it goes off during that time. It goes on the bed/under a pillow/similar to track your sleep patterns. It’s sort of great to track what makes you sleep well or not (I used alcohol/exercise/PM coffee, but you can enter your own), and see how long you’re sleeping or how long it takes you to get to sleep. I retired it when my partner moved in, but now that i’m talking about it I might try it again and see if it can differentiate between us.

        1. I’ve used SleepCycle with a partner in the same bed (king size, though) and it hasn’t had a problem telling who’s who. Just put it right under your pillow.

      1. Not OP, but I have a similar schedule. I set my alarm clock at 6 and 6:30 because I want to work out in the morning. I also have this pipe dream of enjoying a luxuriously laid back morning with music playing and coffee and birds chirping instead of my usual 30 minute panicked dash out the door with wet hair, half my makeup on, and mismatched shoes.

        1. OP here and YES. You’ve hit the nail right on the head. I’m trying to actually make use of the morning hours that I currently snooze away. I can make 745 work as a wake up time, but I’m harried by time I get to the office and need to spend the first half hour coming alive. I’d rather do that at home but my body doesn’t seem to agree.

          1. Right, so break the snooze habit first. By setting your alarm at the time you actually need to get up. Get used to it. Do it for a month. Then set it a little bit earlier.

            And go to bed earlier. Like, be in bed at 9:45. Turn the lights out at 10.

    5. I definitely agree about placing your alarm across the room. Also, right before you go to bed, drink a lot of water. I can’t fall back asleep if I need to use the bathroom.

    6. Do you sleep with a partner? I was a champion snoozer for all my life until I met my husband. He has trouble falling back asleep if I don’t get up right away when my alarm goes off and doesn’t have to get up until about 2 hours after me. Trying not to interrupt his sleep was literally the only thing that ever worked for me. Maybe your partner could spread out in the bed when your alarm goes off so there’s no room for you to stay and hit snooze.

    7. I’ve never used one but I’ve heard of alarm clocks that wake you up slowly by turning the lights on slowly — it sounds to me like this might be what you need. It sounds like you’re someone who might need awhile to wake up instead of being yanked out of sleep by a blaring alarm.

        1. This one of the things that my husband is getting me for my birthday next month, and I’m so excited for it.

          2. Same as WildKitten. I’d turn over so the light wasn’t in my eyes and fall back asleep. And the beeping was very mellow and very, very ignorable.
            I turn on my alarm, and then put my phone in the other room with a VERY LOUD, blaring alarm on. Sometimes I use Alarmy, which makes you shake your phone, or take a picture of somethings in your apartment (for me, I used frames in my bathroom in the hopes it would propel me to get in the shower) or do 5-10 math problems. Still doesn’t always work, and doesn’t work AT ALL if I’m sleep-deprived, so I try to get 9-10 hours a night, cut down on caffeine, and keep my phone in the other room.

      2. I’ve got one. The light is not bad, but I hate the alarm settings. I’m such a heavy sleeper and I find the alarms are all too “peaceful” for me, so I still use my cell phone (on the opposite side of my bedroom) as a backup. My old system of floor lamp on a timer + cheap old alarm clock was just as good and cheaper, in my opinion.

        OP, I’m a super heavy sleeper too. I find that the bright light and multiple alarms in different spots of my bedroom is the only thing that works for me.

        1. Interesting. I’m the opposite and need a peaceful alarm. If it is too jarring I just get mad and want to go back to sleep!

    8. So, I am terrible about this. Seriously terrible. And I felt awful for my blaring alarm annoying my very nice roommates that don’t complain. So I got this alarm clock that literally shakes the entire bed, it’s so scary. Definitely wakes you up. I snooze it but still, it’s very annoying to stay asleep. It’s the Sonic Alert SBH400ss Sweetheart Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker.

    9. I used to have a similar problem, and three things helped me. First is going to bed earlier – like a good 30-60 minutes before I would otherwise. If you want to get up an hour earlier, you have to go to bed earlier or it’s just natural that your body will rebel.

      Second, drinking a ton of water before bed, and then when you get up to go to the bathroom anytime close to your wake-up time, STAY UP.

      Third – and I know this sounds like a ton of woo, but bear with me – I did some visualization exercises before I went to bed about what I was going to do with that time in the morning. How productive I was going to be! The specific tasks I wanted to accomplish, and how getting up early would benefit me. I think by mentally committing to it for 5-10 minutes right before bed, I was more likely to think about those benefits when the alarm went off and I would follow through.

      Good luck!

      1. Oh. I also changed the “label” on my iphone alarm settings to say things like GET THE F UP ALREADY so I would see it when the alarm went off.

    10. Have you always been a morning snoozer? I was an early riser for all of my teens and early 20s. Then as I rolled into my 30s I started hitting the snooze more and more.

      I actually had some medical conditions that were contributing to my fatigue, including hormone imbalances, thyroid issues and low vitamin D. I’ve been working on getting them straightened out and I’m slowly getting back to being a morning person.

      Especially if your fatigue continues throughout the day, or you feel like you’re going to bed at a reasonable hour and you’re still tired, I’d have some panels run to make sure you’re not battling anything physiological.

      1. No, until the past year or so I’ve always been a very early riser. Now I feel magnetically attached to my pillow in the morning. I suspect I have some borderline depression going on that seems to really affect me as I try to wake up. Once I’m up I’m fine.

        1. To add to this, I feel like I would generally function a lot better if I could make more “me” time or get more exercise. But the best chance for me to do that uninterrupted is before work and I’m having trouble making it happen.

        2. The depression factor rings true for me. All three of my conditions have depression as a symptom, and what I know now is that while life is challenging for me at the moment, I didn’t have true depression but simply lacked the physical resources to cope well with the challenges I’m facing.

          Addressing the depression cause might really help with the snooze button matter. No use fighting against your body/mind not working properly.

  13. Can anyone comment on getting a Subaru Impreza versus the Outback? I saw there was a thread the other day where someone was asking about Imprezas and someone else responded that the Outback is a more comfortable ride. I was also considering an Impreza, but what makes the Outback more comfortable? We want to get just one car to suit basically all our needs (local and skiing 4-5 hours away for the most part) and I’d like to really research and test drive the right ones. TIA!

    1. I have an Impreza and am happy with it except for two things: 1) It is incredibly noisy, which is fatiguing during road trips and my long commute. 2) It mysteriously consumes a quart of oil every 2,500 miles. The dealer claims this is normal and would not give me any relief under the class action settlement.

      The Impreza handles well and is fun to drive because of its low center of gravity. I did not compare it to the Outback because the Outback would not fit in my garage and I refuse to scrape ice or bring in groceries from the driveway in the rain.

      1. The Outback’s cargo space is crazy big! The Impreza’s is a lot smaller. Love love love my Outback!

  14. You could try setting your alarm for 745. I’ve had to minimize my morning routine this past year and I’m really enjoying my more streamlined morning even though I always thought I was one of those people who needed to have lots of time in the morning to just get ready at a slow pace.

    Or you can put your alarm somewhere far so you can’t just hit snooze. They even sell rolling alarm clocks for this purpose.

  15. Today on thissite gripes – Biglaw is not in any way a sacrifice, unless the word sacrifice loses all meaning. It is an extremely well-paying job that is done in a comfortable job. Someone said this the other day and it seemed crazy to me. I work in Biglaw.

    3. Agree w you. I’m in biglaw too and SOOO tired of everyone’s griping. If it’s too much work or not worth it or whatever, then move on. I am so tired of partners and associates acting like everyone should constantly bow down to us for sacrificing — sorry but it’s not exactly a job where one puts their life on the line or where one is working retail 40 hrs a wk on their feet or paving roads in the hot sun or something.

      1. Eh, I’ve worked retail for 40 hours/week and Big Law and thought Big Law was much worse. And it’s hard to move on when you have $200k of student loan debt. There are a very limited number of jobs that will allow you to pay off that debt. Doubly so if you’re single and don’t have a partner’s income to help. So I don’t think it’s as simple as “oh just move on” for a lot of people.

    4. Donald Trump recently said that running his real estate firm was a sacrifice akin to being a Gold Star Mom. I wonder if that is what sparked the conversation? I would stop being friends with someone who thought that way.

    5. Well, I don’t think Big Law is a sacrifice akin to being a Gold Star parent (that’s absolutely ludicrous) and I don’t even think it’s as difficult as working two minimum wage jobs and struggling to put food on the table. But I do think people who work in Big Law sacrifice many things, including time with their friends and families, ability to pursue hobbies and take vacations and in some cases even their physical and mental health. Obviously there are many benefits in exchange for these sacrifices (money, prestige, an interesting and challenging job, to name a few) and most people in Big Law have the choice to take a less stressful job if they wanted, but I don’t think the word “sacrifice” is completely inappropriate in conjunction with Big Law, at least when it’s used in the context of sacrificing things to do the job, not that the job itself is a sacrifice.

      3. I don’t think people in Big Law make sacrifices. I think they make trade-offs.

        That’s an important distinction.

    6. I’m sure people have moved on to the afternoon thread, but I agree that there are trade-offs, but this is true for any job.

      (Also, miss the edit feature, but I meant to write “comfortable environment.”) I actually thought of this recently because I was in a cab with someone I work with and I was saying that the people who work in the costumes handing out fliers must be so miserable in the heat, and he told me that “not everyone can get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for sitting down and working in the air conditioning.”

      Biglaw is really fun, interesting, lucrative work. In an era where no one stays at their job, it is an extremely good deal. It is not a sacrifice.

      1. You are lucky if you find Big Law fun and interesting. It’s objectively lucrative, but the other two are very subjective and many people find it terribly unfun and/or uninteresting. I found it somewhat interesting but absolutely NOT fun. So good for you that you have a found a career that is a great fit for you that pays very well. But you don’t get to just declare that it’s the greatest job ever and anyone who feels otherwise is like Donald Trump comparing his sacrifices to Gold Star parents. I’ve worked in retail, worked outside, worked in minimum wage jobs, worked in lots of environments that you seem to think are terrible because you don’t sit down inside with air conditioning, and guess what? I vastly preferred all of them to Big Law.

      2. When I was in biglaw, literally 90% of my co-workers were in therapy and/or on psychiatric meds. In most cases, the issues arose after they started in biglaw (e.g., the mental health issues did not predate biglaw). Many people were very open and matter of fact about the fact that biglaw made them depressed, anxious, or in rare cases even suicidal. There was also an extremely high rate of alcoholism and drug abuse, and this isn’t just my own anecdata. It’s well documented that lawyers abuse alcohol at a rate far exceeding almost every other profession. I’m sorry, but I consider giving up your mental and/or physical health to be a sacrifice, not a “trade-off.” Just because you make $160K a year and sit in a comfy chair in a private office doesn’t mean you aren’t giving up some of the most important things in life (of course some people can do biglaw without sacrificing their health and that’s great – more power to them! but it certainly involves sacrifices for many, and to pretend like it doesn’t just because the office buildings are nice and you make a lot of money is absurd).

  16. Suggestions to help me organize my new desk space?

    New job, new desk. I have 3 large/deep drawers and 3 large/deep shelf cubbies. Love that I have a good amount of space, but not sure how to organize it so I don’t just have a bunch of stuff floating on the bottom of the drawer. I suppose I would prefer not to spend money buying organizers, so

    1. wondering if there’s a cheaper way
    and/or
    2. wondering what organizers people have bought and really liked

    1. Dollar stores are great for this. A utensil organizer can corral your pens, scissors, paper clips, etc, while you can get small boxes and plastic containers to section off bigger stuff (I have different sized ones for my Levenger accessories–paper, tabs, post-its, stickers, etc).

    2. If it were me, I would designate:
      Drawer 1 – personal stuff (that’s where my bag would go, snacks, a cardigan that stays at the office, shoes, basic toiletries, etc.)
      Drawer 2 – “current” paper; aka that anything I’m working on and my planner would get stored in every day (I like to leave every day with a clean desk)
      Drawer 3 – office supplies. I would buy organizers for this, whether from ikea or dollar store.
      Cubby 1 – manuals and binders with frequently accessed information
      Cubby 2 – to a set of stacked document boxes (I use these a lot to throw things in that I need to keep around but don’t really need to file)
      Cubby 3 – one to a stacked inbox

  17. For anyone non-lawyer, what are your thoughts on an MBA? I’m almost 30, a manager-of-managers in the corporate world. How do you justify the ~$80K? I’d need to keep working and get it during my free time, but I’m already working nights and weekends. I wouldn’t look at a top tier, so is it even worth it?

    1. What do you want to do with it? I’m in an MBA heavy industry but don’t have one (did undergrad business at too program). In my industry if you want one it needs to be a top program or it isn’t worthwhile.

    2. I would think about it this way — what job do you want 5 yrs from now or 10 yrs from now? Is that promotion or career transition possible without an MBA? If yes, I’d err on the side of not getting one unless it’s from a top 10 school. A Wharton or Harvard MBA will open up opportunities that just aren’t open to regular folks, but the same is NOT true if you’re just getting an MBA just to get one from the school that happens to be 20 min down the road.

      1. My husband finished his MBA last year and the thought process was similar – he needed the degree to continue to move up. We’re lucky to be close to a top part-time program.

      2. +1. I would like to get an MBA but it’s not required for me to advance in my current role. I’d probably only consider it if I wanted to change careers.

        That being said, my husband graduated from a top 10 full time MBA program and that investment has paid off hugely for us (even with the six figures in student loans). Even if you don’t truly need it, an MBA is much more valuable when it’s from a top program, versus the mediocre school down the street.

    3. I have an MBA and did an evening program for it. For me it was worth it because I was changing careers (engineering to finance). I also went to a not-top but highly ranked school – Emory. What are you looking to get out of the program? For me, the evening program had more people with actual experience that I was able to learn from, and I feel like I got more out of that than the actual classes.

      I personally think if you’re looking to change careers, then it is worth it. If the position you want to move to requires it (I can’t think of many careers that actually require an MBA), then it is worth it. But if you already have general business knowledge, then I don’t know if there is much you would get out of an MBA program. An Executive MBA program might be good for you, too. Can you get your employer to pay for part of it?

    4. I think i worked harder getting a t-ball trophy than i did my MBA.

      It’s more of a networking opportunity and a “signaler” of competence than building a ton of technical skills (IMHO). Nothing you would not learn on the job.

    5. In short, no. Business school is not going to get you a worthwhile ROI unless you are doing a top-tier program. I don’t know what program(s) you’re interested in, but I would strongly advise you to contact alumni who are several years out and ask about their experiences post-graduation.

      Anecdata: I work in finance and am doing a part time MBA right now at the top-ranked program in it’s class (the corresponding full time program is ranked under top 10), and I would say that its 85% worth it. It’s costing me well over $80k, more in the neighborhood of $130k. The network is fabulous and something I will leverage the rest of my life. But it is hard to make full use of the school’s amazing resources while still working full time.

    6. I love school, and always thought I’d go back for some sort of grad school or business school after a few years of working. But I’m in the same place as you – working full time, wouldn’t look at top-tier, and couldn’t justify the cost of it when I thought a lot about it a couple years ago. I want to open my own business in a couple years, which I think some of the classes would help with, but not for the cost.

    7. Thanks everyone. I always thought I would go back to get my Masters, but I can’t justify it at this point. I wondered if I was missing some large benefit. In my field, I think it’s one of those “signifiers” that helps you if you move companies, but otherwise it’s not necessarily a requirement for the C-level jobs.

  18. Buying a house, closing in 3 weeks. I need something to keep my mind off all the things that can/are going wrong in the meanwhile! (Appraisal just came in $6K under purchase price… This isn’t the end of the world but I think Google is starting to judge me for the number of panicky queries.)

    1. Remember it’s long term. A $6k price flux is probably not a big percentage of the value, and you’re going to be there for how long? Will it be $6k less when you want to sell, idk 15 years from now? If so, and you’re out $6k… that’s probably fine, right? Actually a pretty good deal for a decade and a half of housing! There’s so much stressful minutiae but try to remember the big picture!

    2. Appraisals are super meaningless. We offered 10% over asking to get a house in a hot part of a relatively LCOL area, and the appraisal we ordered came in exactly at our offer. I was thrilled that we didn’t “overpay” but our agent not so subtly suggested to me that it wasn’t a coincidence that the appraisal came in at that number – I guess they wanted to make both us and the sellers feel good about the deal. Anyway, I wouldn’t sweat it. I don’t think it has that much to do with how much you can resell for.

  19. Going to San Francisco this weekend for the first time and trying to figure out what to wear. It’s going to be 55-64 degrees or so. Should I bring tights and boots for wearing with dresses or is bare legs still reasonable? And is it generally windy?

    1. I would go boots but no tights with dresses, and that’s only at night. During the day you’ll be fine with bare legs. It can get windy in some of the alleyways. I would focus on bringing lots of layers on top. There’s a reason everyone in San Francisco is wearing fleece jackets or a North Face packable down.

      A lot of people wear jeans or other casual pants, so you may not even want to bring a dress.

    3. It’s still summer, so no tights and boots. I’d go with black crop pants or jeans, and bring light jackets. Think late april/late september in dc.

    4. I went to SF in April and wore skinny jeans and flats the whole time and was pretty comfortable. I wore a scarf and had a fleece jacket with me at all times which I definitely wore at night and not as much during the day. I’m usually on the cold side so 55-64 degrees would be too cold for bare legs for me unless I was running.

    6. It has been REALLY foggy the last few weeks. If you’re going to be downtown or in the mission, or over to marin, bare legs during the day is fine. If you’re going over the golden gate bridge, up to twin peaks, to the ocean, etc, you’ll want pants and a jacket. Unless it happens to be a nicer than usual day. Always bring a jacket. The wind and fog comes in fast!

    7. Really appreciate all the suggestions. I have a much better idea now about what to bring.

  20. Any Harry Potter nerds?

    Pottermore is hiring freelance writers. May all the fanfic authors go crazy!

    1. I LOVE Harry Potter, but I’ve never really got into any of the fanfic. Is any of it worth reading?

      I’m very much an originalist. I even gave Cursed Child the side-eye until my cousin gave it her seal of approval – I’m re-reading the series right now, and will read Cursed Child after I finish up the original.

      1. I am a long-time HP obsessive fangirl and I think Cursed Child is basically garbage. The story is terrible. I’m going to continue to pretend it has nothing to do with canon.

        2. It was absolutely terrible. I am an avid and unashamed consumer of quality fanfic across several fandoms. The tropes and cliches in Cursed Child were obvious, trite, and poorly done. If it was fanfic I was reading for free, I would have stopped reading it about a third of the way through. I also am pretending it never existed.

          1. Which is to say, Cursed Child felt like bad fanfic by an inexperienced author adopting cliched tropes, not an original work by the original author of a series I know, love, cherish, and reread on a regular basis.

          2. I finished the first act and can’t bear to continue. It’s just awful. What on earth was JKR thinking, approving that garbage.

        3. This makes me feel so much better about not liking it. I felt like maybe I had outgrown HP, and that was heartbreaking.

      2. Just saw an article on BuzzFeed linking to the 21 best HP fanfic stories.

        I haven’t read fanfic in over a decade, but I was tempted by a few of them.

      3. Been in HP fandom since the first books came out, and honestly? Some of the fanfic is even better than the original.

        My hands-down favorite is Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past. It’s a time-travel fix-it fic that isn’t done yet but what is there is AMAZING.

  21. Unsolicited Thread Up review:

    I sent my first bag to Thread Up, and I received the payout information yesterday. For 17 accepted items, I received $48 – an average of $2.82 per item. I’d say approximately 1/3 of the items were new with tags, and the rest were hardly worn (I bought a bunch of stuff post-partum and ended up losing a lot of weight (yay!), so I had several unworn/barely worn items). One of the accepted items was a pair of brand new Cole Haan pumps. I purchased them on impulse, they were too tall to be comfortable for me, and I never wore them beyond trying them on in my carpeted bedroom. Thread Up accepted them into their “basement” section, which is essentially for damaged designer items. They claimed they were scuffed and stained. They’re brand new! I didn’t expect to make much from Thread Up, but seriously?!?

    Their customer service says that you can’t dispute their pricing, but I sent them an email about the pumps anyway. Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be sending them anything else.

    1. I was going to post the link to my “damaged” Cole Haan shoes so one of you could benefit, but it appears they’ve already sold for $23…someone got very lucky!

    2. Agreed, I don’t think it’s worth it to send them anything, I just donate my clothes instead of using Thread Up.

    4. Yeah, selling items with them sucks. I think it’s only really for items you would just trash anyway–anything even vaguely valuable I sell on Poshmark on eBay.

    5. I got decent $$ for a purse I sold through them; otherwise, not so much. I had a similar experience with Cole Haan pumps I tried to sell through them. Do not plan to use again. Would rather donate to a local women’s shelter, which I plan to do next time.

    6. I had the same experience with ThredUp. I was never even able to get a reply from customer service so you got farther than I did. Absolute garbage company. I would much rather give gently used stuff to Goodwill (and I don’t itemize so there’s no tax deduction – but the happy feelings I get from giving to charity are worth more to me than the $1.08 or whatever that ThredUp is going to give me).

    7. While that sucks, it’s pretty much along the same lines of all the retail consignment stores in my area. There’s a chain owned by once upon a child and another local chain that give you pennies on the dollar of what they turn around and sell items for. The only benefit with ThreadUp is that you don’t have to physically go to the store to drop them off and wait for cash.

    8. I’ve used Poshmark to sell some items and while it requires a bit more effort, it’s been pretty good.

    9. I was also a bit disappointed with the payout for my first ThredUp payout, but I think it’s kind of give-and-take: I like that I can buy Theory blazers for only $20, but that means someone else has to be willing to only get paid $5 or so for donating that blazer, so in my mind, if I want to buy clothes at a really low price I also have to be willing to sell clothes at that price. Plus, donating to Goodwill is a hassle for me (not one in the area) and gets me zero money, while donating to ThreadUp is fairly effortless and gets me *some* money, so it’s a net win. (Obviously this math doesn’t hold true if you were planning on selling your clothes some other way, but that’s too much work for me).

      I also am using it as a faux-shopping ban and encouragement to aggressively clean out my closet — every time I send in clothes I get a much smaller return, and then I tell myself I can only buy new things on the site using the credit. So for every 5 or so items I give up that I hate or don’t wear, I can basically buy one new item that I should absolutely love. It’s really helped me evaluate my clothes in a new light!

  22. Anyone have a recommendation or thouguys on vacuum cleaners? Bagged vs bagless? Canister vs upright? I’m in an apt and have hardwood floors with a couple of area rugs.

  23. Hey ladies,
    Can you send your favorite lingerie stores for a gift under $150? My friend’s lingerie shower is Friday evening and I’m hoping to pick up something in-store. She’s 34C/medium so I’m sure I have a wide variety of options, but didn’t want to go to the typical VS route. (I’m in TX, if that helps)

      2. Yes, it’s been a thing for years although none of my close friends have ever had one. You shower the bride with cute underwear for her honeymoon.

    3. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a thing other places – most of them that I have been to combined it with the bachelorette party. (also what I did when I got married 9 yrs ago) I’ve been to a few where they have lingerie and “passion” parties all combined. Some get wilder than others…

    4. I recently bought some good pieces at Nordstrom for a friend’s shower. Many other girls had shopped there as well.

    5. Does anyone else find these … sort of distasteful? I hope I don’t sound like a prude … but why would I want to buy someone else underwear? I also can’t help but feel that it’s connected to a lot of the worst patriarchal traditions of the institution of marriage. Maybe this is because I have seen numerous lingerie parties were the bride was gifted with underwear that actually said “Property of [groom’s name]” across the ass, which I found horrifying.

      I also can’t fathom a situation in which I would want anyone else to buy it for me. I’m extremely picky about my underwear; isn’t everyone else?

      1. Totally agree with you ELaw, I find them mortifying. It’s not something I heard of happening until I moved to the southeast.

  24. I should re-ask on the afternoon thread, but: what’s your favorite show to binge watch while working out? I have a temporary Hulu subscription (plan to cancel soon) but the Netflix and Amazon subs are here to stay. Already watch RHONY and Food Network Star — I was thinking maybe Survivor or something semi-trashy but interesting? What do you watch?

    1. I always watch Top Gear on the treadmill even though it makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I am at risk of falling off. And while I love cars, there are certainly hilarious parts that you don’t have to be a car nerd to appreciate.

    2. I liked Veronica Mars and Buffy/Angel for this. I need a major distraction on the treadmill and these fit the bill.

    5. Top Chef
      Chopped
      Project Runway
      Food Network Star
      Top Gear
      Pretty much any of the baking/food competition shows, honestly.

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