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I was poking through Anthropologie's top rated accessories and fell in love with this belt — it feels like a layered but minimal skinny belt. (It's also great to see that in most of the colors, it comes in sizes XS-3X!)
The belt is $58 at Anthropologie; in addition to “lilac,” you can also get it in sky, beige, silver, a black “oxford,” a brown “cedar,” and a brown croc texture.
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Hollis
Has anyone stayed at one of the Iberostar all inclusive resorts in Mexico? If so, can you tell me about your experience and whether you’d do it again (or stay somewhere else instead)? I have never been to a resort in Mexico, or an all inclusive, but I saw this chain has good reviews. We would be traveling with 3 teenagers and possible grandparents, over the holidays. Thanks.
Anon
They’re a mid-range option. Not as fancy as a Grand Velas or a Beaches, but a big step up from some of the budget options.
How much do you care about food? Great food is really hard to come by at all-inclusives and even good food can be hard to find except at the top tier places. Cruises have better food on average than all-inclusive resorts in my experience, and cruises don’t normally have amazing food unless you pay $$$$ for one of the ultra luxury lines. If food isn’t a priority, it should be fine.
anon
I stayed at an iberostar in the dominican and enjoyed it.
As the previous person posted, the food was fine and abundant but nothing special. The rest of the facilities were nice and the staff was good. It didn’t blow me away, but I didn’t have major complaints
Cat
We stayed at one in another country years ago and concur; it was fine if kind of like eating Applebee’s for 4 days, but having also done a higher-end AI stay, we figured out we just do not like AIs.
Safari Seeking
I’m visiting South Africa this fall and would love to do a safari while I’m on the continent. I’m open to any location. I will be coming from Cape Town and returning to the Eastern US after. I’m overwhelmed with options and not sure where to start. For those of you that have done a safari, can you please post recommendations?
Anon
I just got back from Tswalu and it. was. magical. An incredible place, genuinely dedicated to conservation and amazing. Can’t recommend it highly enough!
NYCer
Tswalu or Cheetah Plains.
Anon
I liked the write-up on Mackenzie Horan’s blog – she did her honeymoon in three counties in southern Africa and did multiple safaris.
Anon
Mary Orton also honeymooned in S. Africa and did safari.
Anon
i would connect with a travel agent and find out the best location for that time of year. we went to south africa, botswana and zimbabwe for our honeymoon. we did the safari portion in botswana bc it was recommended for the time of year we were going (February). we also returned to the eastern u.s. afterwards. the easiest logistically is probably to just stay in south africa. link to follow with who we used
anon
https://new.karell.com/africa/
Deedee
In South Africa, go to phinda. It is next to Kruger but private and extremely well managed for both the wildlife and the local people who’ve been trained and paid to become amazing safari experts and talented kind hospitality employees. It was great to see the wildlife and also to learn about their business model
Anon
Check out Londolozi although I am not sure you can pop-in and out there just for safari, but it is amazing.
Anon
I recently started a new job with the U.S. Treasury and my dad wants a Treasury T-shirt. I’ll be in DC next week. Is there any place I can get a shirt with the Treasury seal?
Anon
Does Treas have an online store where you can order clothing or accessories? My federal agency does, but it’s not well promoted so I didn’t know about it for a while.
On the flip side, I work at an agency that’s a little divisive and I never wear branded gear unless I need to for a work event. I try to be as incognito as possible in public. I’m actually only allowed to wear branded gear while working but if I bought something on my own I’d never want to wear it out and about.
Anonymous
aw, this reminds me of the baby onesie that my dad got us from the USPTO that said “patent pending”
Anon
Oh man, that’s adorable!
Senior Attorney
https://www.fedsapparel.com/collections/department-of-the-treasury
Senior Attorney
https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Department-of-the-Treasury-United-States-by-Original1977/75152306.FB110
anon for this
Will you be at Main Treasury? There used to be a gift shop in the basement, not sure if it survived covid. The Treasury Dept Recreation Association handled the swag. They have a small online presence but I’d poke around in the building – longtimers like the cafeteria workers might know. There’s also a gift shop at the mint that might have Treasury-branded stuff as well.
Anoon
This is extremely sweet.
Anonymous
does anyone have any great flank steak marinades? i always find the beef so tough so maybe skipping the marinade is hurting me, ha.
Anon
I pretty much only make carne asada with flank steak, so I’m partial to something like this. Citrus juices help tenderize, but don’t leave it in the marinade for longer than recommended because it can get mushy. I tend not to do a 24 hour marinade, more like mid morning until dinner.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/186691/lisas-favorite-carne-asada-marinade/
LawDawg
The flank steak marinade from the Weber Grill cookbook (came with my grill) is the best. One of my favorite dinners. This is it: https://www.familycookbookproject.com/recipe/1984660/weber-marinated-flank-steak.html And don’t be afraid to marinate it too much. I will regularly have it soaking for 24 hours.
anon for this
This is for skirt steak, but I’m sure would be delicious on flank steak as well:
https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/grilled_skirt_steak_skewers/
Anon
I have found that Bachan’s Japanese Barbecue Sauce (https://bachans.com/products/the-original-japanese-barbecue-sauce) works wonders on tenderizing a tough cut like flank steak.
Anon
Office advice requested: I think I might be an interrupter. I can never find the right time to enter a group discussion I am part of to contribute what I want to say. It gets awkward when I do say my (relevant – I promise) thing. How do you find/make the right time to speak? The groups I’m thinking of do not have organic quiet gaps or a round-robin invitation to speak or facilitator. TIA.
NaoNao
I’d do a “bumper” remark before launching in and “hand the baton”:
“Oh, Narwhal, what you said reminds me…[remarks]…at any rate, action items. Lisii, I think you were going to add something?”
“What a great point [remarks], Todsil, do you have anything to add here? You and I were talking about this just the other day, right?”
Anonymous
OP, if you do the “bumper”, which I agree with NaoNao can work, there’s a very short way to appearing condescending if you appear to approve other people’s ideas when it’s not your role. Since you are aware that you might be interrupting, don’t escalate to interrupt and condescend. :)
Cat
If the conversation is going elsewhere and your comments are kind of “interrupt or be totally out of place later” then you could say “hey could we stick on this topic for one more question before moving on?” And then when you’re done say thanks and turn it back over.
Anonymous
What does “it gets awkward when I do say my thing” mean, and what is your general demeanor/personality?
Here’s what it looks like for me: I’m fairly serious-minded in meetings, and am there to get things done. If I get in a room of people who are free-flowing with ideas, stories, off-the-cuff remarks, brainstorming, half-plans, etc., I can get frustrated because they’re not taking XYZ into account, or they’re not accomplishing XYZ. So I break in and add “XYZ!” But I’m serious (and a little frustrated) as I do it, so I get too pedantic and forceful, and break the mood of the room, and it gets awkward.
Is what’s happening with you something like that? Something else entirely?
Anon
By awkward, I mean that I am trying to catch that exact moment when the last speaker has stopped speaking and has not started another sentence/thought, but the next person has not yet started speaking. Sometimes I am too early (and interrupt the last speaker before she finishes) and sometimes I am too late (and interrupt the next speaker as she is starting). That’s what I meant. I don’t think it’s the serious/frustrated thing – although I TOTALLY get that.
Anon
I think there are ways to signal that you are wanting to speak. Everyone is also trying to figure out when is an appropriate time to speak, so people are generally looking around and picking up on body language cues. Examples of non-interrupting ways to signal that you will say something: leaning forward meaningfully toward the end of the speaking person’s contribution (maybe also nodding or clasping your hands together on the table), audible but subtle ‘mmm’ ‘uh huh’ as they are finishing speaking (as in, ‘i’ll pick up where you left off’), an upward facing palm moving outward as you slightly lean back and nod (‘I have a perspective on this’). I’d try some of these and see if they work for you. Also observe what other people do before they speak.
Anonymous
Depending on group dynamics, sometimes you just have to interrupt. I think there is a polite way to do it and a rude way to do it, so I try and do it politely. But I am in a meeting weekly with about 20 other lawyers and if I don’t interrupt, I’ll never be heard. The conversation moves quickly and no one is really “calling on” people to speak. If the topic is about to move on, I will jump in and say something like “actually, before we move on I’d like to add THIS.” Or if it is related enough to what was last said I’ll jump off that.
Anon
I honestly don’t know . I interrupt people because some people never seem to come up for a breath.
Anonymous
This. My go-tos are “Jusr a sec, blah blah” or “Quick question.” This is why I prefer remote meetings—much easier to put a note in chat and dovetail in.
FWIW, instead of saying “good point, Joe” with a bumper, I think it’s smoother if you comment on the point itself and then transition “Yes, I like X idea.” That makes it less likely to sound condescending while also lessening the likelihood of the speaker regrabbing the floor.
Anon
This is really hard to diagnose or give advice on in the abstract. Is there anyone you have a decent relationship with who is in meetings with you and you could ask for feedback? Like say hey I’m having a hard time breaking into this conversation, any tips? It helps to have allies – If I’m leading or a key player in a meeting and I see someone is making body language that they want to talk I’ll “tap them in” by finishing my thought and then saying “anon looks like you had a comment?”
Anonymous
Lawyers – my 50-attorney firm has no policies or rules regarding partners writing off associate time. I am learning that many other firms have rules in this area. Samples: (1) if a partner is writing off more than $2k on a bill, a committee must approve. Or (2) if a partner is writing down or off more than X hours/$, then the partner’s own comp gets dinged.
Would you mind sharing your current/historical experiences?
Anon
At my firm, we assume an inverse relationship between mentoring/shoulder-to-shoulder training and write-offs. In other words, time that is written off is not proof of lost income but shows time spent investing in an associate and can be a “brownie” point for the partner to show that he/she is ingesting in the firm’s future partners. Admittedly an old-fashioned approach these days.
LA Law
One of the reasons my old firm loses associates at a remarkable pace is that they do not have any policy and partners are known to write off time (such that the associate gets zero credit) for reasons that include:
– not having gotten authority for the associate to work on the file (I lost an entire weekend to that one)
– the bill going past what the partner told the client it would be
– the partner making objectively minor revisions and then cutting the associate’s time to avoid double billing
– the partner asking the associate to do administrative work and then cutting their time
They would also cut time retroactively (after the bill went out), even if it was paid, to increase their collectible percentages or make sure an associate they did not like did not get a bonus (in one case the cut happened 10 months after the work was done!)
The partner I mostly worked for did not do this which is why I stayed as long as I did but I am still furious over the weekend I lost because a different partner asked for emergency help with a project and then cut all my time.
anon
Our policy is more informal (like partner’s comp could get dinged, but there’s no hard and fast rule). Also, partner writeoffs don’t impact associate billable hours for bonus purposes unless it’s part of a clear trend (e.g., of the associate padding time), and even then it’s a factor in determining bonus, not a direct cut in time.
Anonymous
There is an assumption at my firm that a certain percentage of associate time will be written down to account for the associate learning something new, taking too long relative to the difficulty of the task, and so on. The partner responsible for the case is free to write the time off as he or she sees fit. However, a partner writing off associate time (and not his or her own time) because a client bill is simply too high is not allowed and we apparently had abuses with this before I joined the firm. As a result, a particular senior partner, whom I consider fair and trustworthy, must approve all writeoffs of associate time. This system has worked for us, to my knowledge.
Additionally, associates are generally judged based on billable hours worked rather than actually billed and are not judged on collections. Basically, did that associate do good work and put in enough time and effort over the year? If so, they’re going to be rewarded at year end according to normal firm policies (meaning, get a normal pay bump and bonus).
Anon
My previous firm (I left two years ago) did have a policy about this. If more than 10% of the hours (I think?) it had to be approved by a committee. Partners could write off their own hours. Most partners were good about this, one partner came into my office and asked me to delete some hours in the system which was really not cool, because then they didn’t count towards the target (I hadn’t made any mistakes, the instructions were very unclear so I had spent some time doing one thing and then they took it in a completely different direction, which wasn’t my fault. Never did any more work for that guy).
TB
We don’t have a rule. If I write too much off, I’ll get an official talking-to, and other non-official comments from other shareholders. It impacts my associates’ realization rate, and the total amount of their bonus, but not whether they get a bonus. It also impacts my bonus, but in a more subjective way, as well as my salary/draw for the next year.
Josie P
Equity partners at my firm aren’t supposed to write off more than 20% of non-equity partners’ time. I am not sure how many people out of the 20 partners (50 attorneys total) adhere to this rule.
Deedee
On the belt topic, looking for plus-size belts with actual holes and buckles, not just slides, genuine leather or better real leather. Any suggestions?
My faux leather one is peeling and looks terrible.
Thanks
Anonymous
Have you tried the men’s department?
Anon
Double J Saddlery makes custom leather belts. Worth a look.
Lexi
I’ve found options to ebb and flow, especially if you want leather as so many are made out of pvc now. Anthropologie has a some nice options. I actually bought a nice one for $20 at H & M recently: https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.1221558001.html. It runs a bit big, I’m a size 16 and I need to take it to the cobbler to get some holes put in.
Also have bought from Nordstrom and Talbots in the past, but a good year for belts is pretty rare. They’re the last thing I get rid of because plus size belts are so hard to find.
Good luck!
Lexi
Just noticed the belt is out in a lot of sizes. Still, worth H & M in mind, was surprised to find it there and at a decent price point.
Anon
Ellos, JCP or Ralph Lauren.
pink nails
welp. just got evacuated from my office because of a contractor hitting a gas leak. holy cow that smelled up the area FAST. boss just sent everyone home. happy Monday!!
Anon
Glad you’re safe!
Anon
Thank you to everyone who offered advice this morning on eldercare. You’ve given me a lot to research.
If anyone has an eldercare consultant or attorney to recommend in Brooklyn, I would appreciate it.
joan wilder
I don’t have anyone in the Brooklyn area but I had someone in the Boston area who was a member of the Aging Life Care Association and they have good resources and a finder on their s*te as a starting point.
Anon
Thank you! I will look into it!
Anon
Do churches have funerals during Holy Week or Easter? A relative has entered hospice care at home and I am not sure how much time she has left. Her children will plan her funeral but she is my closest relative after my immediate family. I’m not sure if we could have a funeral as soon as this weekend before it is Palm Sunday or if it would have to be later. I get that it may vary by church, but my sense is that it may really have to wait, but I’m not sure. It’s a long drive or flight for me, but with spring breaks in our region, flying may not be possible to their airport.
Anonymous
I would say generally not but it’s not out of the question. My grandmother died 12/23 and her funeral was after New Years due to the holidays.
From what I remember it’s about a 2 week max from date of death; the limitations were the funeral home. Idk if it was logistical or scientific in nature. She had an open casket.
anon
I believe you have to embalm if more than 72 hours or something like that.
Anon
I’d imagine it might depend on the denomination
Anon
I have been there and my advice is to slow down and spend your time and energy thinking about your relative who is still living. Plan the funeral and your travel for the funeral when there has been an actual death.
Anon
Catholic Churches will not have funeral masses on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday of Holy Week. They could do a rite of committal or a vigil; my guess is that they would simply have it after Easter.
Lexi
Episcopalian here. My church hasn’t/doesn’t do weddings or funerals during Lent until after Easter.
Anonymous
That is a long time to wait for a funeral.
Anon
How do you not have funerals for all of lent? That could leave someone waiting 40 days, which just seems ridiculous
Anon
I’m Catholic, and I know of no blanket prohibition against funerals during Holy Week or the week following Easter. Our parish typically incorporates funeral Masses into weekday noon Masses, but different parishes might specially schedule them. The one obstacle that might present itself in Holy Week is that there is an increase in number of services, which could include penance services and Masses on Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday, so it might moreso be an issue availability of time.
Anyyyyn
Lutheran here.
We would have funeral services Monday ( after Palm Sunday) , Tuesday and Wednesday, none
Maundy Thursday , Good Friday and Easter Sunday
Anon
And in our city, a lot of clergy are off the week after Holy week, as are church musicians, since they are worn out after so many services back to back to back.
Also, with your work, if you have to arrange coverage, many schools may have a long weekend or spring break, so having a co-worker to cover for you may be hard to find (ditto pet sitter or boarding).
Anonymous
Holy Week is also known as He11 Week among church musicians.
Anon
Does the Roman Catholic church now celebrate mass on Good Friday or Holy Saturday? If so, that is a change since I stopped practicing. I would have said no funeral masses on Good Friday or Holy Saturday or Easter (or any Sunday), possibly a morning funeral mass on Holy Thursday. My information could be out of date.
Anon
I am an Episcopalian and my parish does not do weddings during Lent but we will do funerals. However, it would definitely not be scheduled for Thursday, Friday or Saturday of Holy Week and probably not the entire week unless there was a very strong reason to have it then (and it would fit in our chapel because the Sanctuary is booked solid),
Cat
at the risk of being too practical– do you know your relative’s wishes for open casket vs. cremation? one scenario has a lot more time pressure than the other.
Senior Attorney
In case it’s relevant, I’m chiming in to say we had to delay my mom’s service for about a month for Reaasons, and it turned out fine and gave everybody a chance to take a breath and get past the shock. So if does have to be delayed it won’t be the worst thing in the world.
Senior Attorney
…give or take the open casket issue, of course.
Anon
We’ve also had to delay multiple services for various reasons (transport back to burial location, funeral homes being booked, etc). Having the extra time is in many cases a blessing so you have some time to “deal” before seeing everyone.
anon
Late in the day, but a second for Phinda! Phenomenal experience all around.
anon
I’ve realized that I am very unhappy in my job. Our organization is a hot mess due to political factors outside my control, and I don’t see it getting better. I am currently a mid-level manager. Unfortunately for me, I am figuring out pretty quickly that I’m no longer qualified for quite a few of the specialist positions because I gave up a good chunk of the technical parts of the work to focus on managing and leadership. (I am providing feedback on the technical work and am generally knowledgeable, but I’m not “in it” anymore like people who do this all day, every day.) And I don’t necessarily want to continue in a leadership role; I would truly be fine with taking a step back and the pay cut that comes along with that. Ugh. I’m 43 and feeling very adrift in my career. Any words of advice or solidarity?