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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I was intrigued to see that eShakti now offers customizable pants (and jumpsuits!). You can put in your own custom measurements, as well as add belt loops, remove pockets, and change the length — wonderful. The pictured pants are twill (they also offer ponte and crêpe pants); I also like that they're machine washable. They're $52.95. eShakti Stretch Twill Ankle Pants
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(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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Paging HM
What kind of dogs and how well behaved are they? my parents are in Dallas, and we lost our 90+ lb dog about a year ago. They *might* be willing. I would have to talk to them about it. When would you leave for Houston? Also do they get along with cats and other dogs? I have a cat that I occasionally have to drop off with them and my brother is getting a dog soonish that would come home with him for Christmas.. This is obviously a long shot, but I feel for your situation.
Asideralis
I now have Newfoundland, and she is very well behaved. But, she’s only 10 weeks old now. My last dog had to be put down, and it was brutal. He was a terrier-mix of some kind, and I was torn apart by this. He was very well trained, but poorly behaved. He had fear based aggression due to a neurological issue. I will fully admit that I’ll never be able to own another terrier-based breed.
My mum has an 11 year-old lab-pit mix who is a doll. She’s well-behaved except when on walks near other dogs. She has been attacked by five dogs who were loose and “friendly”, so now she’s terrified of them.
We’ve had a lot of Weimaraners in the past, and they’re lovely but super annoying. Ugh. Very strong willed and intelligent. The last Newfoundland we had was wonderfully lazy.
HM
Thanks so much! I never expected to even get a potential offer when I posted yesterday! If we go to Houston, it would be late July, most likely, through… February?
Our pups are a full white lab (3 years old), and a black lab/hound mix (4 years old). The black mix loves all animals and people. The white lab is our special snowflake — so far, she’s done ok with all dogs we’ve introduced her to (labs, bichon frise, golden retrievers) but she’s had much less socialization because she gets anxious (think whining and high pitched bark in new situations until she feels comfortable). That said, she’s gone to doggie daycare a few times without issue.
We have no idea about cats, but I would think they would be fine. Neither dog has ever shown aggression (we’ve trained them with lots of hands on, both with food and toys, etc.), but they do get rowdy playing with each other. They are so gentle and respectful of our 14 month old.
Wow, I am blown away by this community and its thoughtfulness!
Anonymous
Do you want to email me at emailmeherehm at gmail (dot) com? That way I can get some more information from you?
HM
email sent!
Anon for Medical Stuff
I had an abnormal pap and now have to get a colposcopy. The nurse stressed that it is likely nothing but Im having trouble letting that sink in. I couldn’t get an appointment for 3 weeks and I’m having trouble focusing on anything else. Not sure what I’m looking for here. Just a little freaked out.
Asideralis
*hugs* The statistics are on your side. I’ve had an abnormal pap before, and it ended up being nothing. And, pap smears are just like check ups! They are there to catch anything dangerous early on, before it could get really bad. So, if it does end up being something, you’ve likely caught it early enough to mitigate it.
Idea
Very normal to have abnormal pap, even when you’re young. Mine was at age 25, they tested again 3 months later, said that was standard at the time (10 years ago) and it was nothing – I guess the new scan was normal? So I got a label, or that 1 smear/scan got a label of ‘abnormal with no known cause’. Seriously. That’s what it’s called. So, totally normal to be abnormal.
mascot
Had an abnormal pap, followed by colposcopy – all turned out to be nothing . That was over a decade ago and my paps have been normal ever since. My impression (from friends and my doctors) is that this is pretty common.
ANP
+1. This was my exact experience, but I definitely had some stress while it was all going down. Try not to worry…and good luck!
CountC
This times two (as in it’s happened to me twice). I’m on the every 7 years or so schedule. It’s always turned out to be okay! :)
kc
It’s pretty common. I had 2 colposcopies, and then the HPV resolved itself on its own. It’s almost always nothing to worry about, and even if it is, that’s why you get paps–to catch things early on!! Something like 85% of people get HPV nowadays, so abnormal paps are increasingly common even though people almost always heal themselves. It’s actually why they recommend not doing paps as often because they are leading to a lot of unnecessary colpos.
Anon
I (as well as my mom, sister, and many of my friends) have had these. Please try not to stress, they are actually fairly common. Also the reason why, if I have daughters, they will be getting that HPV vaccine as soon as humanly possible.
Jennifer
It’s approved for boys too, if I recall?
Anon for Medical Stuff
Thanks for all the reassurance. I think I’m extra nervous because my mom had a hysterectomy in her 40s but I don’t know why and can’t find out I feel like I just have this bad gyn history hanging over my head.
For those who have had one, does it hurt much?
HSAL
I won’t pretend it doesn’t suck. The colposcopy itself isn’t that bad (similar to a pap) but if they do a cervical biopsy (which my sense is they do most of the time, especially if the abnormal cells are due to HPV), it’s painful, but it’s very brief. They may recommend taking some ibuprofen ahead of time. I had cramping the rest of the day, so I wouldn’t plan on going back to work.
anonymous
Just FYI I had a colposcopy about 13 years ago, after my first child. It was like a really big pinch – kind of unpleasant but very, very, very quick.
I ultimately ended up needing to have a cone biopsy – performed as day surgery under anesthesia – to remove the problem area. I went on to have a second successful pregnancy and have had no other issues other than I follow the recommendation to have an annual pap test as opposed to waiting 3 years between.
I guess I want to say that even if the colposcopy reveals you might need some further treatment, the great likelihood is that everything will resolve favourably. Early screening and detection is fantastically successful in this area. Don’t worry- just take some ibuprofen, and the day off, and congratulate yourself on taking such good care of your health!
Anon for Medical Stuff
Thank you both. That is helpful. I’ll plan on taking the rest of the day off after it.
Anon
I had one done in college and had a friend come with me, because I didn’t know how comfortable I would feel driving after. It turned out to be fine and I agree with everyone above re: recommendations, but don’t be afraid to ask for help if you want a friendly face there. My grandmother died of ovarian cancer and my mom had breast cancer, so I understand where you are coming from, but mine also turned out to be nothing.
la vie en bleu
It was like a longer, unpleasant pap smear. I definitely did not love it, but it was not anywhere near as bad as I had built it up to be in my head. I had a friend drive me, just so I wouldn’t have to drive, and so I would have someone to distract me while I was waiting ;o) and I went home and to bed. Had a bit of cramping for the rest of the day, but mine also turned out to be fine. So, you will be okay!! Even if it does turn out to be something, you are catching it early, it will probably be easy to treat and take care of quickly.
lurky-loo
Argh, hit report instead of reply.
I would describe the colposcopy/cervical biopsy I had recently as the unpleasantness of a pap smear combined with the worst cramps I’ve ever had. It took me a couple minutes to recover when she was done, and then I had to sit in the RN’s office for about ten minutes while she fed me crackers and apple juice because I was so shaky. But the pain was pretty much gone by the time I got in my car, and I went to work afterwards and was perfectly fine. (And there turned out to be nothing to worry about, so yay.)
Parfait
I have had it done twice. The first time hurt like hell, but I blame the practitioner. She had a terrible bedside manner – very cold and mean – and kept yelling at me to RELAX!!!!! I sat in the waiting room and cried for a while before driving home. I wish someone had brought me crackers and juice! The second time was a comparative breeze. Like a longer, pokier pap smear, as la vie en bleu said. I told the nice lady how awful my previous experience had been, and she was extra kind and gentle.
Neither time was there anything to be concerned about on the results. You will be fine.
Meg Murry
I love this idea in theory, but I’d be nervous that after taking all the measurements the pants still wouldn’t be quite what I wanted (for instance, if I wanted them to fit looser in the hips or seat than my measurements). It’s also unclear to me whether the inseam/outseam I would want to submit is actually to my ankle, as the measuring pictures show, or to the length of the pant I actually want – but I suppose I could contact customer service about that first before ordering. I’m also really picky about pockets, my try on routine involves putting my phone and wallet in the pockets, then sitting down and standing up to make sure my stuff isn’t falling out. I think what I actually need is to be able to say “these are my favorite pants but I need one more inch here” to a seamstress and have her otherwise copy them.
I wish they offered up some “typical” measurements as compared to size charts, so I could know if my measurements are way out of whack or a typo as well.
The other annoying thing is that the pants are only available in a custom size – but they charge a $7.50 customization fee still. There was a popup for $40 off my first order though, so that’s tempting.
la vie en bleu
yeah, I was having the same thought. I guess you could maybe measure a pair of pants you have already and use those measurements?
I have to say, I am more temped by the ponte pants than the other fabrics.
NYC this weekend
Hi all,
A couple girlfriends and I will be in NYC Saturday evening and Sunday this weekend – we’re staying by 42nd St. I’m trying to figure out things to do – thinking brunch and Highline (sp?) Park on Sunday, what are your favorite recommendations for NYC?
Any ideas specifically for nice bars/lounges for Sat night and brunch on Sun would be super helpful as well!! Thank you!
Ellen
Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and these pant’s! I would love to get a pair of pant’s that are tight in the leg’s but somehow MINIMISE the size of my tuchus. Even tho alot of men love women with big shelve’s, I prefer to have a tuchus like Rosa’s tuchus. Unfortuneately, it is hard to be curvey up top and NOT have a tuchus, and I DO love being curvey up top. I supose that is the price I have to pay for being atractive, tho Rosa is even more attractive and she has had 3 kid’s already! FOOEY! Dad says if I ever have 3 kid’s they will have to post a sign on my tuchus saying “WIDE LOAD-DO NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT”. FOOEY on dad b/c he has NO tuchus at all. If he ever needed a tuchus transplant, I supose I would be the first one they would ask. DOUBEL FOOEY!
As for the OP, there are alot of places to see and do near 42nd street. If your on the East Side, near Grand Central, there are alot of places to eat in the station, like Junior’s, Mendy’s, Chines, and alot of other ethnick places. If you want to eat more food, you can go up to Spark’s Steak House, where they have meat. The highline is down on the west side a bit, you can walk there and get alot of step’s in. If you do go, I recomend stopping at the Standard Hotel down near the end, where alot of movie star’s stay. I would NOT make a big deal out of the Park (which is uptown, tho you could go to Time Warner Center and have a lot of good places to eat). Do NOT ask the conceirge at your hotel for recomendation’s b/c he get’s a cut for every schmoe he sends to these places. You should consider goeing to the TOP OF THE ROCK if the weather is nice, b/c you can see alot (that is around 50th Street), or you could go down to the Empire State Building (34th and 5th) where alot of romantic movies were shot on the observeation deck. You can also go to LORD AND TAYLOR 37th and 5th, where I shop all the time, or go over to 34rd and 7th Herald’s Square, where there is Macy’s.
You can have a great time and mabye meet guy’s in bar’s but be carful NOT to go home with any of them b/c most will just want to have sex with you. If you want that, OK, but I warn you, they will NOT want to talk with you after you are done with their winkie’s. They will not marry you. FOOEY! NYC men are known for that. FOOEY on men that dump us after we have serviced them, and do NOT attend to our need’s and wan’ts. FOOEY!
AIMS
West 42nd or east?
Anon in NYC
+1. Also, what kind of atmosphere are you looking for on Saturday night (club, wine bar, cocktails, dive)? And do you want to stay in your neighborhood?
I like the Campbell Apartment inside Grand Central for cocktails. It’s obviously very centrally located, but I wouldn’t recommend it for barhopping (I’m failing to come up with other places I would go to afterwards) or if you wanted to stay on the west side.
For brunch, a good place to try could be Cookshop. It’s very close to Chelsea Market and the Highline (10th Ave & 20th St.), so you can walk the Highline afterwards. You’ll want to make reservations.
NYNY
Barbuto in the West Village is an Italian place not far from the High Line, and if the weather is nice, they open the walls. They have brunch, the food is delicious, and it’s great people-watching.
As to other recs, what are you looking for? Give us a little more sense of what you and your friends are seeking as to price, type of venue, neighborhood, type of crowd.
shoe bite, cont.
To the poster who posted about “shoe bite” earlier this week, you are not alone! I have gone through three new pairs of flats that completely destroyed my feet (and seemed fine while I wore them at home).
Curious – for those of you who walk more than 10-15 minutes to get to work, what do you typically wear to commute? I’m starting to think I may have to become the woman who commutes in her running shoes.
Ergonomics in DC?
I walk 25 minutes in the morning and have terrible feet, so I have accepted that I will be wearing non-cute shoes. Depending on the weather, I wear sneakers (black, low profile, not bright running shoes), Keen Mary Janes, or Trotters ankle boots. I used to wear Dansko clogs, which are great for longer pants, but I kept turning my ankles in them.
new anon
+1 on the clogs. I’ll walk all over my pants if I commute in flats, and clogs and running shoes are the only solutions I’ve found (though I’m interested in hearing how others deal with it).
Emmabean
I only walk about 10 minutes, but I wear Toms. I bought black ones specifically for walking to work, and they fit my feet really well. I live in Texas so can wear them year round.
Boston Legal Eagle
+1 Love my Toms for commuting – I have several different colors and even wear them while at work sometimes (jeans are ok at my office).
shoe bite, cont.
Do you find Toms to be supportive? I’ve never tried them. Maybe they’d work for me with inserts!
Sydney Bristow
I wear the Lands End Gatas slip ins that are similar to Toms. Mine are wearing out though and I don’t like the current colors. I think I’ll try Toms next.
Baconpancakes
My commute is 1.3 miles each way, and I wear Clarks ballet flats, occasionally Cole Haan Air Nike flats (RIP), had a pair of Keens black Mary Janes with a strap until the strap broke, flat riding-style boots, some cute ikat-printed Keds, and Clarks ankle boots (1 inch heel). Thanks to what’s apparently now “normcore” style, I just ordered some vintage style navy New Balance sneakers, and I intend to rock those on the way to work with my statement necklace and pencil skirt styles, and forget the haters.
A good friend of mine, however, wears straight-up neon running shoes to commute, and I do think she looks ridiculous. Also, commuting will tear through your running shoes, and you want to keep those in the best shape possible to protect your feet and knees when you actually are running. It’s definitely worth it to buy a separate pair of commuting shoes.
Anonymous
I bought a pair of my running shoes just for commuting (and I look completely absurd). But my feet were seriously in pain to the point where I could barely walk from other shoes. At some point practicality has to win.
Neon Feet = Happy Feet
I wear my purple and orange running shoes for commuting. I don’t care about the haters, since I can just sprint right past them. I bought the shoes for commuting, and they make me smile in the morning when I put them on.
Shayla
Although you think your friend looks ridiculous, I bet her feet/ankles/legs/back feel great.
I used to commute in a pair of Merrell mary janes with enough tracking for (light) hiking. I wore holes through the soles and sides, and have not found a comparable pair since. Though, these are on sale… http://www.merrell.com/US/en/avesso/16397W.html?dwvar_16397W_color=J69486#cgid=women-footwear-slip-ons&start=1 (Avesso)
Parfait
Man, I used to have a pair of eggplant purple Merrell mary janes that I just LOVED to death. Shaped more or less like this one, but in a solid color suede instead of the multicolored mesh.
http://www.merrell.com/US/en/all-out-bold/17255W.html?
I still mourn those shoes. They were so great. I might have to get those Avessos in purple just to see if they can fill that space in my shoe wardrobe.
Anonymous
Nothing like calling a good friend ridiculous looking for walking in comfortable shoes! Snaps for judgy peeps
Idea
As someone who walks in comfortable shoes, I’d rather be ridiculous-looking, even from a friend, than uncomfortable.
#thanksbunions #andheelspurs
Baconpancakes
I’m sure I also do tons of stuff that looks ridiculous, but since my friends and I don’t let our fashion choices or personal fashion preferences color whether we value a person as a friend and good person, and we were raised to not be rude and say that kind of thing out loud, it doesn’t really bother me. I also pointed out I just bought into the “normcore” vintage New Balance style, and I’m sure people will think I look ridiculous, but I think they look cute, so I don’t care what they think. Would it hurt if someone made fun of me out loud? Sure. That’s why I wouldn’t ever say to my friend that I think her pink and green Nikes look ridiculous with white ankle socks, a pencil skirt, and a button-down.
But let’s be honest, commenters here do care what we look like over how comfortable we are. Otherwise, why would anyone ever wear anything other than sneakers? Why would the OP even want alternative ideas? Ideally, we’d prefer a compromise of comfort AND cute shoes – thus the recs for Keens, Merrels, Keds, and Clarks through the thread.
tesyaa
Try Clarks – I’ve had several pairs and they’ve all been comfortable for walking.
EB
I walk 45 min in a varying climate each way. Winter – hunters with wool socks or sorels (if really, really cold). Keds the rest of the time.
Anonymous
I commute in converse in the fall, birkenstocks in the summer, and huters or sorels in the winter. In the spring, hunters if it’s rainy, otherwise converse or birkenstocks, depending on the weather.
caf
I finally started wearing gym shoes after years of trying to find “the commuting shoe”. Takes a little bit of getting used to the ugly of it, but at the end of the day, I’m tired of messing up my feet/knees. Sometimes birks in the summer or a pair of keen boots when its snowy/cold.
anon
I walk every single day; it totals to about 2 miles on commute alone. Unless I am wearing snow or rain boots, I wear straight up Nike running shoes every day. The Nike Free are not enough for me to run in, but perfect for walking that distance in. Never any pain, and I get to power walk. With black tights (I’m a skirt and dress wearer) I favor black ones, but in the summer I’ll wear white, red, purple, gray, whatever!
Amy H.
Running shoes all the way. My preferred commute is to walk the 2.2 miles each way. I wear my regular running shoes but also wear yoga pants or hiking pants for the commute and change into my work trousers at the office. (I bring the pants each morning but leave all my work shoes at the office.)
anonsg
I wear flats – got them at Payless, very comfy. Only one day of “shoe bite” – fixed with a bandaid (i keep a bunch of the waterproof types at work and at home because they have the adhesive that goes all the way around the entire bandaged portion so it won’t rub off your foot) and next day was all good.
Ergonomics in DC?
Ladies of the DC metro area:
Have you ever hired someone to come to your office to do an ergonomic assessment? How did that work? How much did it cost? Do you have someone you recommend? I work for the government, so if I want this done, I will need to do it myself, and I think my work station is slowly crippling me.
Anon
What’s your issue? If it’s sitting all day, would a standing desk help? Those can be inexpensive.
If it’s your wrists, an assessment sounds good.
Ergonomics in DC?
It’s both. I’ve had upper back/neck issues which have been helped by seeing a chiropractor. I’ve asked for a standing desk, but given the pace of my agency that could take until retirement to receive. I’m also having pain and numbness in my hands and wrists. I’m playing around with positioning of my keyboard and switched to a trackball mouse (which I purchased for myself – not worth the red tape hassle) but it occurred to me that I might benefit from talking to someone with actual expertise.
brokentoe
Please go see someone besides a chiropractor to get to the root of your pain and numbness – these could be very serious warning signs you should not leave to just a change in ergonomics. I suffered the same symptoms – no injury but in retrospect, I believe was exacerbated by a bad ergonomic situation (so please try and fix that as well, but by now the damage has likely been done). I wound up having degenerative spinal issues (I was 40 but the neurosurgeon said I had the spine of a 55 YO) that spiraled over a few months into intense pain and inability to even make my bed. I had a cervical fusion that returned me to the land of the living. What actually scared me into going ahead with the surgery (which I do not regret for an instant) was the warning that with my spinal issues, a trip down a few stairs or a jolt from a minor fender-bender could leave me with severe and lasting injuries. I hope this doesn’t turn out to be your issues, but you don’t want to mess around with your neck and spine.
Batgirl
What kind of specialist did you see for this?
brokentoe
I inadvertently started with my internist – was visiting for another matter and casually mentioned that I was feeling numbness in my hands. She sent me for an MRI and I visited with 2 neurosurgeons after that.
Blonde Lawyer
I have represented clients in the situation you describe. Minor fender bender with severe and lasting injuries because of pre-ex degeneration. So hard to prove and to convince the insurance company to pay a fair settlement. Your post reminded me I want to research some med journals about this to have on hand when the situations arise again. Thanks for the reminder and I’m glad to hear you are doing well now.
Coach Laura
I’m not broken toe but I too had a cervical (neck disk C5/6) fusion after arm/finger numbness, pain etc., and was also in danger of permanent paralysis without the surgery. This is nothing to mess with.
To Batgirl, I saw a neurologist and the surgery was done by my neurosurgeon FIL’s partner but orthopedic surgeons also do spinal fusions.
Batgirl
Thanks!
brokentoe
I was fused C-5/6 6/7 almost 14 years ago. Lost some mobility in my neck (tough to look up at a sharp angle) but it really hasn’t limited me in substantive ways (I can’t skydive or go on roller coasters, etc). However I am now struggling with some lower back pain that I am hoping is not degenerative….:(
Coach Laura
Yep, no roller coasters or skydiving and I’ve added horseback riding to that cause I’m a wimp. But I do cycle and do other sports.
I did have a lot of lower back pain for a while and was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease, along with needing c-4/5 done too but all that went away after I stopped having system-wide inflammation from ingesting gluten. Obviously n=1 but going gluten free took away a lot of my spinal pain and associated problems. I’m over 50 and have no ongoing back or neck pain.
brokentoe
Hmmmmm Coach Laura, that is something to think about. I’m 54 and it never ceases to amaze me the way my body has changed over the decades. 30’s – my body decided it didn’t like caffeine. 40’s – a mild lactose intolerance developed. Maybe gluten is my thing for my 50’s. Never a dull moment.
Carrie...
See your doctor and get a prescription for occupational therapy. Have her write on the script your 2 problems (neck pain, hand numbness), “assess and treat”, ” workplace assessment”. Some OTs go to your workplace . I know the national PT/OT chain Novacare does this.
So get insurance to cover it.
Have you checked with HR? Many workplaces do this for free, as it has been shown to be cost effective.
You also could benefit from some OT/PT therapy exercises for your problems, so try to make time for that. Be very wary of chiropractor work on your neck. I have seen too many strokes….,. Never do high speed manipulation of the neck.
anon
PSA, if the numbness/tingling is bilateral it *could* be something quite serious (or it could be nothing), so do check with your doctor.
anon
See doctor, then file worker’s comp claim. Suddenly the red tape disappeared and an ergonomist and necessary equipment appeared as soon as I filed for worker’s comp.
Ergonomics in DC?
Ok, ok, you have all sufficiently scared me! I have an appointment with a neurologist on May 18. Anything I should do between now and then?
anon at 12:25
Sleeping in wrist braces really helps my carpal tunnel flares. You can pick them up on Amazon or CVS/Walgreens. They are possibly the least sexy thing ever but they are essential to my health. However, do not use the wrist braces while at work – it’s not the right position for mouse/keyboard work.
Fellow Fed
I hope this post, the board seems to just eat my comments.
Many government agencies will do this for their employees. I know mine does. If you can’t get anywhere with HR contact your EAP. Then file Worker’s Comp if necessary. I’m surprised a complaint to your boss didn’t get it done. The paper work involved with the WC claim will keep him/her busy for years.
tesyaa
My husband’s repetitive motion injury – including ergonomic treatment, OT and eventually surgery – was entirely covered by worker’s comp. Not in a government job though. And although I have heard horror stories about worker’s comp, the surgeon who was his first choice took WC. There was a lot of paper pushing involved, but it wasn’t unbearable.
More to the point, if an injury is work-related, there’s no choice but to claim under WC – regular insurance won’t cover if they find out it’s work-related. (I understand that there’s some gray area about determining whether an injury is, in fact, work related).
Ergonomics in DC?
Your last parenthetical is my question about workers comp. Yes, I’m on the computer a lot at work, but I also use one at home and use a smartphone a lot. Plus I have a baby and find that tasks like spoon feeding her put stress on my wrists. How on earth would I ever determine that it’s a workplace injury?
Saguaro
The WC company will help you determine if it is work related or not.
Lyssa
I’ve done some work in this area (specifically, I processed disability claims where work-related cases were excluded, so we wouldn’t approve claims that should be covered by WC). It’s really hard – there can be a lot of cases where both sides will try to blame the other and no one wants to pay. My general recommendation would be that if you don’t need workers comp to cover it (that is, if you have decent private insurance and won’t have to, say, miss a lot of work or buy some kind of expensive equipment), try not to say that it is even arguably work related. Ultimately, there’s usually no real way to prove it, and it’s a judgment call by the WC specialists/court, but you don’t want to have to fight with them about it if you can avoid it.
tesyaa
My husband’s injury was exacerbated by holding our baby, but was deemed to be work related. It made sense because he was using the keyboard/mouse at work many more hours than he was holding the baby.
Your first post mentioned a crippling workstation, but not the baby issue, which is why I mentioned WC. If you do have someone come to your workplace for an ergonomics assessment, though, be prepared for at least the question of whether the injury falls under WC. Can you have an outsider just walk into your workplace without alerting your supervisor, HR or security?
Pep
I also work for the government, and office ergonomics fall under the responsibility of our safety department/officer. Our safety department has a specially trained and certified person who will meet with requestors to do an assessment and order whatever equipment they may need to address their concerns.
Take a look into whether or not your agency has such a person or department.
Pitbulls
Anyone have a pitbull breed? My SO and I are thinking about adopting a sweet little 9 month girl ABPT but I’m really worried about the stigma they carry. We met with her and she is so sweet and currently lives in a house with 4 small children (which is why they are trying to rehome her – no time and I think stressed resources) and she was absolutely wonderful with them. Our current apartment has a breed restriction so we’d need to move, but I’m afraid that other pet owners will make it difficult to have one anywhere. Can anyone speak to a similar experience?
lsw
YES!!! I have one and she is the most wonderful dog in the world. Obviously every dog is an individual, but the idea that pitbulls are “naturally” violent is insane. My girl has really served as an ambassador for the breed. My parents went from, “You’re getting a pitbull?!!? You’re going to die!” to telling all their friends about how much they love pitbulls.
You will get some dirty looks (and people crossing the street). But, in most places, you will find dedicated pit owners who are working very hard to change people’s minds about the breed. I’m not sure where you are, but search for local groups. Here (in Pittsburgh) I know of several. There is also a great blog, Two Pitties in the City, written by owners of two pits in Chicago.
They can be very high energy dogs, so get ready for that. Many pitbulls I have seen that are aggressive have a lot of pent up energy. Are you ready to deal with a dog who is going to need long walks or runs – and mental stimulation! – for the next 8+ years? (they will live longer but energy obviously goes down)
It’s not unusual for pits to have issues with cats or small dogs, whom they might see as prey. Not all pits, but some. Just wanted to say that in case you have interactions with cats.
They are also supremely loving dogs who are totally connected to their humans. I have never had a more rewarding pet relationship than with my 14 year old baby. I wish you the best of luck!! Pitbulls for life! :) (And if you have any specific questions/concerns, I would be happy to answer!)
lsw
I should add that I do own my own home, and there are several companies where I couldn’t get home owners’ insurance while having a pitbull. I do have insurance, I just couldn’t bundle it with my car and had to shop around for a while.
Seattle Freeze
I believe State Farm has no breed restrictions at all – more info here: http://www.blessthebullys.com/homeowners-insurance.html
Bubbles
I have a pittie girl, love her, own apt in NYC and got Amica insurance. They did come out to meet the dog.
She is a mush and is also great with my baby. They are called America’s first nannies.
Katie
I’m late to the game, but I’ve had the exact same (wonderful) experience with my pup. I even met the Pitties in the City dogs (and their humans, of course!) while walking around (I’m in Chicago).
I will second the issue for renters. If you rent, be very sure your landlord is fine with it, and be very prepared for a lot of extra legwork if you want to move into another rental down the road. The rescue org I volunteer with has so many dogs that are relinquished due to housing restrictions.
We’ve had our dog for five years now, and I’ve found that people seem to have become much more aware of what great dogs they can be in that time span. We had far more negative comments when we first got him, although I occasionally still hear some. One of my former colleagues was absolutely convinced our dog was going to turn on us and eat us alive one day. Good luck! I love my snuggly, goofy dog so much.
Killer Kitten Heels
I dated someone who had an ABPT, and spent a lot of time with the dog (because he was a loser in myriad ways, including being a mediocre/lazy dog owner), and I think your biggest problem is actually going to come from people who don’t own dogs, not other dog-owners. (Also, breed restrictions on apartments – I don’t know where you live, but I’ve lived in two different Northeastern cities, and about the only way you could have a pitbull was if you owned your own free-standing home without any homeowner’s or condo association, or if you happened to find a SFH-type rental with a sympathetic landlord – and even then, you need to check local ordinances because there are some towns where pitbulls are banned in the entire town.)
In my experience being out in all kinds of places (dog parks, hiking trails, walks on city streets) with ex-b/f’s dog, people who owned dogs themselves knew what a “good dog” looks like and acts like, and could see/understand the dog’s behavior and recognize her as a good, friendly, gentle dog. The people who had a problem with her generally fell into two camps: People who’d had a specific bad experience with a pit who used it as an excuse to judge all pits, and people who hadn’t had a specific negative experience but had little-to-no experience with dogs generally and couldn’t read the dog’s behavior, so they just assumed that pit = scary.
Occasionally a fellow dog owner with a small dog would keep their distance, but not in a mean way, more in a “your dog seems nice but also pits are often not good around small animals, so let’s not find out up-close with my Chihuahua whether your pit is one of those, thanks” way.
Jen
Things that help non-dog people feel less afraid:
1. a dog that behaves on a leash and listens on command.
Note that pitties are STRONG. you may want or need a gentle leader or harness. You should get one. Be mindful how a prong collar looks to non-dog owners (and even some dog owners); if you work with a trainer that says you need one and shows you how to use it, then by all means use one, just know that has a certain look to it that puts people off.
2. clothing- this is silly, but we own a black dog and apparently, studies show that bananas help! If you do lots of hiking, get a doggie backpack.
3. proactive dog control: when you see someone approaching, tell the dog to sit/heel. make the dog sit on the side of you opposite the passerby. They will be impressed with the behavior.
I can tell you from experience, we have a dog that has some bully breed in him, though looks like a lab. He can be aggressive toward SOME dogs and flips out around bikes. We have worked with a trainer for YEARS and he is getting better, but he is a large, strong handful. We have a toddler and he knocks her down all the time (accidentally) because he is just very powerful. If he spins in a circle and she’s walking up to him, she falls. She’s OK with it, and has learned to keep her distance, but this type of dog is very different than my last big oaf of a golden, who didn’t so much as lift a paw.
lsw
You are right about the clothes – I think you meant bandanna, right? My dog (white with a few brown spots) wears a pink plaid coat or a sweater in the winter time and it really does make her more approachable, and people like to talk to her or ask me about her coat. Plus she has basically no hair on her belly and short hair overall so she actually needs them. Bandanas and scarves are cute too. Pitties in the City also talks about that!
And yes, STRONG!!
Anonymous
Even if you decide not to go with a gentle leader/harness, do not get a retractable leash. No one should ever use retractable leashes, even with teacup yorkies, but especially not with a strong dog.
CountC
+1,000,000
rosie
There is someone in my neighborhood that walks a big dog (looks to be 70 lbs or so) with a prong color and a retractable leash. It kills me.
Duchess
WORD. Retractable leashes and dogs that are not made to behave on leashes are the bane of my existence. I have spent years of my life ensuring my (75 pound) dog behaves on a leash, but when your dog comes running up at him from 20 feet away, expect him to go wild. And then don’t get mad at me.
Hollis
For the ignorant toy dog owner out here, what’s the problem with an retractable leash? They seem practical…
Duchess
A leash isn’t meant as a substitute for a fenced in backyard. Your dog shouldn’t be allowed to effectively run wild when on one. When on a leash, your dog should be right at your side — not 10 ft in front of you or 12 ft to the left. It’s a safety issue for your dog and everyone else.
Blonde Lawyer
If you do have a big back yard that isn’t fenced in you can train a dog on two leashes as long as you don’t use the longer leash elsewhere. My dog is on a retractable leash in our back yard only so she can scoot into the woods to poop. When we go for walks she has a short normal leash and we go out the front door. Long leash is back door. She knows the difference and walks like a trained dog on the short leash on our walks and knows in the backyard on the long leash she is free to walk ahead and poop.
Anonymous
My friend has a scar on her leg from a dog running a circle around her while on a retractable leash. This can happen, and the leash can dig into skin, or knock a less-stable person over. Even if the dog isn’t running in circles, if the leash is too long, it creates an invisible clothesline that other walkers, runners, cyclists, rollerbladers, etc. don’t notice (or if they do notice, still have no way to get around). Those are all safety issues for others. But above all, a retractable leash does not teach a dog proper leash behavior–it teaches the dog that a leash means a constant pulling sensation, and it’s ok for them to pull and have a tight leash.
I also get really frustrated with retractables after living in apartment complexes heavily populated with just-out-of-college kids who think the retractable leash is a great way for them to take the dog out with minimal commitment–the owner can text the entire time from the dry pavement while the dog wanders into the grass and poops. Owner looks up from phone as dog runs back, and completely ignores the dog’s waste. How convenient. (And specifically, I’ve seen where owner doesn’t even glance at waste so doesn’t notice that it’s diarrhea and that dog is spreading giardia around the complex, which was confirmed when other dogs whose owners do pick up noticed something off and sent in lab samples)
PinkKeyboard
We don’t have a pit bull but we have 2 German Shepherds (one elderly and now about 14 and one puppy who is about 7 months). They were the pit bull of the eighties. GSD also come with the police/attack dog image. Some people will be weird and difficult and some people won’t, I honestly don’t really care if you don’t like my dogs. If people commenting or judging will really bother you or prevent you from going to the park etc then you should reconsider. You do have to be pretty committed to the moving thing, we now own (we waited on the 2nd dog till then) but renting with a large “aggressive/dangerous” dog can be challenging. I called a lot of places and my opening line was “we have a GSD, is that okay?”. It was non-negotiable for us so we did a lot of extra leg work to make sure we could keep her.
brokentoe
I know many of them can be sweet and wonderful dogs, but don’t forget to check on your homeowners insurance policy before you commit. I was shocked to learn from my insurance agent that many insurance companies will cancel your policy outright if you own or keep in your home one of the so-called “dangerous” breeds.
anon
Pits can be extremely sweet, but you HAVE to be able to control them – you can’t just assume you will get a sweet one. If you have no experience with a big dog, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are committed to spending time training it. They do make renting a royal pain in the tuchus, as Ellen would say.
Anon
My cousin has two and a good friend of mine has one. They are three of the sweetest dogs I’ve met (and one of them is one of the best-trained dogs I’ve ever met, but part of that is that her owner puts a lot of training into her dogs). My friend reported that someone made a really rude comment to her once, but otherwise neither of them have reported any issues. I would second the recommendations to vet any breed specific legislation or requirements in your city and where you live.
Anon
It may definitely be hard for you to rent. I’m a landlord and unfortunately may be on the hook for injuries caused by aggressive breeds, even with insurance. As a result, I won’t allow them (or other dogs with a bite history). FWIW, I’m a dog lover and former dog owner.
Anon
My brother has one and she is a very sweet dog. She is also very well-trained and well-exercised. He takes her on his run every morning (usually around 6 miles) and she does a long run with him on the weekends. She also goes backpacking with him and helps carry gear. She is very sweet around my children (though I am a little paranoid around all dogs and won’t let my children play in the backyard without an adult out there too when she–or any other dog–is out.) She did “attack” my sister’s little dog though, but we think part of what happened was that my sister just put her dog outside with my brother’s dog and my brother said she should have waited for him to help introduce the little dog to his dog. The little dog was not hurt but it was a little scary. Also, my brother had to shop around for homeowners insurance because many companies would not provide coverage on a house with a pit bull.
JJ
I don’t think that’s paranoid – I think it’s very wise to not have children around any dogs unsupervised. We never do.
Anon
+1
We have a golden retriever who is sweet and lovable and has never demonstrated any issues towards children. I’d still never, ever let him be with children unsupervised, even for a minute. It’s just not worth it.
Anonymous
There was a very sad story in my local paper of a 14 month old who was fatally attacked by the family dog when left alone. By all accounts, the dog was always sweet and had never shown any signs of aggression. In this instance it did happen to be a pit, but I think children alone + dog is too risky with any breed and temperament.
mascot
+2. Treat your dog like you would a pair of sharp scissors when it comes to kids.
Wildkitten
Kids are most often hurt by small dogs because folks aren’t worried and leave them alone together. Kids and dogs don’t speak the same language and should be supervised to make sure both are comfortable and safe.
EB
Before adopting, can you take her out to see how she behaves around other dogs? She may be super sweet to humans, but if she gets insane around other dogs, that can make your life tough. This applies to all dogs, actually.
Meg Murry
I was going to recommend this as well. You need to see how she handles being on a leash or walking down a sidewalk where there are other dogs. We have a friend who had to do a lot of work with a trainer (first in private lessons, then slowly working his way into a group setting) to deal with a dog that just could not handle other dogs being within eyesight.
Also, I’m assuming she isn’t full grown yet. Don’t forget this breed is very strong, especially once full grown, so being able to handle her on walks if she sees other dogs will be very important.
Annie
+1
See how she does around dogs of all sizes and cats if you can. Some dogs don’t see the difference between small dogs and cats and other vermin, and their prey drive can take over. A well socialized dog is key to doggie and human happiness.
Pitts are all muscle, so making sure that they have good leash manners is key.
JJ
We have a pit mix that is now 13 years and has been a wonderful dog with both of my kids. But it is harder to rent – when we were in college and law school, many apartment complexes would have pits on the excluded breeds list. I’d also agree with Killer Kitten Heels – most dog owners well recognize and appreciate a well-behaved dog, regardless of breed. The only comments we’ve ever received about our dog is how adorable he is (he looks like the Tramp from Lady and the Tramp with a pit’s muscle structure). Just be prepared for the dog to be STRONG. Deceptively so.
Jen
+1000. Our dog is 70# and looks thin/trim–he’s a mutt that has longish hair to hide the pit muscle structure lying underneath!! He can leap 5-6′ fences without a running start. He has the power of a 130lb dog and can outrun border collies at the local dog park. He’d be a great ringer in a dog race because nobody suspects this lab-like thing can go 0-60 in 2 seconds and turn on a dime.
anonymous
If you want to be talked out of this, don’t visit Hector the Pitbull’s Facebook page, whatever you do. I own two labradoodles that are adorable but honestly, this page would convert me, regardless of the difficulties regarding insurance and renting.
Snickety
Ok. If you are “really worried about the stigma” and actually would have to move to accommodate a dog that you don’t own yet, the reasonable thing to do is to find another dog to adopt. There are many, many, many sweet dogs available for adoption that would be easier to accommodate in an apartment.
Wildkitten
I have one. She’s perfect. They’re exactly the same as all other dogs. While it’s a pain to move etc for one I think that a lot of places use anti-pit bull bans as a proxy for racism and I don’t want to financially reward those jerks by living in their apartment complexes anyway. They’re the most common dog available for adoption in my metro area.
Anon
What? proxy for racism? Are you for real?
I’m not saying that pitbulls are all necessarily dangerous but the fact is that there is a higher incidence of aggression with pitbulls than with other breeds. this is science. not racism.
Wildkitten
Yes for real. Nope not science. Both race and dog breeds are social constructs.
Mpls
Actually – that’s statistics, which is math, and while used a lot in science, not actually science.
Science would be an explanation about WHY pitbulls are actually more aggressive, not just a correlation.
Wildkitten
I also wonder if it’s that pit bulls are more aggressive or that we like to call aggressive dogs pit bulls.
Race as a social construct, more here: http://www.salon.com/2014/02/28/must_see_morning_clip_stephen_colbert_learns_just_how_racist_america_really_is/
Jen
And to play devil’s advocate, most apartment complexes have these rules because of the insurance policies they carry. The carrier will spike the rates or drop the policy if certain breeds (including dalmatians, most often) are allowed to reside there.
CountC
First, she said she thinks this, which she is completely entitled to do. Second, I agree with her. Whether some people want to acknowledge it or not, there is a general public association between pit bulls and dog fighting, and dog fighting and drugs, and dog fighting, drugs, and certain races.
Pretty Primadonna
This.
Meg Murry
Where I lived one time I could see it as a proxy for racism, because pit bulls were far more popular with the non-white minority (that was actually a majority in our city) than they were with the (minority) white population.
anonymous
This. In some communities pit bulls are more popular (in reality or public perception) with minorities. My spouse is a minority and we are pit bull owners – I have seen pit bull hate used as a thin veneer for racism.
Bonnie
I agree with Wildkitten. There are more reported incidents of aggression by pitbulls but only because pitbulls are more likely to be trained to fight and be aggressive. That particular dogs were trained to be aggressive does not mean that the breed itself is more aggressive. Frankly, I’ve seen more aggression from small yippy dogs at the dog park than the pit mixes.
AIMS
Are either of you experienced with dogs? Are you willing to put in the time it takes to properly train/maintain a dog? Terriers in general are stubborn and need a lot of structure. Pits or jack russells. They are fantastic dogs – fiercely loyal, clever, loving – but they take work. I think stigma is easier to deal with – if you have a well behaved dog, the dog will take care of that for you. But you need to know what you’re doing and it’s not fair to take in an animal that needs a strong owner if you can’t be that owner.
As an aside, some people are just scared of dogs. I have a 23 lbs puppy and some people still don’t feel comfortable around him. Before that I had a cat, and I had visitors who were clearly uncomfortable around her. You can’t live your life for other people, but you do need to be prepared to have someone who can take care of her when you go away, live somewhere where she is allowed, have enough time in your day to give her the exercise she needs, etc. Also, dogs are what you make them. I’ve known many more aggressive small dogs than large and I think it’s because people let little dogs get away with more since they don’t seem threatening and their yipping and yapping is considered “cute” when they start. Pit bulls have a bad rep because unfortunately too many are taken in by people who aren’t prepared for the responsibility and requirements of having such a dog. But for a long time, they were very popular family dogs and they still can be, provided you know what you’re doing.
Coach Laura
AIMS is right. We love her to pieces but we call our Jack Russell Terrier aka JRT the Jack Russell Terrorist. She’s an 18 pound pit bull in a small body and in her younger days (she’s thirteen now) thought nothing of taking on the neighbor’s 130lb Leonberger – who is a bully dog – or any large dog. We had to train her more than any other dog we’ve had. Terriers are hard to handle and one has to be an expert dog owner to manage some (not all) terriers.
Proud bully breed owner
Oops – reposted to the right post.
We are actually on our second and third bully breed mixes. They are wonderful dogs and incredibly sweet and gentle around people (including our small child) and I don’t see us ever going back. A few pointers:
– I second the prior points about never letting the dog be alone around children or other dogs. First of all, the prior commenters are right that leaving a small child alone with any dog, regardless of the breed, is generally a bad idea. Second of all, in my experience, pit bull owners are held to a much higher standard than other dog owners, and behavior that might be tolerated from other dogs is often not tolerated from pit bulls.
– I second everything everyone here said about checking with your insurance company first. We’ve lucked out in that we own a home with no HOA and our insurance company is fine with it. We’ve also lucked out with understanding landlords and our renter’s insurance prior to buying. But the other commenters’ concerns are valid.
– “Breed specific legislation” (or BSL) is still a major issue in some states and cities. Please do some research on this prior to committing. Even if certain breeds are not outright banned, there are often laws/ordinances that are specifically in place to up the hassle factor to discourage ownership of bully breeds. (Don’t even get me started about how this discourages responsible dog owners who care about complying with the law.) And in my experience, local law enforcement was not always correct in what the laws/ordinances required. We lived in one city where we carried around a paper copy of the ordinance with us every time we walked our dog.
– If you’re thinking about doing doggie day care, they may have breed restrictions. Also, only one of our three dogs has ever been good around other dogs. The other two were fantastic around people, but a doggie day care would not have worked due to the proximity of other dogs. Same with kennels if you ever need to board him/her – we’ve had to pay through the nose for a “private suite” for our dogs that were not dog-friendly. Just something to keep in mind.
– The humane society in our area has an obedience class specifically geared toward bully breeds. We had great luck with this and I’d encourage you to look into it. We’ve also had a couple of vets that were bully breed owners and that’s been amazing too.
– Please be sure to adopt from a reputable rescue organization that has tested the dogs for behavior issues. Avoid backyard breeders (or even, really, breeders at all). I cannot emphasize this enough. Something like only 1 in 600 bully breed dogs will ever find a home because there are just so many in shelters that people don’t want and cannot find homes. As far as I’m concerned, anyone deliberately adding to the population is an idiot. NB: if you adopt a female dog, be prepared for people to stop you on the street and ask if you’re interested in breeding her. It’s disgusting.
– Spay and neuter. Spay and neuter. Spay and neuter.
– No really. Spay and neuter.
Pitbulls - OP
Thanks all for the great advice. We both only have experience with smaller dogs so I will certainly take all of this into account. Like many other cities, bully breeds are the breeds most available for adoption in our city so that’s also something to think about. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of the comments.
Bonnie
We have a pitbull mix (pit, chow, and pomeranian). She was advertised as a shepherd mix but most dogs in shelters are part pit. She is a sweet puppy and gets along with our cats. She’s very protective of us but not violent at all.
Nice Cube
I am thinking of planning a trip to the Florida Keys this summer for 4 adults, a 4 year old, and a 10 month old.
I know nothing about the Keys/what to do – any suggestions on where to start researching and planning? I know about all the usual resources, but you lovely ‘rettes always have insider info!
My main question is which island should stay on?
Val
It depends what you want to do on your trip. Key West is definitely the biggest town, and the only place where there are going to be a big selection of museums, restaurants, bars, etc. Most of the other islands are small and just have a few things. Marathon and Islamorada are the other main areas. If you mostly just want to sit at the beach/pool and hang, then anywhere south of Key Largo is going to be fine.
My recommendation, is to rent a house anywhere with beach/pool access, grab some groceries, and hang for a few days. If you want to take a “day trip” to another island you definitely can. Driving around there is easy (just one road) and beautiful. The 4 year old might like the Turtle Hospital in Marathon, but be aware that there is like a 1 hour presentation before you see any actual turtles. You can also feed the tarpon at Robbie’s in Islamorada, and makes for a fun stop.
You will have a great time. It’s impossible to go there and not feel like you are on vacation!
anonomatopoeia
I agree with everything Val said. Any of the islands will work if you want a relaxing beach trip and if you want more activities/sightseeing/etc., you should stay in Key West. There’s a butterfly garden on Key West that is pretty cool and lots of other old houses, museums, and touristy things.
In your planning, just remember that the northernmost key, Key Largo, is about a 2+ hour drive from the southernmost key, Key West. Also, because there is only a 2 lane “highway” (one lane each way) running through the keys, traffic can get pretty bad, especially at the beginning and end of a weekend.
Enjoy your trip!
Time off
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your advice the other day about taking 6-9 months off to travel before clerking! It’s so good to hear that you think doing it won’t derail my career :) It was especially nice to hear from Former Partner, Now In-House because most of the people I can talk to about this are at the beginning of their careers and may have a different perspective. I think I just got a bit shaken by the reactions one or two of my friends have had (exact words: “That’s a ridiculous plan. You’re not 22.”)… but I’ve talked to more people and it sounds like the overwhelming response is that it won’t really hurt me in the future and may even help. One of the best things about being in my 30’s is realizing it’s really not too late to do all of the things I wish I had done in my 20’s! :)
TO Lawyer
FWIW, I went straight through undergrad-law school-working and now, in my late 20s, I’m starting to feel a bit burned out and like I can’t just quit my job and travel. Even taking vacations is kinda stressful. So I would definitely say, if you can swing it financially, you should definitely do it!
Anon
+1 I wonder how much of your friend’s reactions was jealousy or not knowing your financial situation. I would think that (maybe voice my concern in a nicer way, depending on the relationship) about most of my friends if they were going to do this, but none of my friends, to my knowledge, have anywhere close to the financial stability to do something like this.
Time off
Financial stability is one reason I needed to wait until my 30’s to be able to do something like this… I’ve spent 4.5 years in BigLaw and have been pretty frugal so that part is fine. The friend who made that comment was a coworker, so I think it was less concern about finances and more concern that future employers would view it as flaky or evidence that I don’t care about my career… which started to worry me. Although perhaps you’re right that it was partially jealousy because said friend is married with kids and has a large mortgage and has probably forever missed the boat on doing something like this.
AIMS
I didn’t chime in when you first posted, but just wanted to add that if you time it so that you leave your firm in, let’s say, January 2016 and then start your clerkship in August/September 2016 – no one will probably even notice. You can just put years on your resume, you don’t need months. Firm A, 2012-2016; Judge B, 2016-present. And if they ask, I agree no one would care.
Former Partner, Now In-House
This is a very good point, and one that didn’t dawn on me wrt my own resume until several years after law school, when the years start becoming more important than the months.
Time off
Brilliant, thanks!! Yes, I would definitely leave after the new year… a bonus (assuming we get one) would really help my travel fund.
Career TJ
I interviewed for a position recently that I am very interested in, I know the range they are working with but other things like benefits are more of a gray area. The position is in higher ed at a small institution where some of this information is not posted on the website. I have considered contacting HR to ask but not sure if this is a good idea since I haven’t been offered the position yet although I think that I am one of the candidates being considered. The other option is to contact other institutions in the same area but they are much bigger. Advice?
meme
I would hold off asking HR until you get an offer unless you have some really pressing reason for needing this information ahead of time and you can explain that in a way that will not be annoying, and other institutions may or may not have comparable benefits. You just can’t know that until you get an offer. I think you have to wait.
Diana Barry
Wait until you get the offer.
Mpls
+1 Benefits only matter if you get the offer. I understand wanting to formulate decision parameters now, but pushing to get that information before you’ve been asked to decide about the job is going to seem tone-deaf to the hiring process.
Bewitched
Our university benefits information is all publicly posted on our website. YMMV with a smaller college but worth checking.
Lighting suggestions?
How would you add light to a room that is just depressingly dark? (Also, my W/D are in this room and I can’t see when there are clothes still in the washer basin!)
It has no overhead light and just an outlet tied to a switch for a lamp, but the lamp doesn’t provide much more light than if an iPhone was mounted to the ceiling (the screen backlight, not even the flashlight strength). There is not really any surface area to add another lamp, so I don’t know if there are much stronger but still indoor-safe lamp bulbs? Renting so I can’t add hard-wired lighting.
Anon
You can buy adhesive lights from home depot that will stick to most surfaces. We got some to add light when trying to stage my grandma’s house when she was selling it and they worked very well.
Bewitched
Is it a rental or do you own? We had an electrician add electrical sockets and a few overhead lights to our older home and it was relatively inexpensive (and so worth it, I wish we had done more!)
Shayla
Buy a better light to plug into the outlet? You could use adhesive hooks to hang one too. Ikea has a lot of options.
All else fails: http://www.amazon.com/Designers-Edge-L14SLED-Adjustable-Telescoping/dp/B0002YW2C8
Wildkitten
LOL.
Meg Murry
Is there room on the floor for a standing lamp light this one: http://www.amazon.com/Boston-Harbor-TL-TREE-134-BK-3L-3-Light-Black/dp/B003A9E734/ref=sr_1_1?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1429890014&sr=1-1 or similar?
Pretty much any compact florescent bulb or LED bulb is indoor safe even at really bright levels (look for the X watt equivalent), so go get a brighter lightbulb – as long as its not incandescent or halogen you don’t have to worry about bright ones getting hot and therefore being unsafe.
You could also look for a plug in strip light at a home store – they are meant to be mounted on a wall or ceiling, but I’ve been able to hang them off 2 or 3 nails in the wall.
Must be Tuesday
Can you use a different lamp?
la vie en bleu
There are hanging lights with cords, Ikea has a lot of them. You just screw a hook into the ceiling where you want it, then secure the cord along the ceiling/wall and it’s plugged into the outlet. I have used these a lot in places with no installed overhead light.
I’m having trouble finding an image online that really shows the cord part that I’m talking about, but I think this shows what I mean. But instead of attaching the lamp to the rod like they do here, you can just screw a cup hook into the ceiling to hang the lamp part.
http://ikeahackers.net/wp-content/uploads/blogger/_XGRz6uWGK3I/S_AJ_0bBJSI/AAAAAAAAIU4/gGlG91rUVKQ/s1600/Lamp1-798902.jpg
NYNY
Look into Ikea’s Dioder lights. They’re strips of LEDs that you can attach pretty much anywhere, like under a cabinet. My husband has an isolation booth in his home studio, and when the built-in light died, we replaced it with these. They’re pretty great, and inexpensive.
anonsg
If you need to stick things on walls or ceilings, or need hooks (instead of screwing things into walls) – command strips!!!!!!!!! I rent too, and I just command strip everything – you can stick them on the back of those lights you can just press and it’ll light up and you can stick them on the wall, or you can use command strips that come with little hooks and you can hang lights.. I use this for indoor christmas lights (they have christmas light hooks that do this). Check the 3M website and target’s coupon section – there are often coupons for command strips.
Proud bully breed owner
We are actually on our second and third bully breed mixes. They are wonderful dogs and incredibly sweet and gentle around people (including our small child) and I don’t see us ever going back. A few pointers:
– I second the prior points about never letting the dog be alone around children or other dogs. First of all, the prior commenters are right that leaving a small child alone with any dog, regardless of the breed, is generally a bad idea. Second of all, in my experience, pit bull owners are held to a much higher standard than other dog owners, and behavior that might be tolerated from other dogs is often not tolerated from pit bulls.
– I second everything everyone here said about checking with your insurance company first. We’ve lucked out in that we own a home with no HOA and our insurance company is fine with it. We’ve also lucked out with understanding landlords and our renter’s insurance prior to buying. But the other commenters’ concerns are valid.
– “Breed specific legislation” (or BSL) is still a major issue in some states and cities. Please do some research on this prior to committing. Even if certain breeds are not outright banned, there are often laws/ordinances that are specifically in place to up the hassle factor to discourage ownership of bully breeds. (Don’t even get me started about how this discourages responsible dog owners who care about complying with the law.) And in my experience, local law enforcement was not always correct in what the laws/ordinances required. We lived in one city where we carried around a paper copy of the ordinance with us every time we walked our dog.
– If you’re thinking about doing doggie day care, they may have breed restrictions. Also, only one of our three dogs has ever been good around other dogs. The other two were fantastic around people, but a doggie day care would not have worked due to the proximity of other dogs. Same with kennels if you ever need to board him/her – we’ve had to pay through the nose for a “private suite” for our dogs that were not dog-friendly. Just something to keep in mind.
– The humane society in our area has an obedience class specifically geared toward bully breeds. We had great luck with this and I’d encourage you to look into it. We’ve also had a couple of vets that were bully breed owners and that’s been amazing too.
– Please be sure to adopt from a reputable rescue organization that has tested the dogs for behavior issues. Avoid backyard breeders (or even, really, breeders at all). I cannot emphasize this enough. Something like only 1 in 600 bully breed dogs will ever find a home because there are just so many in shelters that people don’t want and cannot find homes. As far as I’m concerned, anyone deliberately adding to the population is an idiot. NB: if you adopt a female dog, be prepared for people to stop you on the street and ask if you’re interested in breeding her. It’s disgusting.
– Spay and neuter. Spay and neuter. Spay and neuter.
– No really. Spay and neuter.
Anon
+10000000000 Please spay and neuter. And don’t adopt from a breeder.
RKT
I bought the sleeved Classiques Entier dress that Kat recommended last week. I like it, except the sleeves hit at a funny length on me. Can I have sleeves shortened? Is that a complicated alteration?
Thanks for any advice!
tesyaa
Yes, you can have it done, and no, it’s not complicated for the sleeve on that notch-neck dress.
Bonnie
Yes. If you’re near Nordstroms, they can make that alteration cheaply.
Graduation Gift
One of my best friends just completed a PhD in a science field. I’d love to get her something to celebrate this huge achievement. I’m thinking about a desk name plate with her new title, but would love to hear what other people might suggest. TIA!
Pippit
A doctoral hat and/or sword, like they do in Finland?
https://www.jyu.fi/en/academic-events/degrees-ceremony/instruct/doctoral-hats-and-sword
mascot
The idea is nice, but I’ve never really understood the desk name plate. Presumably, if I am in someone’s office, I know their name and title. Maybe if you are in a bullpen where people don’t know whose desk it is you need it? I think you could still go for an office type gift- cool paperweight, picture frame, decorative item, note pads/stationery, letter opener, etc. You could get it personalized in some way it you wanted.
Anonymous
Another PhD here: a really nice frame for her diploma. The name plate sounds nice too but not sure how I personally would use it–names are posted on the door where I am. I was exhausted when I finished so looking back to that time I would also have appreciated something pampering e.g. spa gift certificate. Also depending on whether she already has a job or is job hunting maybe something that she can use e.g. a nice tote.
profmama
+1 on the pampering! Great idea!
I also agree about the diploma frame. One of those things that you can forget to get, but are really nice to have (six years later, my diploma is still not framed!)
Coach Laura
My dream graduation gift (to give or receive) is a frame for the diploma that has a university-specific seal, painting or building photo on it. Some have space for two diplomas, in case she got her undergrad from the same U.
anonsg
You could get a business card holder – either one to stick in her purse wallet-sized, or one for the desk – and get it engraved…