Coffee Break – Knocked Up Leather Bag

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Knocked Up BagThis one is kind of odd, so first, a story. About a year ago, I had the privilege of meeting another fashion blogger for dinner, who arrived with a huge, chic blue bag that I instantly recognized as Rebecca Minkoff. It was bigger than the MAB, though — which, weirdly enough, I had just returned (in a blue leather!) because I disliked the length of the shoulder strap. Her bigger version was the perfect go-to-work bag — big enough for files and folders, but chic enough for the weekends also — and the strap seemed perfect. Where did she get it? I didn't want to gush, and hey, I had my shopping credibility to protect — but it has stumped me for almost a year now, and my ears perk up whenever I hear of a Minkoff sale going on. Lo and behold, a few days ago on Gilt, I came across the exact same bag — and it's a diaper bag. Brilliant. I've endorsed diaper bags before as great bags for working, childless women — I carried one all through law school! —  and this one is the same. The leather ones (pictured) are around $315 on Gilt through 2/25 (look under the children's section); you can also find Minkoff baby bags at Endless and Bloomingdale's (although it looks like Gilt is the only one with this particular bag). Knocked Up Leather Baby Bag
(L-5)

74 Comments

  1. I was thinking it was such a weird name for a bag until I read the entire post. It looks nice but is out of my current price range.

  2. I love the Timi & Leslie Charlie tote, which is also a diaper bag but is amazing and fits everything.

  3. “Dream Job” interview last week — and I think it well well. How do I keep myself from going nuts until I hear back? I’ve done the thank you / follows up and got a few seemingly positive responses (great meeting you too, etc…)

    1. Keep yourself distracted. It’s easy to start obsessing, second-guessing about your answers, etc. Good luck!

    2. A great distraction would be doing a wardrobe cleaning.
      You get all your clothes out and reorganize them and take what needs to be taken to the dry cleaner, fold neatly your sweaters, iron what you have to iron.
      In the process you can start making mental pictures of what you’d be wearing to your new job, and in need be start filling the wardrobe gaps.

      Whenever, I decide to clean up my closet, it takes me days (and I don’t even have a closet per se!)
      Let us know if you got the dream job :)

  4. This is beautiful! I am thinking about getting rid of the “regular” diaper bag (from target) bc I never use it – I just throw the kids’ stuff in my bag.

  5. Holy cow – genius! I have been searching for a non-tote-looking-tote-bag for weeks – this never occurred to me! Probably because I am childless. Also, score for not avoiding mommy-frumpiness!

  6. No. I shopped on Gilt and other such websites for awhile until I realized how truly ridiculous it was that I had to be a “member” for the privilege of giving them my money.

      1. Maybe Gilt’s changed now, but they used to require that someone “invite” you to join, with a secret code and everything. It was free then too, but still so wrong. IMHO.

        1. I am not sure that bothers me, especially given the democratic handling of invitations. At this point, you say you want to be invited & within minutes they invite you. I guess its a little convoluted, but I can’t say it bothers me. Now, something like paying for a Costco membership I can understand…

        2. i think that was the case when the site was still in its infancy (aka testing phase), but it’s pretty easy to get an invite now – and the same is true for rue la la, hautelook, etc.

          1. They really do have some great deals, though. I have purchased about 5-6 designer things for a fraction of the price that I’ve seen them listed elsewhere.

            I wish they offered some sort of shipping deal if you order more than one item in a week. You have to pay shipping for each sale.

  7. So I just got an in-house job offer. I hate my current job (biglaw) and have been looking to leave for a while. The new job would be perfect except – 1) I’m 3 months pregnant and 2) I would be facing a significant pay cut. Is it really stupid of me to leave behind a well-paying job I hate with great maternity leave for the new opportunity?

    1. Congrats on the offer. Are you aware of the in-house maternity leave policies? I would try to figure those out. If you need the biglaw salary to cover maternity expenses, maybe this isn’t the right time to switch. On the other hand, having a job you hate and an offer (which you didn’t mention if you are thrilled about or just so-so) seems a good position if the salary cut wouldn’t jeopardize your financial needs/goals. Have you considered how the firm to in-house transition will affect parenting time if this is your first child / you aren’t already doing the juggle?

    2. What would the maternity leave situation be like at your new job, especially given that as a recent hire you wouldn’t fall under the FMLA? If it’s acceptable, I say take the new job.

      Think of it this way. You’re leaving a 70-hr workweek and more money than you need, in order to work 45 hours a week and have enough money. Your baby probably would prefer spending time with you to having extra money.

      1. Thanks for your responses.
        At the new job, there really wouldn’t be any paid leave to speak of – just whatever vacation/sick days I have accumulated by then (likely about 2 weeks). And I don’t think we’re in a financial position where I can afford to take more than 2 weeks unpaid, which means I would be returning to work after 4 weeks. I know women do that every day, but it is hard to accept that when my current position offers 16 weeks paid leave.

        I think switching jobs would be better for my family in the long run in terms of my happiness/free time/even long term career prospects, but I am nervous that the short-term benefits of staying here (more money, far better leave, way more time to spend with my baby for its first 4 months) are much better and that I should just suck it up here and find another job during/after my maternity leave. But the job hunt has been so long and hard, while I have been miserable and looking to leave for nearly two years so I can’t help feeling like I should pounce on this opportunity.

        The new job is very different from what I do now, and sounds really intriguing to me, but I can’t say it is my “dream job” because it is in an area that I had never really thought about practicing. However, it is far superior to what I am doing now, which I absolutely despise to the point that I have a difficult time getting out of bed to get ready for work in the morning.

        I am just feeling very guilty and thinking I am being selfish by wanting to take this job and depriving the baby of having a full-time mom for its first few months. If not for the baby, I would have given notice at my current job about 2 minutes after I got the offer from the new job yesterday.

        1. Just a thought – could your husband/partner take an extended paternity leave through his employer? I know some employers split parental leave based on who is the “primary caregiver.” So if you wanted/needed to go back to work after just four weeks, he could stay with the new baby full time for the extra few months. If he’s been at his job for a while, he may have racked up a good parental leave option. I’m not sure if it would work for your situation, but it could be an option.

          1. This. It sounds like it would work out so much better if your husband could have some kind of a paid leave after you finish your leave, although outside of biglaw it is rare for jobs to offer paid leave. (Even a few weeks of vacation time would be good though)

          2. @Fiona – Good point.

            Do you think that telling potential in-house employer about pregnancy (assuming they don’t know) and trying to negotiate longer maternity leave would be effective? Something along the lines of: “I would love to accept this offer, but in the interest of full disclosure, I am expecting in six months and would like to discuss maternity leave options as part of a benefits discussion.” Or would this be discouraged based on possible risk that they would withdraw offer (if that is legal… maybe not, again, fur kid only here)?

          3. Similar brainstorm – how about telling new employer that, in the interest of full disclosure, you’re expecting and you’re “not sure that it’s fair to them to have you take leave so early on” – and that starting about a year from now would be preferable, with the understanding that they might have filled this particular spot by then, but that you’d absolutely be interested in that timeframe? Might not work out, but probably better than just turning down the offer.

        2. I have 3 kids. I worked biglaw until the oldest was a little over a year old. If you despise your job as much as you say, you should take the new job. You’re going to be exhausted for, like, a year, and working loooong hours at a job you hate and resent even more now because you’re missing your baby. That will make you really miserable.

          1. this. Given how clearly you’ve stated your feelings, you definitely don’t want to be ending maternity leave (even a longer one) to go back to something you hate.

        3. I think that returning to work after 4 weeks would be unacceptable for me. Since you scored the in-house job now, you can probably score a similar job a year from now too. I’d stay at the firm, take the longer maternity leave, and start looking for a new job again a few months after returning.

          However, that’s me. If you hate your current job that much, or if there’s a chance your husband could get extended paternity leave, then it makes sense for you to take the in-house gig.

        4. You might also consider negotiating working part-time work for 1-6 months after you return from leave; they’ll still be getting the benefit of you as an employee, you’ll be able to spend more time at home (albeit on a smaller salary).

      2. I’m not sure just because she’s going in house we can assume she’ll be working 45 hours a week. It could very well be 70+. Just depends. She might love those 70 hours much more than at her current job, but the days of all in house jobs having “good hours” are pretty much over (if they ever existed).

        1. Absolutely. I work in-house and I generally work about 55 – 60 hour weeks. During certain months of the year, it is more like 70 – 80 hour weeks.

    3. Keep in mind that the short-term benefits of your firm’s maternity leave policy are exactly that — short term. As soon as you come back, you’re right back into crazy hours. Are you ready to be working full-time at your firm with a baby at home? Are you going to start looking for another job right after coming back? Is there a real chance of part-time at your firm (and would you want to consider it)?

      The significant pay cut is likely anywhere you go from BigLaw. I went from BigLaw to gov’t and cut in the range of 50%. Yes, it hurts. But I’m home at a normal hour, don’t work weekends and am so much more involved in my kids’ lives than I could have been before.

    4. Could you bring up the pregnancy with the in-house and try to negotiate more maternity leave?

    5. I was in the exact same position as you – in the same month of pregnancy, too. You need to take a job that’s as close to perfect as possible because leaving your baby after your maternity ends is so painful on its own, but going back to a job that you hate would be even worse. Seriously. I left Biglaw (with 12 weeks’ full pay) for an in-house job (6 weeks’ partial pay plus 6 weeks unpaid) but at least when I returned to my in-house job, the hours were sane and I could leave and be home by dinnertime every night and could spend every weekend minute with my children. Your career is long – maternity leave (even the great ones at Biglaw) is very short. I also think that good in-house jobs are hard to come by.

    6. Another childless biglaw type responding so keep that in mind – how much vacation do you have accumulated at your current position? You should be able to cash that out when you leave your firm. If the new job is willing to let you take the equivalent amount of time unpaid as the amount of vacation days you cash out – you can sock that away and budget it for your maternity leave.

      1. This. I’d definitely cash out and bank your vacation days — save the money you get from that for maternity leave. I’d also be totally upfront about the pregnancy and tell them you’re walking away from a sweet maternity leave, and so could they start you out with an extra month’s vacation (or promise a month’s maternity leave @ full pay, 3/4 pay, whatever).

        My two cents: I’m not an attorney, but I am a mom. Going back is hard, even if you want to go back full time and have no dreams of staying at home. You have to go back to a job you really, really like (or love) in order to make it humanly possible.

        1. Unfortunately my law firm doesn’t give attorneys vacation days – we are professionals and are instructed to take vacation as we see fit, so long as work is completed, hours are made, etc. This way no one takes vacation and they can get out of having to pay people when they (frequently) leave because they’re burned out from not taking any vacation.

          Yet another reason why I hate my (current) job and am dying to get out of a firm and into an in-house position.

    7. As to the maternal guilt, which I can totally relate to (I was a general surgical resident when I delivered, had 6 weeks off and went back to 80 hours a week). The way I rationalized it? A child needs a happy parent who can give them the emotional support and nuturing they deserve. Being miserable in your job will have an impact on your ability to parent that lasts longer than the maternity leave. I strugged with this for a long time — but with my own child I realized some key facts. First, as long as your newborn is getting nuturing from someone (husband, grandparent, nanny, etc) they will be fine. You are so important to your child, but sometimes we build this myth that is not always accurate. Secondly, there are lots of ways to feel close to your child even if your time with them is short (for me, pumping and maintaining my breast feeding relationship was pretty key, but for others it’s something else). Lastly, while you have significant short term conflicts, in the long term it sounds like this is the right move for you. You’ve looked for 2 years for this job. Are you willing to wait another 2 for the next opportunity to come along?

      It’s a tough spot, but those are my thoughts.

      1. Check on short term disability policies.

        Also, is this your first kid? If so, are you sure you *can* go back at 4 weeks? I’m about as hard core as they come, and it wasn’t even a possibility with me — 6 weeks is the usual minimum.

        1. I agree with this – I consider myself to be pretty tough, and I was barely beginning to feel human again four weeks after having my first. I was in good shape going into labor and had no reason to think there would be an issue, but I had a difficult delivery with hours of pushing and an ultimate c-section. Recovery was tough. Just keep in mind that you don’t know the cards you’re going to be dealt.

        2. It is my first child and I’m not sure of anything, only that we’re not in a financial position for me to take a lot of unpaid time off of work if I accept this position and the associated decrease in pay. So it’s not really a matter of me being tough/hard core and wanting to go back to work, as much as it being a financial necessity.

    8. Motherhood is long; maternity leave (even a great biglaw one) is short. When your child is three years old (never mind thirteen), the first few months will be a total blur in your mind — and your child will remember nothing of it. I have kids and firmly believe that bonding is not a magical event; it’s a lifetime relationship. So I think you should make the decision that seems like the best one in the long term, and that sounds like the in-house job. Do the in-house people seem reasonable about work-life balance issues? Do they seem very excited about having you join them? If either is true, I’d do what other posters have suggested, and come clean about the pregnancy and see if you can negotiate extra leave; unpaid if necessary. You said you couldn’t afford additional unpaid leave, and I respect your assessment of your finances — but even if you had to be extraordinarily thrifty for a while, or ask expectant grandparents to contribute cash instead of a crib or baby clothes (it is amazing how little babies really need, despite a massive baby-goods industry that will tell you otherwise), a couple of extra weeks could be important to your well-being.

  8. I carry a diaper bag to court every day with my files in it. No one knows. Tee hee. :)

  9. Threadjack – I have a sad question for you all. I think I am going to have to break up with my boyfriend fairly soon, for reasons that don’t matter here. We live together, and I am pretty sure that the breakup is going to be very devastating for me emotionally. It’s also going to be a time-consuming logistical burden, with moving and finding a new place.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a hard breakup while still doing a good job at work? The good news is that I absolutely love my job and I love being here. But one reason that it’s taken me so long to do this is the fear of not being able to focus on my work, crying in my office, being tired and bleary eyed, and just generally doing a bad job. Plus, everyone in my office is married with children, and they’ve all met my boyfriend, so that is going to be awkward as well.

    Any advice on dealing with this? I am dreading going through it. =(

    1. I’m sorry, that’s very rough. Please keep in mind that people tend to be incredibly understanding — or at least tend to feel compelled to act as if they are.

      To make it easier, I would try to work out as much as you can ahead of having “the talk.” E.g., you live together — who’s moving out? If it’s you, is there a friend/relative you can stay with while you look for a new place? Do you have any vacation time that you can use to maybe make this transition easier? Take off a week and just get everything done — move, break up, etc.?

      I would maybe even go as far as finding a new place (IF you are 100% serious) before having the break up conversation with you BF. Also, if it’s likely to be messy, maybe take some of your most precious items with you ahead of time. I know it sounds awful to think this way, but there’s no reason you can take you favorite photo album & grandma’s pearls to work with you in a tote & just leave them there, or something along those lines. My advice is to just basically think through the logistics ahead of time & try to take care of as much as you can in advance.

      As for how to deal with actual work, I think it’s great that you like your job. Times like these, a job you can focus on can be a lifesaver. But it sounds like you know this will be emotional, so give your self a chance to cry & get away. I went through a rough spell at work when someone I worked with died, and I basically went to the bathroom a lot to compose myself when I needed to, and also went on walks to get coffee a lot. The office door (it helps to have one) was usually closed. It helps to have something to focus on. It may sound silly, but sometimes I would just close my eyes and imagine that I was painting a fence a really bright color. Something mechanical like that would help me calm down when I needed it. Maybe you can have a similar mental something?

      At any rate, be gentle and forgiving with yourself. Odds are you will be judging yourself much more than your married colleagues ever could. Good luck.

      1. I went through a similar situation about a year ago. AIMS has great advice. In my situation we broke up over coffee on a Sunday morning. It had been a long time coming, and we weren’t fighting at the time, but it was still time for the relationship to end. And it was devastating, for a while. He moved out within a week (it was my place to begin with). The two best things I did immediately were: 1) paint the bedroom walls a bright, cheery color that made me happy, and 2) hired my cleaning lady for an extra day to help me finish cleaning out what he had left behind — which was a lot, since he worked from home. Doing those two things gave me breathing room, in a way, so that I wasn’t stressed about the mess in my apartment, and I could focus on the whole post-breakup process — grieving, getting mad, getting sad, getting happy, getting used to living alone again, etc., whatever the crazy gamut of emotions you feel when a big relationship ends. I had also just taken up a new hobby that kept me busy, and that helped a lot.

        The best advice is what AIMS said: to truly be kind to yourself and take care of yourself, whatever that looks like to you. You’re doing the right thing. Best of luck.

    2. I’m so sorry. But if you are at peace with your decision, as it sounds like you are, then maybe it will not be as awful as you fear. And if you’re not at peace, is there anything you can do now, before The Talk, to get there?

    3. I am in an incredibly similar situation – have been together for ages, living together for four years, act like we’re married. We get along wonderfully and have created such a nice life together but he “doesn’t believe in” marriage and is 100% against having children, among other bigger picture issues – pretty much incompatible with my long term goals.

      I care about him very deeply and honestly, I’m pretty introverted and he’s kind of become my entire world. I love his family (on par with my own and I have an especially close relationship with his mom), they love me and have been extremely generous over the years. All my coworkers know and adore him. We have multiple vacations over the next year already ticketed. Basically, I know we need to break up but it feels almost impossible.

      No advice, unfortunately, but lots and lots of empathy. *Hugs*

    4. My last really difficult breakup was a number of years ago and I actually used work as a bit of solace. I loaded up my cases and kept myself really busy. The complicating factor for me was that my boss was the person who introduced us as he was a former employee (we never worked together but literally every single person I worked with knew and loved him). The only person I confided in or talked about the breakup with was the person who started there after me and never knew him because she wasn’t emotionally involved. I let her be the one to inform others of the breakup and she kindly told people I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew people talked about it and probably gossiped about the whys and who was to blame, etc. but it helped me to stay very busy and cry in my car on my drive home. Good luck.

    5. Get some exercise–the more the better! It will help you work out your stress and boost your endorphins. Exercise won’t solve your problems, obviously, but I think it’s a great way to get yourself back on track.

      1. Thank you all for your comments and kind words. This is all really helpful. Corporettes really are the best. =)

    6. Late response, sorry.

      As many folks on this board know, I went through an (unexpected and unwanted) divorce very recently. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this strategy – you have to know yourself and your office – but I didn’t take a day off of work. I went to work the morning after he walked out and every day after that. For me, work was an escape; it kept my life structured; and it gave me something – anything – other than my personal life to think about.

      What I did do, however, was spend two weeks working remotely at my parents’ house. I have no family in the city where I now live – I’m 2500 miles from my closest relative – and I needed to be with them. If you don’t have support nearby and this is an option, it could help you keep your work life together but also give you time and space.

      The other thing was that I was upfront and honest immediately with the partners I work for and with other relevant folks. It was critical that they understand that I was off my game because I was going through a personal crisis (not because I’d discovered my inner slacker). To a person, my colleagues have been wonderful. It also really helps when you need to take off of work to handle logistical matters, so that you don’t have to lie about what you’re doing.

      Finally, let people help you. They want to. You’ll be surprised who will step up and how.

      Good luck – it’s very hard to deal with something like this in the office, but you’ll come through it.

  10. Just pulled the trigger on this. I’ve been looking for a good black work bag for quite some time now, and have also been lemming after a Rebecca Minkoff bag, so two birds with one stone! And at a discount!

  11. Threadjack: any recommendations for organic or natural hair products, especially those for thin and straight hair? Thanks!

    1. I really like the Organic Excellence shampoo and conditioner. They’re very pricey, but of all of the organic/natural hair products (which is more than I like to think about) I’ve tried they are definitely the best. http://www.organicexcellence.com/

      1. I should add, I was really turned off by the wild mint scent at first, but I got used to it really quickly and now I kind of like it.

    2. 1. MOP
      2. Ojon
      3. Morrocan Oil (No idea if this is organic or natural, but it’s my favorite)

    3. I have fine, straight, thin hair and I’m liking Burt’s Bees Pomegranate “very volumizing” – it’s $8 a bottle at the Rack. I think it’s like 97% natural, and SLS free.

    4. Get thee to a Lush store! I worked there during college, so I’ve clearly drunk the all-natural Kool-Aid, but all of their products are handmade from fresh, organic, ethically sourced ingredients.

      Thin, straight hair might especially benefit from some Big shampoo (with sea salt for volume [yes, really] and lemon juice for shine), Seanik solid shampoo (with more sea salt and lemon, along with some seaweed, which is super moisturizing), and Veganese conditioner (a non-overpowering, lemony vegan conditioner). Granted, Lush is pricier than what you’d find at your local drugstore, but you really are paying for the ingredients and the hand labor, not packaging or advertising, and I have always liked that.

      1. I love most Lush products, but not their haircare.

        Their shampoos AND conditioners all contain SLS, which is in my opinion contrary to their “all natural” branding.

        SLS isn’t a concern for everyone, but if it is for you then I’d avoid Lush.

  12. Threadjack: what is the proper structure of an attorney resume? Education, Admissions and then Experience. Education Experience and then Admissions? Admissions first?

    Also, after undergrad I worked a few years in a social service agency which is currently still on my resume — it was 9 years ago. Should I bite the bullet and take it off?

    1. It really depends on what your resume’s like. If you were summa cum laude at Harvard you might want to put education first, but normally it should go after experience. If you really want to emphasize where you’re admitted you could put it first, but generally I’d put it after experience. Generally education is the least important of the three, so it would go last.

    2. I would keep it on – even if it isn’t relevant to what you do now, it seems like something interesting that could make your resume stand out. Thats why two years into law school, after another career, I still keep my quirky undergrad jobs on – and get asked about them, in the “you did WHAT??? :)” way.

      1. This.

        I still have the topic of my undergrad thesis on ONLY because it gives interviewers something to talk to me about in interviews OTHER than…why do you want to be a lawyer, or whatever.

        I think where education goes depends on how far out of school you are. If its a couple of years, i’d probably do:

        Legal Experience
        Other Experience (if you want to keep the social service job)
        Education
        Admissions (I mean, this is useful information, but its not all that sexy. Definitely wouldn’t put it up front.)

      2. Ditto — admissions aren’t a huge issue in my experience, so they go last.

        Social services agency — I would keep it if it’s at all relevant to what you’re now doing, and/or if there’s space. If your resume is already pretty full, then this is a place to cut.

        I’m in a niche (regulatory) legal practice area, so my top thing is my experience, since that’s what I’m selling, that’s what I want people to see first.

    3. I just put my bar number up at the top of my resume with the other contact information instead of listing it separately.

      I finished law school in my 30s, so I had quite a few jobs on my resume before law school. I find that leaving any out after my college graduation prompts interviewers to ask why I have gaps. For those that don’t seem relevant, I usually just list a job title. If they are relevant to the job in question, I keep the description in as well.

        1. An “Admissions” section indicates the states (and federal courts) to which you’ve been admitted to practice. So your state bar(s) and also “Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals” or “United States Tax Court,” etc.

  13. Super cute… and definitely would be useful… if anyone is looking to buy an extravagant baby shower gift for a perfect stranger/fellow Corporette, this would be an excellent choice! ;)

  14. Not the title I wanted to see right now. Googled pregnancy symptoms in the last five mins. Came to Corporette to stop being paranoid… Awkward.

    1. Googling is no substitute for POAS. Get thee to a drugstore and then a bathroom. You’re only going to stress yourself out more, the longer you wait.

    2. Exactly. There are NO symptoms that are 100% guarantee (other than no period for 9 mos + labor ;-)). Anything you come up with, may well be PMS or pregnancy or something else. Sore breasts, nausea, cramps, bloating, craving, etc can be anything. Testing is generally most effective at least 12 days after ovulation; if you don’t know when you ovulated, then assume no earlier than 26 days after last period. I’ve tested early, gotten negatives, then gotten positives a few days later.

      Hang in there, it sounds like you’re stressed about this. :-(

  15. ugh.

    I am child-free and loving it (and likely NOT to have kids, ever). I just reject carrying a diaper bag on principle alone. Sorry.

    I think that professional women should DESERVE to have someone make an acceptable briefcase/tote for us to use, that’s big enough for court/files, etc. I will patronize those designers who DO, as opposed to reward the ones that only make big enough bags for “Mommy” duty. I may be throwing down my feminist card here (and for somewhat of a trivial issue, honestly), and in the minority.

    1. Totally agree. I find it really annoying that there are so many “diaper” bags out there and so few professional totes/laptop bags for women. I am seriously on the verge of buying a men’s laptop bag because I haven’t been able to find a women’s one that I like.

  16. I just wanted to say that I ordered this bag and am in love with it! My daily-use purse is the MAB mini, so I knew what to expect – and I was still impressed. The bag is big enough to hold my computer and files/ notes and actually zipper closed! I have been looking for a work bag for literally years and have bought a bunch and not been satisfied. Thank you for the suggestion!

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