This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
When I did our big roundup of everything to get in the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale, I forgot to include this walkable pump from Linea Paolo. There are lucky sizes left in the more traditional colors (the cognac suede is lovely!), but this snake print has a good number of sizes left. I like the thick heel and the classic cut, mixed with the fun print.
The shoe was $109, but is now marked to $55-$65. Nice.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Hunting for more comfortable low heels for work? These are some of our latest favorites… one / two / three / four (also Ferragamo, MMLF, and Sarah Flynt!)
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Anon
Could any lawyers here help me out responding e-mail response times in a law firm? I usually just text people, so dealing with e-mail and figuring out what is a timely response, is something I feel like I need direct instruction on before I mess this up. Not for e-mails where I’m one of 5+ people on the CC line, but if an e-mail is “to” me. I’m just a 2L. Didn’t work a legal job last summer because COVID was just awful like that (so are retail jobs in a pandemic, which I am PRAYING never to go back to).
Anonymous
ASAP. Not sure what the issue is here. Sometimes the ASAP response will actually respond to their question because you know the answer. Sometimes the ASAP response will be more akin to – sure I will take a look at that research issue now and get you the answer; the reason for that second one is just to convey that you are working on it, so they don’t have to wonder whether you’re too swamped to work on it, are ignoring them or whatever.
Anonymous
As soon as you can. If it requires a significant response, like a legal analysis, you should immediately acknowledge the email and then get them the substantive response later.
Sorry. When I was an associate, if I did not respond within about 15 minutes (sometimes 5), I’d just get a call asking for the information and also why I didn’t respond and requesting that I also respond to the email. Lawyers are obnoxious.
Anonymous
I expect summers to respond pretty quickly. Even if it’s just a “got it, will look into this and get back to you.” I’ve never been bothered by an overtly communicative summer.
Anon
Not a lawyer but work directly with them daily, both in-house and with external firms. General rule of thumb: the lower your level, the faster your response should be. Take long enough to read the email and make sure your response is relevant, but don’t wait until you have a fully-baked answer before you acknowledge the message. In practice, this usually means 15-30 minutes for routine things, and much shorter (5-10 minutes) if there is a looming deadline involved.
Anonymous
Respond right away. Get comfortable with an email that says, “Hi! I got your email and am working on this. I’ll get back to you by the deadline/when do you need this/I think I can have something for you by tomorrow afternoon, if that works for you.”
Anonymous
I agree with the timing advice here but will add that it doesn’t apply when you’re actively involved in a meeting or on a call with other people. You’ll need to use your judgment– e.g., don’t go to a long lunch and ignore your email if you’re in the middle of a deal that’s closing — but, imo, it’s far worse as a summer associate to appear distracted by your phone than it is to be a little delayed in acknowledging receipt of an email. This goes all the more if you’re in front of a client.
Unsolicited (and probably totally unnecessary) advice since you say you’re used to texting people: make sure you’re sending a single email with your full message- using full sentences with punctuation- not sending sequential messages like you might over text or in a messaging system. Of course, there will be times that you need to send a follow up “I meant to add…” email, but those should be rare.
anon
If your response is delayed because you were sitting in on a hearing, a deposition, a meeting, etc., I would acknowledge that in your response email–“I just returned from observing Partner’s hearing. I am working on this and I think I can have something for you by tomorrow afternoon.” If you go to a long lunch, check your email from the restroom once or twice. I agree that you shouldn’t appear distracted by your phone.
And yes, lawyers are obnoxious. The expectation that you’re supposed to be immediately responsive to 20 different attorneys senior to you, while not being distracted by your phone while meeting in person with any one of those attorneys, is insane. Ditto to the expectation that you should be at your desk but also in depositions all day, etc.
Anonymous
I just want to chime in to say I am a partner and I do not expect an immediate response because obviously people have other things going on. If I actually urgently need something from an associate, I’ll call and follow up with an email.
Anonymous
Good. Same. But we are exceptions, not the rule.
Anon
Agree with the other advice, and just wanted to add the fact that you knew to ask this reflects well on your judgment – so just keep asking your questions here or to trusted mentors! We are here to help. There is a lot that is not spoken but people care about in the law, unfortunately.
Anonymous
What’s your opinion of the covid “safest” travel destinations specifically in western Europe? Obviously masking etc. is done now, but do you think there are certain flight routes/airlines or certain locations where there’s a touch more masking even if not required? Do you consider certain places safer just because the activities are more outdoors rather than museums or shopping. And finally any difference between going this summer during the traditional travel season vs. after Labor Day? DH and I are at odds about this as he says go in the heat of summer, there will be new variants in the falls and I think that possibly some US origin/return flights will be a touch emptier just after Labor Day (though I agree with not waiting for cold weather).
Anonymous
I think you’re being silly. There’s no such thing as flights being emptier any more. People are not masking on any flights above 30%.
NYCer
+1. Go where you want, when you want. It is all roughly equivalent in western Europe.
Anon
Covid is the new flu: it’s endemic, it’s never going away, there’s always going to be some new variant. Go when you can go. My only thought is that it’s generally easier to get flights in September since most people are doing the back-to-school thing and aren’t traveling for vacation. On the other hand, there’s more traditional business travel at that time. But a business traveler is only one person vs a whole family.
Said another way: oh my gosh, just go!
Anonymous
FWIW Lufthansa tends to have good masking; it was required up until recently but I believe the requirement is now gone and even still it’s a high % masking.
anon
If you don’t have to plan well in advance, I would look at the local data in the specific areas you want to visit a few weeks before. Are cases low or high? Rising or falling?
Otherwise, I think you’re best off with general advice: outdoors is better than indoors, more ventilation and fewer people is better than less ventilation and more people, wear a high quality mask, make a plan in case you need to isolate, etc. Can you make flexible arrangements to make it easier to bail if cases are high?
Anon
If I were particularly covid-cautious at this point I’d just wear an N95 the whole time and go where I wanted rather than trying to pick a destination based on this criteria. I think you wearing an N95 will make more of a difference than whether 10% or 30% of others are wearing a mask.
Anonymous
This. No place is 80 or 100% masked anymore outside of certain spots in Asia. It’s not that helpful to you to go someplace that’s 45% masked vs 29%. Better to get an N95, 3M Aura type mask and make sure that’s on indoors.
Anon
I am in Europe at the moment. Fwiw, Austria currently requires masks on public transportation including planes and in select other locations (such as stations and supermarkets) and adherence is quite strong.
However, European countries seem to be dropping covid restrictions by the day so if it is a dealbreaker for you if other people are not masked, you should not count on current rules applying to a trip later in the summer. I agree with another poster that if you’re that worried about it, you should just wear an N95 mask.
Anon
You are way overthinking this. Just go and wear a mask.
Pep
My parents just got home Sunday from a 13-day quarantine in Portugal. Get the travel insurance!
Emma
I flew on Air France recently and masks were still mandatory – I think masks are still mandatory on several international flights? Vaccine rates are high, but masking once there was very low, although I masked up in the metro (pregnant) and no one said anything about it.
Meg
I just got back from western/central europe, and Germany was our safest location – they still require masks on public transportation, and it generally felt like at other indoor locations that masking was more the norm. In the other locations, it felt like locals all thought Covid was over, but we behaved like we do at home – mask up inside, eat outside as much as possible, mask on the plane.
Anon
Majority of European countries have dropped COVID restrictions as the infection rates were low past summer here and vaccination rate is good. You might need to mask in public transport and medical centers and some private establishments (e.g. shops or malls).
If you want to take extra caution, wear a mask when you want, nobody thinks twice about it (as in we have enough on our plate as is with war in Ukraine, high inflation and gas prices; have zero mental space to judge people for wearing masks). Enjoy your holidays!
Anonymous
I Did the Thing! That is all.
Anonymous
Me too! So satisfying.
Anon
You’re awesome!
Anonymous
Help me shop? I need a sexy-but-casual dress for date nights with the hubs. Size 16P/14P/14WP or XXL. I’m an apple so I try to avoid hourglass/waist defining things and play up the boobage.
Anon
I feel like Farm Rio has fun summer dresses that can be low cut. I am in the IBTC so they are not exciting on me at all but would be on someone with more going on north of the waist.
Mouse
In my experience they don’t fit me (as a 16). They stop at an XL.
Anonymous
maybe this?
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/city-chic-enchant-sheath-dress-plus-size/6626369?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&fashioncolor=Black&fashionsize=size%2FWomen%3A%20Apparel%2FPetite%3A%2016%2C%20XL%7Csize%2FWomen%3A%20Apparel%2F16W%2C%201X%2C%2020%2C%20XXXL%7Csize%2FWomen%3A%20Apparel%2F14W%2C%201X%2C%2018%2C%20XXL&color=001
or eshakti?
anon
Eloquii and City Chic should have a lot of options for you.
A
Boden had a couple maxi dresses in Indian cotton that are subtly sexy and yet casual.
Anon
Advice on living with roommates without spiraling every time there is a confrontation? I have a couple of housemates with slightly more assertive personalities. One has controlling tendencies around cleanliness (posted this a while ago, but she has a tendency to micromanage how we do our chores and get upset if it isn’t to her specifications). Another one is a bit on the demanding, take-charge side and can sometimes be intimidating when it comes to decision making.
I’m finding myself annoyed and anxious any time there is any type of confrontation. Especially since one of them (the clean-freak) is super sensitive and gets upset very easily at people. She will silently stew when they’ve disappointed her (even when it’s kind of a nothing issue), and I feel a bit like navigating a landmine in terms of dealing with her. The other one I feel like I’m slowly building up resentments toward because of the ways in which she isn’t always the most sensitive or respectful of other people’s needs.
I live in a HCOL city, so living with roommates is kind of the only option for right now. Any advice for how to deal, or how to detach emotionally from it all? I can feel myself becoming angrier and more defensive as a result.
Anon
Find a new living situation. For the time being, take lots of walks that take you out of the apartment.
Anon
Find new roommates. I’ve lived with thirteen different roommates over the past ten years and have only once lived with a roommate like this. It’s not normal roommate behavior!
OP
That’s so interesting – I think of them as relatively good as far as roommates go, but I’ve had some super-bad roommates in the past. Were there never conflicts around cleanliness or other things that made you on edge? Is that not normal?
Our apartment is super clean (never a dish in the sink etc), but my housemate still proposed we divide our rent to account for the fact that she is the only one who wipes down the sink faucet and cleans the spoonholder, among a few other things. I just feel on edge now when ever she brings up cleaning or chores, and I’m preemptively annoyed that she might feel victimized by any speck of dust in the house.
Anon
You need to move out. No one gets a break on rent because they wipe down the sink. That is ridiculous.
Anon
Yup, as we replied last time, that roommate is completely unreasonable and it’s only going to get worse
Anon
+1 Save yourself the trouble and time it will take you to make your next post here. Start looking for a new living situation.
Anon
Aside from general “Sally is annoying me” which I inevitably feel with everyone I live with on occasion, I’ve never had conflict in a roommate situation. Not being a super bad roommate is a low bar.
Woof
Start looking. This is soul-erasing, and will diminish your happiness. You can do better than this nonsense. People (like the sink wiping roommate) who are this fussy and picky need to live alone.
anon
I’ve never had roommates that put me on edge like you are describing. That would be a no go for me.
Anon
I’m in my 40s and have never paid for cleaners… except for a few years in grad school when I had a rotating cast of 5 roommates, and the landlord included a cleaning service in the rent because they didn’t want their house destroyed. It made such a difference in roommate relations when the big stuff was just taken care of- cleaners came every two weeks and did all of the common spaces, including kitchen and bathrooms, but not the bedrooms. After that, it was pretty easy to agree on the day to day stuff like not leaving dishes in the sink, but the key was to have a set of standards everyone agreed to and stick to them instead of sniping at each other constantly.
Anon
I’ll also second the posts above- I’ve had a lot of roommates and never had this kind of situation, so looking for new roommates might be the best answer.
Anonymous
I was in this situation. It doesn’t get better. It made me super anxious and I felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own home. I would get out ASAP. I spent as much time as possible out of the house or in my room. Definitely don’t buy anything with this person. (I had split the cost of some used but still fairly nice furniture with them early on and they took it when I moved out and didn’t pay me back my half.) On the plus side, it gave me a taste of what living with a controlling person would be like and now if anyone reminds me of my former roommate, I know to run far, far away.
Anon
I just cleaned my kitchen. Do I call the mortgage company or the county property tax assessor first to get paid for this? Because there’s no way my PITI should be the same this month after all that cleaning.
Anon
I try to just focus on all the rent money I’m saving! That makes it a little easier to deal with. Also try to speak up for yourself. My current roommate annoys me quite often but I know I wouldn’t be able to afford such a nice apartment on my own.
Anonymous
In a networking/coffee meeting setting, how clear are you (if at all) about salary questions? I’m looking to make a switch from a law to a business role possibly, which could be workable based on skillsets, yet I’m not in a position where I can take a pay cut. I feel like my current 200k-ish salary would be doable in this type of role, but I really don’t know and don’t want to go down the road of networking and applying for jobs in an industry only to learn that no one will pay an industry switcher more than 140k.
I’ll be honest that I don’t have good mentors around me to discuss these issues with (these mentors are NOT the business people I’d be networking with). A few of my mentors believe it’s ALL about experience, take any pay cut you have to and be lucky for a job. Uh no – I’m 40 not 25, I have a mortgage and would like to retire, I’m not asking for 800k in partner compensation here, and frankly I don’t NEED to leave law if the right offer isn’t there. I feel like with guys when they talk about money, people see them as SO ambitious – like he’s so smart to want to make $$$ or oh what a wonderful family man providing for his wife and 3 kids. Yet when women talk about money, people tend to find it off putting – as if you’re being “greedy” for wanting to be paid what you’re worth; or don’t you have a provider who brings home the $$$, surely your corporate job is just the secondary income.
So do you bring it up? How?
Anon
If you have a rapport with the person that makes it not awkward to ask (so, don’t ask the 80 year old partner emeritus who may have old-fashioned ideas about talking money), I’d say something like, “Do you have a sense of the salary range for this type of position?”
Anonymous
I don’t. Talk salary when you get an offer.
Anonymous
Not sure that I agree with this. I think this is a big your moment kind of conversation, and one that I’d have with someone in your peer age group along the lines of “what are the salary ranges for someone making this transition.” But many business jobs pay a lot less than legal jobs. I would not be taking numerous coffee meetings, submitting applications, and then waiting for an offer only to hear them say – ok well we think you’re a great fit at 95k and THEN learn that in this industry, the legal experience won’t get you a salary bump/match.
Anonymous
Often I’ve been able to ask when doing a networking meeting somewhere that I 100% won’t apply for a job – both them know it and I know it (often for me it’s geography). So while the information isn’t exactly accurate because what a job pays in California likely isn’t what their competitors pay in DC, at least it lets me know whether I’m looking at the 150k range or 250k range or whatever.
anon
This may be so obvious you didn’t think it worth mentioning, but you’ve checked Glassdoor, right? You can look at specific titles in peer companies and figure out whether that role will net you something you are comfortable pursuing. There are also in-house compensation surveys and recruiters will know what is reasonable.
I think it’s fine to ask about salary while networking if you frame it right. Don’t open by asking about money and don’t spend too long on the subject. What should be happening is you evaluating whether you are a good fit for the industry and the role. The money is just one small part of that.
Horse Crazy
Thinking about a trip to Cabo San Lucas in early March – any recommendations of where to stay/eat/activities?
anon
I’ve never stayed, but the One and Only Palmilla looks beautiful. I have swam at the beach nearby, and it is gorgeous. I stayed at the Secrets resort when I went and it was really nice and had good food. It wasn’t luxury or anything though.
Anon
One and Only Palmilla is amazing if you have the budget.
Peru!
Posting this anonymously to avoid outing my handle to co-workers who read here. For those looking for a covid-cautious overseas vacation this summer please consider Peru. Their vaccination rates are great, their current case-load is lower than the US, and everyone wears masks everywhere, even outside. The only time we didn’t wear masks was at a resort out in the country when we were outside and away from other people. The country is lovely and varied, accessible at all price points, the people were wonderful and the food was outstanding.
Anon
Thank you for this tip!
Anon
Thank you. I am less concerned about masking, and more interested in the people, food, history, and landscape. We’ve traveled to Ecuador and had a similar experience. I’m looking for somewhere to vacation in January and this might be it!
Anon
How do you word “out of the office” e-mails when no one is in the office (or knows if you are / aren’t)? Do you just say “I will be on vacation” if you don’t want to be bothered when on vacation? I’m not sure what to do with the OOO e-mails I get (sent in advance) and have an upcoming vacation (I usually schedule when I know work is slow and can monitor e-mails periodically during the weekdays just to handle any random things that crop up). If I say I am OOO, people may start to think I am just perhaps going to client meetings onsite vs on vacation.
Or, it’s 2022. I can’t do fashion and I am even struggling with how we now use things that used to mean one thing but not mean another.
Anon
Our OOOs are fairly straightforward: “I am out of the office. Please contact X.” “I am out of the office and traveling internationally. Please contact X.” “I am out of the office with limited access to email. Please contact X.” “I am traveling for work today[date] and my responses may be delayed. Please contact X for any urgent matters.”
Anon
Thanks for your email. I am away Monday, July 18 with (limited email access and my response will be delayed)(no internet connection). If this is urgent, please reach out to Person or Group at company dot com.
I don’t put the departure date. People seem to think if I’m only out 1 day, I should not have much to dig through and get impatient if I don’t reply the following morning. But if they don’t know any different they seem to think I am on a long vacation and are much more understanding about a longer response time.
Anon
That should read: I am away *until* Monday, July 18…
Anonymous
This is rambling and confusing. “I will be out of the office with limited access to email until June 12. For urgent matters in my absence please contact Other Person.”
Anonymous
I didn’t change my language in my OOO. I think of “office” as “work.” “I am OOO through June 15” means I’m not working until June 15, not that I’m not sitting in my company’s building until June 15. I can’t imagine someone not reading in that manner?
Anon
Same. That’s how people read these emails, they don’t think you’re literally talking about the office.
Anonymous
“I am out of the office from X to Y without access to email. Please contact Z [the paralegal for the group who knows who can handle things] for immediate assistance.” (I once got an out of office back from a paralegal at another firm: “I am out of the office. Thanks.” I very much appreciate the sentiment of “leave me the f* alone while I’m on vacation” but including at least an alternate contact is useful)
Anon
“I’m out of the office until 6/7 with no access to email. I look forward to responding to your message when I return”
I don’t think it’s particularly good or anything, but I like being clear that I’m not checking my email/am unreachable while I’m away.
Anon
“I am offline until X. I will respond upon my return. If you need more immediate assistance, please contact Y.”
Anon
I am out of the office with limited access to email until ___. If this is urgent please contact ___.
anon
My internal OOO has a fun mention of what I am doing and my external OOO is the boring standard that has been already mentioned. No one GAF if you are out of an actual office or your home office. I never see these, I automatically have them routed to a separate box so they don’t clog up my inbox so yea you are way overthinking this.
Anon
Any recommendations for a travel laundry detergent for washing clothes on the go or in a sink? The laundress sounds lovely but I want something way cheaper.
Anon
Woolite?
Anon
Soak Wash.
Anon
This is the best! No rinsing required. I love it.
Mouse
My favorite!
Anonymous
+1 Soak unscented. In a pinch, shampoo.
Anon
I once heard Rick Steves say he uses the hotel shampoo as laundry detergent while traveling and decided if it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for me!
Anon
I buy the little foil packets of woolite and wash my silk tanks, bras, and undies in the sink as needed. I think Amazon should sell them.
Anon
I just checked – Amazon has something called Sink Suds travel packs, all out of Woolite. If I needed some right now, I’d just buy those.
Anon
You can get little packets of Tide in the travel section at the drugstore.
Anon
I recently grabbed a few travel packets from the last vacation hotel I was staying at to use on my next vacation. That’s one way of being cheap about it
Monte
Tiny bottle of Dr Bronners and use it for everything.
Peru!
Tide. Since you won’t get the length or agitation of a real washer you want the strong stuff. On my recent trip I washed undies, socks and a couple of camisoles but putting a squirt of tide (I brought a 1 oz bottle) into a ziploc bag, adding hot water and clothes, sealing the bag and then agitating it in the sink. Then let it soak while I showered. Drained it, filled once more with hot water to rinse, and then wrung the items out individually and in a towel. The all were quite clean and dried overnight.
Anon
Dr. Bronner’s is good for everything.
Anon
I’m going to Europe for 2.5 weeks next month and plan to travel very lightly with a carryon and a backpack. I cannot get enough of capsule wardrobes, packing recs, flat lays, etc. I also love good lists.
Can anyone recommend good Reddits, YouTube channels, blogs, sites, etc that feature this kind of content? Or any tips from your own travels? I used to love Hitha on the Go when she published packing guides like a decade ago.
Jo April
The Vivienne Files.
Anon
I just traveled (not as light as you) and found that my lightweight crew neck merino sweater from Uniqlo was a work horse. It packed down very small, wrinkles hung right out, never held onto smells, and could be worn as a nicer top to dinner with scarf, insulating layer between a t-shirt and fleece for a lot of extra warmth, and as a cozy pajama top.
test me
I also just traveled with a similar sized bag for a similar amount of time and second this suggestion (mine is a lightweight cashmere crew neck sweater, but same idea). I have a lot of random ideas for this type of travel, but my biggest packing tip that I give people when they ask is just to pack your favorite clothing items. Especially when traveling to Europe or somewhere that I consider *fancy,* I have a tendency to want to pack more fashionable things than my everyday clothes, but once I’m actually there, I just want tried and true outfits and things like, “this dress I never wear at home, but it will look so cool in Paris,” don’t end up getting worn.
Anon
Someday I will learn this lesson. Maybe.
test me
It’s hard! I have carried many fancy dresses/shoes around Europe that never see the light of day. This past trip I resisted and just told myself I could go shopping – the one cute dress I bought, I did wear, so it worked!
JTM
Wardrobe Oxygen has been sharing a lot of travel capsule wardrobes that could give you some inspiration.
anonymous
Travel Fashion Girl blog.
Anonymous
They have a FB page too, with probably 10 posts a day by regular travelers asking questions and posting their experiences – nice community.
Anon
Every time I see Linea Paolo featured I want to tell my story. More than 15 years ago I took my then 3 year old daughter with me to the downtown SF Nordstrom. We wandered into the shoe department and it turned out they were having a Linea Paolo trunk show, and there was Paolo himself, along with his assistant. He was just sitting in one of the trying-on chairs surrounded by displays with a bunch of beautiful shoes. I chatted with him for a long time, he drew a sketch of my daughter and gave it to us. I bought a beautiful pair of shoes I kept for a long, long time. (Medium heeled pointed toe pumps in a dark chocolate brown with a line of pink leather up the center of the toe, culminating in a neat little bow at the instep.) Lovely man.
AIMS
What a lovely story.
Anon
What a lovely story. Thanks for telling us.
Anne-on
I feel like we haven’t had one of these ‘what do I wear on my office team building activity’ questions in a while so hopefully I’m not the only one facing this issue as we go back in. On Friday we’re having an office wide meeting with senior level speakers (internal and external) followed by a volunteer activity. Here’s my issue – we’re generally on the more formal side of business casual BUT the volunteer activity is cleaning up a local waterfront park. The office manager said I can come into the office in clothes suitable for the activity but…I should go in work clothes and then change, right? I’m driving in so I have enough room to stash a change of clothing. I don’t want to look stuffy but I’m also over 40 and don’t think lulu leggings ever belong in offices. I don’t really have ‘hiking’ pants and really don’t want to buy new bottoms for this so…just change, yes?
anon
I wouldn’t wear leggings for this, period. Do you not have anything between work slacks and leggings? Chinos or jeans if not hiking pants? If not, then yeah, I think you need to invest in a pair of pants.
Anonymous
Wear jeans. This isn’t hard.
Anon
Yes absolutely change.
Another anon
Yes, just change! Wear what you like.
Anon
Ask your coworkers what they’re wearing, if everyone is doing the volunteer event people may be super casual all day.
A
I would wear jeans and a nice tee to work that day. The office manager has already told you this.
Why change?
Anon
Recently, I was in a car ride and my 15 year old niece asked me (in earshot of her mother, who is DH’s sister, and my own daughters), whether she was my “favorite niece.” She literally said “Aunt Anon – Am I your favorite niece?” The question threw me, because I do have one other niece (my brother’s daughter, with whom I have no real relationship due to various reasons I won’t go into here) and I just don’t like that phrasing generally as I keep telling my kids that we love them equally, etc. I mumbled something about how I don’t have favorites when it comes to family members, but it sounded like I was trying to let her down gently, which was not what I meant to do. What was the right thing to say here? FWIW, in the niece’s nuclear family, they use the term favorite a lot – my daughters are apparently the niece’s favorite cousins, my husband’s brother is her favorite uncle, they ask 2 year old cousin – who is your favorite aunt? Is it me?!?, etc. so this type of question is a pretty common one.
Anon
I would have a pat answer for questions like this: Each of my nieces is my favorite in their own special way. I love how you yada, yada, yada. Then change the subject.
OP
I think you answered fine, since it’s fair to say you don’t choose favorites and it sounds like question made you uncomfortable. I will say though that operationally it kind of sounds like she’s the only niece you have a relationship with, so I don’t think it would have been horrible for you to just say that she was.
I don’t think it’s fair to equate her family letting her have favorite relatives with parents choosing favorites, which is what you have anxiety around. I am most of my nieces’ and nephews’ “favorite aunt” and the family remarks on it often. It’s not a rebuke of anyone else – it’s just that I actively engage with them and seek out a relationship in a way that no one else does. I would NEVER choose a “favorite” niece/nephew because that’s inappropriate, the same way having a favorite child is. Idk – it sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill and equating a benign question / kid habit with asking you to imply you secretly have a favorite child or rank your family members more broadly.
Anon
odd question, but if both of your daughters can be her favorite cousin (which i’m glad about so she isn’t singling one out) it sounds like she doesnt mean the term literally so you probably could’ve said ‘of course you’re my favorite 15 year old niece”. (assuming your brother’s daugther is not also 15)
Anonymous
I like this lots.
Anonymous
I’ll phrase it as “Aunt A is my favorite aunt south of the Mason Dixon line” or some other geographic way to distinguish her from where all my other aunts are. Or my one aunt used to say I was her favorite niece under 30 since there is a big age gap between me and my cousins and I was her ONLY niece under 30.
Anon
I have a much older half sister and my dad has always jokingly called me his favorite daughter under 20, 30, 40, etc as we’ve all aged. Surprisingly though, he will admit that my husband is his favorite son-in-law.