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Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
Got jealous of everybody’s Caribbean vacations so I just booked a trip to Vieques in March…
I’m going by myself, but I’m kind of excited. I got a pretty good deal. I just want to lie on the beach and read. The place I’m staying has a restaurant and a daily happy hour so I can meet people there.
That sounds wonderful! Laying on the beach or next to the pool while reading a book sounds like heaven to me right now.
went there 4 years ago and loved it – have an amazing time! Stayed at the Inn on the Blue Horizon which also had a restaurant and HH so if that’s your hotel you’ll be happy! FWIW I thought Navio and Secret Beach were the two best :)
Huh, i just got invited to a wedding in Vieques, but it was to spendy and we’d already committed to a wedding in Cancun within 6 weeks of this one. But it looks awesome, it’s definitely going on the ‘to visit’ list.
Went there for my bar trip. The bio bay was definitely a highlight!
Bought this on the recommendation of someone here (thank you!) THEN bought them as stocking stuffers! Huge hit!
Also bought one thanks to a recent discussion here. It’s been great for clearing up my back.
First Year Anon
I am very intrigued! I want to buy one- do you recall where you got it? I don’t want to deal with potential knock-off concerns.
Amazon. Looks like Bay Area Housewares was the seller.
Truth be told more then 50% of the Salux cloths on amazon are knockoffs. The most reliable seller is the saluxshop. They are the direct distributor. Great service fast and free shipping.
yes, I got them on Amazon from that seller. We all got a kick out of reading the directions and the pictures, too!
I got one for the holidays, and I’m already obsessed with it. Got it from Amazon as well.
Asian markets sometimes carry them. A specifically Japanese market almost certainly does. Ive also started to see them in mainstream places as well. I don’t remember for sure where, Target or Walgreens probably. So, you might look around before ordering.
I’m really curious about this- how many of you would consider yourself ambitious? Ambitious defined as it’s really important to you to make it to the top of your field or make some huge contribution to your field rather than in terms of money and status.
I do consider myself ambitious, but not according to your definition (or what you excluded from it). I want to be a successful and respected leader and contributor at work, and a kick-a$$ wife, mother, and friend. I think achieving that balance is highly, highly ambitious.
Definitely. How do you define “successful and respected leader”? How much does it matter to you how far up the ladder (or whatever) you go?
Anon for Now
By your definition, I would say yes. Which is funny because sometimes I feel like the answer is no based on other definitions, namely those that put a premium on money as a success marker.
I currently work in the government sector and my goal is to stay in government for the duration, ideally making it to an elected judicial post in a few years. I suppose that will have a certain amount of prestige at some point but the way it works in my state, it takes more than a few years to work your way up there. For the time being, I am working in what often feels like the background with few people that I went to law school with understanding what I do and many making substantially more money, so sometimes it feels very unambitious to me as a result, like I am only in this for the federal holidays, reasonable working hours and relative job security.
Must be Tuesday
I’m not ambitious by your definition, in that I don’t care about making it to the top of my field or making a huge contribution to the field (nor do I care about making a ton of money or achieving a certain status).
My goal is to do my job well on a day-to-day basis, be respected by other professionals and clients as someone who is good at what I do, and provide quality representation to my (mostly low-income) clients. I would like to do that while earning enough to comfortably live on and also working few enough hours on a reasonable enough schedule to have a personal life outside of the office, where I can dedicate sufficient time to non-work interests.
This describes my attitude as well. I will say that I used to be ambitious career-wise, aspiring to lots of competitive achievements and recognition, but now I’m much more focused on enjoying my daily life. (The two were mutually exclusive, despite what I told myself.) I understand that this shift often happens as people age.
I consider myself ambitious. I want to be considered as among the best in my field.
No. If I had a field I was super interested in I might want to be, but I just want to do “good enough” work and be an awesome wife and mom.
I’m very ambitious, in the classical career/money sort of way.
I consider myself very ambitious. I want to be a respected leader in my field, though I wouldn’t necessarily say I need to be at the very top of the field.
Question for you cold weather commuters.
I wear Bean boots in the winter and walk to work (15-20 minutes) every day. I’m looking at crampons, but am confused about the ones with steel. I walk on sidewalks – some are shoveled clean but some are not. This is the primary reason for feeling like I need some extra traction as some businesses don’t ever shovel their sidewalk making for an icy, bumpy walk that lasts the entire winter. But what about walking on the cleared sidewalks with the steel studded crampons? Or the marble lobby of my office building? Or a day of shopping going in and out of stores?
Are there non-steel options people like? Are the steel studs no big deal?
Crampons are typically for winter rock climbing (hiking etc). I’d recommend YakTraxs instead.
+1 to YaxTraxs anywhere outdoors, but I’d probably try to take them off before crossing a marble lobby.
This. I wear my Yaktrax (which I orginally bought for running outside in the winter) to and from work on icy days, but you must take them off before crossing a marble lobby. Fortunately mine has carpet tile down for the winter this year.
You can’t wear crampons on the sidewalk! They’re for hiking up glaciers or hiking in the snow/ice.
I wear YakTrax with my Bean boots to walk to work on intermittent unshoveled, icy sidewalks. Work like a charm.
Please skip this post if you are triggered by/dislike discussions of weight, etc.
I read today somewhere that differences in metabolism only account for up to 2oo calories a day. In other words, if someone is thin, it’s because they’re eating/exercising accordingly. I know bone structure accounts for differences in appearance and BMI as well. But I’m curious, for those readers who are “thin,” with, say, a BMI of <21, do you feel that you watch what you eat? Do you exercise more than 3 times a week? I'm working towards my goal weight but wondering if, for thin people, it is always a struggle to stay thin or if it becomes second nature. Are you always aware of your weight? If you eat an unhealthy meal, do you compensate for it in less food/more exercise the following day/week?
I’ve have healthy eating habits (eat a lot of vegetables, no meat, very few desserts) and work out daily. 5 or 6 times a week when I’m totally slammed. I’ve always been very athletic, so I have performance goals that are important to me, plus I really need a hard workout to destress and clear my head to keep myself productive at work. I don’t really compensate consciously after I’ve had an unhealthy meal, but I just always feel so much better when I’m in my routine, so it comes pretty naturally.
I wasn’t always this way, in fact about 8 years ago I was on the chubby side and had terrible eating habits, so a healthy lifestyle in which these things become second nature is definitely achievable. I think for me in that transition period, the most important thing was to focus on something other than working toward being thin. Like working toward a performance goal, or feeling excited about getting to try new foods at home and feeling good about all the good stuff nutrients do for my body. I learned to love working out; I feel superhuman on the good days. When I started to do it for that reason rather than losing weight I think is when the whole healthy lifestyle thing became totally second nature.
thanks for this. can you elaborate a little bit more on your eating habits- when you say very few desserts, do you mean a couple times a week, or almost never? I am vegetarian as well and am struggling with finding meals (specifically dinners) that have enough protein to keep me full and satisfied and aren’t a huge hassle to cook.
Hmm. Regarding desserts, I’d say it’s highly variable. A lot of the time, it’s almost never. But when there’s a need/desire, I’m much more lenient. For example, my parents were visiting me for about a month over the holidays, and I love spending time with them, taking them to new restaurants etc. So during that period, I’d say it was several times a week. Usually I ask myself whether eating a particular unhealthy thing will add a lot to my experience/happiness, and if not I abstain until a different occasion.
I LOVE a good salad, so I eat those a lot. I put a range of things in them (cheese, beans, eggs, avocados, etc) so they’re actually fairly filling/satisfying. Do you eat soy products? One of my quick and easy meals is spaghetti (w/ wheat noodles) and meatballs made out of that fake meat stuff. Also a lot of quinoa and lentils.
Honestly I’ve never had an issue finding enough protein in my diet, so It’s hard to know what to suggest. Nuts are very filling though; I eat a lot of those.
Thanks for the soy meatball suggestion- I’m not a big fan of fake meat (even before I was vegetarian I never ate red meat so I don’t have a taste for it) but I’ve been getting more into the fake “chicken” products at Trader Joes. I could imagine putting some chicken “strips” into a pasta dish or salad. Do you eat a lot of dairy? I find that it’s where I get most of my protein but unfortunately (unless I go the plain yogurt route which I hate) it also has a lot of added sugars.
+1 to nuts. Chickpeas and avocadoes are also foods that will fill you up.
You can make homemade “meatballs” and “burgers” from black beans, or just eat the black beans in a salad or a casserole mixed with brown rice or quinoa. Do you eat eggs? Try fried brown rice (using just a little oil) with sauteed vegetables, soy sauce, and an egg scrambled in.
I eat a fair bit of dairy, but I wouldn’t say it’s a lot. Greek yoghurt is filling, and I really like good cheese (usually in salad). I also put eggs in many things- with the yolk.
Anon for Now
Lentils are very filling, so are chickpeas, butternut squash, and leafy greens like kale or spinach. I tend to cook with those a lot as I don’t eat meat either.
I also like to throw a poached or sunny-side up egg on top of veggies for protein. With certain other veggies like zucchini I just make a huge bowl-full for dinner. Something about eating a big bowl makes me very satisfied.
Some of my regular rotation dinners:
Lentils, carrots and kale, egg and light sprinkling of parm on top optional.
Tacos made with whole wheat tortillas and roasted butternut squash
Frittata with garden veggies & goat cheese
Zucchini/chickpea bowl with lots of fresh herbs, esp. good with shredded carrots thrown in for crunch
Quinoa salad with some variation of the following: broccoli, asparagus, yellow/green squash, avocado, cucumbers, edamame, etc.
Spaghetti Squash with veggie meatballs from trader joe’s
My eating habits are by no means perfect, but I strive for a balance and to stay within a certain calorie range daily. If I go way over one day, I try to cut back the following day. I am also a regular exerciser — getting in some form of exercise 5-6 times per week. I try to eat lots of fruits and vegetables and I eat minimal dairy as it doesn’t agree with me. However, I am a big proponent of fitting fun stuff in this plan. I drink alcohol in moderation. I eat dessert when I want to. I eat not so healthy stuff at restaurants from time to time. I simply account for these things and eat less other times to make up for it. I never obsess over what I’ve eaten or what I’m going to eat. It sort of happens organically.
I was not always this way. I am in my late 30s and somewhere along the way, something snapped inside me. I was sick of worrying about my weight and what I eat. Ironically, this is when my weight dropped and then stabilized.
I try to only eat out once or twice a week. Breakfast and lunch are almost always food from home. Dinners during the week are home cooked. I usually eat out once or twice a weekend.
I’ll bite (heh). I have no ideas about changing weights because I’ve always been this way, but for me, it’s something that I’m conscious of on a daily basis, but it’s not a struggle by any means and is second nature. I think that I have a good balance – if something really appeals to me, I’ll eat it, regardless of how unhealthy it would be. (I haven’t read the French Women Don’t Get Fat book, but one of my impressions I’ve gotten from the discussions of it is that there’s a lot of focus on not eating food that’s not really good – i.e., if you want chocolate cake, don’t just eat some packaged thing that’s around, but hold out for the really great piece of chocolate cake. That’s definitely something that I try to follow, particularly with bread-type things.)
But I balance that by keeping portions pretty small and eating fairly slowly (i.e., if I want something sweet, I’ll try to aim for a small piece of candy eaten slowly, and I almost never eat an entire restaurant meal), trying to make sure that I have veggies and limit carbs, and avoiding things that aren’t going to offer me any real satisfaction (for me, that means generally avoiding soda, uninspired bread, packaged baked goods). I also try to make sure that I’m prepared with healthy snacks in case I’m hungry, so I don’t eat junk on the run.
I also weigh myself daily, first thing after peeing (I know that’s not for everyone), and have a general idea of what that means – I know that my weight might be X + 2-3 because I ate late last night or had some unusually big meals or am approaching my period, but if it stays that way for more than a couple of days without explanation, it’s time to be a little more mindful of portion control and carbs and work in more veggies, that sort of thing. My thinking is that this would allow me to make little changes before it becomes an actual problem.
(This is how I generally roll. Obviously, it’s tweaked some now that I’m pregnant, though that’s still a general description.)
I have healthy eating habits as well. I’m vegetarian and don’t particularly crave sugar, I like only a few desserts and tend towards the creamy rather than the sugary. So, for instance, I like tiramisu and creme brulee, but not candy, and I don’t come across tiramisu or creme brulee much on a daily basis. If I’m eating out and I do, sure, I’ll eat it and not think twice about it. I never count calories or restrict eating in any way, but I don’t crave unhealthy foods much, if that makes sense. If there are treats at work, I’ll eat some if it’s something I love, but otherwise I won’t, and in either case I hardly ever think about it. I also dislike sodas etc. for the same reason (don’t like sugary foods) and drink coffee without sugar as well.
I don’t snack if you don’t count afternoon coffee. I will sometimes have a little biscotti or shortbread cookie with my afternoon coffee. Other than that I eat only 3 meals a day but they are big meals and I’m always full and satisfied after them. I never skip them and always eat on the same schedule, and always stop when I’m full.
I like spicy foods and ethnic cuisines, so for vegetarian dinners I’ll often eat tofu stirfries, Indian food, falafel wraps etc. and I eat a lot and it keeps me full and satisfied. I hardly eat salads except as a side (say with Greek food) because I get hungry an hour later. But I love veggies and fruit and yoghurt and incorporate them into almost every meal or certainly every day.
I exercise about 2-3 times on weekdays (lunchtime class, yoga, or gym) and once on weekends (have a class that I love). To answer your question, it is not a struggle for me to stay at the same weight (BMI of 21.4).
At times I’ve had particularly intense workouts (joined a new class or a fitness trend) and my BMI has dropped a bit further to 20-something. I don’t keep track but know that I’m fitting into some of my smaller outfits.
I ate a ton of junk growing up but I also was always involved in athletics. I was underweight. Turns out I had undiagnosed Crohn’s disease. I’m now in remission but I have a restricted diet because of it. I’m no longer underweight but I haven’t gained crazy amounts of weight either. I don’t eat dairy or gluten. I still eat a ton and I don’t exercise anywhere near as often as I should. I will go through phases where I run daily but then I go through other phases (like right now) where I exercise maybe once/month. I eat a lot of meat and veggies, not much in refined carbs. I really think some of it is just genetics and I got lucky in that regard. I think the teenage athleticism played a role and the crohns definitely does too. If I eat way way way too much or something really unhealthy, I end up getting sick. I go number 2 more than most people, even in remission and I think that plays a part in my weight.
Yikes. I have to polish my message here. I do *not* think I was lucky to have crohn’s disease. I would absolutely rather weigh much more and not have crohn’s disease. I meant to the extent I have genetics OTHER than Crohn’s keeping me thin, I got lucky.
I actually get very upset when people (in my past) said “I wish I had Crohn’s so I could be skinny like you.” Nope, no you don’t.
Anon for this one
I grew up naturally very skinny (i.e., got very awful comments from people about eating disorders I never had). I distinctly remember eating fairly bad food in high school (toaster strudels for breakfast, nachos at school, carne asada quesadillas like it was a religion). This carried into college when I ate whatever I wanted, like cheeseburgers, etc. but I also waited tables and then bartended 30+ hours a week so I was on my feet constantly although I never technically worked out.
Now I’m in my early 30s and have two toddlers. I am still very thin by most standards although definitely not skinny. I exercise 3x per week now and have adjusted my eating habits. I never count calories and I never force myself to eat something that doesn’t sound good. I try to avoid fake foods – like stuff with corn syrup but I won’t hesitate to order duck confit or something else indulgent but, in my weird rationale, is “real food” even if technically not that healthy. I nearly never snack at work.
A normal work day menu for me is a greek yogurt and coffee for breakfast, a Trader Joes microwavable Indian food meal for lunch and then for dinner something like shrimp/carnitas/beef tacos with chipotle mayo, cheese, salsa and lettuce and a side of black beans. On the weekend I will go bigger for dinner – Saturday I made a rack of lamb with a side of roasted fingerling potatoes and sautéed kale sprouts (these are delicious, btw). I nearly always have something sweet for desert. Usually it’s dark chocolate but we have a lot of cookies around the house right now so I have been eating those. Plus a glass of red wine maybe every other weeknight and maybe more on the weekend.
Not sure if this is helpful but I definitely get the feeling that while I may eat slightly healthier than average, much of my weight is attributable to pure luck.
I’m a recovered anorexic, and so I’ve been through a long process of getting to a healthy place in terms of my body and my relationship to food. The big difference now is that food is not emotional to me. I actually think that’s the biggest contributor to my current healthy body outlook and healthy self-image. I don’t classify foods as “bad” or “good” (I think that this is huge). I also don’t compensate (by eating less or working out more) if I eat a big meal – I just rely on having established a healthy day-to-day routine and figure that the occasional day where I eat more or less than normal will even out in the long run.
I exercise 5+ times/week, for anywhere from 45 minutes to 90 minutes. And in general, I try not to keep stuff around if I know that I’ll have trouble with portion control. There’s some interesting information out there about healthy eating – essentially, people with healthier diets are not actually better at resisting temptation; they’re better at avoiding it. But that’s it. The biggest contributor to physical health, when it comes to diet and exercise, in my opinion, is emotional health.
I’ve always been more or less a “naturally thin” size 2-4, which I think is largely due to genetics (my mom has a similar build, eats whatever she wants, and remains a size 8 in her 60’s). After recovering from an eating disorder in my teens, I try to avoid any extreme food/exercise behaviors, but I also do generally like my body and the size I am and would like to keep it this way as long as possible, while still enjoying life. :) My friends and coworkers make fun of me because they think I can eat “whatever I want” without gaining weight, but in reality, I have some tips/tricks that I use on a daily basis to stay in shape. I’ve been doing these things for the last 4-5 years, and they’ve become second nature now.
-Mindful eating. I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. Not like “OMG stuffed can’t breathe full”, but basically satisfied/not hungry anymore. I try to listen to my body and put my fork down when I get to that pleasantly-satisfied-but-not-stuffed point. I genuinely think this practice allows me to eat “bad foods” like pasta/burgers/dessert when I want them, because I’m eating enough for my body but not stuffing myself with them. Everything in moderation, right?
-Water. I try to drink as much water/tea as possible throughout the day. I read somewhere that it’s easy for us to confuse hunger and thirst, so when I feel “hungry”, I try to have a glass of water and determine whether I’m really hungry or whether I’m dehydrated. Plus my skin looks better and I feel I have more energy.
-Sleep. I try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Being well-rested gives me the energy for exercise and I find myself making better food choices when I’m not tired.
-Eat what I want when I want it. This might sound weird, but I’m not a big fan of dinner. Generally, I eat my biggest meals for breakfast and lunch, because I’m hungriest earlier in the day, and then dinner tends to be smaller (Greek yogurt with granola, a homemade “pizza” on a whole wheat pita with tomato sauce and cheese, etc). Why eat a big dinner if I’m not actually hungry for one/my body doesn’t want a lot of food? I think a lot of people think that dinner automatically has to be a big meal, simply because it’s dinner, but I just try to give my body what it wants. Also, if I want a cookie/slice of cake/pasta/whatever, I have it. Having a little bit of something when I want it keeps my portions reasonably-sized and prevents a binge when I have a bad day.
-Exercise. I was an active kid growing up and try to exercise 3-4 times a week, but I also try to be active as much as possible in my daily life. I take the stairs when I can, walk the long way to the mailbox in our apartment complex, and try to view annoying chores like emptying the dishwasher and making the bed a way to get some exercise in.
-Weigh myself frequently. Not in an obsessive way where the number really matters, but if I notice the scale creeping up, I’ll switch to salads for lunch for a few days or try to fit in an extra barre class for a few weeks. Caveats to this: no weighing myself immediately after a vacation or holiday (I give myself a week or so to go back to normal habits and let my body readjust) or during that time of the month.
I’m not perfect by any means – my diet could definitely use more fruits/vegetables and less processed foods, but the tips outlined above have done a lot to keep me at a size I’m happy with while still enjoying the occasional (okay, daily) indulgence. The book “French Women Don’t Get Fat” contains a lot of these principles (I read it recently and frequently found myself nodding in agreement, though I wish I had more time to cook and access to more local farmer’s markets).
I’ve always been thin. For reference, I’m 28, 5’2″, 103-107 lbs depending on the time of day/ what I’ve been eating and drinking. When I was young I was underweight and ate whatever I wanted. My parents emphasized healthy eating but I’d manage to find a way to eat sweet and fatty foods. I was an active kid and active in high school sports. I stayed thin through college, but stopped being athletic. I still walked a lot. In grad school my weight stayed the same, and I actually dropped weight during periods where I was so anxious I couldn’t eat. Everyone loved to joke/ comment about my weight/size compared with my apparent ability to eat endless quantities of food. After grad school I started to gain a little bit of weight and it totally freaked me out because I’d never had to worry about it before-and I just didn’t feel like myself. I wasn’t exercising at all, was working at a desk, and was eating and drinking beer like I always had. I eventually got up to about 115lbs and was starting to look like a sausage in my clothes. Over the last few years I’ve made some gradual changes in my diet and started to exercise very moderately and I’ve gotten (slowly but surely) back to the size I feel “right” at (I’ve written this on here before). Now I’d just like to tone up and work out for my health, generally.
I always envisioned myself as a glutton who could eat whatever, and in some ways that *was* true. I just always feel like I was a neurotic person with a fast metabolism. However, objectively, I still ate small portion sizes (I always have leftovers at restaurants, split sandwiches from delis into two meals), avoided fast food and soda, ate very slowly, and ate a pretty healthy diet and minimal processed foods. I do pay more attention now, and try to have some days of moderation/healthy eating after days of holiday chocolate. On the whole, it’s not a struggle for me.
I am thin with what I believe is a pretty high metabolism. I stay fairly thin regardless of whether I exercise or not, but when I do not exercise, I find that my stomach and thighs get a bit flabby. When I do exercise, I get a bit more toned, but not too toned.
My diet varies. Some days/weeks, I totally binge on snacks, but as I am getting older, I try to focus on eating healthier meals and snacks.
Things I notice I do differently than others: 1) I stop eating when I’m full. Often this means awkwardly leaving anywhere from a single bite to half of my plate. When I’m full, I stop. I’m used to doing this and now I can pretty much gauge that I should be getting full soon and stop. 2) I eat many small meals. I eat two breakfasts, a snack (yogurt, chocolate covered raisins, anything), a decent-sized lunch (this is probably my biggest meal), an afternoon snack, dinner, and something small for dessert. 3) I 100% make sure that I eat breakfast in the morning. I usually eat a bowl of cereal or oatmeal before work, and then something else when I get to work.
My BMI is currently 21.4. Since switching birth control prescriptions, I’ve gained 5-10 pounds. I’m in my mid-twenties though, and I’ve always been thin. I was extremely thin in high school, with sports coaches wondering if I was getting enough to eat at home. I continued to play sports in college, and have somewhat struggled to maintain my college weight since going to law school and now working full time. So, to answer your questions, I am “thin” but I do have to work to maintain my weight. I work out six times per week. I don’t go out to eat often, though when I do, I overindulge and often feel guilty about it. I have a hard time stopping eating snacks like chips, cookies, and popcorn, so I don’t buy them for myself. I try to make healthy dinners for myself, like grilled chicken and sweet potatoes. Breakfast is always peanut butter toast on whole grain bread. If I get above a certain weight, I try to watch what I’m eating. My largest struggle is only trying to consume alcohol two days per week. That often means saying no to drinks with dinner. So, overall, it is somewhat of a struggle for me and it’s not always easy.
Hi, I’ve always been under that BMI. For the last 6 months I’ve been exercising 4-6 days a week, but it is for fitness goals/joint issues rather than weight. (In fact, I bulked up at first due to putting on a lot of muscle, then leaned out, so my weight even went up.) Before 6 months ago, though, I hardly worked out – like maybe 4-6 times a YEAR a true work out (I walk everywhere, so not counting that).
I am by no means a super healthy eater. I think a lot of people probably think I have an eating disorder or work out like crazy to eat what I do and have my body on the thinner side. But I think I have good genetics and was raised with good habits. If I am going out to a restaurant, I am not ordering salad and water. I can make that at home. I want to order what the restaurant does well – sometimes that means steak or buttery pasta. But I think I’ve developed a keen sense on when I am full — I think this is a huge issue for many of us as US restaurant portions are enormous. (I also embarrassingly take home a lot of leftovers from restaurants!)
I would say a large part is genetics, of course, but also habits and attitude towards food. I hardly ever order dessert — and I love chocolate — often because I am just too full by the end of meal! I also don’t eat junk food, fast food, packaged sweets, etc. or anything “diet” or “fat free” – ever. If I’m going to consume all those calories, I want something delicious and worth it – brie! Steak! Lobster with butter sauce! Not a dry burger that has been under a heat lamp for 6 hours. Sure, you can look at it from a health standpoint (unknown preservatives and ingredients, empty calories, etc.), but frankly that food just doesn’t taste good to me so I don’t crave it. If I eat a big dinner one night, I will not strictly go clean eating the next day, but often my body is still feeling full so it just naturally wants something on the lighter side.
I come from an ethnic family that cooked/baked everything, so that is definitely part of it. I also wasn’t fed huge portions and encouraged to always clear my plate as a child, which is another habit that is hard to kick if you grew up with it. Almost all of what goes on your plate goes in your mouth, so when eating at home, I aim for smaller portions.
I think us kids in my family grew up with a healthy attitude towards food because our parents did, which is something I didn’t realize until adulthood. We were encouraged by what we could do with our bodies and brains — not by how they looked or what size they fit into. Food was something to be grateful for (to have enough of), something to be enjoyed and savored, something that brought the family together, and something to fuel those bodies and brains to achieve goals. I do think, however, that having a healthy attitude towards food, eating, and your body is so hard to learn if you did not grow up with it and is something I have seen friends struggle and torture themselves over.
I’m thin and all you really have to do is be consistent. Eat well most of the time, exercise regularly most of the time, and maintain your habits. I eat a lot, but a lot of it is very healthy – oatmeal, fresh fruit, lots of veggies, lots of legumes. When I eat junk food I don’t pay attention unless I’m eat a lot every day – and then I don’t really feel like eating a lot of it anymore. Once you get in a pattern you naturally adjust your eating.
However, there are times when I can’t be in a regular pattern because of work and travel, so I do have to make a conscious effort to eat healthy food and not have that extra beer or ice cream or whatever just because I’m out with a group of people and I’m expensing everything, so why not go the fancy places and eat all the things every night? When I do that, if I end up gaining a few pounds I track my calories for a week or too after I get home – I have some friends on myfitnesspal who also have diaries and it is helpful. Then I get back in the rhythm.
I am thin and fit but I work for it 24/7. Do I feel that I watch what you eat? Of course, always. Do I exercise more than 3 times a week? Yes. Yes, it is always a struggle to stay thin and no, it will never become second nature. Yes, I am always aware of my weight. I weigh myself every morning. If I eat an unhealthy meal, I absolutely compensate for it in less food/more exercise the following day (not week, day!). I think it is really easy to just stay within the normal BMI range but a really beautiful lean and toned body takes a lot of effort.
This plus 1,000.
You can be skinny with diet alone but that lends itself to squish. The gym is 100% necessary for a toned body
I do think a good bit of it is genetics, but combined with diet and exercise. I wouldn’t say I watch what I eat — I generally eat what I want to and don’t keep track of it — but I try to eat a balanced diet on the whole and try to not eat once I’m full. I eat a lot of fruit,vegetables,d dairy and whole grains, and not a lot of meat. I do eat something with sugar daily (and don’t worry about sugar in things like yogurt – who has time for that?), usually some chocolate. Exercise 3-5x/week, jogging and weights, plus walk 2 miles/day as part of my commute. Always always always eat my 3 meals a day plus two small afternoon snacks (we usually eat dinner at 9 ish). I do not cut back in the days after a heavy meal or exercise extra to make up for it (I mean, if I’m still full I might eat less at the next meal, but don’t cut back more than that). I weigh myself occasionally at the gym, just to keep a generally eye on things, but otherwise don’t really think about my weight.
In college, I was considerably heavier for a few years, which I attribute to eating more than one dessert per meal in the dining hall and drinking soda. I quit doing those things toward the end of college, and also started exercising (walking for an hour or exercise bike for a half hour, a few times a week). Weight went down. Being out of school, including out of grad school, and working has been the best thing for me, weight-wise — cooking my own food, eating on my own schedule (and keeping to that schedule), having the budget to buy a lot of fruits and vegetables, walking a lot.
Chiming in just to say that body chemistry affects your weight in ways beyond metabolism. A combination of genetics and habits that have become chemically ingrained (i.e., that headache you get when you don’t have caffeine) can make you feel a lot hungrier, less hungry, have cravings, feel fatigued or feel full of energy. Stopping eating when you’re full can be a piece of cake (ha) for some but require intense willpower for others. While I think it’s possible for everyone to eat a healthy diet, don’t let yourself think it’s a character flaw or something if it’s harder for you – that’s part of your body too.
I have always been thin by traditional standards and my BMI has probably never been above 21. When I was younger, I was one of those kids who could eat whatever I wanted and never have to think about it. I was somewhat active, but I really think that was genetics and metabolism. As I have gotten older, I have had to work harder on staying thin. I am probably the thinnest I have been based on how my clothes fit (I don’t do scales), but I am also BY FAR the fittest. I have muscles and I can run long distances and I feel good.
I have a hard time with willpower, so as someone mentioned above, I just don’t keep unhealthy things in the house and I have worked hard to train myself to have only a little bit of something that is unhealthy. I eat pretty much exclusively veggies and various meat proteins, although I do eat some dairy (greek yogurt and cheese). I generally stay away from bread, pasta, etc. I eat smaller portions (compared to normal US size portions). I eat very little processed food, but do allow myself guilty pleasures occasionally. I also do not eat diet foods or low calorie foods. As someone mentioned above, if I want cheese, I want the GOOD cheese. If I want dessert, I want the GOOD dessert, although I do not eat dessert often as I prefer salty to sweet. I will eat dark chocolate when I need a sweet fix though. I do not drink soda or juice, diet or otherwise. I do drink coffee, but the rest of the time it’s still and seltzer water. I used to drink A LOT of alcohol. I have cut most of it out. I initially cut it out because I was behaving badly, but after a while I started to crave it less and less. I will have a beer/glass of wine/cocktail here and there, but again, I will drink something GOOD, versus something sugary or cheap and enjoy it rather than chug it.
I spend Sundays making lunches for the week so I am not tempted to eat out, although if I did eat out I do as others do and order healthy then take at least half of it home.
I workout/run at least 4-5 times a week, usually incorporating HIIT if I am not running. I will ramp up and do a harder workout if I have eaten more calories than normal that day or the day before.
So I guess the short answer is yes, I am thin, and while some of it is genetics, I work really hard to be healthy and fit thin, versus unhealthy and unfit thin.
It’s all genetics in my personal experience – though now that I’m mid 30s and sitting at a desk all day it is slowing down a bit. I have a BMI under 20, hate working out but will do it in spurts (i.e., not work out for a couple months then work out a couple times a week for two weeks or so), and generally don’t watch what I eat – though half the time that means oatmeal for breakfast and half the time a pastry. I do eat a lot of snacks (chocolate bars, ice cream), which is probably where the majority of my calories come from. That said, I’m definitely thin and perceived as thin, but I’m not toned in the slightest. I am a vegetarian, and I do live in NY and so walk places sometimes, so those probably both contribute – but yeah, definitely genetics.
I am decidedly NOT in the low BMI category and have struggled with my weight for most of my adult life after being a very slim and petite child. A nutritionist friend recommended that I watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdqLB6bTuQ&feature=youtu.be
I’m probably going to explain this wrong but basically what the video said was that for some people – the naturally thin ones – the “full” notifications are sent quicker than for the non-naturally thin people. So it is quite often the case that these lucky “naturally thin” people stay thin because their body recognizes that they have eaten enough …better? than the rest of us.
Anyway, just thought I’d share!
Obviously this isn’t a death curse, and can be worked around – e.g. limiting portions ahead of time,
I’ve been thin my whole life. I’m currently 30 years old, 5’3 about 115 lbs. I basically never work out and eat whatever I want. However, I eat very small portions. Yes, I can eat whatever I want, but I can’t eat however much I want. For instance, if I eat fast food (which is rare, maybe once or twice a month), I’ll get a kids meal with 4 chicken nuggets. I’ve never measured or weighed my food or anything like that, though.
I read somewhere that there are two different types of eaters when it comes to diets– the type who has to cut something out entirely (like AA does with alcohol), or those who can limit themselves to small portions. I’m definitely in the second camp. The moment I try to cut a food out of my diet, I freak out and cant stop thinking about it.
I have also had lifelong habits that tend to be the sorts of things that “they” tell you to do– eat on a small plate, use smaller utensils, etc. I also don’t keep a lot of junk food in my house and almost never eat dessert. I have a sweet tooth when it comes to stuff like iced coffee or coke though, so I do drink that.
My mother is quite thin. While helping me out after a hospital stay, her ability to stay thin became clear–she gets hungry infrequently. It was a challenge depending on someone else for food when they get hungry less often and eat smaller meals.
I am thin, 125-130 pounds and 5’9″. I used to obsess about my weight, and it varied up to 160 pounds. Still not bad for my height, but I didn’t feel comfortable. When I quit smoking, years ago, I gained weight and went to Weight Watchers, lost the weight and changed my habits. I learned to listen to my body, stopping when I was full. I don’t do sugar free or fat free foods, but I do eat lean meats and lots of fruits and veggies. I usually allow myself one treat a day, dessert, a candy bar or something like cheese and crackers or an appetizer before dinner. I carry my lunch every day, a sandwich, a price of fruit or some carrots or celery, and a few cookies. ( I have a sweet tooth!) I do like to have a cocktail now and then, but it’s usually Pinot Grigio or vodka and fruit juice. I never feel stuffed and I never feel like I’m denying myself. I’m not much of an exerciser, just walking, but on a random schedule.
I sort of watch what I eat. I try not to eat lots of fried food, and try to eat vegetables if I can. But sometimes I have cravings so I do eat fried food, or have days where I don’t really eat vegetables. I don’t regularly eat fruit, but am trying to incorporate more fruit into my daily food intake. If I am on vacation or visiting somewhere, I really just eat everything and anything I want.
I don’t exercise. (But I probably should.)
I eat out a lot. I don’t drink. I don’t like sweets so only eat dessert rarely. I don’t snack during the day. I don’t drink soda.
I am always aware of my weight. I weigh myself almost daily, right before I shower.
If I eat an unhealthy meal, I don’t eat less, or exercise, but I make sure that I don’t eat yet another unhealthy meal too soon afterward (so maybe I have chick-fil-a today, but I won’t have it for a few weeks).
I have one cup of coffee a day, with the occasional second cup if I need it. It is not a struggle for me to maintain my weight, though I would like to lose a bit of my tubs. I regularly eat 3 meals a day, and always try to eat something dairy in my breakfast (yogurt, or milk, etc.)
I also eat on a budget, which means that sometimes I will order something that is a fairly big portion, but I will eat only half and save the rest for later to save on money for the next meal.
I realize this is anecdotal, of course. But almost everyone I know who is very thin does the following: (1) eats their meals slowly, and stops when they are full — regardless of how much food is left on their plate and (2) does not feel the need to snack on something every 2-3 hours, and doesn’t snack just because they are bored/the food is in front of them (as I do). And, thinness seems to correlate to quantity, as opposed to quality, of food.
Exercise, however, seems to do little for weight.
I am fairly thin and although I do NOT eat slowly (I despise warm food, it must be HOT!), I stop when I am full.
I eat dessert every day, though, and sometimes even twice a day. ;) I do try to fill up on meat-vegs before I fill up on carbs.
I used to have more disordered eating and exercise habits, and I am always aware of my size but MUCH less than I was 10 years ago. I also self-monitor my body less than I did back then. For me it was helpful to let go of counting calories and “clean” and “not clean” foods, and do more of an intuitive eating approach where I eat what I want and when I am hungry.
Must be Tuesday
I agree with this. My personal anecdote: I’ve always been on the relatively thin side with a BMI ranging from 18 to 21. The only time exercise has made any significant difference in my weight was when I was in grad school and dancing so much that it was practically a part time job, somewhere in the range of 15-20 hours per week. My weight dropped about 10 pounds during those approx. 2 years although I was eating a bit more than usual, and I was the thinnest I’d ever been in my adult life. Outside of that, my weight fluctuates with my quantity of food eaten. I generally eat fairly healthily, and have small meals and infrequent snacks. When I first went away to college and was eating whatever I wanted when I wanted, I gained the freshman 15. I scaled back my sophomore year and lost the weight. When I first moved in with my SO a few years ago (in my 30s at this point), my weight went up a bit because he likes to cook and there would always be a lot of really good food in the house, so I would have 2nds (or 3rds) at dinner and be more likely to eat a larger amount of left-overs too, because everything was so good. I gained some weight, and had to make a conscious effort to scale back my eating to my pre-living-together habits, and not just mindlessly eat the food because it was there (and soooo good). I still haven’t lost all the weight I’ve gained since we moved in together, but I’m not as high as I was during our first year living together. When I eat healthier in terms of quality, I generally feel better, but it doesn’t seem to have much impact on my weight.
I am “thin,” and I absolutely do not eat slowly. In fact, I eat really fast. While I don’t snack every few hours, I always have a piece of fruit, or two, mid-afternoon and a yogurt just before leaving work, so I’m eating a few times between lunch and dinner.
Wait, eating a few times between lunch and dinner – that’s snacking.
Yes. But not every 2-3 hours all day. Between lunch and dinner is like a 9 or 10 hour period.
Lunch at noon, dinner at 10pm? That’s a bit unconventional. Still, to eat a few times between those, you would have to eat at, for example, 2:30pm, 5pm and 7:30 pm, which would be exactly every 2-3 hours.
Us fatties aren’t eating every 20 mins either. Fruit and yogurt in the afternoon are snacks.
Silly question, but it’s been on my mind. I’m in the last few (3!) weeks of pregnancy and getting weekly appointments and soon, cervical checks. I’m way past the point where I can even trim down there as I used to do. Even bending a bit is extremely uncomfortable and I havent been able to see below my belly button for a while now. To be clear I’m not on the full brazilian bandwagon (to each her own) but I tend to keep the hair very short in normal life, as I tend to be hairy otherwise.
However, I’d like to be at least reasonably trimmed or shaved there for easier checking and frankly, because I’m a bit embarrassed at the state of things when doctors take a peek. What do people do in this situation? A wax etc. is out – I dont even do that normally and I’m not going to let a stranger near me at this advanced stage.
I’ve been asking my SO to help use my personal trimmer, and he’s not unwilling but thinks I’m making too big a deal of it. Are OBGYNs used to this (as he says), and do other pregnant women not bother at this stage?
I had my husband tidy things up with the beard trimmer…fast and easy. Just tell him it’s itchy and you would feel so much more like yourself if he’d help you out. I agree that the OB has probably seen it all and doesn’t care!
To be succinct: if you are worried that your hairiness will offend or upset your OB, put your mind at rest.
Seconded. I promise they don’t care. Or that it will make checking dilation any easier or harder.
And if you have a c-section, you’re going to be shaved with an electric razor – zip, zip, zip.
I have crohns and I decided a long time ago that if a medical professional ever made me feel bad about my personal grooming that they were not professional enough to be my doctor.
Oh hi fellow Crohnie!
Ob gyns have SEEN IT ALL. For real. Do not worry about this.
I have a friend who skipped her shower and put on some scented lotion before her pap smear one morning. She realized later it was glitter lotion. Her doctor hadn’t even blinked. :)
OK, so I’m sure this issue the way things category, but my (3) boys were all born before I realized how much I enjoyed trimming the garden. It wasn’t really that long ago, but it want something I even considered back then (9-15 years ago).
I say make sure you’re clean (as I’m sure you will be), and the medical professionals won’t care.
And good luck with your last few weeks!
I’m as pregnant as you are, only this isn’t my first pregnancy. I mean this in the nicest possible way, as a means of putting your mind at ease: something like 80-90% of women p**p while giving birth. So not only does your OB not care about your hair, s/he doesn’t care about shit, literally. It’s part of the job.
If you want to be trimmed for you (even though you can’t see it) or so there’s less to get caught up and matted in your lochia (ugh) or so if you end up with a c-section they won’t have to shave you on the table, fine. Tell your SO he’s right, you are making too big a deal of it but you’re going to need his help anyway. But PLEASE don’t think your OB cares at all.
While I’d normally have a different grooming routine, that fell to about -45 on my list of priorities when pregnant. Maybe lower. I can’t imagine OBs haven’t seen everything. Once I considered maybe doing something about it, but then I was struck by the countervailing through that my OB might think I was an appearances-obsessed ninny if, in an advanced state of pregnancy, I was running around getting waxed, or whatever. So, essentially, I’d say do something about it if it bothers YOU, but don’t lift a finger to conform to whatever you think a doctor expects.
Completely agree that OBs don’t care.
But it matters to *me* so SO definitely cleaned me up on the regular and definitely in the later weeks when there were GSB test, internal exams, L&D, and post-partum bleeding.
Trimming will not make the check easier. The doctor really, really, really doesn’t care.
This. The hair is on your vulva. The check is of your cervix, which is inside your vagina.
What about during the delivery though? Lack of hair would help with better visibility maybe for any tearing or episiotomy, or to deliver local anesthetic for the area before stitches I assume.
Your tear will not be near the hair. And by that point, you’re not going to care. I know I got sewn up, but I can’t remember anything about the delivery past the actual birth besides holding my baby.
Good luck on the birth!
Thank you all. I think I really needed to hear a few times that the doctor isn’t secretly judging me or thinking “gross”! Also I did think that the lack of hair would make the check easier.
I will still bug my SO to help with the trim, so I feel a bit better, but not in the “OMG I have an appointment tomorrow” way.
I’m due in 4 weeks and I’m glad you posted! I often have the same feeling of being judged, though I know it’s illogical, so it was good to read the responses.
I think I too will have the SO do a trim sometime in the next few weeks, based on what people here and elsewhere have said about postpartum bleeding. Good luck!
I never comment on here but read avidly. I’m a primary care physician and do lots of pelvic exams/Paps etc. I wanted to let the original poster know that everyone above is correct. Doctors do not care about whether someone is waxed or not. We don’t care if you’ve shaved your legs or your armpits. I know some women do shave or get waxed before an aptmt with me but it is entirely unnecessary. Patients not infrequently apologize about their hairy legs etc. and I always tell them “We don’t care about that.” So do whatever you feel comfortable with but know that your ob/gyn likely feels similar to me.
For those of you who have dealt with debt collectors I am wondering how do you handle a situation where they contact you but you are still unable to settle the debt. In this case I have been unemployed for sometime (>1 yr) and a collector I last spoke to a couple of months ago called and left a message to contact them. When we last spoke I thought things would improve but they haven’t. Just wondering whether I should call them back now or buy some time as I am still waiting for responses for positions I recently applied for. I’m finding it hard to maintain a positive outlook in my circumstances and I am finding that I get even more anxious when I make a call to someone just to say I still can’t pay you back…..
Been in the debt collection business for 20+ years and creditors always would rather you call them then for you to wait and then give them bad news when they call and if you don’t call them back they’ll keep calling and you will worry about it more. I know it is hard but give them a call and get it over with.
+1 Having done collections before, call them, tell them honestly and it usually is better. Where I worked, we had to make contact or call until we did. If we made contact and the party told us, ‘Yep. Still unemployed/not able to pay/etc.’, I could set them to not be called again for a month; however, we had to make contact ot do that.
Yay! Afternoon threads on a beauty washrag! I have used one like this for about a year. It work’s great. In fact, my dentist say’s I have the nicest skin, even tho I know I do NOT!
As for the OP, hug’s to you. I was in a busness where we were serveing supeenie’s and summonse’s, often in connection with debt collection, so we heard alot of different stories. But I agree that honesty is the best policy. I hope that you are abel to get a job so that you can pay your debt’s back. YAY!
Myrna’s brother keep’s texteing me and now Myrna is heareing from him that we are texteing alot. I told her that he is doeing all the texteing and that I am queezie about dateing him b/c of our releationship. Myrna says I should NOT worry and we would still be freinds even if it does NOT work out with her brother. She said that he has not had a girlfreind in a VERY long time, so he has alot of pent up energy to find a girlfreind. How can I tell her that he is NOT my type? He seem’s nice enough, but the comic book stuff is so juvenile! I cannot imagine how a guy who dresses up in a Haloween costume would be mature enough to support me and our children. Myrna’s brother say’s he is anxius to get MARRIED and have kid’s right away, but I worry that he will take the kid’s to comic book convention’s rather then allow ME to teach the kid’s real family values.
What does the hive think? Even dad say’s to date him, so it is 3 against 1 (me). Help!
Kat mentioned something about apricot scrubs in her post. I guess I missed the memo on that! I still occasionally (every week or two) use the most well known brand of apricot scrub. Was that determined to be unhealthy for skin?
Scrubs are not necessarily unhealthy, they are good for exfoliating but they can be irritating for some people. Also not good when over used. Not sure if there is a particular brand of scrub Kat was referring to but I say if the scrub is working for you, no need to stop
I’m assuming the St. Ives apricot scrub which at some point was deemed too abrasive for the skin. I always felt like it left my skin super soft after using it. Definitely don’t use it every day.
I’ll probably have to post this again on today’s thread, but it’s worth a shot.
I posted a couple of days ago about a job offer elsewhere in my organization that I understood as still pending salary negotiation, but the new office had already put me on their email lists and had a new mentor assigned to me. I asked the HR rep for clarification, and apparently she thought that during our original phone conversation I accepted the offer (I’m assuming because I said “I’m still interested.”) I later submitted a counteroffer, and she said that in that intervening time, she told the office that I accepted, then had to go back and tell them that I accepted pending a higher salary, which is pending approval w/ the higher ups in HR). Anyway, I’m a little unsure of how to handle this, given that in my mind I didn’t accept outright, but she thinks I did, so now I’m some person who accepts job offers and then goes back and asks for more money. Obviously I need to clear this up, and I could really use some suggestions.