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Coffee Break – Resin Dot Box

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Resin Dot BoxI think this resin dot box is so, so pretty — it's the kind of thing I love to keep on my desk to put everything from post-it notes to eyeglasses inside. Of course I love the blue the best, although the green is a close runner up (it's also available in a very preppy black and white). The box was $38, but is now $19 at C.Wonder (and if you sign up for the email list you get free shipping on your first order.) Resin Dot Box (L-2) Check out more great deals at the Corporette Bargains page!

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

220 Comments

  1. A bunch of friends (including my boyfriend) are running Marine Corps marathon this weekend. I need ideas/slogans for funny, motivational signs. Anyone care to share some inspiration for this project? What’s the funniest sign you’ve seen while running a race?

      1. Uh oh, my cube neighbor just stared at me funny for laughing at this one.

    3. In addition to the signs, I would suggest cowbells, ringers, noisemakers, or something of the like. I remember cheering all day and my voice hurt – I would have loved to have something to ring as everyone was running by me.

      1. oh yeah, the cowbell. Everyone asked for “more cowbell” which always made me giggle.

    4. Just don’t do “You’re almost there” if you’re standing in the first few miles. :-)

      My favorite thing to do is spend the whole thing picking people’s names off their shirts and cheering for them in particular. Gets you lots of smiles and even a few hugs.

    5. Good luck to your boyfriend. Anon’s suggestion is funny…

      Having been on both ends (runner and a cheerleader) of that race, if you can make it out to Hains Point, it is completely desolate and there’s hardly anyone cheering on the runners. Then get over to Crystal City if you can before the treking over to the finish line. Metro is such a pain though (maybe you can cycle?).

      1. Second the suggestion to go to Hains Point. And if you can bring music that you can play for the runners, that would be awesome as well.

    7. (If your friends have seen Toy Story) “Run like the wind, Bullseye!”

    8. Definitely “Worst Parade Ever” is one of my favorites. The funniest one I ever saw was ‘Run a better race than Perry.” That doesn’t help you, but I laughed for miles afterward. Signs like “I thought they said ‘Rum”” or “That isn’t sweat, its liquid awesome” or “Pizza and beer at the finish line” ,”Race you to the finish line” are always good for a laugh.

    9. My favorite a few years ago was a sign that said “Way to go Sam, I’m proud of you!” on one side, and “Way to go Complete Stranger! I’m proud of you!” on the other.

      3. Saw this in a recent half of mine and I loved it – since I was the stranger. It’s nice to pretend it’s for you!

    10. I saw a sign at a recent marathon that said, “Smile if you peed yourself.”

    11. You can take a page out of Barbara Bush’s book. She motivated George W. by shouting, “Keep moving, George! There are some fat people ahead of you!”

    12. I saw this one on Twitter today: “If you were Paul Ryan, you’d already be at the finish line.”

      I found it funny, regardless of politics, but it may rub some the wrong way.

    13. I volunteered at an inaugural marathon this year and we played music at our water station. It went over very well with the runners. A few stopped to dance with my husband! Next year we’re doing it up big with more signs and possibly costumes.

    14. I friend of mine stood at mile 2 with a sign that said “1 mile down…25.1 to go!”

      Another sign said “Feel good now? Don’t worry, it’ll pass!”

    15. I thought “Do your feet hurt? They should b/c you’re kicking butt” was cute.

      Also, I saw “of course this is booze in my coffee cup. Why else would I be standing out here at 7 am ringing a cowbell” which was funny but I thought who could read all that? (besides the girl next to you with a mimosa in her coffee cup.)

    17. Ugh, I hate the fart/poop jokes — you see so so many of them during the course of a marathon, and they are coarse.

      Signs about kicking ass or about being proud are awesome. I like signs about countdowns to food or beer (after the halfway mark).

      During my most recent marathon, I saw a guy holding a sign saying, “I don’t do marathons, I do a marathoner. PS, I love my wife.” That was cute.

  2. Curious whether others read this week’s Modern Love column in the Times. (Link will follow.) It really irked me — both the idea of the soldier going off to fight a man’s battle while the pretty young woman goes on with her happy life, and the author’s “love” and “passion” and “sacrifice” that I think are overly romantic. Not that I don’t see that people in the military make huge sacrifices, but it seemed like this author was romanticizing himself as both the wise soldier marching into battle (plus all his other sacrifices in his post-college/pre-military years) and the true gentleman who let his great love get away because he knew she would be happier. Or maybe I am just a huge judgmental biotech.

      1. It sounds like he shouldn’t have broken up with her in the first place and only wants her back now because she broke up with him. Contrary to how he sees it, it sounds like she might be the more emotionally mature one in that relationship.

        1. PS: I hate the Modern Love column so much and yet I cannot help reading it every couple of weeks. I have yet to read one that I didn’t instantly regret.

    2. I find the article kind of weird…and also pointless. I mean if you took out the military aspect, this couple would’ve broken up anyways. They seemed unhappy even before his deployment. And most young couples who break up multiple times do not end up together in the long-term. So this reads like the all too common tale of young adults in a tumultuous relationship trying to reconcile their first love with their long-term goals. And I think that he made himself look like this big hero who is sacrificing SO MUCH to go defend our country, while she’s just a pretty young girl enjoying parties and bars. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend and my sister are in the military so they do sacrifice a lot, but it doesn’t mean that other people’s lives are pointless or that they aren’t contributing members of society because they are risking their lives on a daily basis.

      1. I agree. The guy is tryeing to get simpathy b/c he is in the military, but the girl has moved on to another guy, and is NOT interested in hanging around waiting for him. She even colored her hair from blond to red so you know she is lookeing for something way different.

        I respect guy’s who are in the military, but would NOT marry one. Fooey!

        Jim keep’s calling about due diliegence, but will schedule the week the Card’s are in the World Series? What is that about? My dad used to live in San Francisoo, and He is a big GIANT’s fan. So I do not know who I will root for to win! Yay!

        Roberta want’s me to meet her after calendear call for lunch tomorrow. I said YES, b/c she is alot of fun, and I do NOT want to have to talk to Brian, who has dirty teeth with alot of food in them most of the time. Also, Roberta does not wear a hat backward like Jim and she does not grunt all the time about baseball game’s.. He is very draining. FOOEY!

        1. I think the answer to your marriage woes is staring you in the face.

          Clearly, the one for you to marry is Roberta. Not Jim, Brian, etc. She’s professional, wants to help you in your career, isn’t an alcoholic like Alan, doesn’t have food stuck in her teeth or have bad breath.

          I may be a judgmental biotech about some things, but not about same-sex marriage.

    3. I was a judgmental biotech* about that one too. Of course she moved on under those circumstances – a somewhat holier than thou (“I’m doing things with my life and you’re not”) boyfriend dumped her and left town to join the military, and she wasn’t still waiting for him? Sounds like he’s made up an imaginary perfect woman who happens to be named “Kathryn” instead of him actually wanting to be in a relationship with a real human being. Sounds like the theater majors I dated once upon a time on the melodrama front.

      *assume that’s autocorrect. love it anyway.

      1. Actually, it’s from overheardinnewyork [dot] com [slash] archives [slash] 001395 [dot] html

    4. eh, I didn’t really get the “and the true gentleman who let his great love get away because he knew she would be happier.” he just sounds like a run of the mill d*bag, (as most people who think they are “great writers” actually sound like) and it sounds like it didn’t work out for way different reasons than he thinks. Like.. she is just not that into him. It doesn’t sound like it is the distance that was the problem.

    5. I didn’t think it was romantic at all – it seemed scary and stalker-ish to me.

    6. I think he was absolutely romanticizing himself as a warrior and the iconic soldier with the lady at home. But I think that’s the point of the column, that as the readers we can watch the lies people tell themselves. I think what is modern about this love story is exactly what you’ve identified…the writer is hanging on to ideas of himself that we recognize as absurd and anachronistic. A lovelorn soldier wandering the streets of NYC? The fact that it’s absurd is entirely the editorial point.

      I agree Modern Love is stupid sometimes. But generally, I’m a huge fan. I think the column taken as a whole undermines traditional notions of love, marraige, and gender in coupling in a way that is very refreshing and satisying to read.

    7. I felt like it was fairly emotionally blackmail-y of him, and I hoped that “Kathryn” wasn’t her real name.

    8. He seemed overly romantic, to the point of romanticizing an awful woman. And the article seemed like an attempt, way too late, to win her back. It all seemed like the work of very young people – not terrible, but not terribly realistic. Like most Modern Love columns.

  3. Do you tip anything when you go into a restaurant to get carry-out? For the restaurants that have curbside, I usually tip 10% since they are bringing it out to the car. But I don’t usually tip anything when I go into the restaurant to pick up food. When I dine-in, I usually tip 20% or more based on service.

    1. I don’t tip for takeout. There’s not really “service” in takeout, IMO.

    2. I always tip 10-15% when I pick up takeout (I’ve never used curbside). Someone still had to put the food into containers, put them into a bag, make sure it was all there, etc. etc.

      And I hope this doesn’t sound too Upstairs/Downstairs but I can afford takeout and I can afford the extra ~ $5 in tip, and that extra ~$5 doesn’t really impact my bottom line. It makes a bigger difference to the person who packed up my order.

    3. I had this discussion with friends at dinner last night. They said that the person working the take-out is assigned take-out as his/her “station” for the evening. So instead of having a group of tables, he/she has the take-out location. Therefore, that person is still counting on tips to make his/her money for the evening.

      Admittedly, I’ve never worked in restaurants so I have no idea if this is correct.

      1. That’s what I was wondering and the main reason I would tip for picking up carryout inside the restaurant. Thanks all for the feedback. Was curious on what the general consensus was.

      2. At restaurants I’ve worked at, the take-out boxer-upper is a hostess, so she makes minimum hourly wage (7.50, not server’s 2.13) and gets take-out tips on top of that.

        1. I worked in a restaurant when I was in school and usually the hostess boxed up the orders at the one I worked at. But it was a nice bonus to get a tip on a takeout order! And for regulars I started memorizing their order and they would just call and say give me the usual.

        2. That’s been the case at restaurants that I’ve worked at (two family steakhouse type places), too. Seemed like a lot of people threw in $2-3 dollars, though probably not all of them.

      3. This is not true in any of the restaurants I worked at. Maybe if the place was a huge takeout place. But at all the places I worked it, its never a server handling it instead of tables. Almost always the hostess (who usually makes 10 and up an hour). I alternate between 3-5 bucks and no tip for one meal takeout, but think that not tipping is standard

      4. I had a friend who worked as a server and told me this was the case at her restaurant as well. So, I tip just to be on the safe side.

    4. I usually do but not as much as if I were eating in. I worked in 2 restaurants. In one, the waitresses took turns bagging the carryout and bringing it up front and ringing it out. It was as much work as a table, took me away from my tables, and I was still making my waitstaff wage. At the other restaurant, someone was assigned carryout for the night and made regular minimum wage instead of waitstaff minimum wage and the tips were just a bonus.

      1. I have also worked in two restaurants, and at both of them it was the first situation Blonde Lawyer describes: a server would have to take time away from his/her tables to box and bag up the order, and then ring it up. Because restaurants are often so fast-paced, this time is not insignificant. So, I do tip when I get carryout, but not as much as if I ate in, since it’s still not as much work as a whole table.

    5. The gentleman at my go-to Chinese restaurant always marks through the tip line before I sign the receipt for takeout.

    7. I sometimes do and sometimes don’t, depending on the type of take-out. If it’s something quick (sandwich, pho, burrito, etc) that I’m going to eat for lunch at my desk, rarely. If it’s a full dinner, I’ll usually tip about 10%. I really dislike it when the cashier looks to see if I’ve tipped when I hand over the signed receipt, though — it strikes me as very rude and it actually happens to me quite often.

      1. Maybe it’s their system. Some systems, you have to enter the tip before the next sale goes through. So she’d need to look at your receipt to see what you tipped, to put it in the computer. I mean…how else would it get in the system, by osmosis?

        1. It happened in the morning thread, too. I kinda of like the extra syllable – the way I pronounce it in my head makes you sound like royalty (the kind with money, not just titles).

    9. I always tip 10% minimum on takeout, 20% minimum on table service. I only go to locally owned restaurants, and I don’t eat out often, but this recession is tough, and i want those restaurants to still be there when I come back. Plus, even though I don’t make much money, I am making more than the restaurant workers, so if I can afford to eat out, I can afford to tip the people who are doing hard work.

      But I am a ridiculous tipper: I never tip less than $1, I even tip $1 on a cup of coffee because i love my local coffee shops, and, again, I want them to stay open. So, I just know in my head that a $2.50 americano actually costs $3.5o. It’s not going to make me destitute.

  4. Can anyone recommend a good brand of fleece-lined tights? I just recently learned of this amazing-sounding phenomenon and I think I need to get some, but I’m not sure where I should look for ones that aren’t too spendy and hold up decently well.

    1. I recently found Legale plush tights at a local discount outlet similar to a Marshall’s or TJ Maxx. They are fleece lined and I LOVE them.

    2. I saw some at Nordie’s Rack over the weekend. They looked thick and warm… too much so for this climate.

    3. I tried two brands before finding one that fit correctly. (I think the fleece makes them less stretchy.) DKNY fits pear-shaped me. They’re great on 50 degree days, when you want to wear a skirt and be comfortable outside.

    4. I found my go to pair at Walgreens of all places. Can’t remember the brand off the top of my head, but I imagine there aren’t too many options to get confused.

    5. Thanks! My office is so cold from mid-October to June that I’ve basically given up wearing skirts and dresses, but fleece-lined tights might just allow me to bring them back into my fall/winter/spring wardrobe.

    6. I think I bought the ones SF Bay Associate saw at the Rack :-) I have them in black and grey from Ellen Tracy. I actually like the footless ones better than the regular tights; they seem to fit me better. I wear them with thicker socks with my boots and a skirt.

  5. I’m in a long-distance relationship and it looks like my boyfriend is finally getting a visa to move from overseas to New York City!!! The idea is that I will eventually move there with him, though I live close enough (Philly) that we can see each other frequently enough in the meantime.

    I am looking forward to the experience of living in Nyc, but suddenly I’m kind of panicked at what that means. I live alone in a 2,000 sq ft house and I’m used to having a lot of space to myself. I would probably keep my current job, at least at first, and would have to work from home. Has anyone had experience with working from home out of a tiny shared apartment? Is it insane or doable?

    I work from home 1-2 days a week now, but I have a dedicated home office and I can go into our real office if I get lonely.

    1. You’ll probably go nuts in a tiny studio for 50+ hours/week, but don’t worry! There are options! If you just need space (ie a desk) and not an office per say, you can work from Starbucks, or a local library, or wherever. If you pend a lot of your time on conference calls, you should look into shared office space in NYC. Can’t point you to specifics, but they’re all over Boston. Basically, you rent out a cube/office, have access to a printer and usually a coffee machine.

    2. Not exactly the same thing, but when I was in law school I hated working in the library so I did most of my work at home. My fiancé-later-hubby and I had a 700 sq ft apartment and I didn’t have any space for a proper desk/workstation so I ended up at the kitchen table or on the couch. It was really difficult to work that way and in retrospect, I might have done better in school if I’d had a different setup or just sucked it up and went to the library more…who knows. Anyway, if you are able to carve out a space that is solely dedicated to your work, it could be okay, but I would definitely recommend apartment-searching with that in mind and not compromising on it.

      1. Joining the thread a little late, just to add another vote for NJ. I commuted from NJ to NYC for law school, and it was no big deal. It is very possible to rent an apartment/floor of a house in the suburbs, with a yard and a driveway to park in, near a train station, for the same price you would spend on a small apartment in NYC. The train lines are designed to get people in and out of NYC, so just pick a cute town with a station, and you’re set. If you want 24/7 public transport to NYC, you need to live near a PATH station – which won’t be as suburban. The bus is also an option, but less comfortable and less reliable.

    3. So it’s not an option for the two of you to stay in Philadelphia and the boyfriend commutes or teleworks? Or somewhere in between? NYC is just so expensive, fun to live in, I’m sure, but so expensive. And I live in DC, so I know from expensive, but NYC daunts me.

      Or maybe the visa situation is such that he must live in NYC. If so, forget I said anything.

      1. He unfortunately couldn’t find anything in Philly that was related to his industry (high tech) or that would give him a visa. He can most likely move to other cities where both of our companies have offices after he pays his dues in New York. It’s not the greatest situation.

        1. You can live in NJ and the both of you can easily commute to your respective offices. Plus, you’ll get a much nicer living space for the amount of money you’re paying in NYC.

      2. One of the attorneys in my office commutes from Pennsylvania to our office in the financial district (I don’t think he’s in Philly, I think he’s right by the NJ border, but still). I think this is insane, but apparently it’s doable–though I agree that living in NJ would be a good way to split the difference.

    4. You must be so excited that you two will be close enough to see each other frequently! I’m excited for you :)

  6. Professional gift question

    A very experienced ( read: practicing for 50+ years) attorney has gone above and beyond to help me with my job search, writing letters of rec, making phone calls, etc., in a very kind and helpful spirit. He is also kind of an unofficial mentor figure to me. I have sent him more than one thank you note during this process (thanks for that specific letter, or this specific phone call) but since he has done so much, I was thinking a small gift might be nice to send him. But as you might imagine, he kind of has everything already (nice pen, desk set, etc.).

    So, 1 – do you think a small gift is a good idea? Or should I just keep on with the notes?
    and 2 – if you think I should send a gift, what do you suggest?

    TYIA!

    1. I would wait until you found a job (whether with his help or on your own) and then either ask him out to lunch or maybe send him a food or wine gift with a note expressing your appreciation.

    2. Homemade baked goods! Or do you come from another part of the country/world than he does (and than where he now lives)? If so, can you pick up a food item that’s unique to your home? (e.g, I often bring people maple candy since I’m from Boston and you don’t often see it outside northern New England.) Or is there something he’s into — a sport, a kind of animal (e.g., he’s always owned Irish setters), a place he always vacations — and you could get him some little item with that theme? (Not that he couldn’t get this item for himself, but it would show that you were thinking of him.)

    3. I would guess that he doesn’t need or want anything and that a heartfelt thank-you note that says nice things about him is the best thing. But if you really want to do something, you could find out what his favorite charity (or pro bono legal organization is) and make a donation in his honor.

  7. MyFitnessPal update:

    For anyone interested, I have created a group with the utterly silly name of Lady Fitness Parties. For now it is a public group so you should be able to search for it and add yourself.

    I would welcome help from anyone who wants to be an editor for the group page, as well as suggestions for a group image, tags to add, a longer description for the group, etc.

    See you there!

    4. My friend is a huge My Fitness Pal fan and has been trying to get me to join, so here’s one more reason why I should. I’m looking online and not sure how to find groups. Do I add the group as a friend? Or is it a forum?

      1. Go to the community tab first, then you should see groups– and can search from there.

    5. Dag nab it! I’m really ignorant about these kinds of things, but I can’t find out how to add groups. Halp!? Have mercy and email me at binthebayou at the gmail dot com.

      TIA!

      1. Click on forums. On the top menu, there will be a tab for groups. Type in the group name and join!

    6. I’m tickled that you all like the name. Really glad to see new members rolling in.

      Btw, I did not use a name related to my c o r p o r e t t e handle mainly because I joined MFP before I was active here. But if you’re concerned about being connected there to your handle here, you all are welcome to join using unrelated names.

      Now I’m getting all excited about this. There is a discussion forum for the group, would love to see you all in there. Do we want to do weekly or monthly (optional) challenges for the group? Ideas?

      1. MFP is experiencing server problems today, so if you’re having trouble signing up or finding the group today, look for us tomorrow!

    8. That is awesome! I’m on my fitness pal under California1981 – I can’t do much right now, dealing with some major health issue, but once I have that under control I’ll be back to it!

  8. Pretty box! I sort of collect boxes for stashing miscellaneous items. It’s particularly nice when they’re flat on top so I can stack them up.

    Has anyone worn these Lands End corduroy leggings? They seem like a good deal and oh so cozy, but I’m not looking for new PJ pants. I want something I can wear out in public (with a tunic and a long sweater, of course.)

    http://www.landsend.com/pp/StylePage-422434_AE.html?CM_MERCH=Shopping_Cart

    Also, the ponte knit dresses on Lands End look so, so pretty. Such gorgeous jewel tones.

    1. I ordered the 3/4 sleeve pleat-front drapey ponte sheath dress from Land’s End thinking it would be the perfect work dress for no-suit-required work days. I was so, so disappointed–Land’s End idea of ponte for this dress was like a slightly thick jersey rather than the more structured fabric I associate with ponte. The fit of the dress was strange because of this. Too bad, because the color *was* beautiful.

      1. Grrr I went over to landsend b/c of mamabear’s post and I just ordered the dress you didn’t like, Brooklyn. Hopefully it will work for me. Mamabear, I’m thinking of amending my order to add in those leggings but I’m a little worried about them being “fit 2” instead of fit 1. I have a short waist so things that aren’t low rise can seem very “mom fit” on me.

        1. But the waistband would be covered, right? I’d rather have it come to my waist then have a muffin top showing through my tunic. I don’t know.

        2. Maybe you’ll like it better than I did! For my body type I need a pretty structured (vs drapey) dress style. I guess I should have been clued in by the word “drapey” in the name, but the photo fooled me, I guess. I don’t know what colors you ordered but the green (pine, maybe?) was definitely beautiful so it had that going for it.

          1. I have this in both the red and the black and I love it, though I will say that it is a borderline for pear-shaped ladies. If I’m good about working out and keeping my diet fairly clean, they fit great and flatter the one-size differential between my top and bottom. If I let things go a bit and inch towards a two-differential the skirt pulls across the front and it’s less flattering. However, I have found these dresses (and everything I’ve ordered from LE this past season) to be well made and holds up well with cleaning.

            And my absolute favorite is the drop sleeve merino cowl neck sweater dress… though I will say that a) you absolutely need a slip, and b) I really want a coordinating tissue tee to wear under it, because if it’s cold enough to wear a wool sweater dress and boots, I need tights and sleeves.

          2. I’m wearing the long sleeve pleated shoulder dress that looks pretty similar to that one, and I love it! So flattering and it looks like it did in the picture. The material is a thick jersey, but I like it a lot and I think it looks really nice, not flimsy at all. I really like their dresses this season!

    2. I have ordered two of the Lands End ponte dresses, and I love them. For what it’s worth.

      1. I have the sleeveless ponte dress. I am an 8/10 in most dresses, and typically a 6/8 in LE. I sized up to a 10 in these dresses.

      1. The ponte knit ankle pants are amazing. Wear well, wash well. Won me over to the dark side of ankle pants.

    4. I just amended my order to add the cords in charcoal. I want to try wearing them under dresses w/ boots. I will let you know how they work out.

      1. I just ordered them in black and (gratefully) tall. Will also try to remember to update. As tempted as i was by the dresses, i had to remind myself that i have unworn dresses in my closet. Im more of a skirt wearer.

  9. I wore my new Spanx tight end tights today. Love them! Unfortunately a tiny hole, probably from my music folder for the funeral where I was singing. Durn it! Anyway, they fit great and didn’t start sliding.

    Also, I just got the dates on my NYC trip! Would suggesting a meetup during my visit be out of the question?

    1. I’m had a tiny hole in the toe of my Spanx tight end tights for literally a year. The hole hasn’t expanded. Best tights ever.

      1. That’s great! I was hoping that would be the case. I bought them at DSW and wish I’d bought 2 pairs,

    2. Those are my favorite tights, by far. I’d try some clear nail polish around the hole.

      When will you be in NYC? I’m there a lot these days. Would love to hang out.

      1. That would be so much fun! I will be there Nov. 28 to Dec. 2. I have meetings on Thursday and Friday.

          1. A meet up with mamabear? Color me green with envy. The SF ladies have been trying to entice an appearance by mamabear for months now. Not to mention I’d love to meet my crescent city friend and all the fabulous NYC ladies. So jealous!

          2. SF Bay Associate, the obvious solution to this issue is for you to come visit those days too. :-)

          3. Would that I could, Sydney, would that I could. That would be so much fun! I’m sure you all will have a fantastic time :).

          5. @sfbay, awww you make me feel bad! I have truly not been available on any of the local meetup dates.

          6. Gosh, I don’t know how you can’t manage to fit in a social gathering with internet friends in with your heavy travel schedule, your workload at your job, and your responsibilities/joys as a wife and mother. I mean, jeez, mamabear! When you’re home and not working and have free time, because that happens SO OFTEN, don’t you want to spend it with us and not your kids and husband??

            I kid. We have some idea of how busy you are, and that’s probably the tip of the iceberg on how full your schedule truly is. But, we hope you can make it one of these days :).

        2. That sounds great. I’d also love to meet up. :-)

          What would you like to do? Eat? Shop? Museums*?

          My employer is a donor at a number of NYC museums, so I can get a few folks in for free or reduced admission at many of the museums. Plus, good walk-and-talk format.

          1. Yep, I was going to email you. I like to shop. When I’m there alone I eat pizza, falafel and gelato but I’m excited to eat at real restaurants. NYU (the main grantor on my grant) calls my receipts “inadequate.” One of my girlfriends from DC may be joining me for the weekend but she’s game for whatever. I’m a modern art fan so that would be fun, too, as long as it doesn’t cut into my shopping time!

    3. Just in case any of you are still looking at this – we have a Google Group to coordinate NYC meet ups! I don’t know how you might find it…. so email me at e.pontellier.r et te [at] gmail [dot] com and I’ll invite you.

  10. My pores are like. …revolting against me. I’ve had luck with the biore pore strips but I was hoping for suggestions of masks/creams/ etc easily found in target or dr u g stores. Preferably under 30 dollars? Any suggestions? I’m totally afraid of all the make your own types

    1. The Philosophy Microdelivery Peel always makes my pores disappear for a few days. The problem is it’s EXPENSIVE. Apparently Olay has a knockoff version “Olay Microdermabrasian Peel” for ~$20 but I haven’t tried that.

    2. Love your handle, sorry no help on the pore situation. Am paying attention to this sub-thread, though, because I have a similar problem and similar budgetary constraint for this.

    4. Try the Boscia Black Mask. I think it’s slightly above your suggested price range, but it’s like a Biore pore strip for your entire face. My skin always feels so smooth and soft and clean after I use it.

    5. Based on a recommendation from Future Derm (which I found through this site), I’ve been using Neutrogena Acne Wash, making sure to leave it on at least a full minute before rinsing. It has cleared up my pores a ton! I also use a mild retinol cream every night (Green Cream Level 1) and occasionally Clinique 7 Day Scrub, but I think it’s the acne wash that’s fixing the pores.

      By the way, Future Derm says pore strips are actually stretching out your pores when the sticky stuff dries, so over time they lead to more blackheads.

      1. Yup!! Can’t live without my queen helene. And soooo cheap (and yes, I’m a products junkie and this is my fave).

    7. I am going to try a homemade recipe I found with milk and baking soda…

  11. I just wanted to share with everyone that I was having a bad day. So I went back and read the thread from the time we all became teenage girls for a morning (otherwise known as the day we all talked about hot guys and our “lists”). (It was April 4, 2012 and the item of the day Spice Red Anetta Jacket). If I put the link I’ll be put into moderation.

    It made my whole day better. That was ALSO the day that some serious DOOSH whose GF had asked us for advice on whether she should break up with him came and posted a ranty post about it. We all agreed that she had made the right choice. It was a good day.

    1. Amen. That was a good day. (And I’m sorry you were having a bad day, TCFKAG.)

    2. Just went back and read that list and YOU SHARE MY NATHAN FILLION LOVE! That is all.

        1. Yes Stupid Debate! S’okay, I will just go back and rewatch last week’s because it was SO CUTE AND SO HAWT. Rick Castle is the best boyfriend EVAH!! ;o)

          1. I love the show, but I still don’t know if I’m fully on board with Caskett. I’m having a hard time believing it, thus far, I guess. Guess I’ll just have to keep watching to see if I overcome that :)

          2. i was waiting for it for So. Long. that i am still squeeing from last season finale ;o)
            But also, I believe i have admitted here, I have unhealthy obessions with fictional characters……. ;o\

      2. How could you not? He is a god amongst men and if I met him in real life I’d ACTUALLY squee — which I can’t say about almost any other celebrities (when I saw Jake Gyllenhaal in real life I just tried to take a furtive picture).

          1. I would still take circa 1980 Harrison Ford….although I do have to admit that I have admired Mr. Fillion ever since his First Evil days…

  12. Haircut TJ-
    I need suggestions from the hive on professional haircuts that are easy for day-to-day maintenance. My hair always looks great when my stylist does it, but I can’t seem to replicate it at home without way too much time & styling tools. Currently almost chin length, I’m debating letting it grow for easy of low ponytail styling options for everyday, but my hair is thin & fine and looks so much better when it’s short & styled – but when I’m crunched for time there isn’t an easy & fast option like a basic low pony. I have 2 kids and a long commute, so crunched for time = nearly every day Thoughts? Links for cute but professional short cuts? Or let it grow?

    1. Is your hair curly, wavy, or straight? Frizzy?

      Do you love your stylist? I have a great relationship with mine, and I am always very upfront with her if the last cut took too much time. Over the years we’ve been able to do something that works very well for my hair and only takes the hairdryer and a round brush (a miracle with the texture of my hair).

      1. Stick straight when past my shoulders, very slight wave/frizz when shorter, with a tendency toward flipping in opposite directions (left side tends to flip under, right side tends to flip out/any which way). My stylist is pretty good about listening when I say low maintenance, but I think I need to tell her I need even lower, as I’m not very coordinated about something as basic as blowdrying while round brushing – or I get half my head done, then have to deal with a kid issue and then the other half dries enough that it looks weird when I try to finish it.
        I’m thinking I want to try something sleek, as opposed to fuller volume, but I’m worried with fine hair that sleek would just look like thin pathetic hair.
        Other details: medium brown, round-ish face, wear glasses most days.

        1. Your face shape, glasses, and hair type (as well as your abilities to do hair—or lack of abilities) sound basically like me. I wore a ponytail almost all the time for 15+ years because nothing but a bob looked decent because my hair is fine. But I was never crazy about the bob. So this summer I chopped it all off pretty short—think Anne Hathaway short. And I love it. I don’t use a blowdryer or a brush. Just a little product when I get out of the shower and I’m done. My hair now has personality, whereas before it was really blah.

          It takes a little fearlessness to chop it all off, but I figured the worst thing that would happen is that I would hate it and it would grow back. And I love it so it was well worth the risk.

          1. I’ve debated chopping it all off, but I’ve been too chicken to actually do it. My appointment is tomorrow, I’ll see if I can bring myself to do it. My favorite hairstyle was in the late 90s.when I had hair that was pretty short & flipped out – kind of like Meg Ryan in French Kiss. It was great because it actually looked best if I just slept on it wet, but I don’t think I can pull off a bedhead look anymore and I don’t know the modern equivalent of this cut

        2. You are my hair twin! I tried the low pony look, but my hair looked really flat. Right now, I have a bob that’s shorter in the back. The longer front pieces let me tuck my hair behind my ears without looking funky and give me a half-up option. The cut is a little choppier with some layers to keep it from looking too helmet-head. It looks better when I can round brush it under, but I usually don’t have the patience and just dry it upside-down.

          1. This sounds slightly counter intuitive but what about blunt bangs? If you have straight hair they won’t take much longer than the rest of your hair to style. You’ll save time on blow drying and I think bangs make any sort of pony tail way more chic.

  13. Anyone have any birthday gift ideas for a best friend? I got a really adorable pair of Kate Spade earrings from her for my last birthday and I’m struggling to find something for her. We generally exchange jewelry, scarves, picture frames, etc.

    1. What about spending some time on Etsy. There are lots of cute customizable gift ideas on there for any budget. You could get her some notecards with her name on them. You could get her some jewelry from Kanye’s shop. You could do some fun kind of little picture collage of the two of you. You could get her a cool handmade scarf or winter hat, since its getting colder.

    2. large painted goblet or martini glass. they make some cute ones. lolita is one brand, but you can find them on etsy too.

  14. I’m going to an event on Sunday where I’m the guest of honor and my hands are going to be photographed. I’m going to get my nails done – question is, my nail color always chips in a few days and I’m going with a darker red, so any chips will be noticeable. Is this is a situation where I should choose gel shellac? Not even sure what that is but I see it in the salon. Any recs on keeping my nail color on would be super helpful, thanks!

    1. I would totally do a gel manicure in that situation. But I’m the kind of person that can’t keep a manicure perfect even for a day. If you can, then just get your manicure the day of.

      1. Thanks – I should have written that I actually need to get my nails done this Wednesday for a variety of reasons, so it’s going to be four days before the actual event. Sounds like gel might be the way to go.

        1. oh i would def do gel. I am not a huge fan because I think they make my nails weaker, but I always go gel for special occasions.

        2. Yes, absolutely gel. It takes longer than a regular manicure to put on, but my absolute favorite thing about it is that is is DONE the second you get up from the chair. Assuming this is the UV gel, you alternate the drying one hand while the other is having the gel applied. It takes several coats but it’s bullet proof, no chance of smudging at all. And it definitely resists chips (just don’t go hang out in a pool for hours each day after you get it done).

          Also, I kind of want to know what kind of event requires hand photography–are you an award-winning hand model? ;) Am I just being nosy? (I can answer that one.)

          1. Ha ha, no. :) I’m having an Indian ceremony where there will be mehendi on my hands, hence the close up shots. Thanks all!

    2. Gel/shellac! Mine starts lifting/peeling after the 4-5th day, but if you don’t have that neurosis where you bite your nails/pick at them (like I do) you should be ok.

      Pioneer woman did a whole review on them a couple months ago.

    3. Get shellac! I love the stuff- for me, the polish will grow out before it chips! I’m a person who has weak nails to begin with and mine actually get stronger when I’m doing shellac regularly!

    4. gel will work, but you could also just bring your own polish when you get your manicure so that you can touch up your chips the day of the wedding.

  15. Nice thing my SO did for me today – I was super upset last night when I looked at the guest list numbers for my upcoming wedding as a final check before sending save the dates and realized that I’ve been so accommodating that I have only eight friends and two professional mentors on “my” list. Nope, I am not putting in the hours and vacation days to take point on planning a wedding for 150 people 3,000 miles away if I’m only inviting five friends beyond my bridal party.

    I am so grateful that he listened to my incoherent sobbing about how I feel taken advantage of to plan everyone else’s reunion when I’ve cut my friends down to bare bones (and how unfair it is he has double the number of friends I do on “the list”, and how there are more people on “the list” I’ve never met than my friends), and took my feelings seriously. He has already contacted his mother (and, I think, my mother) to try to get her to reevaluate (in under 24 hours! and during the work day!), and has committed to cutting a few of his friends too (probably the one who posts the crazy judgmental political stuff on facebook!). Even if he can’t convince his mother or my mother to change a thing, I know he has my back and that is wonderful.

    1. That is GREAT!!! I am planning a wedding as well and my fiance has not even given me his list. I have already decided I will invite the members of his family that I am aware of and he can deal with the angry phone calls after the wedding!

      Internet hugs…I know the process is extremely stressful.

    2. Who is paying for the wedding? If your or his parents aren’t then you shouldn’t have to consult them. even if they are, it’s still your day.

      1. I actually found this sad and not wonderful or great… I can’t even imagine having people i don’t know at the wedding and only 8 friends. I guess its good he has your back now, but where was he this whole time? The idea of a big wedding without my friends is so sad!

        this site has been making me too sad lately. its actually been effecting my life i think. it used to be about professional advice, and now its just like, people complaining about how sad they are and a lot of the problems could be fixed if people just grew a backbone. everyone loves it, and “loves this community” and i really dont and dont get why. i honestly feel left out. Im going anon cuz i dont want to hurt anyones feelings that i have had particular interactions with, but I guess I just felt I needed to pen some sort of like goodbye note and I am going to try and take some time off . I just don’t think its work centered at all anymore, and not even remotely connected to over achieving at work. its just women talking about their problems. i find it so different that someone had a bad day and went back to an internet post to make themselves feel better. i find it crazy that there is a different blog dedicated to a fake person. and i realize everyone is going to comment and call me mean and there will be much +1 and “this.” to those comments. and that is fine, its what this site is now, and I am obviously the miniority if not the only one with this opinion. but basically i am really interested in finding a blog like this site of two years ago, where it was mostly work problems, not relationship/family/neighbor/personal problems.

        1. Can’t say that I’m sad to see you go, but only because I don’t know who you are! I hope that you become happier, either with or without us! As for what this blog is, I think it’s really, at its core, a blog/comment section for professional high-achieving, formally educated women who live in a world where some celebrate that and some try to undermine it. The problems here are certainly problems of probably all women, to some extent, but they differ in that we’re typically higher powered in our professional life so it’s tough to admit to struggles and lacking power in our personal lives.

          But you know all of that. TL;DR? Be well and thank you for the things you’ve contributed here while you were here!

        2. I’m sorry this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but I’m going to be honest that I’m not sure why this was so beyond the pale and how I personify what is wrong with this website. Why not start a thread on work-related things instead? For me, growing a backbone at work is easy compared to growing a backbone with things that involve managing other peoples feelings.

          Even though I don’t need to explain myself, here goes: five friends often means ten people total when you count in significant others who we don’t know particularly well and/or children. I looked at the compromises and peacemaking (including managing the cold war between my mom and his mom about who is inviting more guests, and my mom finding it utterly essential to invite somewhat-random people like first cousins twice removed) and realized that when push comes to shove, I am not ok with how it’s all shaken out. I was thrilled that my fiance didn’t trivialize my feelings even though it’s “only” a wedding and took steps to make it better quickly and without further prompting. I don’t think that’s sad at all – it’s surprisingly easy to let things get out of control when you’re dealing with irrational people (unlike at my workplace).

          1. So true. Everybody is irrational about weddings. My mother threw a fit about the possibility of a lack of strawberry perched on her champagne. I wish I was kidding.

      2. Both his parents and mine are paying, so we’re having to make a lot of compromises. I’m just glad he’s got my back and that we’re working thru the growing pains of boundary setting with our parents together and before we have kids.

        1. This type of listening/communication, respect and expectations-setting that you’re having now will help contribute to a strong marriage. I like that you have each other’s back and present a united front to your families. Good luck to you.

    3. That is really great of him. I hated wedding planning, but knowing that my DH was supportive (with the exception of eloping), made it so much better.

      Nice thing my SO did for me yesterday? He’s traveling for business, but before he left on Sunday morning he made sure I had enough ground coffee beans to last me the week while he’s gone.

      1. That’s really sweet of your SO! It’s amazing how something simple and thoughtful like that can make you feel loved.

    4. So happy to hear that your SO has your back and is attuned to your feelings. :-)

    6. That’s awesome. Wedding planning was the worst part of getting married…and we had it pretty easy compared to some of the stories I’ve heard…

  16. Has anyone seen similar boxes / jewelry boxes that are mid-size and would look nice on the countertop? I have all my costume jewelry on a tree / hanging organizer, but now that I am (slowly) buying nicer pieces, I feel like I should protect them more instead of just putting my Tiffany’s stuff on one of the wall pegs. I’ve searched everywhere, but all I can find that looks good is pottery barn. I was hoping to find a nice, solid lacquer box with felt inside. TIA!

    1. Try etsy and maybe search for something vintage. I have a sterling silver felt lined box that I purchased at an antiques fair.

    3. Don’t dismiss the Pottery Barn ones. I collect tons of vintage costume jewelry and love that they have so many drawers to lay stuff out flat. The only other ones I’ve seen with that many drawers are jewelry armores. Also, speaking from experience make sure that whatever you get will let stuff lay down in separated layers. For some reason when laying down everything seems to get tangled up more.

    4. Check out Reed and Barton jewelry boxes. I’ve had my “big” jewelry box for 20+ years and it still looks new. This year i bought my 11 year old daughter her first real jewelry box from them whe she got her ears pierced. And I finally bought another smaller box for myself (in the “shagreen” color which is killing it) and I am so pleased. I will try to find a link for you.

    5. Thanks for the suggestions! I like both the west elm one and the Reed and Barton ones (and mamabear that brand looks super high quality). Thanks!

      Another question – does everyone keep their nice jewelry in the little felt bags always or are those for traveling? I figure we’re on the topic already …

  17. I’m going to my first closing dinner next week for a large public deal that recently closed. I’m the only associate attending from my firm and, based on my reading of the invite list, the only female. What should I wear in this situation? Is a suit mandatory or could I get away with a structured dress and blazer? Should I just use this opportunity to buy an investment suit?

    2. As a women who has repeatedly showed up in a “structured dress and blazer” when all the men were wearing dark suits, white shirts and ties – I would wear a full suit. I have several dresses that have matching suit jackets, and I might consider that. But it’s awkward enough being the only woman, and it’s awkward being the most junior person….so I would not add to the awkwardness by wearing something that may not be as formal as the guys.

      My strategy would be to wear a pant suit with a top that has sleeves so I can take off my jacket if the guys aren’t wearing jackets. And I only say pant suit because I’ve ended up trying to shimmy in and out of high-top tables in a pencil skirt, and I am *not* good at it. I would also wear lower heels and/or chunkier heels, in case there is a lot of walking to/from parking lots.

    3. Don’t know if you’re still reading. But, I also just recently went to my first closing dinner (and was the only associate). I wore a pencil skirt and structured blazer and felt comfortable. The investment bankers were in full suits and the clients were in sport coats.

  18. Just wanted to ask for good thoughts tomorrow! I’ve got an interview for a job that looks great: it’s exactly what I’m doing now (and love) but with more autonomy and responsibility, the biographies on the “about us” page all look like great, interesting coworkers, and the pay is an 85% increase on what I’m currently making(!).

    I’m also the one who was trying to put together an interview outfit out of mostly sleeveless separates – happy to say a friend who’s my size loaned me a black skirt suit and it looks amazing on! I’m buying the exact same one as soon as I get paid. So, hopefully good vibes all around tomorrow…

    1. Good luck! Here’s hoping you get the job.

      Keep us posted, my dear.

  19. Just a thought…

    I absolutely adore how the women here give such wonderful and supportive advice without being patronizing. I love the mix of comments that run from personal experience to personal anecdotes to trying to see the other person’s side, all of which lend to a really well-rounded view.

    I know that I’ve become a better friend IRL because of the things I’ve learned via women’s experiences here and I just wanted to share that. I love you guys!

  20. Thank you to those of you who provided advice on remodeling and picking out vendors. We started looking at vendors where our contractor has discuounts, and overall I feel like we are in a better place already. Thanks!

  21. To Cb, if she is reading – we had a moment a while ago commiserating over corn allergies and looking for substitutes for gummies. If I remember, you’re in another country, so this may not be helpful, but here are some things I’ve found.

    1. Annie’s Organic Orchard Fruit Bites. I’ve only tried the cherry flavor. They are stickier than regular gummies (like, your fingers will get sticky), but the taste is great. The texture is a bit stiffer than a regular gummy, but still satisfying. (Skip the Annie’s bunnies fruit snacks – they have a really strange, crumbly texture that is all wrong).

    2. “Soft eating licorice” (mostly from New Zealand, from some reason?). My regular grocery store carries “Natural Vines” in strawberry and black licorice. The strawberry tastes a bit like flouride at the dentist, but the texture is good. Whole Foods carries another brand in raspberry that is dead-on; sweet, good texture, and pretty. Target also has a brand that is OK.

    3. For some reason, fruity teas have been helping kill the craving in the mornings only.

    4. Certain Teddy Grahams don’t have corn syrup. Seriously.

    If you can’t find any of these items in your country, maybe we could arrange for an overseas care package?

    1. Mmm….thanks! These are totally going on my Christmas list. (It’s ridiculous, I come back home from the states with a bag full of peanut butter, fiber one cereal bars, and candy)

      I’m off sugar at the moment so I’ve been substituting with carrots and urban fruit baked pineapple (no added anything, chewy and sweet and delicious!)

  22. So does anyone have any experience with All Saints knits? I have a skirt from there that I adore, but I have never purchased any knits from there and am thinking about getting a Dita Pullover Dress. Can anyone recommend/warn against All Saints knits?

  23. Just a tip for some useful basics. 30% off today at the Jones NY website (plus if you don’t already get their emails, you can sign up and get $20 off your first order of over $100). JNY has the best silk knit shells for wearing under suits (just search for “Platinum silk knit shell”). I ordered one in each color to replace my old worn out ones — they’re a steal at $25 each.

    1. the paragraph that really got me:

      “I have never stopped being reminded of my there-for-men status. I am reminded when I am violated in my sleep, or groped in a bar, or held down by a longtime friend. I am reminded when I refuse conversation with a strange man and he spits in my direction, or calls me a “bitch.” I am reminded when I am asked why I wore such a pretty dress if I wasn’t trying to “pick up.” I am reminded when I am told to be less angry and more agreeable. I am reminded when I talk about my lived experience and am told to “stop being so negative about everything.” I am reminded when young girls are bullied so severely by men who wanted to see their bodies that they commit suicide.”

    2. “And this sounds basic, but remind them that we’re, you know, people? We deserve at least that much.”

      This.

    3. totally, Tiered, and I tried to post the paragraph that really got me, but it got moderated for some ‘strong’ words, so here’s a clipping

      ‘I have never stopped being reminded of my there-for-men status. … I am reminded when I refuse conversation with a strange man and he spits in my direction, or calls me a “b1tch.” I am reminded when I am asked why I wore such a pretty dress if I wasn’t trying to “pick up.” I am reminded when I am told to be less angry and more agreeable. I am reminded when I talk about my lived experience and am told to “stop being so negative about everything.” ‘

      1. Yep, that was the paragraph that really resounded with me too. I re-shared the whole thing on my FB.

      2. Yes. Thank you for posting this. And I think she’s awesome and brave. I’m glad this is making its way around the ‘net, and maybe, it’ll open people’s minds a bit more.

  25. What are some good books for a trial lawyer to read/own? Looking for interest law books, educational law books etc appropriate for a 1st year call starting to run trials.

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