ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Francis Ballet Flat

This Sam Edelman flat looks like it was inspired by the popular Chloe flat — but it has a much more affordable price. (Also check out this flat from the same brand, which we've featured before in our guide to the most comfortable ballet flats for work.) The pictured shoe is at Amazon in 12 colors for as low as $47.99, and it's also at 6pm, and at Shopbop in Havana Red (which isn't available at the other stores mentioned). Sam Edelman‘s website has it marked down to $59.99 in a lot of colors. Francis Ballet Flat (Psst: Flats are great, but have you checked out our guide to comfortable heels for work?)  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

190 Comments

  1. Yay Kat! These flat’s are cute but I need to look taller then flat’s allow me to. You may have women on this site that are alot taller, and for them flat’s work, but when you are short and stubby, with a tuchus like mine, the LAST thing I want to be seen in are flat’s! FOOEY!

  3. Re-posting from this morning: I’m looking to take my 15 year old daughter to Montreal and Quebec for about a week in July. Any recommendations for places to stay/things to do? We’re hoping for a combination of standard tourist stuff with some things that may be unique or off the beaten path. Daughter is into art, books and slightly adventurous food-wise. Thank you!

    1. What a great trip! Here are a few recommendations for each:

      Montreal
      – The Montreal Museum of Fine Arts is lovely.
      – Walk up Mount Royal and spend some time in the neighborhoods around there.
      – Mile End is a very cool, artsy neighborhood.
      – There are tons of summer festivals, so find out if you’ll be able to see music/circus/other shows in clubs or in the parks
      – With limited time in Montreal, I regretted schlepping out to the Botanical Gardens
      – Restaurants: Olive & Gourmando (there’s great shopping nearby), O.Noir, Le Deux Gamins

      Quebec City
      – I stayed at Le Frontenac with Fairmont points – highly recommend it if you can swing it. If you’re not staying there it’s fun to just check out.
      – Walk on top of the walls.
      – Old Town is lovely with lots of fun shops and restaurants.
      – The history museums are pretty campy but fun.
      – If you’re debating about how much time to spend in each city, I’d recommend airing on the side of more time in Montreal.

      1. I’d actually vote the opposite on time allocation. Montreal is more like visiting a large city, kind of like Chicago. Quebec City has a more vacation, self contained wander around and eat vibe to it. Plus, it is further north so the weather is better during the summer.

        For Quebec City, I’d recommend doing a tour of the churches. The role of the Catholic Church in that city is immense and the churches are beautiful. Even if you are not religious, the role of the church is fascinating. We really like meandering around Avenue Cartier because it has a less touristy vibe with cafes, grocery stores and the closest liquor store to the old quarter (SAQ). The whole neighborhood around there is great, and even though it is less English, there is generally someone willing to translate. There are also musicians and circus performers out most nights (with stands set up to watch) so plenty of free entertainment.

    2. Ile d’Orleans right outside of Quebec City. It’s an agricultural island – very beautiful to drive/walk around and wonderful food.

      1. Also, if your daughter is artsy, check out the St. Roch district in Quebec. It’s about a 20 minute walk from the old town that everyone goes to but is very much the up-and-coming hipster area with cool stores and restaurants.

    3. If this is not too late…. when you’re in Quebec City a day trip to Tadoussac is an incredible place for whale watching on the St. Lawrence & it’s a beautiful drive etc.

    4. I was just in Montreal and it was fantastic. We stayed at L’Hotel which has all sorts of cool pop art in the lobby and guest rooms and we did a bike tour of the city with Fitz & Follwell. I can’t recommend the bike tour enough. Our guides were incredible and it was a really great way to see the city.

    5. If she’s into food, I highly recommend taking a food tour in Montreal. I did the Mile End Montreal Food Tour, which was guided by someone who was able to tell us all about the history and everything you normally get on a walking tour, but we also stopped at 6 different restaurants and got to try a ton of delicious local food (including the famous bagels!). On another day, I rented a bike, which is a great way to explore the city. There are a ton of bike paths, and if you stick by the river it’s flat.

  4. Can anyone recommend an ergonomic mouse? The ones that are well-reviewed on Amazon all seem to also have reviews saying they’re not good for small hands. My hands aren’t tiny, but they’re fairly small, with short thumbs.

    1. I have the Evoluent vertical mouse and I love it. And I have small-ish hands. It has been a lifesaver for me with carpal tunnel.

      1. I have the Evoluent VerticalMouse 4 and I also love it. I had serious “mouse arm” until I got the vertical mouse. Game changer.

    2. I have the RollerMouse Pro2 and it has been an absolute game changer for relieving hand pain. It’s in a totally different position, but it took 2 days, tops, to get used to. I bought one for home after loving the one at work so much. Bonus is that because of design, I use with both left and right arms.

    3. For a moment I thought this said “ergonomic mousse” and I was wondering how big your hair must be to affect your posture. :)

    4. Logitech M705. It’s smaller because it’s a travel mouse. I have tiny hands and love it. Have been using for 5 years, still going strong and so easy to throw into my bag for travel. I’m never without it.

    5. The Logitech MX Master. It’s fantastic, really. At first it seemed too large for my small hands (and I have short thumbs too), but when I got used to it I found it far more comfortable than smaller mice or even medium-sized mice.

  5. Does anyone have any tips for a single lady looking for a new apartment? I’m a little ashamed to admit that because my dad helped me find my current place, I’ve never really done this on my own.

    1. Are you looking for woman-specific tips or just general advice about apartment hunting…?

      1. Both. I’m concerned about people thinking they can pull one over on me because I’m female, and concerned that because I don’t have much experience with this that they might get away with it.

        1. If someone pulls one over on you it will have nothing to do with your gender and everything to do with your inexperience.

        2. Asking kindly – get away with what? Renting an apartment isn’t exactly like buying a used car. They usually advertise the price of the unit right up front. Should someone tell you when you get there that the unit is anything different than that, just leave.

        3. CHeck with your State’s AG website on what the Tenant/Landlord laws are in your state. I know our state has a handbook to for Tenants (though all states might not do this). Tenant/LL laws can vary between states, so it’s important to know what is applicable for you state.

    2. It would probably help to include your location – I think a lot of apartment-hunting advice is probably pretty area-specific.

      1. Atlanta area. Looking around the perimeter for apartments that are primarily affordable and safe. Not overly concerned with bells and whistles.

        1. There are lots of big corporate chains in Atlanta and you should be able to get an idea of pricing/floor plans online. So many of their terms are standardized that you shouldn’t get as much runaround, although the prices may be a bit higher. There’s nothing wrong with taking a friend along to go look at a couple of places if you need a second set of eyes. (I’ve done this for both male and female friends).

        2. Big developer buildings/complexes are the easiest in the sense that they have standard rent terms that are often online so it’s less likely that they’ll jack up the rates on you bc you seem to never have done this before — individual landlords do that sort of thing more. Ask/make sure they have maintenance onsite. Don’t go for the first floor as a woman living alone. Try to avoid any apartments that are right next to elevator banks (noise) or trash chutes (can get smelly esp on weekends when there is less custodial staff around).

    3. It depends on what you’re looking for to be honest. Do you want a fully supported complex with tons of amenities? Do you know the neighborhood you want? Zillow aggregates from most of the website rent postings. You can search by city or zipcode and then add filters like bedrooms, rent, etc.

    4. When I looked for an apartment a few years ago, I made a list of my non-negotiable requirements, and then I blocked out a day and looked at every single place in town that met those requirements. (For me it was mainly laundry in the unit — I was too old to be schlepping my laundry basket!)

      Also, call ahead and make appointments because when I was helping my son look for apartments a lot of the rental offices were closed on weekends.

      Have a current paystub ready because they will probably ask for that.

    6. I would not rent on the first floor / English basement. Too many problems with peepers / push-ins (esp. if window unit A/C). I’d go second floor or higher. And not near the elevator — too noisy.

      1. But probably not on the top floor if it gets hot in the summer. Top floor units are hottest in hot weather.

    7. My one tip is to visit the location at night before you decide. I visited an apartment during the daytime that I thought would be fine, but at night I was afraid to get out of my car.

      1. Yes this! Also, if you’re bothered by noise- take a moment to listen to the surroundings. Do your neighbors have barking dogs? Does your window open near a loud generator/AC unit? Check the water pressure in the shower.

    8. At big apartment complexes: ask to see the specific unit you’ll be renting and pay attention to possible noise concerns inside it (is it right next to a huge bank of AC units that will be on all the time?), and ask them if they have a look-and-lease policy where they’ll give you a discount if you sign a lease within a certain amount of time. I’ve always leased from corporate-owned multi-unit buildings that use standard lease forms, so negotiating the rent or worrying about being taken advantage of weren’t really issues.

      If you’re leasing from an individual, read the lease carefully and understand what you’re signing. And probably negotiate more on the rent? I’m not sure. I know at the big places they don’t negotiate much, but if you’re leasing direct from the owner I would imagine they do. I have no experience with that though.

      1. It depends on demand. If you know that the place is vacant and has been on CL for a while, then yes. But on hot units, generally no. Individual LLs are more likely to just say no to a tenant who starts off demand-y, esp. if there is someone else who will take it at the list price.

      2. I am an individual LL. I won’t negotiate rent. I monitor comparable listings in my neighborhood all year, and I’m pretty aware of what I can ask. I might be willing to negotiate on some things like use of parking space, use of storage space, replacing old blinds or appliances if needed. (I’ll refuse to replace anything that works after we sign the lease). I’ve never had a problem finding a renter, and most of our tenants have stayed for several years.

    9. A tip from my Dad years ago on assessing neighborhoods you aren’t that familiar with: Look at the cars that are parked around. How well do they look maintained? (Mind you, this was to me who was driving a crappy car that was always filled with wrappers and the like. ) Visit at different times of day–not just to assess safety but also to get a sense if your commute time might wildly swing by time of day. What’s the parking situation like at different times of day? Will those visiting you be competing with retail customers on weekends or with restaurants/bars at night? How well lit is the entrance? Ask them about how shoveling is managed, if appropriate. If in an urban area, how high will you be? If you’re near busy streets, higher floors help keep out some of the noise.

    10. Not sure if this is true in the Atlanta area, but in D.C. / Alexandria I used a realtor who helped me find a great place (no cost to me as a renter) – years later, she helped us find a wonderful house. Good luck!

  6. Maybe someone else has had this issue and can help. I want to wear my pretty spring/summer dresses without tights, because it’s hot. But my legs are constantly bruised because I bruise easily and I play contact sports. I don’t know the last time my legs looked clean and not completely sloppy.

    Should I suck it up and wear pants/tights all summer? Anything else I can do? Does self-tanner help, or any bruise cream? Makeup? What do you think when you see someone with bruised legs dressed professionally?

    1. Personally I mix Sally Hansen airbrush legs with my lotion after I take a shower in the morning. It’s not as artificial looking as self-tanner tends to be (on me), and I find it helps the bruises blend a bit.

    2. My legs are constantly bruised and have small cuts. I am very pale so it’s definitely visible, I haven’t/won’t do anything about it. If someone is bothered by my bruised legs in the summer, they’ll get over it.

      3. +1

        Do not understand why this is a thing people would care about. Bruises on my legs indicate some combination of basic clumsiness or an awesome weekend. How is that bad?

          1. There are probably an infinitesimally small number of people who would jump straight to that, and wearing tights if you don’t want to is just not worth it to avoid that.

          2. Yes? People think lots of things that aren’t true, so?

            Don’t get me wrong, I would want someone who is suffering from abuse to feel comfortable reaching out if that is what he or she wanted/needed, but I am still not sure why I should care about covering my bruises from my life activities?

          4. Oh, I’m not saying cover them. The person asked why is that something someone would care about. I gave a possible reason.

          5. I once had a coworker pull me aside and ask if everything was okay at home with “Jane” because he noticed her bruises. It was totally coming from a good place. I explained that she got the bruises from an outdoor activity (which she had previously told me about.)

    3. My legs are always bruised from various gym and cycling mishaps, Nerf gun battles/wrestling matches with my son, and gardening (not lady-gardening, the regular kind) and I honestly never thought a thing about wearing skirts and dresses. If someone was rude enough to say something, I’d probably come back with “yep, I live a pretty active lifestyle, life comes at me pretty fast!” and leave it at that.

    4. If I notice at all, I’m thinking that they have an active life outside of work and good for them.

      Signed,
      Another bruiser

    5. Same here. Blotches and bruises are not a bug, they are a feature of human beings’ legs.

    6. Love reading these fellow bruisers comments. I’ve never done much to cover them either.

    7. Just wear whatever you want to wear. We women worry way too much about stuff like this. Wear your bruises loud and proud and recruit office friends to your sports teams.

      1. Totally.

        The only time I’ve ever had anyone mention a bruise in any context other than a ‘woah! what crazy thing did you do!’ was to be privately asked about a bruise when they were concerned it may have had DV associations. Tactful and best intentions were there.

        (Note: the bruise was totally massive and clearly showed finger marks and was the result of someone grabbing me as I was getting knocked off a dock combined with some medical things. It was pretty epic and of course it happened in the middle of a heat wave when I was brand new to an office.)

    8. My legs are always bruised (because mountain biking is awesome) and I’ve decided I don’t care, but after one particularly bad crash last month that involved gigantic bruises + road rash, I decided to wear pants for a while so I wouldn’t shock my coworkers. Soon the dresses go back on!

      2. Also, I once got headbutted by a horse and had a pretty spectacular black eye that took a long time to go away. That one was trickier than bruised legs – nobody is going to ask about your black eye, but a lot of people will jump to conclusions. I wish I could have worn a t-shirt that said “my horse did this!” I felt kind of self-conscious.

    9. I also bruise easily, though I don’t play contact sports. I’m just clumsy. I also find my legs aren’t looking as smooth as they used to. So I decided this was the year I was going to stop wearing bare legs in the office, and I investedin a bunch of nude hose varieties – sheer, fishnet, etc.

      That lasted about a month. I find opaque tights extremely comfortable but nude hose are the devil. The crotch seam was always rubbing me the wrong way, and the sheer ones ran if I so much as looked at them funny.

      I’m back to bare legs with a little help from Jergens (the fair/light gradual lotion) and if someone is offended by my legs they can just go right ahead and be offended.

    10. I use sunless tanner in the summer. Without it, I’m a veiny, bruised, road hazard (as in, if you want to take an evening stroll and don’t have reflective tape, I’m your girl).

    12. I own horses and ski, so I frequently have bruises on my legs (and sometimes arms). I don’t worry about covering them up – if someone has a problem with it, that says more about them than it does about me. Whatever.

      1. And I have super pale legs (don’t get much sun as I wear breeches at the barn). Again, don’t care, don’t bother with self-tanner or anything.

    13. I always thought it was just me! I agree with the others that I don’t really do anything about it, but I’m constantly looking at some giant bruise on my leg thinking “how the heck did I do that and not notice it?”

    14. It’s not something I notice on people, but I vote for embracing your bad-a$$ery and saying (if anyone is mannerless enough to ask) something along the lines of “oh this? I got this during my black belt test for jiu jitsu/while I was hang gliding/wakeboarding etc” or the classic “You should see the other guy!”

      1. I used to do martial arts pretty seriously and it wasn’t uncommon for me to have finger-shaped bruises around my wrists. My colleagues got used to it but sometimes I had to trot out those lines for opposing counsel or clients…

    15. Personally, IDGAF. However, if it makes you self-conscious, you can always try to use Arnicare. It’s supposed to help with the bruising. Use the cream or gel.

    16. Just wear all the dresses and skirts. My knees and shins are constantly bruised from sports and I just don’t care if people see that. If we are going to an event where we will be taking photos, I do sometimes use a concealed stick to make the bruises blend in better.

  7. I’d like to get some solid financial advice, but when I search for financial planners in my area, I am only finding Raymond James affiliates and similar. I don’t really need help with investments: just setting priorities, budgeting, and, hopefully, confirming I’m on the right track in my financial life. Who/what should I be looking for?

    1. You might be better off looking for a community class? Like at a city rec center or maybe even religious org that hosts one. Are you a part of any affinity communities that might be able to help you locally?

    2. You want a fee-only planner. You can find them via the CFP designation.

      Morningstar’s website also has a very good comprehensive self-education portal.

      Books that are good include
      Get a Financial Life by Kobliner
      Suze Orman books
      Smart Women Finish Rich by Bach

      Posting link below to avoid mod.

    3. There’s a reason. No one provides the type of advice you’re asking about for free. Yes, some financial advisors offer a bit of what you’re looking for, but it’s a hook. Budgeting and whatnot for those of us without millions of assets just isn’t available for free. I don’t think you want to pay for it either. Yes, check out books, online web resources, things like Quicken, etc.

    4. My friend Kelly left ‘large firm asset management’ after 15+ years to focus on financial advice and education for individuals with a specific focus on women. Several of us (both in and outside of the industry) helped beta-test her online workshop series and I think she’s had several classes of participants now.

      The series definitely covers budgeting, debt strategies, retirement savings, home buying, salary negotiations, and investing (although it sounds like you have that last one covered). If you’re interested, take a look at personalfinancewarrior [dot] com!

  8. Do you have any friends in your area who use planners/investment advisors that can refer you? Many advisors are willing to sit down with you for an intro meeting to figure out if you’d be a good match for their services, and even if you’re not a fit for what they do, they can still give you a “yes you’re on the right track” or “no” (usually the advice I give for that one is stop spending so much money.) I am a planner, and everyone who I’ve ever talked to about a glossy financial plan they’ve purchased would have been better investing the $2500 or putting it toward debt reduction. If your situation is relatively simple, try Learnvest – they do a free consultation w/ a planner, and if you do want a glossy plan, they’ll do it for WAY cheaper than most brick and mortars. Happy to email w/ you if you just have a few questions!

  9. I like these flats. I think they’d be smashing with slim ankle pants for the office

  10. My mom’s birthday is approaching rather quickly and I have no idea what to get her. I’m on a limited budget so am trying to keep it less than$30. About her: she doesn’t like “stuff” that clutters up the house, is impossible to purchase clothing/accessories for, doesn’t really like to cook/drink, has lots of grandchildren but tons of photos/frames already, and never ends up using the gift cards I get for her when I can’t think of anything else to get her. She’s also a master (mistress?) of giving away almost everything that other people give her – so I don’t want to give her something that she’ll then turn around and give to one of my siblings/cousins (she doesn’t realize this is kind of hurtful to the gift giver, even though I’ve pointed it out to her many times).

    She loves to listen to lectures, go to her exercise classes, and help out my siblings with their kids.

    Any ideas?? I’m racking my brain but am coming up with no good ideas.

    1. Really nice chocolate? Fancy fruit? Fancy cheese? These are all things I would love. haha

    2. Are you physically near her? Can you just take her out for brunch? My mom likes stuff like that. Or, maybe send flowers since they really have a finite shelf life and then she clear the house of them after they die. Are her exercise classes at a place where you can get her a gift card to help offset her cost? Or, what about a heartfelt card? I feel like my mom would appreciate that more than most items.

    3. Can you plan an experience gift for her? Take her to one of the lectures and dinner? Join her for an exercise class and then brunch after? Plan a family day with the grandkids to the zoo or wherever your family enjoys going? My mom is the same way in that it is really hard to shop for her. If she wants something, she just buys it and has very particular but hard to decipher taste. She really likes when we spend time with her so I try to plan gifts around that instead.

    4. Can you get her a gift certificate for the classes she likes to go to/call and prepay for her for a month/X classes? Consumables of things she uses — perfume, body wash, particular candles?

      A donation in her name to a cause she cares about?

    5. This is what edible gifts were invented for. Cookies? (Mail order from a catalog?) Cake? (A fancy ice cream cake from a local place?) Fruit? (Edible arrangements? Sherri’s Berries?)

      FWIW, some people aren’t gift people. I don’t really like gifts, and it has nothing to do with the giver and everything to do with me. My favorite gift? The one that makes me cry because I’m simultaneously relieved and genuinely happy? When someone makes a charitable donation in my name. That’s all the gift I need. (My favorite is something in the developing world – money toward a village well, mosquito nets, a flock of chickens, etc, but get anything you think the recipient would like.)

    6. Pay for a new exercise class? Maybe a voucher for you to go with her to said exercise class and then you can take her out after for brunch (or, like, smoothies if it fits your budget better)? I would try to give her the gift of time, if you’re available.

    7. Hmm so I don’t want to gift her food because she complains when there’s junk food in her house.

      She already has membership to 2 gyms and frankly isn’t interested in trying classes elsewhere. I did just think to maybe replace her gym bag, as she currently uses a dilapidated old bag.

      I do like the brunch idea, however! I think she would be pleased with that. organizing logistics might be a nightmare though, so keep the ideas coming please.

      And thanks for the great ideas so far :).

    8. Speaker to connect to her phone so she can listen to podcasts (and other lectures) while cleaning?

    10. I’m also not really a gift person and can sympathize with the desire for no clutter/stuff. I like the idea of time together – an exercise class and brunch, or maybe you could make her dinner and go out for a movie. Does she need any new exercise gear? Maybe some of her staples (like socks or headbands) need replacing.

    11. I know this may be depressing but here’s my experience. My mom just moved into a nursing home. I am slowly cleaning out her house when I can so that it can be rented. I’m donating or throwing away so many gifts that my siblings and I got her for Christmas, Mothers Day and her birthday over the years. No one wants them. They probably didn’t mean much to her or the gift givers in the first place.

      They’re not photo frames. Knickknacks. Books. Kitchen stuff. Accessories. Costume jewelry.

      All my mom really wanted was to spend time with us.

      Give your mom an experience gift that you share. Be with her. You’re her gift.

      2. Yes, this. No more stuff, no unhealthy food.

        If you think she’d like it, maybe a card and a donation to her favorite charity? (I realize this is a total know-your-recipient thing, but I thought I’d toss it out there…)

    12. What about a gift certificate to Kiva, a microlending organization? It’s fun to pick out a person to support and when the loan is repaid she can lend again or have $25 for herself.

      1. Or a gift certificate to Donors Choose, where she can pick a teacher and a project to fund, and then get the awesome thank you letters from kids?

        1. Ooh that is a good gift. She will later get thank you notes from the kids. It always makes my day, if not week, to receive one of those packets.

    13. What about an Audible subscription? Or another service that includes lots of recorded (good) content?

    14. How about a museum membership? Memberships to our local art museum include admission to special exhibitions and lectures.

    15. If she likes to do things with the grandkids, maybe a gift cert/membership for something fun to do with them? (Aquarium, museum, play space, etc). That’s a little bit more of a present for your siblings/niece & nephew but I know my mil would love something like that

  11. nom,

    Can you share the exact products that you use for your at home eyelash tinting?

    I’m a redhead with translucent eyelashes. I used to tint, but it was cut from schedule/budget.

    Thanks!!

    1. 1000 Hour Eyelash & Brow Dye/Tint, in the blue-black shade (amazon link to follow)

      As I mentioned in the first AAM thread, I also use disposable mascara wands for the application- brand doesn’t matter for this. However, for touching up roots I’ve recently switched to the soft little dental picks with tiny brushes on them (which is technically more expensive, but it’s the difference between 2¢ and 15¢, so whatevs). I feel like I’m really able to get down to the roots with these, bc you can bend them to get a better angle. Will also link to these as an example, though again brand is not crucial for these – you could probably dollar store source them.

  12. I just got diagnosed with borderline hypothyroidism. Any advice or experiences? I have a follow-up appointment this week to discuss with my doctor. I haven’t had any symptoms, really, though I have had a difficult time losing weight even with diet and exercise, so I’m hoping treatment will help with that.

    1. I have the opposite, but I suggest documenting all changes that you notice with your body. I had weird stuff happen and then I realized it was a symptom of the disease. It helped to know what to expect.

    2. I have hypothyroidism and I take levothyroxine on a daily basis. The only symptoms I had were feeling run down and tired all the time and having achy joints. I still feel tired occasionally, but that’s probably from poor diet and not getting enough sleep. When I was first diagnosed, I got an ultrasound of my thyroid. Otherwise, it’s just been blood work at my yearly physical.

    3. I was so grateful that I was diagnosed, because my doc started me on Armour Thyroid (now I take NaturThroid, I think–both are animal-derived T3 and T4) and within a few days I felt so much better. I had been experiencing some depression as well as some new reduced tolerance for exercise and both of these became significantly better. It is a totally fixable issue, which is nice!

      1. would love to hear what you mean by “reduced tolerance for exercise.” I have a thyroid disease but am unmedicated, and I suspect this may be one of my (many) symptoms. could you explain your experience with this?

    4. I recommend you find or keep a provider who will listen to his you feel vs. being tied to a certain TSH number. For example, I feel best when my TSH is 1.50. My providers were willing to increase my Synthroid dose to keep me there. Other providers might tell you that your TSH level is ‘normal’ so, essentially, you ‘should’ feel fine, even if you don’t.

      I know there are multiple points of view about this, but I also have a Dr who writes me prescriptions for Synthroid (as opposed to a generic). I’ve found it to work better for me than generic.

      My hypothyroidism has been as much art as science. Small differences in TSH levels make a huge difference to me. Pay attention to that & work with your provider to get to your ideal number – not mine or the number in a journal article.

      1. My mom is like this. She’s been hypothyroid for 20 years. Her thyroid level changing even slightly has a huge effect on her, and she’s had to fight with some providers to increase her dose of Synthroid to a level where she feels good. They’ll adjust her antidepressants before they’ll change her thyroid med, even if she knows her thyroid level is off, and even if she’s experiencing symptoms that antidepressants can’t help. And hypothyroidism has major systemic affects on people’s bodies. I don’t get it.

    5. I strongly recommend looking up the work of Izabella Wentz, and following her recommendations for choosing a care provider. Most GPs and endocrinologists do not provide good thyroid care; finding a doctor or nurse practitioner who does will make an enormous difference. Insufficient thyroid care can lead to snowballing problems down the road (especially with autoimmune thyroid problems), so good care from the beginning can save you a world of trouble later on.

  13. I bought this flat last year in green and have loved the pop of color. A word of warning, though: this shoe stretches out A LOT. Although it fit me perfectly in my usually Sam Edelman size for the first month or so, it stretched out pretty quickly. I’d order down 1/2 size if I did it again.

  14. At a networking event — do you let on (even subtly) that you aren’t particularly happy with your job and looking to move on? If it matters — the networking event is hosted by a law firm (not one where I would work – as they don’t have my practice area at all and are having financial troubles of their own) and will (hopefully) include invitees from other firms and possibly in-house clients. How do you suggest it without being Debbie downer? The way I’m seeing it — if I run across some from midlaw etc., I’d like to suggest I’m looking (or will be soon) so that I can then reach out later to that person; I feel like that’s harder when you play the — OMG my job is fabulous, love it so much – game. How do you handle?

    1. “Current job is going well, but I’m open to new opportunities for XYZ reasons (related to new firm).”

      Think of it as talking about why you want to go somewhere new, rather than why you want to leave the current place.

  15. Has anyone here been diagnosed with ADD as an adult?

    My therapist referred me to a physician to be evaluated. The physician gave me a short questionnaire and asked some questions; based on that he diagnosed me with combo ADD/ADHD and wrote me a prescription for Adderall.

    I was a little surprised at how quick it was, and shared that I am a little nervous about taking Adderall since I understand that it can be habit-forming and has the potential for abuse. He replied that it’s a very safe drug, and unless I’m “a college kid taking it so I can party all night long”, I shouldn’t be worried.

    Can anyone who started taking ADD medication as an adult give me some insight and/or moral support? I’ve never taken much in the way of prescription meds other than the occasional course of antibiotics so I think maybe I’m just being anxious.

    1. Was diagnosed at 26. It was a *way* longer process than this, including a formal assessment process with a cognitive neuropsychologist (comprehensive history plus an additional 2 days of tests and structured interviews). But I also had a history of depression and anxiety, which can also cause attention issues, so I was motivated to really “know” whether it was ADD or not.

      I also ended up using accomodations in grad school — basically just for comprehensive exams, so that I could have a separate quiet room with a whiteboard, and the ability to take extra supervised break time when I needed to refocus. Having a full, documented eval was super helpful for that.

      Honestly, adderall and Ritalin made me feel more jumpy than was helpful, and being on the wrong dose gave me panic attacks. I did a lot of work with a psychiatrist who specialized in medication management for combined ADHD/anxiety, and ultimately what worked best for me was a combination of meds, CBT (therapy), and DBT (group / skills).

      Anyway, sounds like you saw a physician who just did a very surface-level eval. A lot of folks are fine with that, but if you want more (and it sounds like you do), there are options.

      1. Also, given his dismissal of your very reasonable concerns, the guy sounds like a d!ck, and someone I’d have a hard time trusting. Totally reasonable to find someone who will actually LISTEN to you!

      2. The evals are usually critical for academic accommodations. But they can also be very expensive and are not always covered by insurance, so for some people they become an unnecessary barrier to get needed medication.

        On the other hand, because there are a lot of different types/presentations of ADD, the evals can be very helpful in learning how your brain works and what your strengths and weaknesses are. As a tiny example, my husband has ADHD and takes medication. He also knows from the evals that his brain cannot remember a sequence, and no amount of medication will change that. If someone tries to give him a sequence to remember, he has to stop that person and take the time to write it down. His self-awareness on this (and other, more major things) is really useful to him professionally and personally.

    2. It sounds like you’re not certain about the diagnosis and that your concerns were brushed off. This isn’t the time for online friends’ reassurances, this is the time to find a new doc, get a 2nd opinion, and then decide what works best for you. I’d recommend checking with your insurance company for docs in your area, then you can g00gle search them for reviews or insights to help you decide. Narrow down the list, then call and ask about becoming a new patient and ask if you can schedule a longer appt. as you have some medication questions to discuss. This way the office can plan accordingly.

      (This isn’t me blowing your concerns off, it’s an attempt to help to get you to the right person to discuss this with, since medication and diagnosis are so personalized and so based on individual history, which means no one online can truly help you the way a professional can) <3

      PS Never downplay your concerns or questions as being silly or overreacting or "being anxious" because a doc blows you off. Docs statistically downplay women's issues and women have to be their own best advocates. All that matters here is that you have questions, you feel uncertain, and you get to make the decisions about your own body. Own that and find someone who respects you enough to take the time you need to give you the info required for you to make the best decision for your health. And, once you find a new doc, it never hurts to call this recent doc's office and request to transfer all medical info and tell the office manager or whomever is in charge that you found a new doc specifically because you weren't given proper time or respect when asking medical questions. It might help to document a pattern for the office or lead to a better outcome for the next patient!

      1. It’s not so much that I think the diagnosis is wrong – in fact, I’m pretty sure it’s probably correct and the fact that my therapist made the suggestion to follow up on it makes me feel comfortable with the diagnosis itself. Mostly it’s just nervousness around taking medication. This might sound weird, but because I take so few medications and I have read all these stories about opioid users who started out with a legal, necessary prescription which eventually led to addiction… I have a fear that I’ll somehow wind up unintentionally abusing this medication? I think the phrase “high potential for abuse” has me freaked out. I think I’ve just read/heard so many stories (like reading Cat Marnell’s memoir a few weeks ago) about people abusing these sorts of medications that somehow my brain doesn’t compute that they can be safe and legal if used correctly.

        1. I remember feeling this way. Just the process of getting a prescription is intimidating. My doctor also reassured me that the abuse potential is greater for people who don’t have ADHD (the idea is that, if it’s working, it’s edging an ADHD brain towards normal function, not away from it). I’m not sure I understand how that works, since for me results varied; I found stimulant meds calming/focusing at some times and unhelpfully “caffeinating” at other times, and I guess that’s just how it is for some people. But the quadruple espresso feeling was something I didn’t want to experience again. And this leads to the last reassurance I received: I was told the abuse potential is much higher for patients who have a history of abusing pharmaceuticals, and that some of that abuse potential involves snorting the stuff (not something I was going to find myself doing inadvertently). I am not crazy about how your doctor left you with these doubts, but you probably did strike him as very low risk.

          It also helped me to outline some red flags (e.g., taking or wanting to take more than prescribed), and what action I would take if the red flag arose (call my doctor). I made those up, but there may be scientifically supported red flags out there too. This seemed like overkill later, but I think it’s not a bad mental habit to put in place, since it’s not overkill for something like painkillers.

          1. Thanks very much – this makes me feel much better. I think you’re probably right that the physician assessed me as pretty low-risk, especially since I was referred there by a therapist and not just a random person asking for medication. He still could have done better, of course.

            I’m starting on these tomorrow – hopefully, they will be helpful! Really appreciate your insight.

  16. Regarding the Mrs. /Ms. discussion this morning, a couple of Southern commenters agreed that “mizz ” is pronounced with two syllables.

    I grew up in CA but my people are from the south and I can’t figure out how this sounds. Will someone spell it out phonetically for me? I asked too late this morning.

    1. My interpretation was:

      Ms = ” mizz ”
      Mrs = ” mizz – ez” (or “mizz-iz” for regions with a slightly shorter vowel sound)

      I think the perception is that Northerners say both Ms and Mrs as “Miz”, with the end sort of truncated/elided into the last name.

      Caveat: grew up a westerner (think mountains & cowboys), but I lived in NC for 7 years; pronunciations above are consistent with my experiences in both parts of the US. Would love to hear if this squares with how folks who grew up in the south describe the distinction.

      1. Grew up in the Northeast and definitely say Mizz for Ms and Mizz-uz for Mrs. They don’t sound the same to me at all.

    2. Also originally from the South. The Mizz pronunciation can be missus or missuz. If you look up the Wikipedia entry for Mrs. it gives that pronunciation and the etymology.

      1. Thanks. That shows mrs as having one syllable. I’m confused about a two syllable pronounciation of mizz

    3. I think it’s “mih-izz”, splitting the vowel into two, much like “elm” becomes “ay-alm”.

  17. Styling question. I have a black lace skirt that I think is very pretty but I am at a loss for how to style it. I tried to wear it with a silk tank and a linen cardigan this morning and I just felt stupid and changed my clothing. What I was wearing it with seemed to wintery/heavy.

    I will post a link to it separately.

    It is black merino knit wool lace (so pretty) with a solid black liner. The lace is longer than the liner, which stops just above my knee, while the lace comes to the bottom of my knee. The liner has a pencil skirt shape but the lace overlay is slightly flowier – not a full skirt, but not fitted like a pencil skirt either. Maybe I would call it fluttery at the hem.

    What should I wear this with on a warm day? I feel like the lace is summery and pretty but not sure what to wear on top. I always cover my arms.

        1. I think I’d either wear it with a solid color top in a flattering cut or I’d juxtapose the pretty/feminine lace with something less girlie, like the skirt, a solid top, and a leather jacket/blazer. Some with a more flowy vibe might do a looser top and cowboy boots… “putting me together dot com” website often has lace items, might be worth checking out the website for ideas!

    2. I couldn’t get the link to work. However, based on the description, it sounds like something I’d wear to a social event, not work, which is why pairing it with work clothes didn’t seem right.

        1. I would wear it with a lightweight turtleneck to a Christmas party. Or maybe a white shirt in a dressy fabric.

        2. I agree with all Senior Attorney’s suggestions. It reads as wintery to me, not summery.

        3. Or a fluffy sweater. Or really any dressy sweater. Blush would be nice…

    4. Not sure this is meant for spring/summer. Maybe if you are bound and determined to wear it, a white button down or fancy T with colorful flats?

    5. I would do a lightweight sweater without any fancy stitches, but some interesting details (like a ballet sweater, with the wrap detail).

  18. I am a third-year biglaw associate and have recently been invited to attend a weekend long shark fishing expedition with a partner, a senior associate and five PE guys. I’ll be the only woman in attendance, so no senior female to bounce outfit ideas off of. If someone could please point me in the direction of the website that sells business appropriate shark fishing gear, I would be eternally grateful.

    1. What is the purpose of this – are y’all going to eat them? Aren’t they protected?
      I know – not what you asked. Still.

      1. A bunch of the shark fishing expeditions I googled just now are catch and release. So I think it’s just for the “thrill” of coming face to face with a shark.

      2. Not OP but there are lots of species of sharks and only a few are protected. I wouldn’t want to kill one though, seems way more like hunting mammals than fishing (even tho they are fish).

      3. Not sure about the protected status of sharks in general, but chartered shark fishing is somewhat common in the gulf of mexico, just like whitetail hunting in south Texas and alligator hunting in LA.

        We’ll only be on the boat for the fishing portion – we have nice dinners planned both evenings. Athleta sounds like a great choice – will check it out.

        1. My husband would applaud any shark hunter. He feels about sharks the way I do about spiders – I would be fine if 100% of them were killed.

    2. That’s pretty awesome. I would think most golf attire would be appropriate for this event, preferably in a sweat wicking material that you don’t mind getting wet.

      1. Awesome that you were invited, just to be clear. And on the golf attire, golf attire you would wear out with colleagues, not posing for Sports Illustrated lol.

    3. Can you talk to whoever is coordinating the weekend about the activities themselves? For example, are you on a boat all weekend, or spending the day on a boat and then in a hotel with dinners planned in the evening?

      For an actual physical activity on a boat, I wouldn’t worry about being business appropriate, beyond not wearing a skimpy bikini or halter top. I’m thinking Athleta-type “adventuring” clothes like quick dry capris and the UPF tops.

      1. Yes I agree with this. Perfect occasion to wear some of those SPF clothes and a hat. There’s no sunburn like a sunburn on the water.

        1. +1
          Also be sure to include really good quality sunglasses, with polarized lenses, in a “sports” style.

    4. I’ve never been shark fishing specifically, but I would think that the Columbia PFG line of clothing would work well for this. It’s also SPF protective and lightweight, so it can work well for the beach or other outdoor activities. I have a couple of shirts. I’d wear this with comfy shorts and chacos or deck shoes. Baseball hat and sunglasses on a croakies. (And having not been shark fishing, I think asking about appropriate footwear is a good idea.)

    5. I have no idea what to wear, but I laughed out loud at the request for the website selling business appropriate shark fishing gear. Femtrepreneur opportunity!

    6. I have a pair of similar shorts from Athleta that I would wear (linked below). There is also a slighter longer skort and pair of bermuda shorts if you search a bit further. If you had a longer pair of khaki shorts, that would work as well. I fly fish and wear these frequently. I would feel comfortable wearing them in front of work colleagues even though they are a bit on the shorter side. A moisture wicking workout top would be appropriate. If you’ll be in a cooler climate, the below pants would work.

      http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=46717&pcid=46715&vid=1&pid=596369022‘

      http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=46717&pcid=46715&vid=1&pid=596341022

    7. Check out Columbia. They have nice button-up fishing shirts that come in every color. These are both professional and fishing appropriate with the added bonus that most have some level of UV protection

      2. I was going to say Columbia or REI. I would wear shorts or capris (not tight, more khaki-style) with a short-sleeved performance shirt (the kind that contains SPF) and bring a lightweight windbreaker or rain jacket. Nonslip shoes obviously, and a baseball cap.

    8. Ha!!! Best request for fashion advice ever on this blog!

      Seconding the suggestions for UPF shirts (or even a surfing rashguard; they dry super quickly and in my opinion move better than button downs), comfortable shorts or capris, and asking about footwear. Chacos are awesome but I don’t know if closed-toe might be recommended for any reason.

    9. This sounds amazing. I would wear a UV protective top, long sleeved, some sort of athletic short (like a long board short), boat shoes (sneakers) of some kind, and a baseball hat (pull your ponytail through – assuming you have one – so it doesn’t blow off easily). I think the goal here is to look competent, not stylish, and not be the one who gets sunburned, loses hats and glasses (get some croakies!), or is sliding all over the place on the boat because you wore flip flops. Check the weather, it may be cooler but much sunnier on the boat than you expect. Bring layers. And a clean shirt in case you get fish guts all over yourself.

    10. My brother is a charter fisherman who captains these kind of trips. They all do lots of social media to attract clients, so check out Facebook/insta/twitter for the boat you’re taking and see what women wear. Whatever you do, don’t wear something you’re afraid of getting dirty. Also, don’t pack bananas to eat or even bring Banana Boat sunscreen- bananas are bad luck on a fishing boat. If the dudes are jerks about wanting to reel in the fish and push you aside, don’t assume it’s because they’re sexist. Some people just get weird when there’s a fish on.

    11. Totally not what you asked, but this reminds me of a celebration dinner I went to with clients. All the women on the team exchanged numerous emails to both discuss appropriate attire and even sent pictures of what we were thinking of – at least 20 or 30 emails in total. The men had one exchange – tie or no tie. Sometimes, they have it so much easier

    12. Late to the thread, but I would hit the website for ExOffico, Columbia, REI, or Sierra Trading Post. Get everything washable — real fishing is dirty business.

      I prefer to fish in long pants that roll up (with buttons) or convertibles that zip off because boat weather can change, a UPF T or tank, and a long-sleeved light colored UPF blouse with lots of vents and pockets. I add a fishing vest if it is cooler out, but we have those around the house — I would not go out and buy one just for this trip. Baseball cap or hat with a chin strap (I wear a Tilley hat). Any shoes you wear should be “grippy”; I like old-style thick strap Tevas (unattractive,but hose off easy), but check to see if you need to wear light colored soles on the boat. Always bring a windbreaker or light Gore Tex jacket because it can be a lot cooler on the water than on land.

      Also good to have: sunglasses on a croakie or float strap, all the physical sunblocks (face and neck plus body), a penknife, can koozies and loads of beer and salty snacks, and a bandanna or two (so many uses!). The spare shirt advice is on point; I also would have a towel and extra shoes in the car.

  19. Sympathy please? Through no fault of my own, my computer just ate 2 days of work. Trust me when I say it’s gone, there’s no IT magic that will bring it back–I’m in the IT dept., so I would know. Not sure I can recreate it. Heck of a Monday :(.

    4. Poor girl, HUGS. I know how this feels, b/c I do all of my own word processing since I fired Mason, b/c Lynn makes mistakes in my document’s, I think sometimes to punish me b/c she was haveing sex with Mason when I fired him.

      Last month, I dropped my MacBook Air, and shattered the screen, so I could ONLEY see my files by attaching an EXTERNAL flat screen monitor. The teck guy came over to have a look, but he was onley interested in lookieng at my breast’s. FOOEY! They are NOT there for HIS look-see. So I told him to get lost and I would do it myself. But I could NOT attach the flat screen to my MacBook b/c the conneciton did NOT fit. Tripel FOOEY on that! So the manageing partner agreed to get a new monitor for me to fit my MacBook Air. YAY!!!!!

  20. Not sure about the protected status of sharks in general, but chartered shark fishing is somewhat common in the gulf of mexico, just like whitetail hunting in south Texas and alligator hunting in LA.

    We’ll only be on the boat for the fishing portion – we have nice dinners planned both evenings. Athleta sounds like a great choice – will check it out.

  21. I’m not sure why I’m in mod, but re this mornings discussion I want to know how “m I z z” is pronounced with two syllables. I can’t imagine it.

  22. Thanks everyone. The more I think about it, the less I liked the 1st draft anyway. Just 1 more hour…

  23. Has anyone tried the Goop vitamin regiments? I’m sure it’s snake oil, but still . . . I could use some snake oil

  24. I was almost sold on these shoes until I clicked through and saw the enormous SE logo on the other side. Boo.

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