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Updated: Nov 4, 2021 127 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Katlin Tote

Coffee Break

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black tote with tassel

Ooooh: I love this minimal tote from Boss. I generally prefer a zipper on the top of bags, but the magnetic snap closure is a close second. I also love the flat base (though I wish it had feet, but maybe that's me). At 13.5″w x 11″h x 6″ d it's kind of the perfect size — big enough for regular papers but not crazy big.

It's $515 at Nordstrom, available in black and a nice medium brown.

We've posted some of our Hall of Famer black totes below — what are you carrying to work these days, readers? If you're on the hunt for something more affordable, this $50 vegan friendly bag (also from Nordstrom) has been a reader favorite for a while.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Some of the best work bags for women as of 2024 include great totes from Cuyana (with a zipper), Tumi, Tory Burch (lightweight, a laptop tote), Lo & Sons, and Madewell (north/south). Also try this highly-rated organizing insert or these clever pouches with some of the less structured bags! If you're looking for a budget tote (or one in a specific color) check this Amazon seller (22K+ good reviews) or this Amazon seller (60K+ good reviews).

black tote bag
Cuyana
a great interview bag for females (and great work bag in general): the Tory Burch Ella
Tory Burch
black leather tote bag
Tory Burch
black laptop tote
Lo & Sons
black laptop tote
Tumi
one of the best work totes for women in the north/south shape: the Transport tote from Madewell
Madewell

(Looking for a luxury work bag? Here's our latest roundup…)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon

    I hate “zip top” totes that have a token zipper with giant gaping holes on either side of it. The only tote I’ve owned that truly zipped properly tip-to-tip was a canvas Land’s End beach tote. If they made it in leather, I’d snap it up in a second.

    • anonchicago

      My Dagne Dover fully zips. After having the contents of my totes spread out on airport security conveyor belts several times, the zip was a requirement.

    • Anonymous

      My Brahmins zip up fully, and have feet. And internal organization options.

    • Anonymous

      I have a leather tote from Knomo which zips fully. Similar to Cuyana but less $$

    • RCR

      Loving my Boden leather tote. Zip top does have holes on the sides but not so big that it’s a concern for me. That zip panel also allows for more internal volume at the top of the bag, rather than requiring the two sides to taper together at the top as they would if the zipper extended all the way from side to side (does that make sense??).

  2. Anonymous

    Does anyone have tips on how to find restaurants that will take and honor an online-made reservation for a heated patio? Every place near me says on their website they don’t honor Open Table reservations. Hate the phone. Hate showing up and being told they only have indoor seating which means my date night is completely tanked.

    • Anonymous

      You should try to address on your phone anxiety. Working low-wage reception jobs in university solved it for me, but I’m sure therapy would work too.

      • Anonymous

        We don’t have to do all things and phones are something I’m opting out of. Definitely speaking from a place of privilege though.

        • Anonymous

          That’s fine! Then you might not be able to get the reservations you want. Shrug.

        • Anon

          Maybe some of them have an email address that you can use to set up the reservation directly through the restaurant?

        • Anonymous

          But . . . Maybe this is a generational thing? Like Carvana and ordering mattresses online? Stuff that my parents could never imagine not doing in person?

          • Anonymous

            It is generational and it is a weakness. Other generations had weaknesses, too, like the Baby Boomers’ lack of empathy. It’s not really excusable, just identifiable.

          • Anon

            I am old, and I can order mattresses online, and use online banking, and I can also speak on the phone! I actually dislike the phone now after using it my whole entire life, but sometimes it’s a useful skill.

          • Anonymous

            I’m an old and use apps and such but sometimes a chatbot or app won’t cut it and you just need to talk to an operator. This may be one of those times if automated isn’t getting the job done for you.

          • Anonymous

            I’m the person who originally suggested addressing the phone anxiety. I’m in my late 20s, so even if it is generational there’s no reason not to identify a problem and fix it.

        • Anonymous

          What? If you have enough time to fiddle with an app, calling isn’t like an hour more time, it is at most moments. A s*cky date takes much longer to endure vs that.

        • Anon

          This! I can make phone calls when I have to but I hate calling and being placed on hold during my busy work day.

          • Anonymous

            Right? It’s like so annoying that the people on the other end of the phone at the restaurant don’t even understand that the people calling them (to.give.them.MONEY) are too busy to wait while they are juggling multiple calls and managing orders and suppliers and setting up tables and greeting and seating people and handling takeout orders and doing the accounting and preparing for special events and doing whatever else the demanding chef owner is asking them to do.

    • Anonymous

      We have had luck reserving specific types of outdoor seating (covered, not covered, etc.) on Resy.

    • Pep

      Resy.com allows you to search for restaurants with patios, and reserve patio reservation times. We used it successfully for this purpose a couple weeks ago (DC area)

    • Anon

      Where are you? Why would they take an OT reservation and not honor it? Sounds like a location issue and not an app issue – I’ve never had that problem in the Bay Area.

      • Anon

        I agree, this is so weird. I thought the restaurants opted in to Open Table. All of the ones where I am link directly to OT from their websites. I’d be really confused by this too, OP.

        • Anon

          I think she’s saying the restaurant will let her book a reservation but they don’t honor the request for outdoor seating and she isn’t comfortable dining indoors, so when she shows up and they tell her they have no outdoor seating she has to leave. That’s happened to me several times in various cities around the US. It’s pretty annoying.

      • anon

        I’m going to guess it’s because Open Table doesn’t actually track how many seats are available in the specific section like the hostess at the restaurant would do so they get 10 heated patio requests for 6:30 pm but only have two tables in the heated patio area.

        • Cat

          I use OT for outside seating all the time – it definitely “sells out” of different categories of seating, as judged by seeing the available indoor or outdoor seats change when looking at different dates and times.

          • Anonymous

            Same and have never had a situation where an OT reservation for outdoor dining wasn’t honored – and have had situations where OT shows “no outside, inside available”

        • Anon

          I don’t know. I sometimes try to get specific reservation times on OT and am told that time is not available. I definitely think there’s a tracking component.

      • Anonymous

        I have had issues with OpenTable reservations. Resy seems more reliable.

      • Anonymous

        I’m in a red state. The difficulty to make reservations for patios has always felt like part of the worldview that pandemic is over and why would you want to eat outside in winter.

      • Anonymous

        Even better — go in person. A human touch usually gets you much improved service and/or results.

        • Anon

          Who has time to go make reservations in person?!

          OP, get your date to call and make the reservations. Win win.

          • Anon

            YES, this was the best thing about getting married. I foist all calls off to my husband.

    • Anon

      Yeah, phone is the only way I’ve been able to confirm outdoor seating with complete accuracy, unfortunately. I don’t like making phone calls either but there are some situations where I suck it up and do it and this is one of them. I made a reservation for outdoor seating at the Cheesecake Factory last week only to arrive with my kid and be told they were only seating indoors. Fortunately my kid is still young enough that she thought a takeout picnic on a bench right next to the restaurant was a fun alternative. :) In a red Midwest state, so 98% of people have declared the pandemic over and no one understands why anyone would want to dine outside in November even if it’s 60 degrees and sunny.

  3. anon

    Talk to me about getting pets when your kids are older and life is really busy. We lost our beloved elderly cat a few months ago. I miss having a cat around, and I specifically miss him SO MUCH. Yet I haven’t even made it inside the animal shelter, despite stalking Petfinder on a weekly basis. I think I’m too burned out on caregiving in general. Older kids aren’t as physically needy, but their emotional needs are high. I am tapped out most days.

    I miss having a pet, but the idea of starting over with another is daunting! Let’s be realistic; I will totally be doing the work or overseeing my kids while they do it. I can now see that I had grown weary of taking care of an elderly animal, even though of course I did it because I loved him. I miss the fun and cuddles; I do not miss cleaning litter boxes and other messes that come along with having an older pet (so many puking episodes in the last few years). And he was pretty low-maintenance, as far as old pets are concerned. No major issues until the very end.

    What is even wrong with me? I’ve always seen myself as a Cat Lady; my friends predicted that I wouldn’t be able to go long without having one. But I’m dragging my feet, and the work involved is the main reason why. I’m not quite sure what to do with my conflicted feelings. Has anyone else experienced this and gone on to adopt another pet? I’m not super interested in fostering for a number of reasons, but DH would definitely not be on board with that plan.

    • No Face

      It sounds like you are not ready for another pet, and that’s okay! Get a pet when you really want one.

      If all you want are cuddles, you could probably volunteer at a humane society or rescue group without full blown fostering.

    • Anon

      There will come a time when you want to start over with a new animal more than you want to avoid scooping out a litter box. That’s when you take a stroll by the shelter and see if anyone with bright eyes and perky whiskers needs adopting. Not now; you’re just not ready, and the reasons why you’re not ready aren’t the issue.

    • Anonymous

      We adopted a middle-aged rescue Golden Retriever shortly before the pandemic, when our daughter was 12, life was insanely busy, and I had a ton of work travel. I am a lifelong dog lover but had been resisting getting a dog for several years because I was overextended and didn’t want any more responsibility or complexity in my life. It turned out to be the absolute best thing ever. Yes, the dog is a lot of work, and of course my daughter does barely any of what she promised to do. Most days, my long solo walk with the dog is the only time I have out of the house and away from people demanding things of me, and it’s more of a treat than a chore. In the evening after everyone else has gone upstairs I sit down next to her bed and pet her. When I start to get up to leave, she puts her paw on me to ask me to stay longer. No human could ever give such perfect, uncomplicated love as a pet.

    • Anonymous

      No advice, but I am right there with you. We lost our elderly pup earlier this year (after making it through the worst of Covid without a Covid puppy) and while I go ga-ga for photos of little puppies, I cannot imagine bringing one into my home quite yet. I miss “my” dog, but I do not miss the hassle and work.

    • Anonymous

      Don’t get a cat!! You aren’t deciding forever to not have one, just for now.

    • Anon

      I’ve burned out on pets as well. I have an older cat who needs twice-daily meds, and a younger cat with medical problems stemming from being a malnourished orphan as a kitten. Our pets tend to come to us out of necessity, we don’t seek them out (the elder uses doorknobs and literally helped herself into the house; the younger was dying under our deck) so it feels a bit cruel to say I can’t handle helping more animals if they show up in need, but…I can’t. Life is kicking my arse right now and I have nothing left to give.

      It’s okay to take a break. If you need animal time, spend a few hours a week with the cats at a rescue.

    • CPA Lady

      I’m just saying that the litter robot was my best purchase of 2020, hands down. I got the one that texts my phone when the drawer is full. I dump it out about every 5 days, and I have two cats. And young cats (dont get a kitten, they’re a hassle) are so much less work that sick old cats. If you’re not ready, then wait. But…ahhhh, cats are just the best.

      • Anonymous

        tell me more about this litter robot. Brand name? Did your cats take to it without issue?

    • Anon

      I am a dog owner, not a cat person, so my experience may not be yours, but when my kids were in their preteen and tee years, my dogs were often the only creatures in the house who showed joy and seemed to derive comfort from my presence. I needed that! You may not be ready or you may be overwhelmed or you may be grieving or all of the above. It’s ok to do nothing and see if you get to a point where the joys of having a pet outweigh the burden.

      • Anon

        Man, this resonates. I definitely have days where it’s like, at least the dogs still love me. And also agree it is nice to have entities in the house who really just want food and walkies and to love me. I wish my needs could be as simple as those of my dogs.

        Will add, I WFH full-time now and my husband only WFH part of the week, so 2-3 days a week I’m here by myself. The dogs are nice company when I need to vent after an infuriating conference call. They just listen and don’t judge. They don’t really offer any constructive suggestions for handling the indecisiveness and big egos I have to deal with, but I do get to rub their bellies, and it’s good stress relief.

    • Senior Attorney

      I had cats my whole life, and when I left my former marriage about 8 years ago I left the cat behind (long story) and really enjoyed being pet free for the next phase of my life. My new husband and I adopted a pair of kitties last year and are loving them. All of which is to say: It’s fine to take a break.

    • Anon

      In my experience, the cat finds you rather than the other way around. It may be a stray that decides to adopt you, if may be a Nextdoor posting by someone who has to rehome a beloved cat for whatever reason, it may be that a friend of a friend’s cats oops had kittens before they got around to spaying her.

      Enjoy having no litter box for a while, and the cat that needs you will eventually show up.

      • anonymous

        Yeah, I have five cats now because they have literally showed up on my doorstep. We’ve fostered and found homes for a couple of them, but the ones we’ve kept are just perfect.

        It doesn’t sound like you’re ready for another cat yet and that is totally okay. You can process the loss of kitty along your own timeline and maybe sometime in the future, you will be ready.

    • Duckles

      I don’t think it’s a bad thing to wait, for both your and the pet’s sake. A friend got a shelter puppy with three young school age kids and it has been hard on everyone, including the dog. No need to rush/ when the time is right you’ll take the leap!

    • Anonymous

      I think, based on what you’re saying here, that your next cat is a foster cat, not a forever cat.

      You sound like you might 100 percent be able to ground or pile the love on a kitten, or abandoned cat, and that it would be perfectly fine if it’s gone in three months. You can engage your skills without doing a ten year commitment.

  4. Anonymous

    What do you do for yourself when you’re feeling run down? Looking mostly for food suggestions but will take life suggestions also. Definitely feeling physically run down (though then that moves over into me disliking my job even more) and I feel it more the week after my period. Saw a dr. and iron is a bit off (though not by much); she recommended a low dose supplement and re-testing but her thinking is that I also need to gain a bit of weight to feel better; she says often people who are low appetite and just get by eating whatever/skipping meals in their 20s-30s start to feel it in their 40s. Her main suggestion was to “make calories count” — i.e. even snacks should have nutritional value/good fats etc. rather than just empty carbs. So thoughts on food? This always ends up being a problem than compounds – the more run down I feel, the more I don’t want to be bothered with cooking etc., so then I eat worse/eat less.

      • Anon

        Honestly my reaction was more like the doctor’s (for me this would be nutrition). And antidepressants don’t tend to work when what’s really needed is iron, vitamin D, and/or a good B complex.

    • Anonymous

      I have the same issue with getting too tired to bother to cook or eat. My best tip is to keep easy, appealing snacks around to refuel with before you try to make or eat a real meal. My favorites are cheese sticks, Clio yogurt bars, and Trader Joe’s Everything nuts. I also bought an espresso machine so I can make myself an after-lunch latte for a caffeine and protein boost. When I was in the office, I’d bring a cold-brew coffee with milk in a thermos or a La Colombe canned latte.

      Outdoor walks also help a lot. It’s hard to get out the door when you feel run down, but once you get going you will feel better quickly.

      Did your doctor check your B12 levels?

    • anon

      This is one of the reasons I batch cook. I do not like cooking meals on weeknights at all, even though I love to cook! I make a full meal or two for four (or more) and have that throughout the week. Plate, microwave, done.

      • Anon

        Yes, this! I have the opposite issue of OP- I never ever skip meals and when I’m hungry want to eat right now, not in an hour- but for me eating well is totally dependent on having easy, healthy, appealing food ready to go with little effort. That ends up being a combination of batch cooking and prepping/buying ingredients for salads, sandwiches, burritos, etc. that can be assembled in just a few minutes (the toaster oven is your friend here), plus some frozen stuff from Trader Joe’s.

    • Anonymous

      Nuts – any kind – will get you good calories and fats. I feel MUCH better when I am eating nuts or PB daily; or conversely when I start feeling run down and look at my diet, I almost always realize I’ve been out of nuts for months and then when I add them back in, I feel better within a week or two.

      No one recommends this but cereal – cereals in the US have a TON of vitamins and iron due to requirements. They won’t get you calories but they’ll get you iron etc. though FYI in order to absorb iron you can’t eat cereal with milk; so find a cereal you can snack on dry between meals.

      No harm in coffee. I am not a coffee drinker but when I feel run down I add it to my routine daily/every other day as a treat. BUT just like milk, don’t drink coffee with iron rich foods because you won’t absorb the iron.

      • Anon

        +1 to both nuts and cereal, cold or hot. One of my default meals when nothing else appeals is peanut butter toast on good whole wheat bread (I make my own, but find one you like and keep it in the freezer). Depending on your preference, add apple or banana slices, jelly, honey, or pickles and sriracha. I also like quick cook oatmeal (not the instant kind with tons of sugar, though that works too) with frozen berries and a little brown sugar (2 minutes in the microwave, super easy).

    • Anonnymouse

      I would go somewhere like Trader Joe’s and stock up on all the frozen items and packaged snacks that look good to you, so you can have things on hand to eat with no effort. There are a lot of options that are fairly nutritional and interesting, and having “fun” things to eat can help with appetite.

    • Anonymous

      My personal go tos-
      Nuts
      Bagels and cream cheese – I know people will say it’s just empty carbs but you do need the calories if you’re trying to gain weight + cream cheese gives you the fat
      Chicken/beef kabobs and rice – as in takeout from a kabob place; it’s simple but gives you a lot of calories and also the things you need right now like iron, b12 etc.

    • Anon

      Very specific to your question of what do I cook when I’m feeling down? I make a big pot of tomato vegetable soup. I think just eating a ton of veggies always makes my body feel better, and soup is warm and comforting and tasty.

      I’m sure recipes abound and I never do it the same way twice, but generally I start with sautéing some diced onion and celery, then minced garlic. Add tomato paste and let it cook a bit with the sautéed aromatics, add a few cups of whatever broth you have, a can of diced tomatoes, a drained can of beans (I like black beans but garbanzo or whatever really will be good) and then a bunch of veggies. If you have fresh, that’s great, but I often use about half a bag of frozen mixed veggies. Season with plenty of salt and pepper and oregano & thyme or whatever you like, let simmer till the veggies are soft, and enjoy.

      I do like this with some fresh lemon or lime juice at the table to brighten it up, apple cider vinegar would work too.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Add avocado or peanut butter where you can – avocado on sandwiches, peanut butter in oatmeal and smoothies, etc. Cheese too.
      Steam-in-a-bag veggies + instant rice + rotisserie chicken – easy and nutritious.
      In a pinch, a Wendy’s frosty gets you a calcium boost.

      • Anon

        So this isn’t an all-the-time thing to do as a substitute for a poor diet, but after a period where I was super busy and stressed to the max at work, and was eating whatever I could grab between meetings (even into the evenings) for months at a time, I did a series of 3 B-12 shots and feeling better from those really helped me reset myself and get back on the right track nutritionally. Sometimes when you’ve been run down a long time, you stop remembering what “good” feels like, and an immediate hit of feeling good helps reset habits.

        I totally echo the comments above about nuts and peanut butter as energy foods. One of my go-to snacks is a spoonful of extra-chunky peanut butter; if I have enough time I’ll slice up an apple and eat that too. I will also buy grapes and keep a bowl of them on my desk and eat them in or between meetings on busy back-to-back days; by the end of the day I’ve had a full serving of fruit and it also helps keep my energy more level.

  5. NYCnewbie

    Does anyone have a current favorite boot/bootie? I’m looking for waterproof, wider toebox, something I can walk a couple of miles in. There are so many choices! I’m eyeing La Canadienne boots, and while they don’t have wide sizes, is the toe box on the wide side? I’m not worried about price for this purchase; I’m looking for something to keep my feet happy. Also open to store recommendations in Manhattan for trying on.

    • Anonymous

      I have a wider toe box and have been happy with boots from Blondo and La Canadienne. Aquatalia has always been too narrow for me.

    • Cat

      LC has a wider toe box than Aquatalia does; I don’t have a wide size but they are def roomy. Sizing up a half-size in Aquatalia also did the trick for me.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Have you tried the Sorel Harlow? I just replaced my old pair with a pair of Blondos and I think I like the Harlows a hair more.

    • NYNY

      Sounds like you’re willing to spend on a comfort brand. Harry’s Shoes on the UWS is great for that.

  6. baking

    Have you baked anything good lately? Looking for ideas on something fun and tasty to bake this weekend!

    • Senior Attorney

      My husband likes to make this Better Homes & Gardens coffee cake. It’s easy and delish:

      1/4 c. salad oil
      1 beaten egg
      1/2 c. milk
      1 1/2 c. sifted all-purpose flour
      3/4 c. sugar
      2 tsp. baking powder
      1/2 tsp. salt

      Topping:
      1/4 c. brown sugar
      1 T. flour
      1 tsp. cinnamon
      1 T. butter, melted
      1/2 c. chopped nuts (we use walnuts)

      Combine oil, egg, and milk. In a separate bowl sift dry ingredients together. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients a cup at a time, stirring well in between each addition. Pour into a greased 9″x9″ pan.

      In a small bowl, melt butter in the microwave. Add the rest of the topping ingredients and stir with a fork until the butter is completely mixed in. Crumble over the cake batter.

      Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes. Insert a toothpick in the middle and if it comes out clean, the cake is done and you can eat it!

  7. Last few weeks

    I am ABOUT TO leave my boring job for a new one in another city! So exciting but can’t tell anyone in real life yet. What are some of the things I should be thinking about/doing as I get ready for this transition?

  8. career changing

    I have been interviewing for jobs in data analytics, at the moment I think beyond the phone screen for two jobs that are quite different. Job 1: Medium sized company of about 1000 employees, where the role is a senior data analyst position. The incumbent is leaving and this recruitment is to replace her, the company is in an industry that I have been interested in for a long time, something adjacent to my experience in academic research. However their current reporting tools are in Power BI, I have done a course on Udemy but have not used it in a professional setting, and I was upfront about this in the interview. Job 2: I did the technical interview (programming tests in R) for this post today and the manager seemed satisfied, but I did realize that the position deals with much larger volumes of data than I am used to in academia, the job is in a large logistics corporation (more than 40,000 employees) so no surprise there. There would be potential to learn new things if I did end up there. The manager did ask if I am open to learning new modelling techniques etc. At the moment I think I will advance to step 3 for Job 1 and the manager for Job 2 did allude that I could advance to step 3 for that position as well. I was expecting that at this stage I would have a clear preference for one job and not the other but instead I find that there are things I like for both. For all my academic positions I have only had one prospect at a time and have never had an opportunity to compare. Assuming I move forward for both jobs, what questions should I be asking to try and tease out which might be a better fit for myself? At the moment my only worry is that since Job 2 is advertised as entry level, I am still not sure if they will take into account the experience I do have using the programming languages they use. However the current stack they have includes elements like R which I really enjoy using. For Job 1, I would be the main data person, might have the opportunity to hire an intern, however I do worry about feeling out of my depth since their current dashboards are in a tool I have to learn pretty quickly. Both jobs involve reporting to senior management. Would appreciate advice and insights from people who have had to change careers after several years in one field.

    • Donnyandbuster

      PowerBI is not too hard. Take a current file and click on transform data and look behind the scenes a bit. You can also bring in some R code.

      Not sure how to decide what to choose, salary is a big factor but also culture, ability to get promoted, boss, etc. Look up interview questions and most generic ones should help get you the info you need, but I’m not the best person because I suck at knowing which questions to ask.

      Also, entry level might not be terrible if it allows you to adjust and get a handle on everything!

    • Clara

      Job 2 sounds more appealing to me, but I like programming a lot.
      I think its important to consider whether you want to go in the R or PowerBI direction long term in your career. Some people end up making a lot of dashboards or doing a lot of business intelligence work and end up wishing that they had the chance to do more programming.
      I don’t think the larger quantities of data are a big deal/jump, but make sure the infrastructure is solid (database etc) and there is someone other than you to administer it.
      Agree that pay is very important as well.

      • career changing

        OP here: thanks Anonymous, Donnybuster and Clara for your input. At the moment salary is one thing I am thinking of, I already know the range for Job 1 because I spoke to HR this week, but don’t know the range yet for Job 2. @Clara, I also really like programming alot and that’s my worry with Job 1, even though it is an industry I have wanted to get into for so long. All the current data stuff in Job 1 is being done in Power BI (which I am already learning) so not sure if I will get to program as much. The boss in Job 1 highly values data visualization, so HR even asked me to send samples of any previous work I had done. He is also pretty hands off (and travels alot), gives lots of freedom according to the incumbent who is leaving. Will definitely look up questions that can help ask things related to culture for the next steps in the interviews. And if things move at the same pace for both positions, then comparing salary ranges will also make things clearer.

  9. Anom

    Is there a good way to address in a cover letter the disconnect when you, as a 12th year biglaw associate, apply for an in-house position that is advertised for 3-6 yrs of experience? I want to pull back, I’m already at 75% billeable goal so the salary cut is less steep. I don’t want a very senior position and I do want this industry very much.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, I didn’t realize it was possible to be a 12th year associate.

      • Doing This a Long Time

        There are many, many firms were you can be a 12th (15th, 20th, 30th) year associate. Those are firms where partnership is reserved for rainmakers with an actual collectible book and/or people who routinely bill 2500/year. I work at one of those and if you value time more than money they can be great places to work.

        The “up or out” mentality is a creature of a very specific kind of firm and is by no means universal.

        – Signed Been in Practice 25 Years and Happy to Be An Associate (although my formal title is fancier it is what I really am on a substantive level)

      • Anonymous

        Probably somewhere like Cadwalader and that sort of BigLaw. Solid worker maybe with no book of business or the sort of industry where there is a clear pyramid among lawyers and only one person can be on top.

        • Anom

          I’m a specialist. I support M&A and other non-litigation practice areas. Also, part-time so I’m less expensive.

      • Anon

        I’m a 2010 law school grad who left my AmLaw 50 firm in 2016 but a friend from my class year is still there and has the title associate so I guess she’s an 11th, almost 12th year associate now. The firm has a “counsel” tier between associate and partner, and it’s possible to make partner without being an equity partner.

    • Cat

      so as someone who interviews people for that experience level – address it in your cover letter but it may be tough.

      Tough love here – the assumption you’re battling is that you’re desperate to bail from Biglaw since you’re being pushed out after partnership didn’t work out, will say anything to get a lower-level job, any job, but once hired will be frustrated that you’re reporting to people that were your peers. So you need to show you’ll be able to swallow your pride, and recognize that decisions need to be escalated sometimes for bureaucracy & politics reasons (rather than you don’t actually know the answer), etc.

      In general for in-house, showing you understand the value of giving practical, business-friendly advice is a big plus, and that you’re willing to take on new practice areas particularly if the in-house department is on the smaller size.

      • Cat

        so in the cover letter, “I recognize my years of experience are higher than this is advertised for, but I think I would be a good fit because… “

      • Anonymous

        This might be correct at your office but not in many. Not everyone has an everlasting boner for big law. Many companies are simply pleased to have a more experienced option. I wouldn’t address it at all.

        • Cat

          I think not saying anything at all is a mistake because it doesn’t show that you understand what the employer is advertising for. Not that we have a “boner” (gross, btw) for Biglaw, just you don’t want the prospective job thinking you’re applying via email blast regardless of what the job description says.

          • Anonymous

            There are ways to address your specific interest in this position without apologizing for being even more qualified than required.

        • Anon

          That’s a significant gap in experience, you have to address it. Otherwise the hiring manager assumes this person isn’t going to be happy and they don’t even get an interview.

        • Anon

          Sorry but more companies think like Cat said, and retention/job satisfaction is a big issue. I think it’s smart to address it and like her approach.

        • Anon

          I don’t see what having a “boner” for Big Law has to do with it. In general whenever you are very overqualified for a job people question why you’re interested and whether you’ll stay if you do get the job. I think it makes sense to address it in the cover letter.

    • Anonymous

      FWIW I am a BigLaw partner. A client had an opening last year that an associate applied for, which matched the description of experience. They hired someone who had been out of school longer than me. They sometimes like getting experience when they don’t have the budget to hire at that level. The hire wasn’t a stranger but someone that were familiar with through prior work for them.

  10. Anonymous

    Does anyone have a zero degree sleeping bag that you love? Current 30 degree bag isn’t cutting it, even with a liner (it is 15 years old, so maybe not performing as a 30 degree bag anymore).

    Also, is the Baxter State Parka truly the warmest coat ever? Whatever it is, I may need to look into that.

    • Anonymous

      I have a Mountain Hardwear Hyperlamina Spark. It looks like REI doesn’t have them anymore so might not be helpful. I use it probably twice a year in 30 degree weather and it keeps me toasty. I do wear heattech pjs and a hat and layers though.

    • Anon

      I have the Baxter State Parka from llbean. My husband has the men’s version. We live in the NE and find it sufficient for winter. I don’t know that it’s the warmest ever, but it covers my hips and I think that helps a lot

  11. Skinny Jeans

    I have an unexpected first date (coffee) tomorrow evening and I’m trying to figure out what to wear. We’ll be sitting outside in mildly cool climate. Are black skinny jeans with riding boots totally out of style? I’m in my early 30s, and between my old age (haha) and COVID, I feel like I don’t know how to dress anymore.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t imagine the other person (assuming your date is a male) will have much of a clue what’s in style, so wear what makes you feel good!

    • Anon

      It’s not “in style” in a fashion sense, but for a date you should wear what makes you look good and feel confident. Straight men don’t know or care what’s in style and your appearance and attitude matter much more than what’s current fashion-wise. It sounds super cute to me! Good luck. Hope you can give us a fun update on Monday ;)

    • Cat

      Black skinnies and black boots are still good. I think blue with brown or tan is the older look. Have fun!

  12. Need a little boost

    I need to get a specialist’s appointment, but I’ve been procrastinating.

    Have a lump, and it’s very pronounced on PMS days and not very much on post-period days so far. I’m not looking forward to the conversation with the GP that yes, it is a lump and it’s big I promise (egg yolk size), but you won’t feel how big until in three weeks.

    I feel like such a hypochondriac when I know that it’s probably a massive cyst again but there’s only a little window in my cycle where you can tell, unambiguously, that it’s a lump and not just part of a fibrocystic bust. And then I also know that if it should be a bad one this time, time is short and I need speed.

    Yell at me?

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