Tuesday’s TPS Report: Cap-Sleeve Boatneck Top with Pleats
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
I am a 3rd year patent prosecutor and am interviewing for a lateral IP transactional/privacy position. The firm I’m interviewing with knows that I do not have transactional/privacy experience, and I am wondering what questions I can ask to show my interest in corporate/privacy work.
That is, when you interview laterals looking to join your group or summers who have expressed an interest in your group, what questions really “wow” you as corporate/transactional/privacy attorneys and indicate that an interviewee is really interested in your type of law/what you do day-to-day?
For instance, when I interview in patent prosecution, I am always impressed by folks who have searched the PTO’s site, looked at applications/patents that people in my group have worked on, and asked questions about those applications/patents. I don’t know if there is an analogous situation in corporate law (where you can search for docs by an attorney’s or firm’s name), but I would appreciate the Hive’s thoughts on how to put my best foot forward.
can you expand by telling why you want to move away from patent prosecution? That will be your first gating question.
Look through the bios of your interviewers and the people that are listed in the firm’s practice group overview. Do they list representative transactions? Explore what types of deals they spend the majority of their time negotiating, and ask about some key issues they encountered – be ready to think on your feet and show your eagerness to get up to speed and learn. Do they list presentations or blog contributions? Skim through those, if they’re available, so you can talk about your interest or questions on the latest issues they’ve discussed.
I think I would actually be kind of weirded out if an interviewee asked specific question about a deal I had worked on, or a privacy policy I’d written. This is my exact practice area. With the privacy aspect, I’d much rather hear someone able to speak eloquently on their thoughts on recent data privacy issues, proposed legislation, etc.
Would you really expect a third-year patent prosecutor to have useful opinions on, say, locational tracking legislation, though? I think that skills and willingness to work are more important than subject-matter expertise when it comes to junior associates – you’re not hiring them for expertise.
Well, I’d expect them to have a conversational grasp and some opinions of the legislation that guides the practice area they’re hoping to transition into. Of course skills and drive/attitude are important, but she asked about what to talk about in an interview and I’d rather hear this than “Tell me exactly how negotiations went on X deal.”
Askamanager has great advice on interviewing and one of the things that she always says that the interviewer is essentially trying to solve a problem. An interviewee needs to explain how she is a solution to that problem That’s what I’d suggest in your case.
I’m a transactional lawyer. We need a lateral and there are a lot of junior laterals on the market, but many of them have litigation backgrounds. So far, we’ve brought two of them in and even given the opportunity they’ve both failed miserably at explaining how they can solve my problem (which is that I need a junior transactional associate). Think about what skill you have that are transferrable – attention to detail, discipline, ability to manage multiple demands and complex matters, etc. – and make sure you highlight those. Maybe you don’t have deal negotiation experience, but you have other experience supporting negotiations and you can highlight that as transferrable expertise.
Because you’ve trying to switch practices, there are skills you won’t have. Think about what innate qualities (or other skills) you have that will help you fill those gaps. Maybe you don’t know much about privacy, but you’ve demonstrated in the past that you’re able to get up to speed quickly on an unfamiliar subject matter and can give an example of that. (Giving examples is great.)
Also (and this is huge) acknowledge that you know you’ll be starting over in many respects, and that you’ve 100% on board with that. We had a candidate come in who was a second-year securities associate and who, when asked how she felt about moving to a new group, said that her primary concern was not being at the bottom of the pecking order again. Well, when a second-year whose only drafting experience is 8-Ks moves to a core deal practice, she is starting over. At the bottom. You’re more senior, so it’s not like being a first-year again, but it’s very important to show willingness to learn and understanding that the transition can be a challenge.
My mind is blown that a second year, interviewing for a new position, actually said in the interview that she was worried about being at the bottom of the pecking order.
It was difficult to keep a straight face. And we’re a friendly office – not particularly hierarchical – but yeah, if you are a second year, you will be the one who has to go through the document fixing all the formatting.
repost from earlier this morning:
I posted a couple of days ago about a job offer elsewhere in my organization that I understood as still pending salary negotiation, but the new office had already put me on their email lists and had a new mentor assigned to me. I asked the HR rep for clarification, and apparently she thought that during our original phone conversation I accepted the offer (I’m assuming because I said “I’m still interested.”) I later submitted a counteroffer, and she said that in that intervening time, she told the office that I accepted, then had to go back and tell them that I accepted pending a higher salary, which is pending approval w/ the higher ups in HR). Anyway, I’m a little unsure of how to handle this, given that in my mind I didn’t accept outright, but she thinks I did, so now I’m some person who accepts job offers and then goes back and asks for more money. Obviously I need to clear this up, and I could really use some suggestions.
No help, but I think this is the HR rep’s fault for not hearing, not clarifying.
You might want to post on AskAManager, actually.
*I* think you’re in the clear here, but I am not HR and I am (by my accounts) a normal person.
Good luck.
Not in HR personally. But, the best advice I have is to stick to your guns (professionally, of course). You really like the job. You’re really excited by the opportunity. Clearly they want you, but you need to be satisfied with the salary. I think the HR person is entirely at fault. I would have expected something in writing to confirm the acceptance of a new position… incredible the HR person didn’t require that before making all sorts of assumptions.
Yeah. supposedly it’s a new policy that they don’t issue offers in writing until it’s all settled on and ready to sign. You can see why I don’t like this arrangement.
Sorry this happened to you. I think not issuing an offer in writing until it’s all settled on and ready to sign is the new thing. This happened with my most recent offer as well…
would I be apologizing unnecessarily if I apologized for the miscommunication/confusion?
Yes!!!!!!!!!
Don’t apologize for someone else’s mistake.
I don’t think you need to outright apologize, but saying, “It looks like we’ve had a miscommunication in this process.” Don’t let her mistake make you feel guilty.
I am going to a “global networking night” hosted by my former university tonight. Over 500 alumni are expected to attend. (ahh!!) I’m something of an introvert but am determined to get something out of this experience.
Does anyone have advice for how to have fun and get the most out of this event? My goal is to talk to at least five women that I don’t know (obviously I’ll talk to men, too, but this way I’ll likely talk to more than five people without setting a goal that feels intimidating), and follow up with at least 3 people. Does that sound reasonable? Mainly at these events I just try to be friendly, smile a lot, chat with people who are by themselves, etc but I don’t know if I should be doing something more targeted.
I’m going alone, fwiw. I looked at the guest list and there are a few people I’m really interested in meeting, but I don’t know if I’d be able to identify them in a big group. I’m a new lawyer and am just trying to meet interesting people at this point. Advice welcome!
One piece of advice I got was to narrow it down – focus on women in blue jackets, or with red purses, or whatever.
When feeling esp. insecure & anxious, I find, “Wow! This is a lot of people here! Kind of overwhelming, let’s narrow it down to you and me?” to be a decent opening line. Esp. when said while standing near the food :)
Good luck! Don’t forget your business cards!
I think your plan of action sounds great. I would recommend talking to people near the food/bar – that’s usually an easy way to get a conversation going. Also if there’s a conversation of at least 3+ people, it’s sometimes easy to stand on the edge of the group and join in.
Sounds like you have a good plan! I went to a “how to network” seminar recently, and the things I can remember from it are (1) eat beforehand even if there’s food there (too hard to network if you’re eating/worried about food in your teeth), (2) have a few interesting/atypical conversation starters in your pocket (not “so, what do you do”; Google conversation starters, there’s lots), (3) watch your body language (stand up tall, no phone in your hand, smile), and (4) follow up within 3 days with the people you really want to connect with.
The instructor also said to look up people beforehand, but sounds like you’ve already done that! Good luck!
Personally I’ve never found this approach useful. You’re likely to at best make a LinkedIn connection and more likely just go home with a business card when your plan is to “count people.” I’d suggest just going with a plan to be friendly and to chat with people. If you end up really connecting with someone,talk longer, maybe get a drink after and cultivate one friendship.
I really like this top. As a plus-size, pear-shaped woman, I like the pleats and the boat-neck that add structure and interest and draw the eye upward. That’s what I was looking for in the plus-size and the more-affordable options – they didn’t quite hit the mark, but the plus-size does look good for pear-shape, too.
(Trying to be constructive)
+1 I like this top too! Simple, elegant. Unfortunately this color makes me look washed out, but probably for the best…
I also really like this top. Different but simple and professional. This is a color that I really like for myself. I could see myself pulling this out frequently when I needed to look put together but secretly wanted to wear pjs.
Etiquette question: We’re starting to look at buying a house and are getting lots of recs on real estate agents from friends and colleagues (either people they’ve worked with or agents in their family). I’m looking at some of these people’s profiles and most (maybe all) of them don’t look like they will be the right people for us in terms of their area of expertise (wrong neighborhood, price range etc.). Is it rude if we don’t meet with some of them at all?
No, not rude at all. It’s considerate not to take up someone’s time if you’re unlikely to work with them due to their town/price range expertise. And FWIW, I found that working with an agent who does a lot of business in the town or neighborhood you want was absolutely key for making competitive offers (without overpaying). Good luck!
+1. You should absolutely work with someone in the area you want. Or, FWIW, we have bought houses twice WITHOUT a buyer’s agent. Seller’s agents often like this because it means they keep 100% of the commission, rather than 50%, so they will sometimes put your offer on the top of the pile if you don’t have an agent of your own.
Not an expert, but I think this can vary by state.
Not at all – we just went through the same thing, and ended up going with a completely unrelated agent who had expertise in our preferred housing type and geographic area. Most people won’t even ask again beyond “oh hey, my cousin sells real estate!” and if they do ask “hey, did you ever contact my cousin?” you can just say basically what you said here – some version of “we determined AGENT was a better match than COUSIN given where we’re looking.” No one seemed upset by that.
Not rude. If asked, just tell anyone who asks you that you appreciate their rec and looked into the agent, but they don’t appear to cover the area/type of listings you are looking for right now. You will keep them in mind if your search parameters change, etc etc. If it helps, I don’t think it would generally occur to me to follow up if I passed along a recommendation to a friend or colleague (for a plumber, painter, real estate agent, whatever). I would assume that the buyer might let me know if it worked out (or might not say anything) or find someone else who better met their needs. If the second, I would certainly not be offended at all if the buyer didn’t pick “my” rec. Possibly different if the referee is trying to steer business toward a close friend or relative, I guess.
This.
Not rude. People get lots of recs, you don’t need to follow up on each one.
OTOH, don’t continue to whine about NYC rental market being a horrible mess when you’ve been given a referral to a super awesome broker who would solve all of those problems.
Gah. Cold weather makes me not want to try with my clothes at all. Today I am wearing FLEECE TIGHTS! and they are not as black as my dress. Sigh…
I firmly believe that you get a major pass when the weather is this cold. I’m wearing FLEECE TIGHTS with my nice suit dress and nice heeled boots today. I know they don’t look as nice as my good tights (FLEECE TIGHTS tend to get really pill-y in my opinion), but I don’t care because it was 3 degrees when I left the house.
This. My legs are too cold to care about pilling.
Ahaha, now I feel better because we are wearing the same outfit. FLEECE TIGHTS! ftw!
You and me both! I’m lecturing tonight and am currently wearing fleece lined tights and snowboots. I had planned to switch to flats but realised that my tights are footless so I’m teaching in snowboots.
There is an amber alert for snow so I’m not particularly fussed.
I think an Amber Alert is for a missing child.
It is in the US, where not everyone here lives. In Scotland it is for weather.
.
Oh dear! Brain fade. It’s a amber weather warning.
+1 The Amber in Amber Alert refers to the name of a child, in the US. Unless someone is missing a baby snowstorm?
Snow in the forecast is usually a winter weather advisory, at least around here.
ETA: Huh – color coded weather announcements. Whoda thunk?
It’s freaking cold here too.
Alas I do not have FLEECE TIGHTS.
I did spend $$$$ on the longest Canada Goose coat last winter though and with that, and knee high winter books, my regular tights are fine.
I wish I had FLEECE TIGHTS! It’s cold in my office and deary outside. Drinking cafe mocha to make myself feel warm and cozy.
FLEECE TIGHTS are the only way I can wear dresses in the winter. Great invention.
Can I just say I love that FLEECE TIGHTS are still a thing here? Although it makes me giggle to think of new readers not having a clue why we’re all so excited about FLEECE TIGHTS.
Question about government salary. I’m an intern at a government agency and was just recently offered a permanent position. The salary is lower than it should be b/c of some major budgetary issues that this agency has much more acutely than others. I’m expecting to move to another government agency within the next few years, but I’m concerned about my grade being sticky since I will have already accepted a grade much less than I could expect to get. I’m inclined to take the job anyway because it’s good experience in a permanent position which allows for more responsibility and growth than just being an intern. I’m also working on my PhD, so I’d expect that I’d seek an agency change around when that’s done. Anyway, there are a lot of good reason why my salary here would be artificially low AND why I’m obviously qualified for much more, especially around the time I’d be looking to move. How concerned should I be that taking a lower salary at this job will affect my future prospects? The alternative is to stay an intern and keep working on the PhD and just seek employment when that’s done.
Yay! I love the boat neck look, and I love Nieman Marcus! I have to show Rosa and Myrna this. Myrna also like’s high tops, b/c she is a lot less visible up top and this causes people NOT to focus upstair’s as much. As for the OP, yes, be concerned, b/c in the government, pay grade is important, and a lot of idiot’s are kept at a lower grade, so even if you are smart, and you are in a low grade, people will think you are not to smart or else you would be in a higher grade. This will particulearley be the case if you want to move to another agency.
I know this b/c I the agency I worked in, there were a lot of government attorneys, but some were still GS9, and the smarter one’s were 11’s and 12’s. The real dummies were the 9’s b/c they did NOT get up to the 11 level even after 5 year’s. So that is probabley why they spent a lot of time looking out the window and ranking women’s bodie’s instead of working at an 11 or 12 level.
I hope Myrna’s brother get’s the hint, but I am not sure. He told Myrna he realy think’s we could be a coupel. What does the HIVE think? Dad want’s me to date (and mate) with him.
Is this federal? A lot of non-entry-level federal positions require X amount of time at Grade Y “or equivalent.” I’d check out some current job announcements similar to the ones you think you would apply for in the future and think about how well you could make a case for yourself for those openings.
It is federal. Assuming I find something along the lines of what you’re saying, does that make it better or worse to take a lower grade for a time?
It can make it worse, because the next job may require (for example) a 52 weeks of experience at a higher grade as a minimum job qualification.
Yeah, but if I don’t take the job, I have that problem anyway.
Yes, this is what I was getting at. Even if you have a good reason why you think your prior work was equivalent to a higher grade, you will probably get screened out for failing to meet time-in-grade requirements before you get your chance to make your case.
Thanks for all the shampoo suggestions from last week. I tried the L’Oreal sulfate-free line based on several recommendations here, and I seriously cannot believe the difference. I must have been dealing with product buildup. My hair feels awesome! Thanks again!
Same here! Tried it for the first time yesterday and love it.
Can someone tell me if this hallway organizer is the same as the one I am going to post next? I always thought PB made their own stuff exclusively but the (below) model from Overstock looks identical to me and the only difference I can spot is a .5 inch difference in measurements, but I suspect that may be because overstock is generally less precise in their measuring. I was going to get the PB model but now I feel like I am overpaying for something I could get for less. Which would you get? Or have you seen something similar elsewhere for even less? (Criteria: need a few drawers for doggie poop bags & other small things, shelf for keys and hooks to hang leashes off of).
the PB: http://www.potterybarn.com/products/entryway-wall-mount-cubby-organizer/?pkey=e%7Corganizeer%7C44%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C48%7C%7C2&cm_src=NLASEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules
I reposted below. Apologies for duplicate comment. First comment disappeared at first and would not appear on refresh.
Any suggestions for incorporating strength into an existing fitness routine? I generally do cardio (spinning, rowing, barre) 3 times a week and yoga 2-3 times week and would like to incorporate some type of strength training, but I’m not sure where to start. I checked out the reviews for The New Rules of Lifting for Women on amazon, but it seems like it’s intended to be your entire workout when I’m just looking for 20-30 minute routines of strictly strength training. Books, websites, and/or youtube videos are all welcome. Thanks!
Sounds like my typical workout routine, and i like to incorporate full body movements for weight-training. It hits more muscles at once. I’m thinking of exercises like assisted pull-ups, planks (there are many variations), supermans, (lots of ab and core strength), squats. Because i like the look of toned arms, I do biceep, tricep, and deltoid specific exercises as well.
Do you have any suggestions on building a routine with these types of exercises? Assume that I’m a complete novice at strength training (because I am)!
Hmm..some of the exercises I do I learned from a trainer, some from my personal knowledge, some from some googling. I am not a dedicated weight trainer though- when I’m injured I do these exercises more often and I do find I get more toned/muscualr, but I am not perfect about it. If my legs are tired from some interval training the day before, I focus on upper body. Some days I do a bit of everything but less weight, some the opposite. Core is more important for me as a runner and desk job person. I think you need to just google around. But form is important (many people don’t plank right), so maybe one or two sessions with a trainer would help.
I love Nia Shanks’s website. She has several different programs that take about 20-30 minutes each. Some require dumbbells, some are bodyweight. You do have to pay for the programs, but the prices are very reasonable.
http://www.niashanks.com/shop/
They’re all e-books so you can download and get started immediately. And I’ve emailed her a couple of times with questions, and she was very nice and responsive.
I highly recommend the Nerd Fitness website for this.
I like Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and just doing the strength portions (so about 10 mins). I’m sure you could find some other weight lifting/toning videos.
+1. This is what I do as well when I am getting cardio in other ways. (When I am not getting cardio somewhere else I do the whole video.)
That’s a great idea since I already own the 30 day shred. Do you just fast forward through the other parts?
I’m a JM fan as well, but recommend instead doing circuits of No More Trouble Zones. It’s 45 minutes of strength-only but you can do the first couple of circuits one day and the last few another. Much more challenging than the strength moves in 30 day shred, IMO.
The New Rules for lifting workouts tend to be about 20-30 minutes/session for me, so it sounds like they would actually fit into what you are looking for.
Are you past Stage 1? I found that as I progressed through the book, the workouts got much longer. Some days I was in the gym for 1:20-1:30.
Me too. I had to drop the body weight matrix because I just didn’t have the time, and I was doing other cardiovascular so I figured it balanced out.
Yes! I’d be about to start the BWM and text my husband that I was wrapping up at the gym (by this time, around 7:30) and then realize that the blasted thing takes almost 20 minutes by itself. And then dinner would be cold. Super sad life, right?
The length of the workouts was one reason that I stopped the book and started with a trainer.
So, stay at Level 1 and up your weight or pick different variations of the squats and deadlifts and then two /four of the other paired exercises (that will take you 20-30 minutes) and leave the rest. You’re already doing cardio, so the interval stuff isn’t necessary.
The point of switching up the routines is to continue to challenge your muscles as they become more efficient at doing what you ask of them. New Rules is providing you a schedule to follow (if you want), but it’s not like you HAVE to do it only their way.
I don’t think barre is really cardio, but new rules of lifting does take around 30 minutes and is good for teaching the basics.
Or just pony up and hire a trainer for a few sessions to put a plan together for you, based on your goals.
I was going to make this point. I think of Barre as strength (though you may get some benefit from cardio intervals) — unless you’re actually breathing heavy for the majority of the class (which I don’t think I’ve ever done in a barre class), I don’t consider it cardio. So, yay, you’re there! :)
Haha, all three of us were making the same point at the same time – In a full ballet class, the breathing heavy for the entire time generally comes after the barre work. (Although my ballet teacher would throw in sets of 50 sit-ups whenever she felt like it)
Barre workouts are both strength and cardio in my experience.
This is a good point. I usually only do barre 1/week and focus on other classes for cardio, but I’m never sure if barre really provides an adequate strength workout. In terms of overall health (bones, toning, etc), would it be better to stick to cardio 2/3 times a week and also do 2/3 barre classes or to stick to 0/1 barre class a week and add some other method of strength training?
Are you not feeling a challenge in the Barre class? Try asking your teacher for help with your form and if that doesn’t do it, maybe you need a better instructor.
If you’re doing barre barre, as opposed to cardio barre there should be at least some strength (bodyweight stuff, anyway) involved – maybe try an actual ballet class rather than a cardio barre one if you enjoy that style of movement and exercise.
Women’s Health has a ‘Big Book of Workouts’ that has quite a variety of different workouts including many that are 15 min iirc. I also like their Big Book of Exercises because it will take a basic move and give you a ton of variations for that move.
Okay, trying again because my comment got eaten by filter. I need an entryway organizer and was going to get this one: http://www.potterybarn.com/products/entryway-wall-mount-cubby-organizer/?pkey=e%7Corganizeer%7C44%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C48%7C%7C2&cm_src=NLASEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules
But, I see an almost identical one on another website for less. Can anyone spot the difference or do you think it’s the same one? I always assumed PB made their own products to be sold there exclusively but I am truly stumped to spot the difference here other than a slight deviation in measurements.
This is the other one: http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Bombay-Brown-Wall-Mirror-with-Drawers-and-Hooks/9408928/product.html
If anyone has other suggestions, please post. The only requirements are drawers for small things, shelf for keys, and hooks for dog leashes. This is for a narrow hallway so needs to hang on a wall and be relatively flush.
Looks the same, I would get the overstock one. :)
I’ve had phenomenal luck with overstock for home goods.
It’s probably the same one. I think PB often marks up goods made overseas.
Yep, PB doesn’t actually manufacture its products, so far as I can tell; it just buys products from factories. So other companies may buy them as well, or if a factory overproduces, it may end up in a place like Overstock.
Yes…my friend is a furniture buyer for CostPlus and they buy identical pieces from the same factories that make PB and several other US retailers’ stuff. It’s not a coincidence when this stuff looks the same! Buy the lower price point!
If you’re thinking about signing up, use this link and we both get $50 off. http://classpass.com/buynow?utm_content=60490401108830
Cool! Thanks for sharing. Is it just off the first month?
I just read the fine print and it comes as a Visa gift card, which may be better or worse than a discount, depending on your perspective…
I just bought the audrey cashmere sweater from Talbot’s; it’s lovely but pilling quite a bit under the arms after 2 wears. I’ve heard people on here rave about the quality; is this normal? If not, what are potential ways that I may be exacerbating the problem or could make it stop?
My new Talbot’s cashmere are doing the same thing. I just have been pulling off the pills but for that price its disappointing.
My cashmere sweaters from Talbots pill initially, but then calm down. I’ve never owned any wool sweater that doesn’t pill in the armpits (I mean, I need to move my arms to and fro – I need to!), so I don’t consider that a marker of poor quality.
is it normal for pilling there to start immediately though? This is the most pilling I’ve ever had on a wool sweater, even compared to sweaters I’ve had for 2 or 3 years that have seen heavy use. I’ve only worn this one for one full day and one half day to work, which seems a little soon for heavy pilling.
Wool is not cashmere, so if you’re comparing merino to cashmere in terms of pilling, that’s the issue.
Yes, most cashmere pills some in places where there is actual contact, like armpits. Some cashmere pills more than others.
Cashmere is a type of wool, but it definitely pills more than merino wool, and I get pilling under the arms of merino sweaters so I expect more on cashmere sweaters. Anon, once the sort of top layer of cashmere “fuzz” pills off, it should calm down.
My spouse thinks that you make a bed by placing the sheets, blanket, and quilt on top of the bed. NOTHING gets tucked in at the foot of the bed (leading to cold children and need to perpetually re-make beds mid-sleep and in the morning).
Is this a thing? I get it if you are very tall (we are average and the small people are not long at all when they sleep).
#everymarriageisacrossculturalmarriage
The woman who cleans my house did it the same way as your husband until I asked her to tuck the sheets and blanket in at the bottom, so maybe. I say maybe because she is not the most attentive to detail and because she is only one person.
My boyfriend feel the same way. When he comes over, he actually untucks (my lovely hospital corners!), because he says it’s too restricting. I don’t get it. I like feeling nice and tight and secure and warm…
My beau does this, too, and it drives.me.up.a.wall!
I am an avid un-tucker because of feeling completing trapped in tucked sheets. I actually have asked hotel staff to not make my bed to avoid having to pull everything out.
eww I hate the tuck. I never ever tuck
I make the bed this way, because having anything tucked in at the bottom is too constricting (and not as warm as tucking the covers under your feet).
I am a definite untuck person as well. I find it too restrictive and until your post, assumed people do it for cosmetic purposes since I couldn’t imagine anyone doesn’t untuck before actually getting into bed!
I tuck, but my ex-boyfriend hated tucking at the bottom (don’t know why) and my cleaning lady doesn’t do it unless I ask her to. But I tuck, my fiancé tucks, and my whole extended family (at least anyone whose beds I’ve seen or whose guest beds I’ve slept in) tucks at the bottom.
If I don’t tuck, the covers will not stay on my feet, and I’ll wake up in the middle of the night because my feet are freezing.
FU to a post from last month. I am in the final stages of consolidating my student loans with common bond. The process was very easy. Now I don’t understand why I dreaded the process and kept putting it off, lol. Any questions about common bond?
Thanks for the follow up. I initially read your comment as another type of “FU” and it made me chuckle. My immediate thought was, “ooh, which one!?” Glad the process went smoothly for you.
Oh, haha, fu= follow up.
I read it that way too! Glad to hear it went well.
I know! I was thinking “This was an exceedingly polite ‘F you.'”
+1 made me giggle!
I’ve never heard of them. Did you consolidate federal or private loans? Did you wind up with a lower interest rate?
I consolidated both types. They offered a wide range of loans. I got quotes for 5 year variable rate, 20 year variable and 20 year fixed. Interest rate was lower for the first two (4ish% for both) and about the same (on average) for the last. I then used bank rate to compare total cost of the loans if I pay $2000/month (my personal minimum I plan to pay) and $3500/month (my goal monthly payment). For them all, I’ll pay off the loan sometime between December 2016 and December 2018. I went with the 20 year fixed because of the lower payment. A lower payment is better when going for a mortgage or other loan. And it makes life easier if I lose my job or choose a significantly lower paying job. It will cost about $3000 more on my payoff plan, but I’m okay with that since I very well might leave my legal career and choose to take longer to pay off the loans (which will, of course raise the cost of the loan).
Thanks for the info! I think I’ll keep my federal loans as is because IBR is super important to me with my sporadic jobs but I’ll probably look into it for my private loans.
Very easy to only consolidate some loans. They have school forbearance, but you have to request forbearance for income/lost job issues. My biggest reason for consolidating was easier extra payments, and they automatically apply extra payments towards principal
So your rate for the 20-year fixed was under 5 percent? How many loans did you consolidate and what was the total?
Also, they originally only consolidated MBA loans, but recently added law school loans. They’ve also added a lot of schools recently.
This is piggybacking on the last couple of days’ calorie- and weight-related questions, so please skip this if it is triggering or upsetting.
After reading the past few days’ threads on weight and calorie consumption, I have been thinking that I may eat a whole lot more than I thought I did. Hmmm. I am 5’4″ and 115-118 pounds, though sometimes I will certainly go up to 120 (period, takeout, etc.). I exercise 6-7 days a week for 60-90 minutes, mostly running, but go through phases where I do regular weight-work and Pilates. Intense exercise keeps me de-stressed and my mood more steady. This is the thing- I easily eat 2,500 calories a day. I barely eat meat (I don’t like it very much)and eat (and love) a whole lot of vegetables, grains/bread (homemade or on-premises baked, the “normal” way), and yogurt, cheese, and nuts. I definitely have dessert every day. I guess I do aim to eat 2,200 calories a day, but this has not been happening lately because I find myself so hungry.
I put a disclaimer up top, but I am wondering about those who count calories or have caloric goals for the day – how many calories? I don’t really know what my point is, but I have been thinking about my own habits. Thanks!
I don’t actively count calories, but at last count, I eat about 3200-3300 calories a day, sometimes more. I’m 5′ 2″ and 115lbs or so. My exercise habits are probably fairly similar to yours, and I’m avegetarian who really doesn’t eat much sweets or unhealthy stuff. I’ve sort of reevaluated my habits periodically, but really I can’t just eat less (I get really hungry). So as long as I’m eating healthy, feeling good, and fitting into my clothes, I don’t worry much about calories.
If you’re not gaining weight on this or are maintaining a weight you want to maintain, I don’ t see why you would want to change things or why you would care.
+1. It sounds like it works for you and you’re at a good place for exercising/health/weight/diet. No reason to change what’s working!
I’m confused why this matters. It sounds like you’ve found a level that works for you. Since caloric intake needs vary based on age, weight, activity level, and whether you want to increase decrease or maintain your weight how will this be useful?
I don’t find talk of weight triggering but I do often want to tell people to calm down. If it’s working why poke at it?
I am also 5’4″ but weigh 140. When I lost ten pounds by tracking calories I could eat 1200 a day with my sedentary lifestyle, plus whatever calories I burned working out. That is losing about a pound a week. To maintain my weight I get about 1500 calories a day. I never burn more than a couple hundred calories at a time working out – those who do must be hard core!
Everybody and every body is different. You find what works for you.
You’ve got to figure out what works for you. To me, it sounds like this is working for you and unless it’s not, why change it.
I’m 5’8 and 155 and exercise for 45 minutes plus 5 or 6 days a week. Running is my hobby and I love it. To maintain my weight, I eat 1400-1600 calories a day and am proud that I have a toned physique. That being said, I also know that a part of this is genetic. My mother is an avid yogi and hiker and has a similar weight and frame and also has commented that she (in her late 50’s) now finds that if she eats more than 1300 cal/day, she gains. This is all to say that although general guidelines exist, there is not an exact number that is right for everyone.
I have started counting calories, and should be around 1200 a day in order to lose some poundage. However, I find that if I stick to 1200, I often get lightheaded and might end up with a migraine (not eating enough is a trigger for me). How does one reduce their caloric intake if these sorts of things are an issue? Had my annual recently and all labs are normal. It’s quite frustrating to make a committment to myself to reduce my caloric intake and then find it difficult to do!
I had the same problem once. The app MyFitnessPal calculated that I should eat 1200 calories/day, but when I did that I got headaches and didn’t feel well. I upped it a bit to 1300-1450 and still lost weight. I just don’t think 1200 is healthy for a lot of people.
+1,000.
You might lose weight slightly slower by upping your calories a bit, but you’re more likely to keep the weight off because you’re establishing the healthy eating habit over a longer period of time AND it’s really not good for you to feel light headed and get migraines. As in, your body is being harmed when you’re feeling those symptoms. A few lbs aren’t worth that.
I’m 5’4″ and have been losing on 1500 cals the days I don’t exercise and 1800 the days I do exercise. I’m losing about 1.5-2 lbs per month, but it adds up after a while. And I feel happy and healthy, not miserable, which makes all the difference.
+1
reducing calories to the point where I have headaches and can’t focus at work means I just eat 450 calories of cheese itz and cookies that I bought from the snack machine at 4 pm so I could do my job.
It sounds like your calorie requirements are higher because you are very active… and 60-90 minutes of intense exercise every single day is a LOT of calories. Why on earth would you be trying to reduce that, just to be at some arbitrary “correct” or average caloric requirement? It sounds like you are all around really healthy, and you are hungry because your body needs those calories to function.
I wouldn’t worry about it unless you’re trying to lose weight, honestly. If you’re exercising a lot and you’re hungry, eat! I used to run a lot and I couldn’t eat enough to maintain my weight. It really depends on you, 2500 calories is totally reasonable if you’re running at least 5 miles – that’s barely maintenance for me.
Have any of you found that your metabolism changed as you got older / more sedentary? Not gradual changes, but that it fell off a cliff?
I am terribly sedentary and eat like a farmhand. I feel that I am living on borrowed time. Is this a menopause thing (I turn 45 this year)?
I started to put on weight around 40, my doctor said metabolism tends to drop off then. I’m 55 now and going through menopause and it seems to be getting worse. OTOH by best friend, the same age, has probably gained all of 5 pounds from her college weight of, oh, 100 (and she drinks a lot of beer!), so YMMV.
General estimate, per my undergrad nutrition class, is that the average person’s metabolism slows about 100 cal/day every 10 years. Doesn’t sound like much, but that’s nearly 1 lb/month. I’m in my mid-30’s and feel that’s roughly true of my experience.
A drop-off at menopause would be consistent with what many women in that period of life have shared with me.
Yes, fell off the cliff at 50. Though lifting weights and regular activity (walking, biking and yoga) has mitigated the gain but it’s more of a struggle to maintain than before.
I think it’s normal. I would suggest lifting weights. As people (and women in particular get older) adding muscle gets even more important than cardio. I also heard weight gain shifts in the 40s/50s due to menopause. A lot of women who gained weight in their hips/thighs start to notice more weight in the midsection.
TJ-Has anyone done a Kerastraight treatment?
I have awful hair that is curly in some sections, wavy in others, and just flat and limp in others–and frizzy all over. I usually end up doing a bun, chignon, or french twist because it’s so miserable, and wearing it down requires a lot of time blowdrying then flat ironing.
I dont think I’ll get poker straight hair, but hoping for less frizz, easier styling so I can cut down my time to straighten it (right now I spend about an hour).
Thoughts? Recommendations?
I’ve done a keratin treatment (not sure if it the same thing) just on the crown section b/c the gray hairs there didn’t match my normal (straight / limp) hair. I really like and get redone evey season or so.
I have naturally thick, wavy hair that was unmanageable and frizzy. I’ve done several straightening treatments (not sure which brand/formula specifically) and loved them. I can now blow-dry my hair in about 10 minutes with no styling effort, and it looks better and lasts longer than it did when I wrestled my hair with a round brush for 45 minutes every morning. At first I used a product that washed out after 3-6 months, so I had it done in the spring before our very humid summers, and then again before the holidays if I could afford it. Now my stylist is using something more permanent, and I have it done once a year when my hair grows out and the texture on top is different than the bottom.
I can’t speak specifically to Kerastraight, but my suggestion is to go to a salon/stylist who applies straightening treatments often and offers a range of products so he or she can give you a treatment that’s best for your hair’s texture and your desired results.
I’m frustrated with shutterfly. I like their quality of photo gifts (picture mugs that don’t fade through many, many washes compared to other sellers), but recently it seems they’ve been jacking up their shipping prices and offering fake discounts on merchandise.
Now, for example, I got a $20 off (a minimum $20 purchase) by email, probably since I’ve spent a lot with them this year, but when I put that value of merchandise into my cart, the shipping costs come to $20! For a little mug and a magnet!