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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 206 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Merino Wool Cardigan

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Brooks Brothers Red Fleece Merino Wool Cardigan | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This cardigan reminds me of some of Kate Spade’s stuff — but it’s merino wool and only $128. Lovely! I can’t decide if I like the navy or red better — one of both, please. Brooks Brothers Red Fleece Merino Wool Cardigan Two plus-size options are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]. (L-4)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Boston Legal Eagle

    Thoughts on Netflix’s new “unlimited” parental leave policy? Is this going to go the way of unlimited PTO, in that people actually take none or a very limited amount?

    • Anonymous

      From what I’ve heard from friends who worked at Netflix, yes. It doesn’t sound like a very nice or family-friendly environment.

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, I think this is one of those benefits that depends way more on how reasonable your boss/department is, and what kind of precedent the first people to take it set. I guess since they already have unlimited vacation it really isn’t that different, because otherwise you could take your “official” leave and then come back and start taking your “unlimited” vacation.

        • MJ

          The reason that a lot of companies in CA have unlimited vacation is that if they have a fixed amount, by CA law, it has to be paid out when an employee leaves.

          So while it looks awesome to have UNLIMITED VACATION (ELLENCAPS!), it’s actually a way for firms to cheap out and your demanding bosses to shame you into not taking much vacation.

    • Wildkitten

      I assume people will not actually take the whole year, but I like that the leave is flexible so you can go back to work only 3-4 days a week, and take time off when your childcare falls through, and to go to the doctor, etc. I think this will allow new parents the time to figure stuff out and put systems in place to work better after the first year is over. And I like that they do this on top of unlimited vacation, acknowledging that while both are unlimited time off, caring for an infant is definitely not vacation.

  2. Best organizer for Longchamp?

    Please forgive me if this has been covered in depth before, but I am in search of an organizer for a large Longchamp Le Pliage. Anyone have experience with the “purse to go” extra jumbo large or the one from “divide and conquer?” Need something that adds shape and pockets. Thanks!

  3. anonymous

    I just discovered this idea of belting dresses. Are there rules? Like, is it a casual thing I shouldn’t do with work dresses, or do you not belt wrap dresses? Etc

    • CountC

      I belt work dresses. If the belt is professional and the dress is professional, I see no problem with it. I am not super stylish thought, so I don’t know if there are any rules! I think you either go wide or skinny though – that’s how I approach it.

      • APP123

        I have belted a wrap dress successfully (I think) before (the Banana Republic Gemma, specifically). I think the key is to use a wide belt and to make sure the “wrap” strings are tucked up under the belt (I used a little safety pin to make sure mine stayed underneath).

    • AttiredAttorney

      Cap Hill Style has a post on this very issue today! Definitely check it out.

  4. Wine tasting and pregnant

    Ladies, looking for some advice. My practice group is going wine tasting this weekend. It is an event organized by my mentor, so I really feel like I have to go to support her (she is worried about the turn out, of course). Only catch: I am 8 weeks pregnant, and no one at work knows. I would rather wait at least 6 more weeks before sharing my news. What should I do? Any tips?

    • TNTT

      Yikes. This is not an event where the secret tonic/lime will do.

      If this were my situation, taking my relationship with my mentor into consideration, I’d confide in her the truth so that she didn’t feel as though I wasn’t supporting her. YMMV there of course. Congratulations!

      (Kat: Autoplay ads for Lime-Away and Fogs yuckkkk)

    • LawDawg

      Wine tasting is perfect. You can taste the wine — go through the whole sniff, swish routine. And then spit it out instead of swallowing. If something is really good, a sip or two won’t hurt anything. You won’t need to drink as long as you put some in your mouth and can comment on what’s good and what’s not, no one will notice how much you actually consume.

      • anonymous

        I’m not sure how you spit without being conspicuous. I’d just let a tiny bit touch my tongue so you can taste it but not enough to actually swallow.

        • Anonymous

          Everyone will notice if you’re not drinking. And at 8 weeks some of the sharper eyed people are already suspicious. I understand 100% of pregnant women think they aren’t showing at all at 8 weeks, but you are. The rest of us are being polite and aren’t quite sure yet.

          • AIMS

            Really? I’m close to six months along and people have just finally started to notice in the last few weeks. When I started telling people at just after 12 weeks, the most frequent comment I got was, “really?? but you don’t look it at all!” And this is from people who wouldn’t hesitate to tell me I look like crap or have lipstick on my teeth. Everyone gets through pregnancy differently.

            As for the OP, I personally don’t subscribe to the notion that a few sips of wine will hurt anyone, as long as you go slow, eat, and drink plenty of fluids. Most wine tastings I’ve been to require you to buy extra wine if you actually want to get a buzz and you could just let that one sit with barely a sip, take it out to a garden and then discreetly empty it in some rosebushes. But you should do what you’re comfortable with. I think confiding in your mentor sounds like a good alternative.

          • Maddie Ross

            Totally untrue that 100 of people are “showing” at 8 weeks. False. End stop. Will sharp eyed people notice you drinking decaf, skipping deli meat, sipping a “vodka soda” when you usually drink wine? Definitely. If it because your ute is already sticking out? Nope.

          • lawsuited

            Yep, I am never surprised when someone tells me they’re pregnant at 12 weeks, because at that point it’s already been visible for some time. I would not say anything until I was told by the woman herself, and I would act surprised and be complimentary when I was told the news, even if she was 35 weeks pregnant.

          • Ehhh

            I’ve never been pregnant, but I have two coworkers who are. One is a good friend and I spend lots of time with her every day. She told me at 9 weeks and I had NO IDEA. And she’s kind of my fashion icon so I pay a lot of attention to her clothes, so I don’t think it was a matter of me being unobservant. It really was not noticeable until she got to 11 or 12 weeks. I had another coworker who told me at FIVE MONTHS and I had no clue, although I don’t see her as much. I think it’s really really different for every woman, depending on how her body is shaped/how she carries/how she dresses/etc. I would not assume people know already at 8 weeks!

          • Marilla

            Yup, I’m with AIMS. I’m also about 5 1/2 months along and when I told my best friend at 12 weeks, she could not tell at all (other than the fact that I had lost weight by not eating for three months). And she’s a very sharp-eyed person. Some people show right away, but not everyone. This isn’t false vanity – it’s just that’s pregnancy affects everyone differently.

          • AIMS

            There is a difference in behavior-based tells and actually physically showing. I really don’t think this is an argument worth having with strangers on the internet but I think it’s silly to say that you can tell just by looking at someone at 8 weeks. But maybe some people spend more time observing people’s uteruses than I do. Whether some guessed for me at 12 wks., I’m sure some did – the ones that did, usually said as much and most of it had to do with seeing me after-work/change of my habits and the fact that my boobs got bigger. But I really don’t think everyone who acted surprised was just being complimentary (and that doesn’t even make sense to me, why is that a compliment? Because I don’t look fat??). By way of my own experience, a good friend told me she was pregnant early on and as much as I saw her all the time she didn’t start to look pregnant to me until about week 14 or so. Just the way her body is. I also went to a wedding last year where my mom was 100% certain bride was with child and she was not (and yes, my mom asked and then followed up when the baby should have been born because she, too, is convinced she always knows).

          • Jules

            I wasn’t showing at 8 weeks. I had to tell a client who knew me well, counsel for a co-defendant and, um, a federal judge on the record (in a situation involving me leaving the courtroom during a jury trial, against the judge’s express rules, because of a desperate need for a bathroom). I was still wearing narrow pencil skirts and I don’t think any of those people were faking their surprise at my announcement.

            But I kind of agree that if you say you can’t drink becaue of meds everyone will assume you’re lying and you’re really pregnant. Options: Go and drink tiny sips/spit it out, tell your mentor and don’t go or don’t tell your mentor and find another excuse not to go.

          • nutella

            Oh Anonymous!

            Every pregnancy and every body is different. I saw my own sister in a bikini and didn’t know she was 7 weeks pregnant until she told me.

          • Sydney Bristow

            AIMS and Marilla, I totally missed that you both were pregnant. Congratulations!

        • ITDS

          There is usually a bucket or cup just for spitting. Serious wine tasting does not equal wine guzzling.

          • Anonymous

            And a work wine tasting event isn’t serious wine tasting. It’s an excuse to get drunk together while feeling classy.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            It can also be used for dumping the remainder of the glass. As I said below, I’d have a sip or two and dump the remainder of the glass for each variety offered.

        • Senior Attorney

          You don’t spit without being conspicuous. That’s what wine tasting is — you taste, you swish, you spit. Boom — done. Also I agree a few sips won’t hurt anything.

          And I agree that most people aren’t looking at you as closely as you think they are. Also? Until you’ve announced it you are officially “not pregnant” for work purposes anyway.

      • anon

        You don’t spit without being conspicuous. That’s what wine tasting is — you taste, you swish, you spit. Boom — done. Also I agree a few sips won’t hurt anything.

        And I agree that most people aren’t looking at you as closely as you think they are. Also? Until you’ve announced it you are officially “not pregnant” for work purposes anyway.

    • Anonymous

      I’d skip it. I don’t think you’ll get away with spitting everything. If keeping your pregnancy a secret is your priority, just bail apologetically.

      • Anon

        +1 I would either confide in your mentor (if you are comfortable) or lie – tell them you had a family obligation come up at the last minute, fake being sick, or go and tell them you are on a medication that you can’t mix with alcohol. One of my best friends used the last one when she was pregnant and no one questioned it.

        • Anon for this

          I had a VERY high risk pregnancy and essentially wasn’t even told the pregnancy was viable until i was 18 weeks or so. It was incredibly stressful, but I was determined to keep it an absolute secret because I couldn’t bear the thought of work people knowing I miscarried if I did. there was a work even when I was about 11 weeks that involved a lot of drinking. I had my husband “fake” an accident and call me at work halfway through the day to tell me to come home immediately.

          Yes, you may judge that I was tempting fate or causing worry unnecessarily, but I felt i had no other way — and it worked perfectly. To this day, people don’t know that was a made up accident.

          • Original Anon

            No judgment here. I am also pregnant and hiding the pregnancy was a horrible experience for me. I hate lying about anything, but think this is one situation that it is totally acceptable and you do whatever you need to in order to get by. Lie, stay at home, whatevs. Glad it worked out for you.

      • Carrie...

        +2. I’d skip it too. Way to stressful. Agree with all of Anon’s suggestions.

    • L

      You’re on a new medication and can’t drink. For example, NSAIDS or prescription strength advil you’re not allowed to drink while taking. Mention it to her and offer to help with some of the event details. You can go and smell the wine (assuming you’re not super nauseous).

      • lawsuited

        This is what I was going to suggest. Many antibiotics have terrible side effects when mixed with alcohol, so it’s not like you’ll be admitting to taking narcotics or anything.

      • Maddie Ross

        If you really want to keep the rumors down, don’t say this. Even if that was a true statement, people will still assume pregnancy with a woman in her 20s/30s. If you want to avoid rumors, skip it. Make up an excuse and just don’t go.

      • L

        I guess I’m about 18 months overdue then? I suppose the people I work with may have thought it, but at least had the decency not to question me to my face. I guess if people are jerks about it then you’re right, not going is the best bet.

        • Maddie Ross

          No, no. Not saying anyone would ask or be jerky about it, just saying that if a female in her child-bearing years who normally drinks chooses not to drink at an event, it will raise suspicion. Clearly the fact you did not give birth would squelch that. Thinking it doesn’t make people jerky.

      • Anonymous

        I think by naming something common like aspirin or antibiotics, you’re asking for “oh I was on that last year and drank with no problems, you’ll be fine!” peer pressure.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’ve never had kids but I have been to several wine tastings. I’m in the camp that one glass of wine won’t adversely effect your pregnancy but I’m not a mom or a doctor. I think you could take a sip or two or three of the different kinds offered and still not have it add up to an entire glass of wine. I’ve also had male friends stop participating in the tasting halfway through because day drinking wine was upsetting their stomach. Obviously don’t do this if you would be really uncomfortable having any alcohol while pregnant. But if you want to participate and will keep it under one full glass I really wouldn’t worry. My thoughts are similar about champagne toasts at weddings. So many pregnant people worry about getting outed. I don’t see the harm in taking a glass, clinking glass, taking a sip and not drinking the rest. I really don’t think that sip is poison. But again, not a mom or a doctor.

      • Marilla

        Agree, I think a few sips won’t hurt and you don’t have to taste everything. I wouldn’t tell at 8 weeks unless you’re really close with your mentor and would want her to know if something went wrong.

        • Butter

          Agree. Also IMO, sometimes the stress of worrying about how to handle a situation is worse than the actual effects of said situation. I’d have a huge breakfast or two, drink a ton of water, and maybe quickly develop a verrrrry sophisticated palette that has you dismissing some or most of the offerings and referencing some distant terroir as your preference. And read Emily Oster the night before to help you sleep better. But if the stress of going will be greater than the stress from bailing, then bail away.

    • Senior Attorney

      Coming back to say this isn’t exactly the same thing, but when I had weight loss surgery some years ago, for a good long while I could only eat a few bites per meal. It certainly wasn’t anything I wanted to discuss with people in a work context, so if I had to attend a work lunch or dinner I would take a bite, put my fork down, push my food around on my plate, and repeat. Literally nobody noticed that I was basically only pretending to eat. Almost everybody is way to wrapped up in him- or herself to notice what you are eating or drinking. It was astonishing.

      • Anon

        Okay, they totally noticed and just weren’t rude enough to comment. Which is fine – it’s good that people aren’t rude and who cares if they notice. But we shouldn’t pretend people don’t notice this stuff. They do.

        • Senior Attorney

          I think your friends and colleagues must care way more about people’s dining habits than mine do. For realsies.

          But as I said above, if they are officially Not Noticing, it’s really the same thing for all practical purposes.

        • CountC

          I 100% notice all of these things, but that’s because I am just naturally observant. I would never say anything unless I was very concerned for a friend’s health or something like that, but some people absolutely notice.

          • Anon

            Yeah, I would never comment on it either but . . . like it’s pretty obvious when people aren’t eating. I’m not staring at their plate, I just see that they’re pushing food around instead of eating it. Because I have eyes.

    • Anonymous

      I had people who didn’t believe I was pregnant at 6 months, I definitely didn’t show until at least 5 months and was all baby, no weight gain anywhere else, not even boobs. Didn’t look pregnant after giving birth, regular clothes after 1 week. Of course, I was 19 so that probably helped.

    • Renee

      There’s a difference between people wondering if you are pregnant and you confirming it. EVERYONE will say “I knew it!” Once you confirm it bc people love to think they knew ahead of time (case in point the people who think they can ALWAYS tell at 8 weeks…whatevs). I think you’re fine with sipping and spitting (which is actually how it’s done) or going the antibiotics route or some other excuse. People who ask are rude and you just deny it (you absolutely don’t owe them the truth right now). What will happen if they suspect? I bet nothing.

  5. Anonymous

    Cat. Website barely functional today because I’m being redirected to the App Store constantly. Only website this is an issue for me is this one.

    • Ellen

      Yay! This is funny. I wonder if our old teck guy (who we fired) went over to manage Kat’s websight! I am also haveing probelems with the sight. My typing does NOT even show up for 3 second’s, which is along time in the internet world, and I have a fast rooter, so this should NOT be an issue.

      Anyway, re the Cardigan, it is way to form fitting for me. Frank would be staring at my boobie’s and grabbing at the cardigan, b/c he says his wife likes them. She seems to like everything I wear, but that does NOT give him license to PAW me and my body for cheep thrills.

      This weekend, I am goeing back with Myrna upstate so she can swim in the Hudson River — ugh— tho she says it is clean upstate. I still think there are snake’s and fishes and bugs in the water. FOOEY! I will stay on dry land, thank you very much. The guy from Massachusets texted me and said he want’s me to visit. If I do, I wonder where I would sleep? He has a hotel, so I will insist on MY OWN ROOM. I do NOT want him pawing me either. I will ask Myrna to come with me the weekend after next if I get the right sleepeing arrangement’s. YAY!!!!

  6. Corporate Engineer - anon for this

    I’m an engineer working in a corporate environment. Have recently gotten a job assignment change within the department, coupled with new people added to the group and a change in how roles are divided up.

    Previously, we were each assigned to a plant location. Now, we are paired up and each pair is assigned to TWO plants. This is supposed to use our strengths better and help us optimize the whole system instead of thinking about an individual location. Sound good?… The problem is that our manager has left the details of this collaboration up to each pair. My new “partner” just transferred in from another location and has a very hierarchal outlook. He keeps referring to himself as the “lead engineer”. It doesn’t help that he’s got 30 years experience to my 15, and a daughter my age. Now, he’s assigned himself the better plant of the two and told me to take the other one. He also seems to think I’m here to do the modeling work while he does the interdepartmental stuff (the visible work). True, I am the one in the partnership with the modeling skills, but I don’t want to do it all the time — I have a lot of other abilities, too.

    And here’s where it gets really complicated: I’m 32 weeks pregnant and planning to take 12 weeks leave Oct-Dec. It’s the worst timing ever – he can basically do whatever he wants when I’m gone. Even between now and October, it’s awkward. He’s planning plant visits and I don’t think I can handle the travel right now. The only thing I have going for me is that I do know some people at the two plants we’re assigned to and have some good relationships built up.

    I’m sad and stressed out, especially because I love this job and have really been enjoying it until now. Help?? what would you do in this situation?

    • Shayla

      I think this is an unfortunate situation with unfortunate timing. I think pre-maternity leave it honestly isn’t worth it to fight the good fight, it’ll be a lot of effort when you could just do some really good work and leave on that high note. I wouldn’t hesitate to add comments like, “I look forward to joining you on X, Y, Z Visible Activity when I get back from maternity leave.” But I think use his eagerness and selfishness to your advantage while you are transitioning in and out. Keep up your contacts at each plant and openly discuss with them what you’re excited to work on (with/for them) when you return (if that’s appropriate for your job). Then, when you get back, see how things are for a few weeks (honestly, with you and with him–you’ll be dealing with a big transition and it might be nice to have his “help” for a bit). Unfortunately, with the age dynamic, this will be sticky situation when you get back. Start integrating yourself and asserting yourself as you’re able to do so–and more forcefully if needed. Because in these situations, if you have to force him to let you share in the visible activities or the “good” plant (hopefully it doesn’t come to that) you need to be willing to do so 100%.

      Good luck! And Congrats!!

      • Meg Murry

        I wonder if this system was put in place specifically because of situations like maternity leave coverage, so one plant doesn’t get screwed when their assigned engineer is out and no one else steps up to take it over. I get why you are mad, and why things like him calling himself the “lead” are annoying, but honestly, he just found out that now he has to cover 2 plants solo instead of just 1 in 8 weeks (or possibly less) and that you can’t really do much traveling now (and how much do you really want to do when you come back with an infant at home)?

        I think it is a valid point that he should handle interdepartmental stuff that requires traveling and continuing business as usual once you go on leave right now, and you handle the work that can be done from your home office with minimal travel or having to transition everything back over. Yes, he is taking on the more visible work, but he might think he is doing you a favor by taking on the work that requires more face time and traveling, as opposed to work that can be done at your own pace with a laptop. I would meet with him and ask that he keep you in the loop and agree on what degree of duties you will split for right now, and make it clear that it is only temporary and when you get back you will discuss how to divvy it back up.

        Can you talk to your boss? Any chance she actually told the guy to “take the lead” while you are out and he is interpreting that as “lead engineer”? Or if its anything like other plant service positions I’ve seen, by the time you come back and are ready to be ramped back up to 100%, there may be another model in place (like teams of 3 or 4 instead of 2) or someone else may have transferred to a different department and you could ask or be asked to be paired up with a different engineer.

    • Anonymous

      Are you speaking up about this? When he refers to himself as lead engineer, are you saying “actually we are equals on the project. Please stop calling yourself the lead. It is inaccurate.” Go back and say “actually, you can’t assign yourself the better of the two plants. We are supposed to be splitting the work and that isn’t a fair division.” Speak up. Fight back. Be louder.

      • Alli

        Agree, you have to speak up. He is being loud and making himself the leader. You can be loud and make yourself the leader (or at least an equal) as well.

        • Shayla

          I would typically agree. But with looming maternity leave I don’t think, in a corporate/plant environment, being loud and sticking up for yourself THEN being gone for your maternity leave is going to be a good thing. I think leaving on a strong note where no one is complaining is better. In a perfect world, the maternity leave isn’t an issue.

          This isn’t a perfect world and I think a more delicate approach pre-leave is necessary. With the looming leave, OP won’t have the final say on the impression she leaves if she makes her “partner” mad before she leaves. And in this situation, especially with client contact that he will have while she’s out, she needs to make sure he’s not left to his on devices while she’s out so she doesn’t have to worry. Come back and do whatever you need to. But don’t stir the pot, then go on leave and have NO CONTROL on what is happening.

          • Meg Murry

            I agree with Shayla. No offense to the OP, but she is about to go on leave and he is going to be covering for her at 2 plants instead of his usual 1. They aren’t able to do equal work right now, and now isn’t the time to demand it. Now is also not the time to get him ticked off when he has plenty of time to throw her under the bus while on leave. I think the most important part is to make sure that both plants are getting coverage when she is out (that he isn’t way over prioritizing the larger plant at the expense of the smaller one) because she will probably have to deal with it if one plant feels that they aren’t getting the same level of service – it could (and probably will) be blamed on her being out of leave and she’ll have to spend the first few months back just smoothing down all the ruffled feathers.

    • Meara

      Could you ease into more “collaboration” with some reminders you’ll be out? Like “I know I have the modeling skills but since I’ll be on leave, you’ll need to be able. Why don’t I teach you some things?” “You’ll be my backup for Plant B while I’m out, so why don’t we take this opportunity to make sure we are both aware of all the issues for both plants–you never know what could happen!”?

    • Corporate Engineer

      Thanks to everyone for the insight!! It really helps, and obviously I have a lot to think about.

      Something I didn’t say in my original post – he actually seems like a nice person, just paternal and very confident of his place in the world. We’ve all dealt with that… and we’ve all dealt with worse, too.

      As for speaking up… I have done so, but have kept it pretty gentle so far. Example: when he told me to go work on the small plant, I reminded him that we’re assigned to two plants so we can work with them as one system. I was warned not to “scare him”; I’m not sure if that’s gendered advice or a realistic view of the position I’m in right now (re Shayla and Meg’s comments). I am certainly capable of scaring my co-workers when called for :)

      So again, I guess I have a lot of thinking to do. I like the approach where I focus on going out on a positive note right now. That gives me something I can *d0*.

  7. Midwest Mama

    I’m looking for recs for underwear. I’ve tried bikini, hiphugger, and boy short style and none seem long enough to fit around my cheeks. I don’t have a particularly round booty, but I’m 6′ tall and so when I pull them down to fit around my cheeks, it seems to leave the top of my cr@ck exposed. It’s like I need them longer but maybe not high waisted or they will show above my pants. Any suggestions?

    • tesyaa

      Have you tried going up a size in your regular underwear? Yes, you’re tall, but it sounds like you’re also wearing too small.

      • Anon

        +1. I’m a size 6, but I wear an XL in some panties so they stay down around my cheeks and so there’s no VPL.

          • Anon

            Is this a reply to me? I wear Soma vanishing edge panties in an XL. The larges dig into my love handles a bit and ride up on the cheeks, both of which defeat the purpose of a vanishing edge panty.

          • Anonymous

            Yup – thanks Anon. You sound very similar to me. I wear 4-6 in pants and am a little stunned to think I maybe should be wearing XL underwear, but maybe I need to give it a try. I haven’t tried Soma yet.

            Which style panty do you buy? I am pear shaped, and my fuller butt is matched by fuller thighs on top. This creates a big problem area….

            I do have a bunch of Hanky Panky thongs, gut sometimes I just want some coverage without stretching into Granny panties.

          • Anon

            Yep, I’m a pear as well! Ok, I just looked them up. The lace hipster is my absolute favorite for comfort and fit. (I wear the cotton variety (style 570033963) with jeans and the microfiber (style 560001067) with work things.) I have lots of the lace bikini (style 570000578) (I’m guessing because it came in cute colors I liked haha) – it’s totally fine as a panty, no complaints. The thin “strings” on the bikini style (style 560000793), even in an XL, cut into my love handles and make an indention, so I only have two of those and won’t buy more when they wear out.

          • similar problem

            Thanks again Anon. I really appreciate the detailed information. Thanks for the research!

    • Dulcinea

      I also have this problem, although its more of a roundness/droopiness than tallness issue. It baffles me because I fit into pants in relatively small sizes but never any undies without riding up or lines. So I started getting boxer briefs from H and M and its the only thing that has really worked. You have to get the ones that are by the registers in packs, not the individual ones on hangers in the mens section because the individual ones have seams.

      Jockey makes boxer briefs for women but they are still not long enough. I have heard great things about the skimmies they make (look like bike shorts) but I don’t like the material they are made of. Personally I am planning to try real bike shorts some day.

    • Anonymous

      I have the same problem. Natori bliss are pretty good without being too much like the underclothing of a grandmother.

    • moss

      I found some SPANX underwear at Gabriel Brothers… they are one size fits all and super stretchy.

    • Marie

      I’m built similarly to you, Midwest Mama, and have the same panty issue. My favorite lately is DKNY Signature Lace Bikini. It has plenty of coverage and stays put, in my experience.

      Still looking for a smooth, non-lace, non-cotton bikini type panty that works as well. Thanks to Anon for the suggestion of the SOMA in a larger-than-normal size.

  8. Anon

    Anyone have a Loeffler Randal tote? They seem great but expensive and I’m trying to figure out if they’re worth it.

  9. Two Cents

    I posted a few days ago looking for sleeved tops for work. Just wanted to report back that I tried on the Ravello top from Boden and it surprisingly looks great. I’m an hourglass and was worried that it would be too boxy. While it is a somewhat relaxed fit, it’s not boxy or too blousy. They have a bunch on clearance right now, if anyone is interested. I bought my usual size but I may have been also able to go down 1 size. Hope this helps others!

  10. CHJ

    What kind of casual shoes are trending right now? I have a pair of Sperry-type boat shoes that I wore to death and I need to replace them. I liked the boat shoes because they were a step above sneakers, but weren’t so dressy or delicate that I couldn’t walk my dog across a field in them. I’d also like to avoid boots because I wear them everyday for the long, long winter, and it’s nice to have a break from them in the summer. Any recommendations for something new that would fit the bill?

    • Cb

      I saw someone in these low profile new balance sneakers with a patterned sole today and thought they looked quite cool. Otherwise, I’m not that creative, trading off between toms and chucks.

    • CountC

      I’d get another pair of Sperrys. I don’t think they are off-trend – I still see them out and about in Central PA.

      • Anonymous

        Sorry to interrupt, but ugh. Pet peeve – “on-trend//off-trend”. What happened to “trendy” (except that it’s no longer trendy itself”.

        • HSAL

          “On-trend” is my nemesis. It’s often code for “this won’t look good on you, but everyone else will be wearing it so you should too.”

        • CountC

          That’s cool, it was just what first came to mind when I read the OP’s “are trending” description.

      • Anon

        With all due respect, my parents live in Central PA, and I’m not entirely sure that it is a benchmark for what is trendy and what is not :)

        • CountC

          I don’t disagree, but I see them most in the wealthy horsey crowd, not while driving around Amish country ;)

    • A

      Sperry’s, oxfords, or loafers/driving moccasins, especially Cole Haan brand. Birks if you want a sandal.

      • nutella

        agree to all. Also as mentioned above, low profile or retro-looking sneakers. Think the retro New Balance or Nikes or Supergas– some young’n hipsters are even wearing Keds again!

    • Lobbyist

      I got a pair of shoes that are rubber like crocs but look like tennis shoes — the brand is called Natives and they sell them at Z a p p o s. Comfy with or without socks, cute (multiple color options), more supportive than crocs or flip flops.

  11. Monday

    Hi guys. Now that Windows 10 is out I am shopping for a new laptop and just don’t know what I’m doing, so any recommendations? My needs are pretty common: all Office functions, web stuff, streaming. I want it to be portable but not so small that I’m hunching over the screen. It will be my primary computer for both work and personal. I’ve had an HP this time around, and it’s fine but not amazing.

    • pockets

      I have no suggestions on specific computers, but I would highly recommend getting one with a touch screen. It’s life-changing.

      • Mpls

        +1 totally thought touchscreens were a stupid fad. Now it’s totally integrated into my computing experience (Lenovo Yoga 13).

    • AIMS

      I have a MacBook Air and really love it. Light but not teeny, works well, reliable (over a year and a half so far with no issues; last apple laptop I had was good for 5+ years). You can run office on it. But not sure if Apple products are off the table.

      • Monday

        Thanks, but I’m afraid they are. I’ve never gotten the hang of Macs and feel like I can’t spare the time learning. Any equivalent in PCs though?

        • MJ

          Yes, I have a Lenovo X1 Carbon. It’s pricy, but has the same profile thickness-wise as a Macbook Air, and has held up very well over two years of lots of everyday use. If you have a friend who can get an education discount, do it that way. I saved a bundle!

    • JJ

      I’ve had a Microsoft Surface for a year now and love it. I can use it as a tablet or laptop, dock it into my larger monitors, and I have plenty of actual computing power for what I need to do.

    • moss

      For laptops I’d say most of them will have the performance you need, so it comes down to comfort. If possible, go and type on the keyboard and make sure the layout is comfortable for you.

      • moss

        also I have a Lenovo and recently spilled an entire cup of coffee all over it and shook the coffee off with no issues.

        • New Anon

          Similar story here–I spilled a whole cup of coffee on my laptop the day before my last exam (Torts!) my first semester of law school. Let it dry out, and, with the exception of one mouse button (which is duplicated and which I don’t use anyhow), it’s been going strong ever since.

    • CountC

      Look into the ASUS options. The one I have is tablet sized, so probably not going to work for you. But it does have the touchscreen which I love.

    • Tetra

      I love my Dell XPS 13. I know, Dell has a bad rep, but this model is really nice. You can get it with a touch screen or without.

      • Josie Pye

        I also have a Dell XPS 13 and love it. It’s super lightweight but doesn’t feel tiny.

      • Annie

        I have this computer, and I love it. It is super light weight, and I’ve had no issues hardware wise with it.

    • Anon100

      I have an ASUS Zenbook and my mom has a Sony Vaio Ultrabook, both of which are superlight and easy to carry around. My mom’s laptop is the touchscreen one and she loves it.

    • anon

      Microsoft Surface Pro 3 all the way. It’s a tablet, it’s a laptop, it’s farking awesome. You can get as fast as an i7 processor which is basically the best that’s available in any laptop anyway. It is a bit pricey, but I think totally worth it. Try it out at a Microsoft store if there’s one near you.

    • EM

      I actually have a HP work laptop and am highly impressed with how much it can do since it’s my primary computer for work and I just dock it at work and at home and it handles really really well.

  12. Homebody

    Silly question, but DH and I recently dumped cable for Apple TV. Is there any way for us to watch the Republican debate in realtime other than by going to a friend’s house?

    • Kelly Andthenblog

      We bought a $12 antenna for times like this (…the Super Bowl, though, so…). We connect it, watch the thing, and afterwards, back into the drawer it goes.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know what network it’s playing on, but if you have an antenna, you should be able to pick up broadcast channels over the air with an HD signal.

    • Anna

      If you’re in a city, an antenna should work. In the past, I’ve also been able to stream debates from the New York Times (and maybe some other news web pages?), but I think those were the big ones, not sure if they do primary debates…

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’ve been wondering the same thing. Since it is on Fox News, an antenna won’t help. I’m hoping they’ll stream it online (which if you have other Apple devices you could AirPlay to your TV).

      • Sydney Bristow

        It looks like Fox News has an app that lets you stream the station live. Maybe you can find someone to set you up with a cable logon. I still have a Comcast logon connected to my parents’ cable so I should be able to watch it that way.

  14. Question for those with Kids

    I have a friend with two kids. I bought her daughter the first of a book series for Xmas and got something else for her son. She recently told me that her little girl LOVES the book and I’d like to send her the second book so she can read it over summer vacation. Do I have to also send something for the son? I normally would but I just can’t think of anything and I hate the idea of wasting money on a filler present for no reason. Her son is not a reader.

    • Senior Attorney

      No. Just say no. This is a special thing between you and the little girl and I think that’s okay.

    • Anonymous

      No. He will just have to cope and she will have to parent. It’s a lovely idea to send the next book.

      • pockets

        I don’t understand this mentality at all. There is no need to impose a “life lesson” on someone else’s child, or make your friend navigate an annoying child situation. Call your friend and ask if there’s something small you can also send her son so that he doesn’t feel left out. If she thinks it’s unnecessary, she’ll tell you.

        • Senior Attorney

          When I was a little girl, back before the earth had cooled, my mom had a friend who had the same (fairly unusual) name as me. She would send me gifts from time to time and it was always really special. She never sent anything for my brother and it would never in a million year have occurred to anybody in the family that she should have done so.

          Honestly, I don’t get this thing where no kid can every have anything unless the other kid gets something, too. So maybe the brother will feel left out for what? Maybe 30 seconds? He’ll live, the parents will live, it won’t be the end of the world.

          And you kids? Get off my lawn!!

          • Anon

            HAHAHA. This is great. My mom (who I think is about 10 years your senior, SA), likes to say “Back when I was X age, when dinosaurs roamed the earth…”

            :)

          • Anon

            What do you want to send him – a trophy for participation?

            Clearly I don’t like this whole “everyone has to be equal” mentality.

          • pockets

            I have a little sister and brother, and for years I would give my old clothing to my sister. Turns out this made my brother felt really left out and that my sister got everything while he got nothing from me. The only way I even knew is because we all went to the mall together (he was probably 8 or 9) and he asked me to get him a baseball cap and when I said no he cried about how my sister always got “new” clothes from me and he never got anything. Yes, this was a total overreaction on his part and his feelings were totally illogical, but that’s the dynamic and we had to work with it, not try to change him. I could have stood my ground and told him that he was being silly and that my sister and I could have something without him being involved, or I could have bought him a baseball cap to make him feel better and called it a day.

            My point is that there might be some family dynamic at work. I know it’s not the end of the world, but there is a vast expanse between “more annoying than it’s worth” and “end of the world.” A simple phone call will determine whether and the extent of this issue.

          • tesyaa

            It’s one thing if there are 5 or 6 siblings and/or cousins. I wouldn’t treat a whole brood just because I had something special for one. But with 2 kids, it seems mean not to send something small. It’s perfectly within the OPs right not to do so, of course.

    • Anonymous

      Go on Amazon and look up stomp rocket. I got one for my friend’s son (he’s 6) and it was cheap and a huge hit! It was a suggested gift by age range on Amazon. Amazon is my new go to for gifts – just search “toy for 6 year old boy” and then sort by top ratings and it’s a great way to find birthday gifts!

      • Katie

        I got that for my nephew for Christmas when he was five. He and the other kids spent the whole afternoon outside freezing their rears off with this toy. Inexpensive and they LOVED it.

    • Meg Murry

      I would ask first – unless the daughter just now got around to reading it, if she loved it so much chances are she already more of the series from the public library between Christmas and now.

      You could also just ask the friend if you are going to be causing major drama in sending the daughter a book but nothing for the son. Depending on the ages and mood they are in, I could see this going from “eh, a book, I don’t like books, who cares” to full on hours of wailing and crying about how life is so unfair that could be avoided by including something small for him too.

      • Anonymous

        Or, avoided by parenting better. This is just a nice extra thing. It doesn’t require any special consideration.

        • Meg Murry

          Thanks for telling me I’m a crap parent, I appreciate it. Feel free to come deal with my 3 year old mid tantrum and then tell me everything I’m doing wrong.

          If I had a heads up that a friend was sending a present to one kid and not the other, yes, I could mitigate it. I could wait until the non-present kid wasn’t around, and then help the kid getting the book open it in private. If I didn’t get a heads up, I might make a big deal “Oh look, Aunt So-and-so sent us a box! Lets open it!” and then discover that it was a present only for 1 kid after I just made a big deal about it.

          It looks like OP already responded that she ordered the book on Amazon. I think she did the right thing by letting the friend know it was coming and the friend now can deal with how to handle it as a parent. For me that wouldn’t necessarily be a second present, but more likely some other form of distraction.

          • pockets

            pretty sure Anonymous @ 12:18 doesn’t have kids :). Any parent knows that 95% of children’s temper tantrums cannot be avoided by “parenting better.”

          • tesyaa

            As a parent not just of many kids but of several kids with special needs, this whole thread is making me laugh out loud.

      • OP

        I already asked and told my friend that I will get the book. I didn’t think to ask if the son would be upset not to receive a present, and I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking since if I was asked I would feel weird saying “yes, please get him something even though this is totally not for any kind of holiday” even if he would be upset to be left out. We live far apart so I’d be sending this by amazon so there’s a chance this stuff would ship separately anyway, even if I did get him something. The “ship together” option isn’t always honored in my experience.

      • anonymama

        Yeah, if a 6 year old spends hours wailing and crying over the unfairness it is probably something that actually needs to happen to him more often so he can learn that sometimes sis gets a treat, and sometimes he gets a treat, and it is not the end of the world. (Unless you get the sense that the daughter is actually favored, in which case send the poor boy a book too).

        • pockets

          I can agree with this, but that’s probably up for the parent, not the parent’s friend, to decide.

          • Anon

            Not really, no. Parents get to decide how they handle their kids’ reactions to situations; they don’t get to control ever situation to which they’re exposed. The friend gets to decide who she gets a present for, full stop.

          • Anonymous

            It seems like the parent already did decide, by asking OP to send the book for the girl but not also suggesting a gift for the boy. It’s not up to OP to condescendingly ask “oh but shouldn’t I get boy something too?” as if the parent hasn’t already considered the possibility. If the boy is the type that will upset if only sister gets a gift, it’s likely mom has already considered this and planned to buy something herself to give to him at the same time. She just didn’t ask OP because it’s gift-grabby, whereas it’s not as much with the girl since it’s a follow-up to the original gift.

    • lawsuited

      I think you’re fine to send the book for the little girl. I have 3 categories of presents that I buy: Birthday presents, Christmas presents and I Saw This And Had To Get It For You. The last category of presents aren’t always evenly distributed, but the former two are, so I think it’s just fine. Children should learn not to keep tally of gifts in any case.

  15. Marissa

    I am in biglaw, thinking about lateraling to a comparable firm. I was hoping to get some advice as I make my decision.

    At my current firm, I am in a small and dysfunctional corporate support department with a relatively narrow practice. I do not like (and am probably not liked by) several of the senior people. However, I get good reviews, and my hours are, in all honesty, not terrible; I sometimes have bad nights and weekends, but overall, I’m billing under 2,000 hours per year, with full pay including market bonus. I am also generally able to leave work around dinnertime to go home and see my daughter for an hour or so (before getting back online and working remotely when necessary). I am hoping to have another child in the next 12-18 months, and I wouldn’t feel bad about taking a second maternity leave at my current job. That said, I had a bad stretch recently, and I am really frustrated about work overall. I have been looking at in-house openings, but they are geared toward people with broader experience than I am able to get in my department at my current firm.

    At the potential firm, the department is similarly small, but apparently the people are all nice, at all levels — I’ve spoken with some former associates, who all had good things to say. At the same time, I am the kind of person who doesn’t like having a boss, so I don’t expect the new firm to be a panacea to me in terms of environment. On the downside, they are very understaffed, which means my hours would probably be worse than at my current firm. Also, I’m sure I would feel a lot of pressure to perform at a high level in order to prove my worth and get to know the partners’ preferences, whereas I am comfortable coasting at my current firm from time to time, and I understand people’s styles and expectations and can easily gear my work product to that. And I would feel bad announcing a pregnancy within six to 12 months and taking maternity leave within 12-18 months after starting. On the upside, their practice is broader, which I suspect would make me more marketable in the future, particularly if I want to go in-house. And it sounds like they are more functional socially and politically. I was also told because they are desperate to hire, I would have a lot of leverage to negotiate employment terms, including working a reduced schedule or leaving at a fixed time most workdays (although there is no guarantee, and it may also start me off on the wrong foot to tell them that there is a window during which I am simply not available every single day). And I was told that there are definitely opportunities to make partner or counsel, although I don’t know that I really want that, or that I would be a good fit for that type of role.

    Looking at the big picture, I think the move would be a bad idea short-term from a psychological perspective but a good idea long-term from a professional perspective. I really don’t know whether to stay put or accept the new offer. What would you do? Thanks so much for any advice.

    • Hollis

      From your description of the jobs, the second one sounds better for your future growth, whether you want to stay at a firm and make partner or counsel, or if you want to go in-house. I made this change myself and while the first 6 months were hard trying to prove myself again (and I have young kids as well), I am absolutely sure I made the right move. The people are nicer and better at mentoring, the group is more functional, and I am better positioned to move up or go in-house. Really, I had no idea how unhappy I was and how much of a toll it was taking on my spouse and kids (and my own mental health) until I made the switch.

  16. laundress

    Buying a washer and dryer for the first time this month. Any recommendations or words of wisdom for someone who’s never bought big appliances?

    • Anonymous

      Get the store credit card for discount and then pay it off. 10-15% off of $2,000 is worth it!

    • anon

      Check ratings and reviews at Consumer Reports on line. Prioritize reliability–appliance repair is inconvenient and expensive. Strongly consider a top-loading HE washer. The front-loaders develop mold around the gasket that will stain your clothes. Measure your space to ensure that the pair you select will fit. And be sure to use HE detergent.

      • JEB

        We just replaced our front-loading washer with a top loading model, and it might be the most excited I’ve been in months! It was a bit of a shame, seeing as our front-loader was only a couple of years old. But the mold and mildewy smell were incontrollable. What a terrible design.

        I researched using Consumer Reports and read some additional reviews online, and it was pretty clear which washers in our price range would be reliable. Then I searched stores online to price compare the top two washers, considering also possible delivery costs.

      • laundress

        I’ve read about the top loader vs. front loader issue before. Did that come up in the context of a class action that got kicked out? It seems like I recall something on this from RBG.

        Anyway, Sweethome says that front-loaders get your clothes cleaner, hands-down… but to me, this mold issue seems to be enough of a dealbreaker to avoid them. Yuck.

        • HSAL

          I’ll counter the front-load hate and say that mine is probably 10 years old (I’ve had it for 6) and I’ve never had any type of mold/mildew/smell issue. I’ve never cleaned the gasket but pull it back and make sure nothing looks gross down in there every few months. It could be model-dependent, of course, but I just leave my door cracked all the time for airflow. I love my front loader – I’m 6 months pregnant and can’t reach all the way down into my parents’ top loader, so I’d be pretty screwed otherwise.

      • brokentoe

        Don’t know where all the hate comes from on front loading washers. I have had 3 different sets of washer/dryers (had to get new ones when I’ve moved) over the last 15+ years and have never had a problem (FTR, 2 were Amana Neptunes, current one is LG). I LOVE them.

    • Anonymous

      Read the reviews, looking for overall trends. I made up my own ratio of # high ratings to low ratings to get comfortable. I see a lot of complaints about front load washers getting moldy, and people going back to top loads.

    • same anon

      Also–If you don’t already have one, a whole-house surge protector is a good investment. Before we got ours, power surges blew out the fuses on several of our appliances. Since we had the surge protector installed, we have had no such issues.

    • Josie Pye

      Know before you go shopping whether you need a gas or electric dryer based on your hookups. If you have a choice, gas dryers are more expensive upfront and required a plumber to install (it’s an additional appointment to schedule and stay home for, possibly additional cost), but cost less to operate over the long term than electric ones. Also if it’s not an urgent situation and you can wait to purchase, Home Depot/Lowes/Sears may have Labor Day sales that offer a substantial % off.

      We don’t have problems with mold in our front loader, but we can also leave the door open when it’s not in use because it’s in our basement. If it’s in a high-traffic area, you may not have that option.

    • Mischief Managed

      I have heard about the mildew issue with front loaders….. Can anyone recommend a front loader that doesn’t have this problem? I am in the market for a new washer and would prefer a front loader so that I can run a countertop over the top of it, but I have heard such bad things…

      • Clementine

        This was a bigger issue a few years ago. We have front loaders and honestly- I just leave the door open to let the gasket dry out. That’s it. I do have a sign on the top (it’s not uncommon for other people to do a load of laundry at our house) that reminds people to leave the door open, but that’s prettymuch the extent of my special treatment.

        This might be an issue if the open door interfered with a door shutting, for example.

        Oh! And I have a Whirlpool Duet set that is made in Germany and has been awesome. It genuinely gets my clothes cleaner than other washers I’ve used.

      • New Anon

        My sense is that it’s an issue with all of them as long as you have the door closed between loads–it just never dries out in there. That said, when I had a front loader, leaving the door just cracked did the trick (though the machine was in a closet with a closed door. If it hadn’t been, the door would have swung all the way open into the way of household activities). I also had a ballet teacher in college who said that wiping the rubber portions of the door and where the door seals to the machine with a sponge dipped in bleach would do the trick. Obviously YMMV in terms of whether that works and whether you’d worry about accidentally getting bleach on clothes (I would).

      • Sutemi

        We have had 2 Kenmores (for 14 and 2 years) and never had a problem. We always leave the door ajar after a load is finished which is the recommendation to avoid mildew.

      • brokentoe

        My current LG set is about 1.5 years old and they are great. Even though I never left the washer door ajar on my 2 previous front loaders and had no issue, my LG has a magnetized door that lets the door be ajar but doesn’t let it swing out. Works like a charm. Check Consumer Reports for current model info, but I love my front loading LG.

      • Hollis

        Bosch front loader set, almost 1o years old, no mold problem. ADVICE: the pedestals that raise them up a couple of feet are worth it.

    • Bonnie

      We’ve bought our appliances through the Home Depot website. Lots of great deals, reviews and free delivery. If you buy in store, you can purchase 10% off coupons on ebay.

      • TXLawyer

        There are also usually 10% off coupons for Home Depot and/or Lowe’s in the US Post Office Change of Mailing Address packets that you can get at your local post office!

      • SC

        Home Depot also has free haul-away. And they’ll move your old appliance to another floor for a small fee.

    • Senior Attorney

      Most stores will price-match, so right before you pull the trigger on the purchase, whip out your smart phone and google the model number to see if they’re selling it cheaper anywhere else. I did that and discovered Best Buy was having a sale that day, which Sears happily matched.

      Also I’ve had front loaders for years with nary a mold problem.

  17. Lenovo Laptop

    My employer is buying me a new laptop and I have a choice among several Lenovo models. Anyone have one they like? I like the concept behind the yoga — you can flip the screen over and it becomes a tablet — but don’t know if that’s the kind of concept that’s better in theory than in practice (is it too bulky?). Also, if what I really want is portability, what size should I go for? I’ll be able to hook it up to my two full-sized screens at work and I have a big monitor at home, so what I really want is for it to be highly portable without being ridiculously small. I’m a lawyer so I really just use Windows Office plus a web browser. No big, clunky programs that require much processing power.

    • Anonymous

      I had a U Series and LOVED it. Replaced it with a Yoga 13 and it is fine, but I really really miss the portability of the U. Also, my Yoga touchscreen stopped working almost immediately. From looking at the forums, it appears this is a well-known issue and that it can (and will) be fixed by sending it back, but it is disappointing to have lost the portability and also not have the upside of the touchscreen. Not sure if new shipments have the same flaw. I got mine in the spring. Eventually I’ll send it in and maybe grow to love it.

    • SH

      We just bought a couple new yogas, and our models didn’t come with an ethernet jack or an HDMI port. We all have two screens and need to be hard-wired into the network, so we definitely wouldn’t have bought them if we knew otherwise. I’m sure there are other models that have these jacks, but you may want to double-check.

      • tesyaa

        I haven’t tried it yet, but I recently bought a USB to ethernet connector. Not sure how well it works, but it was just a few bucks.

    • MJ

      If they’ll pay for it, I love my X1 Carbon. Light, strong, rarely have any issues. Super-love it.

  18. Pippit

    Anyone have experience with Air B&B? (airbnb?) I’m thinking about using it for the first time, and I’m a little apprehensive- mostly about personal safety (I’m traveling alone). Other than picking a place with several positive reviews, any suggestions? Or is this just the way we live life now and I should get over my 20th Century hangups?
    Thanks!

    • Baconpancakes

      I’ve only had fantastic experiences with AirBnB. Look for places that treat it like a business – separate entrances or the full apartment, fast response times, firm refund or reservation change policies. And yes, positive reviews are a must.

    • Scarlett

      I love staying in places through them. I haven’t experienced any safety issues, but read the listings carefully & the profile of the person renting their space – that should help your concerns there. In general, I also research the location carefully so you don’t stay somewhere dangerous. I usually rent places that are someone’s guest house or the “full apartment” and I look for all the time rentals, not places where people also live as I don’t like the idea of staying in someone’s personal space. I think it’s a great way to get a little more for your money and to live locally when you travel. I wouldn’t do it in all cities, but it’s definitely worth considering depending on where you’re going and what experience you’re looking for.

      • Scarlett

        PS – be really sure of your travel dates, many places have strict cancellation policies that are not flexible at all so be certain of your plans when you book.

    • CountC

      I used it to book accommodations on my last solo vacation and was very happy. I did what others have suggested – I read the reviews on AirBnB, went to Yelp, and did a general Google search. I was not going to an area that is high crime, so I didn’t see any additional danger in using it. I rented a small cottage on a property that had two other cottages. They also had a website that matched up exactly with what they put on AirBnb. You have to take a little bit of a leap of faith with these things, but doing your due diligence cuts down on the risk.

    • Brit

      That’s how I stayed on my trip to Florida two weeks ago and it was great (so if you’re going to Miami, I know a great place in Miami Beach). Agree with everyone above about looking at their location and reading reviews; I stayed in places where I only had a room, not the whole apartment and they were great – each place had it’s own bathroom for me and I didn’t feel like I had to be in by any sort of “curfew,” I was just respectful of the fact that they may be sleeping when I came in.

    • anon

      If you decide to rent only a room, and not an entire apartment, be careful about listings with pets. We ended up in one that had dogs so mean the owner told us never to be in a room alone with them. That made us nervous about leaving our room every time we needed to use the kitchen or even just walk to the door — turned out that the owner kept the dogs (little dogs!) with him all the time, but what if he didn’t? We didn’t know if we could trust him to supervise them. And they were definitely mean; they tried to bite us even with the guy right there. None of this was in his extremely good reviews — just that he had dogs.

    • Chitown

      Ditto everything above. Read the reviews, don’t just look at star ratings, particularly if safety and cleanliness are important factors. I recently booked a house in New Orleans for a 30th birthday weekend, and I was surprised by the number of 4- and 5-star reviews on other houses from guys that said things like “Courtyard smelled terrible, gate doesn’t lock, bathroom had some mold issues, but all in all it was great for a bachelor weekend!”

  19. No makeup?

    Has anyone gone from being an everyday make up wearer to work to a no make up wearer to work? I normally wear concealer, powder, light eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara to work. However, I’d like to start moving toward no makeup, but am not sure that’s exactly polished/professional. Also, when I wear no makeup people tend to ask me if I’m OK (“I’m fine… really!”).

    I’m curious to know if anyone else has done something similar? Or if you feel like you need to wear makeup? I’ve had friends go from no make up to wearing make up, but none in the reverse…. Thanks!

    • Anon

      No makeup is unprofessional if your profession is a circus clown. Or a stage actor and you need it to avoid being completely washed out (and then dudes wear it too).

      Other than that? You do you.

    • Boston Legal Eagle

      I’ve gone from wearing foundation and mascara to just a BB cream. It’s basically a no-makeup look now, with a bonus of SPF coverage!

    • Hollis

      You do what’s comfortable for you. Plenty of women (and men!) wear no makeup at work.

      • Across the River

        I recently pared the eyeliner and eyeshadow from my daily routine, and I don’t miss it. No one seems to have noticed. So I’m now down to tinted moisturizer, mascara, blush — and maybe some powder if I’m shiny.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I did. The first few days my face didn’t look great. After it looked a lot better. I’m not sure if I just got used to it or if my face had to recover from the days of constant make up. Some days I still do concealer, powder, mascara and lipstick. Some days I wear none. Some days I go back to the full face. Now the full face (eyeliner, eye shadow) looks odd on me when it used to be my normal and I tend to reserve it for weekend wear.

    • anon

      My experience is that people stop asking if you’re okay once they’re no longer seeing a big contrast between makeup-face and no-makeup face. After that, better to keep going with no makeup!

    • Veronica Mars

      If you’re looking on winding down the amount that you use on a daily basis, start by stopping color (eyeshadow, blush, etc). Stick with your concealer, eyeliner and mascara. Next, I’d stop with the eyeliner and then your concealer, leaving mascara for last since it makes such a big difference. Or you could just go cold turkey. Whatever works for you and your comfort level.

    • PandaMom

      I stopped wearing makeup after my awesome (then-new) boyfriend said he preferred women without makeup and thought I was beautiful. I never wore very much to start with and never on the weekends. But it did take me a few weeks to adjust to seeing me as me, not me in makeup. But now I think I look great without makeup, and I love the freedom it has given me to go to the gym whenever I want, change clothes, etc. without worrying about getting makeup on stuff, taking it off, or reapplying.

      Carrying yourself with confidence goes a long way.

  20. Sakina

    Ladies I got a job offer in NYC!!! I’m over the moon! I’ll be moving here for at least a year! I feel like a real ‘rette now, haha.

    Also thanks for the reading glasses recs the other week – ended up with nerd-tastic Fanny’s frames and will get my prescription put in at Optical 88. I figure I will be wearing them all day at work, so went prescription.

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