Coffee Break: MoroccanOil Color Depositing Mask Temporary Color Deep Conditioning Treatment

87 Comments

1. I don’t think this kind of treatment would have any effect on grays. I notice that gray is not an option as a “starting color” on the item listing to predict result.

2. I have tried the featured Moroccan Oil mask. It sounds like a great idea, but the reality is disappointing. The only places it deposited color was on my scalp and under my fingernails. Fortunately, I had not purchased the full size, just a trial packet. Hard pass.

   1. I used the “rose gold” color on my daughter’s dark blond hair (just as a fun thing to do during the pandemic) and it didn’t do squat. My neighbor’s girls have white-blond hair and it worked OK on them, though. Bottom line, I would not expect amazing results and I haaaated the smell, which stuck around for several days.

3. Can you ask people (W-2 employees) if they plan to return from maternity leave (or alternately, retire)? I have been it is NBD to have this discussion but I sense that this is not right (or that it will be my name in Above the Law if things go sideways).

   1. Sure you can but it’s a stupid move

      1. Not the OP. Can you explain rather than just saying it’s stupid?

         1. Nope because I’m not in the business of giving free legal advice on the internet.

   2. Assuming the person has not otherwise indicated they are contemplating that exact either/or scenario and are seeking your counsel, I have no idea why you would have this conversation or think it is ok. Do not project either to the woman who gave birth or to others internally that having a child and being on maternity leave could result in leaving a job. Enough men assume pregnancy/leave = done with one’s career. Don’t perpetuate that dialogue. It is not helpful for the rest of us who announce pregnancy and then are given softball assignments or no transition-back-in plan because others assume you’re just going to quit. Sheesh.

   3. Are you going to fire them immediately if they aren’t savvy enough to say yes? If not, what’s your motivation?

   4. It depends why you’re asking. From the employer’s perspective, there’s not a big difference between an employee finding another job vs quitting to be a SAHP vs retiring. Employing people comes with some element of uncertainty, you don’t get to interrogate your employees about their plans for the future. If you want more than two weeks notice then you should contract for it.

   5. I wouldn’t. I’m not a lawyer but I think you open yourself up to some liability here. Besides, I doubt you’d get an honest answer anyway. If I were about to go on mat leave and my boss asked me this, my answer would be “oh absolutely, I can’t wait to come back!” even if that was not at all true.

   6. I mean… what is the goal of this question? Our company offers generous maternity (and paternity) leave, so at some point, we do have a conversation about when the employee plans to come back to work. If they plan to take the full leave continuously, we often hire a contractor to backfill their duties, so we need an end date for the role. We tend to allow a month or two of overlap on either side of the leave so that the transition to and from the contractor is smooth and thorough. If the point of the question is to ultimately fire them or lay them off, that’s illegal. If it’s for planning purposes to make sure that you have adequate coverage, I would frame it as “when” are you coming back, not “if” you are coming back. But really, the motivation matters. In our case, it’s well known that you can and should take your parental leave and that it will not affect your performance review, compensation, or opportunities. Thus, the temporary backfill or coverage planning is not seen as pushing someone out or trying to demote them, it’s seen as a practical measure to allow everyone involved to achieve their goals.

   7. This is a bad idea; it sounds like your company is trying to reduce headcount and using discriminatory employment practices to do so (age discrimination and pregnancy discrimination). If you are not and just want the information for planning purposes, that is a tough situation. However, the solution is not to give the appearance of engaging in discrimination.

      My suggestion is that you ALWAYS treat a woman on maternity leave like she is going to come back. Discuss things like how her work will be transitioned to her when she arrives back: it takes time to ramp back up after a long leave, cases will settle, deals will get done, etc. Talk to her about her leave options after she returns if she or her baby has ongoing medical issues.

   8. What would you gain from asking? If they were planning to leave and willing to tell you, they would just tell you. In any other situation you’re just creating pressure and the appearance of discrimination.

   9. I think you can. That way if they say they will and they don’t you can decide if you want to keep them or not.

4. I’m trying to think of good, actionable fitness goals to strive for next year that don’t involve races — what would you put on your list? I’m thinking like miles hiked, hold a plank for 2 minutes… not sure what else.

   (related Q) – I have an apple watch but don’t really use it to track steps because i don’t like the app interface. does anyone know of anything better to use? thanks!

   1. Increase in dumbbell weights? For me, it’d be something like going from 10 lb to 15 lb weights.
      hikes – make a list of hiking trails you want to do and cross them off as you complete each one

   2. If you have Strava, they have “segments” for certain roads or trails and they keep a leaderboard of times for those segments that can be narrowed down by age and gender. Your goal could be to move up a spot on the leaderboard or to improve your time for a certain segment. Strava also tracks total miles run/biked/walked for the year along with time spent running/biking if you want to use that as a goal instead.

   3. Pushup commitment! 50 pushups a day (maybe even more?). Easier to do than you think. 25 in the morning and 25 in the evening. I was doing 100 a day (25 first thing in the morning, 25 after morning coffee, 25 when I got home from work, and 25 before going to bed) up to the election thinking I’d stop when Biden was elected. Then I got too lazy and stressed to keep it up after November 3.

   4. I’m working on this too – so far my main goal is to be able to do 10 consecutive pull-ups.

5. Say you’re able to get a vaccine by next June or next Sept or whenever — what’s the first trip you’re taking? Where do you live and where will you go realistically?

   I’ve been incredibly patient with being home in an apartment for the last 8 months etc. but I’m now starting to REALLY missing airports and hotels as I was someone who traveled regularly for work and took small trips myself — just enjoyed 2 day changes of scenery.

   I live in DC. I feel like my first trip would be short and to somewhere that has taken this seriously the whole time because I feel like people in those places are more likely to take a vaccine, still be wearing masks if that’s what recommended until cases go down to a certain point etc. All I can really come up with though is a summer trip to Montreal/QC or a fall trip in New England (which I understand I could’ve done now but I have been on a don’t travel if you don’t need to school of thought).

   1. We got liquored up a month or so ago and booked a bike trip in Croatia for next September, figuring it was 50-50 whether it would happen. Felling better about the odds today!

      We have already done a couple of weekend trips to a condo we own at a ski area with low cases and to a rental house in the middle of nowhere.

      1. I already have money down in Croatia next August (rolled over from this summer’s cancellation) so hopefully that happens!

      2. lol that’s how my husband and I ended up with a trip to Iceland a few years ago. Totally awesome impulse drinking buy though.

         1. Heh did I mention that other time recently when we were watching the local Symphony’s virtual fundraiser and I said “let’s just put the minimum bid on the Iceland trip to help them get things started.”

            So I guess we’re stopping in Iceland on the way to Croatia…

   2. Also if you feel this cooped up go away this weekend. Plenty of places within a few hours of DC where you can just enjoy being outside with space.

   3. My first trip would be to someplace that is a relatively short flight and where I can do a lot of outdoorsy stuff — since I am in Chicago, I am leaning toward Costa Rica or Nicaragua. Other options would be Jackson Hole and Banff. The fact that I have not been on a plane in 8 months is just wild to me, but I don’t know if I will be signing up for a 15 hour flight right out the gate.

   4. Gonna drive a state over and squish my nephew. And hug my parents.
      Although I found out today I have covid antibodies, so I might get to do that sooner rather than later.

   5. Just an FYI unless the US dramatically improves Canada likely won’t be opening it’s boarders any time soon. Canadians are keen on protecting their citizens and healthcare system.

      1. Please. Now that there’s a new president in the waiting, once he’s in and there’s some actual progress made, borders are opening to Canada and everywhere else. Plus OP says AFTER a vaccine. Is Canada going to keep its borders closed after a vaccine too?

         1. Unless we behave (by which I mean widespread acceptance of the vaccine, and continued masking / distancing / avoiding large gatherings), if I were Canada I wouldn’t let us in either. As a country, we clearly present as stupid to the world stage at large.

            1. You’re not Canada.

            2. You are correct in your analysis.

            3. Obviously you personally keep your pods separate instead of having a combined thanksgiving then.

   6. Hockey (if it is having playoffs then) — and lots of beer and indiscriminately hugging strangers. Hockey is the last arena event I went to before lockdown and I really miss it — it is very cathartic to go to a game and just yell.

      Then I’d go to a concert. Also lots of beer.

   7. Mine would also be Quebec! (Although further downriver than QC)

   8. To Dublin, to see a couple of my best friends who live there (and scope it out as a potential next step – after my wobble a couple of months ago I’m at the stage where I’m just trying to be open-minded about where I might want to be next). I’m in Scotland, so it’s not very far – and this may not be something I have to wait for me getting a vaccine for, in fairness.

      I’d also like to take the trip I had planned to the Austrian mountains by train – but that’s very much a summer trip (for the kind of trip I had planned) and I don’t expect to be confident enough to rebook it in time for next June/July (there are a lot of moving pieces and hotel reservations involved) so that will probably be 2022. Before that in Jan 2022 is a ski trip I had originally booked for this coming January and pushed out a year.

      (If I hadn’t done it already, it would be getting on a train down to London to see my parents)

      1. Oh and in terms of really big trips/ not just rebooked from 2020 – I’d love to visit the US. I haven’t been since 2011 and haven’t wanted to go since 2016 (sorry) but it feels like a place I want to go again. I have applied for a place on a US-based leg of the eXXpedition research trip so if I get that I want to tag on a trip to explore Boston and Cape Cod a bit.

   9. go see my parents.

   10. First trip will likely be to see in-laws. But they’re in a country with thousands of cases so ….
       Parents are with us, luckily so no need to visit them.

       And then, skiing in Europe!

6. I’ve changed my hair coloring from salon fine highlights and lowlights to mask the gray (more variation of color makes grays stand out less) to a single process color from Madison Reed. I am not sure I will ever go back to the salon. It’s not as easy – for me – or as pampering as the salon highlights, but it saves me about $100 each time so an enormous difference on the budget.

   I liked MR’s online color tool. It gave me a really good match. I don’t know anything about other brands of hair color, like the drugstore ones, and whether MR is really different, but for me, the ability to figure this out online was key.

   1. It seems like their method would avoid what I’ve hated seeing on darker-haired women — flat, overly dark ends that look like the worst dye job ever. But b/c of that, I vowed early to just go gray naturally since I just have a streak (so no need for color on 90% of my still-brown hair and like that part of my hair looking natural, with highlights and summer sun bleaching creating its own look). I think if you dye, alternating b/w permanent at the roots and semi-permanent on the rest makes a lot of sense, especially if you have brown shades. IDK if it matters as much for blonde hair.

      1. My stylist (and one before) always warned about never using temp color on hair that’s has permanent dye and to stick with permanent if I was going rogue and alternating occasionally at home. (I traveled a lot in before times and didn’t always want to wait for an appointment.)

      2. I mean, I generally agree you shouldn’t go darker as you age, but I’m actually impressed at how healthy my hair looks after using MR. It doesn’t look flat or one dimensional at all.

         On the other hand, while I loved my fine highlights, they did to look kind of brassy as time went on between appointments.

   2. Interesting. I’ve been really curious about this. I have a gray streak down the middle of my head. I’ve been using a root kit to take care of that and letting the few gray hairs in other parts just be. It’s worked out ok since I see few people up close.

7. I would love a review on this AFTER you try it!
   I use arctic fox to brighten my colour between salon visits… and salon visits have been very very infrequent (one since February ). Unfortunately it doesn’t help the roots.

8. The MoroccanOil description says it doesn’t work on greys. What’s the point?

   1. Yeah, if anything other than permanent dye worked to cover grays, then we wouldn’t see so many older women with fried, totally monochrome hair from dyeing it over and over. I’m convinced that you either have to go natural, or spend lots of time and money. There’s no low-key way to avoid gray hair.

      1. I think the fried look is also an effect of the permanent dyes.

      2. I started going grey when I was 20; now, in my late 30s, my hair is substantially silver. Henna works remarkably well, especially on the grey.

         1. Agreed, I love the effect henna has on my hair, both in terms of covering greys and conditioning.

9. What are your favorite meals to eat down a surplus of frozen veggies? TIA!

   1. Meat + veggies + stew herbs and spices.
      Veggie Asian stir fry
      If something like squash or zucchini, make it into a semi-sweet bread

   2. What kind of veggies? In general, some kind of casserole or baked dish with sauce and cheese (e.g. enchiladas or lasagna) where you can throw in whatever you have and add some spice and flavor. I don’t love frozen veggies in general, but do always have frozen peas, corn, and spinach on hand and use them in things like this.

   3. There’s a recipe in the NY Times for Baked Quinoa with Spinach and Cheese that I always make with frozen spinach and sometimes add frozen corn. I follow the recipe fairly loosely (use mozzarella instead of Gruyère, change amounts to use the whole bag of quinoa, etc.) and it always comes out pretty well.

   4. We use them as sides for just about every lunch or dinner. Just microwaved plain with salt and pepper. Not exciting but it works.

   5. Stir them into your boxed mac n cheese and add a big spoonful of harissa or chili oil. Yum.

   6. Veggie soup – I ended up doing this the other week where it was one or two purchases to round it out, but literally was throwing in whatever frozen veggies I had in my fridge and letting it simmer for half an hour.

   7. Ah I can answer this one!

      Vegetable soup:

      Sauté some diced onion and celery in some olive oil, butter, or a combination. Add garlic at the end. Then add about 2 cups stock and 1 c tomato purée. Add a bag of frozen mixed veggies, taste for salt and pepper, and cook until the toughest veggies are tender (usually the green beans). I also like to add a drained can of beans, like black beans. This would also be good with diced potatoes, shredded cabbage, or small cooked pasta.

      If I have herbs dying in my crisper, I add those and usually fish them out at the end. It’s also a good use for a bay leaf.

      This is super, super good for those days when you feel like you’ve been eating too much junk (like Halloween Candy followed by election stress eating and drinking) and you want to kind of eat something closer to the earth.

      If you’re not into the virtuous thing, it’s also excellent with a grilled cheese sandwich!!

   8. Delicious soup: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/chicken-pot-pie-soup-recipe/ Already calls for frozen corn and peas. I have thrown frozen mixed veggies in that I wanted to get rid of, so really, any type could be added.

   9. Minimalist Baker’s Vegan pot pie.
      Two Sleevers Paneer biryani

10. We have a small business (5 employees) with a pregnant employee who has verbally told us she doesn’t plan to return after December. The employee is not a good employee, has a bad attitude when asked to do anything, and a bad influence on the others – she’s even told another employee that she cannot be fired even though she is an employee at will. She keeps taking days/times off without consulting with us (no notice or message at all) and leaving us to scramble when we are short-staffed. We just want to be done with her. We’ve consulted the employee laws in our state and it’s clear that we are not subject to any pregnancy discrimination laws because of our size. Just wanted to see if any HR or employment attorneys here can give us any tips on things we can do or not do to avoid getting into legal trouble and how to gently tell her we want to terminate her employment. We are all working moms/dads in the office so it really is not because of the pregnancy but because she is a terrible employee.

    1. you need to stop talking about this on the internet and call an attorney.

       1. Yeah this is really dependent on your jurisdiction and the specific facts of your case. Better to spend a few bucks on legal fees up front than big bucks on the back end.

    2. Sorry, but this is not a situation where you need to be soliciting free advice from strangers. This is a nuanced issue where you can fall into error very easily if the people giving you advice don’t have the complete picture (and they can’t, because you should not post details of the situation here). Hire an HR consultant with experience in your local area, or an employment lawyer, and walk through the issue with them. Signed, a former HR consultant to small businesses.

    3. First and foremost, consult with an employment attorney in your own state. These questions are difficult to answer in a vacuum without knowing several relevant facts. With that caveat, generally, I would say that if she has already told you she does not plan to return after December, that is less than a month from today. Letting her leave on her own terms is the best way to insulate yourself from liability, particularly if you believe she is intending to do that in relatively short order. What real benefit is there in terminating her employment in the next month? You will have to pay her unemployment and if she is already making sounds about pregnancy discrimination, it will be more expensive to defend a suit she brings (even if you ultimately end up winning) than it would be to keep her around for the short period before she leaves willingly.

       1. If OP is talking about firing her when she’s already told them she’s leaving, they’re probably trying to avoid paying disability or unemployment

    4. Hire a lawyer. I’m one, and I can tell you that if you don’t you could be creating an expensive legal issue unnecessarily.

    5. I mean, she just doesn’t show up for work? Sounds like that’s job abandonment and you accept the resignation she tenders by not showing up. However, you let her get away with this so many times … better get a lawyer or just get her resignation for December in writing and move on then.

    6. Hire a lawyer.

       Consult your own company handbooks. If you do not have an employee handbook, you should make one after this problem employee is dealt with. Follow your own established procedures.

    7. And also have staff meetings and go over what could be construed as very basic items so that people are aware of how you operate. I mean, the definition of “at will” could be delineated. Do you have an employee handbook?

11. Today was our first pandemic snow day.

    Anyone else find it odd that schools are closing for snow days? I mean they are all set up now to teach remotely.

    I wouldn’t care but I have to work (daycare and school both shut down) and it would be nice if school ran for my kids for even an hour or two.

    1. Nah I vote let them keep snow days. Everything is terrible. Kids get snow days.

       1. Absolutely. I know school districts have deliberately made the decision to keep snow days for that reason.

    2. Snow days are one of the joys of childhood and I am so glad to hear schools aren’t robbing them of that amid everything else that has been lost during this awful year.

    3. Are the teachers teaching remotely? Teachers and school staff shouldn’t be put in harm’s way just because they can teach remotely to students, but aren’t set up to teach remotely from their homes.

       1. +1 many teachers are teaching from an empty classroom, not their own homes

    4. Yes, I think it’s idd. TBD if we’ll have that here. We are 100 percent remote. Give my kids a snow day (with me still working always, of course) and my head may explode. I mean, I get magical childhood thing and all that, but it’s a year and they won’t be damaged by not having it one season and I’m just over all of it.

    5. Many parents have pandemic pods or hired help for their kids. Allowing the snow day enables parents to have a lot more flexibility if their nanny is not able to come in due to the weather, or if they do not want to cart their kids all over town so their kids can get work done while the parents WFH.

    6. We haven’t had a snow day yet but in our district, the teachers still have to go into the building to teach the virtual class. I’d imagine they’ll still need to call snow days if the teachers can’t get to the building, even if technically they could teach from home, since their materials and supplies will likely still be at school.

    7. No snow days here, but we’ve had 7 hurricane days this year. Apparently, many teachers live outside the levee protection zone (where, no surprise, housing is cheaper), and those folks have to evacuate early even when those inside the levee protection zone are advised to shelter in place. And of course, there’s no telling who will have power and access to internet if a storm actually hits. I’m thankful to have been spared from any major storm damage this year, but it has been a long hurricane season, and it’s not even over. My kid is back in school in person, but the school is set up for remote learning in case of pandemic shutdowns.

    8. Ours are not having snow days. Kids have to log on like usual.

12. I just finished two tasks that I’ve been super stressed about and avoiding–one for months, and one for weeks. In both cases, the dread was worse than the actual thing. So yay for me!

    1. Such a good feeling!

    2. Go you! That’s awesome!

    3. Yay! This is why I like that saying “eat the frog.” Just do the thing you don’t want to do first so you get it over with!

13. Looking at jobs in Facebook Legal. Anyone have any experiences or thoughts about their legal/privacy department?

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