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Thursday’s TPS Report: Asymmetric Neck Sheath Dress

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Ivy & Blu Asymmetric Neck Sheath DressI think I've featured this dress before, but this lovely oxblood color is new to me, and I think this is a better sale than what I've seen in the past. The dress was $158, then marked to $115, but with the extra 30% off sale now comes down to $80.50 — sizes 2-16 still left. I might try it with black accessories (tights, cardigan or blazer, a distinctive black necklace) in the fall, and perhaps a chambray blazer (or something else light blue) as it approaches spring. (This black dress from Taylor also looks amazing as a desk to dinner dress.) Ivy & Blu Asymmetric Neck Sheath Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

202 Comments

  1. I love this color.

    Ladies, I have a fruit fly problem. Tons of tiny bugs all around my apple basket. They stay even after I get rid of the apples. I recall some talks of effective traps and other good ways to get rid of them here. I googled around and there is just too much contradictory advice. Tried and tested ideas?

    1. This strategy is slightly gross, but effective:

      I took a brown paper bag, laid it on its side in the room where the flies were concentrated, then put citrus peels in the back of the bag. I left the bag out for around 24 hours (and made sure there were absolutely no other things anywhere to distract the fruit flies, so they basically all flew into the bag) then sprayed bugspray into the bag, slammed the bag closed, and threw it away. After that, I kept bugspray on hand for about a week to get the few stragglers who hadn’t made it into the bag, and was fruit fly free within a week.

    2. I think most peoples solution is vinegar + dish soap. Apple cider vinegar attracts them, the soap will screw up the equilibrium of the water and pull them down in the bowl.

      3. I did apple cider vinegar and dish soap in a cup but then made a funnel out of a plastic baggie with the corner cut out, so the flies could get in easily but not out. I left it out for a week and they all were gone.

    3. Apple cider vinegar (or red wine) + a few drops of dish soap – cover loosely with saran wrap, punch some holes in it. They’ll get in but not out.

      1. Yes, and then make sure you have all fruit/veg in the refrigerator when you set the traps.

      2. This method worked great for me. I trapped 45 fruitflies in 48 hours using this method. Be sure your holes are big enough for the flies to go in. I used red wine vinegar and set out two ceramic bowls. You should take out the source of the flies though – in my case, after a couple of days, new ones hatched in my garbage and I had to start all over again with new traps (the traps lose effectiveness after a few days).

    4. I am taking a poll: what do you say when you answer you office phone? Do you say the same thing every time (whether or not you know in advance who is on the other end of the call)? Do you announce your full name? How do you answer your cell phone? This is one area where I feel like I could use more polish and so I am curious about what everyone else is doing.

      1. Whoops! I did’t mean to post this poll as a reply to the fruit fly thread. Please see below!

      2. My cell phone is personal, so either I know who’s calling and answer accordingly, or I just do the “Hello?” if I don’t recognize the number.

        There aren’t a lot of people outside my organization who have my direct extension to my office phone, and I have caller ID, but even I don’t know all the intra-organizational numbers.

        So, my canned answer-the-phone response is, “This is Firstname.” So, it’s either intra-organization calls to my phone (who actually want to talk to ME!), or it is transfers back from our front desk (she always prefaces the transfer before sending it), or it is someone who has my direct line, and I can think of about 3 (yep, three) offices that I would be getting calls from to my direct line, so I know everyone there.

    5. We had them this summer. It was so annoying! I made sure to wash all the fruit really well, dry it and then keep in the fridge (which sad for my kids meant no bananas for a while, they ripen too fast in the fridge, but leaving them out attracted the flies.) Then I made sure the entire counter was really clean with nothing that would attract the flies. Then I set out the little trap with dish soap and apple cider vinegar. Once I was fairly sure the flies were gone, we continued keeping the fruit in the fridge for another couple weeks. Now we are back to our lovely fruit basket on the counter with bananas!

      1. I find that while the banana peel turns brown quickly in the fridge, the banana itself is still good to go.

    6. Thank you, everyone! I have some apple cider vinegar so will try that at home tonight. Fingers crossed, it takes care of them all!

      1. Set out a cup of beer or black coffee. They love that stuff and they will drown themselves in it!

        1. Set out a cup of beer or black coffee. They love that stuff and they will drown themselves in it!

  2. Thanksgiving outfit help needed for this post-partum mom! On Thanksgiving, I will be about 6weeks post partum. I gained FIFTY POUNDS with this baby (my first) and have about 15 left to lose as of this AM. The weight I have left is mostly in my bre@sts and my hips/thighs with a little extra squishiness in my tummy. I’ve always been a pear so the extra baby weight in my hips isn’t surprising.

    THAT SAID- I’m hosting my family for Thanksgiving and have nothing to wear. If I fit into my pre-preg clothes, I’d wear a wrap dress or sweater dress, but the ones I have are too snug in the hips or my bre@sts are falling out! I’m thinking of doing some kind of leggings/ tunic or dress combo with a pretty necklace but don’t have anything like that in my wardrobe. Any suggestions?

    I’m 5’10, was a pre-baby size 10 on the bottom, would likely be a L or maybe an XL in a dress depending on how snug. A solid L these days for a tunic. I’ve also got a long torso and require that all shirts worn with leggings cover my butt :)

    1. Try Soma? They have some nice stretchy dresses and also pretty tunics in their loungewear section. I have the one that is sort of gray sweatshirt material with a flocked pattern in black and it’s very flattering and pretty, sort of dressed-up casual. They also have tunics that are basically like a short dress that you wear with leggings.

    2. Are you nursing? Does the tunic top or dress need to be nursing friendly?

      What stores are readily available for shopping?

      What is your budget?

      1. I’m in the Boston area, so most stores. I’d say budget under $100 though I could certainly spend more f I could re-wear as a work piece once I go back (very biz casual office, this sort of thing would be perfectly fine).

      2. Oh, and I am nursing but this doesn’t have to be nursing fiends (though that’s a bonus). Baby is getting bottled bre@stmilk all day so grandma can feed her and mama can cook ;)

        1. I love this but not sure on fit- and I hate having to deal with online returns. Biggest concern is f it’s long enough to cover my butt.
          Looks fine on the presumably also tall model but she doesn’t have as much junk in her trunk! As a reference point, none of the Old Navy tunics are long enough for me.

          1. Gotcha. Boden tends to be longer than Old Navy and has free returns though (I am a total enabler!). :)

        2. Okay. I’m in love with everything. How tall do you have to be before you need the tall sizes?

          1. No problem! I would size up with these. I normally wear an 8 on top and take a 10 in these (DD cup).

      6. At least 10lbs was pure water weight. Another 10.5 was my ENORMOUS BABY. I left the hospital down 20-25! Plus, baby is having issues with milk so I’m on a dairy-light diet so no ice cream or cheese.

    4. I was actually coming here to suggest this tunic sweater from Nordstrom – it’s amazing and I love it. I am 5’11” and sized up to XL in order to make sure it was long enough to wear with leggings. It’s so warm and snuggly – I’m going back for more colors ASAP.

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-raglan-seam-dolman-sleeve-sweater/3516320?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Red+Cayenne&resultback=170&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-searchresults-_-1_1_C

      1. I don’t see other colors…am I missing them? This is the worst color for me but otherwise looks great.

        1. There are a ton of colors – not sure why they’re not showing up for that link. Maybe try searching the Nordstrom website for “Halogen Dolman Sleeve Sweater.” I have it in black, and I’m going back for the gray and the purple, I think.

    5. Oh my gosh, you’re really brave/amazing to be hosting thanksgiving 6 weeks post-partum and I totally would not worry about what you were wearing. Be comfy and kind to yourself. Do you have to wear a dress for your family’s thanksgiving? Or since you’re hosting, could you start a new trend this year? I personally would wear leggings, a comfy nursing friendly shirt (even if it did not cover my rear) and a large, long cozy sweater with boots or flats. These big long sweaters are everywhere this year – target and ON, or places like nordstrom, athleta, etc.

      2. It’s better than having to travel…and DH is a great cook! And it’s just close family so I am really not worried but don’t want to be wearing yoga pants, which is all I’ve worn for the past 6 weeks!! (All my maternity clothes were summery). Mainly I’m using this as an excuse to buy an outfit in my (temporary) new size.

    6. Majamas has a sister company and they both had nursing friendly dresses that I wore to work. I got them on diapers.com and they run S, M, L, etc.

    7. I think you’re in Houston, right?

      You might also check out Talbots – they might be located in the same shopping area as Soma/Chicos. Maybe Highland Village?

      Ann Taylor still has a lot of different blouses without buttons that flow as well as peplum style tops with higher necklines. I don’t know if pear shapes do well with them though.

      Tunics and leggings sounds great to me. With the cooler weather coming to H-Town for Thanksgiving, maybe you could layer a long sleeved tee underneath the tunic?

      What about a sweater with a tank or tee underneath it, it might work too.

      A cute wrap dress with a cami or tank (Love the Judy Ps at Tres Chic; when you’re back to your usual size, they are easy to belt and go) … and then leggings and boots?

    8. I know you said no to Old Navy, but this top is so great I’m posting it anyway. It looks like absolutely nothing online and I almost didn’t order it. BUT I’m so glad that I did. It covers what needs to be covered and is just randomly flattering. It is a sweatshirt but it’s thin. I probably wouldn’t wear it to the office but I have dressed it up with a fun statement necklace + jeggings + boots for a cute weekend look. This reminds me I need to order the gray one!
      http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=72808&vid=1&pid=644356092

    9. See the blog Aint No Mom Jeans – she answered this yesterday. Some great options that had me drooling!

  3. There is a smell in my fridge and I absolutely cannot find the source. I’ve scrubbed every surface in there, checked every single item, put baking soda in a bowl on the top shelf – WHY is there still a bad smell? This is part rant, part plea for any miracle solutions that other readers have come across…

    1. Check the drip pan in the bottom of the fridge, sometimes it gets icky and smells up the fridge.

      1. Or you could have an old piece of fish or meat that fell down in the back that has started to rot and stink. My boyfriend’s fridge is horrible because no one cleans it. I’ve found chile in there from the 2009 Superbowl. I do not eat over at his place for that reason, and suggest that no one eat over at anyone’s house who does not clean (with bleach) their fridge at least 1x a year.

      2. 1+ for drip pan. I’ve had that problem before and finally cleaned the drip pan.

    2. Is the bottom of your fridge solid surface or is there a tray by chance? Back in college, a friend’s carton of milk slowly leaked down the side of the fridge and we eventually found a solid layer of milk under the tray in the bottom of the fridge.

    3. Have someone take a look in case there is something you are overlooking? My friend’s fridge smelled for months despite constant cleaning and one day, we looked at it from a different angle and found a white box with a whole fish in it (left by a roommate).

    4. I had this issue. There was brie in my fridge that I smelled, smelled again, had someone else smell, and it was not the smell. Until I threw it away, and then the smell disappeared.

      So…if you’re desperate and have done a full purge and clean (inc. the drip tray below), I’d start with anything that MIGHT be the cause and throw it in a cooler or something and see if the smell goes away.

      1. I had the same thing happen! A friend and I were throwing a party at my house, planning on making a brie in puff pastry. The store didn’t have brie but had something similar enough. We put away all of the food and my whole refrigerator started to smell like stinky feet! We took everything out and cleaned it all. Finally realized it was the cheese. We had to bake the cheese and we were worried that the whole house would smell like stinky feet (this whole thing was like a comedy routine where my friend and I were doubled over laughing). All that said, the baked cheese was delicious and did not make my house smell bad. But the refrigerator smelled awful!

    5. Have you wiped down everything in the fridge? We had some seafood in the fridge once and even though we wiped down the melted ice, the smell permeated the paper labels on the other items in the fridge.
      Also, check under the fridge.

    6. Did you clean the rubber door part that seals the fridge? Sometimes food/spills get caught in there.

      I thought I had something really smelly in my fridge…till I realized it was just because I stored my jar of minced garlic right at nose level on the door. So every time I opened the fridge, I got hit with a wave of eau de garlic, which isn’t always appetizing. Moved the garlic and voila, much better.

    8. ermahgerd. My mother. Postpartum me. The Turkey.

      This is the story that will live in infamy forever.

      My mother, in her infinite wisdom, brought a turkey bre@st that she had in her freezer to cook for me and DH after the arrival of our firstborn son. In the summer. In a house without air conditioning. Granted, it was one of the hottest summers we’d had in a long time.

      However, she put the turkey to thaw in the fridge, but didn’t put it on a pan, or a plate, or anything. Just straight on the shelf. She was to stay for a week. In the middle of the week, I smelled something that left every indication that we had some kind of rotting animal in our house. Mouse in the woodwork? Possible. We checked everything we could. The basement, we thought, was the source of the odor, as hte door to the basement was basically right behind the fridge.

      No, it was the turkey juice that had dripped down in the fridge and pooled in the bottom, away from the thermo-regulation that the fridge provides. Yep, that was rotting turkey juice on the floor in my kitchen. It was confined mostly to the drip pan, but it was a PITA to clean.

      After that, every piece of thawing meat gets a pan.

  4. Ladies, I need help.

    How do you deal with a friendship that’s gone toxic when walking away is not an option? I have a friend with whom I am very close to, whose social circles and mine overlap a lot and whom I volunteer with. Over the past while she has become incredibly hostile and negative – everything is always the absolute worst, everyone else is both malicious and incompetent, nothing is ever her fault, etc. I worry that if I try to cut her out of my life she will turn all this hostility against me and do her best to “get back” at me and that is something I do not want to deal with.

    1. So, the reasons she is toxic to your life are the same reasons you can’t cut her out of your life? Sounds like you’ve trapped yourself. Walking away is indeed an option, and if you don’t out of fear for how she will retaliate then I can’t imagine how this could be called a friendship anyway.

      If this sounds too harsh toward her, maybe think of it this way: you don’t do her any favors, either, by playing some kind of friend hostage and pretending her behavior doesn’t have consequences.

      Also, no matter how hard she takes it, she can’t terrorize you forever after you break up with her. If you stay “friends,” on the other hand, it sounds like you live under indefinite threat.

    2. I’m sorry you’re going through this. In my experience, sadly, you are not going to be able to fix it, and I’ve never found a way to remain unaffected. Are others also receiving or at least witnessing this behavior? If they’re not (or it doesn’t bother them as it does you), and you’re worried about the consequences of flat-out walking away, there’s the option of slipping away gradually: find another volunteer opportunity into which she isn’t likely to follow you, and ease out of the present one; be less and less available for the social events at which she’s present without enough others on hand to serve as a buffer.

  5. Hey, all. I am really intrigued by all the talk here about fleece-lined tights, and I’ve decided to give them a try. However, I’ve looked around for them a bit, and either I don’t know what I’m looking for (solid possibility) or I am just not looking in the right places for them. Can you recommend specific brands and/or places to buy them? I’m just looking for classic black, brown, grey type colors, so nothing too fancy or particular I’d have thought. Thanks!

    1. As a related TJ, long fleecelined tights? I tend to by them at TK Maxx but have a pair on today that are much too short. I don’t tend to have this problem with regular tights but fleece lined tights are always tricky even though I’m only 5’7 with shortish legs.

      1. I’m loving my fleece lined tights from The Limited. I bought a pair to reach the free shipping limit, and have since gone back to buy two more.

        As for length – I’m 5’5″ and the M/L is long on me.

        1. +1. I bought 2 pair from the Limited and have been living in them ever since. I am 5’4 and M/L fits me pretty well.

      2. I have the same problem. My solution is to buy a size bigger than I need so that they pull up more..

    2. I have Plush fleece-lined tights and I LOVE them. They are so warm and comfortable. I bought them from Shopbop. They’re relatively pricy ($35, although I bought them during one of the 20% off everything sales). I recently picked up a pair from Urban Outfitters, which were significantly cheaper (I think $15), but I have not worn them yet so I can’t speak to quality. They appear to be sold out online but there were plenty in my local store (NYC).

    3. I always buy all my tights at Winners, which I believe is the Canadian name for Marshalls/TJ Maxx. They tend to always have at least one brand. Of course right now I can’t remember any of the brands I’ve bought! I do agree with CB, though – fleece lined tights don’t seem to stretch as well length wise, and of the 3 or 4 brands I’ve tried over the years, about half have been a little to short for my 5’6″ self.

      1. Maybe it is the M/L sizing as well. Tried an XL and they were long enough but fell down. I’m anticipating a fun waddle home with my tights falling down my hips.

    4. I highly recommend the fleece lined tights and leggings at Target. They are technically in the Juniors department, but I think that has more to do with style than sizing (“ladies” are less likely to wear fleece lined leggings?). They’ve got assorted colors, have held up well to constant wear and washing, and are sooo warm and inexpensive. Link to follow.

    6. I found fleece-lined leggings at Duane Reade… so maybe check your local Walgreens? That said, I am now wishing I had full tights and not just leggings!

    7. I bought a 2-pack from Duane Reade and they are every bit as warm and comfy as the pricier ones from clothing retailers!

    8. Can someone explain this to me? What part of it is lined with fleece, and how does fleece stretch?!?

      1. The whole inside, they look like leggings/thick tights on the outside and the inside is made of fleecy material.

      2. Definitely don’t stretch as much as regular tights though, in my opinion. If one brand has a wonky fit on you it’s worth trying another.

      1. PSA for Chicagoans: Legale fleece-lined tights and fleece-lined leggings are at Nordstrom Rack on State for less than 10 bucks. ALSO fleece-lined knee highs, which I have purchased but not yet worn out of the house.

  6. Early TJ – I went out to a dive bar last night for my birthday with friends and my SO. Checks were split between couples, I had two half-priced drinks for a grand total of $10 and SO had food that cost more than my drinks, then balked at paying for my drinks.

    Am I justified in being annoyed? We’ve been together for over two years, but I’m noticing more and more that he’s doing things like this. Maybe it’s time to end it.

    1. No, it’s your birthday! I can understand on a normal night… while it’s nice for your partner to pay for you, I don’t subscribe to the belief that it’s always necessary while dating. However, it was your freaking birthday! I’d be annoyed too. Either pay for it and don’t complain or don’t pay for it, dude!

      1. On a regular date night, we tend to alternate who pays or we split the bill, and I don’t mind doing that because I don’t expect him to pay for me all the time, but on my birthday? Come on.

    2. Is he having financial issues he hasn’t been sharing? It’s not a bad idea to bring this up in a few days and see what his reaction is.

      1. I don’t think so, but maybe it would be worth the conversation. Actually, as I was typing this he sent me a passive-aggresive text about last night, so I guess that answers that.

        1. A passive aggressive text about paying for your drinks for your birthday, or something else about the night?

    3. I would totally have been annoyed. Perhaps it’s time for a talk about finances and the future?

      1. As roses noted below, there are a lot of little things adding up recently, and you’re right that we need to have a talk about the future now.

    4. 1) Are you sure that wasn’t him trying (and failing) to be funny?
      2) Is there a chance he’s having financial problems that you don’t know about?
      3) I sort of doubt you would be thinking of ending it just because he’s been reluctant to pay for things. Sounds like something else is going on that you’re getting uncomfortable with – or a lot of things building up. Maybe think about everything as a whole and decide whether you want to stay in this.

      1. roses, you kind of nailed it with a lot of little things adding up and as I’ve talked and thought about this today, it’s like puzzle pieces fitting together. He and I will be having a serious conversation later.

        Thanks for the advice, ladies!

    6. I’m not into some “the guy must pay” kind of thing. But unless there is a serious financial issue, I don’t think I would continue dating someone who wouldn’t pay for happy hour well drinks on my birthday. And got irritable about it. I don’t even have random acquaintances who would do that.

      1. This. I would pay $10 for a random coworker if it were this or her birthday. Your significant other shouldn’t even be batting an eye (male or female in the relationship). And if it were a money issue, then why is his food bill more? Is he possibly trying to passively step back from the relationship?Those are the sort of jerk moves that sometimes happens when someone is wanting to break up but just isn’t stepping up to do it. I’m not saying it’s necessary to be wined and dined, but a SO should want to make sure you have a good time on this one day out of the year. That’s not at all unreasonable.

  7. For those of you who have lost weight by adjusting your caloric intake, what was your target number? I am in my late 30s, 5-4, and 145 lbs., hoping to lose 10 to 20 lbs, and the internet seems to think I should be taking in 1200 calories per day, which seems really low to me, perhaps even unhealthily low. I’m wondering whether others have been on that sort of diet and found it effective. (For what it’s worth, I hate WW, so that is out; I exercise moderately, but I have a very sedentary desk job with long hours; and my diet and relationship with food are pretty healthy to begin with.)

    1. Don’t trust internet calculators. Everyone’s bodies work differently, and you shouldn’t be so hungry that you are distracted, feel weak or are not at your mental best. Just do trial and error until you find the right mix – stop snacking when you aren’t hungry, swap out dense grains (pasta, etc) for veggies, maybe try getting a standing desk or walking for part of your commute. I’m not saying this is easy by any means, but being mindful about what you are eating and switching to healthier habits is way more sustainable than feeling hungry all the time.

    2. I lost 25 lbs a few years ago using Sparkpeople.com. They recommended I eat 1300-1550 cal per day (iirc), and I was always at the upper end, sometimes a little over. I didn’t want to be on a diet & deprive myself – I wanted more of a lifestyle change and knew I’d never be able to stick with it and keep the weight off if I couldn’t have the occasional doughnut, kwim?

      Anyway, I’d say 1200 cal is too low for most people. What helped most for me was measuring & weighing my food so I knew what a serving was supposed to look like. Eating more protein & fibre (I’m a carb lover – see doughnut comment above) and eating more veggies. I also tried to only eat when I was hungry and not when I was stressed or bored. Gum helped with this.

    3. Definitely don’t trust doctor google on this!!! If you can, go see a nutritionist. I did and she told me that my “base” caloric need is around 1800 cal/day. She measured my metabolism to find that out. So any time I do anything more than lay in bed all day, I need more than 1800 calories just to break even (and obviously more now that I’m pregnant)! If you’re in NYC I can recommend my nutritionist — she took my insurance so I only had to pay the specialist copay.

      1. I might be interested in your nutritionist. What do you use her for, besides figuring out your base calorie needs?

        1. I only went a few times, but I used her to help me get out of my food rut. I was eating toast for breakfast, pb&j for lunch, and chicken for dinner — every single day. She helped me get some variety in my diet and we looked at when I get hungry, what I should eat, and how to make sure it’s easy enough that I don’t have to struggle or spend much time thinking about being healthy. She also helped me redefine “healthy” — previously, I thought healthy = salad, but she said healthy = more than two food groups at one time. We came up with a meal plan and talked about how to make it easy. I had a really unhealthy relationship with food for a long time, so the biggest thing for me was to stop spending time thinking about food.

          I saw (and really liked!) Lauren Antonucci at Nutrition Energy. 646-361-6803.

    4. 1200 is what worked for me, and more if I exercised but
      I used the internet calculation for that too. It’s actually not too hard
      to do 1200 if you eat really clean and healthy.

      1. I totally believe 1200 might not have been hard for you, but it could be very difficult for others. Height is a huge factor, as is current weight and your natural metabolism. You just can’t make blanket statements that would apply to everyone.

        1. Agree. I’m 5’9″ and after a couple of days of eating just 1200 calories, I am completely crazy with hunger. It takes over my brain entirely, and I get lightheaded. Definitely not enough for me.

          1. Yup. 5’5, 125 pounds and 1200 calories would kill me. I would constantly be thinking about food. I need a minimum of 1600.

          3. 5’4″ and 115 and I don’t remember a day I ate anything less than 2,000. That’s if I go up a couple of pounds and want to get back to 115. Usually, 2,500 = normal day.

            (But homemade and vegetablepalooza-y, with a lot of dessert for good measure. Also, I eat meat but don’t like it much, and the more time passes, the more icky I feel after eating it.)

      2. Your caloric needs will vary depending on your activity level. I’ve had success with My Food Diary, an online food diary, which I think estimated a reasonable caloric intake level depending on my current weight and goal weight and how quickly you want to lose that weight. My Food Diary also encourages you to eat back the estimated calories you burned through exercise so that you are even with the total number of calories you should eat in a day (i.e., so you are never under-eating).

        I’ve lost weight eating 1200 calories a day, and probably these days hover around 1300-1500 depending on the day. It’s challenging, but I agree that if you avoid processed foods that it is easier than it sounds. The easiest way to eat 1200 calories a day (for me) is to increase my veggie intake (~2 cups of veggies with lunch and dinner), and reduce my grains and meat consumption.

      3. I need to net about 1200 to lose weight and about 1300-1400 to maintain. That number is based of food and activity diaries. I agree that it can go a long way if you’re eating lots of fruits and veggies and watch your snacking. It’s hard until you get used to it, depending on how much you have been eating.

    5. I’m in the same boat with the sedentary desk job, and an already fairly healthy relationship with food. The only thing I’ve noticed in recently moving from a team of medium to heavy coworkers to skinnier coworkers is that there’s a lot of tiny ways they eat a lot less. EG, on previous team, a few of us would go out for a single donut each every day or two. New team, no one suggests that, and we go out for coffee instead, no donuts. Previous team going out to lunch – steak and cheese place. New team going out to lunch, it’s usually somewhere healthier, like Chop’t or the grilled chicken place. Old team going to to Happy Hour – everyone gets an appetizer and drinks. New team going out to Happy Hour – one appetizer split between 5 people. Old team – candy on hand. New team, no candy.

      I don’t know about the 1200 calories either; that does sound like a scary small number, but I’m not a nutritionist, so I honestly don’t know. I’d focus more on what feels healthy to you, when you actually look at it objectively. You might’ve already tried this, but keep a log of your food intake, and go back after a day or two and see what you could easily cross out. Looking at it on paper makes me realize what I could easily replace or get rid of. (Starbucks Double Shot Espresso can 1x day -eesh, that’s 140 calories per day. A regular coffee with half and half is only 40 calories. Much better!)

    6. Wow, I just did some of these calculators, and I feel a lot better about my eating now. :)

      I always used 2000/day as rule of thumb for when I’m trying to lose weight, and that’s not too difficult a limit to hold myself to. I’m seeing now that my maintain amount is ~2,300, so yay! Thanks for introducing me to these calculators!

    7. I am exactly your height and weight. Saw a nutritionist/endocrinologist a few years ago (right before I turned 30) and they said around 1200 was right for me as well. However, instead of counting calories, they had me focus on protein, carbs and fat, making sure I got the appropriate balance of each. They said if I did that and made reasonable choices, I’d end up around 1200 calories a day, and they were right. This meant if I had a chocolate chip cookie, it wasn’t the end of the world, but then I really needed to focus on increasing my protein intake for the rest of the day since I had just had a bunch of carbs. Now, 2 kids later, I am at 145 and would love to lose another 10-15 pounds . I am considering going to a nutritionist to help get reset on a plan, but will probably wait until after the holidays.

    8. 1200 is the minimum amount you should be eating, but it’s not that insane of an idea to eat that many if you’re sedentary and have a slowish metabolism. Generally you want a calorie deficit of ~500 a day. You can eat more, you’ll just lose weight more slowly. It might help to figure out around how many you eat while not on a diet and maintaining your weight, and then subtract a couple hundred from there.

    9. That sounds way too low– that’s the way to become one of those middle-aged/older ladies who eats 100 calorie yogurts for every meal but is still overweight. I think it’s important to look at what food you’re eating. There’s no consensus about whether it’s just calories in/calories out, or if there is more to it, but I lean to the latter idea. I would work on ditching sugar, fake stuff, and white flour items, and incorporating more veggies, lean protein, sweet potatoes. A nutritionist is a great idea.

    10. I lost about 25 lbs about 4-5 years ago and kept it off. I started with using spark people at 1200 calories. the weight wouldn’t come off and it was really really hard on me (tired, hungry, etc.). I switched to my fitness pal and it suggested a higher intake of 1500, but then would adjust if I worked out more, etc. I lost all the weight with this method. You have to find what works. For some people just the restriction that drastic will work, with others it won’t. It took me a little while to find my sweet spot.

      1. Yea, you need to make sure you are eating enough food to keep your body out of starvation mode. If you are in starvation mode your body will go into storing mode and you won’t lose. This is a good time to talk to your doctor or a nutritionist about what is right for you and your metabolism.

    11. I think 1200 calories assumes no calories burned by exercise. The fitbit starts off at 1200 but adds calories throughout the day based upon your level of exercise.

      I bought and returned this dress. The color and fabric were lovely but the neckline required a strapless bra.

    12. 1. Lifestyle, not diet. To make a permanent change, you have to work *with* yourself, not against yourself (e.g. I always retain daily chocolate in my diet).
      2. Good changes will take time, so patience.
      3. I am of the well-lived opinion that 1,200 is just not, not, not enough to lose weight the proper way. You surely could swing it for some weeks, maybe months, but if you wanted to make long-lasting changes, you’re much, much better off eating more than than and taking it slowly. Don’t cut 500 calories but 250 or 300.

      Good luck!

  8. Invited a longtime, good friend over for dinner tonight – really simple, just dinner with me and DH. Friend decides to invite her other friend to come along without asking me first. Asks me if this is ok after she has already invited the other person. I’ve met the other person a couple of times and she is is perfectly fine, but there’s just such a difference between having a low key dinner with a friend you’ve known for 10 years vs. “entertaining” a new person in your house who you didn’t even invite. I should have been more assertive and just said “sorry the other person doesn’t have plans, but I thought it could just be a low key dinner.”

    Arrrggghhhhhhhh

    2. I think that’s totally rude regardless of the reason she did it. But is it possible she doesn’t feel comfortable hanging out with just you and your husband? Maybe she feels like a third wheel? Not saying that justifies what she did, I would be irritated also, but just some food for thought.

      1. She always says how she thinks that I and this other girl should be friends and needles us to invite the other girl and her husband to hang out with us. This couple is perfectly nice, but I honestly don’t come away after seeing them thinking “Wow, I MUST hang out with them again!”. So I think it’s more along the lines of trying to make this friendship happen. Which would be fine if she invited us all over to HER house to do something. But don’t invite someone to my house, dude!!

    5. I would say something to the friend after the dinner. Even for a longtime friend, she is overstepping.

  9. I am taking a poll: what do you say when you answer you office phone? Do you say the same thing every time (whether or not you know in advance who is on the other end of the call)? Do you announce your full name? How do you answer your cell phone? This is one area where I feel like I could use more polish and so I am curious about what everyone else is doing.

    1. I use my full name (first and last) when answering my office phone but just say hello when answering my cell phone (it’s personal and the only work-related contacts who call my cell are my boss and another partner I work for if they need to speak to me after-hours so i figure I don’t need extra formality). If I had clients calling my cell I would probably answer with my full name for added formality.

    2. I’m following this because I also feel like I need to be more polished, but to answer your questions:

      Office phone, internal caller: Good morning/afternoon, this is Amelia
      Office phone, external caller: Good morning/afternoon, this is Amelia, how can I help you?
      Cell phone: Hello/hey/what (I only do this with a good friend as a long running joke)

    3. I usually say “This is Diana” if someone calls me and reception puts them through. No lastname.

      If someone calls my direct line and I know them via caller ID, or if it’s internal, I say “Hi, Fred”.

      If someone calls my cell and I don’t recognize the number, I say “Hello” or “Hi, this is Diana”.

      3. Almost this except it depends on how the client wants me to answer their phone (for those of us who consult).

    4. On my office phone I say “Hello this is FIRSTNAME.” I used to say, “Name of Organization, this is FIRSTNAME,” but decided that made me sound like a receptionist.

      My cellphone is mostly personal, so I usually just say “hello” unless it looks like a work call then I follow the line above.

      1. I also worry that I sound like a receptionist if I use Name of Organization. In fact, I feel like a receptionist if I use only my first name, but maybe that is because I actually was a receptionist once upon a time.

    5. I love this dress, but the color, NOT SO MUCH! FOOEY on the color!

      As for the OP, When I am at work, b/c we do NOT have caller ID, and our phone’s just light up with a singel ring, I alway’s answer: “Hello, this is Ellen Barshevsky, can I help you?”

      On the OTHER HAND, on my Iphone, I have caller ID, so I can tell if I know someone, I just say: “Hi, [INSERT NAME], this is Ellen!”

      When I am at home, I also have caller ID, and most peeople do NOT call me there other then Mom & Dad, so I either do NOT pick up if it’s a salesman, or if it’s mom & dad, I just say: “Hi!”

      Tonite, I am posteponeing my doubel date with Vikram until next week b/c I am to busy this week. I am goeing to have Roberta in the office tomorrow to go over 15 new cases, and I MUST be prepared. She said we can go to Macy’s afterward’s! YAY!!!!

    6. I say my first and last name, and only my first and last name when I pick up the phone at work. I don’t answer calls to my cell from numbers I don’t know, so I generally just say “hey” when I answer because I know who the caller is. On the rare occasion I don’t or it’s not someone I really know who’s calling (e.g., the garage is calling to say my car is ready to be picked up), I say “hello” just like I used to answer a landline at home back in the day.

    7. Like Mr. Burns, I answer mine with “Ahoy-hoy!”

      No, actually, I answer mine with, “This is [Interrobanged].” I don’t use my last name because it’s just a lot of syllables. Also! I answer it the same whether it’s internal or external. Though if it’s internal and I can see who it is, then I will say, “Hi [name]!”

      2. Interrobanged, just wanted to let you know I added your tumblr to my feedly and am loving your outfits!

        1. Thank you, HSAL! I need to be more diligent about updating that thing. It is fun to go back and see what I wore and what worked (and, more importantly, what did not…).

    8. Depends on context. Most of our calls come through a receptionist or secretary so I usually know who’s calling before I pick up. If it’s someone I don’t know personally — another lawyer I haven’t dealt with before, say — I answer with just my full name or maybe “hello, this is Jules Jones.” If it’s a client or someone else I know well, I usually greet the person specifically — “hi, Michael,” or “this is Jules, hi Michael.” If the caller is someone with a certain level of authority — a judge or arbitrator, generally — I’ll be a bit more formal: “good morning, your honor/Ms. Smith, this is Jules.”

      After hours, when calls come straight to my desk, I pick up my phone as “Jules Jones.” On my cell, if I don’t recognize the caller’s number I usually just say hello. However, I don’t give out my cell number except to clients and family/friends (it’s not on my business card or e-mail signature block) so I don’t get that many business-related calls from strangers. If more people had that number, I’d answer “Jules Jones.”

      Cute story: A lawyer I worked with years ago always answered with her full name, and her five-year-old picked up the habit. When someone called their house, this tiny voice would answer with a business-like “Christina Smith.”

    9. 99.9% of my phone calls are internal or dh, and 50% of the time the internal calls have caller ID.

      I almost always say “Christine speaking” when I answer the phone, unless it’s dh, or I’m expecting an internal caller to call (because they pinged me on IM or whatever). Just in case someone is using someone else’s phone.

      Same if I’m answering my work cell – “Christine speaking”.

      Personal cell is just ‘hello’ or ‘hi’ depending on who is calling.

    10. Many years ago my governmental agency had everyone from the Executive Director on down attend a Telephone Doctor program on phone etiquette (we were having major issues dealing with the public). You are supposed to answer the phone using buffer words (Good Morning, Good Afternoon) as the first few seconds of a call might not be heard by the caller, then your company name or department name, then your name. This gives the caller some time to actually being to focus on listening to the call.

      So, “Good Morning, legal services, this is Middle Coast.”

    11. Office: Hello, this is Firstname
      Cell: personal, so depends on who is calling. If it’s a number I don’t recognize, I say hello.

    12. Calls where I can’t tell who’s calling, both on cell and office: Hello, this is B.
      Internal where I can tell who’s calling depends on the caller. If it’s another associate who’s a friend or DH, it’s usually just Hey or Hi or Hi [associate].
      Internal where it’s someone more senior, either Hi [partner] or Hello, this is B.

    13. Hello, FirstName speaking.

      If I know who it is, it’s Hi Caller.

      I don’t use my last name when answering the phone because it is foreign and the way I would pronounce it in my native language is not how English-speakers would instinctively pronounce it, so it’s easy to sound like ‘Hello, garbled mess’.

    14. I say “Hi, this is attorney first last” for a couple reasons.

      1) my name is long and difficult. the more words I can put between answering and rattling off my name, the less likely I am to repeat it.
      2) often times people don’t treat me like an attorney on the phone and I feel that this helps establish authority in dealing with pro se parties (often!)

      1. I consciously changed my tone when answering my work phone b/c I felt like I wasn’t being treated as a lawyer. I actually mimic the male attorneys I know, who are more likely to say “hello” rather than “hi” or “good morning,” or just to announce “first name, last name” without a greeting. It rubs me the wrong way to have to hide my personality (or perhaps even gender cues) and mimic the dudes, but they truly do get treated with more lawyerly respect out of the gate than I felt like I was getting.

    15. I usually answer my office phone with “Hi, this ABC” if it is an outside caller or I don’t recognize the phone number. If it is an internal caller (whose name shows up on our caller ID), then I will usually say “Hi Caller’s Name.”

      I almost exclusively just answer my cell phone with “Hello” or “Hi/Hey Caller’s Name.”

    16. Full name if I don’t know the caller, if I do then I either address them by name or say hey depending on how well I know them. When a judge calls directly out of the blue, I just stutter.

    17. If I don’t recognize the number or person calling, I say “Hi, this is Firstname”. If I know the person, I just pick up and say “Hey Whomever”. I work in finance in a high tech company and the atmosphere is pretty informal even in exec meetings.

  10. Hi ladies! I recently started running outdoors and am quickly realizing that it may be harder to run in the cold weather (30 deg F). I get cold very easily and the last two weeks I have worn gloves, beanie and an extra layer but I don’t think that will be enough starting next week when the temperature drops even more.

    What do you ladies run in in the cold weather? I have an old northface denali jacket that has been keeping me warm thus far but it is not shielding me from the wind and rain. Any recommendations for a better jacket or top layer that will keep me warm while running? I would really hate to go back to the treadmill since I discovered outdoor running is so much more enjoyable!

    1. I have thick fleece neckwarmers that make a huge difference, and they’re great for running because you can throw them in the wash/dry every single time, unlike some outerwear. I found that breathing super-cold air in that kind of volume is much easier with an insulated neck and chest area. I also have long wool socks and tend to begin my run with my hood up (take it off when I get too hot).

    2. I usually just wear a light running jacket or windbreaker, but wear under armour cold gear underneath. I like the mock turtleneck styles a lot, and wear their tights as well.

    3. I highly recommend the NBX Windblocker jacket (by New Balance) and some sort of running tights (look for a thicker, fleece lined pair — I like Brooks). The jacket is extremely warm. My rule of thumb is I wear the jacket with a short sleeve underneath if its 30 degrees + and a long sleeve underneath if its below 30 degrees. If its below 30 degrees, I also throw a pair of shorts over the running tights. If its really cold, I’ll also wear tall socks and pull them over the tights. Always a warm hat and gloves.

      1. One other thing is that I really warm up after about a mile in. I am always sweating and quite warm by the end of a run, and I regularly go out when its in the high teens / low 20s (F). Being cold is a good motivator to run faster to warm yourself up! (half joking, but it is true!)

        As for a hat, I like to wear one that’s a little bigger and really covers all of my ears and most of my forehead. Its all snuggly and warm in the hat.

    4. When there is snow and ice on the ground (later this winter), one trick I learned the hard way is to think of running as moving your feet up and down instead of forward and backward. Makes it less likely you will slip and fall. Notice I said “makes it less likely,” not “prevents all slips and falls.”

    5. I run in the cold (-17 C with windchill on Monday morning and it was COLD).

      For the coldest days I wear compression tights under my fleece lined tights and smartwool knee socks (actually ski socks) on the bottom. On top I wear a tight technical long sleeve shirt, a warmer 1/4 zip shirt, and my lulu running jacket that breaks the wind. I also wear a lulu fleece neck warmer, ear warmer, fleece touque (beanie hat, I guess) and can pull the hood up on my jacket if I need to. I have some lulu gloves that have windbreaker material on the backs that I also wear. If it’s warmer I start making substitutions or eliminations. Long sleeve layered under a short sleeve tee under the jacket, for example, or only one shirt instead of two, or only one pair of tights instead of two, etc. based on experience of what I can handle.

      Once I get moving I stay warm enough. I try to warm up inside the house before leaving for my run, and I cool down inside as well.

      My biggest problem on my last run was my iphone battery froze just at the very end of my run (right after I hit ‘stop’ on Runkeeper) and the water on the spout of my water bottle froze – I was worried it would freeze shut, but it didn’t.

      I have rules for myself when it comes to winter running. Don’t run if the sidewalks will be mostly icy. Don’t go out if the windchill is colder than -25C. Don’t go if it’s snowing AND windy. Don’t go if there was a big snowfall overnight so nobody has shoveled (I run early, early in the am).

      All this makes me sound way more hardcore than I feel, to be honest. This is only my second winter running outside, and I’ve invested in some more cold weather gear – last winter my cold limit was -15C. However, I hate treadmill running (and it’s also WAY less convenient for me) and I don’t want to give up the exercise that has such a positive effect on me, so I deal. And think it’s so weird when I get in the shower how the water hitting my head is warm, but it’s cold by the time it reaches my feet.

    6. I run wearing underarmour cold gear tights, wool socks (pulled up under the tights- often they are ski socks that go all the way to my knees), and lots of layers on the top.

      My current go-to layer combinations are an underarmour mock neck cold gear shirt (had it 9 years and still love it) with a long sleeve t shirt over it and an ancient zip up down vest that I got at The Gap about a million years ago. I like that my core stays warm and the vest really cuts the wind and rain. I also wear a long sleeve tech shirt with a merino wool SmartWool quarter zip over it. If it’s snowing, I have a fleece lined waterproof coat from my college crew team but that’s rare.

      Oh, and I frequently accessorize with my oh-so-stylish reflective vest and a headlamp. On my head, I like a fleece headband and if it’s raining, I add a baseball cap.

      Honestly, as I run in the dark, I tend to go inside when it’s under 25 degrees. That’s the point I find that my eyes and eyelashes start to freeze. This is annoying during the run, but what’s worse is that they’re funky all day when I have to stare at my computer screen at work.

    7. This is a good guide to start from in terms of what to wear in different conditions: http://www.runnersworld.com/what-to-wear

      I find I need less clothing now than when I was a beginner runner – probably partly b/c my runs are longer, but some of it is just adapting. Everyone is different, but for me, I’m pretty happy if my hands are warm. Miserable if they aren’t.

    9. Layers are your friend. In really cold weather, I use Hinds Arctic Drylete tights, b/c they are fleece lined and nice and warm. Wool socks. On top, a heavy weight top similar to Hinds Arctic Drylete or a lighter weight top and a jacket or sporthill vest, depending on how cold it is. Drylete link: http://www.activelyyours.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?page=AY/PROD/topsm/hads

      For jackets, I prefer something not too heavy, Many times I just use a very old Insport Activent jacket, no lining in it at all, or a warmer Roadrunner sports goretex jacket. Last year I bought a softer shell Mountain Hardwear jacket, which I like a lot, but the back is not vented, so it can build up too much heat. also it does not come down over my hips, which makes a surprising difference. Also a Salomon Momentum II softshell jacket made for cross-country skiing.

      Two tips that help me. My ears and my hands/wrist get very cold. I usually wear those tennis wristbands on my wrists (something about how the blood flows so close to the skin) and silk gloveliners with mittens over them. I could open a running store with mittens and gloves, but when it is very cold, the gloveliners and lands end fleece mittens are the best. If you can keep your hands and ears warm, you will be fine.

      Finally, I have started using a “half-Buff” neckwarmer item in coolmax. It is lightweight enough you can pull it off and stuff in your waistband or a pocket or pull it up over your ears if it gets too cool without a headband.

      On my head, I wear a warm ear/handband under a fleece beanie.

      I’m from Mississippi, but I lived in Boston and Indiana ran outside almost every day.

  11. What is your remedy to combat winter hat hair? I live in a cold climate and can never figure out the best way to not look like i got stuck in a wind tunnel after taking off my winter hats. My problem is mostly static, but generally wondering how you all deal with this. Hairspray? Re-doing your hair when you arrive at the office?

    1. I don’t wear hats, so this isn’t a personal rec, but I’ve heard that putting a dryer sheet in your hat can cut down on static.

    2. Are you wearing synthetic fiber hats? Because my winter hat is wool and there’s zero static. But I think if you’re still getting static, dryer sheets are the best option. You can keep a packet with you and just run one over your hair when you get to the office.

    3. good call on the dryer sheets. most of my hats are fleece lined wool, so that’s probably contributing to the problem.

    4. When I lived in a cold climate I only wore berets. I found that any tighter hat would squash my hair and make it frizzy and messy.

  12. Hi Ladies! My dear niece (a professional in her late 30’s, works with wealthy clients on occasion) is dying for a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas, and it is one of those classic pieces of jewelry that I think is worth investing in. My problem is this: I know *nothing* about spotting good jewelry. Some preliminary searching is showing me pieces that start at $100 and go up from there; other than the obvious (not real diamonds), how do I know how much quality to pay for and how much to spend for that quality? The goal here is to buy something that would not be obviously cheap to someone who knows their jewelry, but it does not have to be the most high-end luxury model, either. Help??

    1. I think with all diamonds you look for the four Cs: cut, clarity, color, and carat. Lots of websites offer advice on these, mostly in the context of advising men how to buy engagement rings, but the concept should be similar. I’m not sure how much you’re looking to spend, but I would think a decent one would be pretty pricey.

    2. I think I mentioned this the other day, but if you live near NYC (47th street) or any other city with a robust diamond district, your money will go much, much farther buying there.

    3. TBK has it exactly right. Blue Nile and Costco have some really good examples up on their website. I would guess you are looking at at least $2-$3k to get something she’d be comfortable wearing around clients. There are some interesting variations on the traditional bracelet on both sites that I think might be nice, too.

    4. Are you talking real diamond? You’d need to start at $2000 (for probably less than 2 total carats of not-the-best diamond all the way around). Sky’s the limit from there.

    5. Blue nile? For something like this (much like an engagement ring) you’re really paying for the stones, not the design so much. I’ve also heard that much like a ring, this is a piece where you will be more up close and personal to the stones so you’ll notice imperfections more and it might make sense to pay to upgrade the “Cs” – clarity or carat.
      Do you have a jeweler you like? Our local jeweler deals in estate pieces and will often sell a pre-owned bracelet of this sort for well below what it wold cost new.

  13. Hello there hive….thanks to Anon on Tuesday responding to my question about veneers. You were right, it was fine!! I’m not even sore this morning, and I have a dentist that is pretty obsessive, even about temps, and he did single tooth temps for each one and cemented them on. They actually look really good!

    It was quite the process. First he used composite to create the tooth shape he wanted, and polished them up, and had me look at them. Once we liked the shape, we took molds. Then all of that came off, and he prepped the teeth, shaving off what he needed to for the veneers. The front two did need to be crowns, because I had no enamel to bond to there, so that was a little more work. He did have headphones and music for me, and sunglasses so the bright light wasn’t so obnoxious. He also had me take a xanax since I was going to be there for so long.

    The prep work wasn’t that bad because I never take things like xanax and I actually dozed off once or twice! He really numbed me up to my eyeballs so that I couldn’t feel anything that was going on. Once the temps were on, he spent some time checking my bite and adjusting them to make sure nothing was bumping where it shouldn’t, and then sent me over to the lab/studio. The lab took a ton of pictures, and we talked about which shade I wanted and where. Decided to go one shade lighter than my bottom teeth, since I’m sure I’ll end up wanting to do those in the next 2 years anyway.

    Not a bad experience at all, other than 4 hours in a dentist chair. I’m not sore today at all, and I just can’t be chomping into anything with the temps. Not knowing that, husband brought home CPK pizza as a treat, but cutting it up and eating it with a fork solved that problem. Permanents go on December 16!

    1. Good for you! I’m sure they look great. What was your motivation for doing this procedure? Did you ever have braces?

      1. Yes, I had braces and my teeth are totally straight, but partially because of genetics, partially because my mom didn’t take care of my teeth as a toddler (or make sure I ate what I was supposed to), and partially because I have a bad lemon eating habit (Meyer lemons, the ones you can peel and eat like an orange), I have very little enamel left on my front teeth. This had led to some early wear on the front, and they were all starting to square off. My dentist suggested veneers as a way to protect what is left so that I preserve the base structure, and don’t have any cavity or chipping issues later on.

        They look so good now I want to do the bottom! But at $2k / tooth, that may have to wait. I did hear a rumor that our dental insurance may start covering veneers (the only cover crowns now) in 2015, so that would be great.

  14. My fiance and I are thinking about getting another golden (small golden – about 50 lb) to keep our current golden company. We live in our own house with a nice back yard. We currently take care of our dog’s grooming/dental needs.We are doing this because we feel really bad leaving our dog home alone all day while we are gone and because we just love our current dog so much and would love another.

    I wanted to know about others who have two dogs and what their thoughts were? Does it become too much work? Is a good solution? We both have jobs with long hours, plus we travel a lot for the holidays since my family is out of state. More dogs = more dog hair around the house = more housework. It’s a toss up for us.

    1. We got a second dog for precisely the same reasons you describe, and it’s been a pretty good solution for us. I’m sure you’ve thought about how twice as many dogs doesn’t just mean twice as much hair, but also twice as many food bills, boarding bills, vet bills, dog walker bills, and all the rest. But if not, there’s definitely that to consider.

      Might also be worth thinking about how your current dog likes to play – is she a roughhouser/chaser/barker? Would/could having a second dog around bring out those behaviors in a way that would be a serious annoyance in your household? (Some pairs of dogs will almost egg each other on to bad behaviors – chewing/overturning the trash/whatever because everything’s more fun with a buddy.)

      More generally, think about your current dog’s personality. If she tends toward an extreme (either very reticent or very overbearing), think about whether you’re ready to help seriously manage behavior during the getting-settled-in-together phase (and, likely, long down the road).

      Those things said, we would absolutely adopt the second dog over again. What we’d do differently, though, is make sure we had a pre-adoption meet-and-greet with our existing dog — while we’re very fortunate to have a pair of dogs who are very friendly with each other, they’re not the kind of “play buddies” that we’d hoped they might be. We think that giving our existing dog a chance to meet one or two ‘final contenders’ might have given her a chance to find a wrestle-around-on-the-ground playmate that would have been an even better fit.

    2. I think the biggest thing is when you need someone to watch the dogs when you go out of town. It’s much harder to find someone to watch two dogs rather than just one dog. Another option would be to have one dog go to one friend’s place and another to a different friend. But… some dogs get really attached to each other and don’t do well separated and away from home. In summary, your dog watching costs may go up if you need to board them.

      Also, I don’t know if you have children, etc. but getting two dogs and two adults plus children or other adults in an SUV can be challenging. We are going to my husband’s parent’s house for TG (7 hr drive). My brother in law and his wife are going too but we have to take separate vehicles because there are 4 adults and 3 dogs.

    3. We have two large dogs, love them both, and they’re very closely bonded – it mostly works, but to be honest, we both miss the relative freedom of having just one dog – our younger, second dog is larger, more demanding, and just not as accommodating of schedule changes. We also live in a house with a yard, and both dogs are home all day while we’re at work, though they don’t have access to the yard during the day. We don’t work long hours, though, so most days they’re only home for ~8 hours; the younger dog goes to daycare once every couple of weeks when she starts getting too antsy – she used to go once or twice a week, and was crated during the day otherwise (from 7 mos. to 2.5 yrs – she just graduated from the crate this summer). What does your golden do during the day when you’re working? Do you have a dog walker/use doggy daycare? Would you do this/add this for both? Some places discount for the second dog, which is nice.

      When we travel, we either have to take one or both dogs with us (finding dog-friendly places to stay with two dogs + fitting gear, luggage, dog stuff, two people & two dogs in one car is a challenge) or board one or both dogs, which can get expensive fast.

      Two dogs = more than twice as much work. More dog hair, more shedding, more toys. More dog beds, unless they’ll share. Do you let your golden on the furniture? We’ve just given up on having nice things and we all pile on wherever there’s space. Swapped out the microfiber couch for a leather couch so there wouldn’t be dog hair stuck to it all the time. Does your golden just hang out in the house, or is that breed more a velcro-type dog – if your dog follows you around & pesters you for attention, can you picture that times two?

      One thing I wish we’d known more about but had to learn along the way is that two dogs together, especially two bonded dogs, ESPECIALLY two bonded dogs in the presence of their owner(s) and other dogs, will behave differently together than they would on their own. Our older dog (male) was 5 and our younger dog 7 mos. when we got her. The older dog alone is friendly but sort of indifferent to other dogs – he’d rather play fetch or explore. The younger dog alone is very closely bonded to me and tends to be shy/reactive with dogs she doesn’t know yet. When alone with me, she’ll be calmer meeting other dogs than when I have both dogs together, because she’s trying to resource guard us, and the older dog is trying to keep other dogs away from her. So just be aware that your individual dog personalities and pack bonding can look different at home than when out and about or visiting or meeting other dogs.

      We love both our dogs, and would take the second dog again, but can’t deny that we’re looking forward to just having one dog again someday. The trouble is that while the older dog grew up an only dog, our younger dog is never, ever alone, and I have no idea how she/we’ll manage when our older dog isn’t around any more – thankfully that’s a few years away, still.

    4. Depends on the age of the second dog. We were a 2-dog family for a long time, the dogs we had were mother & son. Mother passed away, and son was very lonely. You could tell that he missed the company. Several months later, we got a puppy. Like fluffy just weaned puppy.

      THAT dog, that dog in particular, was a bad choice for us. DH used to work with dogs (training bomb-sniffing dogs for the govt), and was used to selecting dogs for their ability to work. HE chose the puppy, based on the fact that he was the only puppy in the litter who was the least bit interested in us as strangers. All the other puppies were just rolling about, doing puppy things.

      I will also say that Son dog had epilepsy, and was on some pretty heavy medication to keep his seizures at bay. He still had breakthrough seizures, but we were maxed out on his dosage. He was aging, and we aren’t sure what it was–a combination of his age, all the historical damage from the seizures and the medications, or some kind of new neurological deficit, but he was beginning to become very slow. He had trouble going down the stairs, (he would often get so excited about going outside in the morning that instead of taking his time down the stairs, he would basically just slide/fall the whole flight on his chest. It broke my heart).

      So, we had this aging, decreased mobility dog, and this new, very energetic, enthusiastic puppy. Son was annoyed with puppy quite a lot.

      In the end, we ended up rehoming the puppy to one of DH’s dog contacts, but not entirely for Son dog, but because puppy scared the bejeezus out of youngest human child. I was pregnant with him when we got the puppy. He was never aggressive, but he was right at eye level with kiddo, and just so enthusiastic, we were worried that puppy would ruin child for dogs forever.

      So, puppy went away, and son dog pretty much breathed a sigh of relief. We ended up having to put him down about a year later (when I was pregnant with second child) and waited a while before getting another dog.

      Now we’re a one-dog family. We found an adult from craigslist about a year ago, and she’s been a good addition to the family. We had discussed getting another puppy, but she actually has some annoying habits that we wouldn’t want passed on.

    5. We are on our second “set” of Goldens (first two died old age) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see someone mentioned two dogs is more than twice the work but I don’t feel that is the case. Yes, there is more hair but other than that, you do pretty much everything else the same for each, at the same time for them, so to me it doesn’t feel like more work. They keep each other company and keep each other active. it is definitely worth it!

      1. +1. More hair and expenses, definitely. But feeding and boarding and exercising happen in tandem. And mine entertain each other at times when my velcro dog would otherwise be keeping me from working, reading, or whatever. I also believe they are generally happier with a mate. My first does not always love being picked on by her brother, but she sure fusses when they are separated. I’ve never found dogwalkers or boarders or dogsitters to blink at 2 vs. 1 — they just charge a bit more, though not even close to double.

        1. I had to laugh at your reference to “velcro dog” because that is exactly what we call our Goldens.

  15. TJ . . . I have noticed lately that I am sore for many days after working out. I used to be sore only the day after the work out, but now the soreness is lasting 3 days out. Is this normal? Does this just happen as you get older? I’ve had my iron tested recently, so I know I am not anemic anymore. Any tips for reducing recovery time?

    1. Drink lots of water, constantly. Stretch thoroughly before and after working out. Eat a banana after getting home – the potassium helps with muscle soreness.

    2. Check/increase your potassium intake. It’s essential for muscle recovery. Also try using a foam roller – it kills while you’re doing it, but you feel SO much better after.

    3. Weightlifting or cardio? Did you make any changes to your routine or are you suddenly sore much longer after exact same workouts? I bet that there is something different you’re doing that’s causing your body to take notice and bring on DOMS.

      I don’t know, I think it’s pretty normal to feel sore for a few days after weights. I’ve been running regularly for the last 10 years, but, go to a weightlifting class or do some squats, etc., at home, and I’ll be sore for days, he he. One year, after an all-day outside concert festival and a lot of jumping and jump-dancing, I swear my legs were sore for 6-7 days. So, I would look at it as the body’s adaptation to novel stimuli. :)

  16. I need brand help…I shop at our local goodwill for everyday clothes (living in a college town in an affluent community = Banana Republic and J.Crew at goodwill!), and found a leather handbag. It appears to be ostrich, it’s kind of a tobacco color. The interior branding says “saccardi florence italy”

    Anyone know about this? I can’t find any information on it. I don’t particularly care if it is super high-end–I’d have bought it anyway, it’s well-made, barely used, and unique. But wouldn’t it be something???

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