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I've always been a “regular kettle on the stove” kind of girl — long before I was into tea, interestingly enough. I thought kettles looked pretty on my stove, and they were functional enough when I wanted or needed to make tea. I barely used them, but because I kept them on my stove for decoration I would get annoyed at how food would splatter on them and they'd be hard to clean. After a while, I'd get a new one, ditch the old, and try to be better about moving it to and fro, on and off the burners while I was doing other things. Pain in the butt!
(Yes, yes, a much smarter woman would have figured out I should move it around far more quickly than I did!)
Readers turned me on to the idea of a gooseneck electric kettle somewhere along the line, and after some research I got this baby — and I am never going back.
It's so easy to use — it makes hot water incredibly quickly — and for some reason I always feel a little fancy using it. (Even if I'm just using it to fill up a hot water bottle for my son with a tummy ache!) I'm not sure how important the gooseneck is, to be honest, but I appreciate being able to have a really targeted water stream to sort of soak the tea leaves first.
If my husband is traveling and I only want to make one cup of coffee for the day, I often use the kettle with a drip funnel, and again I appreciate being able to target the water so it doesn't splash everywhere and just gets the coffee grounds wet.
This particular electric kettle is $44 at Amazon, but there are a ton of similar options at Target, such as this pretty one from Bodum. Pictured above: Bonavita 1.0L Electric Kettle Featuring Gooseneck Spout
Psst: These are some of my favorite tea items that I've mentioned here on the blog before. Also, a random note — our “little purchases that make life easier” roundup posts are so popular I've started tagging little things I mentioned during Coffee Break.
Psst: stay tuned for some of my favorite teas!
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Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ribena
This is one of those weird transatlantic things, isn’t it? I read a discussion online about measuring for baking, where American commenters were surprised and nonplussed that pretty much everyone in Europe will have a set of kitchen weighing scales.
Anon
I am in the US have a digital scale. I’m surprised at how often I use it. Primarily for baking but sometimes for things like wanting to use exactly a half box of pasta etc. Or for weighing things to mail.
So what is a “set” of kitchen scales? I just have the one.
Ribena
Oh, I just call them a ‘set’ because of the old days when it was a physical set of scales with weights on one side and a bowl on the other. Like this – https://www.trouva.com/products/victor-pale-blue-victor-cast-iron-kitchen-scales?currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1347323669&utm_content=59839223688&utm_term=&targeting=pla-438412501583&device=t&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4tvm4LLF6AIVlp3VCh19CQZHEAQYBSABEgKEQPD_BwE
Yes, I grew up baking with scales like this. Yes, I’m under 30. Hahaha.
Anon
Oh that is cool! I have an old cast iron “set” that my late father used in his business. At this point it’s not terribly accurate but ok for approximately weighing things in the 5-20lb range. (Which we don’t really need to do often.)
Ribena
It was great for mental maths skills – if you wanted to weigh out 150g of something you’d put the 100g weight and the 50g weight on the scale. When much mum went back to teaching in the early 00s she sourced a whole classroom set of scales like this because they were so good for that (I guess the cooking equivalent of an abacus) but they’re not really hard to find and pretty much only a premium decor product like having a rotary phone.
Anon
Yes, I just have the one scale, but I use it every day to make coffee, every time I bake, and generally whenever I want to be precise about following a recipe. It helps me cut down on dishes to just tare the scale and add ingredients directly (vs. measuring everything in measuring cups).
Anonymous
I use mine to weigh yarn for knitting projects.
Small Law Partner
I was really surprised at how hard it was to find electric kettles when I first moved to the US (before the days of e-commerce). I had a stove-top kettle, but I hated how slow it was, obviously didn’t turn off on its own, how it took up space on the stove, and if you forgot to move it got spatter on it from cooking. I drink tea 2-3 times a day, so convenience actually matters with this. I have an Oxo electric kettle now and it is great, and sits between my espresso machine and weighing scale…. :) Btw I haven’t felt this non-American in a while – not since I had the wild idea to put washer/dryer hookups in my kitchen and confused everyone.
Anonymous
Do you *need* weighing scales? Maybe for fancy things?
I feel like American cooking evolved on the frontier — like frybread. I feel like you’d seem precious weighing things to make many dishes. But perhaps there are dishes I don’t make where it could matter? Plus, my recipies are in terms of volume — a cup of this, a teaspoon of that.
Anon
It’s very helpful in baking and I think you’ll find a lot more recipes published by Americans will have weight measurements.
Ribena
Ah, but 75g of macaroni takes up far less space than 75g of rigatoni! And trying to measure solid things like carrots by cups confuses the heck out of me. Deb Perelman at Smitten Kitchen does both volumetric and weight measurements for most things and has a good explanation of why.
For example, a standard sponge cake recipe I learnt when I was about 9 – weigh your eggs. That weight is the same weight as you need for your flour, butter, and sugar. Super simple, and with a modern digital scale you just measure them all into the same bowl and reset it after each one.
Anon
I think Anonymous @ 2:52’s point is that for cooking, with things like macaroni vs rigatoni, it really doesn’t make much of a difference. It’s is very useful in baking though, which is chemistry and needs to be (more) exact.
Ribena
It does if you’re trying to cook the right amount of pasta for your meal! I don’t have to think about how much air is included in the different shapes, just weigh it straight into the saucepan and go.
Anonymous
Again, the point is that you don’t need it. Many of us simply eyeball pasta and don’t measure it one way or the other. None of the recipes I use require that kind of precision, and none (except for a few baking recipes) are written to ask for weights of anything.
Anonymous
With precision baking, I get it. Not with general baking.
BUT, I have to be precise with #s at work. I like being approximate in the kitchen.
Anon
I’d get an inexpensive scale (digital) just for weighing mail if you can swing it. Then you’ll end up using it for things like baking. Flour in particular can really vary in terms of how much fits in a standard measuring cup.
Anonymous
I definitely don’t need it but one great unexpected benefit is if you use a scale, you can wash fewer measuring cups! You can put your mixing bowl on the scale, tare it (zero it), add an ingredient, tare it again, add the next ingredient, etc.
Anon
I use a scale because then I don’t have to wash measuring cups.
LaurenB
“On the frontier”? My ancestors immigrated to major East Coast cities, not the Wild Wild West. And what on earth is frybread?
Anon
I thought electric kettles were pretty popular in the UK? I have a version of this kettle with the temperature control on it and it’s great.
Ribena
Yes, they are, that’s what I mean – every kitchen in the UK will have an electric kettle and a set of kitchen scales, and most of them will have a washing machine in too – and we’re always kind of surprised that the average American household either won’t have those things or they will be in other rooms.
Anonymous
Why be surprised that a different country, with different tastes and with recipes developed using a different measuring system, wouldn’t have the same tools and gadgets in its kitchens as yours?
I bought a scale when I needed it for some very particular bread recipes. I rarely need it, because the kind of cooking I do and the recipes I use don’t require it.
Ribena
It’s one of those things that you don’t realise isn’t universal until you learn that it isn’t, if that makes sense. Like sweetcorn on pizzas, or sausage rolls. I think we also have an assumption in the U.K. that we’re more culturally similar to the US than to neighbours that speak different languages? I don’t know.
Anon
Sorry– Sweet corn on pizza???
I do remember being in the UK for the first time and being delighted by corn in tuna salad.
Ellen
I think the biggest diference between the US and Europe is that in Europe, the people have all kinds of measurements and utensils for cooking and baking b/c they cook and bake! We don’t. That simple. I was never taught as a child to cook and bake. I only knew how to go to the bakery to get breads and cakes, and cooking was very limited to mabye opening a can of tuna with a hard boiled egg. Mom is an OK cook, but NOT like Grandma Trudy, and Grandma Leyeh calls out for food in Riverdale where there is a great deli.
Anon
There’s sweet corn on pizzas all the time here in the People’s Republic of Berkeley. The Cheeseboard’s is my fave, but I’d take Nabolom’s any time.
Anon
This is Anon from 4:30 – It sounds delicious; I just never thought of it before!!
Anon
Sort of. They’re incredibly common in Asian-American homes.
Ribena
Ooh, I didn’t know that! Is that because of different cooking traditions and recipe repertoires? Thanks!
Alanna of Trebond
Because of tea? We have two!
anon
Because a lot of Asians like drinking warm water, plus tea and ramen! I stayed in an AirBnB with an always hot water dispenser and I LOVED it but I can’t justify the cost. If I had babies that needed warm bottles all the time, maybe…
MagicUnicorn
I’m in the US and have had an electric kettle in my house for nearly a decade. It gets used daily. First got it because my spouse had a knack for forgetting the stovetop tea kettle was on and burned it dry way too often, and now can’t imagine not having one. It’s great when you need to bring a large pot of water to a boil for something like pasta (of whatever shape), because it heats the water up much more quickly than the stove burner does.
Anon
Anyone else experience an anxiety spike reading that food thread this morning? OP of that thread, I hope you can get some help and find some good strategies to deal with it – these times are hard but anxiety makes it so much harder.
Looks like guidance on mask might be changing to recommend them for average people while out in public. I’ve been a critic of the current guidelines for a while (it was just nonsensical to say they don’t work, but that doctors desperately need them), but hopefully this doesn’t lead to even worse shortages for medical professionals. Clearly it’s a supply issue, not an efficacy issue, and supply should certainly be prioritized for hospital staff.
Panda Bear
+1 on masks – sure, it makes sense that wearing them would be useful, and I’d be very happy to wear them out and about, but not at the expense of medical staff (or for that matter, grocery store cashiers, or anyone else who still has to work out in public to help us all meet basic needs) getting them ahead of.
Panda Bear
*ahead of me
Anon
That wasn’t the messaging though. There’s evidence to suggest that widespread mask usage could have cut transmission, but I guess there probably wasn’t a way to encourage that and also reserve stock for doctors. I’m not sure what a better approach would have been.
Lyssa
The supply problem on masks (the basic fabric kind, not the N95 kind) is pretty easy to solve, though. They’re simple and can be made by hand, or by just about any manufacturer that works with fabric (like the Mypillow guy or Brooks Brothers).
The message I kept seeing was that they had a greater potential to be actually harmful (something about keeping the germs warm and close to you), which never made sense to me (because of healthcare), and appears to have been completely wrong.
MagicUnicorn
I think the harm was that people with no training on how to properly wear or remove a mask would feel a false sense of protection from having a mask on their face and would either be careless in use/removal or would touch their face more frequently because of the mask, thus increasing their chance of injecting themselves.
The change now seems to be society is finally acknowledging that there are far more asymptomatic carriers than we initially realized, so if everyone wears a mask, they are less likely to spread the virus to others (although the masks may still not prevent individual people from catching the virus).
Anon
It’s a totally different kind of mask. Doctors need N95 masks, which protect the wearer from other peoples germs, because their patients are shedding virus all over the place. People in Asia wear surgical masks which may protect the wearer from *spreading* germs but does not protect the wearer from being infected other people’s germs. However if everyone wears a surgical mask, it could cut down on transmission by stopping asymptomatic and presymptomatic people from spreading.
Anon
Doctors/nurses also need surgical masks. Any masks. We are getting pleas from local hospice care facilities and other medical-but-non-emergency/covid facilities that can’t get what they need.
I don’t disagree that everyone wearing a surgical mask may help, but I won’t take one until I know my ICU nurse sister has what she needs.
Anon
My issue with masks is that if not used appropriately they are worse than nothing, and most people don’t use them appropriately. I cringe every time I see people pulling their mask down to talk, messing with it with dirty hands, and touching their eyes/their face thinking “Well, I’ve got a mask on so this I’m safe.” Masks are really useful tools just please be conscientious as to why you’re wearing them–to prevent unknowingly spreading the virus to yourself or others. Every time you touch your mask, with dirty hands, you are putting whatever you were keeping on the outside of that mask in. If you touch the inside of your mask then touch other things without washing your hands then now you’re spreading what you were trying to keep in.
anon
This. It’s not that masks aren’t effective, it’s that they give people a false sense of security. The number of people I see walking around with masks, who then move them to talk on the phone, smoke a cigarette, whatever, after they just touched a bunch of things at the grocery store is almost comical. Especially because a lot of them touch the INSIDE of the mask to move it. Which is way worse than just touching your face once, because now germs are on the inside of the mask that is movign around your face. I also think if recommendations are given to start wearing masks we’ll see way more people out and about ALL THE TIME and not staying 6 feet apart because they will think its ok because they are wearing a mask.
anon
same is true for people wearing gloves btw.
JB
Yes and Yes. The way people use gloves is gross
Anon
Given the number of times I’ve been directly sneezed on or coughed on taking public transit (so gross!), I would still rather that those people and/or I had been wearing masks.
Anon
Totally! Masks are and always have been very effected and recommended as a way to stop a sick person from spreading germs. But I think most people view them as protective to themselves which given the way they are usually used isn’t 100% true
Anon
But people don’t wash their hands properly and we don’t say “welp okay, no one should wash hands then!” You can provide guidance on how to use masks effectively. They do help keep people from touching their faces and they also send a signal to others that it’s a serious situation.
anon
But this isnt’ like washing hands where even poor handwashing is better than no handwashing. Wearing masks wrong is literally worse than not wearing one. Based solely on observations over the past few weeks, more people wear them improperly than properly. The false sense of security is really concerning too. Like the guy I saw with his mask on touching everything in the grocery store and then adjusting his contact lens with his unwashed finger but I’m sure he felt that his mask was keeping him safe. I imagine he’d be more hyper aware of not touching his face without washing his hands especially in public if he wasn’t wearing a mask.
Anon
Honestly, I doubt it. I think he’d be touching his face either way. It’s something people do without any thought at all.
Anon
Yeah he’d be touching his face either way. That’s not an indictment of masks for everyone else.
anon
Eh I touch my face all the time but have been really vigilent about not doing it when I’m outside of my apartment and immediately washing my hands when I return. I still touch my face a lot but not in public because I’m hyper aware. If I had a mask on it would definitely decrease my hyper awareness.
Airplane.
No, OP’s responses it made it very clear she is experience a panic attack, completely irrational and needs to get some telemedicine help. She literally wrote “There.are.no.therapists.the.world.was.cancelled.” OP, I hope you get some help you need. If you can’t get some medical help ASAP, maybe your husband is in better mental shape and can go out to buy milk for your child and groceries for your family.
Fresh and shelf stable food is available at all the stores in my area. Stores have now enforced social distancing for in person shopping and contactless delivery has been readily available from grocery vendors. Wholesale vendors that normally only sell to restaurants have opened up to selling to households and delivery wholesale priced and wholesale quantities. Restaurants have been doing contactly delivery or curbside pickup.
It’s up to each person to decide about masks but I’m not going to go looking for one just for walking outside when medical professionals need them. I don’t go out in public other than to walk my dog or exercise during off hours so to me that is an OK risk to take. DH is still going in person to a store but I don’t think he’ll try to get a mask when we don’t have one on hand. Other who have to work or go out in public more than our household may decide differently.
Anonymous
At first, I was team “we don’t need masks”, and I recognize the very real and unacceptable medical shortage, but I finally bought an N95 mask on Amazon. It is supposed to arrive in a few days. I figure medical personnel aren’t buying single masks online, so I don’t think that is taking away from them. But I agree-if they need them for protection, then the masks are clearly advantageous.
I’ve only left the house twice in the last few weeks for groceries and pet food. I am running out of pet food now, so I will either need to leave to buy some or potentially order online. I’m researching online options-any recommendations?
Anna
Medical personnel are buying single masks online. They are buying every mask they can find, from any source, whether that’s Amazon, construction companies, asking neighbors to look for masks etc in their basements. I know this because my family member is a doctor and I have been scouring everywhere for masks. We are in a very hard hit area and medical workers are given 1 N95 mask for 2-3 days. Healthcare workers are particularly at risk because they are exposed to a much higher viral load seeing patient after patient than you or I on a brief run to the grocery store, if by chance we are exposed. So do whatever you want, but realize and think about what you’re doing.
An N95 mask is advantageous, but we are experiencing a real scarcity of them right now. Of course, N95 masks work – normal surgical masks help, but don’t work nearly as well. We all have to be strategic right now – you shouldn’t buy up all the toilet paper in the store because that’s not fair to everyone, and you shouldn’t buy up all the N95 masks because thats not fair to the hospital workers who are on the front lines of this issue. Doctors and nurses are falling sick and dying, and if they’re sick/dead, there’s no one (or not enough people) left to treat everyone else. I’m not being alarmist, this is the reality.
Anon
Stop. She bought one mask. She doesn’t have a warehouse full of them. I seriously can’t stand the “I’m more perfect than you” shaming that goes on around here.
I have four n-95 masks that I bought a couple of years ago for wildfire season, which is unfortunately a thing here in California. I offered them to my friend who is a traveling nurse, currently working in an ER setting. She said “save them for your family.” I haven’t used any of them but if one of us needs to go to the hospital, we’re going to use one.
Anon
Yeah..me too. I have a small pack of masks because my husband underwent nose surgery two years back and he didn’t want to go out during pollen season without a mask. We used some of them during that year’s horrible fire season. I am keeping them for any visit that I have to make to the hospital. I am also sewing some cloth ones for walking or grocery shopping.
Anonymous
Is there a reason you or your family member can’t also buy a single mask on Amazon?
Anonymous
If your vet sells pet food, check to see if they have any online ordering option. My vet’s office had to furlough two of the doctors and most of the staff since they’re only treating emergencies right now, so I want to support them as much as possible. Some of the local pet supplies stores in my area are offering curbside pickup, too. If neither of those works, there’s always Chewy.
Anon
They’re so desperate where I live that they are taking donations of single masks, including hand sewn ones that aren’t up to spec (but are better than nothing). Tens of thousands of masks were stolen from hospitals that didn’t anticipate that people would steal them to sell them online. Some hospitals are trying to get set up to sanitize the masks to reuse them more safely. PPE appears to be very effective at preventing transmission of this virus, so it’s awful to think about how much transmission in hospitals could have been prevented.
Monday
I notice the WaPo headline says “face coverings,” not masks. Maybe the CDC will recommend people cover their faces with other items to conserve masks for us (I’m hospital staff). I think I will take home the mask from my last shift this week and wear it to the grocery store even though it’ll be expired.
Bonafide
Won’t the outside of the mask already potentially be covered in germs? How can you & wear it safely?
Bonafide
How can you transport & wear it safely?
Monday
We only touch the ear strings, not the mask itself, and no one else will be able to touch it. I will already have been wearing it all day, and I’ll be the only one touching it.
Alanna of Trebond
I understand that your mask can be baked in the oven to sterilize. (Better to use the autoclave at your hospital).
Cbara
Bake your mask at 160F for 30 min. Don’t use alcohol or bleach. https://www.covid19ether.com/blog/c/0/i/43928911/n95-mask-can-be-decontaminated-without-decreasing-filtration-efficiency?fbclid=IwAR3gneC2CYY7SCq3YNIDXDi16sS9H5f8JT1ykoXhaHO_q8Qh6EinzrgiyHA
Carrie
Great reference!
But bake it where…. if you can’t use your home oven.
anon
That thread got really strange. I felt bad for the OP, whose anxiety was clearly spiralling out of control, but food supply is not what I’m particularly anxious about right now. We are spreading out our grocery runs and going much less often, but over the weekend, things in my area seemed well-stocked. Literally the only thing I had a hard time finding was flour. This seems to be true across the board in my area (middle of the country). The supply chain has slowed down but to say there’s “no food” is just outrageous. And I don’t have much sympathy for people who are going to complain and moan about having to buy regular ‘ol white pasta vs. whole wheat organic whatever. Unless you have a legit health issue like celiac disease, please get some freaking perspective.
After I left the store, I was extra vigilant about washing hands and wiping down anything I touched. I figure that’s best I can do. We still need food.
Will be interested to see how the mask discussion evolves.
Anon
Not OP, but I’m finding it stressful that there is STILL no toilet paper to be found. We haven’t been able to get other items either, but that’s the biggest necessity that has not once been in stock. It’s certainly anxiety-producing, although I’m glad we have enough food and have been mostly able to get what we need (if not everything we want).
Anon
Why is tp anxiety inducing though? If that’s the one thing? But Kleenex or baby wipes? Wet wipes? I just don’t have supply chain anxiety at this point…
Anon
Because I don’t want to buy wet wipes (which, incidentally, aren’t available either). I want to buy normal TP. That’s not hard to understand unless you’re trying to be obtuse.
Anonymous
TP may be its own enemy. Our store had a sale on 8-packs, which I prefer. They were gone. That left a size of 16 or, for a few dollars more, something like 25. So I bought a package of 25 in early March, before this all blew up. I wanted fewer due to closet constraints and I wasn’t going to leave with 0 and I left with an amount that looks huge in terms of empty shelf space. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. When TP comes back out, maybe 8-packs would be better than selling larger lots that can’t easily be broken down.
Anon
I have old plumbing. All of those thjngs would kill my plumbing and cause a blockage. Kleenex are far less flushable than TP and you can’t really find Kleenex in the stores either.
Anon
Not being able to get what you want from time to time is something we all just need to deal with. It is not the same thing as a supply chain breakdown and you can’t speak to Corona’s manager.
anon
I suspect people aren’t actually worried about how to live in a world without TP but the lack of TP is such a constant reminder of the complete lack of normalcy in the world right now. It’s a very basic thing that we are used to having so not having it available is a constant reminder of how not normal things are.
Anon
DON’T FLUSH THOSE THINGS! Regardless if you have old plumbing. Throw them in a garbage can. Sorry that’s inconvenient, but please don’t ruin your town’s sewage system because of it.
Anonymous
Yes, you use wet wipes or Kleenex and throw them in a waste basket. This is common in many parts of the world…don’t put them in your septic.
Ms B
Note: We resolved the pipe issues related to using Kleenex or wet wipes by pulling out the old Diaper Genie from where it was stored and putting it in the bathroom where the wipes now reside. Easy!
Anon
I think the problem is that it’s a self fulfilling prophecy at this point.Everyone seen empty isles or toilet paper is normally stocked, so whenever they see it in the store they purchase it regardless of whether they have an ample supply at home. So, I’m still hopeful that eventually the supply will level out. At some point people are going to realize they have a years worth of supply and stop buying
Vicky Austin
Yep, this is it.
Anon
It’s one thing for people with an “ample supply at home” to panic-buy more. That’s not the case most of us are in. I have seven rolls left and have not been able to get any more.
Housecounsel
Our Costco has TP. I also was able to order some from Walgreens.com.
Alanna of Trebond
I suggest buying a small measuring cup to wash your backside with water in lieu of toilet paper. It takes some getting used to, but it is much better for the environment!
Anonattorney
You can buy peri bottles or portable bidets on amazon (essentially squirt bottles that can be held upside down). If I run out of TP, I’ll just end up doing what I was doing post-partum – peri bottle followed by a soft cloth pat down that we can run through the washing machine.
LaurenB
+1. There is plenty of food in stores — it may just not be your very first choice. It may be pasta in a shape you normally don’t eat, or rice in a flavor that isn’t your favorite, or a different brand of salad dressing. The cereal aisles are still full, and there’s plenty of soup – it just may be different brands. As for produce, certain things are periodically out at times, but it’s not the end of the world if you have broccoli instead of cauliflower. Food supply chain issues aren’t problematic.
While our grocery stores are out of toilet paper here, Walgreens and CVS still have them, albeit at a premium. But since we’re all home anyway – so use Kleenex, or paper towels, or worst case a washcloth you throw into the laundry after use. I recognize this is harder for folks with small children.
Piper Dreamer
I grew up in an Asian country where masks are everywhere. People don’t think it is weird. It is very much appreciated. You wear masks when you are sick or have allergy. You wear masks if you use public transit a lot. You wear masks because you don’t want to get sick. Heck masks are so prevalent that a lot of people (including me) own a few fashion masks.
It was a cultural shock (not a good one) when I realized people don’t do it here. I had a mole removed on my mouth and wore a mask to work right after because I didn’t want to look like a chipmunk. Almost every single one of my coworkers teased me and some made a show to run away from me. Facepalm…
I mean, what is the cost? Sure it doesn’t work always but what is the downside of wearing one (other than medical people needing one)? If a country as big as China can get masks to everyone, why can’t the U.S. step up and do it? It is not like this is ventilator that requries high-tech. It is just masks….
Anonymous
Not the OP, so I don’t know how anxious she sounded. But I also think some of you are going off of experiences that aren’t true for others. My husband (over 60 with asthma) recently had pretty major survey and also has a chronic health condition where his is immunocompromised. I have pretty severe asthma. For his health primarily, we’ve decided that all food ordering is being delivered or with curbside pick up.It has been so HARD. There are simply no delivery times at the four grocery stores in our area. (My elderly mom about an hour away from us is seeing the same.) And when you finally do get through (after trying multiple times over several days), half of the items are cancelled or substituted. If I hadn’t grabbed a bunch of toilet paper that first week of March, I don’t know what we would be doing. Amazon has been a godsend at least. I know our supply chains are strong and things will catch up, so this will get easier. But I’ll admit, I’ve asked my husband to watch how many paper towels he is using because I don’t know where the next ones will come from. And all of you who keep saying, just go to the store–you’re literally risking a lot each and every time, and more so every time as folks who are sick grow frustrated with the difficulties of food access and go out as well. (Maybe this threat feels more real to me because I already know a handful of people directly and indirectly who have been tested positive and as well as two folks from my work building.) Yes, I know I can walk out the door and get food if I’m really desperate. But it’s still a gamble that’s hanging over my head that I can’t control who decides to be near me. And frankly it’s just weird when you get take-out food so easily while not being able to get things like eggs. I’ve never felt food insecure in any way until the last few weeks and I’m not an anxious person. But even I have to admit that it is very stressful, especially when you’re used to just picking up what you want whenever you want it. I’m actually glad to hear that it’s not a common experience. And I know this won’t be forever as stores start to catch up with delivery or pick up demand and the ordering fulfillment itself. But I also just say this because things really aren’t normal on the supply side at this minute for everyone. And not just with TP–with the orders I have been very fortunate to complete, so far about 1/3 or more items aren’t there or are substituted. Again, not going to starve by any means. But hugely frustrating. (On the plus side, not having Rice Krispies cereal helped me give myself permission to buy Rice Krispies treats. I’ll find a bright side to everything if I have to!)
Anon
OP from morning thread didn’t mention any circumstances that would make her or her family high risk. The only thing she mentioned is that they are under quarantine order due to potential exposure.
cbackson
The OP was in a full-blown anxiety spiral including stating her fear of violent intruders and her belief that people are probably physically fighting over groceries. It wasn’t a rational level of concern and was sad/disturbing to see.
anne-on
+1. I told my husband that shopping and seeing bare shelves/people panic buying was triggering my anxiety. But going back this week and seeing SO many more things on the shelves (chicken! carrots! herbs! pasta!) was actually super reassuring. It definitely made me feel like people are getting with the program and thing are slowly stabilizing.
Vicky Austin
I admire your attitude (Rice Krispies for the win!) and care for your husband and mom. Thank you for the perspective.
Anon
This is why I haven’t been ordering grocery delivery — I figure people like you need the limited delivery slots more than I do.
Also in my area restaurant supply companies are providing delivery to households for right now.
Anon
Yeah your situation is completely different.
LaurenB
Re paper towels. That’s the kind of thing that you really never need at all. Use dishtowels or rags. Simple substitute. That’s a definite “no need to panic” situation. A single roll of paper towels lasts over a year for me.
Anon
I feel like I’m always using paper towels to clean something completely vile. I used to use rags more, but I guess it felt different when I had my own washing facilities and just not the apartment complex’s laundry room?
Anon
Instead of saying that masks don’t help, the guidance should have been to use cloth masks ( can buy on etsy if you cannot sew) for general public and N95, surgical masks for professionals. They could have been transparent about the supply issues and the risk to medical professionals vs general public and justify the recommendation. They wouldn’t have to back track now and make themselves look untrustworthy. I did make a prototype mask last weekend. I will make and wear one before I go grocery shopping next time.
Anonymous
My anxiety didn’t spike but I am worried for her; I hope she spoke to her husband about what is going on in her mind so he can get her some help. I live in the NY/NJ/CT area, and we can find what we need in the stores except for Clorox or Lysol wipes. Maybe people are using these instead of toilet paper? A minus about living here is there are a lot of people, but the positive is there are multiple stores, all of which get restocked. We bought toilet paper at Stop & Shop just yesterday.
I don’t agree that people shouldn’t wear masks because they will do it wrong. If masks help, then people need to learn the best way to wear them to maximize protection. Really — most people in the US have exactly zero experience wearing a mask, so it’s crazy to think they know all the ins and outs. Clearly, no one should be using the masks that our healthcare workers need. Someone in my family is a fabulous seamstress, and she is working on making a few masks, using her existing supplies, for me to wear on mass transport (my job is essential) and for my 85 year old mother. I think this is OK, it’s a homemade mask that I’m going to wear properly just in case it adds any additional protection.
Anonymous
You can’t use Clorox wipes instead of toilet paper! They are for disinfecting nonporous surfaces, not your skin.
Anonymous
It was a joke.
Alanna of Trebond
For now, the FDA has not yet approved the use of KN95 masks (which are a slightly different standard from N95 masks, and allow in slightly larger particles than N95 masks), so I purchased a few of these yesterday for some upcoming medical visits. If they reduce transmission for people who absolutely must be outside for some reason, then I think it makes sense for individuals to purchase them.
Hopefully China will also provide 35,000 tons of protective gear for us in exchange for what we gave them back in February.
AIMS
I love my electric kettle! We’re currently away from home and it’s the thing I probably miss the most. I don’t think the gooseneck is at all necessary though, and I think not having one maybe makes it more useful (I sometimes use mine to boil water for cooking since it’s faster). But the best thing about it is never having to think ‘did I turn off the kettle?!’ which I used to do all the time before getting one. I wake up, turn it on go shower and come out to boiling water.
Great work from home suggestion!
anonshmanon
yeah, regular electric and stove-top kettles have a spout or a mouth that works perfectly well for ‘hitting those tea leaves’. This reminded me of the section of infomercials where consumers are shown failing at a basic task to demonstrate the urgent need for shiny new gadget.
Also, cranky side eye at ‘I used to place kettles on the stove top for decorative purposes, but replacing them instead of cleaning them’. Just no.
Anon
I noticed that too. I think there are two types of people in this world – people who buy new gadgets that offer a slight improvement to the old version and people who don’t unless there is a strong need that can’t be met by the old version. Kat is def the former. I also see this in my coworkers – one will upgrade to every single new iPhone there is, while another bought an iPhone 5 to upgrade from a flip phone and has kept it ever since.
Anon
I’m the person below. I got an electric kettle after I forgot my manual kettle heating on the stove for the umpteenth time and actually partially melted it. I think the electric kettle is a lot safer.
anon
+1 your last paragraph. Seriously horrifying, worst kind of disposable culture.
LaurenB
It’s a very gadgety mindset. I can’t imagine throwing out a perfectly fine tea kettle because it needed to be wiped down. At least give it to someone just setting up a household or whatever.
Anon
I have this actual teakettle and I love it. I use it at least twice daily.
Anon
Ps the gooseneck is great for control, like when you’re just trying to “bloom” the coffee grounds when making pour-over cups.
Anon
I need some advice about friendship (CW for domestic violence)
I have two male friends (Alex and Ben) from undergrad that I am pretty close to although we live in different cities. We have a perpetual group chat and talk multiple times a day. My ex-husband (Carl) was also close friends with them and part of the group chat until recently.
A few months ago, Carl tried to murder me. Turns out he had been lying and faking some pretty significant things (like employment, mental health issues, etc.) and his plan to deal with that was to fake my suicide, garner the sympathy of our loved ones, and restart his life while everyone was distracted. I got away from him and took all the recommended legal/relationship/safety steps immediately.
Alex and Ben were some of the first people I reached out to when all of that went down, and they were devastated and very supportive. Alex and Carl had been messaging back and forth a lot, and Alex provided me with some screenshots of Carl telling him I was depressed, having night terrors, etc. (all lies, presumably to make my fake suicide seem more believable) to use as evidence in the restraining order hearing. Alex was worried Carl would retaliate against him/his family, but said he was going to help me because it was the right thing to do.
Carl had been using an old laptop of mine before all of this went down, so I decided to look through it to try to gain some clarity about the whole situation. I found a group chat between Alex, Ben, and Carl where Carl was bragging about day drinking, driving drunk, vaping, and sharing the details of our sex life. I had suspected that Carl had a drinking problem (I even bought a breathalyzer to use before driving home from parties because I didn’t trust his judgment), but he vehemently denied it and gaslit me every time I noticed that alcohol seemed to be disappearing. He had also assured me that he would never discuss our sex life with anyone, but there he was describing my size and performance to our friends!
There were also comments by all three of them making objectifying and reductive sexual comments about mutual female friends. Alex alluded a few times to how attractive teenagers are and Ben shared a topless nude of someone he was hooking up with without her consent. They made comments a few times about ensuring they were in the “right chat” (meaning the one I’m not in), so they clearly were creating a space where they wouldn’t be judged or called out for their bad behavior.
I fully expect the responses to this to tell me to get therapy (I was about to start in person therapy that’s now delayed due to covid-19, so I’m pursuing tele-therapy through my EAP) and that these people are not the sort of friends I want to have. I know that’s probably true, but it sucks so much to lose my two closest friends and my husband while isolated because of covid-19. There was so much I enjoyed about our friendship, especially having people to talk to all the time.
If you were me, what would you do? Ghost? Stay friends with them in a limited manner? Confront them? Part of me really wants to stay friends with them and shrug this off because they’re not responsible for Carl’s actions (nor did they know he was lying to me about drinking) and we have so much history.
Anonymous
Oh honey I’m so sorry but if this is even a little bit true no you absolutely cannot be friends with A and B who happily discussed your intimacy with your attempted murderer. That fact is so glaringly obvious it makes me assume this is made up
Anon
What the actual f*ck did I just read? OP, I’m so sorry that this happened, but the only answer is to immediately ghost all of them. There is no other option.
Anon
+100 You need trustworthy people in your life. I’m not sure any of the three of them qualify.
Please stay safe. I’m so sorry this happened. I sincerely hope your husband is facing justice for his attempt against your life.
Vicky Austin
+100. Jesus Hector Christ, OP, I am so sorry, but they need to all be in your rearview mirror.
Anon
I feel like lots of people are going to have opinions about this, but it is truly, truly above the pay grade of any anonymous internet commenters. I’m glad you are safe and I’m so sorry you went through this.
anon
OP, I am so sorry but you need new friends that truly have your back that you can trust. It is time to set boundaries with Alex and Ben for your own mental health and safety. Please look out for yourself and do not ‘shrug this off’.
The Original ...
I would work on my self-worth and restart my life. Anyone who behaves in a way that supports sharing those kinds of photos of a woman without her consent, anyone who discusses attraction to minors and who doesn’t check their friend for these behaviors is not only not a good friend, they aren’t safe to be around, especially for someone who is going to need lots of support and lots of time to learn to trust her judgment about men and to trust her judgment in general again (common after being gas lit OR being a victim of this sort of situation, almost guaranteed for someone who experienced both). You may not feel that you deserve better and you may not realize that they are toxic, especially during this covid time, but you DO and you ARE. I’m not sure where you are but I’d be happy to be a new friend, post an email and we can be penpals for now!
Annony
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think this … not real? If my husband were going to discuss intimate details with someone, my (I am a woman) “size and performance” would not be words he used. “Enthusiasm and volume” perhaps.
Anon
Yeah, that struck me too. “Size” means what…bre*st size? That’s pretty obvious to anyone who’s ever met you in person. “Size” with respect to intimacy is definitely a male thing.
Anon
Not necessarily. I’m not sure this is real either, but I’ve definitely heard of women being described as tight or loose. I consider that “size.”
Vicky Austin
It struck me too, but could it be a euphemism? Male terminology being used as a blanket (because nobody wants to bother figuring out what the female equivalent would be)?
Anon
OP here. Thanks for the gut check. I kind of figured that would be the answer, but it all sucks. I guess it’s better to know and break it off than to not and wait for something worse to happen.
Unfortunately, this isn’t made up. I wish it were or that all of 2020 was just some kind of freak fever dream, but here we are.
“Size”, unfortunately, referred to tightness. I was trying to figure out words that wouldn’t get me stuck in mod.
No Longer Anon
I’m so sorry- and, although I see what people meant about it being weird phrasing, I’m so sorry you had to explain what that term meant.
I know these people are a support system to you, but they are not your friends. Friends don’t talk about friends like they talked about you. I would, as hard as I know it will be, block them all, ASAP. You don’t owe them an excuse, a lie, or anything else. They do not deserve a single second more of your attention or care. Do you have others who you can lean on? Even people you aren’t very close to? When I blocked an abusive partner, I ended up without very many friends because he took them all. I leaned on people I wasn’t necessarily close to to get me through the most difficult time afterwards. I’m not close with them now, it didn’t create some sort of long term bond, but allowing people to help got me through the worst of it.
My therapist also helped, a lot.
I’m so sorry. I feel pretty confident that this group of women could be your people to lean on when you need support. If you want to post a burner email,I know women here would reach out.
sending love.
Anon
Yes we would! Please consider posting it if you need it. I would be happy to reach out.
Anon
Im sorry for questioning you. I should have realized that size could be a euphemism for tightness.
Vicky Austin
OP, I am so sorry you had to live through that BS, but I’m very glad you did. And I apologize for insensitively questioning your phrasing. Thank you for being brave enough to ask for help. Take good care of yourself and stick around.
Anon
I read here almost daily and I recall someone mentioning her husband had tried to kill her. It was mentioned as part of advising someone else to leave a potentially abusive relationship. I think it may be true.
Anon
Same.
Anonymous
I am so sorry you had this experience. I’m glad you are now safe. That’s an important victory to celebrate. It is hard for me to understand why your friends would talk like this about you. I would cut off contact with them. Feel free to make up an excuse or outright lie because these folks don’t deserve your honesty.
Maybe use this quarantine as a blessing in disguise. You can tell them you’re limiting your check ins and focusing on yourself with meditation/mindfulness and you’re limiting phone time due to anxiety about being constantly updated. Or whatever.
Anonymous
I have mutual friends with my husband. I wouldn’t talk about intimate issues with them. That is a breach of trust and confidence all around. These people don’t deserve your friendship.
LaurenB
Did I stumble into AITA on Reddit? OMG, get this trash out of your life and now.
Anonymous
You guys, I’ve never run as an adult but I’m going to start (slowly). Youngest kid is 9 months and I have been pretty sedentary lately, though have been active/athletic other times in my life.
It’s ridiculous, but I feel nervous about this! Not the actual running part (planning on just giving myself a period of time and start running/walking slowly), but, like, will I look silly? Do I run in the street or sidewalks? How do I go around people? What if I don’t know what to do? What do I do with poop bags for my dog?
Words of encouragement or advice welcome!
Anonymous
Youll be great!! I highly recommend starting slowly very slowly. Alternate running and walking as much as you need to. Run on sidewalks, stay to the right, and you’ll do great.
Anon
Just go run. You are WAY overthinking this! Obviously you don’t run in the street with cars – you didn’t need me to tell you that. Go today and figure it out!
Anonymous
You tie the poop bags onto the leash and dispose in proper receptacle when you are done
Quail
Yay! I just started running as an adult, too. My thoughts – 1) do not worry about looking silly. No one is watching you. 2) run on sidewalks unless you need to run in the street for social distancing. I’ve been running in the street to avoid families with strollers, etc. Obviously look first and don’t just dart into the street. 3) just try to give people space when passing – before I would give like 3 feet but now I go in the street. If you don’t know what to do, just stop and wait, and then start again, or walk. 4) I don’t have a dog, but when you are just starting I would not try to run with the dog. Dogs want to stop and sniff things. I might guess you have to train a dog to run? Someone with a dog might know?
You can do it!
Vicky Austin
If I’m running and my dog wants to stop and sniff something, I’m gonna take that opportunity for a break! ;)
YMMV (quite literally).
Vicky Austin
You can shout “on your left” to go around people; they appreciate it!
Jane
I’ve been running for 15 years (I’m now 40). And most of the time, I run/walk because it feels better to my body. I’d say I do about 90% running and 10% walking. When I started running, I did about 50/50 and have done different percentages depending on what stage of life I am in. You’ll find neighborhood runners are friendly people. We do a kinda peace sign, two-finger wave at one another or say “good morning” as we pass in opposite directions. As I run early in the morning, I rarely either pass someone going the same direction or am passed because there are so few people out. I prefer to run in the street, but a lot of people prefer the sidewalk. There isn’t a right way to do this. Just go outside and do what feels good today for your body. And, with that, you will have become a runner.
My suggestions are to make sure you have good shoes (not some random pair from the back of the closet that you liked in high school), a supportive running br@, and lights on your person if you’re running in the dark. Stretch when you get home. Let someone know when you are leaving, your approximate route, and when you’ll be home for basic safety.
Anon
Just go run. I’d start without your dog at first, just because even if they jog on a totally loose lead, your body will still be twisted ever so slightly and become sore in weird ways.
I’ve been a runner for 20 years. Occasionally fastish, often not. I’ll never be one of those people who make it look easy and I’ll never ever look good doing it. But I do it anyway.
Walk/run at first and do whatever works for you. That’s the beauty of running.
Anonymous
Highly, highly recommend the Couch to 5k program.
BB
Take it SLOW! And also listen to your body if things start to hurt. I started running 2 years ago and got way too into it way too fast. Then I basically injured my hip from running too much (I had other cardio exercise that gave me a false sense of how much my legs could handle because hey, I was barely out of breath so I’ll just ignore the massive shin split pain in my legs). Couch to 5K is a good way to start.
CountC
Good for you! Lots of good advice already. If you decide to run in the street (it’s my preference in residential areas beacuse our sidewalks are a mess) PLEASE run in the opposite direction of traffic (aka into traffic). Drivers can see you more easily and you don’t have to worry about getting swiped in the back by someone who doesn’t see you. I try to always wear bright clothing if I am running anywhere there might be cars. I also do not suggest running with headphones or at least only run with one ear bud – you need to be aware of the sounds going on around you for safety. Happy running!
Anon
Fwiw…
In Chicago and our food supply chain has been robust and uninterrupted. We also have a neighborhood email chain where people post if they need flour, yeast, TP, etc and all asks have been answered. No problems so far, and I have loved seeing people help each other out.
David Lat is on the up and up, for those who were following that story.
I personally know two different families where the mom has tested positive with mild symptoms and has not spread it to her spouse or young children in the house (and wasn’t self quarantined prior to testing positive). There is something to the viral load/transmission rate that was discussed earlier.
Some of our governors and local officials are really stepping up to this challenge, and make me more hopeful overall for the future of politics in this country.
The Abbott rapid test is going to be a game changer in many ways but I think will help healthcare in particular immensely, as it will allow doctors to truly sort covid from non-covid patients and allow non-covid care and procedures to resume in some fashion sooner rather than later.
Anon
Yeah, I’m very optimistic that the rapid test rollout will help a lot.
Anon
Thank you for these updates. I also read that they’ve started using an antibody test to identify people who have already had the virus as potential plasma donors.
Ribena
I’m looking forward to the antibody test. I know a lot of people who think they’ve had it but can’t be sure and it would be good to know.
anon
+1 I’m in New York and suspect this has been floating around for weeks before it was all over the news. It’d be really helpful to know if a bunch of people already had it and then could start resuming some normalcy
Anon
Yes, within a month when both of these tests are really rolling we’re going to be in a much better position. The numbers of cases and fatalities will continue to rise in the interim, but once we have the tools in place I think progress will happen quickly. Science is amazing!
Vicky Austin
That testing news is really great and I’m hopeful. Thank you for this!
Anon
I love my electric tea kettle and I especially love that it has different temperature settings. I boil for my tea every morning and then I also use it to heat up water to do dishes.
Vicky Austin
I boil water in the kettle and then pour it into the pasta pot when I don’t want to wait for our cranky old stove! :)
AIMS
It’s also great for disinfecting things quickly and easily. I used to use mine for sterilizing bottled and parts when my kids wee babies, I still use it to disinfect new water bottles/parts, and now I boil water to use on top of any produce we will eat raw like apples etc.
Vicky Austin
Ooh, smart!
Anon
As in you put the bottles and pump parts straight in the kettle?
AIMS
No, I clean the parts with soap and water and then dump them into either a big Pyrex cup or some kind of bowl and pour boiling water on top. I empty it after 5-10 min and let air dry.
Anon
Ah ok, thanks for the clarification and glad I didn’t try it without checking back!
anon
I left my electric kettle in my office and this is making me miss it. But I don’t mind my walks to the kettle-on-the-stove in my kitchen as a break.
I drink a lot of tea.
Anon
I’ll make another plug for the Zojirushi water boiler that I got a few months ago. It is amazing and I use it no less than 10 times a day with my husband closely behind. We drink a lot of french press coffee, tea, make instant oatmeal for breakfast every day and often make make instant soup for lunch. I love being able to thaw and blanch frozen vegetables for dinner in seconds. I also use the hot water to disinfect dish brushes and, ahem, menstrual cups. I do wish it was easier to use for soup with some kind of a fast-flow dispenser – as it is, I have to hold the button down for a while to fill up a pot and I don’t want to scald myself by just tipping the whole thing (it holds a LOT of water). So, so useful.