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As the season for holiday parties approaches, I have clutches on my mind — in part because I have apparently lost my favorite clutch, a blue leather number. I'm eyeing the Lauren Merkin clutches on sale at Last Call by Neiman Marcus for a possible replacement, particularly this pleated “Caroline” clutch. For my $.02, a classic red clutch is a great investment — it's great year-round, and while it's more daring than black, it's not so memorable that you can't wear it to a number of different events.
This clutch was $250, but is now marked to $180. Caroline Pleated Clutch
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Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Circe
Too pretty.
Also thanks to Lydia who recommended Compass Tours for an India trip. Just got the detail package, and wow! What service – am so excited and couldn’t have done it without the rec!
Equity's Darling
After you go, let us know how it went!!
Lydia
You are welcome! Have a great time. India was one of my favorite trips.
And in turn – thanks to all the scuba loving corporettes who advised me on buying the mask and snorkel. I stopped by my local dive shop and am all set. I am leaving on Saturday for my diving adventure.
Anonymous
Have an amazing time! Don’t drink the water. Ah India…
CW
I love Lauren Merkin clutches. You can sometimes find them on Gilt for under $100.
Ellen
Yes, I have a YELLOW LEATHER clutch purse that I bought from L Zone for only $35. I do not bring it to work because it is not to conservative and the manageing partner wants me to look conservative. It has a BIG gold Buckel on it.
negotiation question
Yay, coffee break! I wanted to ask a negotiation question. I recently applied for a job half way across the country, as my husband has an opportunity in that city that he would love to take (we’ve agreed he won’t take it until I have a job in that city). I got a call about an interview, and I guess they didn’t see that I’m out of state on my resume (it is listed prominently, so I’m not trying to “fool” them into thinking I’m already local). When I said I couldn’t get a flight booked in the short timeframe, they switched to a phone interview.
So, two things: first, if it comes to needing a second, face-face interview, should I ask them to fly me out there, or will they usually offer to do that? Second, we’d be willing to re-locate ourselves due to husband’s opportunity, and I don’t know if this position offers relocation assistance or not. I know some companies reject non-local candidates because of the relo cost. Should I tell them I’ll relocate myself or leave it on the table to negotiate that if there’s an offer? I don’t want them to reject me over it, when I’m willing and able to pay for it myself, but I don’t want to short-change myself if they’ve got it as part of the “benefits”.
my thoughts
(1) If they want a face-to-face interview, I would say they should fly you out, but I wouldn’t ask. I would just say something like, “A second interview by phone would be most convenient for me geographically, does that work for you or do you have any other ideas?”
(2) relocation assistance is part of the compensation package, so it shouldn’t be a deal-breaker for the company. They know you would have to move to work for them since they had to do the initial interview by phone. Once they make you an offer, you can ask about it. They would not rescind the offer over it but you shouldn’t bring it up until (if) you get the offer. Certainly don’t offer to pay for it yourself (doesn’t mean you won’t end up paying for it, but let them tell you that). Also be sure to sound excited about the job.
Good luck!
beccavt
I wouldn’t word it quite like that – it sounds like you would prefer a phone interview. In reality, you need to go there and see if it is a good place for you, and they won’t want to hire a candidate sight unseen. If you indicate that you would prefer a phone interview, they might try to “accomodate” you with another phone interview, and you will be at a disadvantage compared to other candidates who come in person.
If they offer another interview, I would just talk like you are coming in person (“that’s great, I’m really looking forward to meeting you in person/seeing more of the firm/experiencing new city”). After all, if you had been able to make quick travel plans you would have gone out there. This will prompt them to either set something up so they can arrange your travel, or they will instruct you as to how to arrange your travel, suggesting they expect you to pay for it yourself (I do agree with the above advice that you wait for them to tell you you have to pay for it, and don’t offer). If for some reason they will not pay for you to get there and interview, and your options are between getting yourself out there and doing another phone interview, pony up the cash because it will make much easier for them to hire you and will give you a chance to make sure you really want to work there.
Nonny
My two cents is that there is a huge benefit to actually going to their office, seeing what it’s like there, walking the hallway, and meeting face-to-face. You can pick up on things (positive and negative) much more easily in person. I have done the long-distance interviewing thing before (twice) and honestly, even if they don’t offer to fly you out, as long as the cost is something you can absorb you should just bite the bullet and go. Truly.
negotiation question
Thanks for the advice all. They actually switched it to a phone interview when I told them it would take me a day to line up a flight, so my first interview is in an hour! I completely agree that in-person is the way to go, so if I get the second interview and they won’t fly me out, I will definitely just suck it up and pay the money to go out there.
Bridget
I just started crying on the phone with a partner. I’m so embarassed.
I’m a senior associate at a big law firm, and I’m stuck in that horrible place of knowing that partner is not in the works for me but yet not having yet identified where I want to go next. Anyway, long story short, my indecision and, dare I say, apathy toward my job has started showing in my work.
So I got a negative review in my annual performance review today. They said, in short, that it’s clear I’m not invested in this job from my attitude/responsiveness even though my work is fine-to-excellent. They’re happy to either (a) give me another chance if I buck up, or (b) make calls to help place me somewhere I’d be happier, with truly positive recommendations. They were perfectly reasonable and nice about the whole thing, and I held it together through the whole thing.
But then I got back to my office to a call from another partner about how I’m falling behind on the hours I’m supposed to be putting in on this behemoth crappy project that is, frankly, way below the level of work and type of work I should be doing given my seniority and area of expertise. I know I’m behind, but it’s been hard to put in these particular hours when I’m feeling so demoralized. Which I basically choked out and told her between tears on the phone. She was, again, so nice and sympathetic.
I feel such a failure for being unable to act professionally and just.do.my.job that I’m paid for, particularly given that I actually do work for good, reasonable people. And I feel like a professional failure for not knowing what I want to do with my career. And then to not be able to even be professional enough to not start crying on the phone? …
Anyway, any sympathies, or concrete advice about how to proceed here?
karenpadi
First, the negative review is NOT a reflection of you or your work. It sounds like you are in an “up-or-out” firm and you are part of the “out” group. The firm, in all its crapiness, is starting to cover its back for when it decides it’s your time to go. It’s a crappy, awful situation and firms are awful, awful entities for doing this to people who have given years of good service. The review is reflection of the firm’s own inability to structure itself in a way that people can stay on for decades.
I’d be crying too if I was being treated like this. The partner on the phone knows you are being treated like this and, if she’s human, understands. She might even feel like s**t for having to call you out on your hours or having had to give you such a horrible project.
Second, start looking around. Make an escape plan. You can just start with a series of informational interviews. Reconnect with colleagues who have already moved on. Go to networking events. Take your in-house clients out for lunch and put out feelers. Heck, just start talking to the recruiters who email or call you.
Once you start putting out feelers, and start getting feedback, I think you’ll feel much better because you’ll know you have options. You’ll start having of idea of where you want to go.
Think about the next 6 months as a “firm sponsored” job search. Take the paycheck, bill “enough” hours to stay on the payroll and spend most of your time and energy getting out there.
Bridget
Oh yes, my firm is not just “up or out” but essentially just “out” — they don’t really make partners. But, honestly, I think it was a totally fair review not just CYA. I am struggling to have enthusiasm and be present, and I knew that was coming. I do suspect that my lack of enthusiasm necessarily stems from knowing that it’s essentially a dead-end job. How can one get enthused about that? Maybe that’s what you meant?
Anyway, I totally hear you on the informational interviews. I’m working on that. But yet somehow, I still don’t seem to be coming any closer to a decision about where to go next — how long will it take for something to click? And I’m still embarrassed for not acting professionally enough in the interim.
Anon in NY
Get on it. If you’re embarrassed now, think about how much worse it will be once you stay on at your firm and continue to get negative reviews…they may not be so happy to make phone calls for you. I would get out of that job quickly.
Diana Barry
Ditto. I know it is tough, but your firm should have an EAP and also outplacement people that will help you to find a new position – maybe those people will help something to “click” for you. Try to identify where you want to be next, what things about your job you like(d), what things you don’t/didn’t like, the kind of people you’d like to work with, etc.
karenpadi
I don’t think anyone can be enthusiastic about being in a dead-end job. I also think it’s unreasonable for a firm to expect that associates be enthusiastic about their dead-end jobs.
In this situation, not acting professionally is a pretty high bar. I say you are doing just fine if you aren’t blowing up at people, missing critical deadlines, committing legal malpractice, or acting like a weirdo.
I really don’t know what it will take for something to click for you. For me, “clicking” is dependent on knowing I will be working with people I have worked with before or with people who work with people I’ve worked with before. For you, it may be going into a new area of law or something else entirely. Have you thought about making your next step a temporary step (~2 years)? It’ll take some of the pressure off.
Have you thought about counseling? Your EAP should cover the costs. Even if you aren’t depressed/anxious, it might help to have a neutral person look at your review with you to see if it really is reasonable. The therapist will also be able to help you figure out your next steps.
anon
my sympathies. but it does sound like your firm (if not that particular partner) is at least being honest and straightforward with you, and is willing to support you in finding something more fulfilling. your ability is not the issue here, after all.
so i would take a few days/week to just let it rest, and maybe after thanksgiving or after christmas, start putting in some focused time on your next steps and plan. and i would consider this experience akin to a relationship that didn’t work out. it served it’s purpose while it lasted, and now it’s time to move on – and as others say, best to do so with mutual goodwill and with clear communications/expectations about what you and the firm need and want. maybe set a mental timeline that by (say) march 2012 you’ll be on your way someplace else.
beccavt
Honestly curious about this – did you know when you started that this was an “out” firm? It seems to me that it would be hard to hire new associates with this sort of system, if they know from the outset that they are pretty unlikely to be at the firm long term. Do firms generally a) hide this information, with a crappy bait and switch, or is more of a b) situation, where new attorneys are fine with picking a firm like this because they don’t think they want to be in private practice/particular city long-term anyway?
I’m a law student and the firm I am summering with made it very very clear that if they hire you as a clerk, they are expecting you to be a partner there, and for the most part that really happens. It was a big part of my decision to work for them, but maybe I am more risk-averse than most (the idea of having to find another job after several years of working somewhere sounds horrible to me). If there were an “up-or-out” firm I was very interested in, I might take a job there to see if I could be one of the few who could make it, but a firm like this seems like it would scare all potential new associates away.
Bridget
Yes, I did know. My thought process was the same as that when I chose the best college and best law school I got into: the path that keeps the most doors open. I just figured that as a young (in years and experience) lawyer, I had no way of knowing what I would like about practicing law and want to do long term. So, rather than going to a place with good long-term prospects, I chose for the short term. It wasn’t so much the money as the fact that the work and reputation are top-notch, which gives me more options to lateral to other firms or in-house or to government. When you don’t know what you want to do, this optionality is key!
Sensing a pattern? Six years later and I still don’t know what I want to do!
anon
In Biglaw, the firm that hires you as a clerk and expects you to make partner is a dying breed. Plus, if you get experience at an up-or-out white-shoe type of firm, you may be “out” there, but able to make partner at a “lesser” firm.
N
I would take their help to place you somewhere else, as well as start a search of your own. If you can get positive recommendations with you now, it is far better than to wait it out and then maybe have your dissatisfaction with the situation show in your work product for so long that all positive goodwill disappears.
Alex
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I am in a similar situation in that I’m senior and I have/had no idea where I want to go in my career – I just know it’s not here. Take some time to reflect on what you like about your work, what else you might like to do, and think about an action plan. It’s not a bad way to spend an hour or two over coffee on a weekend morning. Research, talk to people (informational interviews already in your sights).
I decided I need a more or less 9-5 with more flexibility and time off. I’ll take a bit of a trade off in pay to get it. I also don’t really care about the work. I realized I’m not invested in my career, and I’m okay with that. If something comes along later, great (or if I have the means to do what I really want at some point – I just don’t right now).
anon
A somewhat contrary opinion here. I understand that you feel crappy, but honestly, I don’t think your situation is that bad at all. You’re in a job that you don’t particularly like, but your firm is good enough to give you fair warning of what you already know and agree with (you’re good, but not committed). They are willing to give you a second chance if you want it, and if you don’t want it, they are willing help you get to the next step. Your partner, while she may have seemed harsh initially, was very nice and sympathetic when you started crying on the phone, so it seems that she is understanding of your situation as well.
Not everyone lands at a company and stays there forever. If your concern is that you don’t know what you want to do next, I would give yourself some time to work out a plan and in the meantime, try to keep things pleasant and mutually beneficial with your current company for as long as you’re there. It sounds like you’re tired and emotional (I would be, too) and embarrassed about crying (been there as well) but, all in all, I would almost be relieved. Everything is out in the open, you’re free to either give it another shot or really move on, and your firm is behind you either way. Good luck to you.
Bridget
I actually totally agree with you, so you’re not so contrary after all! I feel extraordinarily lucky to have them respond the way I have and offer the help they have. If one is going to be unhappy in a job, this is a great way to do it all things considered.
My post was intended to be a post entirely of frustration about myself and the way I’m handling my unhappiness and frustration … It seems downright ungrateful (in addition to unprofessional).
Susan
IANAL (I’m a finance geek), but I would say: given that you’ve spent 6yrs here at this “out” firm that really isn’t interested in growing new partners, I’d at least invest some time in seriously thinking about what you really want in your next job so you don’t end up in a similar situation.
It doesn’t sound like they’re trying to give you the boot immediately, so I’d invest whatever spare time you have (or make time) to decide on your direction (as well as identifying the sort of characteristics you’d want in a company relevant to this direction.)
Are you friends with other lawyers not at your firm? Perhaps law school classmates you’ve kept in touch with? It might be helpful to really check in with them, see what they’re doing to see if you’d like to do that (and at their firms). You don’t have to know all the answers about your future career path (few people really do), but you may get some interesting ideas from others.
As we get older and older, each successive career move needs to be more carefully considered, generally, as paths narrow over time, and you want to be moving in the right direction for you with each jump. I emphasize direction, because I find that that is more important than money and titles.
Good luck!
anon
Aren’t all biglaw firms “up and out”, but more out than up? Their business model wouldn’t work otherwise; not everyone can be partner, like not everyone can be ranked top 10% in their class. You either need to distinguish yourself in a field or be a big rainmaker, correct? You had 6 years experience at presumably a great firm. The firms that are actually hiring right now, only want experienced people, you should have no problem getting picked up by a midsize/midsize boutique, and will be probably enjoy your job a lot more.
Take The Help
I left my BigLaw firm as a junior partner and was too — proud, insecure, afraid they would know I was looking — to ask for outplacement help. Don’t make the same mistake. Your sole mission at this point is to land well, because you really can’t move again for at least 3 more years after that. Talk to EVERYONE. Ask EVERYONE you know for help. Consider ALL your options. Do not be stupid, like I was.
Take The Help
Also, take a hard look at your finances ASAP. If you need to pay off credit cards, do it now. If you need to refinance, do it now. If you want to take out a line of equity, do it now. BigLaw salary being what it is, wherever you land is apt to be less remunerative. Start planning now.
Anon
Ugh, no great advice – but HUGS to you! This could be me (but for the current crappy project part of it) and it’s not a fun position to be in. I guess the biggest question is: do you want to be partner? Like, at all? If not, then I would take this opportunity to think about what you do want and maybe take them up on the offer to try and place you somewhere else.
Bridget
No, I really don’t want to be partner. Without going into details, the lifestyle in my practice area is just not something I’m interested in long-term, and that’s true pretty much across private practice in the field. So I would need to commit to government service for the long haul or shift careers in some meaningful way. It’s paralyzing!
SF Bay Associate
My sympathies, Bridget. It sounds like a terrible situation… I hate not knowing what I’m working towards or why, which is how I feel as a mid level already. When did you realize you didn’t want to make partner? I look at the partners in firms like mine and can’t help but think that the gig does not look appealing. But neither does in house.
To jack your jack , Forbes had an article recently which talks about how women are burning out of work by 30, in part because we’ve been pushing so hard to get established in our careers. Except now that we’re here… now what? The goal has always been so clear before – the right college, the right job, the right grad school, the right job again. Except what comes after that? I wish I knew what I was working towards now.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/larissafaw/2011/11/11/why-millennial-women-are-burning-out-at-work-by-30/
karenpadi
Oh my goodness! That article describes me and so many of my friends so well. Thanks!
Bridget
I just wrote a response above to beccavt that touches ont he same issue: I knew very early I didn’t want to be a partner. I look at the people I work for, and I do not want their lives. My longevity has not actually been a matter of sticking my head in the sand and denying the lack of long-term prospects or hoping that I would decide I want to be partner, but rather soaking up the experience while hoping for something “click” about what I would like to do next.
But nothing is clicking for me! The article you sent is totally on the money in that I feel I have always just taken the obvious step — build resume, best college, best law school, most prestigious firm … and now all of a sudden I need to make a decision based on an other metric, and I don’t know how to do that.
Westsidebee
This is such a good read — I am similarly a senior associate at a mid-size firm (graduated in 06), and I’ve recently decided that I do not want to become a partner. While I haven’t gotten to that less-than-steller review yet, I can sense the beginning of it — a drop in motivation at work.
For me, I think I want to go in-house, and have started putting out some feelers. But I did the same thing you did until now — worked hard at each next step — school, grades, SATs, LSATs, summer job, first job — all striving to stay at the top. It’s true, my options have remained open, but it’s still kind of paralyzing to be here at this job, kind of at the top (meaning as far as I want to go here) and not sure what to do next.
Thanks for sharing!
gov anon
Bridget, I’m not sure of your field, but maybe start thinking about government service. Either Federal, or if a possibility, State. Sure my State gov salary sucks, and increasingly benefits do to, but lifestyle-wise it’s really hard for me to complain. Out of the office by 5 most nights, and I’m typing in my pjs on a Friday morning because I get a flex schedule and have every other Friday off.
Anonymous
Law firm and government aren’t your only options — have you considered going in-house?
SunnyD
Hugs! Warm, snuggie type hugs.
I had that feeling at my old firm and opted to accept their help with placement somewhere else. Especially if you’re interested in going in-house, this can be a win-win. You get out and stop feeling crappy and they place a lawyer at a client/potential client. I agree with karenpadi: use the next 6 months as a firm sponsored job fair–you’ve earned it.
Magdeline
After the discussion about s*x lives yesterday, I was inspired to liven things up. Just in case anyone else is planning to try mixing it up a bit as well, I thought I’d (over?)share. My fiancé and I are quite competitive and love Monopoly, so it was only fitting that I ordered “xxxopoly” off Amazon. The reviews are fantastic, and it seems fun and s*xy without being too out there/too bachelorette party-ish/too full of stupid tips you might find in Cosmo.
Anon
This is such a great idea. Thanks for sharing! My SO is always teasing me about how much I love monopoly. This seems like a perfect gag/fun gift for his upcoming birthday.
CSF
My husband and I got a “Love Is Art” kit a few months ago to commemorate being done with the bar exam. It was the most fun we’d had in ages. And now we have a “home made” portrait hanging above our bed.
M in CA
My back has been killing me for a while now, and today I finally had enough. So, I took an empty banker’s box, turned it upside down, put my keyboard on it, put my mouse on a smaller box, and bam: instant standing desk. (Well, kind of. My monitor is tilted all the way back and I still have to look down slightly, but I can still see the whole screen without craning my neck).
It doesn’t make my office look great, but I already feel much better.
Susan
“M” stands for MacGyver, right? :-)
Chimmichanga
My monitor can only be adjusted for tilt. I got so tired of hunching down to look at it that I took the stack of trade magazines I felt guilty for not reading or throwing away and made myself a colorful pedestal for my monitor.
Nonny
Can I just say, it is a real pet peeve of mine when people refer to carrying purses as “wearing” bags. A lot of people seem to be doing this, these days, and I don’t know where it came from. In my view, you don’t “wear” a bag, you “carry” it. Yes, it is part of your outfit, but unless you are physically affixing it to some part of your anatomy, you don’t “wear” it. Am I alone on this? Can we please just say “carry”?
Off soapbox now.
Diana Barry
I agree, this bugs me too. Bags are not for wearing, unless my 4yo has one on her head. :)
anon
no opinion, but i venture to guess that the transition from “carry” to “wear” started with the handbag makers themselves, and is a strategic move on their part to equate handbags with clothes in the mind of consumers. why? if handbags are like more fashion/clothes (decorative) and less like functional objects, it’s easier to buy into the concept of owning multiple versions, swapping in and out for different occasions, and changing them with the seasons. it wasn’t so long ago that people used handbags until they wore out, and didn’t buy another until they needed to. not now, obviously.
Argie
I have actually never heard anyone use “wear” in reference to their bags. And I agree with you – you carry a bag and wear clothes. If I were to say I was carrying my clothes, you certainly wouldn’t expect them to be ON my body…
Anon
Or, as us New England women say: pocketbook. How’s that for unfashionable?
Susan
“Pocketbook” is a charming near-archaic word, at least to my ears. “Purse” seems ugly to me. Because I think more of the verb, like pursing one’s lips disapprovingly!
But yeah, “wearing bags” sounds stupid to me, at least, if the speaker means “carrying a handbag”.
AIMS
Aw. Pocketbook. It’s up there with slacks for me.
Barrister in the Bayou
Are you sure that its not a regional thing? Down here some people say “I’m going to make groceries” when they refer to going to the grocery store… Let me tell you that just blew this Jersey Girl’s mind… even more than “washateria” for laundromat and “catty corner” for diagonal.
Nonny
No, I’ve seen it on a ton of blogs and websites lately – including Kat’s post above. Maybe it is a blogger thing? But it is annoying because the internet is everywhere and it is blatantly incorrect usage. Shouldn’t bloggers be promoting correct usage?
Now I sound like a persnickety old frump. I’m not, I promise!
Catelyn
Have any of you tried Eloquii out? I’m wondering about fit and quality. They have some really cute pieces (some of their dresses and skirts especially) but I have no idea how they’d fit me. I usually wear straight size 14 or 16. I know the website has a measurements chart, but I can’t find my tape measure at the moment so I’m looking for any input you guys might have! Thanks.
Accountress
Check out the fatshionista community on livejournal (fatshionista dot livejournal dot com) I know there have been a few posts on Eloquii- some are reviews, and some are about how they don’t go past size US24, which has left a sort of bitter taste in some fats’ mouths about the brand. It looks like quality fabrics and a lot of decent designs, so I’m hoping that it’ll be as nice in person when I get around to ordering.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
www [dot] izzygetsbizzy [dot] com did a review of the pieces she ordered. One thing that turned me off was their jeans have no belt loops. Also, similar to hers, my Obi Belt stitching is very crooked, but since the belt is black, I let it slide.
SF Bay Associate
Thank you to the ladies who recommended the Vornado personal space heater. With Amazon Prime, it arrived this morning. My new friend and I are getting along great :).
mamabear
Really? No stinky smell? No heating the feet only?
I may have to get one now. The reviews scared me off.
It’s nice to read a review from someone I “know.” :)
SF Bay Associate
It’s been great for the six hours I’ve had it so far. Doesn’t smell like plastic unless I stick my nose against the fan (just did sniff test). I stuck it under my desk due to its prohibition and my entire lower body is very toasty, and a coworker walking into my office just commented that it’s warmer in here than in the hall. No burnt toes like last year’s portable heater (which was leftover from college). I will have to turn off the heat function soon (it can run just as a fan) soon because I’m getting a little too warm, actually.
I’m also amazed how small and light it is. I could have actually looked at the listed dimensions, but it’s no wider or longer than my Cisco phone. Deeper, of course.
Mamabear, hold off buying it for a week, just to be 1000% safe. I’ll update next week with a review after 4 days of use.
mamabear
Awesome. Thanks!
eh230
Hurray, glad you like it! I have mine on right now.
terri
you can also stick it in your brief case and avoid carrying a traditional purse.
Locomotive
Hi ladies, can I get some advice on how much I should be saving? I have just started my first out of college job (2 months in) at a trading firm. I have a 80k base and a bonus that is suppose to range from 10-40k, although I have no bonus the first year and no idea what to expect later. I pay 1800/mn for rent + utilities, but I have no loans (scholarship) and minimal car payments (clunker) which brings me to about 2100 in monthly bills that are pretty stable.
I’m putting 8% in a 401k (employer matches half), but how much more of my income should I be trying to save? I have felt kind of all over the place the last few months – I’ve never had this much money before and I’m kind of overwhelmed. The culture at my firm is to go out to lunch/dinner a bit (2-3 $10 lunches a week, $30 dinners) which scares me financially but I am trying to participate to network and to get a firm social footing here. I still haven’t bought some furniture yet; most of what I have is from IKEA but I have seen that other analysts at the firm buy slightly nicer furniture. For some reference, I plan to stay at this job 2-4 years and return to grad school (phd). I know that I should be saving for that period of my life, but I feel like I would be miserable if I didn’t participate in these outings and buy nicer things that I can finally afford – I just don’t know where the balance is.
anon
aside from availing yourself of one of the many financial advice books out there (“Does this make my assets look fat?”, or something like that, is poorly titled but pretty well written) i suggest you start by setting some goals. it’s difficult for me to do anything without a clear goal in mind.
here are some potential ones to start:
– get out of debt in X years by paying down $Y a month
– have $50K (or whatever) saved by 2015 for grad school living expenses
– build a rainy day fund of (6) months’ salary in case you suddenly lose your job
– be able to eat out X times a week/month
– etc.
It takes some tinkering, but eventually this kind of thinking leads you to a budget, where you prioritize what you want to do with your money, and then manage your spending and saving habits to get there.
there are many, many more layers of complexity but i think a basic goal-setting exercise is a good place to start.
karenpadi
I wouldn’t worry about the lunches/dinners as much. It is important to get out and be social.
I lived as a student for as long as I could possibly stand it. Don’t fall into the mindset of “keeping up with the Joneses” re: furniture (unless you are hosting events in your apartment). I still have IKEA furniture 6 years out.
You are very lucky to not have debt post-college. If I were you, I’d try to “save” a student loan payment that is proportional to what your friends are paying. I think a good goal is to save another 10% (20% if you can hack it) of your salary and 100% of your bonuses at least until you have a 6 month emergency fund. If your car is truly a clunker, I’d also start saving for a new car.
V
Be mindful of who are “networking” with – it’s fun to go out people in your firm “class” but recognize that to certain extent this is not much different than going out with your non-work friends and is different from getting social face time with partners and more senior associates, which itself is different from networking in trade organizations or for business development. Also, if you are planning to leave in 2-4 years, consider whether you really need to do a lot of in-firm networking.
I’m not suggesting that you should be a wet-blanket wearing hermit, but as someone who blew through a lot of my salary for socializing and clothes and setting up house for years before getting my act togther, I urge you to think critically about your long term goals and compound interest (both what you pay and what you could earn) and balance that against going out for multiple happy hours with the same crew every week.
I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi is helpful for those who are young and suddenly well-to-do.
Lawyer Bird
8% for retirement (plus 4% match) is great, especially at such a young age. Your savings priority should be building an emergency fund; try to save 6 months of living expenses. Since you seem to have a good salary, try to save aggressively in order to achieve that in the next year (so if your living expenses are equaly to 50% of your income, you need to put 25% in savings for a year). That will give you a really, really nice cushion and a lot of financial freedom. Then, since you mention wanting to go to grad school, my suggestion would be to continue to save aggressively so you can get through grad school with as little debt as possible. If you get a scholarship, then you’ll just have a lot of financial freedom.
Of course, the plan I describe would mean you’re saving a full 1/3 of income (including retirement). That’s really aggressive savings and it may not be plausible. Your social life, work lunches, etc, are also important. Try not to fall into the trap of wanting to have the same stuff that other people at your firm have (like nice furniture), because they may not have the same life goals as you. But don’t be stingy about spending money on things that help you achieve professional success or that truly make you happy (keeping in mind that financial freedom will also make you happy).
I’m mildly jealous – I wish I’d gotten on such sound financial footing in my 20s. Good for you.
Lawyer Bird
BTW, I still have Ikea furniture in my 30s. And I live in a studio. Nothing wrong with that.
LadyEnginerd
Definitely don’t upgrade the furniture if you’ll just be moving to a smaller apartment when you move for grad school! I think you should spend your $$ on fewer, higher-quality things that will last into your planned period of austerity – for instance, a smaller capsule wardrobe of impeccably tailored classic clothes, or nice pots & pans/kitchen essentials (you’ll be using them when you can’t afford to go out to eat when you go back to grad school!). When I say ‘things that will last,’ I’m including experiences: now is the time to save up for a fabulous African safari, or pay for the backstage passes, or a hire a tutor to learn another language – whatever it is that you will remember for the rest of your life but not have to try to cram into the tiny studio you will be able to afford in grad school.
Let’s be honest: at a minimum, you plan to lose 5 years of savings when you do the PhD (most PhD’s pay a stipend of about 1/4 of your salary depending on the field- no huge loans, but no wiggle room & no savings either). After your PhD, do you intend to go back to a high-paying job, or will you be a postdoc? A professor? Will this relative austerity last for 5 years, or indefinitely? If you think about what you’re spending now through the lens that in the future you will have to live off of 1/4 of your present income for just as long as you intend to keep your current job, then the last thing you want to do is develop bad financial habits like defaulting to eating out for $30 dinners, or not tracking impulse buys. Plan a budget and stick to it.
From over here in broke-student land, I think you should save at least 1/3 of your income + all bonuses, possibly up to 1/2 if some of that is targeted for shorter-term planned indulgences (like, say, that safari). If you can’t be happy living on 50% more than you’ll be making in grad school, you will be miserable when you have to return to being a broke student.
Sincerely, A Broke PhD Student who scrimped for 3 years to get 6 months expenses in the bank and who has to be extremely disciplined to even start trying to save for retirement.
K
When I graduated, I was making 85K base and paying 1200 in rent. I saved 2000 a month. I wasn’t horribly scrimping, but it wasn’t super pleasant either. You should be able to manage at least 1K/month savings (and definitely save your whole bonus unless you want to use some of it for “life goals”, like that African safari someone mentioned).
My advice for figuring our your budget is: for 2 months, write down every single dollar you spend. At the end of it, group your expenses by categories and look at how much you’re spending in each category. Based on these actual figures, set yourself a budget for each kind of expense – say, 150 for clothes, 100 for gifts, 400 for dinners + lunches + drinks, 80 for necessary maintenance items (soap, dry cleaning, etc)… This budget should allow you to have a standard of living you’re happy with while letting you save as much as possible. After that, keep writing down your expenses and monitor where you tend to overspend the budget. Once you figure that out, you can stop monitoring your other spending and just control the problem areas.
Definitely keep on going to the dinners ($30 for dinner 1-2x a week isn’t that bad in your situation – though you might need to cut back when you all get raises and the dinners start costing $80) and don’t upgrade your furniture (my Ikea stuff, some of it bought second-hand, is still going strong after 6 yrs!). Your bigget challenge is going to be avoiding the temptation to keep up with the Joneses. While your coworkers are preparing for a life of luxury and anticipating very high income, you’re saving up for 5 years of poverty. You don’t want to keep living like a college student, but just keep in mind that unlike your cohort, you’re not a future hedge fund manager.
Good luck – sounds like you’re in great shape :)
LadyEnginerd
Arrr. 100% more. Double. If you will take home ~$20 – 25k in grad school, living off of ~$40-50k now and saving the rest will give you the practice in being responsible without the horrible feeling of Always. Being. Broke.
But seriously, listen to anon and V. Money is a tool, and it’s a shame to let it slip away on purchases that in the end won’t matter to you. I have decided that I’d rather pack lunches, live in small apartments in less-desirable neighborhoods, and avoid impulse-buying clothes if it allows me to go on some fantastic vacations on my own dime while still in grad school.
Rural Juror
Anyone have any buying tips or recommendations for secret santa gift exchanges at the office? We do one at my firm (just between associates). The limit is $25. This is my first year so I’m not sure what the norm is. I have a 28 year old female associate to buy for.
Anon in NY
Buy a giftcard, somewhere that she might like to shop/go. (Sephora, movie theatre, etc.)
Lydia
How about a tote bag? I have a bunch, but always find them handy.
Lynnet
Maybe a hand dyed silk scarf? I found a bunch on etsy in that price range.
Susan
Is she a car commuter? If so, you could get her one of those little handy safety/travel kits (mini first-aid kit, flashlight, etc.) things that people can stash in cars.
Hm….other ideas…does she drink tea? Maybe you could get her a nice little teapot + mug.
jcb
If she does drink tea – the best gift I ever got at the office was an electric tea kettle and heat-resistant tea-brewing mug.
Maddie Ross
Is it one gift for $25, or a series over a couple days? You could do things like a travel mug for coffee + Starbucks card, or fun knit gloves + mani giftcard.
Jen
Will someone please tell me what they think about these Franco Sarto pumps: http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/Franco-Sarto-Dublin-Old-Gold-Metallic-Pumps-Heels/4043862/product.html
They are on sale for $28 which is a steal for Franco Sarto, but they are GOLD and I honestly have no idea how to wear them or whether I could wear them to a semi-conservative office, any input would be so helpful!
mamabear
I’m not seeing those for conservative office wear at all. Sorry!
Also, they show up as more like $45 on my screen. Do you have some sort of Overstock Whisperer secret you’d like to share? :)
Jen
They are on sale at a local store near my house for $28, but they only have one pair left in my size so I have to decide pretty quickly if I want to get them or not. What would you wear them with?
b23
I have some gold Cole Haan shoes that are sort of like that, and I wear them to the office. They are one of my more infrequently worn shoes, but I figure the closed toe and conservative heel makes them more appropriate. Plus, it seems like those are a more muted gold, like mine. I wear them with more subdued outfits in the fall, especially.
Barrister in the Bayou
I believe I have them in Olive. They look great on, but if you have a bunion you may want to watch out. I love how they look, but I can’t wear them to the office; I refer to them as sit there and look pretty shoes.
Bonnie
On my computer, they look like a tarnished bronze. If that’s the case, I think they’d be cute with a pantsuit but that’s about it.
MelD
They don’t really look that flashy on my screen. I have gold flats that I find to be quite versatile and I imagine I’d wear gold heels even more often than I’d wear the flats. I think they’d look good with fall colors or as a pop if you are wearing something that’s primarily black or brown.
Nonny
…..prime example – that green dress from yesterday! I can definitely imagine gold heels with those.
another anon
I think it depends on how true to the color on the computer screen they are. On my computer they are looking pretty muted, and look like they would be fine for the office (and I think you could wear them with black or dark brown). But if the photo is not representative of the true color and they are really much more bright gold and shiny, then I would say they are not so great for the office.
AIMS
I think you could wear them with pants if they look as muted as on the screen. A woman in my office has gold flats she wears with pant suits and they’re cute.
Lydia
I think gold is totally fine. I have 2 pairs of gold shoes for work. One is a pair of light gold fabric kitten heel pumps and the other is a gold and cream print pair of Cole Haan ballet flats. The key is to wear them with more toned down outfits and to buy a style of shoe that is not over the top. For example, I would not wear strappy five inch platform sandals to work. I kind of think of metallics as neutrals (in moderation).
Suited Up
When you said gold, my mind went to glittery, so when I saw them I was pleasantly surprise! I concur that they would look great w/ a pantsuit (particularly if the pant legs are wide enough so that the shoe does a little “peek” out from underneath.) I could also see these w/ a pant like the J Crew “Cafe Capri” for a night out.
Jen
Thanks everyone for your responses! I just bought them and they are soo comfy! I am adding the words “tarnished bronze” to my vocabulary, so not gold :)
Shannon
I am so angry right now I have to get some feedback here. One of my coworkers has recently left and I assumed 90% of his responsibilities in addition to my old responsibilities and I am doing a good job. My boss is looking to fill that position, wants me to train that person and then he probably thinks we will all be happy. Well, through an accident I found out today that my boss is willing to pay that new person 30,000 ( which is 60% more than what i am currently making)more than me for the job I am doing right now. Oh, and I am meeting all of the requirements for this new position that HR has put out. I was going to wait to get a raise until review time comes around but I don’t think I can wait that long knowing that they are walking all over me. Especially. Since I am the only person able to train the new hire as my boss could not perform my responsibilities without having to be trained himself… What would you all think about this?
MelD
I would not assume anyone was walking all over me unless I’d made my interest in the open position known to management and was denied the opportunity to apply and/or interview. Picking up slack in the interim when a person leaves is completely expected, but it does not necessarily follow that the person taking over the duties wants that job for the long-term.
It also doesn’t follow that if you don’t want that job and have to train the new person, you’re necessarily entitled a raise without having to ask for it. This is the perfect time to mention that you’ve taken over a lot more responsibility and are able to handle it, so a raise should be merited. The key is that you have to be proactive, and until you do that it doesn’t really make sense to complain. Most employers aren’t going to spontaneously give you a raise if they think you’re satisfied with your current compensation.
Two Issues
I think you have two issues:
1. Can you apply for the new job (at the new or better salary)?
2. Can you get a stipend for doing both jobs for now?
Shannon
MelD,
Thanks for the comment. I will definitely talk to my boss tomorrow and show him that I have grown into that position and that I am perfectly capable. It’s not just that I assumed the responsibilities of the colleague who has left but it was also a higher position grade than mine which I always assumed they would try and hire someone with more experience than me but according from the position description and the resumes I have seen this won’t be the case ( my boss shares them with me as I will be involved in the interviewing process as we are such a small team).
I just don’t think that big wage gap is fair by any means and would rather quit than having to train said new person and then just see how he is taking over a job I have become accustomed to and am capable of performing well. And I do believe I have some leverage as I am the only person in the firm who can train the new hire on our systems and processes.
Kaye
What are you waiting for?!?!??! Apply for the job, TODAY!
MelD
Keep in mind that the wage gap is just theoretical at this point. From what you’ve mentioned about the application pool, it doesn’t seem like anyone there is going to merit a salary that high. I know where I work, there is a default max for people who apply to the job. If we recruit a specific individual, then s/he will probably get more than that max. If they hire you, they will probably do it at a much lower wage.
Shannon
Update…SO I talked to my supervisor. Told him reasonably about my accomplishments during the last year (going through all of them individually), talking about my future with the organization and that I think my job has changed significantly enough that’s it’s time to renegotiate terms. He agreed and says he will talk to his supervisor and HR to see what he can do. So yay…now the ball is in their court and I am curious to see what they come back with. I don’t expect to get a 60% bump up (which would be ridiculous) but I expect them to show appreciation of what I have done for the firm and how I am underpaid with comparable skills and the same job that they are offering the new hire for a wayyyy higher salary than my own.
Which leads to the next question: is it appropriate to decline the first offer they come back with? Say they come back with a 4% increase and I really want 8%. Can I say “no I want 10%” just to lands somewhere around 7-8%?? By the way, the firm is financially doing great posting record earnings every quarter and no layoffs during the crisis.
Susan
Maybe if they come back with something insultingly low, say that you’d like something closer to market (did they reveal how much they’d pay in their job posting?)
Shannon
Yes I know how much they are willing to pay for the other position that’s very much like my own and it’s more than 60% more than my own ( base salary). Bonus portion was even higher. I’ll definitely try and stick to my guns. My employer seems to have much more to lose in our department right now than me. I was thinking about leaving anyways and will only stay if I get a good increase, it doesn’t need to be 60% more but I am shooting for anywhere between 10-17%. High but shouldn’t be impossible because even with that I would be cheaper than anyone else they could get with my qualifications and trained. It would cost them much more to just try and find someone new and train that person. And I am working in a very specialized field. We only had 2 applicants for the position we have currently open.