Splurge Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Colorblock Sweater Dress
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Sales of note for 1/31/25:
- Ann Taylor – Suiting Event – 30% off suiting + 30% off tops
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20 off your $100+ purchase
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off winter layers
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off sweaters and pants
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – End of season clearance, extra 70% off markdown tops + extra 60% off all other markdowns
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
Do you wash your hands every time you back home?
Absolutely without fail. Same for when I arrive at work, before I eat, and after using the bathroom.
Yes. All the time. I live in NYC, where I touch subway turnstiles, poles on the train, door knobs and everthing else in between. So I dare not put anything in my mouth until after I scrub up with soap. When I dated a doctor a couple of year’s ago, he helped me understand how important it was to wash, and he worked in a hospital with sick patents. I later learned that we can all get sick by eating in restrunts where the employees do not wash their hands and touch our foods. That is why it says in the toilets that employees must wash hands, but it applies to all of us b/c it is BOTH we touching our own tuchuses that can get us sick, as well as employee’s touching their tuchuses and then handling our food and drink! FOOEY!
Yes, now that we have a baby. Pre-baby, I was not as diligent.
I do. I didn’t before kids, but now that I have kids and make them wash their hands as soon as they get home, I do the same.
Yes. Growing up, my dad was (is) a stickler for that because he was (is) a massive germaphobe, and now it’s a habit. It’s the first thing I do after coming home and putting down my things.
No why would I? I wash my hands after using the bathroom, before eating, and if I feel they are dirty.
You clearly don’t ride public transit. Or if you do…then don’t be gross.
I Purell after riding public transit but don’t wash my hands with water.
I don’t.
Yes. I do it when I arrive at work, too.
Nope, except when I have been to the barn.
Yes, also more so because of kids. I do notice a difference in how strict I am about it and how often I get sick.
No, and I always thought I was a pretty big germaphobe. I wash my hands before eating or prepping food though. I have a toddler.
No, just before cooking or eating. I have a preschooler and a baby, both healthy, neither of whom is in a remotely sterile environment.
Yes, since kids. Developed the habit when I was coming home to a brand new baby. I keep it up now because I commute by NYC subway. Wash hands when I come home and wash hands when I get to the office.
Yes, basically whenever I get inside from outside and before eating or handling food. Mostly because I commute by buses / subways / cabs, and use cash / credit cards that change hands.
When I take public transit, I use hand sanitizer as soon as I’m off the train/subway/whatever. But when I commute by car, no, I’m not really touching anything gross. I keep a little hand sanitizer in my car for when I pump gas.
Not necessarily. Definitely before cooking and after food prep chopping.
Yes, and my face.
Really? You wash your face every single time or just evening routine? My skin would not like that.
Yes, every time I enter my classroom, home, before eating, etc; as well as several random times a day. I don’t use antibacterial soap, but I do make sure I scrub well. It makes a huge difference in the number of times I get sick.
Yes— I’ve done this since I was little, and I still do. It feels like I’m washing off the outside world, and settling into being at home. I also change take off my shoes right away and change into ‘house clothes/ comfy clothes’ within about 20 minutes of arriving home. I like the comfort, ease— and have an ivory sofa;)
Not every time but definitely before cooking or eating, and when coming from the gym.
If I took public transportation I would definitely do it every time.
I always wash my hands before leaving the gym since I’m likely to touch my face or hair while driving home, etc. The gym is SO full of nasty stuff (you always hear about MRSA on shared equipment) that I do my best to really scrub my hands and forearms after going. Then I shower as soon as I get home and before I sit on the couch/any other furniture.
Yes! Late to this discussion, but I got a really serious MRSA infection from gym equipment. To me, that’s way dirtier than riding the subway, where I’ve never picked up any identifiable infection.
Yeah that’s probably a better practice. And I most definitely change my clothes the minute I get home from the gym.
I get the logic for a newborn baby, but if your kid goes to daycare at 3 months, they’re going to be exposed to far more there. I have never washed my kids hands and am pretty lazy about washing my own, and she’s had one stomach bug and one cold/ear infection in almost 2 years, which I think is really great for a daycare kid. I haven’t been sick since long before I was pregnant.
The scallops read like rick-rack to me. Make it a colorblock with straight edges and I’m in.
My mom sews, so I have a lifelong fondness for rick-rack. OTOH, I can remember an early-season Project Runway where someone went to town trashing the idea of TRIM.
I like, but not the pale-pink. 2 colors + white would have been my platonic ideal.
But my office hovers in the high 60s — WTH do you pair this with? Besides goosebumps.
Navy cardigan?
My office has gone jeans causal for the summer, and I have no idea what to wear. I’m in DC, and find jeans way to hot and uncomfortable during our humid summers. But I don’t want to wear my normal summer work clothing (i.e. nice dresses), cause I don’t think that will fit in with what others do. I’m thinking maybe causal dresses, but I’m having a hard time finding ones that both look nice on me, are clearly causal, and are not too low cut. I’m a hourglass size 14 – I don’t think t-shirt dresses look good on me because they make my middle appear much larger than it is. Any ideas for what to wear?
Old Navy sundresses! I have also found several dresses online at a place called Neesee’s Dresses. It’s modest clothing (so nothing low cut!) primarily for LDS women (I am not LDS) but I found the price point to be good and many of the styles fit the overall aesthetic of me and my office.
Khakis/chinos are perfect for this. Way more comfortable with the humidity, and you can get them in cute colors. Depending on the level of casual, you might even be able to get away with linen pants or similar.
I have a bunch of Talbots chinos in fun colors. They’ve also had some cute summer dresses too that work for casual offices.
Colorful ankle pants? I am your shape and size and am more comfortable in those than in jeans trying to be businesslike. Lots of color seems to make a smarter outfit read more casual so I do not feel out of place next to coworkers wearing jeans.
Linen blend pants?
I dislike how wrinkly linen gets so I opt for cotton, preferably a blend with a little bit of stretch.
Can you wear some of the nylon / wicking material pants from Athleta? I cannot abide denim, esp. any skinny cut, in the hot / humid summer. I out-ate my Athleta pants from a prior season and it was worth it to rebuy for this year. Mine have no R-value and don’t stay damp for long if you sweat.
Ponte knit pants. Maybe the Old Navy Pixie pants. I like the Land’s End fit & flare dresses. I have one in black that I wear with flats and patterned cardigans. I also like the Old Navy jersey swing dresses.
I think ponte knit pants would be so hot and fussy for the summer?
+1 for the Lands End fit and flare dresses. Also, stock up on some thin camis you can wear underneath if you have trouble with low cut stuff.
Yes, LE ponte dresses! Also you can add a jean jacket on top of tailored sheath dresses (on colder days at least) and look cute.
My office is very casual and I wear tons of Old Navy dresses in the summer. They have lots of shirt dresses, swing dresses, and basic a-line dresses.
Check out the Lands End ponte dresses. The sheath style is very popular and can be dressed up or down. Also, if you sign up for their emails, they frequently send out 40% off codes.
I’m almost embarrassed to say this, but LLR pencil skirts (Cassie, I think) are my office casual summer staple. Some of the prints are awful but there are some good ones, and the solids are usually bright and perfect for summer. I pair them with solid T-shirts and a cardigan or denim jacket, and either flat sandals or espadrilles.
What’s LLR?
Just googled — LuLaRoe
Ha, I should have added “skirt.” I just did LLR and I was like “well, probably not an equity firm.”
wearing one of these today with a knotted tunic and flat sandals. Perfect for a casual office.
I’m a similar shape and size and have multiple of the Boden Amelie dresses for exactly this reason. The jersey helps it not look too formal.
I’d personally just keep wearing your dresses but style more casually with sandals, flats, and a denim jacket if you’re cold inside.
I’m also a size 14 hourglass and while I agree that t shirt style dresses make my middle look larger, they can also work if sized up or down. I tried some old navy and gap swing dresses and t shirt dresses in store and found that sizing down in some styles actually made my waist look smaller and skimmed my curves in a flattering way. It really depends on the level of stretch, drape and fabric content so I recommend trying on in store, or ordering multiple sizes as well as ordering different fabrics (sometimes different colours and prints can have a varying fabric composition) just to compare the drape on you.
I bet some of your work dresses are actually fine and can be dressed down with the right accessories. I would get a denim jacket maybe or a lightweight circle cardigan.
Try more casual shoes like https://www.target.com/p/women-s-pam-v-throat-sling-back-mules-a-new-day-153/-/A-53600152?preselect=53495349#lnk=sametab
I recommend dresses from Old Navy and Loft, look for Swing dresses, and cinching/details at the waist.
Also pull on soft knit cropped pants from Old Nay/Target paired with a nicer tee are good for this.
Looking for some feedback from those of you who have invested in a Peleton bike. What are the pros and cons of the bike? I have seen some review from people who are shorter in stature (5’ 2”) about the bike not really fitting them, which have given me pause since I’m 5’0”, so if anyone can speak to that specifically in addition to general feedback, I’d appreciate it.
Thanks, all.
I tried the bike in our local mall, and as a short person (5’4), I also found that it didn’t really fit me. On most spin bikes at the gym, you can move the seat closer to the handlebars to achieve the correct elbow-to-fingertips distance, but on the Peloton, the seat doesn’t move. I have short arms and I was reaching for the handlebars. Their suggestion to me was to cut a slit in a pool noodle and put it over the handlebars to make up for some of the distance. Uh, no… I’m not spending $2000+ on a bike to have to use a pool noodle to make it fit correctly.
The seat definitely moves. That’s really weird they told you it didn’t. I don’t like to move it too far forward because it doesn’t feel great on my knees but the option is there
The seat definitely moves forward. But, I still have an issue, because if I get close enough for my arms to fit comfortably, it does not work at all with my legs. I am 5’5″ with short arms (apparently). Also, Peleton is involved in some sort of lawsuit about music rights, which is effecting the number of classes in the library as well as the music for the current classes. I still like my Peleton but not worth the money for me as I almost always opt to go an in person HIIT class or for a run outside.
Following with interest. I’m 5’9″ and 220 lbs and I need to kick start a fitness routine with something I have to trip over to avoid using. If the seat doesn’t move, that seems to be a major design flaw. Any other issues anyone can identify? Thanks in advance…
The seat moves. I love my Peloton. If you took it away from me now, I would pay twice to get it back. You don’t feel like youre working out alone. It is the object in my life that brings me the most joy. Highly recommend.
I’m 5’2 and I love it. I keep the handle bars a little higher which helps with not being able to move them closer to the seat. I’ve heard of people buying extenders as well. I’d suggest going to a showroom and trying the bike out for yourself since height isn’t a perfect proxy as having a long/short torso can make a big difference in fit.
About the bike itself, it’s amazing. It’s the only workout I’ve consistently stuck with. Not having to pack a gym bag or make it to the gym at a specific time for a class has made the bike something I’ve consistently used for 2 years. I rarely do the live classes but the on demand library is huge, having the option to search by length/type/music/instructor is amazing. I’m also pretty nerdy and love all the data. It’s really cool to be able to track your progress in a non-scale way. Seeing your power numbers increase over time is super motivating
Since I’ve gotten the bike they consistently roll out additional features and classes. The subscription has stayed the same (don’t listen to people who say otherwise, it became taxable like a year ago but that extra money goes to the government not peloton). You get app access with your subscription and everyone in your family can have their own login. The yoga/boot camp/core classes are pretty good and you can do them from a hotel room with WiFi.
Has anyone tried the Peloton treadmill?
I did a class in studio. Not worth the money to me. It’s really big and really expensive. But I’m also not really a runner. I’m hoping they come out with a rower soon.
I’ve also tried it out at the studio. Loved it, beautiful form. That being said, I am a big fan of the running classes but am perfectly content to do them on an ordinary treadmill. The classes are free if you get the bike subscription or $20 a month if you just want to subscribe to the app. If you use a treadmill at home or at the gym, i recommend trying out the app to see if the classes do anything for you. They have made me a much better runner.
We’ve had ours for about 8 months now. My partner is the one who uses it the most.
Pros: the classes are great, there’s lot of choices. I like the spinning, the meditation and the stretching classes a lot. I’ve started using the strength ones occasionally. They’re very immersive and engaging. For my partner, who has a really erratic schedule and often can’t make it to gym classes, it’s been amazing. It’s also really quiet, to the point where in a one-bedroom apartment I don’t hear a 4am or midnight workout at all – which was a problem when we were using rollers or a bike trainer. I really like the competitive aspect and it’s an amazing workout.
Cons: it’s expensive. I also don’t think that the quality of the spin bike itself is really that high. It’s fine for personal use, but given the cost I was expecting a significantly more sturdy bike. For example, the cleats are an older model of delta that stopped being used 5+ years ago – so if you want a second pair they’re a pain to find. The bike itself is a lot more plastic and a lot less metal that I anticipated.I’m 5’5″ and find the height of the seat is fine, but would like to be able to move it closer to the bars. I have a long torso & arms so it fits, but I can see how it wouldn’t be comfortable if that wasn’t the case. I also haven’t been able to get my heart rate monitor to sync, even though it’s the model that’s supposed to work with the bike and I’ve found the post-purchase tech support effectively non-existent.
Overall: it’s worth it because of how often my partner uses it, but it wouldn’t be for just me.
Its a fad. Peloton bikes will be like $100 on Craigslist in a few years.
I mean they’ve been around for several years already and have an almost cult-like user base.
Making the product subscription based was genius I think. I don’t see it drying up anytime soon.
They bike itself isn’t where they make money. Their margins on the bike are small/almost nonexistent. The bike is expensive because it has like a $1000 tablet attached. The real money they make is from the subscription
There are a bunch of Peloton Facebook interest groups and one is called the “shortie tribe.” Maybe see if you can get on that and ask questions. I’m not in any of the online interest groups. There’s also a Peloton subreddit you might try. At 5’3″ and short arms, no problems with the setup. Love love love it more than anything, best purchase ever.
I can’t comment on the height issue, but I love love love my bike and it made all the difference to me in terms of fitness when combined with a busy job and two kids. It helps that I already loved spinning, so it was a known quantity. I am always plotting out when i can do my next ride, what it will be, and how i will beat my prior achievements. I also love the other training content – running classes both for treadmill and outdoors, core strength, yoga, and body strength. Plus, if you get one you have a built in community of peloton riders to encourage you and it’s like you have a real life friend to ride with (if you want!). P.S. To any other corporettes, I’m mommyshark…
I’m 5’2″ with short arms and hate it. For $2,000 the handle bars should be adjustable, but since they are not it causes too much back pain for me to use. My husband (6′ with long arms) loves it though.
Has anyone shopped at Modern Citizen and can speak to the product quality/customer experience?
I am interested in ordering this t-shirt as a comfortable dressed up basic to wear on a casual summer day in my office.
https://www.moderncitizen.com/collections/tees/products/reese-short-sleeve-wrap-tee-white
That’s pretty! I can’t speak to the quality, but I wonder if that down-the-middle seam would be distracting or if the detailing with draw attention away from it?
I have, and it’s quickly becoming one of my favorite stores! I bought a sweater that has been in heavy rotation and holding up well. I returned a few items which went really smoothly, and customer service was able to answer some questions about the differences in some styles really quickly via text.
I have this t-shirt (in black, so I can’t speak to the opaqueness of the white) and it’s lovely. A few things to note … it’s a lot more cropped than it appears in the photos … I’m 5’3″ and short-torso’d and I have to wear it with something high-waisted in order not to flash some belly. Also, the seaming down the front definitely emphasizes each individual girl, if you know what I mean (I’m a 32D, so YMMV). The small fit well, but I sized up to a medium to try for a little more length.
Women’s tuxedo suits, what’s the whole propose of these products?
I think they look amazing on celebrities at the Oscars etc.
Formalwear that does not require Spanx. Also a good alternative when you have to go to a number of formal events each year and do not want to buy a ton of gowns/c%cktail dresses for every season or have to attend a lot of “professional” formal events.
Formal in the winter? Add a velvet top and fun velvet boots and done. In the summer? Add a bustier or flowy silk top with strappy sandals and push up the sleeves.
I have an evening tux with a slightly cropped jacket, a second jacket with peak lapels that is shot through with Lurex, and a blue crushed velvet smoking jacket for winter. All variations get plenty of wear. My current goal is to find an evening tux in a color other than black . . .
Also not every woman is feminine presenting?
IDK — I don’t think that a tuxedo has a male or female shape necessarily. I mean, yes, for men’s tuxedos off the rack. But I have monster hips and would need something custom, and I assume celebrities have something tailored for their actual body (so Roseanne Barr would wear something different than Celine Dion). I don’t think that a man would fit into something I’d fit into in the tuxedo department.
Haha Celine Dion would wear hers backwards with a hat but no shirt!
https://www.google.com/search?q=celine+dion+backwards+suit&rlz=1C1VFKB_enUS682US682&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=sxvOdufwuXIi7M%253A%252Cl3dFxm4Kd6HKGM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kR_wObsQxTdrVI96nGhUlxUd1_Z9A&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiHydGWx77iAhWHvp4KHbs6DQcQ9QEwAHoECAcQBA#imgrc=sxvOdufwuXIi7M:
I think anon was referencing the fact that some women may want a formal option, but don’t want to wear a dress. A floor length gown is the type of garment a women would normally be expected to wear to a black tie event. A tuxedo gives a non-gown option. It doesn’t have anything to do with the need for tailoring. Dudes need their tuxedos tailored to look good too.
Non-delicate formalwear for if you’re not a “delicate” presenting person or will be cycling to the event.
My initial answer was going to be “too look f-ing HOT” but I think that Ribena said it a little better.
I was partially joking about the cycling. Only partially, though! (I often find myself cycling home from late night events to avoid the night-bus situation and walking through the park late at night, weirdly).
I bought a tuxedo dress from Brooks Brothers and wear it for work cocktail functions so I don’t have to show much more skin than I usually do at work.
I thought this was the b u t t o n d o w n s h i r t Tr0ll.
Can anyone recommend a good thong for athletic purposes? I used to wear them all the time but now I hate them. However, I don’t see an alternative for under riding breeches and that’s a sport where I really need to protect against chafing, etc. Any ideas?
Ewww gross why? Wear normal undies.
I always just wore my normal things.
VPL is very real in riding breeches, so things are very common.
Go commando and use Chamois Butt’r or the chamois cream of your choice (not sure if tack stores sell this sort of product. You many need to visit your local bike shop).
Why in the world would you actually prefer a thong for athletic purposes? I’m the opposite. On the few occasions where I have worn one, primarly in the Hamton’s, they have proven very unreliable and actually cause chafeing. Besides, I am very self conscius about showing more of my tuchus, which is exactly what thong’s do, so I do not have any recommendation’s other than a nice beach coverup for my bikini, which I got at Uniglo for $19.99! YAY!!!
I have a similar problem and ended up with seamless boy shorts from target. I can’t have a seam anywhere near my pelvis even in my well-fitting saddle!
Not what you asked, but Uniqlo boy shorts underwear for women? I’m not much of a rider so can’t speak to how it will be for riding, but I like it for everyday use.
+1 to boy shorts. I can’t imagine a thong while riding. I also really don’t care about VPL at the stable, but it’s never been a major issue that I know of. I agree that a well-fitting saddle helps too.
I use seamless Patagonia briefs, which help a lot, but I actually also finally bit the bullet and got the black gel pad for the seat of my saddle. I don’t think my saddle fits great for me (which is part of the problem), but it fits my horse great, and I don’t think a new saddle is in the picture in the near future. The gel pad has made riding so much more pleasant for me, is low profile, and hasn’t interfered with contact, etc. (hunt seat rider).
I use Under Armour pure stretch thongs. Lululemon has some too but I haven’t tried them yet.
I have been a Hanky Panky loyalist for 10ish years now for all purposes (except sleeping). I don’t notice I’m wearing them and they never show. I don’t ride horses but I do ride a bike often and still never feel them. Gusset is cotton fyi.
I just wear soma vanishing edge bikini or hipster style and dark riding pants and call it a day. there’s still a bit of a VPL, but not enough for me to care. And my show breeches, which are the only lighter color breeches I have, are thick enough you can’t tell.
OK, I am the one who posted a while back about how I skipped over the travel-related posts here because they stressed me out and that I hate planning vacations but love being on vacations . . . but here I am. I really want to go away the first week in August, and I want there to be a beach. Where can we do domestically, where good weather is guaranteed, where there is fine dining, and where I can lie around and do nothing but my teenagers can do water sports? Thank you!
San Diego. Outer Banks. Cape Cod/Nantucket/Martha’s Vineyard
Where are you traveling from?
My experience with NC beaches is that you are generally doing your own cooking.
I’d look to CA if you want city-level food in restaurants and not tons of humidity. Late-day storms are a thing in the SEUS.
The Wilmington area beaches have a lot of great dining options, but agree otherwise about the North Carolina beaches.
If you do want to go to the northern outer banks, the Sanderling resort someone linked to below has good restaurants.
https://www.sanderling-resort.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwuLPnBRDjARIsACDzGL08vUUkUvarQ_0rjM2zGM3Z0kTDKEv4iqet6yLWXeWdh6zsmua-OKQaAsIrEALw_wcB
https://www.hoteldel.com/
I don’t have a specific suggestion, but I would suggest avoiding pretty much anywhere NC or south of there in August unless you are from somewhere that regularly has 75%+ humidity in the summer. Someone will probably suggest Charleston. Don’t listen. If you aren’t used to it (and even if you are), the humidity will be oppressive in August. Yes, there will be an ocean breeze. No, it won’t help as much as you would think.
SEUS here and Charleston is off-limits to me until Columbus Day weekend.
Historically, low country plantation owners would go to Asheville for the summer. It’s not that much better now that there is A/C.
30A in Florida (Sandestin, Grayton, Seagrove, Rosemary etc.)
Coming from Chicago. I have been to Charleston in the summer and don’t need to do that again! Thank you for the suggestions so far.
I know you said domestic, but if you’re flying anyway I would do the Fairmont Southhampton in Bermuda.
+1,000
I like Bermuda but I stayed in the Fairmont Southampton 2 summers ago and didn’t love it. They had a water problem for over 24 hours while I was there and the only solution they offered was extra bottled water (the toilets worked but not showers, etc.). The phone in my room didn’t work and despite multiple stops by the (very far away) front desk, I couldn’t even get someone to come look at it. They kept promising, but no one came. This was an issue because I was there with multiple other people in rooms scattered around the resort and we needed to coordinate plans, plus it meant that asking the front desk for anything required a hike (and we had big problems with one of our day trips because the hotel sent a call from the tour company to my voicemail, despite knowing the phone didn’t work…). In general I didn’t think the rooms were in great shape either. That said, the private beach is lovely.
That’s so disappointing. We had a great trip. I loved the trolley/boat to get into Hamilton and loved being able to walk over to the big beach next door to the private beach for a change of pace. Plus dining overlooking the beach and the spa treatment I had was great. Disappoint to hear it may have gone downhill.
You can sometimes get good deals on very nice hotels in Miami. Yes, it will be hot, but there is usually a breeze from the ocean, and if you want to lie on the beach, isn’t hot good? I think Miami has very good food options and there are other things to do besides the beach.
I usually fly into Fort Lauderdale, using Southwest, and in the past have rented a car to have in Miami – if you stay at the resorts, you’d need a car to get to Miami proper or South Beach. But now with Uber/Lyft, that can be a better option than renting a car.
What type of water sports are you envisioning? Southern California generally has very nice weather in August, but water sports aren’t exactly a thing in most beach towns (I don’t think, though maybe I’ve just never tried/looked). I would suggest Laguna Beach, Newport Beach or Manhattan/Hermosa Beach. Plenty of good food in all of those locations.
Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard are also nice in August. Or the Hamptons, but again there really aren’t resorts with water sports that I am aware of.
I second the recommendation for Bermuda if you’re willing to go outside of the US. Probably more resorts with water sports in Bermuda as well!
Water sports are definitely a thing (surfing, boating, kayaking, snorkeling/diving, even wave runners if you are inclined to live dangerously). However, the water is much, much colder in Southern California than the Atlantic coast so be aware of that.
If you want a pretty beach but not water sports, fly into San Diego and go to Coronado (or one of the north county beaches – but I love Coronado). If you want water sports, stay in one of San Diego’s coastal towns near Mission Bay. Just be aware that the water temp will be in the mid-60’s.
Ha! I grew up in southern CA (lived there for 30 years!) and literally never have been kayaking or snorkeling on any beaches in SD, OC or LA. Of course people go surfing, but I am not a surfer. And lots of boogie boarding too. Boating is also done from the harbors not the beaches (Duffy boats in Newport are great). I guess I was picturing OP wanting something like the resorts in Hawaii and the Caribbean that have rental shacks with paddle boards, snorkels, wave runners, etc., and that type of thing is much less prevalent in California.
I do agree that the ocean water in CA is chilly all summer!
If you want to snorkel in San Diego and don’t mind cold water (or wearing a wet suit) try La Jolla Cove. The kayaking there is also nice. Some people like the water sports at Carlsbad Lagoon, but I would find it small.
DC friends, any recommendations on a reputable place that will fix a stuck zipper on a designer handbag? The bag isn’t crazy expensive (around $300) but I love it and want to make sure that I go to a good place. So many reviews online are terrible, so hoping for a personal recommendation.
If you’re up for a drive to Arlington, call Sam Torrey shoes, ask Sam whether he can do it. 703.533.4933. He’ll be honest with you and his work is excellent.
Trying to decide on a dress for a wedding this weekend. Wedding is on the water in New England, no stated dress code, ceremony in the late afternoon with dinner/dancing to follow. Both dresses look pretty basic but I’m hoping with some earrings and accessories it can work. Recent weight gain has made shopping for dresses for events very hard. Two dress options are -https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/city-chic-twist-love-dress-plus-size/5059708 or https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/maggy-london-rochelle-linen-blend-midi-dress-plus-size/5166436. The red one is a little brighter in person (not as deep) and I love that is has sleeves. The blue one is a nice linen material and has a nice scallop detail and I love that it’s a dark color. Likely will wear these shoes (in neutral color) https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bp-lula-block-heel-slingback-sandal-women/4476919 and probably a clutch that is similar to this – https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/cult-gaia-small-ark-bamboo-handbag/4900916. Any thoughts on the dresses for a wedding and/or earring recs?
Red one! Love it!
I think they’re both great choices. I remember your original post.
You have asked this a few times here, yes? I like the red dress- the linen on the blue one reads a little more daytime brunch to me. Have fun!
ALSO, I have those shoes and they are really comfortable. Great for dancing all night!
Yes, I love them! My go to wedding guest shoe. I did post previously but hadn’t yet narrowed down the options. Thanks!
You will look fab!
If you search the big shopping place for Cult Gaia, you can find something very similar. I bought one (to carry at a recent wedding!) and it’s surprisingly excellent quality.
Ha yes this is where mine is from! I already have the bag and shoes, just trying to get the dress :)
Can you not get a plastic straw in DC anymore? I was there for work and really got annoyed at the disintegrating paper straws. I think I swallowed some by accident. Next time, I’d just go without (but drinks just seem to come with them).
I don’t know, but the vast majority of people don’t need to use a straw to drink from a cup (yes I know that there are those with disabilities who need one, and of course they should be able to use one).
But for everyone else, I’m so glad that they are going out of style.
Maybe just ask when you put the order in if they only do paper straws and if so, ask for it without.
I personally wish straws were readily available but not automatically added.
I hate paper straws but also rarely use a straw. I hate when I sit down at a restaurant and automatically get one since 95% of the time I don’t want one.
I feel like table bread at restaurants was this way where it was automatically put on the table and so many restaurants have moved to the ask for it model. So much better in my opinion. Available if you want it but not endless waste
I don’t think it matters, but in a take-away restaurant, you can’t often get bottled drinks. For a fountain drink, I’d like the sort of sippy-cup lids that coffee lids have that let you sip from the cup without sloshing everywhere.
I wish restaurants wouldn’t give you a full cup of ice in your drink if they’re not going to allow straws anymore. The ice makes it so awkward to drink without a straw – it gets in the way, and then the ice sticks together so you can’t drink the last half of your glass without spilling all over yourself. And no I don’t want to ask for NO ice I just want a moderate amount of ice – but I feel like that asking for “a reasonable amount of ice” sounds too nitpicky and difficult. But seriously who on earth wants ice up to the brim? Why is this a thing?
Haha. I agree with this so much. The ice to water ratio at restaurants always driver me nuts. I just want a normal amount of ice!
This is why I ask for a straw. I have to take 3-4 pills with every meal and it’s a mess without.
No, I don’t carry a metal or reusable straw. They’re difficult to keep clean on the Inside and bacteria can grow.
https://wamu.org/story/19/01/02/plastic-straws-now-officially-banned-in-d-c/
Yes, the fact that some people who are disabled need straws isn’t enough of a reason for places to provide single-use straws to every customer every day. The amount of single-use plastic getting wasted for no real purpose is staggering.
Also, I hate the lazy argument that “this won’t solve ___ so we shouldn’t even bother!” If you don’t want to do the right thing because even more needs to be done, then you’re not interested in doing the right thing at all.
Eh I’m all for getting rid of plastic straws but the it’s not enough argument isn’t just a lazy one. The plastic straw thing annoys me because it’s gotten so much press that people feel like they’ve really “done their part” by ditching straws while they continue to drink plastic water bottles by the case, take multiple international flights per year and drive fuel inefficient cars instead of taking public transportation.
It’s similar to “thoughts and prayers” for me. It’s not that it’s bad. It just lets people feel like they’ve done something which makes them less likely to take bigger impact actions.
stainless steel straws for the win!
Glad to see Memorial Day sped up moderation! Oh wait, no improvement at all.
Looking for vacation ideas for 10 days in August. Kids are 4 and 6 are we live in California and would like to travel no more than 6 hours by plane ideally. MIL will be coming as well. I was thinking Hawaii as we have only taken the kids to Kauai — other islands you would recommend? I don’t want to spend the entire time at the beach, looking for other things to do.
Also, other ideas besides Hawaii? Looking for some beach time but other fun activities as well. Thanks!
Vancouver and Sunshine Coast.
Thanks everyone for the ideas so far! We are living in the Bay Area and just moved here literally last week, so the kids haven’t done anything in CA. Don’t want to go to the east coast since that’s where we moved from. Looks like Vancouver is out given the forest fires (see the post below).
We really do want to get away somewhere for 10 days, so some of the local trips like Russian River sound great but probably not suitable for 10 days.
I appreciate any ideas!
San Diego then!
Oh I’d do a 10 day road trip down 1 in that case. Plan to spend a few days in Pismo beach, a couple in Carpenteria, and end up in the LA area, where beaches abound (I like Manhattan beach) and there are also great attractions like Santa Monica Pier and Universal Studios.
If you can rent a car for the road trip, then you can fly home. Otherwise take the fast way home on I-5.
Also I could easily spend 10 days in the Russian river area, particularly Cazadero, where we vacation for a week every year and always wish we had more time. One year we did two full weeks and it was awesome. We’ve been going since our kids were 5 and 3.
https://www.russianrivergetaways.com/
Santa Barbara. Easy to enjoy ten days there, beaches are great, food is delicious, natural history museum is perfect for those ages.
Where in CA? If you’re looking to stay in-state, I’d consider Russian River, Tahoe, Sea Ranch, Mendocino. It’s less beachy in a classic sense, lots of nature, hiking, etc.
I live in No. CA with kids & love all of these places! That being said, I feel like 10 days in Sea Ranch or Mendocino with a 4 and a 6 year old would be too long (A long weekend? Absolutely!). I imagine the 4 year old is pretty limited in the length of hikes they can do, and while I’m sure folks do swim & play in the ocean there, I tend to think of the water as on the chilly side & not necessarily something I’d want to get in and play in multiple days in a row. I could be wrong, I’m sure folks will let me know if so!
That’s a good point. I was thinking of the big relaxing houses, but agree not the best with littles.
Have you done the Pacific Northwest? Seattle/San Juan Islands, Portland, OR, Vancouver? There are some beaches in OR though very different than Hawaii type beaches. My family also went on a 10 day Hawaii trip and we did the Big Island and Maui. My parents actually dislike the beach so we did a lot of other activities while there. Most other beaches that are a 6 hour flight from CA are probably in the hurricane zone and humid.
I think you’re going to have a hard time finding non Hawaii beaches that aren’t in super hot places but I guess if you’re not into our awesome California beaches I guess you’re looking at the east coast:
https://www.tripadvisor.com/VacationRentalsBlog/2017/05/19/summer-beach-vacations-east-coast/
If going in August, i would not suggest PNW incl Vancouver and northern Canada. The smoke/haze from the forest fires seems to be getting worse each year. Last summer in seattle my 6yo developed breathing problems from the smoke.
Thanks for this advice! My younger son has asthma so that would be a disaster.
+1 million. I love Seattle with all my heart but not during smoke season. I have a lung condition and have to stay inside for weeks on end or wear a mask and I still end up feeling pretty terrible.
San Diego is great for kids — the zoo, Balboa Park, Legoland, the beaches, Sea World (although I’m not a fan because of the Orca situation, YMMV).
We live in the bay area and I would recommend:
– Seascape
– Carmel By The Sea
– Mendocino
– Balboa Island (rent a house)
– Newport Peninsula (do a VRBO on the beach)
– Cannon Beach, OR
– Lake Tahoe (rent a cabin near Tahoma)
– Rush Creek Inn – absolutely amazing place resort. Explore Yosemite and Hetch Hetchy.
added on – none of these places except Balboa Island or Newport or Lake Tahoe could I spend 10 days at though.
Oh another one people rave about is Sun River, OR — supposed to be great for families. Rent a house, people love it.
But if you did Balboa Island or Newport Beach you could also do a day or two at Disneyland and go to San Diego for the day.
Oh, yeah. I’ve been to Sunriver (one word, drives me nuts) and it’s great. Tons of kids everywhere, lots of fun outdoor activities. No beach that I know of but a great river you can float down in an inflatable boat with snacks. (And don’t forget your Bluetooth speaker.)
Lanai and the Big Island are great if you want to do Hawaii. (The Four Seasons in Lanai has private transfer from Honolulu which makes it easier to get there.)
For non-beach destinations, Jackson Hole is great in the summer, though arguably 10 days might be a long time. Coeur D’Alene and Sun Valley in Idaho are also really pretty.
Try Cancun or ixtapa in Mexico. Super easy from CA.
I would go Puerto Vallarta over Cancun from Bay Area (< a 4 hour flight vs. almost a 6 hour flight). (Or Cabo is even closer). We've done PV with young kids and had a lot of fun. That being said, it might not fit the bill of the OP looking for something beyond just a hang-out-at-the-beach type of vacation.
I am seeing more people use “partner” to define a person of the opposite gender. I am guessing that this signifies more than just casual dating (but also not fiancee or spouse). Previously, I saw it with same-sex relationships of a degree of seriousness akin to being a spouse but back when people could not legally marry, so it seemed to carry a lot of weight. Does it still?
One person bought up that we are used to it having meant “I’d marry this person but I can’t” to now perhaps connoting “I can marry this person but I won’t.”
Which left me wondering — absent being present at the couple’s DTR convo re this, is it understood now as meaning one specific thing? Or is it murky? It came up recently re a friend not inviting a person’s partner to an event but it wasn’t clear that they were even a couple.
I don’t think there is a bright line rule, and also we are adults. If you fail to invite someone’s romantic partner to an event at which couples are invited, just apologize and invite them.
Yeah I mean… I’m not sure why it’s anyone’s business whether a couple could get married but won’t, and why that is, and what they’ve discussed about it, and and and. It’s tiring to judge the seriousness of other people’s relationships. If someone presents another human as their SO then just take it at face value.
I use the word partner (or sometimes “SO”/”significant other”) to describe my male fiance. It is an easy way to be inclusive in my language both to avoid heteronormative terms (this was admittedly more of an issue before fiance/fiancee, and soon spouse, applied us) and to treat relationships at various stages in their timelines as being equally serious. It also was a habit I picked up in business school, where this is normal language regardless of dating/married status. I do not assume it has any implication of less seriousness.
+1 — plus fiancé/serious boyfriend/etc both feel a little much sometimes.
It would be so awkward to refer to someone as your “serious boyfriend.” Unless it’s serious as a demeanor? It’s like describing someone as your “official mistress” (final season of the Tudors, apparently this used to be a thing).
I had a friend refer to her BF as her “summer fling.” Of course, they are now married with kids and living in suburbia.
I know so many women who move in hoping it leads to a ring, never have a DTR relationship (or never re-have it once it seems that a ring is nowhere in sight). I just wonder with the rise of “partner” if it is “this is the person I live with but won’t marry” if both parties are really, really 100% truly OK with this. I have a feeling, based on anecdata, that it really is not all rainbows and unicorns.
That said, don’t surprise someone by referring to them as your partner if that person is introducing you as her boyfriend. Hello, awkward!
I have found that in anglophone countries outside the US, “partner” is not the exclusive province of same-gender couples (which it largely has been in the US). In fact, I’ve found that it’s frequently used even when the couple is married. In the US, I would assume that they’re using it for a long-term/serious unmarried relationship.
Personally, I’m a fan, since it puts relationships on equal social footing regardless of legal status.
I’m also a fan because it subconciously emphasizes an equality between the people in the relationship. Like, calling someone your partner reinforces that it’s a “partnership” and that you each have the same title within the relationship, and therefore the same responsibilities towards the relationship. As opposed to husband/wife, which can carry some traditional baggage.
Is this true in every instance? No. But I do think words have meaning and this is one way to break down gender roles within a modern relationship.
Yes. This.
I got really confused recently b/c I assumed that partner was a business partner (to be fair, it was an industry event where others were also introduced as “our intern”). My great-uncle is in his late 80s has a girlfriend (they won’t marry b/c it will mess up something with their pensions or leaving stuff to their separate sets of grown children). So I don’t see boyfriend / girlfriend (I think in the seniors villa, it is also often ladyfriend and “gentleman caller” and sometimes “companion”) as somehow infantilizing / not up to the dignity of grownups. But at least you know it is a romantic relationship.
Yeah back in the day I was a partner in a law firm and I still remember when I had to start referring to my law partners as my law partners rather than just my partners.
Meh. I’m in my 40s and it gets old calling him “my boyfriend” partner works better for me and we are very intentionally not headed toward marriage.
+1 I have friends who aren’t married and use partner because at some point boyfriend/girlfriend feels a little juvenile
+1 re “boyfriend” feeling way too juvenile. I called my partner my Gentleman Friend before we were engaged and he got promoted to fiance and then husband.
My stepmother (in her early 70s) calls her somewhat new beau her Gentleman Friend. I think she feels like they’re too old for boyfriend/girlfriend. By the way, I know it sounds weird that my stepmother is dating. My dad died 6 years ago and she is still very much in our lives. She was married to my dad as long as he was married to my mom and is my nephews’ only living grandparent. Her new beau is a delightful widower, whom we all like very much.
For me the ‘partner’ line is probably passed when they’re a couple living together? A colleague of mine uses it to avoid getting into wedding discussions (I think) when talking about her fiancé.
I have heard it as “serious but not marital relationship.”
I hear it used all the time re couples who are serious/living together but unmarried. DH is European and there is a trend away from marriage there. Some of his friends have been with their partners more than 20 years and have kids and a house together. ‘girlfriend’ is more used for a casual dating relationship vs. a life partner situation
I call my boyfriend my partner because it feels more grown-up, and because now that we do live together and are working towards eventually getting married, our relationship is a partnership.
In my observation, “partner” now applies to either gender and can mean “living together but not married” and/or “I am signaling my wokeness.”
I don’t normally want to come across as though I’m signaling wokeness, but I genuinely struggle to say “husband.” “Animal husbandry” is a phrase that comes up a lot in my world, which makes it that much worse.
I think it also works when you are dealing with a diverse crowd to refer to the collective group of people serious boyfriends/girlfriends/wives/husbands/finances, etc as “partners.”
It’s very inclusive of gender and relationship status while not seeming juvenile or overly clunky.
I’ve been married for ~20 years but call my husband my partner, I guess I never realized I might be confusing people! We dated for years before we married, and it didn’t seem worth the mental effort to switch to calling him my husband.
Just don’t do what a former coworker did and refer to your boyfriend as your “lover.” It was super creepy.
Haha “I’d like to introduce you to my LOVAH!!!”
I’ve been travelling in London and Barcelona for work and both times a pickpocket has tried to pry open my Knomo backpack. Granted i have been wearing it on my back but I am shocked and also mildly proud i caught both guys mid-theft.
Any suggestions for a small wire lock so I can lock down the main compartment? Must be super thin so it will fit through the zipper holes. I am not even sure this exists?
Look for luggage locks for zippers – they will have wire ones and really thin ones. We have one but I can’t remember who makes it, maybe Master?
I don’t know this particular backpack but I use a flexible cable lock on my backpack and it fits through most zipper holes. Link to follow but I usually get mine at Amazon. Also, when I’m walking around, I push the lock inside the bag because I feel like leaving it hanging out is a good indication that there’s something worth stealing in there.
https://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-4688D-Combination-Accepted/dp/B000WO84Z2/
Also – I meant to say above that I usually get mine at Target.
Adding to the vacation posts: looking for somewhere my husband and I can go in August or possibly September for a week to really unwind. Flying from Richmond, VA or DC if needed. We’d like somewhere “easy to get to”, i.e. can be Europe but not if we have to transfer a bunch. We don’t want to travel around once we are there. Good food is a must, otherwise we are pretty open, although we are not huge beach people (want to at least mix in other activities). No oppressive heat. So far ideas are Bermuda, Portugal, possibly a city in Spain like Barcelona, Edinburgh? Any suggestions appreciated!!
I’d attack this from the other direction – where can you fly to that’s easy? You have American in Charlotte and Delta in Atlanta – check and see what route specials they’re offering. I would say not Edinburgh. Not a terribly “relaxing” city and food is not their specialty (we got home last year and were desperate for fresh vegetables).
As a proud transplant to Edinburgh I will admit that fresh veg isn’t necessarily our forte. That said, we do have an increasing amount of vegan and veggie restaurants, juice bars, etc. The recent food scandal was that Scarlett Johansson mentioned she hadn’t been able to get chicken wings when filming here – we have a stand-alone very excellent place called Wings just off the Royal Mile.
We do also have a wonderfully gourmet marshmallow place. If you’re into that! (Which I am)
Probably avoid Spain if you don’t want oppressive heat, although as Virginians your heat tolerance is probably higher than mine. I am only half joking when I say I moved to Scotland for the weather (last summer I had to go to an event at the US Embassy in London in July and even there the air conditioning was failing. It was mid 30s maybe and far too hot for me!).
I always recommend Vienna – for a week I’d maybe start there and then spend a couple of days by a lake. Or come to Edinburgh! – but bear in mind it is far more expensive in August than the rest of the year due to the various Festivals taking place.
If you are open to US destinations, I LOVED Maine – Portland and a few days in Acadia – and would go back in a heartbeat. Great food and drinks in Portland, a Bigfoot museum, and if I go back, I want to do a tour of the islands in the bay.
I am not outdoorsy at all but I also loved Acadia. You can go as easy or hardcore as you like – drive up to the sites, take easy/moderate hikes, or camp in the wilderness (no thanks, but I know some people like it).
Thanks everyone! I’ve done Vienna before, that is my only hang up. I am open to domestic options, although we went to Nantucket last year in the fall. I know Maine is different but maybe not different enough. I like the suggestion about seeing where to fly as a starting point.
It’s a bit cliche but Tuscany in September is really nice. Stay at a winery (agriturismo) outside the city and do a few day trips into the different cities.
Yes! I did this last year and it was lovely. The mosquitoes are vicious, so beware!
Copenhagen.
We are going in June and it looks absolutely amazing. Tons of great food on the water, perfect not too hot weather.
Barcelona and Mallorca (connect through Barcelona, could do a few days in each spot). It will be hot, but most everywhere in Europe is hot in August. The Azores are also really nice.
Bermuda is pretty beachy for a week long vacation for non-beach people. I do love Bermuda though!
Random but here goes. I saw a woman this weekend in a grassy green (not too bright but not muted) floral shirt dress that was so so gorgeous. It was like the perfect relaxed, casual but still appropriate for almost anything, cool summer dress that you could wear anywhere. The floral print was super small, kind of like a liberty print. My google search has come up with nothing. I wish I had stopped her to ask where she got it but I feel like the answer would have been ‘oh this tiny little shop in London 17 years ago…’
But on the off chance someone has seen something like this, please let me know!
Reformation has had some dresses like this… I’ve been seeing a lot of green floral prints. I have one from target!
Loft had a bunch of green floral prints recently.
I have this one and think it presents more green in person: https://www.loft.com/floral-tie-waist-shirtdress/500462
Probably not quite the one you are looking for, but maybe close. Very comfy, though I now see there are not many sizes left online.
I loooove Liberty prints so I did a little googling… Dilliards has some Antonio Melani dresses with Liberty prints.
I think I have a similar dress! It is a Floral Split Neck Pocket Dress from LOFT. The website lists it as out of stock, but I’ve seen them in the clearance recently. Link to follow
https://www.loft.com/floral-split-neck-pocket-dress/493263?skuId=26846286&defaultColor=3522&catid=catl000013&priceSort=ASC
Check out Amour Vert. It may not be the dress you described, but it definitely has dresses a lot like that.
Any Santa Fe recommendations?
Meow Wolf
Enthusiastic second.
I haven’t been yet but I am taking a trip there this summer with my 18 year old daughter and we will be staying at La Fonda on the plaza, per recommendations from this board. I also signed up for emails from Santafe.org so that I will have a basic outline of what’s going on the days we visit.
I’d also like to see dining and shopping recommendation.
Me too!!! Booked the trip when I saw your thread :). I’ll be there over 4th of July.
See you there!
Art Galleries along Canyon Road, or the Georgia O’Keefe museum, strolling along the Plaza, check out the Cathedral and Loretto Chapel even just for the architecture if you are not religious. The New Mexico History museum is really good if you like that sort of thing. Does a much better job showing the impact of colonization on Native people than the Heard Museum in my opinion. Meow wolf is an experience, but is also really weird haha. I’m glad I went but not really dying to go back. I prefer live music at the railyards.
My favorite breakfast place is Tia Sophia’s near the plaza. Tomacita’s is a tourist staple and good for lunch. There is also a really good french restaurant called Claufoutis. Go even if you just get dessert to take back to the hotel. I also like to get pizza at the rooftop place on the plaza and sit outside and people watch. NM also has really good microbreweries and a couple wineries so consider a tasting at one of those, such as the Gruet tasting room in Hotel St. Francis for wine. For dinner, I like Restaurant Martin, Rio Chama, La Boca. (But I am usually in SF for business lunches and not dinner, so my recommendations there are limited.)
If you want a real Northern NM experience, take a drive to Chimayo, visit the Santuario and collect some holy dirt and eat at Rancho De Chimayo. If you like hiking, consider driving about 30 minutes south to Tent Rocks. It is incredible. Go early because it is already warm and take water.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who thought Meow Wolf was super weird!
Tent Rocks is a must do. Go as early as you can – it can get hot.
Oh and I can’t believe I forgot this. I love to go to Ten Thousand Wave for a soak!
Santa Fe restaurant recs:
New Mexican food: Tomacita’s, The Shed (love!), Maria’s
Fast Food: Blake’s Lotaburger, and get it with green chile!
Fancy: La Casa Sena, The Compound, SantaCafe, and El Nido in Tesuque
Sightseeing: Folk Art Museum, Palace of the Governors/NM History Museum, day trip to Chimayo following Anon @12:34’s itinerary but also go to Ortega’s weaving shop, Shidoni sculpture garden, Bandelier National Monument
After dinner (if adults only): El Farol for sangria & flamenco, or Cowgirl for a very local scene
I’m following up from last week when I asked about suggestions for solo travel. I booked a trip to London! It was pricier than expected, but not unbearably so! This will be my first solo trip, so I’m also a bit anxious, but mostly super excited.
So excited for you!! I think you’ll love it
London is awesome! I’ve spent extended time there alone (on business trips) and it feels very safe and easy to get around. Have fun!
Exciting! I love solo travel. I do a trip all by myself every year (married with kids) and it is seriously so much better than our family trips.
Oh, you’re gonna love it!
If you go to Sketch for tea (and you really should go to Sketch for tea), don’t forget to check out the loo!
I did my first solo trip to London and had an ABSOLUTE BLAST! I recommend London Walks for walking tours — the guides are really terrific and the fellow walkers are often fun to chat with.
Have fun! I’ve only heard good things about London. I’m no stranger to travels but I’m also doing my first solo trip to Paris later this year. Looking forward to quality alone time and doing whatever the heck I want without coordinating with others.
Just got back from a quasi-solo trip to London – I went with my BFF but we went separate places most days.
Highlights to see:
Churchill war rooms
Westminster Parliament tour
Mousetrap play
Canal museum and tow path walk
St Brides church and crypt museum
Old operating theatre museum and lectures
Sitting on rented deck chair in regents park
Museum of London (free)
Science museum (free)
Two cool restaurants we tried:
Cereal killer cafe (https://www.cerealkillercafe.co.uk/)
L’Autre Polish Mexican restaurant (https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g186338-d700008-Reviews-L_Autre-London_England.html)
Thanks! I should add that I’m open to recommendations. SA, I will check out Sketch.
whoops, the above anonymous was me, Jo March
I was thinking in you this weekend, I pass by my public library and took this book
https://shop.lonelyplanet.com/products/solo-travel-handbook
I have travelled in my own during years but I think it is really well written for people trying for the first time.
Regarding London my favorite places there are:
Southbank side walk (from Tower bridge to the Big Ben)
Tate Britain
British museum
Sir John Soane museum (first Tuesday each month candlelight visit)
Wetmisters Abbey
St Pauls Cathedral
Greenwich (the food market, the litle shops and restaurants and the amazing views from the top of the park)
Portobello Road, not only the market, the whole neighbourhood
Shopping around Covent garden (Neal’s Yard)
Columbia Road flower market
Maltby Street Market (less touristic than Borough Market)
Hampstead Head (the view from Primrose Hill)
the Sky Garden London on 20 Fenchurch Street (free but you need to book in advance)
A coffee in the BFI (there is a riverside cafe an another one inside hidden, that one!!)
Pubs: Gordons wine bar, Princess Louise, The dove and the blue anchor in Hammersmith, Chelsea Potter, The grapes.
Fish&chips: Poppie’s
Restaurants:
Moro (or any other in Exmouth Market)
St. John Bread and Wine (near Spitalfields)
40 Maltby Street
(cheaper options)
Masala zone, Busaba ethai, Brasserie Zedel, Pizza East ( 56 Shoreditch High Street) and go with your instic in Chinatown but please go.
I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me this weekend. This was after I moved states and got a new job to move in with him. We’d been together for 3 years.
Now I’m living out of a Marriott until I find a new apartment. I have no friends or support system in the area and I’m totally alone.
I don’t know how to get through the work day. I thought about taking a personal day but I have too much to do.
I just want to crawl in a hole.
I’m so sorry! Can you see about moving back to where you know people before you sign a new lease?
I wouldn’t be able to make it to work if I did unfortunately.
I’m so sorry! if you’re in the DC area I’ll buy you a drink!
+1 for DC drinks if you’re nearby!
I’m so sorry. If you feel comfortable posting your location and/or a burner email, someone here might be able to take you out for a drink.
Wanted to second this suggestion – sending you many internet hugs, OP!
I’m so sorry to hear. Internet hugs. It’s so hard. If you need to stay in the city for your job, can you try to stay at an Airbnb or two, to have some time before you commit to a lease and try different neighborhoods and while you deal with things? Maybe rent a room on Airbnb short term with a vetted host (with multiple reviews) if you feel you’d rather have someone around, and negotiate a longer stay if you like the place/host? I’ve heard that hosts tend to offer lower rates for extended stays.
I second this. A dear friend went through something quire recently, and he moved out of apartment he was sharing with his fiancee and into an AirBnB studio for a full month (near his work) so he could have some breathing room. Nearly everything went into storage, but that allowed him to reduce contact almost immediately. For what it’s worth, he just passed the 6-month mark and he’s in a great new living situation and is almost ready to start dating. Almost.
Yes, Airbnb does discounts for long-term stays.
I don’t have any advice except to ask your friends to visit. They can help you pack and move things into storage, find a place to live, etc.
I don’t know if you can look for a job in your old city, but I really think that “I moved for my boyfriend and the relationship fell apart” is a completely reasonable explanation to give a potential employer.
+1. If at all possible, I’d find yourself temporary housing and buy time to make longer-range decisions as to job and location. My husband left me after we had relocated for his job, and this is what I did. After taking some time to think and plan, I moved back to where I had friends and family. It’s so much better to be where I have local support and community, in a place that has nothing to do with my ex. Nobody has ever questioned this decision, personally or professionally.
The experiences of the writers here aren’t all good, but I’ve had good luck staying with vetted hosts with good reviews. Linking in case you might find it helpful: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/29/realestate/our-year-of-living-airbnb.html
Time to page Shots! Shots! Shots!
What a horrible experience to have – being sad when you’re far away from your comfort people is the worst.
So sorry to hear this. Just want to send warm thoughts from an internet stranger. Any chance you can take some personal days and fly home (even if you have to work from there, it may be nice to be with family/friends)?
Oh, no. I’m so sorry! Big hugs and remember the only way out is through!
I agree. What a total loser he is. We as women need to stand up and not do anything for a man who has not proven himself to be honest and devoted to us. Once we find he is having s-x with any other women, it is sayonara, doosh nozzle!
this is OP. thanks everyone.
i just moved here 3 months ago for this new job. i actually love the job so much more than my old one, so that’s the only positive to this situation.
i want to move back to where i have friends or family but don’t think i can do that after working here for just 3 months. my plan is to get an apartment for as short a lease as i can find and then reassess in 6 months – a year.
i really want to take some personal days but i have two problems that i could use advice on: 1) i already have vacation days two weeks from now for a long weekend for a bridal weekend and 2) i feel uncomfortable using personal days when i’ve been here such a short amount of time.
i’m trying really hard to focus on my work but i can’t do anything. i feel so pathetic, i was in a colleague’s office and started tearing up bc he asked about my weekend and if everything was okay. he was actually really nice and since he’d been divorced he understood what it was like.
i just don’t have it in my to work right now but i have something due the end of today. i don’t know what to do. now i’m in my office crying with the door closed.
For the due at the end of the day, is there anyone who can cover for you or get an extension? Can you give them a heads up that you’re not feeling well and might need backup / extension (which is true)? You don’t have to go into specifics, but it’s better than having things blow up last minute. If you don’t have any contraindications, I took Tylenol or aspirin (standard dosage) because I read somewhere that the physical pain from emotional trauma is real, and that the medication actually help to numb the pain.
So sorry. I tried all of these tactics in a desperate attempt to get myself together when I was in a similar situation. I don’t know if they worked right off the bat, but I was able to stop crying for the few hours immediately after to keep it together at work at the time. http://taoofdating.com/how-to-get-over-breakup-professional-edition/
Take a sick day if at all possible. You are definitely entitled to a mystery illness and I couldn’t agree more than emotional pain is real.
+1 take a sick day, even if you haven’t been working there “long enough”. On the personal side, you probably need some breathing room from office chit-chat. From an employer’s perspective, giving yourself time to rest & recuperate will help you be more productive in the upcoming weeks
Another vacation question – we always go somewhere warm in the winter (we live in the upper Midwest). The past few years we’ve gone to the Caribbean but husband requested a slightly more budget trip this year, so we’re thinking Florida. I used to live in Miami so I’ve already spent quite a bit of time in southeastern Florida (including the Keys), so we were thinking the Gulf Coast. Is Destin nice? The beaches look really pretty. Any other areas se should consider? Suggestions for hotels/food in Destin? We like luxury hotels, pretty beaches and good food. Swimming in the ocean isn’t that important to us but we’d like the weather to be warm enough for t-shirts and hopefully some swimming at the hotel pool. We will have our toddler with us, but don’t especially want a “family resort”per se, since we’re not wild about other people’s kids.
When are you going? The Panhandle isn’t particularly warm in the winter.
Probably December.
We were in Destin last Thanksgiving. We had a great time but it’s definitely too cold to swim in the ocean, if that is what you are looking for. But the beaches are pretty and were great for walking around, and we stayed in a house with a heated pool and had a wonderful time.
that far north in Florida will likely not be warm enough for the pool in the winter. Short sleeves and jeans probably. i’d consider somewhere further south, maybe on the western coast like Naples, Marco Island or maybe Sanibel
Compared to the upper Midwest, it will probably seem warm, but winters in the Destin area aren’t always consistent short sleeves and swimming weather. Destin is much more commercialized than some of the other areas east towards 30A (Seaside, Rosemary, etc), but that also means that things stay open year round so you will have plenty of places to eat, shop, etc. I like Destin in the winter because it’s locals and snowbirds- not a million beach visitors clogging up the place like it is during summer. It’s also a good location for golf and deep sea fishing if those are your thing. If you want more of a resort feel, try the Sandestin area.
Panhandle resident here. It’ll be anywhere from 25-70 degrees, maybe sunny, maybe gray and tends to be rainy in December. The beaches are lovely, but probably not what you’re looking for.
If you are going to the Florida panhandle in winter, don’t expect shorts/t-shirts and swimming in pool. While warmer than Chicago – it is chilly. (I know, as I grew up in the area). We go much further south on the Gulf Coast.
Since you said you’re not wild about other people’s kids, has it occurred to you that other people are not wild about yours?
Yep. And anyone who wants to avoid kids completely is free to stay in an adults only hotel. There are plenty of them, including at least one that I saw in Destin. I’m not doing anything wrong or unethical by taking my child to a hotel that allows children but doesn’t cater to them.
I go to Destin every summer because a family member owns a condo there. The beaches in Destin are beautiful, but it’s not a luxury resort place. It’s a very large beach town, the traffic is terrible, the non-beach activities are geared to families/kids (water parks, go-carts, etc), and the restaurants include a lot of national chains. Not far from Destin is Watercolor Resort, which sounds like it may be more your style.
But the Gulf Coast will be too cold in December. Even central Florida can be too cold for swimming in December. I’d go to southeastern Florida, Miami, or the Keys, even though you’ve already spent a lot of time there.
Palm Beach. I know you said you have done southern Florida, but if you want it to be warm, then I think you have to go south. Palm Beach is usually beautiful in the winter and PBI is an easy airport.
Thanks for the weather feedback, everyone – sounds like we will have to go further south.
We stayed at the Don Cesar in St. Pete’s with my niece when she was 2 1/2 and it was relatively family friendly without being anything close to a family resort. We went in October and were able to swim in the ocean and their pool comfortably. The food at the resort was good but the restaurants nearby were excellent.
Cartagena is great and can be done with a similar budget as 30A/panhandle. And it will be warm.
How do you stay motivated to go to the gym? I find I’ll be good for like a week and then I’ll fall off on the weekend and after that point it’s like squeezing blood from a rock to get to the gym for two weeks and I’ll end up losing all progress I made during the week I was going. I used to be an avid yogi (literally twice a day) and it didn’t feel like a chore the way it does now, it was just part of my day. I have had to switch from my old yoga studio to the gym that is next to my office for convenience, and it has yoga classes, but even it being next to my office doesn’t seem to be enough to get me there! I’ve also just come out of a terrible break-up and am not really dating, so don’t feel much motivation for my body to look good (because no one sees it except me). But I am starting to notice my clothes not fitting me like they used to and that sucks. Any tricks to get me back in it and to make it stick this time??
My trainer always says there’s a difference between motivation and discipline. Most people aren’t motivated to go to the gym but discipline means you do it when you decide you have to. My two cents – decide how many times per week you want to workout and make it non negotiable. Schedule it in your calendar and stick to it. I stick to all sorts of meetings and commitments and plans with friends and dates when they’re in my calendar so I may as well stick to the important commitments I’m making to myself.
Hugs – it is hard. Maybe try mixing up your workouts? Try something else that you actually really like doing? I love spinning so even if I don’t feel like going to the gym to lift weights, I’ll schedule a spin class and I figure some cardio is better than nothing.
Something like spin may also be helpful to get your mind off the breakup. I find really intense workouts are the only thing that gets my mind of all the BS in my life.
Good luck! You can do this.
Agreed with this. It’s taken me a long time to realize there is a difference between motivation and discipline. But absolutely what helps is finding some form of exercise that you actually enjoy (and a gym that has the trainer(s)/equipment/vibe you like). For me, that is Crossfit and lifting weights. I may fall of the wagon here and there for a short time when life gets in the way, but I’m much more consistent with working out when it’s something I enjoy and feel invested in. Maybe you need to set small, easily achievable goals for yourself so you can feel that you are making actual progress. But agree on setting a realistic schedule for yourself (e.g. working out M, W, and F at 7:00pm) – add it to your calendar and treat it like a medical appointment.
Counter-intuitively, sometimes I give myself permission to skip a workout, but skipping one usually gives me the refresh I need to get back on track. I also try to frame working out as I GET to work out, not I HAVE to work out. I try to trick my brain into thinking it’s something I want to do and am privileged to be able to do (have the time, the money, the baseline health), but without beating myself up about it.
Another thing is that I tell myself I don’t have to do the whole work out (I do a group training circuit-style thing). I say, Self, just go and you can leave after ~20 minutes if you are not feeling it. By then I’m usually feeling it and finish the work out.
I do think that finding things you enjoy is key. I really like my training class (incorporates strength and cardio in an ~50 minute class) and I also take ballet. It’s also nice to have a couple of places outside of work where I am known – I am not really true friends with people at the gym or ballet, but it’s nice to see the same people week after week and chat a bit. Gives you a sense of community, in a way.
The “you only have to do 20 minutes” pact with myself has been crucial for me. I almost always end up doing a whole workout, but on the rare occasion I will indeed stop at 20 minutes, and I don’t feel guilty about it.
I agree that you just have to find something you really like. Can you make it back to your old yoga place at least part of the time?
One trick I have used is to pack my gym bag the night before, including my makeup, and putting it in the trunk of my car. That way, if I decide the next morning that I want to skip the gym, I actually have to go outside and retrieve the stuff I need to get ready for the day – that is typically enough of a deterrent that I don’t do it.
I also have a rule that I don’t actually have to exercise, I just have to go to the gym, get on a treadmill, and turn it on. If that’s literally all I do – walk for one minute and then go shower and get dressed – that’s fine. But 95% of the time, once I’m there, I’m motivated enough to get through the workout.
Lastly, sometimes I have planned rewards based on fitness goals – like I treated myself to a Lululemon splurge for running 100 miles (over the course of about two months).
Oh, I’m also going to disagree with everyone who says “find something you like!” I work out 3-4 times per week and I rarely enjoy an actual workout. I have to remind myself that I love all the benefits of exercise, but I have accepted that I’m unlikely to ever find an activity that I enjoy for its own sake, that also gives me the workout intensity that I need. So, finding an activity you like is nice if you can do it, but can also act as an excuse to not work out.
Talking out of both sides of my mouth here: I always say I hate working out but I love having worked out. So there’s that.
It’s sort of like a 401K/retirement account – it’s not fun to save the money, but you will be happy you did. It’s also, like exercising, one of those things you just have to keep at, however imperfectly, for most of your life if you want to reap the full benefits.
+1 packing my bag the night before has been vital. Another thing I would add is that my regular exercise (running) is not necessarily something I enjoy while doing it, but the practice improves my enjoyment of weekend exercise activities (hiking, team sports, running with my partner). Maybe try to schedule in monthly activities you are curious about (kayaking, acro yoga, etc) and use those to motivate you to get in shape during the week?
OP, create a list of smaller habits that help you work out regularly and start from there. Examples: packing gym clothes night before, penciling in time in your calendar, planning meet-ups with your active friends.
I’m surprised to have found myself regularly going to the gym for *a year* now. That has not been my style. What’s worked for me is that these are short classes (30 minutes, though you can stay for multiple back-to-back classes) so the whole deal, changing, driving there, working out, driving back… can be done in less than an hour. I don’t have a ton of downtime and want to spend most of it with my kid, so being able to fit it in quickly has been key.
I pay for a membership that costs more than a basic gym membership I think, $75/month, which gets me two classes a week. Comes to $9/class? Or something? But I am throwing money away any week where I don’t go twice, so that’s motivating.
Finally, I think it helps that my goals are not “make body smaller” or whatever, but are like, “feel the way I feel when I exercise regularly.” More of a process goal than an outcome goal? So I very seldom feel like “it’s not woooorking” because if I’m doing it, it *is* working.
Three suggestions that work for me.
1. Tell someone (a colleague or friend) that you’re going to do a specific workout the next day. The thought of him/her asking me how it was and having to say “um, I slept in” helps me go.
2. Find a workout buddy. I try to make cycling plans or running plans and meet the person there. That way, you can’t cancel. Same thing with a class at the gym.
3. Make it financially painful. I’ve signed up with a trainer or bought classes where you have to give at least 24 hours’ notice to cancel. They are expensive enough that I won’t cancel.
Good luck!
Two things that have (at times) worked for me:
1. Finding a workout buddy who will badger me (like the a boss will do at work)
2. Tying it to a specific routine (for me, going at 12 pm or 6 pm just before lunch / dinner)
A lot of the comments here are reminding me of what Gretchen Rubin calls the Four Tendencies. The tendencies you have impact how you make decisions and build habits. The book might be worth a read, it helped me figure out how to build better habits that work with my own personality, not the ideal person’s.
Found an awesome Crossfit gym with an incredible community. Gives me the intense workout part I like and the awesome people part, which I need. I never want to miss because that is where I see my friends.
Salary expectation? Solo attorney in NYC who employs 2 associates is looking to hire a 3rd associate — someone somewhat senior but not someone coming in with a book. Does only employment work (plaintiff) side. I know they are open to an arrangement where if you bring in business you get 25% of the attorney fees should there be a win/settlement, however they are also being clear that they have more than enough business so they aren’t looking for a business generator solely, they are looking for someone to do the work and if you bring in business, that’s an added bonus. What would you expect base comp to be for this kind of position?
From what I’ve seen, base comp would generally be about 1/3 of billables.
Different poster – what’s a rough $ number on something like that? This is something I’m vaguely interested in as well but I’m not clear on how many hours you bill/hourly rate at firms like this.
It would depend on your hours and billing rate. If there’s an annual hours target then you multiply that by your billing rate and that should give you roughly an idea. For example, 1800 hours a year at $300/hour = you’re bringing in roughly $540k in revenue and your compensation should approximately one-third ($180k) of that revenue. If you’re applying for a job, you should have a good sense of what both of those numbers (target hours and billing rate) are going to look like. Or let’s say your base comp is based on 1500 hours a year and then maybe you get a bonus of one-third of your billables over 1500 hours.
The one-third rule is a general rule of thumb, but it should give you a sense as a prospective employer or employee of whether the comp is reasonably in line with the revenue being generated.
Thank you for this basic formulae, I am severly underpaid and will be using this in my job search.
I am applying to a volunteer leadership training event through a nonprofit, as a recipient/applicant.
Of course the application asks for leadership experience.
Is it necessary to use volunteer leadership experience? My volunteer leadership experience is all more than five years old, and is usually event-based or wrangling donations from corporations and working as a team with others to plan these sorts of events.
Can I use some leadership experiences at work? Like, unexpected problems occurred and I Handled It?
Or should I use old experience?
Or should I use newer but lesser experience (think room mom for kids’ schools, ugh)
Thoughts?
If it’s a leadership *training*, then surely they don’t expect you to have that much experience? I’d say something like you had XYZ experience several years ago but are looking forward to learning more/refreshing skills. And I’d stick to actual leadership as they envision it (are they teaching you to lead groups of people?), so that’d mean leaving out fundraising, etc.
How do you “reset” after a weekend (or week or month) of eating poorly? Do you have specific reset meals or habits?
I don’t “reset.” I just continue to eat food, none of which is “bad” or “good.” I say this as someone who dieted for most of my life, always “resetting” and claiming “it’s a lifestyle choice, not a diet” as food became ever more wrapped up in shame and guilt and secret binges to counter the restriction. You can opt out of that. Why not try cooking a fun meal you haven’t had time to make or going to a farmer’s market now that summer produce is hitting the shelves? Don’t make it about doing a “reset” – just find something you’d like to eat.
<3
I find that I crave a lot of veggies, especially leafy greens, when my diet has gone off track. I try to capitalize on that
and make some really colorful salads with whatever I’m craving at the moment. I also bump up the flavor to help my palate get used to healthy foods again – olive oil, lemon, garlic, and salt is my go-to burst of flavor. Sun dried tomatoes and olives are also great. You can tell I gravitate toward savory rather than sweet treats!
I’ve found that it’s best to not do anything too abrupt or cold-turkey (immediate juice cleanse, for example). My go-to is re-upping my water intake (I abide by the “your weight/2 = oz to drink” equation), which inevitably lapses over vacation, and incorporating as many whole foods as possible. Salads, smoothies, eggs…I’ll just do some really clean eating! I just got back from vacation myself, so I’ll be having a salad for lunch today. Sample meal plan:
Breakfast: green smoothie
Lunch: salad w/ protein (chicken, usually)
Dinner: protein + veggies (although these days I just have a yogurt bowl consisting of greek yogurt, whatever fruit I have, nuts, and maybe flax or chia seeds)
I also do intermittent fasting, which means I eat from 11 AM – 7 PM, which was critical to helping me lose the freshman THIRTY I found myself carrying after graduating last year. I’ve been able to maintain the weight loss even though I haven’t been super strict with my eating.
Most importantly, ease yourself into it! Set yourself up with mini-goals and you’ll get there in no time.
One meal at a time. Have healthy, easy food in the house and make it easy to succeed.
Also YMMV but I do better when I track on My Fitness Pal.
Oh I need this. I ate like a prisoner on death row last weekend!
I just got back from a week-long vacation where I wasn’t worried too much about my diet or weight loss goals, and ate what I wanted when I was hungry. Turns out, no “damage” had really been done, I weighed myself my first morning back and I was more or less the same as I was when I left. I’m just gonna go back to my routine, and eat the way I’d been eating before I left. Well, back to it as best I can, since I haven’t had a chance to fully restock the fridge yet.
I mean, I’ve definitely come back from trips that triggered some seriously unhealthy eating habits – I’m looking at you, Paris trip in 2017! If that is the case, where you’re craving foods you were enjoying on the trip, maybe now is the time to sub in healthier, low-calorie alternatives, or just stay strong in saying “no,” or making those foods occasional treats rather than let them become everyday indulgences.
Ha! Paris did the same thing to me this year! I have no regrets, though.
Oh for real, I don’t regret the trip, I just wish I’d managed those post-Paris cravings better. All the ham + cheese combos, brie, baguette, croissants and all the chilled wine out on the balcony was nice, but led to some crazy weight gain.
A lot of roasted broccoli. I’m kind of joking, but I also find that I start to crave green vegetables and that’s the one that’s easiest for me to make.
For me, eating poorly and feeling icky is always a result of eating out too often, usually due to travel. Planning and cooking some delicious healthy meals at home and packing my lunch gets me back on track. If I’m particularly bloated, I will track my sodium intake for a few days.
I did a wellness reset after a very stressful work period in which I was not able to eat as healthy as I would have liked (work event meals). I did a three day meal plan at Sakara Life as a reward and although it was super pricey I am pleased with how I felt and how it enabled me to get back on track. Now I have motivation to carry it forward and it got me out of my eating rut with different foods. I think there maybe other less pricey options out there but it worked for me.
I’m curious, and I guess I need a gut check here, do people believe we’re obligated to “like” our friends’ social media pages for their businesses, side gigs, art, band, etc.? Or is it okay to ignore those invites when the page is something you’re not genuinely interested in, and are outside the target demographic for? I’ve always believed the latter to be true, but I’m running up against someone who subscribes to the former belief, and I’m not sure if I’m right to be annoyed, or if maybe she has a point and I’m actually a jerk.
The other day, an acquaintance I’m connected with on Facebook complained that not all of her FB friends have “liked” her photography page, and she was passive-aggressively threatening to unfriend the people who hadn’t. I had “liked” the page when she added me seven years ago because we met at an event she’d been working at as a photographer, but I thought it was odd that, in her mid-late 30’s, she was putting so much stock in this. I’ve definitely declined to like my friends’ pages in the past and thought nothing of it, and if I’d started a page for my side gig as a specialized DJ, I wouldn’t expect friends outside the target demographic to like the page just to be nice.
If it’s just an acquaintance, I won’t like them. If it’s a good friend, I’ll like it and if it’s not something I’m interested in, I’ll immediately unfollow.
I feel zero obligation to do anything on social media.
+1000
+ another 1,000
Any fun houseguest thank-you gift ideas (that I could fly with)? Sweets/desserts are a no-go.
I have a friend who brings artisanal soaps from a local shop where she lives. I love them because I’d never spend the money on that type of thing myself and they are just heavenly. She usually throws in a few bath bombs too.
I like the idea of consumables, or something for the home like a cute dish or hand towel. I have a friend who always gives me a wine themed towel – she actually wraps an nice bottle of wine in the towel – and it’s a small pleasure to have a nice new clean and not stained dish towel.
I also like the idea of just taking the hosts out to a nice dinner while you’re there, and then sending flowers after.