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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 95 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Pendulum 14-karat Gold-Plated Necklace

Coffee Break

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I think this is a gorgeous, sculptural, interesting but delicate necklace — and those are things that are very difficult to find all at once. I do think the length is going to be tough if you're on the bustier side like I am, but if that doesn't apply to you or you don't care about where the necklace hits you, then this may be perfect — it's really lovely. It's from the Australian brand Natasha Schweitzer and is available at Net-a-Porter for $445. Natasha Schweitzer Pendulum 14-karat Gold-Plated Necklace A few more affordable necklaces are at Last Call, Saks OFF 5th, and Lord & Taylor. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Is it rude to attend a viewing & funeral service and not stay for the (off-site) burial & reception? My cousin’s spouse’s parent passed away and the funeral is being held within a 2 hour drive from me. I’m not very close to cousin or spouse or their family but I’d like to show my support. I have a car and don’t mind making the trip by myself, but I have commitments the afternoon of the funeral that would be very difficult to move. Is it ok to leave after the service is over or should I not go if I can’t stay for the whole thing?

    • Never too many shoes...

      I think it is absolutely fine to go to see your cousin and show your support at the viewing and service.

      So, so much better than not going at all. Your cousin and her spouse will appreciate your effort to be there even for part of the day.

    • Anonymous

      No it’s not rude, it’s very normal (especially given level of your relationship)

      • Ellen

        I agree. When Grandpa Harry died, there were alot of peeople at his service, but only the family drove out to the burial service, which was out on LI at a Government Cemetery. Harry was a Captain in the Marine’s and he was one tough dude. Dad is a junior version of Harry, but Dad says he is tougher b/c he was in the Cold War behind the iron curtain. YAY!

    • Anon

      Definitely go for the service. I’m recently bereaved of a parent and it meant a lot to me to have a packed house at the memorial service.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      Yes, go! It’s pretty normal to go to the service and not the burial (which is sometimes family-only anyway).

    • Linda from HR

      I don’t think it would be rude. If you only showed for the reception, that might warrant a side-eye, but as long as you’re present for the service and express condolences to the family while you’re there (since you won’t be doing it at the reception) I think it’s fine.

    • LaurenB

      Not at all. I think it’s common practice, frankly – go to the viewing to offer your condolences and pay your respects but unless you’re particularly close, don’t attend the burial itself.

  2. voting absentee

    I voted absentee in 2016 because I went to college out of state. I got a job in the same state as my college after graduating, so I have stayed here, but never got around to updating my voter registration/driver’s license/passport/etc. I want to vote in the 2018 midterms – do I need to register in this state or is it legal for me to vote absentee in the state from which I have those IDs? I might move to another state next year, so I’d like to avoid the license/passport change hassle if possible.

    • Anonymous

      Check your state’s rules, but I think in most states you’re supposed to get a new driver’s license, etc. (and if you have a car, pay the transfer tax) within 30 days of moving to the state. If you get pulled over, the cop can give you a ticket for having the wrong license.

      That said… I’m sure people do exactly what you’re proposing to do all the time. Heck the state I grew up in (and haven’t lived in for nearly 20 years…) still sends me my polling information.

      • voting absentee

        I don’t have a car here (live in a city and use public transportation system) and basically only use my license as ID when I fly or am in the sort of situation where I need to show a photo ID. If it’s not legal to vote absentee the way I’m proposing, I don’t want to break the law, so I won’t do it. I just couldn’t figure out if it was allowed or not when I checked online.

    • Anon

      If you do not plan to remain in your current state indefinitely, you can keep your residency in your old state for voting purposes.

    • Anonymous

      You should register for your new state. States have different levels of what you need to show ID-wise to be able to register; you could be fine with for example, a passport and a lease, and not need to update your license.

    • Anonymous

      You don’t need to update a passport when you move, but you need to update the rest. In most states you could be charged with a misdemeanor for not updating your license and if you vote you could also be breaking the law depending on your state. It’s so easy to change it, why not do it?

      • Anonymous

        I snickered at your last sentence. Up until then I was with you. But no it’s a huge PITA and can be quite expensive to change your DL, car registration, etc. Anything that involves the DMV is a nightmare, let’s not pretend otherwise.

          • Anonymous

            Can you (legally) update your voter registration but not your DL? Not trying to be snarky – idk the answer. I think in most states when you update your DL you can check a box to automatically update your voter registration, fwiw.

          • Lana Del Raygun

            @ Anonymous at 2:57 Yes, you can; depending on the state you may need *some* kind of local ID and/or proof of residency to register and/or to vote, though, so check your local law.

          • Anonymous

            State residency rules depend on the state, but usually are determined by things other than your DL, though a DL can be evidence that you are a resident of the issuing state. But factors like how many consecutive days you have lived there and state rules about when you need to update the address on your license (usually 30-60 days after moving).

            I mean, you’ll need to know this residency stuff for state income taxes (assuming either this state or home state has income taxes).

    • anon

      Showing my age but I remember a friend of mine, raised in Albany, complaining during Hilary Clinton’s first Senate run that she was a carpetbagger and was only running in NY because she could win. My friend couldn’t wait to vote against her, from her home in another state where she’d lived for 8 years.

      • voting absentee

        Wow – that’s a story. I know it’s done, but I don’t want to do it if it’s illegal. From the posts above though, it seems like I”ll have to to the DMV and get a new license, so I might as well register now here and then change everything again when I move next year.

    • Anonymous

      If you’re no longer a student, you need to register in your new state and get a DL there. If you’re still a full-time student you can probably claim your home state as your permanent residence.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      You may not need any ID to update your voter registration, fwiw. In MD you basically just have to sign a paper that says “I promise I actually live here and I’m a citizen and I haven’t been convicted of buying and selling votes, cross my heart.”

      You should update your DL (not your passport afaik) but if your midterms are too close to do that first, see if you even need it for voter reg.

      • NYCer

        Same with NY. I have been registered to vote in NY since 2015, but I just got a NY drivers license a couple weeks ago. I had a different state ID until then. I know you are technically required to get a new DL very shortly after moving, but I don’t have a car so it was not a pressing issue for me until my other state license was expiring. Also never caused any problems.

    • anon

      In my state, you are offered the opportunity to register to vote when you get a library card. So that may be a place to go if the inline option doesn’t work out.
      I guess my question is, what state are you are resident of? Who do you pay taxes to? Because it seems like residency is determinative of whether you can vote in that state, no?

    • Anononon

      Your voter registration, your DL, and your passport are independent. As to voter registration, your voter residence is where you currently intend to remain. Now that you are done with school and you have taken a job in your current state, you have given up intent to remain in your home state and have formed intent to remain in your current state. Register where you are. The fact that you “might” move doesn’t change this, as you haven’t formed intent to remain somewhere else and you don’t have domicile anywhere else yet.

      DL change will be subject to your current state’s rules as others have noted. Depending on what state you are in, there will be different requirements for what kind of documentation you need to present to change your voter registration and what documentation you will need to present to vote; you should be able to find this out on the website of the town or city clerk in your current location.

  3. Anonymous

    Having earlier posts really doesn’t help if all comments go into m o d h e l l anyway….

  4. Anonymous

    I have a super basic trademark law question. Can you violate a trademark if you don’t profit off of it? Like I’m thinking about just printing a few things to give as gifts, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it got some social media attention with this very narrow crowd, so I want to be sure I’m not doing something wrong. It’s also not a dupe of the trademarked words but it is sort of a play on them and it obviously makes you think of the words.

    • Anonymous

      If you’re not using the actual trademark and not profiting off of anything (or otherwise using for business/advertising reasons), I don’t see why someone would sue.

    • Anonymous

      “Can you violate a trademark if you don’t profit off of it?” The answer to this question is yes.

    • Cat

      You can definitely violate a trademark without making any money off of it (because the purpose of a trademark is to serve as an identifier of the source), the question is whether the owner is likely to sue and/or what the damages will be.

      • Anonymous

        You can definitely violate a trademark without making any money off of it (because the purpose of a trademark is to serve as an identifier of the source), the question is whether the owner is likely to sue and/or what the damages will be.

  5. Anonymous

    I know there are fellow genealogy hobbyists on this board. Behold, #resistancegenealogy <3 <3 <3

    https://www. yahoo.com/news/trump-aide-stephen-miller-meet-great-grandfather-flunked-naturalization-test-203424658. html

    • LaurenB

      Absolutely. I gave a talk about genealogy to a group recently and specifically mentioned #resistancegenealogy. it’s awesome. And as a genealogist, it’s so easy to trace the family backgrounds of all of these people and discover — guess what, they engaged in “chain migration” (bringing family members along one at a time) and their ancestors were unskilled and didn’t speak English and blah blah blah.

  6. NeedsToTakeADeepBreath

    A comment in an earlier thread (about the IG account Pleasehatethesethings) made me think of this question. I suffer from anxiety. Generally not debilitating, panic attack anxiety, more just – obsessing about a specific thing or things, which change – sometimes work, sometimes personal life, sometimes health. Basically, it leaves me feeling like I’m spiraling. Does anyone have suggestions for fun, light-hearted things I could do when I need a 10 minute distraction to get out of the downward spiral?

    • Anon

      I have a teen son who suffers from anxiety with obsessive features. Part of my job as a parent is to convince him everything is going to be ok, so when it starts to spiral for him, I tell him to get on the treadmill and listen to his tunes. He is always resistant to it but it always works.

      So can you at least take a 10 minute brisk walk and maybe listen to a favorite album, soundtrack or podcast? I find that listening to something with a story is a lot better to focus on that just listening to a song – with the song I can more easily turn my thoughts back to whatever it is I am worrying about.

    • Anonymous

      Adult coloring books
      Bullet journal
      Meal plan (ok maybe not fun for everyone but I love food)

    • Anonymous

      This isn’t really “lighthearted,” but it does help my anxiety – a 10 minute meditation using the Headspace app. Just did one, actually.

      I also follow a lot of really cute dogs on Instagram and like to scroll through there – a favorite is Doug the Pug. Delightful :)

    • Never too many shoes...

      I suggested this yesterday, but the Twitter I’ve Pet This Dog, detailing the adventures of a 9 year old boy who pets dogs and talks about them.

    • AnonZ

      Getting outside and feeling fresh air on my face always has an instant calming effect.

      Calling someone or sending a text just to chat helps as well.

      Also, I swear by the “Rescue Remedy” drops that you put in water – I’m not sure how much is a placebo effect from getting up and drinking some water, but if I feel myself spiraling, I add a dropperful to a glass of water and drink it.

      My experience has been that trying to find a fun or distracting website results in me vaguely scrolling through websites while being just as anxious as ever. Usually, physically moving to a new place and/or positive human interaction is what breaks the spiral for me.

  7. Anonymous

    I’m kind of loving this necklace – large but still delicate, which I didn’t really know was possible. I do not, however, love the price. Anyone have any ideas for something similar in a lower price point?

    • Never too many shoes...

      I’m not sure if it is the styling, but all I see is Kim Cattrall’s Samantha when I look at it…

    • Anonymous

      Totally different end of the spectrum, but the Bauble Bar collaboration (Sugarfix) with Target has a number of really cute layered delicate necklaces. I assume gold plate at best, but certainly they would last until this trend moves on.

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t spend this much on gold plated. That stuff, and gold fill, tend to tarnish on me right away.

      I wear lots of necklaces in this style, just not in gold. I don’t love Silver as much but i do have one from a craft fair with an artistically framed piece of shell at the bottom.

      I mostly buy long necklaces in tiny pearls (like inexpensive freshwater Keshi) or in little semi precious stones, and I have an assortment of pendants etc that’s I hang from them.

      Unlike what Kat said, I am large of b00b and I really think this style works for me. It provides a vertical line and breaks up what can otherwise look like a big shelf at my chest line

      • Anonymous

        Necklaces of a certain length dangle into thin air, like they’re hanging off the shelf of my chest. Do you get it to lay flat somehow or do you just rock the dangle?

        • Anonymous

          Have you seen the movie version of “Thoroughly Modern Millie” (love!)? If you are large of chest, it may not be a workable style for you…

        • Anon

          I think it might come down to the bra. I used to wear a bra that made no indentation between my b00bs. I now wear a properly fitting bra, El0mi M0rgan, and my b00bs are separated. The gore of the bra “tacks” – ie lays on my chest.

          The necklace and pendant lay in the middle this way. There is no dangling. It works.

          • Rainbow Hair

            HUH so even when I wear a bra that fits just right (as you describe) my shirt/dress makes the shelf thing so a necklace dangles like it’s off a cliff. I do have pretty close set b00bs though…

          • Anonymous

            Bra and the material of your top can impact this. I wear bras that fit very well, but if I am wearing an inflexible wool sheath dress, my necklaces will fit very differently than when I am wearing the same bra with a loose jersey top. I noticed this a lot on a recent vacation — the cross body purse nestled into my cleavage much more snugly on vacation (when I was wearing all sorts of comfy tops) than it normally does on a workday…

  8. Anonymous

    Someone posted in the morning thread about good sources (I believe they said measured and reputable) on Russian interference and connections with right-wing politics and organization. My parents are staunch republicans and pretty sensitive to particular sources – for example, they would not consider something from the NY Times measured and reputable. I’d love to send them towards something neutral-ish that describes this topic. Are there any particular sources or articles you recommend?

    • Anonymous

      Nope. If they don’t consider The NY Times reputable they’re not interested in being convinced.

      • Anonymous

        I would agree. It’s one thing to say the NYT has a liberal op-ed page or to even believe that the stories they chose to cover skew left, but another to take issue with the facts in their journalism. Like I believe the WSJ has a bias, but I also generally accept most of what gets reported in their actual news coverage.

      • Anonymous

        I’m sure you’re right. sigh. I guess something they might find palatable is a source that is generally considered right of center, but with an article on this topic that is really factual.

        • Anonymous

          Or something with a name that doesn’t regularly get ridiculed by Drumpf as being “fake news.”

        • Anon

          I’m an NPR fan, myself. Beyond that, if I’m not sure something’s real or not, I always check the BBC. Al Jazeera actually is really good, too, if they can get past the name.

      • LaurenB

        Here’s your test. Where are the best journalism schools in the country? Where do their graduates go to work? (Clue: No one graduates from Medill, or Syracuse, or Columbia’s grad school program to go work at Breitbart or InfoWars.)

        Of course the NYT is factual. Their editorials have a liberal bent, but they are factual. At this stage in the game, I really only trust the NYT and the WaPo. The WSJ is factual, though their editorial pages are more conservative.

    • Anon

      NYT is mainstream. People with their odd Russian theories are getting them from obscure internet rags. Prob put out by Russians! Their bias makes them think they’re reputable.

  9. Kk

    I live on the top floor of a small condo building (6 units). Our landlord owns this unit, and the rest of the building is owner occupied. We have brown spots and bubbling paint on the ceiling, where it’s clear that the 25+ year old roof is failing. We have pointed out to our landlord several times that these spots exist, although they rarely grow. Today, water droplets falling from the ceiling in a new spot- seemingly from where there’s a lightbulb, but it’s a vaulted 2+story ceiling here so I’m not sure. I’ve called and texted our landlord today, but no response. While it’s not an emergency, I’m frustrated that after a year of conversations about this problem, he hasnt taken action. What can I do here? If I have documentation, is this grounds to break a lease?

    • Ellen

      I asked dad, and he said yes, b/c it breeches the Warranty of Habiltability. If the lightbulb gets wet, it could short out or it could cause an electrical fire, and the place could burn. That violates your right to have a safe place. Tell your landlord that my dad says fix it now, or you can find yourself in COURT! FOOEY on him for ignoring you. We women MUST stick together to avoid this kind of stupididty. FOOEY!

  10. Huh

    FLOTUS wore a jacket to the detention center today. On the back it says “I really don’t care do u?.”

    At first I thought this had to be photoshopped but nope…her spokesperson confirmed it.

    I can’t even. I don’t think she’s evil but how can anyone be this tone deaf??

    • Meh

      Eh..she went on TV supporting Trump’s birther claims. Her downcast eyes and sad face aside, she’s not an unwitting hostage. Also she may hate her husband and still agree with him politically.

      I’m more interested in what they are trying to cover up, a jacket on the way to Texas in June seems….superfluous at best.

    • Linda from HR

      Yeah, I was really skeptical when I first saw, surely she didn’t really do that, surely she knew better. I just . . . even if the message wasn’t intentional, it’s so tone deaf! What is she, a 15 year-old boy who just discovered Hot Topic?

      • Anonymous

        Apparently its a $39 jacket from Zara.

        I just can’t believe that between herself, her stylist, her spokesperson and her staff, no one thought this may be a bit tone deaf?

        • AIMS

          But she only wore it to the plane there and not off the plane to the shelter? So that’s okay?

    • Anon

      Options
      1) she’s truly a tone deaf idiot
      2) she’s sending a message

      I’m not a big fan of either.

      • Anonymous

        She’s definitely sending a message, which is ironic given what the jacket says, but what is the message?
        “I don’t care”? “They’re making me do this but they don’t care?” I’m genuinely lost.

        • Anonymous

          “You insulted me when I got on a plane in heels a thousand miles away from . flooding. You will gate me no matter what because of my husband. Fork you all.”

          • LaurenB

            Because, Melania, you choose to sleep with the devil. Your only redemption is that your tell-all book had better be AMAZING.

    • Anon

      It’s trolling on the part of the Trump administration. No different than when Pence was sent to go see Hamilton or to that Colts game.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not defending the jacket choice, but apparently she took it off before she landed in TX. I’m guessing news had already spread by then, and someone advised her to take off the jacket while they were en route?

      • Anonny

        Yeah but she was wearing it boarding the plane…in the humid Maryland weather…to visit immigrant children separated from families. With everything going on in the world (let alone this crisis) – its horrific she would even own this.

        • Anonny

          If she was a private citizen, whatever – but she is not and hasnt been for the past 18 months (hell even during the campaign). Not saying youre trying to justify her but I think the bigger problem is that she owns and is wearing this jacket to begin with.

        • Anonymous

          I’m the Anon@4:31. Good point about not even needing a jacket in the weather. And good point about even owning this jacket–I wouldn’t let me hypothetical teenage daughter buy this jacket.

    • Senior Attorney

      I just can’t even imagine how this could even happen. How did they let her leave the house in this?

      • Aggie

        1) It is over 80 degrees today in Texas (nearly the same as DC) – there is no need for jackets.
        2) Of all the designer coats Melania Trump owns….she chose a $39 Zara jacket with this message
        3) Think of all the staff members she passed by prior to leaving the White House.

        Of course this was deliberate.

        • Kat in VA

          It was also hella hot and humid in the DMV, where she was originally wearing the jacket. As in, no need for a jacket at all, and definitely not a need for a large anorak like that.

    • anon

      I really hope this comes out as fake news….that jacket would be too much even in the winter in south texas.

      • Anonymous

        It was 80 degrees out when she wore it and I don’t think that she’s ever wore anything so cheap. It was definitely on purpose. What purpose, I don’t know.

        • Anonymous

          +1 – there is no way she owns anything (besides this jacket) from Zara.

    • Anon

      I love the statement from her spokesperson that there was no hidden message. Yeah, no $hit, the message wasn’t hidden, it was in plain sight.

      I wish my grandmother were alive to see it. She criticized Michele Obama as not looking presidential enough or classy enough or whatever other dog whistle term you could think of. I’d love to ask her what she thought of that jacket. Classy?

    • Never too many shoes...

      That jacket may be the only honest statement to come out of this administration.

    • Anonymous

      Also, has anyone noticed she keeps wearing these bulky outfits with giant pockets on the chest? I do think she is hiding something – bandages? The jacket I don’t understand, unless it’s a cryptic message to DJT – like he said to her, I don’t care do you? And she was like, F U, I’m getting on a plane to Texas. I hope that’s it.

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