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Updated: Feb 19, 2019 133 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Dina Pointy Toe Pump

Coffee Break | ·

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I think there are maybe three kinds of people when it comes to a statement piece like this shoe: 1) you hate this kind of thing and wouldn't be caught dead wearing it, 2) you buy it and have a TON of fun thinking about all the different colors and patterns you can wear it with to make a complex, layered, fashion-y look, or 3) you put on a black sheath dress and simple jewelry and think, hmmn, I need some personality, add the shoes and go. I myself am probably mostly in Group 3, with occasional time spent in Group 2. How about you guys — do you enjoy statement pieces like this shoe — and if so do you like to make a complex, layered look (e.g., purposely wearing the pump with a checked pant or a tweed blazer) or do you prefer to use it to add in some “easy” personality with an otherwise classic, neutral look? The lovely pumps are on sale at Nordstrom (where they may or may not be starting their President's Sale sometime soon — they've added 1000+ markdowns in the past 24 hours, so stay tuned!) — the pumps were $350 but are now $245. Dina 95 Genuine Calf Hair Whipstitch Pointy Toe Pump This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  2. Anon

    Can anyone recommend a bag with same features but cuter (I especially don’t love the military looking nylon loops on this one)?
    – 15 wide x 10 high x 6 deep or a bit bigger
    – Crossbody single strap
    – Flap closure (no top zipper)
    – Luggage strap on back
    – Side pockets of some sort preferred

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DVB6WW7/ref=sspa_dk_detail_3?pd_rd_i=B07DVB6WW7&pd_rd_w=kBBce&pf_rd_p=10ebaf99-73de-4f5d-a994-e7f5fc52f86f&pd_rd_wg=wNELu&pf_rd_r=72ECJ1BMBXGB0ZGXJMFA&pd_rd_r=6b6eae1d-3085-11e9-acf9-71fc83dc301e&th=1

  3. Anon

    Kat, you forgot group 4, where you buy something like this because it’s so beautiful but then you never wear it because it hurts your feet and you can’t figrue out how to wear it with anything.

  4. Anon

    I’m off to Thailand on holiday this weekend for ten days, mainly staying in Phuket. Does anyone have any recommendations of top things to do there? I’m not a big partier and like nature, swimming etc.

    Also, I was thinking of taking a linen dress – is that a mistake? Will it just be wrinkle city in the humidity?

    • Ellen

      You are so lucky! I am so busy this month that I doen’t even have time to read Corporate until I get home. FOOEY!

    • Anonymous

      Advise against linen unless you will have access to an iron.

      I’ve been to Phuket multiple times, and usually went scuba diving and snorkeling and did spa time. There are a bunch of cool restaurants, and bars that are great for a late afternoon drink… There was a great reggae one that I remember. There is some shopping, but it wasn’t my favorite.

      Avoid most of the animal attractions, because the treatment of the animals is pretty questionable.

  5. Cat

    I personally don’t care for the featured shoe (as I don’t like calf hair, black and dark pink/red together, OR animal-ish prints) but am firmly in Group 3 with respect to statement footwear. My current favorite is emerald green suede heels — they pair remarkably well with gray and navy outfits!

    • NOLA

      I agree. I think calf hair is creepy and I wouldn’t buy these. But, I do have some fun shoes that work as Kat suggested. I have the Via Spiga Deanna mary jane in a blue and black fabric print and they are gorgeous. Not particularly comfortable, but when I do wear them, I have people stopping me to say how much they love them. They just elevate an outfit.

    • Anonymous

      I like pumps in fun colors as well, right now I have teal blue (L.K. Bennett from a few years ago) and burgundy. I tried patterned calf hair but it seems wintery to me and looks off with black tights so they are stranded in my closet. Suggestions?

  6. Waiting For The Call

    I am crawling out of my skin waiting on an offer phone call. My references have been called and I got great reports back. It’s been a day or two since those calls. I know for a big (BIG) co. like this one there may be a couple day lag but it’s making me slightly crazy. So… please help me do a little pre-planning. I’d be going from a very, very small law dept to a very, very large one (multiple offices, divisions, etc.- about 15ish attys in the location I’ll be in). Medium sized private company to a F50-100. (I am a mid-level atty) What books, resources, etc do you suggest? Any general recommendations? I’ll be moving about 1,000 miles to a new city/state too so there will be a lot to think about. (single, non-homeowner) Appreciate it!!

    • Anon

      Don’t start planning. Live your life as if you’re not going to get the job. That’s the best thing to do.

      • Anon

        +1. Don’t start planning. I hope you get it, but it’s not a guarantee until you have accepted a written offer.

    • Anon

      You don’t know if you’re going anywhere yet. I wouldn’t start planning.

    • anon

      Just want to add that at my F-500 company we take an OBSCENELY long time to call people back, even weeks/months, even with the hiring manager pressuring HR… so yes, I’d just keep busy.

  7. Kate

    I am going to a “presentation party” next weekend – every guest gets a few minutes to do a demonstration, presentation, etc. I am new to this area, have met the hostess once (expect to go for coffee one more time before the party) and expect to know no one else. I am not funny and can’t sing, but I teach a specialized fitness class part time and might teach a few steps from that. Thought I’d ask as a fun question – what would you present/demo at such a party? If you’ve been to one, any memorable presentations (good OR bad)?

      • Vicky Austin

        I get serious “unnecessary icebreaker in a university class” vibes from this concept, but if you have the right group of people I’m sure it can be fun.

    • Anon

      Wtf, is this a real thing? I would demonstrate how to drink a glass of wine to survive this terrible party.

    • Winter

      Huh. Did not know that this was a thing. Candidly, I’d be suspicious that it’s an opportunity for most attendees to spend a few minutes talking about their direct marketing/pyramid scheme business. If that is not the case, I’d be tempted to demonstrate some kind of fancy cocktail…perhaps one that gets set on fire or has some other dramatic element. Will be interested to hear a report back on how it turns out! Have fun!

      • Anonymous

        Total MLM vibes. Though I live in a wealthy Southern suburb where 85% of the women stay home so MLM is all around me.

    • Belle Boyd

      I’ve spent a lot of years as a dance instructor. I’d teach a short, simple party dance that guests could do at a wedding or other similar event.

    • Triangle Pose

      Curious because I’m so confused, is this like a Toastmasters group? Or did a regular group of friends decide this is a theme of what would otherwise be a regular party? Where did the concept of this party come from?

      • Kate

        Regular group of friends, I think. The hostess doesn’t seem to be super social, and I get the impression they started doing this a couple years ago as a way to get people together without having to “Plan” a party but still have a thing for guests to do rather than casually hang out, etc. I just met her and thought it was really sweet for her to invite me, but truly have no idea what to expect. Hopefully no one will yodel.

    • A Nonny Mouse

      This reminds me of an assignment from my public speaking class in college where we had to give a 10 minute speech instructing the class how to do something using props. Mine was boring (I talked about how to play the flute), but the most memorable one was the girl who demonstrated how to make prosciutto by wrapping a raw pork chop in toilet paper, sprinkling it with a salt shaker from the dining hall, and suspending it from the edge of a desk with yarn and a hairband.

    • Anon

      I did not know this was an actual thing, but I was thinking of hosting something like that for a group of women in my field. I was thinking that each person could present on something she is an expert in but that the rest of the group may not have come across. Can you report back after the party and let us know if the concept was actually fun?

    • Lana Del Raygun

      I have to ask: does “I teach a specialized fitness class part time” mean you’re in an MLM like Beachbody? Because if so you need a new plan ASAP. People go to these parties to learn more about interesting topics their friends are passionate about, not to be pitched on the latest pyramid scheme.

      But if it’s a normal, non-exploitative thing, then it sounds fun.

      • Pompom

        I just assumed Zumba…didn’t even think of an MLM fitness aspect! This is likely due to the fact that I don’t intentionally fitness.

        • S in Chicago

          “I don’t intentionally fitness.” I love that. I’m stealing that. :)

      • Kate

        All good questions and thoughts!

        I teach ballet for people with physical disabilities (of various ages) and have taught all sorts of dance and dance fitness classes. I do not sell anything and based on the invite, it sounds like most people do things like “here is how to do X yo – yo trick” or sing a song from their garage band. Alcohol is allowed. I think it’s supposed to be a way for people to show off their secret talents, but I’ve never been to one and do find it a little odd. Good idea, but could either be REALLY awesome or REALLY horrible.

    • Anonymous

      What a horrifying concept. I’d present a cocktail. Prebatched, pour and serve.

      • Anonymous

        Actually that’s a great idea. I went to a networking event once that taught us how to make seasonal c*cktails. Everyone loved it!

    • Curly

      I’d love a party like this. Depending on the crowd, I might try funny or serious. If I was going to do serious, I’d show a baking skill, like how to make a lattice on a pie. If I was going to do funny, I’d “teach” a few really slow, terrible sounding chords on guitar (I’m currently a verryyyyy beginner learning how to play). I like the idea of showing a few steps from a fitness class!

      • Kate

        Phew! I’m planning to teach a few dance steps that pretty much anyone could do, no matter how inflexible or crotchety. Honest to God if someone starts selling something I will fake sick and walk out :)

        • Curly

          I have never been to exactly this, but I’m part of a group that does unconventional dinner parties sometimes that sound torturous to some people. There’s always a fun ice breaker because we try to invite enough people so that at least half of the group doesn’t really know each other, then we either do an activity and analyze it after (we once did an hour-long silent meditation) or we have a topic or a few topics that people discuss in depth (anything from policy issues in our state to weird job/relationship problems, and everything in between). Anyway, the parties are always a blast. The people who tend to come enjoy this type of activity, so everyone participates enthusiastically and loves it. I’d bet that’s what’s going to happen at the party you’re attending. People who would hate that kind of thing don’t come, so I bet the people who do come will be into it.

    • nutella

      I’ve never heard of this before and would worry that it would be taken over by MLMs!

    • anon

      I only had to do this once- it was when I was interviewing for a test prep company and the instruction was to teach something in 5 min that was not academic based. I did parallel parking w/ props… got the job. :) I think they key is just to practice it in front of someone and get feedback.

    • Aggie

      I’ve attended these events but they have always involved food and most have been themed. The host provides the space and their one dish, the remainder of the guests present their dish in a demo….Food Network style. The last one I attended was breakfast for dinner and I made unicorn swirl waffles which were a big hit.

    • Rainbow Hair

      Aw I think this sounds super fun. I’m imagining one friend who could definitely teach a fun game in 5-10 minutes. I would teach something ~spooky~ I think! I could also teach this thing I learned in summer camp where you go clap clap tap tap tap clap move-the-cup … and everyone passes the cups around the room. Ha I totally want to throw this party!

      • Rainbow Hair

        Once my beer club had a meetup where we all had to wear name tags as a woman we admired from history or fiction, and then tell the group a little bit about her. Maybe I just like nerdy parties. (Definitely.)

    • Chris

      I think this sounds fun! Please report back to us, as I might steal this idea for an upcoming party.

  8. Anonymous

    Looking for advice or commiseration. I’m avoiding a good friend today and I feel guilty. Friend is in a relationship with a total loser who has no business dating her awesome self. I’ve objected to Loser since before they got together (he’s married). Friend talks about nothing but how disappointed she is in him, how he’s lying to her, etc. She frequently texts me that she has an emergency – that turn out to be, like, he hasn’t returned her text in 3 hours. I’ve repeatedly told her to leave him.

    She complained yesterday that they still didn’t have v-day plans and she hopes that means he’s planing a big romantic surprise! He’s already told her he hates vday and thinks its sole purpose is to swindle men out of money (I have a tiny violin for you). I told her 1) leave him, 2) use your words and 3) keep expectations low. She insists that he’s going to be great and it totally won’t be like all those other special occasions (like her bday that she refused to spend with me because she was sure he was going to surprise her… and she ended up alone).

    I have my own vday drama going on. My relationship is coming to an end. We care about each other but we’re not compatible in some key ways. This guy is really good at holidays so I think today will be great, but it’s likely our last holiday together. I want to enjoy tonight with him, not sit on the phone listening to friend cry about loser. She’s already asked me to be her backup plans for tonight and told me I should blow off my guy because it’s ending anyway. Tips on responding to the inevitable “emergency” texts and calls? Or how to feel less guilty not responding to them?

    • Anonymous

      Maintain your boundaries. If it comes up, tell her you are going to make the best of your evening and then go radio silent should she persist. I think you owe it to yourself to make the best of your day, and that further includes not spending emotional energy on her right now. You have plans for the evening. You can’t be texting or on the phone with her when you have plans. Hold firm.

    • Anonymous

      Ignore them entirely. She’s a drama lama dating a married man. Don’t apologize. Block her number if you have to.

    • English Ivy

      You have already listened to her and told her repeatedly where you stand in regard to her relationship. If she brings it up again, maybe you could tell her, “I think you know where I stand on this.” And don’t further engage on this matter.

      She has to respect herself enough to demand better. She is a mistress, and she is going on as mistresses tend to do. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can love her enough or wish her well enough to change her behavior. Only she can do that.

    • Anonymous

      Turn off your phone and don’t feel guilty? Not your circus, not your monkeys.

      IDK what to saw about the friend. I’m not friends with people who lie/steal/adulter so I’d dump her. It’s really immoral to be invovled with a married person.

    • Anon

      Do not respond to her texts or calls today. Turn off your phone once you have your evening activities planned out with your person. She will be there tomorrow in full dramatic glory for you to deal with (or not if you choose).
      You have the permission from this internet stranger to set boundaries, focus on yourself, and not respond or talk to her today.
      I hope you can report back tomorrow and let us know how awesome it was to just focus on you and what you need today! :)

      • Anon

        +1. Send one message saying “I’m not available tonight, but let’s check in tomorrow evening.” Rinse and repeat.

    • oil in houston

      turn off your phone…. took me years to put myself first to those friends, but you’re worth it

    • Anonymous

      Not having you as a distraction/backup may be what she needs to get the message.

    • Anon

      Her problems are not your problems. Her choices are not your problem. Let it go. Lean out.

    • Anon

      You can send her a quick happy galentines day text and then ignore the rest.

    • Anonymous

      So he’s married and she thinks she is going to garner his time and attention on Valentine’s Day? This does not sound like someone well-suited for dating a married man (if anyone is). Also, you are not required to support her relationship with a married man in any way. You don’t have to dump her as a friend, but you don’t have to be a part of that aspect of her life, either by encouraging it or by advising her about it or by supporting her feelings about it or by listening to her gripes about it.

      • Anon

        Thank you for saying this. I am not in the OP’s shoes exactly but do have a friend who is flirting with disaster (pun NOT intended) in this area. I’ve been struggling with how to support (or not) this friend. Your last sentence is perfect. Thanks for the (unintentional) help.

        • Anon

          Oh, wait, maybe I read that wrong. OP, you should definitely not take on this friend’s problems today.

      • OP

        This is helpful thanks. And for Anon @ 3:59/4 – yeah he’s married to someone else. But the marriage is totes over, they’re basically roommates, he’s getting a divorce and moving out any day now! (eyeroll)

        • Inspired By Hermione

          Oh dear.

          Turn your phone off or, if you think knowing it’s happening will be distracting, leave it at home. If it’s not there you can’t “just check it real fast” and be sucked in.

          Also, yes, she seems like she just doesn’t get it if she thinks he’s going to be Mr. Romance tonight. Isn’t it always some variation of “really, it’s over!” when a man cheats on his wife? And yet I would bet that in many of those cases the wife isn’t on the same page and will still expect a Valentine’s Day dinner.

    • Anon

      Even if things with your current guy are ending soon, that’s no reason to blow him off. If he’s a genuinely decent person, he deserves to be treated well. Communicate that to your friend, who might take the hint that decent people treat each other well and do not let their circumstances dictate their behaviour.

      Also, your friend is a drama llama. She’s a grown adult dating a married man who blows her off. Some part of her psyche is getting something out of that dysfunction. Do not let that be your problem.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly she doesn’t sound like a good friend – is she ever there for you?

      • OP

        She has been, which is why I’m trying to hang in there. She’s a great person but her relationships with men are a nightmare. I can’t wait til she’s done with this guy so I can have my friend back.

        • anon

          She’s a “great person” who is dating a married man. Let that sink in. I realize nobody is perfect and I’m sure she has good qualities, but wow, this does not look great from an outsider’s perspective.

          • Anonymous

            This. She is a shit person who has been a good friend to you. She is involved with a married man. She is not a good person.

          • Anonymous

            I think “shit person” is not fair. If she believes this guy, then the marriage is over so she’s not doing anything wrong. Obviously, she shouldn’t believe this guy, but that’s a separate issue.

          • Anonymous

            Of course she is doing something wrong. She knows he is married and she sees him anyway. Until he is divorced, she is doing something wrong. Regardless of whether he is divorced, she and he are both exhibiting extremely poor/selfish/reckless behavior.

          • Anonymous

            She’s 100% doing something wrong and immoral if she is involved with a married man no matter what he says or claims about the state of the marriage.

  9. Anon

    Has anyone taken an LaBlast class? I just saw an advertisement for classes at a local studio and I’m interested, but wondered what others thought of the style/format, etc.

  10. downer of a poll

    What do you think is the best way to answer get-to-know-you questions about siblings when your sibling(s) have passed away? Do you mention/count them?

    I’ve been answering this for a long time, and I know I can choose the option that seems most comfortable to the situation. But I came across the question in my foreign language lesson, and realized I probably need a more rehearsed answer when I’m traveling and trying to translate in my head.

    I’m especially interested to hear where anyone’s background is from, to see if the answers vary. I’ll likely be traveling in Europe and Latin America.

    • Anon

      I am wondering something similar. I am no contact with my brother. He is an addict with severe issues. I haven’t spoken to him or seen him in years. I often get asked if I have any siblings and I don’t know what to say.

      I’m very sorry for your loss.

    • Anon

      I’m sorry for your loss.

      I lost a child. So I have two living children and one dead. I kind of wondered how to handle the same thing after she died.

      My grief therapist suggested that if it was just a new acquaintance, I might say “I have two children” and if it made me feel guilty I could just say a little apology to my deceased child in my head.

      So I did that for a number of years and now it’s just habit. People who know me well know about my loss, and I don’t owe further information to people who don’t know me well enough for me to share that.

      Additionally, it can be a real conversation stopper to bring up a dead child! So the thing I had to get around was disrespecting her memory by skipping her. But I feel fine about it now. I know I loved her and miss her every day, and that is what counts.

    • interesting

      Re: background.
      To some extent I envy people their faith when they say, “we have a child who is in Heaven, and we’ll see him soon…”
      I am not Christian and don’t have a secure faith in one sure afterlife and I wouldn’t know what to say in that situation.
      I think when people ask that question for a sibling, they want to know about growing up, not nec. current. So you could say, “I grew up with 1 brother,” “I was raised with 1 brother who has died” (allowing for translation) or what I would be able to say in another language: “My brother has been dead for ## years.”
      I guess it also depends on what people believe in your country or language – Indians or Chinese might have a different view of what happens when someone dies.

    • Anonymous

      I’m sorry for your loss. When talking with strangers that you’re probably never going to see again, I would just steer the conversation elsewhere. “I haven’t spoken with my sibling lately, but my friends are all doing great!” Or if you have other siblings, “I have a brother in CA and a sister in Maine” and just don’t mention the deceased sibling.

      Personally, I have two estranged siblings and one not-estranged sibling. I would never tell someone, “I have one sibling” – it’s not true and it would be painful to hear myself say that. I usually say something like, “My brother lives in CA” and don’t mention the other two.

    • anonforthis

      I have an identical twin sister. In casual social situations, I only say I don’t have siblings. My sister has severe schizophrenia, and is institutionalized. I do not want to explain that in casual conversation for numerous reasons. But it also kills me to lie about it.

      • Anon

        What if you framed it as having a disabled sister? Most people are not going to press for more, but if they do, she lives in a medical center due to the round the clock care she needs for her (mental) condition.

  11. Paging BrooklynBetty

    In response to yesterday’s question on bars in NYC, the only place that is good for dancing of the places I listed is probably Lavo, they have a club type situation going on in the lower level. I’ve seen people dance at Seville as well, their DJ is pretty good, but the dancers were the outlier the times I’ve gone. I also thought of another place, Bathtub Gin (in west Chelsea, borders meatpacking so has some of that crowd, but trends sliiightly older). They don’t really have a dance floor, but every time I’ve stayed late, we end up dancing because the DJ is so good.

    Early dancing is probably a no go anywhere you go, things don’t tend to pick up until after 10..

  12. Selfish Bestie

    Hi ladies, I posted this past weekend about the dilemma between my friend and her ex, and me. I really appreciate all the responses and they gave me a lot to think about. I wanted to provide some additional context to see if that would change thoughts. The guy in question was an ex she was really hung up on for a really long time. To make it even more complicated it was some what unrequited love, according to him. So part of why I felt so bad is because their situation was pretty messy. Although it was years removed when he started to like me – I still felt like it was wrong. Granted I AM very hard on myself I can agree with that but I still feel like I was wrong to have explored the feelings there through conversation and to have liked him back for even a split second. Granted nothing happened between him and I other than him kissing me in the parking lot which I pulled away from — but I still felt like I had betrayed her in that moment. When I let him down he didn’t take it well at all. Mostly because we were good friends before he started liking me and I didn’t want to continue the friendship other than cordiality. I couldn’t go back to that level of depth with him. I also wanted to mention he was deeply supportive of me as a friend and helped me through some dark times so I felt like a jerk for cutting him off. But I just felt way too confused based on the fact this was my good friends ex and a guy that was a good guy and a good friend to me just not the guy for me. I still want her in my life because she’s a wonderful woman and a lovely, loyal friend. I will speak to my therapist about this as well but I do value the opinions of objective people who aren’t close to me; knowing my intentions and what I am like as a friend, that may ultimately the situation differently. The question in this whole thing is should I take her up on the offer to be her friend again and essentially rekindle what we had as best friends. (I don’t know if she knows about him and I or not), and if I do how do I process the quilt? (Will talk to my therapist about that as well).

    • Anonymous

      Didn’t see the original thread but there is literally nothing to feel guilty about. You need to explore with your therapist why you are inventing scenarios in which you are a bad person. You are not a bad person.

      • Selfish Bestie

        Thanks for your input. Yes it’s something I’m working through. Childhood stuff but we are working to pinpoint the cause.

    • Anonymous

      You ignored her for five years? You need to get over it. You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to apologize for. If you want to be friends be friends. Keep getting therapy because your guilt is bonkers.

      • Selfish Bestie

        I didn’t ignore her, we lost touch when I moved. And I didn’t necessary go look for her either. She recently came across my social media and reached out. I don’t think it’s “bonkers”. People deal with things differently based on their life experiences.

    • Senior Attorney

      Dude, you really need to talk to your therapist about this. There is nothing in this new post (or the original) that indicates that you have done one single thing that warrants any guilt at all, much less the gigantic pile of guilt you are putting on yourself.

      • Selfish Bestie

        Thanks SA! I’m working with my therapist (have an appointment today) to figure out why I feel that way. I really really think I did something wrong deep down. Hopefully it’s something I can work through and stop feeling this way. It’s heavy and unpleasant.

    • Idea

      *** The question in this whole thing is should I take her up on the offer to be her friend again and essentially rekindle what we had as best friends. ***

      I think you’re jumping to conclusions here. Just meet with her already! You don’t have to be BFF you’ve both changed.

      • Selfish bestie

        Hmmm.. thanks for your input. Not sure what conclusion you meant but I just mean being as close as she basically seemed to feel we both are based on our convos since she’s reached out (reminiscing, same rapport, etc) And I still feel the same way about her (being a wonderful person, etc). It’s basically like nothings changed. Maybe that’s part of what led to the guilty feelings on top of the guilt & shame issues I am already working on. The feeling that it’s like old times and the nostalgia.

    • Selfish Bestie

      Thanks everyone for the responses! Without posting here I wouldn’t have been alerted to the fact that this IS in fact a worthy discussion for a full session with my therapist. I was going to bring it up in a kind of rushed day and move on to something else I wanted to talk about but now I think I need to really deep dive and speak with her about this in detail. I’m working on these kinds of feelings in general but it’s a long journey :) I know a lot of it has to do with parenting myself and parental rejection. Anyway. Thanks again and Happy Valentines Day to all!

  13. anonshmanon

    I want all the things from society 6! Does anyone know if the different categories go on sale periodically, so I can hold out for a discount on my cheesy bath mat with otters holding hands?

  14. Anon

    You guys, is there any way to get food smells out of my office without using products that could trigger anyone’s allergies or scent sensitivities?

    I have a toddler and I am pregnant and I have gestational diabetes and I solo parent most weekdays. My chance for exercise is my lunch hour, so I eat at my desk. My office is freezing. The meals I have that (1) are GS-friendly and healthy (2) I have time to make and (3) I actually want to eat (something warm and comforting)…all end up smelling a bit. For example, I do lots of pureed vegetable soups (chicken broth based) and leftovers (today was leftover roasted chickpeas and chicken with a salad on the side).

    I feel self-conscious. I usually eat with my door closed (doing work on my computer) and open it afterward. How do I get the smell to dissipate quickly? I’m thinking of putting a bowl of white vinegar under the table. Don’t really want to use air freshener as I don’t want to inadvertently trigger someone’s allergies or scent sensitivities. Help!

    • MomAnon4This

      Bring an orange and leave the peels in the garbage and it will smell like orange peels.

      If you’re pregnant and the smells don’t bother you, they don’t bother anyone else.

    • Anonymous

      Just move on. No one cares if your office smells slightly of soup! Don’t microwave fish and you’re good.

    • Anon

      I think F*breeze makes an air spray without a scent now. Also, I think an air purifier would help. Finally, if it’s a short-lived scenario just don’t worry about it. I think this becomes a true issue when it’s a long-term habit and the offender doesn’t recognize it’s annoying. You are cognizant of the issue and it’s not a forever thing.

    • Blueberries

      You’re kind to think of people’s comfort and sensitivities. However, I wouldn’t worry about the smell of things like vegetable soup and chickpeas—they’re not very strong or off-putting.

    • Marshmallow

      I have a small plug-in UV air purifier in my office. It doesn’t have a scent but I think it does help dissipate smells and generally make the office fresher.

    • Anonymous

      I could solve crime with my pregnancy nose. If it doesn’t bug you (even if it does), you’re fine.

    • Anon

      I have a Hamilton Beach True Air air filter for 40$ …works great, quiet and effective, I use at home for a litterbox area and it’s fantastic. Your food sounds pretty reasonable- not sure you need anything!

      • Anon

        I forgot–I have one of these, too. It works well but slowly, so I’d leave it going all the time, OP.

  15. AnotherAnon

    Dumb question: Can I wear a chambray top in a business dress code environment?

    • Associate Attorney

      No way. Maybe on a dress down day (in our office, that’s business casual) – but even that would be a stretch.

    • Anon

      Hmm, business casual or business formal? I’d say no for a more formal workplace. But it probably also depends on what you wear it with. I’d wear one to my office with black pants and oxfords or loafers or something.

    • Anonymous

      Definitely depends on the denim code for the office. We skew more business in business casual in the office, but there’s an absolutely ban on anything denim or denim look alike.

    • Anon

      Have seen this on a casual Friday in the summer with white jeans and nice heeled sandals. This is the type of casual Friday where men are wearing polos and khakis or jeans. I’m in the SEUS.

      • Anon

        I agree with this, and also there’s kind of a range of chambray, with a “chambray-lite” being more appropriate than something that looks like a straight-up jean shirt. Wow, not a sentence I ever imagined writing. But you can google chambray shirt white jeans and see some looks that are cute.

        • Equestrian Attorney

          Yup, I can see this being cute in a casual environment in the summer. Just stay clear of the black pencil skirt + chambray shirt that was weirdly popular a while back.

    • Anonymous

      I would, maybe with a pencil skirt or as any other button up blouse with slacks. But my office’s definition of business casual includes knee high riding boots, culottes, and dresses that are on the short side at times. Los Angeles, CA.

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