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We've mentioned Ferragamo's classic pump, Carla, before (most recently during our discussion of specific styles for “investment heels”) but something about the shoe is really calling my name this week — I love that taupe, the bow, and the reasonable 3″ heel. Bluefly has a few lucky sizes of a fuchsia color, marked down to $400, and Zappos has a few more colors (including a great new style with piping). Salvatore Ferragamo Carla Pump Two lower-priced options are here and here (flat). (L-all)Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
I’m 33. Is that too old for the Bean Boots that are all the rage? I know they’ve been a classic with New Englanders for much longer than they’ve been a co-ed trend. I just happen to be in need of some casual snow boots for DC’s occasional snows.
Ellen
Yay! I love Ferragamo, Kat, and these pump’s, but Dad does NOT like me to spend this much on pump’s, b/c I need to save for Retirement he says! FOOEY!
As for the OP, you are NOT to old to wear Bean Boot’s. You are onley 1 year younger then me and hopefully need to wear them in the winter. I recomend them for NYC all the time b/c leather get’s all messed up with the salt and the poopie in the snow that we all step in every day.
I recomend the 8″ pair with Goretex for onley $189. If I step in poopie, it can be washed away, as you can see from the picture.
http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/35474?feat=506588-cprrtop
Also, the tread on the bottom make’s it less likely you will slip and fall on your tuchus, like I do. I do NOT wear Fry boot’s any more b/c of this. YAY!!!!!
Selma
Well spoken Ellen, though you will never find a husband wearing these clunkers.
Sydney Bristow
I hope not. I’m 32 and have them. For what it is worth, I saw a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker wearing them last winter. I don’t think there is an age thing. They are great quality boots.
Anonymous
LL Bean is appropriate for any age.
Veronica Mars
Bean boots are always acceptable because they’re so functional. If they happen to be trendy one season, so be it.
Anon
+1
Also this is hilarious to me. These boots are the epitome of function over fashion. I wonder if a group of fashionistas banded together and were like “okay we’ve got to do something…our feet are freezing and killing us…if we ALL wear these, then it will be trendy, right?!?!?!”
Meanwhile every middle-aged woman in New England is all “we’ve been wearing these FOR YEARS!!! and the same pair, because they last forever!!!!”
Sydney Bristow
I almost wish they didn’t last forever. I have a pair that is slightly the wrong size but I kept them because I was desperate. I can’t justify buying a new pair when the ones I have are in such great shape.
tesyaa
Yes, you can. Don’t wear shoes that are the wrong size, even snow boots.
Killer Kitten Heels
LL Bean has a really liberal replacement/return policy (I’ve heard tales of them taking back shoes with YEARS on them) – I’d start by calling customer service.
Anonymous
they have def changed that policy- its like pulling teeth now. They give you a huge guilt trip, and then they charge you later for an exchange fee without telling you.
Sydney Bristow
That is a good point Killer Kitten Heels. I’ve heard that too. My husband is an LL Bean evangelist and he’s mentioned that too. I’ve just been wearing extra socks but maybe I’ll exchange them for a smaller pair.
Katie
Since when did they change their policy? In May I returned a year-old item that came apart and they replaced them with no issue and no fee.
Anonymous
Interesting Katie- I tried to exchanged a pair of 2 year old $80 slippers that disinigrated and the customer service was rude but finally relented and they later sent me a bill for 6.50. They claimed they advertised the 6.50 charge but they only did for returns, not exhanges. This was also in May
TBK
Huh? Maybe it’s because I’m a native New Englander, but how can you EVER be too old for Bean boots? Also, had no idea they were a trend. Makes me a little sad, actually. Things have gone downhill ever since LL Bean started showing up in malls. The quality just hasn’t survived. If LL Bean is now trendy, God help us. New England will never be the same.
Renee
Hmmm, 34 here. I think Bean boots are classic, and we in our 30s can wear them, but a cute coed or recent college grad wearing these is going to achieve a level of cool that I don’t think we in our 30s can achieve. Am I wrong? I mean if we in out 30s want to look cool, I don’t think we can achieve it by turning to items like this the way a younger person can who’s wearing them – how do I say it – ironically or as a vintage piece? And if we wear the new bright colors they offer, I think we’ll look like a school teacher or one of those moms who wears clothes that match with her kids. That said, I would absolutely wear them for comfort and to be casual or outdoorsy!! Same goes for the Bean barn coat!
MJ
PSA–Nordstrom Rack just got a serious restocking, including some Aquatalia boots (which I never see on their site).
Nice Advice?
The post yesterday regarding the woman whose husband had been messaging other women was of special interest to me. I have been dating a wonderful, wonderful man for about a year who I’m very much in love with.
Recently, he mentioned to me that occasionally I make jokes that are hurtful to him – little quips or teasing remarks that I think are funny but he doesn’t like. I fully understand why they bother him and would like to stop – I think it would probably be for the best for other relationships / friendships as well if I were to stop making these comments altogether and I would really like to stop.
I’ve been trying to be more careful about being aware of what I’m saying / joking about. Does the Hive have any further suggestions about ways to be more thoughtful about what you say and joke about? My situation is a little different from the one described yesterday in that I rarely say anything unnecessarily harsh when I’m angry or frustrated, but more when I’m being playful or joking. Any tips?
Pearls
What do you feel is behind your comments? Sounds like you recognize that what you say could be hurtful….but do you know WHY you say these things?
Nice Advice?
I don’t think there’s anything in particular behind my comments, other than that I grew up in a family where we playfully teased each other a lot and I think of a little teasing as a sign of affection. Typically the things I joke about seem fairly harmless to me, but I realize that what is innocuous, playful teasing to me may come across very differently to others.
Anon
I grew up in a family that likes to joke and tease also, only I never found it funny and often found it hurtful. Maybe you are different, but these comments always had a hint of truth to them and it would sting. I was a sensitive child and took these things to heart. Now I can handle a fair amount of it/try to ignore it, but every now and then something will hurt my feelings. So I would think about if what you are teasing about is related to an insecurity or something like that.
Anonymous
+1
Stop this.
It isn’t funny and you are damaging your marriage.
Nice Advice?
Thanks. Baconpancakes gave me some very interesting insight below and made me realize that the things I tease him about are actually things I really love most about him. For example, we both really love old movies; I said something along the lines of him having “old man” taste in movies. (This is what prompted him to say that my jokes aren’t funny .) We watch a lot of retro movies together, go to screenings, discuss them, etc, and I tell him frequently how much I enjoy doing these things with him, and so I was surprised that he would find it hurtful. I have come to realize how much it undermines these positive things when I make jokes, so thank you to everyone who has commented and helped me to realize more what is behind this. Moving forward, I can mentally swap out a “joke” for the more positive statement that I really mean: “I can’t wait to see what movie you pick for us tonight!” rather than “Which ‘old man’ movie are we watching tonight?”
Killer Kitten Heels
You seem really invested in this being seen as “playful teasing,” but if your partner is telling you that your “jokes” are hurting his feelings, you’re not actually being playful – you’re being mean. Stop making excuses for yourself, and start paying attention to why you “playfully tease” people you care about by poking their soft spots. I’m betting you’ll find it much easier to stop yourself from continuing to do this when you stop giving yourself a pass on this and start categorizing the behavior in your own mind as unkind (and I’m betting there’s more to this than “I grew up this way and I think it’s funny,” but you’re never going to figure out what that more is if you don’t even acknowledge what you’re really doing).
This
I also grew up in a family that had “edgy” humor that was often targeted at others.
It’s not cool and something that you need to stop, cold turkey.
It feels good not to have that sort of “edge” in your relationships.
Anonymous
Christ, it seems like OP was pretty open about the idea that her humor could be hurtful, and people here are jumping all over her. What is all this talk of “targets” as if she’s deliberately seeking out people to bully?
I was raised in the south by a pack of New Yorkers with a similar sense of humor and then went to law school, which also has a lot of that sort of humor. Other posters may not believe it, but there really are a lot of people out there who share humor this way. I, too, went through the realization that OP is going through and trained myself to back off. But if it’s what was her social norm, that’s what she knows- its not like she’s doing this deliberately to hurt people and be mean and nasty.
OP, here’s what I did. Make a point to observe your friends’ different ways of showing both humor and affection. See when they overlap and don’t. See that there are different kinds. Mirror the ways that particular individuals show you their love and humor. Friend A loves sarcastic humor, and y’all have talked about how you both grew up with it? Keep on with it. Friend B doesn’t? Stop with her. Continue to pay attention to the things you say to others.
Another thing that I did was I exchanged my sarcastic humor for self-deprecating humor. This may not work for you (and I’d try to avoid it at work), but it allows me to exercise my teasing humor but doesn’t hurt anyone else. I’ll still be sarcastic about other things, but just not individuals.
Good luck. It is possible to change this behavior. And you are not a bad, mean, harmful, evil person. Ironic that the ones complaining about how mean you are are tearing you down.
Baconpancakes
Different people do legitimately use what seems to you and me as “mean teasing” as a form of affection. It’s fine if your friends and loved ones feel the same way about the teasing, but if it does hurt someone’s feelings, and you recognize that your quips aren’t being taken with their intended meaning, yes, you stop. Some families playfully punch each other on the arm, too, and that’s ok – with those family members.
To the OP: As a side note, are you from the Northeast? An ex of mine explained that it’s a New England thing, because directly expressing your feelings isn’t done there. I solved the problem by ending that relationship and dating a Southerner.
I’m not sure how you would stop making those comments, but I think the main issue is putting yourself in your friends/SO’s shoes. How do they show affection? Mirror that. The type of teasing you’re describing is the kind popular among teen girls, a group not particularly known for their kindness. Examine why you make these comments. If you tease your SO about his growing paunch, are you cloaking your expression of love for your SO’s body and your physical relationship with a joke that points to your feelings by saying something contrary to what you mean? Try expressing your feelings more directly. You’ve recognized that your jokes aren’t funny to a lot of people, and the thin-skinned population of the world thanks you for it.
January
“To the OP: As a side note, are you from the Northeast? An ex of mine explained that it’s a New England thing, because directly expressing your feelings isn’t done there. I solved the problem by ending that relationship and dating a Southerner.”
This is funny because it’s true.
Killer Kitten Heels
Bacon, I know this is kind of minor, but I really don’t like the idea of referring to the targets of OP’s “humor” as “thin-skinned” – it normalizes what OP is doing and makes her targets into “weirdos who can’t take a joke,” and I don’t think that’s an accurate or useful framing for OP or her situation.
Also, as a recovered “playful teaser,” I can tell you that you stop yourself from making mean jokes by (1) admitting that you’re being mean; (2) committing to not being mean anymore; and (3) apologizing to your target, WITHOUT equivocating or minimizing or making excuses, as soon as you become aware you’ve crossed the line.
Nice Advice?
Thank you – this is very helpful and very insightful! I am from the Northeast AND he is from the South… I hadn’t realized maybe some regional differences are into play. Not that it excuses anything, but interesting insight.
You hit on something very important that I hadn’t realized – I often tease him about the things I love MOST about him. I also frequently tell him directly that I love these things about him, but I now realize that I am probably undermining that direct communication by joking about it as well.
A few responses to this have reinforced for me how crucial is is that I stop doing this. Believe me, I have felt really awful since my boyfriend brought it up – I do not want to do anything that would be hurtful to someone I care so much about and I’m not trying to make excuses about why it should be OK for me to continue. I have more or less stopped “cold turkey”, but was just wondering if anyone else had addressed this in themselves and had some advice.
TBK
Wow. I’m from NE and husband is from the South and I definitely say things he things are mean or hurtful sometimes. I’ve gotten SO MUCH better since we’ve been married, but still things slip sometimes. I never thought of them as regional, but that makes SO MUCH SENSE OMG. I mean, I knew the fact that my form of conversation typically involves everyone interrupting each other over and over again was a NE thing. But the teasing thing, I never realized.
Blonde Lawyer
TBK – I will never get my husband to understand the New England Irish Catholic interupting. He also doesn’t get playful teasing but I figured that out pretty early on and was able to stop. The first time it was an issue was when we were in college and I jokingly said “ugh, I hate you!!” and he responded all serious “woah, hate is a strong word. It is like love. You only say it if you mean it.”
Anonymous
Teasing is a major part of my cultural heritage. If someone were annoyed by it, I’d tell that someone “this is me. I love you. And I tease.” And they can either toughen up or leave me. I’m not giving up my culture and who I am for some whiny baby.
Killer Kitten Heels
So anyone who is hurt by you saying something unkind to them is a “whiny baby”? Wow. That’s just… wow.
Killer Kitten Heels
Side note: my dad, a veteran “teaser” of the “just toughen up” variety, has taken your exact position on this issue, Anonymous. His adult children haven’t spoken to him in over a year and his wife of 30 years finally couldn’t take it anymore and divorced him. So, you know, I guess it’s good he’s free of all of us whiny babies?
Anonymous
Or? Just possibly? There is a huge difference between mild teasing in a loving relationship with someone who obvi doesn’t mind it that much because they just decided they want to spend their life with you anyway, and abusive teasing that destroys a family. Quite possibly your personal experience isn’t everyone’s? Idk why you insist on declaring that teasing cannot possibly be acceptable. Of course it can. It can also not be.
Killer Kitten Heels
I never said it wasn’t acceptable to tease, don’t put words in my mouth. What’s unacceptable is categorically dismissing anyone who tells you that you said something that hurt their feelings as a “whiny baby.” My anecdote wasn’t directed at the OP – it was directed at your ridiculous assertion that anyone who is hurt by teasing is a whiny baby who should be cut out of the teaser’s life for not being tough enough, or something.
Sarabeth
Um, great? This seems actively unhelpful as a comment to someone who has said that she does want to continue her relationship.
Senior Attorney
I think you are perfectly entitled to take that position, but if I were the “whiny baby” in question I would totally leave and feel like I’d dodged a major bullet.
OP: I love Baconpancakes’s suggestion of mirroring the way your SO shows affection.
Anonymous
Exactly. Which is awesome. I just hate that mild teasing that occasionally bothers someone is basically being called out as abuse. It’s not. It’s a completely normal thing lots of people are fine with. If it really bugs you, you don’t date someone who does it.
Killer Kitten Heels
Where did anyone use the word “abuse”? People said she’s being mean – which, hey, she is. Not intentionally, and she’s working on it, which is great, but still – if someone says “don’t do that, it hurts my feelings,” and the other person continues to do the hurtful thing, that person *is* being mean. It doesn’t make them a bad person, or a mean person, or any kind of person at all – it just means that, in this one area, the person is engaging in a behavior that’s mean.
You’re actually being way more defensive about this than the OP herself (well, plural “you”s, perhaps, I can’t tell whether you’re all the same or different Anonymouses). Why are you so invested in teasers being “normal” and those of us saying teasing isn’t okay being the over-reactors here?
Nice Advice?
Thank you very much for this – I had been feeling pretty bad about hurting my boyfriend’s feelings when I posted the original questions, and the early responses made me feel way worse. Thankfully it evened out a bit and I’ve gotten some really helpful feedback that I think will make my relationship better. I assume you are the same anon from above so thank you so much for easing my sudden paranoia that I was a terrible person :)
Anon
KKH, why are YOU so invested in labeling people who grew up with this sort of humor as “teasers” and “abnormal?”
Come on. You can debate the merits of teasing humor v. non-teasing humor, but your posts keep making the inherent assumption that “teasers” are “abnormal” and must be stopped. You don’t get to declare that one perspective is “normal” and one is not. Accidentally saying something that hurts someone’s feelings, without the intention of doing so, is simply not abnormal, pathological behavior.
lawsuited
KKH, I noticed that you used the word “target” several times in your comment up-thread which is pretty charged language that, at least to me, made the discussion feel like it was about something more akin to abuse and less like teasing/distasteful jokes.
bridget
…and if you love someone, you also change to accommodate them. It’s called compromise and putting the other person first.
Sarabeth
I’ve been on the opposite side of this. My husband has a tendency to make funny-because-true jokes, and I just don’t want him doing that when I’m the subject. It feels mean. We’ve talked about it, and he works very hard not to do it anymore. Occasionally he slips up, and I speak up in the moment, and he apologizes. I think this last part is crucial – he’s human, so he’s going to make mistakes, but we’ve talked it out enough that I trust him to react well when I point it out. Because we have that underlying level of trust, it doesn’t really damage our relationship anymore.
Nice Advice?
Thank you for this perspective. I think my boyfriend would be inclined to agree with your perspective – he likes my sense of humor a lot, but not when it’s directed at him, which is more than fair. Thanks for sharing what works for you – very helpful!
Anonymous
My husband and I always joke and tease each other, I suppose we are fortunate we are on the same wave-length there. So I don’t think you are a mean-spirited person at all for being a teaser! He definitely is the one doing most of the jokes, and I’m his favorite material. Which is fine with me because he is legitimately funny, and keeps me laughing, which is one of the things I love the most about him. But every now and then, he crosses the line and gets into an area that I’m more sensitive about, and I’ll look him in the eye and just say, “stop”. And we move on, done deal. I don’t even expect an apology, really, I know he can’t read my mind about what might push my buttons, I have to communicate that to him, especially because I’m not particularly sensitive about teasing in general. Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and find out, is he really uncomfortable with all of the teasing, or are there one or two subjects that really should be off-limits that you just don’t know about?
Trish
If you were raised in a family of teasers, you aren’t likely to change. You have to work really hard to stop it, and he has to work really hard to accept it. Period.
CountC
I think it’s important to distinguish between your intent and how it makes your husband feel. I’m all in on everyone’s feelings being valid so, even if your intent was not to be mean, if he feels that you are being mean, then that’s a problem (which you already know). I like the suggestion above of talking to him about whether it’s an across the board it makes me feel X when you tease me or is it a it makes me feel X when you tease me about X, Y, Z. If you have grown up in a family of teasers, it will definitely be hard to break, but knowing more about how your husband feels and if there are certain topics you must not tease about will be helpful.
Good for you for wanting to work on this.
Bonnie
Is comment subscription no longer an option?
Anon
Apparently not.
DisenchantedinDC
Posted this earlier, but it ended up on the dreaded “newer comments” page – I would love some law school care package ideas for a 1L for midterms? She is not a coffee or alcohol drinker. So far I’m definitely going to do a good luck card and a movie theater box of her favorite candy.
I did my graduate degree while working and it’s not in law, so my midterms experiences were a little different. I want to put a note with what I’m sending on my calendar now so it hopefully won’t totally sneak up on me…
JJ
It could totally depend on where she goes to school, but most law schools don’t have midterms and only have finals. The “finals” crunch is usually from Thanksgiving to mid-December, so I’d recommend iTunes giftcards (if she likes to listen to music while she studies), candy, and anything else that will make her happy while spending hours upon hours staring at her books. Maybe you could send ready-made healthy meals from some local company that she can just heat up?
DisenchantedinDC
I checked the school’s calendar and she does have mid terms. But I didn’t realize that wasn’t common, so I guess it’s a good thing I looked it up!
Brunette Elle Woods
I had one or two midterms as a 1L, but it was mostly for the students to get used to the exams. It was more of a practice exam that counted for a small percentage of your final grade and generally only one or two classes had them. Definitely focus more on finals! Snacks and meals are ideal along with some office supplies such as highlighters, pens, flags and binder clips! If she has a favorite snack or candy, definitely send those along with an encouraging card. I found that to be the most helpful and I still have the card my friend sent me during the bar exam.
Anonymous
Literally anything. My favorite was from a friend who clearly just went to town in CVS. Candy, travel sized contact solution, sparkly pen, gum, random plastic good luck toy. It was all about someone from outside my little world recognizing that I might need good wishes.
Anonymous
all the great office supplies.
also, gift card to the snack bar at her law school (or quarters for the vending machines).
I went through epic numbers of highlighters, post its, flags and index cards.
AttiredAttorney
Fun study materials – cute sticky page flags, those post-its that have funny sayings, a really awesome highlighter, etc. While the candy is a nice idea, I would have loved some healthy snacks to avoid the vending machine during exams (Lara bars, bags of almonds, freeze dried fruit, many things from Trader Joe’s). Ear plugs.
bridget
One of my friends mailed me freshly-baked Tollhouse cookies. Years later, I still remember it.
Jules
Or a semester in law school might drive her to caffeine and alcohol . . .
Skype interview tips
I have an interview that will be done via Skype with a panel, mostly academics. Part of the interview is making a PowerPoint presentation–they have already provided the topic. The presentation is 10 minutes long, the actual interview will follow, about 40 minutes. Overall I think I will be on this call for about 1 hour. Does anyone have experience with this either as an interview/interviewee? I know I should be well versed in the topic. Any other tips, including tips on dressing, tech tips etc.? Thanks in advance.
F
Interesting. Any chance this interview is with a fairly large, well-respected university in the Boston area? My boss told me they are interviewing for his superior and that that position requires that the applicant do a powerpoint presentation.
I gather 2 candidates have already done their presentations. One candidate was just terrible, but the other’s presentation was pretty good…
Skype interview tips
OP here: No, this is not for a school in the Boston area, or even in the same state. If it matters, this is for a research position.
Anon
Rehearse the tech component ahead of time. My fiancé had two of his dissertation committee members attend his defense via Skype, and he and some fellow students did a dry run of the Skype/powerpoint/etc. a few days ahead of time, figured out the optimal placement, etc., so that there were no fumblings the day-of.
Baconpancakes
Wear blue or another neutral color for you, don’t wear white or black. If you have long hair, let it down or half down but don’t touch it – because your interviewers will only see you from the front, so a bun or a ponytail can look severe. Think about the wall behind you, and the lighting – make sure there’s lots of yellow light shining on surfaces around you but not directly on you. Avoid a coffee shop for an interview.
Runner 5
I just found out that my high school English teacher who changed my life is seriously ill and am feeling a bit shellshocked. I hadn’t seen her in years but imagined she’d always be kind of unstoppable, you know? Any advice on how to deal with it?
Anonymous
Can you write her a note and tell her exactly that, that she changed your life and you feel she’s unstoppable?
Runner 5
I don’t have a mailing address or email address for her – would sending a message like that via FB be too informal?
TOS
Can you send it via (c/o) the school?
anonymama
Not too informal, and I think better to send the message via facebook than never get around to sending it at all. It’s the words that matter, not the method of sending them.
Anonymous
Yes – Facebook is NOT appropriate.
Sending her a heartfelt hand written note is so important and lovely. These gestures are among the most important things you can do for someone facing the end of life.
Carrie...
Yes. She will re-read the card again and again.
She is not of the Facebook generation. Take the time and mail a note. So thoughtful of you.
Anonymous
Counterpoint to Carrie: my mom is 60 and she uses Facebook more than I do (I’m 26). Like she joins communities of like-minded people and has made new friends that way, both online and IRL. I just look at friend’s engagement and baby pictures.
Mpls
This is where phone books might still be useful (looking up addresses) if you know someone who still lives in town. And has a phone book. Or the internet white pages.
TOS
Write her the letter you feel she deserves for the changes she inspired, because you know that your time to express that is finite, even if she does recover. Illness can be a lonely journey if everyone thinks that someone ELSE is writing that special something. Send a funny card – anything that reminds them of vitality, that they matter, even when seriously ill – that’s what’s driving your reaction, right?
There seems to be a dawning awareness that you’ve been doing your bit up until now, and perhaps you, or others will hear a call to do more?
None of us are unstoppable – we inspire each other to make progress, in one form or another.
Take care, and connect with some others who remember her and can do a few little things to brighten the journey.
Baconpancakes
I’m sorry to hear about your teacher, but on a side note, are you in training to be a runner for the zombie apocalypse?
Anonymous
this is really inappropriate
Baconpancakes
Her handle is Runner5 – I was asking whether it was a reference to “Runner Five,” the main character in the Zombie 5K running training app.
KT
Can we talk about bow heels like these? I always thought bow-detail shoes were a bit cutesey for the workplace, but they keep coming up…is this something that would pass in your conservative office? Or will I be the manic panic dream ditz girl?
Anonymous
These would be completely fine. All the female partners wear them.
Cat
Senior associate. Bows like these (tailored) are not only acceptable, but popular. I have them in black and wear them constantly. Female partner down the hall has 4 different styles (two kitten heel, one Carla, one similar but higher heel) all with this same grosgrain bow detail.
The giant Valentino type bow shoes would be a bit much for my office.
Em
I love my varas.
As for the valentino bow, I kid you not, a partner track senior associate wears them regularly to the office. (biglaw, nyc)
Susie
I love my varas.
As for the valentino bow, I kid you not, a partner track senior associate wears them regularly to the office. (biglaw, nyc)
Anon
I’ve given these shoes a MAJOR side-eye both times they’ve been featured. My etiquette teacher in the ’90s wore them with her upholstered headbands and chin-length bob and calf-length pleated skirts. These shoes for me belong solely in the purview of someone named Muffy who wears tennis sweaters tied around her shoulders, not a working professional woman.
TOS
I struggle with bows as well. Even if they are popular. I blame the Eighties. ;)
AIMS
I tend to agree, but it would totally pass assuming you are not otherwise all covered in bows and other frills.
Someone down the hall from me wears the (nearly) flat version of these these with an otherwise very plain, almost masculine wardrobe and it looks very chic. I can see it being too much on someone else. I also, personally, am not a fan of shoes that are so obviously expensive, for lack of a better word for it. I’m not sure how many people are actually aware of Ferragamos and the bow, etc., but I wouldn’t feel comfortable in these.
Bonnie
I think bows are generally fine so long as you’re not wearing all pink.
RED
Agree with the above comments that these are fine so long as the rest of your outfit isn’t frilly.
Random side note: When I was in high school, my dad would tell me that “every young lady entering the professional world should have a pair of Ferragamos”.
(Wow I sound like ELLEN!)
Veronica Mars
I agree. I want a pair but they’re so expensive!
Veronica Mars
Shamefully, I think 4 out of my 5 pairs of flats have bows on them (and that’s including the miniwedges!). I’ve just decided that I don’t care.
Renee
I would spot these as Ferragamo from a mile away and be impressed. I might be wary of cheaper versions of this style looking frumpy, but these are great.
Susie
Speaking of pumps, I finally got around to putting heel grips in some of mine and what a game changer! They are staying on my feet so much better thus making it much easier to walk.
New Tampanian
IN them?? That’s a thing?? This sounds amazing
Susie
I got these, and am using them for the first time today. I can’t really feel them at all, except that my heels are not coming out when I walk!
Susie
whoops forgot link http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008S9O67I?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00
Susie
I got these, and am using them for the first time today. I can’t really feel them at all, except that my heels are not coming out when I walk! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008S9O67I?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00
WWYD
The founding partner here is of an older generation and many of his comments/actions are indicative of that (as in he laments the day women were allowed into his law school bc “the pool had to be closed down during certain hours just for them”). He clearly believes women still belong in the kitchen. I’ve learned to let very many many many things go in this regard. However, I hate seeing each incoming female law clerk realize that this attitude is still “a thing.”
Case in point: at a meeting today, the partner called out a female law clerk for dressing too casually (she was wearing a slightly wrinkled and untucked button-down with dress slacks). Notably, the partner’s shirt was a white Hanes undershirt that was so thin that we could clearly see the air conditioning was set too high. When the other (male) partner and I came to the clerk’s defense, the founding partner loudly stated, “Ladies should dress better than men.” Full stop.
Later, I took her aside and told her not to take it personally, but clearly the damage had been done. There was a discussion a few weeks/months ago about mentoring younger women in the office. I am of a similar age to the incoming clerks. How do I help them deal with it, when I have to deal with it on a daily basis myself?
Susie
Eww, he was wearing just an undershirt with nothing over it?!? Now that is not work-appropriate!
Killer Kitten Heels
I don’t think there’s anything to “help” them with here, other than to just confirm for them that yes, this dude thinks that way, no, he’s not the only one, and yes, they will be expected to tolerate it if they continue to work for your firm. Be someone they can turn to when they need to confirm reality – don’t be an apologist for founding partner and his ilk. The best, most helpful people for me in my career of dealing with various stripes of “how is that attitude still a THING?!” have been the people who have been willing to lend an ear without trying to make excuses for it.
bridget
“When the other (male) partner and I came to the clerk’s defense, the founding partner loudly stated, “Ladies should dress better than men.” Full stop.”
My response to men like that – granted, not in a professional context – is usually “My grandfather was a WWII veteran, a staunch Catholic, and a Republican, and he was proud of me for becoming an engineer. Even if you can’t join the twenty-first century, please try to catch up to the level of men born in the 1920s.”
Miz Swizz
I’m looking for some short-sleeve sweaters to wear to work. Any recs?
RED
Eric Bompard is doing their summer sale right now. They have a short-sleeve crewneck cashmere sweater (in a multitude of colors) if that’s your thing.
50 Year Old Bride
Appropriate for the bride for an outdoor late summer wedding? Second marriage for both of us.
http://www.tadashishoji.com/paillette-embroidered-lace-v-neck-dress-in-smoke-pearl-1
50 Year Old Bride
Outdoor, late-summer, daytime wedding.
Cream Tea
I love this!
Sydney Bristow
I think it is perfect! Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
I tried this dress on in navy and found the length of the straps to be fairly long, which was weird because I have a big chest. Just a heads up that you might need to get the straps shortened so budget for that time-wise.
Marie
It’s beautiful, and perfect for the occasion! Congratulations!