Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Fabiola Twilight Stripe Long-Sleeve Belted Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This belted dress from from Lafayette 148 New York looks like a beautiful summer-to-fall transition piece. Without the belt, it looks a little bit like old-timey pajamas, but somehow the self-belt turns it into something that looks super chic. (If you’re looking for more structure, I might swap in something like this MM.LaFleur belt.) It's made from a cotton/nylon/spandex blend that is (hooray!) machine-washable. The dress is $548 and available in sizes XS–XXL. Fabiola Twilight Stripe Long-Sleeve Belted Dress Two more affordable options are from Suistudio (straight sizes) and Vince Camuto (plus sizes). This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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212 Comments

  1. My 10-year-old and I will be in Boston this weekend. Anything we shouldn’t miss? Suggestions for where to eat? We plan to do some of the historical stuff, but she hasn’t covered a lot of it in school yet (??). We are staying in the Seaport. Thanks for any suggestions!

    1. USS Constitution. Museum is fun for kids, too.

      Museum of Science.

      Battle green at Lexington. Even if she hasn’t learned about it yet, it is a good one to see.

      Make Way for Ducklings statues in the garden.

    2. Mapparium! It’s pretty awesome to stand *inside* a globe instead of looking at it from the outside.

    3. The suggestions above are good. Definitely eat Italian food in the North End and if she loves chocolate, there’s an amazing chocolate buffet at the Langham Hotel.

    4. I really liked the Boston Massacre museum (although she may not have done that in school yet if she hasn’t covered other topics?)

    5. The Maparium is really cool – it’s basically a walk-through globe in its 1930s form (so you can see colonial names for countries, countries that don’t exist anymore). My favorite cupcake place, Sweets Bakery, is nearby too IIRC (haven’t lived there in a couple of years).

    6. Go see the seals at the aquarium (free) and then take the water taxi to Charlestown to see Old Ironsides. Go walk around the Harvard campus in Cambridge.

    7. Be aware that this weekend is moving day (Most of Boston has September 1 leases that change over this weekend). If you can avoid driving do, and particularly the Allston area will be a bit chaotic.

    8. If you’re staying in the Seaport, check out the Boston Tea Party Museum. I’m assuming by 10 she’s learned about it school so it could be cool to see the artifacts. If nothing else, it’s in the middle of a bridge overlooking the water, which is fun. Swing by Lawn on D a little later in the day to ride the glowing swings and stop off at Taiyaki for fish shaped ice cream cones.

    9. Re: your 10 year old hasn’t covered it yet- I’m not shocked. Where I live 2nd and 3rd grade are more about ‘social studies’ so urban/suburban/rural and community structure – like what are laws. 4th grade is state history, 5th grade is US history… so if she’s 10, she’ll likely be learning this stuff this year.

      In the North End, there will be a lot of long waits. Highly suggest sandwiches/pasta from Dino’s. It’s mostly a takeout spot but has a few seats. We often get a sandwich and then sit by the harbor and eat it. Shopping in the Back Bay and eating at Shake Shack might be a huge hit with a tween. For a fun long walk, a stroll past the State House through Boston Common and the Public Gardens and then down shopping/window shopping is always a blast.

      As a note: I remember going places one on one with my mom when I was about that age. My favorite part was doing the things that were more ‘grown-up’ and less ‘kid’… I remember sitting at a coffee shop with her drinking a cappuccino and me drinking something hot and thinking it was the coolest thing ever.

    10. Since you’re in the Seaport, I’d suggest the ICA, Children’s Museum. and the Aquarium, since both are pretty close by. Tea Party museum as well. Walk the Greenway and check out Quincy Market and the North End. I work in the Seaport, and there’s a Glossier pop-up there, so if she’s getting into makeup, maybe check that out. There’s a lot of good places to eat right now, but one place you might wanna check out (you’ll likely need a reservation) is Lolita, down in Fort Point by the water, which is a really neat Mexican restaurant with cool gothic aesthetics. Babbo, this Italian place with pizza and pasta dishes, is also one of my favorites, but since you’re visiting New England, you can’t go wrong with Barking Crab! Or Luke’s Lobster if you want something quick. It might also be fun to do a whale watch, if you don’t see any whales you’ll at least get the experience of seeing the harbor.

      1. I agree with most of these suggestions- though with a 10 year old, I’d pick one of the museum options not all, and I’d pass on the ICA unless you have a particular interest in contemporary art. I’d definitely recommend the new playground on the water near the Children’s Museum. Also, keep in mind that the Children’s Museum is fantastic but it’s expensive, often crowded and filled with parents of toddlers who will guilt your 10 year old into moving on from activities before she’s ready. If you go, I recommend trying to get there later in the afternoon when the toddlers are home napping.

        The Museum of Science is far and away the best museum for kids in the city, and it’s a great option if you get bad weather. But plan on taking the T because of move in day.

        I also suggest taking the ferry from Long Wharf (near the Aquarium) to Charlestown to see the USS Constitution (free) and museum (suggested donation). You’ll get a nice ride in the harbor for far less money than a whale watch.

        If you enjoy more sporty things, I also recommend doing a kayak rental on the Charles. There’s a place near the Kendall Square T stop in Cambridge.

        I’m biased because I live in the city, but I wouldn’t waste your time driving to Lexington or Concord. If you’re arriving by car and they’re on your way, maybe.

    11. The best thing we did on a vacation to Boston with our daughter at around that age was Louisa May Alcott’s Orchard House in Concord, then a walk around Walden Pond. She also loved the duck tour, the Make Way for Ducklings statues, and the Boston Tea Party museum.

      1. There is also a Make Way for the Ducklings sister sculpture in Moscow, Russia, which I’ve seen. The connection is cool.

      1. There is also a Make Way for the Ducklings sister sculpture in Moscow, Russia, which I’ve seen. The connection is cool.

      2. Meant for this comment to say that Ride the Ducks doesn’t have a good safety record in Boston or Seattle where I am.

    12. If you are staying in the seaport, walk over to Taiyaki and get an instagram-y unicorn ice
      Cream cone ;).

  2. Rant: I hate when people who make busywork for themselves try to make it for me too. My coworker spends a lot of time renaming folders, color-coding his task list, etc. instead of doing real work and is now trying to convince me to change the way we store our email contacts for a particular project to a new system that is not only completely unnecessary, but will take longer, be much less efficient, and much more error-prone. I pushed back and he’s insisting it will be best to “just update both systems.” I just cannot with that garbage. Unfortunately, he’s the project director and I had to give in.

    Also, said coworker regularly works evenings and weekends because he’s busy doing crap like this during the day. It bugs me that he’s probably viewed as more dedicated to the job than I am since I do not work nights or weekends except in an emergency. Ugh.

    1. A boss like this is a jerk, particularly if a man, and as such, he needs to get a life outside of work. In all likelihood, there is no woman in his life, or if he does have one, she is more interested in his paycheck then his personality. If there is a way to get him to focus on something outside of work (even taking up stamp collecting) that would be better for your psychic well being and allow you to do your job w/o haveing to put up with his nonsense. Good luck.

      The manageing partner got the firm 10 pairs of tickets for the US Open so he wants me to take out up to 10 cleints this week and next. I wonder why he just told me about this. I think Frank must have known about this for weeks b/c they were expensive and we already have the tickets. I have to figure out which cleints to invite. I do like Tennis, so it will be fun, but the manageing partner says we must still bill all of our hours this month. I will confirm with the manageing partner if I can bill my time at the US Open on a portal to portal basis, since it is a cleint focused event. YAY!!

    2. I’m just going to say it and everyone feel free to pile on and @me but I don’t care- In my experience, men are notoriously AWFUL about this during big projects. They just love to decide that a better “system” is needed and go down rabbit holes getting quotes for a new software no one asked for and coming up with a proposal for why we should switch to it etc. instead of focusing on the actual huge project at hand.

        1. LOL. I was thinking this applied to my husband. One of his chores is to mow the lawn. Next thing I know, the grass is 8 inches high, but he’s purchased a top-of-the-line edger :-)

    3. My boss was really fixated on moving files to a local server, which would also entail relinking all the folders in our project OneNotes, even though we were going through merger discussions that could result in files moving AGAIN. I of course pushed back, but even now I still can’t figure out what the heck my boss was thinking.

    4. Update: my coworker has now sent an email admitting his method was a bad idea (something that was immediately evident to me, but that he needed to test out to be sure about). I feel vindicated…this time.

    5. I’m totally guilty of this behavior in my own workflow, but I’ve been trying so hard to work on it and have never imposed it on others! It’s almost like a compulsion for me — I switch pens for different tasks (signing a document vs writing a to do list vs labeling a file folder) and when I take notes in a word document they have to be formatting them in a consistent way. It definitely took me years into my professional career to realize what a problem I can make this, and I wasted a ton of time in school re-writing to do lists in the best possible way instead of actually studying.

  3. Any suggestions for less formal work blogs? I used to work somewhere which was as formal as this blog but now I work in a much more casual startup.

    Or maybe I’m wrong, and there is a contingent of people in more casual offices here!

    1. Putting Me Together
      Savvy Southern Chic ( has a mix of work and weekend outfits)
      Jo Lynne Shane (not directly work related, but lots of different outfit ideas)

      I work in a very casual office. I’m basically wearing athleisure today. A pair of ponte knit leggings, striped tank top, knit cardigan and slip on sneakers.

    2. I think a lot of people here work in business casual offices except for the BigLaw ladies.

    3. I’m not sure I understand your question. Are you wanting a blog that shows clothing for casual workplaces? Or are you wanting a conversation about work topics that don’t center about corporations, law firms, and finance?

  4. Elizabeth ,these shirt dresses are very cute; these are really A line dresses that remind me of boyfreind shirts. Actually, I prefer the Nordstrom version @ $199 vs the pricier Neimun Marcus version not so much b/c of the price, but b/c of the belt. The Nordstrom belt is much nicer, and there is no way any of us should wear this dress w/o the belt b/c we will look 5 sizes to big (or pregenant). The Neimun Marcus belt will look like a schmatta after 5 or 6 washings, Mom says. She said she had a dress like this when I was a little girl, but I do NOT remember that.

    Anyway, the OP wanted to know about Boston. I would take a 10 year old girl to the Old Statehouse Fanueil Hall and HARVARD, where she can walk the Freedom Trail. I know when I was a 10 year old, I did NOT know even who George Washington was, but these days, we women have to be smarter, b/c guys like Marc Zuckerman, who go to school at Harvard, will not look at us unless we are cute and smarter then they are . Remember in the movie when I think he was trying to date a BU student, who he thought was inferior. But when she did not want to do $exueal tuff with him, he was humbled. That is what we need to do. Make sure men know we will NOT just go to his dorm and take our clothes off for them just b/c they are at Harvard. FOOEY on that!

  5. Any ideas for a milestone birthday gift for my soon to be 60 mom? She’s a pretty young 60, not particularly into jewelry and my dad is sending her to a fancy spa for a few days. She golfs at a not-too —fancy country club and runs a family business. I usually buy her a higher end handbag but I feel like this birthday demands something bigger/different. She’s status conscious but not flashy,
    if that makes sense. Can spend up to $1000. Thanks!

    1. I always think experiences are better than gifts for milestones. What about tickets to something special or a weekend away together?

      1. Thanks! For a variety of reasons, an experience gift (at least with us together) is just not a great idea right now.

        1. Can you get he r something for her and your dad to do together, since his gift to her doesn’t involve him? Like maybe tickets to a show and/or a really nice restaurant?

          1. Thanks!

            Again, it’s probably not the best idea. She’s not a foodie and doesn’t really enjoy fancy nights out, even on my dime. She’ll attend local concerts, which are good but affordable. She’s not great at public transportation and big crowds so a night in the city or at a large concert venue becomes a source of anxiety for her.

            I’m treating the whole family to a week out of town somewhere laid-back and close and I’m very sure she’ll bail on that after one night. We also tried to throw her a low key family party,but she called the vendor and canceled it. I suspect that she’s suffering from social anxiety but it’s just a whole can of worms that I don’t want to open right now.

      1. Love this idea. If you want to do an extra luxe one, take a look at the cashmere/silk shawls. I really love the Flamingo Party print!

    2. Ralph Lauren makes absolutely gorgeous cashmere blankets and throws. They are $$$ but I think they’re keepsakes. Highly recommend.

    3. I got my MIL a Hudson’s Bay 6 Point blanket and wrote “A 6 Point blanket for 6 decades” in the card. They are truly heirloom blankets and a nice-to-have luxury that would probably never make it to the top of your spending priority list to buy for yourself.

    4. My parents gave me a David Yurman bracelet almost 20 years ago after a couple of miscarriages. It is one of the smaller, less expensive ones and I wear it every single day. Will try to link below.

  6. I have a much-needed long weekend away this weekend and my concentration at work is shot in anticipation. I don’t care what I’m working on, I just want to get out of here. How do you deal with work during times like this?

    1. This question comes up all the time so you might want to do a search. IMHO, you have to do your work – what’s the alternative? There aren’t exactly toms of options this site can weigh in on and you already know things like take breaks, set small goals, etc.

    2. Well, you don’t want to return from your trip to find a backlog of overdue work that could have been done this week. Maybe that will help as motivation?

      1. That’s how I get myself to do things before a long(ish) break. I think of how blissful it will be to leave with a clear to-do list and I don’t want to have to work while I’m away, and that usually lights a fire under my wings.

      2. +1 — getting everything off your desk and into someone else’s inbox before a vacation is wonderful. Then they deal with it while you’re out, rather than you having the looming feeling of having to deal with it — on a rush basis — on your return!

      1. +1 for Pomodoro method plus breaking down your to-do list into small, manageable tasks. “Write report” is too overwhelming. “Write section I.A.” is doable. Then “Write section I.B.” Etc.

      2. Lol. I searched Pomodoro method and then wasted 15 minutes browsing kitchen timers on Amaz-n. Don’t be me. But here’s a neat tip: Amaz-n music app has a “sleep timer” you can set for 30 minutes. So put on your headphones, start the music, and work till it stops. Repeat. Change stations if necessary.

  7. Need good vibes for my DH. He’s interviewing for a job this afternoon that would be at least a 40% increase in pay, along with a level of respect that his current employer won’t ever give him. The irony is that it is essentially the same job; it’s just that the potential new employer understands that employees aren’t interchangeable cogs in a machine.

  8. Any suggestions on where or how to get family jewelry looked at? I have 20 rings that belonged to my wealthy grandma who was a housewife in the 1950s-70s. To be honest, most of it might be costume jewelry – I’m not sure! My brother is interested in seeing if anything is real so he could use it or reset it for an engagement ring for his girlfriend when he proposes in the next year. My mom gave them all to me at one point so I could get them looked at since I live in NYC and we figured there would be more in-person options here. And then they’ve been sitting on my dresser for the past year… We don’t care at this point about carats, quality, etc. Literally just is this glass or a real stone. We don’t want to sell them. Because of that, we really don’t want to spend a lot of money on it right now. Anyone have suggestions on where in Manhattan/Brooklyn that would be reliable/affordable for this endeavor? I would prefer not to send them in the mail since they’re family pieces and I wouldn’t want them to get lost, but if someone has experience with that route, let me know. (My brother lives in the south and I won’t be seeing him until Christmas, so giving them to him to deal with isn’t on the table right now.) Thanks!

    1. Elizabeth ,these shirt dresses are very cute; these are really A line dresses that remind me of boyfreind shirts. Actually, I prefer the Nordstrom version @ $199 vs the pricier Neimun Marcus version not so much b/c of the price, but b/c of the belt. The Nordstrom belt is much nicer, and there is no way any of us should wear this dress w/o the belt b/c we will look 5 sizes to big (or pregenant). The Neimun Marcus belt will look like a schmatta after 5 or 6 washings, Mom says. She said she had a dress like this when I was a little girl, but I do NOT remember that.

      Anyway, the OP wanted to know about Boston. I would take a 10 year old girl to the Old Statehouse Fanueil Hall and HARVARD, where she can walk the Freedom Trail. I know when I was a 10 year old, I did NOT know even who George Washington was, but these days, we women have to be smarter, b/c guys like Marc Zuckerman, who go to school at Harvard, will not look at us unless we are cute and smarter then they are . Remember in the movie when I think he was trying to date a BU student, who he thought was inferior. But when she did not want to do $exueal tuff with him, he was humbled. That is what we need to do. Make sure men know we will NOT just go to his dorm and take our clothes off for them just b/c they are at Harvard. FOOEY on that!

    2. If you are willing to go out to Long Island, I have heard good things about Barry Block in Carle Place who has a business called Jewelry Judge. I haven’t used him personally, but a neighbor who did said he seemed very honest and not at all snobby.

    3. Aaron Faber Gallery 666 5th Ave (entrance on 53rd btwn 5th & 6th) will appraise for a fee – but do not know current pricing. They have been in business for years, are scrupulously honest, and also do gorgeous redesign.

    4. Philmar Jewelers in the diamond district. It’s a little intimidating, but both Phil and Marvin are super nice and would probably take a look.

    5. I had this same situation. I inspected each piece with a jewelers loop. Some of the pieces were stamped “china” or “10kt”. Some were stamped “Tiffany”. It pays to suss out what you are going in with.

  9. Trying to choose a go-to work bag and would love feedback is anyone has any of these. I’m looking for something that I can use for travel and busier workdays. I’ll carry it under my shoulder most of the time so comfort in that wearing style matters most. I also care more about capacity than organization, but I do like bags with some flap or top closure to prevent things from falling out. I also want the bag to be structured enough that it won’t look lumpy carrying my laptop. My current bag is the Ferragamo Amy and I love it but it doesn’t have enough structure for me. Looking for something to use on my heavier days so that my Amy doesn’t fall apart.

    1. Dagne Dover Allyn Tote: I’m between the medium and large

    2. The Jemma Emma bags: Would also love size advice. I like the 39 for the laptop sleeve but it looks enormous in pictures.

    3. Cuyana trapeze tote: This is my favorite bag look-wise but I think the straps will be too short to carry under my arm

    4. Mulberry bayswater: Also love this bag aesthetically but am worried about ease of carrying it on my shoulder. I’m also worried it’s not structured enough for my liking.

    5. Cuyana structured leather tote: this is my least favorite option because it’s so open, but if I get decision fatigue I’ll probably just get one of these.

    TIA!

    1. I have the Cuyana Trapeze tote and it fits fine under my arm. I really like it and often get compliments on it.

      1. What if you are wearing a coat? I’m couraged that it works for you. But I bundle up a lot in winter and maybe that is something that would make it too snug?

        It is sooooooo pretty!

        1. So it’s not ideal with my big puffy coat (Canadian here, so it’s a thing) but it works fine under a thiner wool coat.

    2. I’m currently loving my DD Allyn (I have the small because I carry a backpack if I need to take my laptop to/from, but I tried the medium as well and liked it!)

    3. I have a DD legend. I love that they zip closed and the bag has several internal organizing compartments for laptop, iPad, pens, makeup, etc. However my bag is starting to sag and the handles show visible signs of wear after a year. I don’t know if the Allyn would have the same issue but for the price I was expecting better construction.

    4. Just purchased the Daame tote bag and it is perfect for work. Lots of internal pockets, light yet sturdy leather (load it up with a laptop and it’s still manageable), laptop pocket, full zip, shoulder straps and a crossbody strap. They just came out with a vertical option too! Had purchased the Cuyana structured work tote and returned it because of the same reason: too open, and also it was very heavy without anything in it.

    5. I have the bayswater and it sits in my closet becuase it’s too heavy to carry unless you car commute. Once I put in a laptop, keys/phone/wallet and one notepad, it’s just a shoulder injury waiting to happen. it also has short shoulder drop so I can only put it over my should when it’s nearly empty and i’m not wearing a coat.

  10. My 6YO OG is finally showing some signs of wear. It has been a great bag. I’d get another, but our recent-grad hire has one and used it as her bag in school and I am senior enough that this is giving me pause. I like the Seville and it looks more sophisticated (and 85% of the time, it’s a shoulder bag in my home city and I drive to/from work, so that is NBD to me). I’m doing more work travel than I used to (maybe 15% of my time, all plane travel with wheelie bag), so I wonder if my laptop sleeve addiction will do me in? I know the Seville has a soft shell bag, but I think if I used that for travel I’d just windup never switching back.

    What say y’all?

    1. I have the Seville and it’s a really nice bag. I don’t think the fact that a new grad also has one is relevant. I will say though, I have transitioned to almost exclusively carrying a backpack. I have a Tumi, but I actually saw someone carrying the Lo & Sons Hanover over the weekend and it looked nice.

      1. I bought the Rowledge and love it. I only wish it came in different colors like the OG, but if you like black, it’s a great bag. I originally bought the OG but like the poster below, I found the small zipper opening awkward.

    2. Oh man, I guess it’s too early on a Monday for me because for a second I was thinking you were referring to your 6 year old daughter as an Original Gangster…. Sigh.

      1. You’re not alone. I will *always* read OMG as ..Oh My God and OG as Original Gangster. :D

      2. I just skipped the OG entirely, but I definitely thought she said her 6 year old child was showing signs of wear.

    3. I had a very similar scenario, and in the end decided to replace my OG OG with a new OG, basically because once I realized that I was super likely to just use the nylon “travel” shell for the Seville it made up my mind that the OG was what I really wanted. FWIW, the new one looks so much better – I hadn’t noticed how shabby my OG had gotten, but over time it had lost some structure and my cat had chewed on the handles, etc., so the new one is a huge upgrade that way. I just took it on my first plane trip since getting it, and I’m definitely happy with my decision.

    4. I think the fact that a new hire had an OG as a student is a silly reason for you to avoid having one. However, I find the OG awkward to use. The zipper doesn’t open far enough, making it difficult to slide a laptop or notebook in and out of the bag, especially if there are other items in the main compartment. It’s also too tall and narrow, meaning that you have to stack things inside the bag and then go rummaging through them. And the shoe compartment is completely unusable because it is just a soft pocket inside the main section of the bag. I’d go for a different bag with a wider opening, a shorter shape without the narrow tapered top, and a separate, dedicated shoe compartment.

      1. I’ve never used the shoe compartment at all. I use the OG b/c it can hold my big (15″?) laptop and a sh*tton of files and rid on my wheelie bag.

        Never as an overnight bag.
        Never as a gym bag.
        It is a mobile office.

        1. Yep. I love my OG because I can stuff it full of stuff (FULL of stuff, including a laptop, a tablet, and two phones) and it’s still easy to haul around on my shoulder, hooked on my carryon bag, etc. I have even washed it a couple of times when something spilled in the bottom and it came out looking brand-new. If I saw a younger, less-experienced person with one at my office I would just think “man, that person has good taste!”

        2. My OG is a mobile office, but I really need the shoe compartment for commuting shoes.

      2. The not unzipping far enough down the sides drove me so insane that I gave my OG to someone at work who loved it. After one week. I just could not deal with the frustration. Currently carrying a freebie canvas tote bag until I regroup.

  11. I have a small older house somewhere close-in to a major city (like Arlington -> DC). The value is mainly in the land. If it costs $400K to add on some rooms (basically making a 2BR 1 bath house into a 4 BR 3 bath house), is that the point where you’d just tear the whole house down (and move out, which will be hard), which might cost $600K just for the house part of the build. Or add on (and live in the original part of the house while you do it)?

    I have no idea, even roughly, and everyone with an opinion (builder! real estate broker! guy who buys tear-downs!) is trying to see me something, so even if they were all sincere and above-board, they still may not fully appreciate a different perspective.

    The house was fine when it was just me, now there are 4 of us. Family visits often have to involve drinking or just being out of the house the whole day. Kidding. Sort of.

    1. Watch several episodes of Love it or List it. HGTV show that basically asks this same question. People choose different things, but I think this is something where you need to get a bunch of quotes, see what’s reasonable and what it will cost (adding 20% for contingency/old house ‘wtf’ moments), then look at houses for sale in your target area and basically figuring out what will work for you.

      For me, location is important. I would rather ‘deal’ in my prime location than have more space in a subpar location, but it sounds like you’ve clearly outgrown your home. I think having a couple quotes from a contractor or two and then doing some realtor visits may give clarity.

      1. agree with all of this and you have two kids…keep in mind that a major remodeling/build out of your home may require you to relocate for a period of time or at minimum, will require some inconvenience of construction project going on while you are living there….just be prepared to adjust for that.

      2. OMG — the original love it or list it was so me. Pricey neighborhoods where everything else in the ‘hood is even more shockingly expensive (and not necessarily better) and everything bigger is so much further out that you will die a slow death creeping home in traffic while social services picks them up for being abandoned for hours after their school aftercare has closed.

        I decided b/c it as all so overwhelming just to . . . repaint and declutter. And it worked for about 5 years and here I am again (very certain that I don’t want my kids to switch schools or to have a commute any more than I already am).

    2. Is there a $200k benefit to a total rebuild? Does the existing space work for your lifestyle? Or would a rebuild allow for a better layout, better energy efficiency or something else?

      Whichever road you choose,I’d encourage you not to think only in terms of square footage,beds and baths but functionality and style. I’m in the market to move/renovate and I see a TON of smaller homes with large rooms sort of “grafted” onto them in sloppy renovations. Like small cape cod styles with huge bedrooms upstairs with catherdral ceilings but the living /dining rooms still feel dark and cramped and not fun for hanging out. Or cute historical homes that are technically two full baths but one is on a main level where there are no bedrooms. Or “sun rooms ” added behind a colonial style home that only serve to make the kitchen very dark. The homeowners seem surprised that these aren’t selling like a well designed cohesive home of a similar size.

      I would think in your area there would be a ton of builders/contactors what have renovated older/historic homes well. I would ask around (maybe even knock on neighbors’doors or get in touch with realtors).

      1. Along a similar vein, in Houston we call these “humper houses.” When the large house is… well you get the name.

        1. Is that like the camelback ones in New Orleans? My eye got used to them. But I have seen some horrid stuff in suburbia throughout the SEUS that tries and fails at the same idea.

      2. There is definitely a point at which square footage cannot overcome bad design. Think of all the houses that you’ve been in – grew up in, your friends’ houses growing up, houses you look at now – and you can definitely see that some of them use space very poorly and some use it well.

        The proportions of the rooms can end up being really off, too (through renovations or just poor design) – minuscule master bath, a master bedroom barely big enough for a king-size bed, but a huge second living room.

    3. You need to look at what current comps are selling for. In a total vacuum I’d say to tear down and start over, because however good an addition it may be, there are always differences between the new and old parts of the home, and it will be far easier to design a layout from scratch. But that may make absolutely no financial sense based on what current new construction sells for, as compared to the investment of Original Home Price + 600K…

      1. +1 except I’d argue that the current value of the home is what should be factored in the equation. If your home is currently worth $750K, & it would be $600K to do the full tear down = $1.35 mm. Could you alternatively just buy a 4×3 in your neighborhood for less than $1.35 (even with a little wiggle room to the upside as there is value in not having to do the construction process)? I think that’s how you should think about it, b/c that $750K is the value of the current asset, not what you originally paid for it.

      1. FWIW, I talked to an architect who works in a lot of older areas and she said that in a good house, you won’t get the charm/quality at a do-able price in a new build (e.g., types of moulding, plaster walls vs drywall, built-ins, flooring). But in a bad older house (dark, weird layout, wiring is horribly out of date, etc.), it might be worth tearing down (b/c you have good space, why spend $ to rebuild what you have if it is good — drywall and builder-grade items might not be any better and might well be worse).

        I guess that is the key thing: is the space good space? And are you getting a frankenhouse or something that fits together.

        I had a house with 3BR/1 BA upstairs. Adding BR 4 and a bath upstairs and a den/covered porch downstairs actually worked, but I can see how with a cape cod or ranch, it wouldn’t. Rich people have fab houses that you can just throw a wing or port-cochere onto and it doesn’t look weird at all (in fact charming), so it can be done well at a certain price point at least.

    4. Honestly, you’ll probably have to move out (or would want to) either way. And I would expect that the design costs would be less with a new-build. Unless there’s something specific worth keeping in the current home (historic value, etc.), I would tear down.

      1. FWIW, I’ll add we looked into this and priced it all… and ended up moving instead.

    5. We were in this exact position — we bought a house for $850k, of which lot value is about $650k. We were looking at a gut job that would cost about $300k, or tearing down and rebuilding at a cost of about $800k (but a commensurate increase in home value, too), both of which options would require us to move out and rent for a year.

      We ended up realizing that rather than spending either the $300k OR the $800k, and being displaced for a year while they do the work, not to mention the mental energy and stress of administering all that, we’d be better off selling our current house and moving into a new house at a higher price point that is already built the way we want, even with the transaction costs. So, we decided to stay put for another year at least, build up a bit more equity in the house, and then consider moving into a house that already has everything we want (rather than building it ourselves). Something to consider.

      1. I have yet to encounter anyone who, when faced with the question of “tear down and rebuild or sell and buy something else” didn’t decide it was cheaper and easier to sell the house and buy something different. For me, the location would have to be so amazingly ridiculously great, and there would have to be literally nothing else I could afford within 5 miles of it, to make it worth a tear-down and rebuild. Remember that you also have to factor not just the costs of renting while the house is rebuilt but possibly extra transportation, putting things in storage, etc. Plus no major construction project I’ve ever been involved in comes in at the estimated cost – it’s usually 10-20% over; and very few of them get completed according to the project schedule either. OP, have you looked on the real-estate websites to see what’s for sale near you? If you bought small a number of years ago and don’t have much of a mortgage payment, you may be able to float finding the exact right new house, buying that, moving, and then selling the old one (we did that last year). It wasn’t always sunshine and roses but it was doable and we are very happy now. Thinking about the sheer hassle of trying to work, raise two kids, and manage a tear-down and rebuild project makes me want to break out in hives. If you sell and move, it’ll be over in a few months. The tear-down/rebuild route, you could be looking at 18 months to two years of misery.

        1. I know two people who decided to do a major renovation (basically down to the studs + expansion. In both cases, the houses were small houses purchased by one partner pre-marriage and pre-kids, in an amazing location where property value had increased so much that they couldn’t afford to buy anything comparable in the area even with the equity. The renovation process was long and inconvenient. One couple stayed and dealt with it, and the other couple moved for at least part of the renovation because they literally took the roof off the house and added an upstairs. Both renovations/additions were super expensive, but both are magazine quality (and one was actually in a magazine).

          1. A “major reno” and a “complete teardown” are two different things.
            LOL, I love the lawyers (and wannabes) on this board who apparently just cannot.stop.arguing and will argue with literally anyone about literally anything…what a way to live life
            P.S. who cares if someone’s house is in a magazine? 5 years later, it will be “dated” and the homeowner won’t even be able to claim bragging rights.

    6. My MIL lives in Vienna and she is in a brick / vinyl house in the middle of teardown city. The new builds that I see there are . . . not great. Basically, boxes to maximize size of house on the lot and the boxiness makes them cheaper to build. No $ on landscaping — it’s just a box on a lot with grass and a chain link fence. I haven’t seen a middle ground, but they must exist somewhere?

      I have one of the ubiquitous red brick ranches in the area that is absolutely outdated, but the bathroom footprint is good and the bedrooms are generous, which I’ve not seen in secondary bedrooms in new builds (massive master and secondary bedrooms that seem full with a twin bed, dresser and some toys), and the floors are wood (my allergies are so bad that I need them or tile or at least not carpet). It was hard to find that in a new build. We got it rewired and got new appliances. See what a new build actually gets you — it may be cohesive but you may hate it in 10 years. Or you may not care if it doesn’t change your commute / kids schools.

      1. Ugh. That red brick ranch sounds like the perfect family home. You’re so right about the generous bedroom sizes. IMHO,these homes just hit the sweet spot btween spacious but not wasteful. Plus,it’s easy to open a kitchen or create a easy access to a back deck,which makes them great for parties. I’m my area they often have basements, which are great kids’ spaces. Plus, you’re not tied into any particular decorating style and could even go with that modern warm minimalist vibe that just seems so chic to me these days. Have you seen the ranch homes where they remove the attic/mechanicals and have high ceilings in the main rooms? I think those are gorgeous.

    7. My husband and I are in this exact situation. The land is where nearly all (at least 85%) of the value lies. We’re fortunate, though, in that our house isn’t too small for us. We’re hoping to have 2 kids, which will fill it up with an extra bedroom to spare. We don’t want to sell – as it would almost ensure the demolition of my husband’s family home, and the location is basically perfect. We expect to do a significant renovation to open up some walls, update the kitchen, and increase bathroom size. But we DO NOT expect to do a second story add-on as recommended by a contractor. We just don’t need the space – I already have a basement I only see once a week. I don’t need a whole additional story…

    8. People in my area either remodel or move to a condo and rebuild. That’s because you get your original basis for property taxes and then only gradually experience property tax increases. I would drive around your area and see if you can find attractive remodels and rebuilds, so you can see what you can do with similar properties. Real estate open houses are great for this. If you find something you like find out who the architect and builders were. Otherwise you can end up spending a lot and not getting good work. Also try looking at local real estate magazines, you may find good ideas and contractors to interview there. If you are the kind of person who likes projects like this and you have time to manage the project, it can be very rewarding. But don’t do it if you are indecisive, don’t know what you want or don’t have time to check the progress daily.

    9. Bay Area here. I was in this situation and we decided to pull the trigger and move. We could not figure out a way to make our darling starter house a bigger house without turning it into a Frankenhome. When we looked for new houses, I was obsessed with a house that had bigger bones – I wanted a bigger living room, bigger everything, not a little house that had been expanded. We ultimately found what I wanted in our neighborhood but it took years of aggressively stalking the market (we live in a super low inventory area). We’re still going to do some renovations, but it is staggering to see how much easier it is to renovate a house that is bigger to begin with, instead of expanding a house beyond where its DNA really is. Bottom line: I highly recommend moving.

  12. Jumping on the bag questions today. I have a Dagne Dover that I don’t use often any more. I think it’s the “classic tote” size, although it’s from an era where names were slightly different. There is some wear on the handles – cracking where they hinge. Is it worth trying to sell a bag like this, and if so any recommendations for s*tes? Or if it’s too much hassle to make it worth the trouble, I’ll just donate it.
    I’m in Canada, for what it’s worth, which makes some of the re-seller sites more difficult I think. And it makes shipping expensive.

      1. Poshmark is now available in Canada. In my experience it’s not as good as in the US, they are still working things out and the market in smaller, but it’s worth a try. Not sure what city you are in but I’ve sold a number of items on Craigslist/Kijiji/Facebook Marketplace

      1. Thanks, but last time I tried that here I was jumped on by an angry horde of internet police. Not opening that can of worms again!! I’ll try Poshmark or Kijiji.

    1. There’s a FB group that does buy/sell on DD – Dagne Dover Appreciate Society.

  13. Random recommendation and also advice needed. Recommendation: Sleepytime Extra Tea. Not the regular Sleepytime, the “Extra” kind has valerian root in it. I’m a diagnosed insomniac and this stuff knocks me out. Available on Am*zon. Advice needed: what do you do when you have BO but no means of showering or changing? I’m not a particularly sweaty or smelly person but lately when experiencing acute stress I produce some serious BO, typically at work or in court. TIA!

    1. Hello, I am a sweaty person! Stress sweat does indeed smell worse than workout/general sweat. Dress shields, those “shower sheets” you can get at target/drugstores, plus a little travel-size deodorant in my desk at all times.

      1. Alcohol wipes or a hand sanitizer, and then reapply the deodorant anti-perspirant. The alcohol kills the bacteria causing the smell

        1. +1 to the alcohol wipes.

          Try to stick to natural fabrics and if anything has experienced stress sweat, use a “sport” detergent when you launder. I’ve found that stress sweat has a way of getting trapped in fabric or reawakening any odor that might be trapped in fabric.

          For the record, I’m not a sweaty person. Most days, I feel totally clean and don’t even give it a thought. But I pretty much want to burn afterward anything that I did a public speaking event in…

    2. This might be crazy, but when I took valerian supplements for anxiety they gave me terrible, awful smelling gas. Tiny chance the two parts of your post are (unintentionally) related?

      1. Valerian smells absolutely horrendous, but my cat loves it (and all other strong smells).

        1. Oh yeah, I should add, it’s not great tasting. It’s not horrible, to me at least, but I’m definitely not drinking it for the taste (I say this as someone who enjoys tea a lot)

    3. I had the same problem (also my diet of Indian and Chinese food heavy in spices and garlic was not helping) but switching to men’s deodorant, specifically old spice because it doesn’t have a strong fragrance, really helped.

    1. Thank you for the lower priced recs! Love the pick above but way more than my budget.

      Also, I seem to have a hard time with shirt dresses. I have one that I wear, but I still feel slightly awkward in it. Have I just not found one that fits great? Are they more difficult with short waists?

      1. Have you tried J. McLaughlin shirt dresses? I love them. They travel well. I usually find them new or slightly used on Poshmark so have never paid full price. I have three of them and wear them all the time.

  14. I’m on a nonprofit board and we are struggling to retain members. The board has set aside time this fall for strategic planning sessions, and we just had our first one last night. They have no facilitator, no structure, no framework for strategic planning. We don’t have a budget line item to pay someone to help us, and I got overwhelmed when I googled for resources. Any suggestions that are free or low cost (under $100) that I could donate/recommend?

    1. What is the structure of your Board? Do the people on it know how to run one? Who sends out the agenda? Is there a clerk, a Chair, any of that?

      What city are you in? Boston has a “Get on Board” seminar run by the Arts & Business Council that is very inexpensive and you could recommend to the Board members.

      1. We have some experienced members, but none of them have led a strategic plan before. One woman has been on and off the board for twenty years, but she wondered if our current model (focus issue rotates every five years or so) is outdated…She pondered that but didn’t offer any framework to evaluate the model. I think we’re going to flounder and just talk at the problem for hours instead of analyze it.

        1. Sounds like a Junior League. If so, the national association should be able to give you plenty of materials and/or consulting time. Mine just went through this, as we do a Strategic Planning ad hoc committee every five years. Membership retention and diversity have been a core concern forEVer. Do you ever do membership satisfaction surveys? Questionnaires when someone leaves the organization?

    2. If your local United Way has a Center for Nonprofit Excellence, reach out to them. They generally have two things: 1. a directory of consultants who are willing to do pro-bono or low-cost work for nonprofits and 2. trainings on how to run a nonprofit board, sometimes also facilitation training.
      You can also look at Catchafire or Taproot, two organizations that connect professionals who want to do pro-bono work with nonprofits looking for help. I have volunteered my time as a facilitator and consultant to nonprofits in my area through Taproot.

    3. I’d say you need to rework your budget to allow for a facilitator/strategic planner.

    4. Deloitte ( and probably other consulting firms) has a program where you can apply for them to assist pro bono.

  15. Random Q- I actually did get an Hermes scarf for a milestone birthday several years ago, but the color palette is not at all flattering near my face. What is the best way to basically trade it for a different Hermes scarf? Sell it on The Real Real and buy one from there as well? E bay? I live a couple hours away from the nearest major city, so I don’t have access to much in the way of high end consignment, etc. unless I want to drive.

    1. The real real! I’ve bough many scarves from them and think the newer patterns/styles and the more unusual colorways get snapped up. If you have it, the box helps too.

      1. Second this! Professional framing is $$$, but try Frame It Easy (or other online framing service). I framed a beautiful but not wearable Hermes scarf for about $100. In case anyone finds it helpful, I bought a 35.5×35.5 frame with no mat.

  16. I’ve been dealing with semi-frequent (a couple every few days) facial pulsing (spasms?). This usually involves localized pulsing in an area of the face for a few minutes (this morning it was my chin) that is visible but not painful. It feels like the kind of intense pulsing you’d feel while wearing a face mask. I have not changed my diet or skincare in any significant way (I have added serums, but the pulsing preceded this). I went to see my doctor and she ran a blood test and everything showed as normal. Has anyone dealt with this? It’s more annoying than anything, but I’m also a bit concerned. Thanks!

    1. Stress? My eye and chin twitch when I’m seriously stressed. My eye also twitches when I’m getting a migraine.

      1. +1, my lower eyelid will twitch if I’m very stressed or very tired (these often go together so hard to tell which it is…)

        1. Thanks, guys! I haven’t felt much stress lately and I’ve been consistent with my sleep schedule, but those are both things I’ll keep an eye on!

        1. Second this recommendation. I experience this and have been diagnosed with MS. I have many more symptoms and issues that go along with that diagnosis so I’m not suggesting that you have something like that, but can’t hurt to consult with a neurologist.

    2. I get that every so often, particularly eye twitches — it’s usually related to stress. I’ve heard that quinine helps so go ahead and have a gin & tonic. :D

  17. I am looking at getting an air purifier for my bedroom area. I live in an apartment where the upstairs/bedroom area is lofted with no door and a half-wall looking over downstairs, so I’m concerned that any room-size air purifier would make no difference since there’s no real way to shut off the room. But I can’t afford- and won’t be able to afford- one of the big home-size/very large room air purifiers. Will it make a difference in a semi-enclosed space or is it just throwing money away?

    And, does anyone have any recommendations for a bedroom sized purifier if it makes sense? Would like to stay under $175. Room is 192sqft.

    Thanks!

      1. +1 a bunch of us have this one, it’s great and the Wirecutter’s recommendation. It makes a noticeable difference in the main area of my home, which is probably 800 sq. ft. of open space.

      2. We have this one too and it makes a huge difference when our friends with cat allergies come over.

    1. I use the Levoit Air Purifier LV-PUR131 which is for larger rooms. I use it in my open plan living/dining/kitchen area that also isn’t closed off from the rest of the space and it does really well

    2. Look at the Wirecutter. I have the one that they said was best at the time I bought one and it’s great.

  18. I will be going to Switzerland at the end of October…there probably won’t be snow yet, but I think it will still be very cold for me (Deep South). What are some recommendations that won’t break the bank for shoes and some layering pieces? I don’t want to spend too much and versatility is key, as well as low break in time for shoes. It will likely be too hot even in October to break in boots or anything like that.

    Any other rec or tips? We are flying into Zurich and that’s about all we have planned so far.

    TIA!

    1. For travel wardrobes for different climates try The Vivienne Files archives or Une Femme d’un Certain Age travel wardrobe archives. They both talk about layering, footwear, versatility etc. Some of the styles may skew “older” but the general ideas are great.

      For a great travel jacket, I like the packable Uniqlo ultralight down compact jacket. I love mine and it fits under my normal raincoat but it’s also slightly water repellant on its own. Definitely not a heavy down suitable for winter in Russia. It has its own stuffsack that is about the size of an 8oz latte. For $59.99 it is a good bargain for travel. So for Switzerland in October, you could wear it in the morning if it is cold and put it in your bag later in the day.

      1. +1 to the Uniqlo down jackets as an excellent, lightweight, not expensive travel jacket. They aren’t warm enough for full winter, but great for temps in the 50s, or 40s if you’re wearing a sweater or long sleeves under it.

      2. Thank you! Looking through those now. Definitely will be getting the uniqlo coat.

  19. I know people are sad (? not right word) that a new generation will only know Billy Ray Cyrus from Old Town Road.

    But has anyone else noticed that Trent Reznor has a songwriting credit on this? I am — grasping for words — intensely curious? Amazed that these people have anything in common? Wondering what each brought to the table?

    1. I have nothing to add to this particular question, but are anyone else’s little kids obsessed with this song? Listening to my 4-year-old’s interpretation of the lyrics has been one of the highlights of my month.

      1. YES! My kids went to camp and came back singing that song. It’s hilarious when they start rapping. :)

    2. Really? That is fascinating! I wonder if it was an old song Trent Reznor wrote and someone working for Billy Ray Cyrus picked it up somewhere and the rest is history?

      1. Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t write this song; Lil Nas X did. It’s actually a pretty fascinating history!

    3. I often see Trent Reznor’s name on stuff – he’s prolific beyond NIN! (and it’s pretty cool that he is just THAT talented)

    4. Johnny Cash’s Hurt is originally a Trent Reznor song. I enjoy both versions.

    5. That song has got to be a joke. It sounds like a bunch of guys were hanging out with some beverages and came up with the idea to write the world’s worst song and get it to #1.

      1. Actually no. The original artist of the song, Lil Nas X, has done several interviews about the inspiration of the song and where he was in his life when he wrote it. It went viral only after Billboard kicked it off the Hot Country charts for not being “country enough”.

    6. If you look at the Wikipedia page for the song, it seems like Trent didn’t actually write the song, but bc a NIN song is in, he gets writing credit.

  20. As if I don’t already feel strapped for free time with two young kids under 4 and a new job at a Fortune 500, I decided to start a blog. I recently went sober, and I feel like the sober mom perspective is really important and often lost in a sea of mommy wine related memes. I’d love any tips or tricks you may have on getting a blog off the ground. I have an insta account for the blog but that’s about it, and it’s hard work attracting followers!

    The blog is soberveganmom dot com.

    Thanks in advance!!!

    1. Insta is tough. I have a travel bl0g and although I still write on my webp*ge, I’ve basically quit Instagram. So many people follow to just to immediately unfollow as soon as you follow back, and I kept seeing my numbers and “engagement” plummeting. I was never famous or getting free trips to Europe or anything but at my peak I was a “micro influencer” (~2,500 followers) who got opportunities like partnering with cities in my state to do a hosted weekend getaway and write about it. Even though I was carefully “curating” my Instagram feed (using only high-quality DSLR photos, relevant content, keeping a focus on the overall aesthetic of my feed), I was basically losing not gain followers every time I posted and it seemed like nobody was liking my content. It started making me miserable and was taking away from what I wanted to do in the first place – which was share my photographs and do longer form writing about my travels. So I stopped posting there.
      Sorry to be so negative, but the people I’ve seen grow a massive following on Instagram (at least in the travel realm) either buy followers, have multiple adorable children (especially babies) they plaster all over their social media, or don’t have full time jobs and literally spend 10-12 hours per day following, liking and commenting on other accounts in hopes of getting a follow back. I use Twitter a lot more now (have more followers there than I ever did on Insta) and have found it to be a much nicer platform. You also don’t have to worry about generating a lot of your own content for that, you can rely on re-tweeting other people’s content that would be relevant to your followers (and people usually reciprocate), so it’s a lot easier to use it even if you’re only producing a bl0g post every month or two.
      Congrats on being sober! I’m not sober, but I have a lot of alcoholism in my family so I’ve opted out of mommy wine culture too. I know it can be rough socially. I will follow you :)

    2. I blogged back in the aughts and developed a rather nice following.

      Blog on a regular basis. The blogs that fall apart are ones that start off with a long, essay-like post, then taper off into nothingness two weeks later.

      Write about a wide variety of subjects – recipes, sobriety, your legal perspective on any HR news, business issues, etc.

      Be careful about blogging too much about your kids.

      Respond to all of the comments (except for the spammy ones). No one likes to comment into a vacuum.

      Write, write, and write. Refine your writing. Do not fall into the trap of everything as an essay – have some introspective pieces, some quick hits, some two paragraph posts. Write about what interests you, because it will be worthwhile for other people to read.

    3. No advice, but I just sent the link to my BFF who is a mom, vegan, and recently stopped drinking. She has also felt kind of isolated. I think you have an audience out there!

    4. Gently, very gently, I would suggest maybe changing the name? I just think Sober Vegan Mom will be off-putting to people who might otherwise really enjoy your content. Those two words just give the impression that it will be preachy and self-righteous, even if you personally are not at all like that.

      1. I don’t know, those two words are just descriptions to me, despite whatever stereotypes may exist about people who fit those categories. What are less-self-righteous synonyms for the words vegan or sober? I think it’s important to communicate to people what the focus of the blog is about.

      2. i thought “ooh interesting!” when I read sober mom….. then I saw the vegan in there and thought “oh wait that’s not me.”

        my point is: i agree, the name is so specific that it may put some people off even though the content and spirit may be amazing!

      3. This is what subtitles are for. “Below the Legal Limit: come for the sobriety journey, stay for the employment law.”

      4. Thanks for the feedback. I honestly thought the title might be too severe, but then again, I didn’t want something too corny like “Tofu & Tonic.” I’ll definitely give the title more thought though.

        1. As a non-vegan, non-sober mom, I would never click on soberveganmom but I would probably check out Tofu & Tonic. Just stuff to think about.

    5. Can you get yourself invited onto a podcast? Especially a mom-themed podcast would be smart to do an episode about the “mommy wine” thing.

      1. My friends do the Mommying While Muslim podcast — they don’t drink, perhaps obviously. Maybe you could guest on one of their podcasts?

    6. It’s easier to post two or three times a week than once a week. I’ve seen blogs dwindle into nothing because the habit of posting frequently wasn’t there.

  21. Is anyone passionate about your toothpaste? I’ve been using my husband’s Sensodyne because we got a bunch at Costco and it’s fine/meh; we ran out and I picked up a Colgate Total and am shocked how much I hate the design of the tube. Anything I should try?

    1. I like good old Arm and Hammer. It’s a classic tube which is surprisingly hard to find now a days! And it’s pretty gentle on my sensitive teeth without Sensodyne’s inability to get any stain off.

    2. Gently, do you really need to crowd-source your toothpaste? Just go buy something else in a tube design you don’t hate.

      1. ETA, I think it makes sense to crowd-source if you have special allergies or restrictions, but not when you’re looking for something that just doesn’t require a lot of background research.

    3. I am! I realized there are two things I am looking for in a toothpaste generally: SLS-free and a non-mint flavor (I’m not anti-mint, I just find mint boring). Trader Joe’s has a Fennel, Propolis, and Myrrh one that I LOVE but it doesn’t have any fluoride.

      1. Do your teeth *feel* clean after you scrub them with fennel and mint? This is so hard for me to imagine.

  22. I’m the poster from Friday asking about backpacks. I found The Backpack from Poppy Barley (thank you whoever recommended the brand!). It addresses all of my points and looks sleek. Does anyone have it? I’m concerned a. it will be too big for me (5’1″, size 4ish) and b. that it will be too heavy because leather.

      1. Gently, that looks GINORMOUS and I think you are right to be concerned about both proportions and weight (although the reviews claim it isn’t that heavy).

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