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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Huh: I actually like this dress. It's kind of a work-appropriate crop-top/popover kind of dress, which are not words I would have thought would go together — but it looks great on the model and it's one of the bestsellers at J.Crew right now. And it has pockets? Sign me up.
It's $148 full price, available in regular, petite, and tall sizes. J.Crew ‘Going Places' Dress
Well, it's linen rather than linen blend, and it's peplum rather than popover, but this sale dress from J.Crew looks interesting as a lower-priced option. Here's a plus-size alternative.
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ellen
Yay, Kat! I love this J Crew dress–I was just at the J Crew on Madison Avenue, near GCT yesterday, and did not see this one. FOOEY! I think I can wear this to court. I will clear it with the manageing partner to be sure, as I now have to clear out my closet’s for the FALL. YAY!!!!
Dad visited yesterday, and commented on how I need to be more organised. He is right, but as an attorney, when you work as hard as we do, there is simpley NOT enough time to do everything and be perfect. DOUBEL FOOEY! He says I need a man in my life and I agree, but ONLEY a good one that can keep me on track, not a schlub. I realy do NOT think there is anyone left in NYC who is either NOT married, or not a schlub. I could be wrong, but I have NOT met anyone yet and I am NOT getting any younger. TRIPEL FOOEY! I will keep looking, as I am forever optomistic there will be SOMEONE left for me. YAY!!!!!
Randomness
1. Not crazy about this dress. I had a two-piece version that buttoned up the back. In 1984 or so.
2. The neoprene items I ordered from the Nordstrom sale were very comfortable. And noticeably warm (a feature, not a bug, given my office temperature). The top of the outfit didn’t fit, but I will definitely consider anything else work-appropriate and neoprene in the future (any recommendations?).
3. My Nordstrom sale shoe order was . . . crazy. I seemed to order things that work for fashion bloggers styling them with rolled-up jeans or black crops (perhaps while wearing bralettes and standing in a perfectly sunlit room). My husband, who is usually tragically wrong with it comes to women’s fashions, remarked that my picks were “very Stevie Nicks.” Which is so true (except for one item I think is more . . . Ann/Nancy Wilson). #notmylifeshoppingfail
Cb
Shoeing is hard – I’ve been looking for shoes for autumn as I’m down to two pairs of black flats + winter boots. I was looking at Chelsea boots when I realised that they are meant for fashion bloggers, not my dress-only business casual wardrobe.
Simplify
Agree. I discovered as much as I love the look on others, I can’t do the booties + skinny jeans. I’m short with muscular legs & narrow ankles. The proportions don’t look right on me.
Cb
I’m growing to accept the fact that I’ll change shoes at the office each day. A dress-friendly, walking-friendly, attractive shoe seems to be a white whale so I’m stuck with BOBs, Converse, and winter boots.
Sydney Bristow
I’m growing to accept the fact that I’ll change shoes at the office each day. A dress-friendly, walking-friendly, attractive shoe seems to be a white whale so I’m stuck with BOBs, Converse, and winter boots.
Anonymous
You’ve described my body type. Some booties work really well on me, and some are horrible. I think the trick is that they have to either end below my ankle or they have to fit pretty snugly around my ankle. Otherwise, my muscular/thicker calves sort of blend into the boots and I look like a Clydesdale. I’ll see if I can find a couple online and post in reply.
Anonymous
This was the only one I have that I could find quickly. Of course it’s the most expensive pair I own, sorry. I have them in black.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/rag-bone-margot-bootie-women/3759225?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BURGUNDY%20SUEDE
Bonnie
I just got these to wear with jeans: http://www.dsw.com/shoe/crown+vintage+larin+western+bootie?prodId=333460
They hit lower on the ankle and the zipper lengthens the leg.
Runner 5
I love Chelsea boots with dresses but it is a very casual look
Cb
Yeah, I do too but wonder if my dresses aren’t quite right? I have a high instep and need something with a zip as well. Any UK based suggestions are very welcome!
Runner 5
There were some in the Clarks outlet I was in a couple of weeks back that were too roomy in the instep for me. Sainsburys are worth a try too, my Chelsea boots are from there and have lasted surprisingly well (fully leather).
Anonymous
I wore black Chelsea boots with black tights to my true business casual office all the time last winter. I think it depends on the boot and how you style it.
Anononononon
I wore black Chelsea boots with black tights to my true business casual office all the time last winter. I think it depends on the boot and how you style it.
Van anon
I agree about the styling- I have seen many women look great with booties and a dress. I have narrow ankles and legs, and I find that the back of a chelsea boot / or bootie rubs against my tights and ruins them, even with additional socks underneath. In general, I find booties uncomfortable on my problem feet– even with my custom orthotoc insert.
I have not been able to find a comfortable bootie after searching for years (and I have tried tons of comfort brands) Even my go to la canadiennes -favorite brand btw-I even find their booties rub when I walk. I heard that pikolinos are super soft, and a shoe boutique near my home has some casual lace up styles I may try…I hope I find success with this brand. Until then, I will be rotating those below the knee la canadiennes this winter.
Randomness
I went a bit overboard with shoes with lace-up thingies (like toe shoes, but on real shoes).
Also some black booties. I have really skinny shins / ankles. I just adore sheep. I think the booties make me look like I have hooves. Does centaur / chimera work as a look?
anon anon
For the scuba dresses, try Maggy London and Donna Morgan. I’ve gotten them on big sales at Last Call – their summer clearance is beginning today!
Solo get away
The recommendations for la rancho puerta have me seriously considering it for a solo get away. What other kind of solo trips have people done? Looking for something restful & rejuvenating.
Runner 5
Some time at a retreat focussed on an activity you enjoy? I’ve done residential writing courses before and loved then
Cb
Or a yoga retreat? I run writing bootcamps which are not relaxing but are quite productive. Trying to convince a yoga teacher to come along and do a midday session.
CountC
I do most of my trips solo. The last one I did was to Culebra, PR. It’s very slow paced, which was exactly what I was looking for. I rented a little casita on AirBnB, rented a Jeep, and laid on beaches for about 4 days. Did a little island exploring too. I only interacted with other humans if I wanted to – it was glorious.
I am heading to Acadia National Park by myself in September to run and hike and explore. I expect that to be rejuvenating also!
I’d also go back to Bermuda solo. I haven’t traveled to many places, but it is as the top of my list.
X
I did Vieques, PR. Stayed in a guest house and walked to the beaches. Read and swam and chatted at the bars during happy hour. Was in bed by 9 every night.
Ms B
Vieques is awesome. Night kayaking in the bioluminescent bay is excellent, hiking is good, there are several charters that will take you to snorkel on the uninhabited end of the island (with rum punch!), there are yoga classes at one of the inland resorts, and there are a number of low key happy hours. I would go there again in a about a minute if I thought The Kid could handle the full day of travel each way.
Stormtrooper
I loved, loved, loved Acadia. That trip for me was perfection.
emeralds
I’ve solo-ed around Western European capitals and really enjoyed it–you get to see exactly the things that you want to see, stay exactly as long at each site as you want to stay, and be beholden to no one about what time you get up in the morning. That might not be what you mean by restful and rejuvenating, but it is for me :)
I also did my Hawaii trip solo, which was really cool. I rented a car and drove around a lot just to look at the views; booked a horseback riding tour; did some hiking; and spent the rest of my time napping on the beach, or reading out on my oceanfront balcony with a Mai Tai. Heaven.
Scarlett
+1 – I’ve always been a huge fan of solo travel, originally a little more out of necessity, but I came to really enjoy going where I wanted to go & doing things on my own schedule. Favorite trips alone have been Paris, design-my-own yoga retreats (I stay in a fancy hotel in a beachy town & find a great in-town studio where I go take classes for a week), Miraval (all inclusive yoga/spa/health resort in Tuscon).
FrankieCat
There a wonderful yoga ashram/retreat in Nassau, Bahamas. I enjoyed every second of it.
anonypotamus
I recently did 8 solo days on the French side of St. Martin/St. Maarten. Stayed in Grand Case, which for me, was the perfect mix of stuff to do/restaurants/being lazy/beach days. I did rent a car and explored other parts of the island, but found it easy to navigate (both literally and figuratively). One of the best vacations I’ve ever had. After years of traveling with my now-ex, it’s been a refreshing change to travel solo. You can do whatever you want whenever you want without worrying about anyone else!
Carrots
I did Key West for two nights by myself as part of a larger Florida trip. It was fun to just walk around and explore little corners. I also did a solo trip to Colonial Williamsburg/Historic Jamestown a few years ago – I had been there before as a kid and it was great to go back as an adult and again just explore and decide where I was going for me and not having to compromise.
Amy H.
I have traveled solo in Italy and to Paris and London, but would not say any of those trips were restful and restorative, as fun as they were. Rancho La Puerta all the way!
(I am a huge advocate and went for a solo week summer one year ago — loved it just as much as my visits there with my mom.)
Another Bride
Adding to the wedding threads. Can I just complain for a minute…
I just realized we ordered more than 2x as many Save the Dates as needed. We counted by individuals, not households! Everyone involved in ordering – my mom, fiancé, me – totally glossed over this. Doh!
I feel stupid and frustrated. Other than a venue deposit, this was our first wedding cost. And we spent twice as much as necessary. There are enough Save the Dates for every infant to get one!
Any warnings over other stupid stuff like this? Obviously feeling a little better realizing we need 1/2 the invites and postage than originally calculated. Do other people make mistakes like this? Are there common silly money-losing mistakes? Trying hard to laugh it off but ughhh.
Cb
I’m still using up wedding envelopes – I decided I needed a spare pack in case of mistakes and ended up with 50 extra.
Anon
I have an infinite amount of wedding-themed ‘Forever’ stamps. The good news is that I can still use them, but I feel slightly ridiculous mailing things out with a wedding stamp when we’ve married for over a year now.
Cat
Ah, that sucks, but in the grand scheme you could have made a WAY more expensive mistake than that! My main advice on budgeting generally is to prioritize the items that linger in guests’ memories — the venue itself, food and drink, and music — and photography. Flowers and paper products and linens and little details can be fun to pick out, but a great dinner AND a great band/DJ makes for an unusually awesome wedding.
Em
+1 this is great advice. We got married 2 years ago and still have about 750 monogrammed cocktail napkins.
H
Agreed. I really really wanted the glossy almost glittery invitations but really, people just throw them away and they cost twice as much. Fortunately, my brain won out and I got the less expensive invitations.
Great idea to use the envelopes! I wouldn’t have thought do do that but I definitely have some left over.
2 Cents
I ordered engraved thank you cards, completely forgetting that I’d be using the photo cards from the photographer. Just “ugh!” it and move on. It’s not a big deal! Besides, maybe they can become handy impromptu coasters and you can use the envelopes for something else.
Blonde Lawyer
This isn’t wedding related but in 2011 we ended up with enough Christmas stamps to last us through last year. I went to a UPS store near my work in the early evening to buy some stamps for my Christmas cards. Notably I think it is the last year we did Christmas cards. First, I over counted the number of stamps I needed. Second, the young man working the store all by himself misheard me and thought I wanted $x dollars worth of stamps rather than x # of stamps. Third, the number he heard was also wrong. I was exhausted because work was slammed. He was very young and looked like it was his first job and he was slammed because of the holiday. It was almost closing time. I was on autopilot when he told me the total. It was like $150 or something. I had already swiped my credit card and I just hit the “accept button.” A few seconds later it sunk in what had just happened. We talked it out and realized the error. I wanted 50 stamps, not $150 worth of stamps (or something like that).
Then he realized that he is not allowed to take returns on stamps (by federal law) and even though it was his mistake, the transaction had processed and he couldn’t figure out how to undo it. He was alone in the store. He tried calling the manager at home and got no answer. He offered for me to come back the next day but it was Friday and the last thing I wanted to do was drive back into town. They were forever stamps. He jokingly said “well, they will never expire, you can just use them for years to come.” I realized that I could live without $150, it wasn’t really wasted because as he said, I’d have the stamps, and I’d save us both the headache.
For the next four years, every single thing I mailed had a 2011 holiday stamp on it.
emeralds
This is awesome and I should do this, because I feel like I’m always running out of stamps.
soaps
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I definitely had a good chuckle.
Anonymous
This will out me, but last Christmas I ordered 1.5 dozen tamales from a secretary here. Tamales are a thing at Christmas in Texas. Somehow that got translated through the chain into EIGHTEEN DOZEN TAMALES. I went back and checked my email, and it definitely said “1.5 dozen.” Anyway, I went ahead and paid for and accepted them because, although I knew it was her mistake, I also knew that the consequences would be way worse for her. We just gave them away by the dozen over the next few weeks. And I have a funny story to tell now.
Anonymous for This 2
That is hysterical. I’m TTC and ordered a bulk box of the Easy at Home ovulation test strips and pregnancy tests. I promptly received them. Two weeks later, I come home and my porch is COVERED in Amazon packages. For some reason they sent me 9 more boxes. I called the company and they could not figure out what happened. The error was on Easy at Home’s end. They aren’t allowed to take returns of such products. They just told me to keep them, give them away, or donate them. Not really something I can just leave out in the work break room! I have enough to see if I’m ovulating every day for the next 450 days!
I’m keeping them for luck right now but I will definitely be giving them away on a TTC forum once I am hopefully pregnant.
AZCPA
Had a similar Anazon snafu. I’d order a 4 pack of Orbit gum in the big car cups (so 80 pieces of gum per cup). Received four 4 packs and was told to keep them!
Runner 5
I once received 3kg of onions instead of 3 onions in an online grocery order. Luckily they last for months and are cheap so it wasn’t an issue… other than storage
2 Cents
You’ll be surprised just how many ovulation strips you can go through, especially if you’re at all type A or stressing about TTC :P Good luck!
Aunt Jamesina
Perhaps you could donate some of the kits to a local Planned Parenthood or women’s shelter?
Anonymous
Get your initial estimates (and deposits) based on how many people you think will actually be at your wedding, not how many people you invited. This applies to the caterer, renting tables/chairs/place settings, number of centerpieces for the florist, etc. It’s usually not a big deal if you need to add a couple items when you’re a month out from the wedding date. Look at your contract, but some vendors will charge you the amount of the initial quote (or something like 80% of the initial quote) even if you drop your numbers later, so it makes sense to err on the side of slightly underestimating.
Also, if you’re having a buffet, give the caterer a final headcount of like 5 people less than you actually have.
Anonymous
This is great advice. A lot of vendors require a guaranteed minimum number of items/people. They’ll lock you in at the price for that minimum number of people so if you end up having fewer people, you’ll pay for the minimum guaranteed. You’re better off estimating a tiny bit low and adding on once the RSVPs start coming back.
Manhattanite
Also, when you give your final headcount to the venue/caterer the week before the wedding, subtract 2 people. There will always be no shows.
Of course, there may also be surprise guests, like the couple that showed up to our rehearsal dinner without an invite… But they made up for the cousins who got stuck in traffic and turned around and went home…
anon
Event planner pro tip: go with 5% less or 5, whichever is greater.
Anonattorney
Disagree with the caterer comment – the most memorable wedding faux pas are when they run out of food. If you are doing a buffet and not a sit-down meal, have extra food. Best to estimate on the high end and have too much, then try to save a few dollars and run out.
Aunt Jamesina
Yes, it’s far worse to have not enough food than to have too much. Guests will always remember the wedding where they didn’t get enough to eat.
NOVA Anon
If you are making hotel block reservations, read the contracts they will make you sign very carefully. Many hotels have an attrition policy where you will have to pay for the rooms, or some percentage of them, if they are not booked by your guests. When I called hotels, the first thing I asked after availability for my desired dates and price was whether there was an attrition policy. If there was and the hotel was unwilling to waive it, I did not book at that hotel. I was glad I didn’t, as a much larger number of our guests ended up making their own reservations outside of our hotel blocks than I expected, and we didn’t come close to filling one of our blocks.
pugsnbourbon
I house-sat for a couple a few years ago. I was looking for a small plate in their cabinets and came across hundreds of monogrammed cocktail napkins from their wedding.
Seconding Cat above – if people are comfortable, well-fed and decently tipsy, they’ll remember your wedding fondly.
Aunt Jamesina
My parents still have matchbooks from their wedding over 30 years ago!
Tetra
If it makes you feel better, I did the exact same thing. Luckily there wasn’t a huge price difference between ordering 50 save the dates and ordering 90. Oh well!
Senior Attorney
I didn’t do that exact thing, but I did something similar: Ordered the RSVP cards addressed to me at my house, then realized that if I rented my house before the wedding they would need to go to Lovely Fiance’s house instead. So after hemming and hawing a bit, we bit the bullet and re-ordered the RSVP cards addressed to Lovely Fiance at his house, thus spending twice as much on them as we needed to. But it worked out because I did indeed rent my house as of August 1 so we were happy we made the change.
Anon
Will your mail not be forwarded for some reason or were you just concerned about them getting lost? I can’t imagine having issues with a renter not giving them to you even if they were mistakenly delivered there.
Aunt Jamesina
I’ve had issues with the USPS not forwarding everything when I moved earlier this year, so I wouldn’t count on that working every time.
Senior Attorney
Yes, this. I have had a ton of stuff slip through the cracks with forwarding in my last couple of moves and just didn’t trust that system. And I didn’t need the tenants to be all up in my personal business to that extent!
NOLA
We ordered custom New Orleans go-cups (the kind that are Mardi Gras throws) for our rehearsal dinner (which was barbecue at our house). I guess we overestimated because we used them for years and I probably threw a bunch away after the divorce.
October
Also related to Save the Dates, we ordered a rubber stamp with our address to use as the return address. Ordered it through a specialty shop and purchased an ink pad they recommended. Well, after stamping 115 envelopes, we found out the ink was slow drying…so we had envelopes spread over all surfaces in our living room (including couch cushions) for close to a week until they dried enough not to smudge. I was more than a bit annoyed when it happened, but it is a funny story now.
Aunt Jamesina
A week?! Why on earth would anyone want ink that took that long to dry? I’d have contacted that shop and asked for a refund and the proper ink.
Amy H.
We ordered and paid for Save the Dates and only then realized that was the weekend of an enormous conference here in town, so hotel rooms were going to be 2X-3X the cost. We moved the date of the wedding instead and re-created!
Amy H.
Re-ordered, rather!
Em
After seeing several recommendations on here for Cooksmarts I broke down and did the trial and am really liking it so far. For a long time I thought it was stupid to pay for recipes when I can just go find them off the internet for free but finding them myself was not working. I need someone to tell me to make X on Monday night and give me a grocery list with what to get. I’ve made two of the meals so far and both of them were excellent and something I never would have made on my own, but I found making them to be very manageable even on a week night (with an infant).
Anon in NYC
I totally agree (and have been posting here about my love for CookSmarts over the past few weeks). I actually enjoy cooking and finding new recipes, but weeknight meals have to be so simple (and quick – for me, sub-30 minutes) that I can do it without thinking. I really love outsourcing this area of my life – especially because I cannot outsource other things (laundry, house cleaners, etc.).
Anonymous
I’d really like to upgrade my shower experience. Does anyone have a recommendation for a really yummy smelling body wash plus lotion combo? I don’t want to break the bank, but I think it would bring a lot of joy to my day.
mascot
It’s not quite a wash/lotion combo, but I liked the l’occitane almond shower oil.
Second the motion
I love this shower oil, too! Heavenly scent! And mixed with a little sugar, it’s a fabulous body scrub.
Anonymous
+1
Anon in NY
L’Occitane Bergamot is my splurge
Pretty Law Belle
I’m obsessed with this. Good suggestion!
Runner 5
The Body Shop early harvest raspberry scent. Mmmmmmmm.
Also any Soap and Glory scent.
trefoil
Thank you!! I haven’t been in the Body Shop lately and didn’t realize the raspberry scent was back.
Anondc
Jasons bodywash (my favorite is moisturizing herbs, lavender is great too) is amazing, I highly recommend!! I feel like Im in a spa during and after. Then I use St. Ives Nourish and Sooth Oatmeal shea butter (I have slight eczema so quality lotion is a must).
Fishie
Maybe counter-intuitive, but I am in love with Ivory’s body wash. So fresh and so clean clean!
pugsnbourbon
I like this one too!
Aside from the basics, I like anything that smells like the ocean.
Anonymous
I really like the “Everybody” line–I’ve used the coconut lemon and citrus lime and love how summery/beachy they make me feel. And they make the same scents in body wash and lotion, so you can match them if you like (With other products, I always felt like I had combating smells between my lotion and body wash that weren’t exactly the same scent). I’ve found it at Whole Foods/Amazon/Soap.com so far.
Kate
The lemon-coconut scent smells good in the spray hand sanitizer, too (much better than the typical hand sanitizer). I found it at Wegmans in the natural/organic section of the area with lotion/soap/makeup/etc.
Anonymous BigLaw Associate
Basically anything by Molton Brown. Both my husband and I like Eucalyptus and Black Peppercorn. I also like Orange/Bergamot and Mulberry/Thyme.
anonanom
Has anyone here used TalkSpace for therapy and have any feedback on it?
I have always dealt with some low level seasonal depression and anxiety that hits me like clockwork in late summer and early winter every year. This year is particularly bad on the anxiety front, and I feel like maybe I need to discuss therapy or possible even meds with someone. My normal GP can’t see me for a couple weeks, I’m not sure a psychiatrist is the right move as it doesn’t seem like it is up to that level. The current anxiety level is making the idea of finding an in person therapist to talk to seem like an insurmountable task.
I guess the other side of what I’m asking is, anyone have some ideas on accessing help when the anxiety is making the idea of interacting with people in the world seem painful? Work interactions are super draining and I find myself irritable during them. I recently basically ghosted the guy I had started seeing because I couldn’t manage to send a text without overthinking and talking myself out of it. I’ve always dealt with this to some degree, but I’m now in my mid 30s and starting to see how it is affecting my life in ways that I think I ignored in the past.
anon anon
Don’t ignore it. Get an appointment with a therapist … it will take time to warm up; we are used to that in our clients!
Be good to yourself now. Whatever that soothes and calms you.
Internet hugs to you – you’ve been there before and you know you can get through it. Be kind to you!
Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement. – Albert Camus
Maybe read “Quiet: The Power of Introverts” when you are feeling a bit better, It might give you some strategies for interacting when you feel anything but interested in doing that.
Anonymous
I used TalkSpace for a couple of months. Worth trying, but I find in person therapy more productive (mid 30s, introvert, lawyer). Talkspace communication is asynchronous unless you set up a specific appointment, and I found that my therapist needed me to steer things more than I wanted to. The lack of direction combined with pleas to get me to log on more frequently felt like the service was just worried about losing me as a client. I also found it annoying to listen to voice messages on my phone at work. I’m doing much better with traditional in person therapy – turns out carving out a couple hours (incl. commute) once a week is easier than fitting in 2x/day chat/voice updates. That said, maybe try it and see if it suits you, as well as exploring other options. Wishing you the best.
Cj
Get outside and take a short walk every day, even if for just 5 minutes. In the sun.
Get a happy light from Costco and sit by it each morning while you eat/drink coffee etc…
Search online for mindfulness breathing short activities. Try listening to one in the morning, and learn the basic technique. Then when things start racing during the day, close your eyes foe 1 – 2 minutes and breathe.
Cut down your caffeine. Morning only.
Exercise?
Don’t forget to breathe….
Call your doctor and ask to be put on the cancellation list, as things always open up sooner. Or call every couple days to see if something opens up.
Wildkitten
In person therapy is better, but Talkspace is convenient, and better than nothing. So if you can’t make time for an in-person appointment, it’s definitely worth trying.
You can also try calling your GP and asking for a low dose anti-anxiety. They might be able to prescribe it without an appointment.
Anonymous
How much was it? I need something like this…
Diana Barry
Argh! My BR red bag totally bled all over my new Boden white jacquard dress! How do I get it out?
KT
Eep! I wouldn’t try anything at home; jacquard can be tricky. I’d take it to a good professional cleaner and see what they recommend.
Anon
I would try the Chlorox “color catcher” sheets (you add them to your wash) if the dress is washable. Good luck!
Aunt Jamesina
What is the fabric composition of the dress? Is it labeled dry clean only? If you can machine or hand wash it, I’ve had a lot of luck with using (in this order, and don’t put it in the dryer until the stain is 100% out or you’ll permanently set it) first oxi clean, then dish soap, and then hydrogen peroxide plus leaving it out in the sun. Try the first solution, then wash, then move on to the next one until you find something that works. Dyes are tricky to get out, and it’s really dependent on the type of dye used in the bag.
teeth, white
Has anybody done one of those teeth kiosk/mall store teeth whitening treatments? I’m thinking of the kind of thing where you sit in a chair for an hour or so.
I really hate crest whitestrips because I feel like the gel gets all over my mouth, and also don’t have the patience to keep it up for however long I need to do it. Any other ideas or products people have used and liked?
Anonymous
You only get one set of teeth. Take them to the dentist, not to the mall.
KT
Just as a caution, a lot of those treatments can be tough on your teeth, harming the enamel and making them more susceptible to decay.
Anecdata, my friend has blindingly white teeth, but at her last check up, found out she had 4 teeth so rotted she needed 4 root canals.
For whitening, see a dentist. Zoom! Whitening is supposed to be very effective, and with a dentist’s oversight, you can make sure your teeth are in good enough shape.
(I am a dentist scaredy-cat, since I have a mouth full of crowns :( )
MJ
Yes, I did ZOOM at a reputable dentist office. They told me that some people need Advil for pain, and only a very small percentage need prescription Rx drugs. Well, I have never shown an unusually low pain tolerance in the past, but about six hours after having it done, I was curled in a ball in my bed, and the sensation of just my breath going in and out of my nose/mouth was causing excruciating pain. It literally was the worst pain of my life, and that includes when my appendix took nearly a day to burst….My teeth looked awesome. Buyer beware.
It did not hurt at the time they did it. In fact, they just put on the original Austin Powers movie and I was trying hard not to laugh!
KT
Ouch! I’m so sorry that happened to you.
FrankieCat
My BF is a dentist and she told me that if you have pre-existing tooth sensitivity it’s better to break up whitening sessions into a few 20 minute sittings.
MJ- I am so sorry this happened to you! I think I will be the same. Thanks for the advil tip.
S in Chicago
Same thing happened to me with Zoom And I had never had tooth sensitivity or even a cavity. (Went to have it done before my wedding.) Was totally normal the afternoon after having it done in a dentist’s office at lunch. By dinner time I had such zings of pain that I was on my knees. My husband gave me some painkillers he had after knee surgery. If I hadn’t had that, I would have needed to to the ER for sure. Like you said, just the thought of opening my mouth and having air touch was too much to handle. I didn’t even think my teeth looked that much whiter afterward. I’ve had a brain hemorrhage and two foot surgeries and none of that can compare in pain.
HouLaw
I recently caved and got my chin lips and cheeks waxed for the first time. And now I’m breaking out badly.
1. Any tips for minimizing the breakout?
2. Any tips for preventing this from happening the next time I want to do a face wax?
I’ve had my eyebrows done hundreds of times without this problem, so I didn’t know to plan for it!
Spirograph
Not really an answer to your question, but I always get at least a handful of whiteheads after having anything on my face waxed. I don’t know if it’s the wax, the cooling gel, or just the irritation in general, but nothing seems to help. I still have my eyebrows done once a month (and then maintain the shape with tweezers), but I’ve switched to the little Tinkle Razors for the rest of my face. It’s not worth the breakouts.
Katie
The first time I got my face threaded, I broke out horribly. Each successive time has been less and less, though. I’ve read that you should not sweat or put on makeup for as long as possible after having a wax/thread. I will use a toner, maybe some Clean and Clear, and/or even a thin smear of something like Neosporin when I go to bed that night. By morning, I feel like my pores have closed enough to not have so much of a problem.
Cj
This is me. I cannot wax. Skin way too sensitive and breakouts
Tinkle razors. Cheap, easy, fast, no pain, and skin feels great after.
HouLaw
Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll look into those!
Godzilla
I use an electronic hair trimmer for my upper lip. So much easier, just uses a triple A battery. If I get anything threaded, I make sure to use rubbing alcohol immediately after to clean the area and let it air dry. I think pulling out the hair makes room for the follicle to fill up with dirt/bacteria and make the beautiful acnes all over my face.
Anonymous
Yesterday I asked tesyaa if having an “older” dad had any noticeable impact on her childhood (recognizing that 37 does not mean old, and more and more people are having kids in their late 30s and beyond). I really appreciate the feedback I got and the time people took to weigh in. It’s such a tough issue to talk about because people have all kinds of reasons for having kids at whatever age they have them, whether that’s at 22 or 42.
I’m from a southern city where people often marry their college sweetheart and have their first kid within 18 months. My husband is older than I am (by a decade) and we have some flexibility in deciding when to start trying. I would prefer to wait until I’m 32 or 33, but I am concerned about how that might impact my husband’s relationship with our kids and I worry that my (arguably selfish) reasons for wanting to wait don’t justify potentially depriving him of time with our kid(s). It sounds ridiculous typing it out, but I can’t be the only one struggling with this?
Cb
My husband is 4 years older than me (31 and 35) and age is definitely a consideration. We’re TTC and he doesn’t want to wait ages or be an ‘old’ dad. But I think this is more to do with attitude than age. My dad was young (26) but was a super engaged, involved parent – staying home with me for the first year. My husband’s dad was in his 40s (second marriage, 15 year age gap between kids) and was quite distant and traditional. I think generation and role models played more of a role than age at time of fatherhood.
Anonymous
You’re not. It’s just different when you’re in the kindergarten and realize that you could be the parent of other parents there. And you have to leave work early b/c your spouse is at the ER with chest pains. And mentally budgeting for paying for college when your spouse may want to be retired and realizing that you need to get that (larger) house paid off to make it all work.
[When I was growing up, many other people had these issues with their last child (like last of 5 or 8; one grandparent was one of 9). I just have them with my first.]
But also: I am grateful for the benefits that come with age, too. I have paid off school. And I can pay for things. And I’m at the point in my career where I can leave at 4 if I need to. B/c $ doesn’t fix all problems, but it makes many things easier.
Ms B
+1. The Kid arrived when I was 42 and The Hubs was 41. We were not the oldest parents at our first day care, but definitely do notice age gaps with some of the other parents at the public school we are at now. It has not been a problem to date and, honestly, the bigger issue for us is that we meet more families with SAHMs and cannot sync schedules for playdates, sports, etc. with them.
I tell young associates that there is no “perfect” time to have kids join your family. There are pros and cons to every age. Being older means that we already had our “forever” house, paid-in-full student loans, and funded retirement plans when The Kid came along. If we were younger, we would have had more energy, grandparents that would be around longer (and not dealing with the onset of their health problems while The Kid is small), and a nice long period after The Kid leaves home to travel, etc.
If we had children before The Hubs and I made partner at our firms, then I would have had a “real” maternity leave with real time actually off, but might not have made partner when I did. Instead, things happened about six years later than originally intended. It meant that I worked through my “maternity leave” to get a deal closed that had been in the works for over two years and to make sure that I had enough hours to get a bonus . . . but we were able to pay for a nanny to come in three mornings a week during that time and my seniority meant that no one could prevent me from working remotely the rest of the time.
None of this stops The Hubs from wresting with The Kid every night or actively parenting. In fact, being more senior means that he also has more flexibility in his job and he really does appreciate the time with The Kid.
But only you know what works for you . . .
Anonymous
I have a bad Daily Mail habit. It seems that Mick Jagger has another baby on the way. Age ain’t nothing but a number, y’all.
Anonymous
no – paternal age has known health effects – from Mayo Clinic:
” the offspring of men over age 40 might face an increased risk of:
Miscarriage. Some research suggests that advanced paternal age is associated with a slightly higher risk of miscarriage.
Autism. Research shows a link between advanced paternal age and an increased frequency of autism.
Birth defects. Although the overall risk is exceedingly low, older men appear to be more likely to father babies who have certain rare birth defects — such as the bone growth disorder achondroplasia.
Schizophrenia. Children born to older men seem to be more likely than children of younger men to develop the brain disorder schizophrenia.”
OP
I’m not so much concerned about whether he can have kids (or whether his contribution will be “healthy”), but more about the time he’ll get to spend with them. I don’t know Mick Jagger personally but I have to assume he didn’t really consider how his advanced age might limit the amount of time he gets to spend with his latest child.
Anonymous
I’m not so sure that it mattered with any of them, even the ones with Bianca and Jerry. He tours a lot.
January
Yes, but – and I’m sorry to be morbid – but death can happen to anyone, at any time. (For a non-personal example, see “When Breath Becomes Air,” by Paul Kalanithi).
Early forties is on the older end of the spectrum for having kids, yes, and it might impact your/your husband’s retirement, but assuming good health and good fortune, your husband should be around well into your children’s adulthood. I mentioned my grandfather, who was about 40 when my mom was born, yesterday – he lived until 79, and my mom herself was 40 that year.
All of that said, if you’d be comfortable having kids now, you might want to go ahead and start trying soon – you just never know how long it will take.
Anonymous
My husband is only 4 years old but he wanted to be done TTC by the time he was 40. That definitely pushed our timeline a bit earlier than if I was married to someone the same age (1st at 31/35, 2nd at 34/38). I was in agreement in large part because there is a history of autism in my family and there is a correlation between dads over 40 and autism rates that is being investigated. I felt more comfortable having our kids while he was younger. There’s increasing evidence that paternal age can have health effects like maternal age.
Anonymous
Your husband is four years old? I don’t think that’s allowed? (sorry…it just made me LOL and I couldn’t resist).
Anonymous
There is something to be said for having a “younger man” as a husband, but this is carrying it too far!
housecounsel
My husband was 42 when our last was born. I was 37. It has never once occurred to me that my husband’s age or mine impacted our relationship with our kids or deprived us of time (we arguably have more time since we are more established in our careers). I don’t even think of us as being “older” parents but understand this is geographical. I just wanted to pipe up that there is something to be said for having babies on generally the same timeline as your friends. At 29, I was the first of my friends to have a baby. Everyone was working downtown and going out for drinks after while I was alone in the suburbs. I was desperately lonely and that made (what I only recognized much later as) PPD a lot worse. That was really rough. Now, however, I am so glad I was an “older” mother. My oldest is about to go off to college – so glad I have a couple more hanging around. I am not ready to be “done” in my mid-forties.
Anonymous
I agree with what you said at the bottom. It helped that, at 38, I had college friends (not my city though) having babies at the same time, so I could talk to at least someone (and it also helped that they were first babies and that we all worked and continue to work).
I do feel that when people work and have babies, you all also go down the baby hole for several years (life is just work + baby). I felt that I lost a lot of my same-city friends. I did gain some friends once my children became school aged (but it is a small subset of the parents of friends of my children where everyone lives close enough and is friendly and plays well with each other).
Anon
My husband had an older dad. He was 50 when my husband was born. My husband’s mom was 38, which 35 years ago was considered old for having a first (and only) baby. My husband’s dad was also an “old” 50, in that he had some health problems, had lived a difficult childhood/early adulthood and it showed. My husband can remember being disappointed his dad couldn’t play ball with him like the other dads and things like that. His dad also died at age 72 (which is kind of young, but probably just a little under the average life span I think) and my husband was still in college. It was very difficult for him. This also made my husband adamant that he wanted to have children younger. So we were 25 when we had our first child.
So long story short, if you are an active “older” parent and take care of yourself, I think it can be just fine.
Anonymous for This 2
My dad was 45, mom 34 when I was born and dad was 52, mom 41 when my brother was born. I had no issue having older parents. I think it kept them young actually. They don’t look or act their age. My brother’s experience is a bit different though. My dad could no longer carry cinder blocks up three flights of stairs for his college dorm room. It’s more of a hassle for them to travel to see him and they need lots of time to rest while they are there. My dad started getting health problems around the time my brother was graduating college.
Making sure they are cared for as they age is part of my life plan but I don’t think my brother considers it in his planning. I think my brother has more of a “they chose this lifestyle” attitude. Since I wasn’t limited by them, I don’t have any resentment. My brother might.
I see other people whose emergency planning involves money from their parents. I could certainly move home if I needed to but I don’t think I could ever rely on my parents for financial support. Rather, I think they may end up relying on me for some support in the future. I am 100% okay with that because they came up from nothing, built a middle class lifestyle, used my dad’s retirement fund to pay for our college educations. Rather than paying back an undergrad student loan, I might be supporting my parents more. I’m fine with that. This could also just be in my head. They’ve never said they don’t have enough money. I just get concerned when they weren’t going to a family wedding because of the cost of the flight and hotel. Maybe that’s smart budgeting in retirement or maybe they are living to thin. I bought their travel instead.
My brother is still in grad school so he’s not in a position to help them and still relies on them some for help, albeit minimal.
Estates & Trusts
This may be a weird comment, but this has been on my mind lately, since I’m in the midst of a really awful estate battle at work.
I think we all ultimately have to do what is best for us, because life is unpredictable, and having kids at a certain age guarantees nothing, and neither does having a certain number of children, FWIW. I’m probably jaded because I see a lot of families at a bad time, but there is so much that is out of our control. You can have kids at 25 and then be hit by a bus three years later and die. You can have kids at 40 and live til you’re 100. Being loving and respectful to family members is so much more important than anything else in terms of relationships. Having two kids isn’t better than having one, and having one isn’t better than having two. Having kids old or young, it doesn’t matter. Having a shorter but more respectful relationship is better than having a stressful and strained long one. Ugh. Just do what is best for you and then do your best to be loving and kind.
Senior Attorney
+1 to all this. You just never know.
My first husband was 45 when my son was born (I was 28) and he was and is a very involved, active dad. (Although I will admit that when I got to be 45, I thought “Holy cow, no way can I imagine having my first child at this age!”)
Anonforthis
My husband and I have a seven year age gap and yes, it pushed up our timeline for TTC (I’m pregnant in my late 20s). I really don’t think it is ridiculous at all to worry about depriving your kids of time with their dad and visa versa. I think it’s also worth thinking about your husband’s overall health – is he in good shape for his age? Will he be able to keep up with toddlers in his 40s? How long on average do people in his family live? Not to mention the increased risks associated with advanced paternal age, cited above. Lastly, you don’t know if you will have an easy time conceiving or not – it would suck to wait to start trying until your early thirties and then not be successful until your mid-to-late thirties as he’s nearing 50.
All of this is not to disparage people who have children later in life. Sometimes there’s not much you can do about it. But if you are open to trying earlier, I think there are a lot of reasons to do so.
Anonymous
This. If you’ve been so lucky to find someone to have kids with early on, I don’t see why you’d waste all the time and not even try until 33.can see delaying some, sure! You want time together, you have career goals. But why not split the difference and go for 28?
you don’t get more energy when you turn 30
Anonymous
It is hard to take care of babies in one’s 40s, but people are generally healthy and capable in that age and 3-5 years difference will not be that dramatic. The real impact will be on the time with grandkids.
My mom was in her 50s when I had kids and had a tremendous impact on their upbringing. She helped a lot and they have a close relationship. Now my sibling has a small kid, but she is pushing 70 and physically unable to do the same things she did with mine – pick up the child, go on long walks etc. It is heartbreaking to see that she cannot fulfill her grandparently duty as she sees it.
Of course, it’s a big assumption even to think that one’s kids will choose to have children themselves, but it’s another consideration for you.
Another aspect of this is being the sandwich generation. You (meaning the 2 of you) may need to help your parents or in-laws at some point and that will take away time and resources from your kids. This is a lot harder than caring for babies, even if one is not doing it hands-on; but if this time in your life overlaps with baby years, its just so much harder.
Anonymous
My husband is older and his mother was older (for then when she had him in her 30s). Now that we have small children, she has 2 new hips. She could hold a baby on her lap and is OK now that my kids are school aged, but as much as she would have loved to have helped more with small children, I worry about her on the stairs more than I do my children (much less her trying to do stairs while holding a child or lifting them to help them wash hands in a bathroom or onto a potty).
A grandparent in their 80s is different than one in their 70s. 60s/50s seems like another planet.
Spirograph
The point about grandkids is a good one. My parents are 10+ years younger than my in-laws. Health aside, 10 years make a big difference in being able to keep up with my young kids. I am lucky to still have two grandparents (my mom is their oldest child, I am the oldest in my family, my grandparents are now in their 80s) and I have great memories with them doing fun, active things when I was younger. It goes without saying that they are thrilled to have lived to know and be known by their great-grandhildren.
There are no guarantees in life, and I love the comment above that a short, loving, respectful relationship is always better than a long, strained one…. but a long, loving, respectful relationship is best of all if you’re lucky enough to have it.
X
My grandmother was 41 when my uncle was born and my grandfather was 44. They were 22 and 25, respectively, when my mother’s oldest sister was born. I think they were definitely older for some things. My mom taught my uncle to ski. My grandparents didn’t take him to the playground as much. He’s only 5 years older than his oldest nephew. His father died when he was in college, but they could afford so much more.
My mother says that her younger siblings had such a different lifestyle. My mom is the second of 6 kids. The ages now range from 55 to 74.
blue
My parents were 35 when I was born. Each of my parents were born when their respective parents were in their late 30s — which was super unusual back then. Only one of my grandparents lived to see me graduate high school, none were alive for my wedding. Clearly, that’s just how it worked out for us, but it was definitely a consideration for me to not wait too long to have kids. I want my kids to have as much of a relationship with their grandparents as possible for as long as they can.
Jules
I was 35 and ex-H was almost 42 when DS was born. I do think we, and he especially, had a bit less energy than younger parents but also were more stable (financially and otherwise), mature and grounded. There were younger parents of kids in our son’s group, but we weren’t particularly outliers in our hippie college town.
But DS works in a more traditional rust-belt town 20 minutes away, and younger parents are more the norm there. He was in a meeting when DS was little and apologized to the guy sitting next to him (city council member) for yawning, saying it was exhausting to have a toddler in the house. The guy responded, “I understand; we’ve got a grandchild living with us, too.” :)
Anonymous
My dad was 41 when I was born, and my mom 29. He came from the generation where his role was to provide for his family and give the kids “well done” pats on the head at night (I’m being a little hyperbolic, and he was very involved in our sports activities, but not nearly to the extent of the dads I work with today). As someone noted above though, I think that’s generational and not due to his older age.
I’m now in my early 30s and he’s already passed away and it’s definitely tough losing a parent so young when many of my friends still have active grandparents. That said, I think the biggest impact it had on me has been my own outlook on dating older men after seeing my much younger (than him) mother now a widow in her early 60s. While many of her friends are contemplating retirement and exciting international trips, she went through ordering a walker and administering hospice drugs. They weren’t the most financially prudent and it’s a strain not having that second income to pay the mortgage from his social security. She’s just lonely. I’ve dated 10 year older men but I just can’t get past the idea of ending up there someday, even if as someone points out something could happen to any of us at any time. That’s a bit of a tangential ramble, but I suppose my point is that the effect on me of an older father really didn’t show up where you might expect.
Anon
My dad was 37 when married (mom, 27) and 42 when I was born. Has not impacted me much at all growing up – he was a very active dad then and tries to be now too (he’s 68). The only thing I realize is that I could lose my dad when I am still very young and my mom could be a widow in her early 60’s. I also realize too that he could live to be 95 and I could still have him for another 20-30 years.
Erin
My parents were married 12 years before they started having kids (they were late 30s/very early 40s). They were not “old” parents when I was a child, but they are certainly “old” parents now and I and my brothers are having to deal with all sorts of aging parent stuff that nobody else our age knows anything about. It sucks and is highly isolating, not to mention that we haven’t had the time to develop the infrastructure to handle these issues. None of us are married, settled in our careers, etc. As the only daughter and also for geographic reasons, most of the work is going to fall to me and taking care of my parents may completely prohibit my having any relationship at all until they pass. I work VERY long hours and after I spend time talking with them, researching nursing homes/doctors/etc. there is just NO time left for me to even get to the gym regularly, never mind date.
I am 35 and realizing that I will not be a parent. I don’t have the heart to put my child through this, and my parents are basically my “children.”
Scarlett
I think you also need to consider what you want your child rearing experience to look like over your and your husband’s lifetime, beyond energy levels when your kids are babies. I never wanted kids, but finally married in my early 40s & when my husband and I talked about it (and ruled it out for good), a huge part of the reason is that while we weren’t concerned about being “old” parents while our kids were little (we live in SF where having kids in your 40s is the norm), we didn’t want to be actually old parents when our kids were grown up. I’m not a baby person, but could see wanting to have an adult relationship with my kids & the idea of being pretty close to elderly when they were hitting their stride wasn’t appealing at all.
Anonymous4
DH is 5 years older than me. Our toddler was born when I was 32 and he was 37; we’d like two more, but both of us are feeling the age crunch a little. Depending on when I get pregnant again I could very well be facing an advanced maternal age diagnosis. In spite of wishing, many days, for the energy I had when I was 24, I appreciate, greatly, the maturity my husband has brought to the baby/toddler-rearing experience. He is a very involved father, is less distracted by peripherals than I see younger dads being. That maturity is very valuable.
My mother was the child of older parents (her mom was 39), and my parents were 30 when I was born (and 33 with my younger sister). It changes family dynamics in both good and bad ways. Neither of my mother’s parents lived to see me graduate high school and I don’t have memories of them as the fun-loving, playful grandparents. But they were calm and wise and had great stories to tell; I’ve missed benefitting from their wisdom as an adult. As I see my somewhat older parents interacting with their grandkids, I do wish they were ten years younger so they could enjoy the time more and be less hindered by physical ailments. But because they recognize their time with their grandkids may be short, they value it more and are more engaged.
Like others have said, there are positives and negatives on both sides of the spectrum. If I could start over again, I would start younger. But that wasn’t an option for me, or my husband, and I wouldn’t trade my chance to be a mom (older or no) for anything.
Beth Childs
I think it really depends on the health of the “older” parents. My dad was 40 when I was born, mom was 35. Aside from joking about having an “old dad” (which he perpetuated with his older than dirt jokes), it didn’t have much of an impact at first. That said, when he started having serious health problems in his early 50’s, it affected me in a much different way than my (10 years) older sister. Many of my friends’ parents were just hitting their 40s when we were in middle school and their big health problem was a thrown out back from heavy lifting, etc. With my dad, I was visiting him in the hospital after a heart attack.
It’s really going to depend on your family, and particularly husband’s health, but it is something to consider. My sister had her DS in her early 40s and I worry about how their health will impact my nephew. FWIW, my husband and I are committed to having our kids before 40 (preferably late 30s) to try and hedge against those odds.
Scottie
My father was into his 50s when I was born (only child) and he was so attentive and caring that even as a child friends commented on it. He was fit and healthy until my late teens and I had him until my early 30s.
I didn’t even notice as a child. I found it hilarious when people thought he was my grandfather.
A lot of my friends fathers were unfit and didn’t have the time or energy to come home and play with their kids, unlike my dad who always had time for me. He retired when I was in high school and so had the time to help me study, ferry me around and teach me to drive etc. He also was able to give me first hand knowledge about WWII etc. (My grandfather was in WWII yet I’m on my 30s)
Scottie
Edit. Granpa was in WWI.
Denver AD
My husband is 9 years older than I am. We had our first when I was 27 and the second when I was 29, in part because we were working off his age, not mine. We’re discussing a third now–I’m 35 and he’s 44. I asked him about the age thing, and he said he doesn’t feel nearly as old as he thought he would (I mean, he has reading glasses and groans before getting out of bed, but otherwise he’s a SAHD and full of kid-related energy). Having a third kid at his age impacts our finances and empty-nest logistics, but I have no fear that it would impact his relationship with the kids. If he’s a present father, he’ll be present at any age.
Unless there is a known health problem or a strong genetic reason to be concerned about one, I say make the decision you are comfortable with based on the information you have now. You can only account for so many “what-if” scenarios.
advice needed!
I’ve seen so much great career guidance given out here over the years and I figure now it’s my turn to ask. I’ve been a health care practitioner for 5 years (rehab, so OT/PT – not nursing). I’m burning out on clinical practice and I don’t want to pursue being a clinic supervisor for various reasons. What do I do next??
I have strong clinical skills (patient/client service) and I like working with people. I’m good at math, editing, and writing, and I’m proficient at our electronic medical record (Epic). Any ideas or feedback? Thanks Hive!
Cb
I know someone who is pursuing a PhD after working as a rehab physical therapist. I don’t know the ins and outs of her research but she interviews people who have gone through a specific rehabilitation programme in an attempt to evaluate techniques? Maybe a research role would draw on those editing and writing skills?
housecounsel
Public health? I have a physician friend who is transitioning to a public health position after deciding that she could make an impact on more patients’ health by tackling public health problems like obesity on a bigger scale.
TravelBug
Where are you located? Epic itself might be hiring – I think they’re in Madison, Wisconsin – you could easily be an account manager or an implementation consultant, or potentially a manager of these. There are also consulting firms all over that help with Epic implementation.
advice needed!
I’m in Cincinnati and not able to relocate BUT this sounds like a great route to go. Thanks!
NYNY
You have so many options!
1 – In many hospitals, the top administration positions are reserved for practitioners. You don’t want to be a clinic supervisor, but are you interested in hospital operations?
2 – Would you want to be an Epic implementation specialist? Seriously, it seems that every healthcare system is implementing or considering Epic, so you could work for Epic if you wanted to travel, or work in the IT shop of a hospital going through implementation. If you worked in a hospital, after go-live, you would support medical record design.
3 – Also travel-related: You would be an awesome healthcare consultant! Writing, math, customer service, and clinical experience – you check all the boxes.
4 – Insurance companies hire clinicians in advisory roles to approve or deny claims and plans of care. You could go work for the other side. ;-)
anon
You could go into compliance or risk management–might require a certificate but not necessarily additional schooling.
Anonymous
My sister has the sake dress in both black and white and they look fabulous on her. Unfortunately peplum doesn’t look right on me, which is too bad because would love to wear that dress.
Side note as well. The posts about rent and mortgages over the past few days have been a surprise to me. I have never lived in a high cost of living area before and mortgage payments are not more than $800 here. I was shocked that people pay $7000 or $9000 a month on rent. That’s a fourth or fifth of my gross for the year. Obviously people do what they have to and they can spend their money however they want. But I was shocked and learned something new about high cost of living areas.
Anonymous
Arg. Sale dress, not sake dress. I don’t even know what autocorrect was doing there.
MsPatsyStone
Dang, I was suddenly super curious about sake dresses and whether or not I needed one
Anonymous
I felt the same way about the rent/mortgage posts. Like I had a vague idea of what HCOL meant, but I always thought it was like in the $3-4k range. When I say that someone was paying $7800/month for a 2 bedroom in NYC I was really surprised. By contrast… my 4 bed, 2.5 bath home in a Texas suburb is $900/month on a 15 year mortgage. And trust me, I get that it’s not NYC. It’s a really cookie cutter white-washed suburb with no real culture and amenities and a 40 mile commute (by car). But it feels worth it (to me!) to know that I can “get ahead” financially living in a LCOL area, even if it can be kind of boring sometimes.
Anonymous
I mean, there ARE places in NYC (like the 5 boroughs as a whole) where you can get a 2 bedroom for $3-4k. I’m in Brooklyn and pay less slightly less than $3,700 for a 2 bedroom + den, 1 bath, and I have really really good subway access (you always pay a little more for that). I’m zoned for an okay but not great public school in my neighborhood. I don’t have any fancy amenities, and I have to go to a laundromat to do laundry. It is a lot harder/impossible to find those prices on the UWS or UES (or in a lot of Manhattan) that also has great public schools and good proximity to the subway.
Meh
Even $3,700 sounds like a lot to me and I also live in Brooklyn. I’m from NYC originally and there have always been people here who pay that much in housing. Rich people. Big Law partners, executives and the like. There’s plenty of places in NYC where you can live on much less than that, you just won’t have 2 doormen, a roof deck, or views of central park. The $8k a month places are the NYC equivalent of a mansion – I’m sure you could buy a mansion in Texas. In Texas you’ll know it’s a mansion based on size but in NYC it’s based location. Both will have great amenities.
– $2500 a month mortgage on a 3 bed, 2 bath with a terrace. In non-trendy (thank god) Brooklyn.
Nyc
+1
While there are a lot of rich people in NYC, most of us pay nothing anywhere near those crazy rents.
People who can afford those are the <1%
Anonymous
For me too. It made me panic a bit about what I’m paying.
My mortgage, including escrow for taxes and insurance, is close to 30% of my gross income. I have no other debt and an emergency fund of 6 months of expenses at my current spending habits, and though I’d like more of a cushion I thought I was doing OK. Seeing so many people with mortgages at so much lower % of gross kind of made me panic.
Anonattorney
It was a self-selecting group. If you are paying your bills and saving for retirement, you’re doing okay.
It also makes a big difference how long you’ve had your mortgage and whether your income has increased over time. When I first bought my house, my mortgage was about the same–30% of gross. My husband was in school, so we only had one income. 5 years later, husband is out of school and working, my income has increased steadily each year, and now the mortgage is about 14% of gross.
Anonymous
Thank you. This is really good to hear. I purchased less than a year ago. I haven’t been contributing as much as I want to retirement since then, because I’ve had a few repairs to make (it’s an older home) that have cost a bit more than I anticipated. The last one that’s somewhat urgent should be done this month though and then I’ll be able to max out my 401K again. Raises come around in December theoretically so here’s hoping income increases as well …
Anon
Agree on self-selecting. I feel like many of the money threads attract the super stars who are saving so much! maxing out their contributions! paying off student loans early! driving the cheapest, oldest car! etc. I think all of that is great and good for them, but not everyone is in the same boat. I could have posted and told you my rent is 13 percent of my net, but I also have high daycare costs, student loans, etc. And I am contemplating buying, which would at least double my housing costs. It’s often more complex than people make it out to be.
Anonymous
Also HCOL, also paying 30% gross in mortgage (PITI). It’s hard to avoid paying so much if you want to live in a safe neighborhood. Rent would be about the same but without the tax deductions for interest and property taxes. I don’t know anyone who gets away with paying less unless they are DINKs.
Manhattanite
My rent + childcare (nanny, preschool for 4 yr old) is about 80% of our net. 36% of gross. Can’t wait till 4 yr old starts public kindergarten next year.
Anonymous
Anyone used RocketMiles? Their website promises big Amazon gift cards for booking through them – I put in the dates and location for an upcoming trip I’m planning and it was offering me $250 total in giftcards for a four night stay in a $150/night hotel (plus a $50 amazon gift card bonus for booking before the end of 2016). This seems too good to be true but I don’t see an obvious catch.
lucy stone
I’ve used it a few times and never had an issue. A friend who works in the tech industry referred me to it and she uses it religiously. As long as you aren’t worried about cancellation issues based on your booking, I’d go for it.
Activity suggestions?
My 10 year anniversary is coming up and I’d like to *do* something with my husband and I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions? It doesn’t have to be romantic, and it can be cheesy but it can’t be death-defying (like sky diving). I’ve thought about a class (dancing, fencing, cooking), a “get slightly hammered on wine and ‘paint'” night”, and one of those escape room events. (As you can see, I wasn’t kidding about the cheese.). Suggestions? Thank you!!
Anonymous
A hot air balloon ride would be a great way to celebrate an anniversary. I have done the Escape Room and it’s fun but I wouldn’t recommend it for an anniversary. It’s very much a group activity (much more so than a paint night or cooking class, where you would be in a large group but could still spend a lot of time talking to your husband) and you might find yourselves assigned to different puzzles and not even interacting at all.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t do a hot air balloon ride after the tragic 16 death accident in Texas.
Senior Attorney
My former husband and I had a tradition for a while where we’d do a local-ish getaway — stay overnight in a nice hotel and have a nice dinner, then go to a museum the next day. Like, hotel on the beach in Santa Monica and the Getty Museum the next day. Or Langham Hotel in Pasadena and Huntington Gardens and Library the next day. If you live someplace near those kinds of options I highly recommend it.
Anonymous
If you like outdoorsy stuff at all, maybe canoeing/kayaking/rafting? Or if you live in a city with tourist-trap stuff, try some of that. Segway tours, for instance, are delightfully cheesy! My husband and I have decided to make a date night out of a how to DIY class at the hardware store. Not because we have any looming home improvement projects, just because.
Senior Attorney
Segway tours for the win!!
PatsyStone
Try checking out what your city has to offer on a site like viator, geared towards tourists. I was surprised to find interesting sounding pub crawls and history tours and such in my city that I wouldn’t have known about otherwise. Then try the hotel tonight app and get a last minute deal on an awesome hotel you wouldn’t stay at otherwise.
Bonnie
We spent the weekend at a B&B a few hours away in a winery area. We did noting except, eat, drink and hang out in a hot tub.
Sunflower
My husband and I went indoor skydiving for my birthday last year and it was a blast. Check out iflyworld dot com.
what do cool people wear?
I’m in my thirties and live in the South. I’m have work clothes, casual clothes, and clothes for those inexplicably fancy southern occasions (yes, of course I’ll wear a flowered hat to your big, dumb baby shower), but I don’t actually have any “going out” clothes. Next month I’ll be going to a friend’s wedding held in a bar in Brooklyn. I have literally no idea what to wear, but I’m sure the answer isn’t a pencil skirt and a cardigan. What does one wear out at this age?
KT
Rent the Runway, check out cocktail dresses. Ditch the pencil skirt, cardigan, sundresses and flowered stuff and just get a festive cocktail dress–I usually opt for something simple in a deep color like navy or burgundy, so I can dress it up or down and rewear it without it being super obvious.
Shoeing is hard
What sort of shoes do you wear with that?
I’m southern and it was drilled into me that one does not wear leather shoes with fancy clothes. I’m thinking that maybe that went out with the hoop skirt?
Anonymous
With a cocktail dress?
http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/sam-edelman-helaine-ghillie-pointy-toe-pump-women/4381915?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK%20SUEDE
Shoeing is hard
To quote from above, too Stevie Nicks? No? I am like the OP here: this is like another planet.
I really love Barbie’s shoes — d’orsay pumps with a strap (but fancy). Any recommendations for something like that? Or just fancy D’orsays that aren’t a fortune (Kate Spade, I’m looking at you).
KT
Any pump would be fine–I’d probably lean towards a d’orsay myself (leather is fine!)–if I needed to bling up a simple dress, probably in a silver or gold.
KT
I’m not a huge Jessica Simpson shoe fan, but these are great: http://amzn.to/2aLHMlw
Anonymous
Too bridal?
http://www.zappos.com/blue-by-betsey-johnson-stela-silver-glitter
KT
That’s a lot of glitter. Not my taste, if you like it, rock it!
emeralds
You can wear leather shoes! Just don’t wear your boring black leather 3.5″ pumps. Anonymous’s suggestions are great and very on-trend.
A sleek cocktail dress sounds perfect. Pulled a few from my RTR faves.
https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/theia/deep_midnight_sheath (might be a little formal, depending on the bar)
https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/nicholas/techno_dress
https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/cut_25/hard_rock_sheath
Anonymous
I’d wear a cocktail dress. Prob not so much on the glitzy side, and feel free to wear black.
H
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels like this! I also live in the south and have a similar wardrobe but the city I live in is so hipster. My husband and I went out to dinner last week in a “cooler” part of town (not the suburbs where we live) and I felt very out of place in my preppy sleeveless shirt and skirt when other girls were wearing bohemian flowy stuff and crop tops (which is not my style, but still). I just need to accept that I’m over 30 now, I guess…
emeralds
Being over 30 does not mean that you can’t be hip!
what do cool people wear?
Oh, man. I totally agree. I just forgot for a bit because busy.
KT
Where does it say that over 30 you’re relegated to staid?
You do you.
anon anon
How about investing in one of those zippered moto black leather jackets? I can’t because I’m an hourglass, but it really could be so versatile. With chunky metal jewelry, hip?
pugsnbourbon
Ohh, yeah! I have a heavy ponte moto jacket that’s pretty versatile.
Or add edgy accessories to an LBD you already have.
TO Lawyer
Perhaps it’s not being over 30 but not being hipster? Some of the hipster outfits I see in Toronto are hilarious and ridiculous and I never would have worn anything like that, regardless of age.
Never too many shoes
You are *so* right!
Calico
I would look at The Reformation just to get ideas on the styles and trends that are popular in cities like NYC and LA. It might not fit your body type, but it’s the style that I see everywhere.
Anonymous
Check out Revolve clothing online. May be to0 skin-baring/trendy/expensive for what you want, but I think they carry the epitome of cool girl clothes. Then check out Rent the Runway or Nordstrom for something that borrows from the trend but is more you.
For a wedding, you can’t go wrong in a cocktail dress — even if it’s in a bar in Brooklyn.
EB0220
I can’t help, but this comment made me LOL. I can totally relate. If it’s not a sheath dress or shorts/t-shirt to chase my kids…forget it.
PMI
Has anyone had PMI on their mortgage and gotten it removed “early”? I’m trying to decide whether to throw some bonus money into my mortgage to shorten the amount of time I am paying PMI. This seems like a no brainer, but I don’t want to do it if there’s a high chance that the bank will still refuse to cut my PMI when I request it (because then what’s the point and and I could use the money on something else). For reference, I’m also pretty sure that my place will be appraised for same or higher value right now too.
Daisy
Can you call and confirm what the process is? They will be able to spell it out for you. If you are “paying up” your equity to the threshold such that PMI is no longer required (20% I’m guessing?), it should be a very black and white process with the bank. Maybe a 30 day lag or something like that, but that’s the easiest way to get away from it.
If you want to get rid of PMI because of market value appreciation, that’s different. You’ll need a new appraisal, which the bank will have to engage/order.
It sounds like you’re asking about the first scenario, but in both instances just call and ask. They’re very used to this process and there shouldn’t be any not already spelled out reasons for a refusal to remove it… unless your servicer is super duper shady for some reason, but I’d guess that’s not the case :)
ChiLaw
I don’t have personal experience with it, but there should be a debt to value ratio that triggers the PMI going away. So paying down the debt and/or watching the place appraise for more should get you to a point where the PMI necessarily disappears — I was under the impression that once you hit the ratio the bank had to drop the PMI. Can you talk to your broker?
PMI
There is a debt/value ratio that triggers it, but my understanding was that the “trigger” is actually the original date that I get to 20%, not the $ amount. So even if I get to 20% before that date, it won’t automatically go away unless I request it. What I can’t work out (and will definitely call to get more details on this as the previous commenter said), is how likely they are to release the PMI if I get to 20% early.
Anonymous
My loan servicer’s website says that they will release it early if I haven’t missed a payment in a year. I wouldn’t be surprised if yours has some similar requirement. I’m actually requesting it next month after my loan his 20% a year early — hopefully they are as good as their word!
Maddie Ross
We had luck doing it. We had to pay for the appraisal costs, and had a local contact that was willing to go to bat for us with our mortgage servicer, but it really wasn’t very hard. You do have to be below the 80% threshold IME though.
CPA Lady
I have tried to do it and it was an enraging process. Basically I spent something like $250 for a realtor to come out and look at the house, take pictures, find comparable houses in the neighborhood that had sold recently, etc.
They claimed our house had gone down in value by like $10k or something stupid (I live in a LCOL area and the house is super cheap, so 10k is significant), despite the fact that all the “flaws” on the house were there when we bought it, and the property values in my neighborhood had gone up since we bought four years ago, when the recession was still sorta a thing, and everyone was being cautious about buying real estate. So I spent $250, was denied, and for stupid reasons. I was really mad. So I’m just going to wait it out for another year til the PMI automatically goes away.
On the other hand, the experience did give me a kick in the pants to do some projects around the house I’d been putting off. So, there’s the silver lining.
Maddie Ross
Wait, why would you use a realtor for this? I know they can provide good ideas about comps and markets and listing price, but if they are not an appraiser with a state license – who is required to be independent about the price given – there is no way a servicer would take that into account.
CPA Lady
He was who my mortgage company sent. I think he probably had the appraisal license, but he was also a realtor.
Maddie Ross
Ah, gotcha. I read it as though you had just hired a realtor. Sorry about that – that sucks!
NOLA the week between Christmas and NYE?
I’m considering a trip to New Orleans the week between Christmas and New Years. It looks like flights and hotels are inexplicably cheap that week (I feel like normally prices are higher than normal that week, especially in relatively warm destinations). Is that a good time to visit? Sounds like the weather will be pleasant (average highs in the low-mid 60s). A major goal of the trip is eating – will restaurants be open and serving their regular menus (We would probably arrive on the 26th and leave on the 30th or 31st so we wouldn’t be there on the actual holidays)? Any other things I’m forgetting that might be shut or not fully operational?
anon
If it’s super cheap, you should book ASAP. That week gets astronomically expensive in NOLA really fast because of the Sugar Bowl.
Maddie Ross
We went to the Sugar Bowl in NOLA several years ago, so spent NYE there, too. It was amazingly warm (60s-ish) so we spent a lot of time outside walking around and the restaurants/bars all seemed to be open and on a normal schedule. We had a total fail at making NYE reservations, which meant we ended up at some fast food kind of place for actual dinner that night (n.b. – I would make dinner reservations as soon as you know the dates you’re there as a result), but otherwise it wasn’t bad.
Anon
Great time to visit in terms of weather (unless it rains), but there are two bowl games, one on Dec. 17th and one on Jan. 2nd (Sugar Bowl). Depending on who is playing in the bowl games, it can be extremely crowded downtown/the Quarter, and if it is LSU, traffic will be miserable as the entire city of Baton Rouge moves an hour and a half southeast. You won’t know until early Dec. who the teams will be. Book now.
Alternatively, a great time to go is the week after NYE/the Sugar Bowl. It is very quiet, the weather is still lovely, and you can get king cake starting on the 6th and catch one of the small early parades that kick off the season.
I would totally go and stay in the Garden District. It is further from the football tourist-concentrated area, and there are lots of great restaurants in the area.
NOLA
Yeah, I’ve had some friends come that week and it was great. I haven’t seen the huge Sugar Bowl crowds lately, especially uptown. The weather can be warm or cold. Just crazy. But since Christmas is on a Sunday, it could be a good time.
anonymous
Does anyone here wax their arms? I’m probably average in terms of hair, but sometimes I wonder if I should wax, since I’m dark and have black hair that’s probably more obvious than most people’s hair.
Maintenance
I have dark hair on my arms, very hairy and I’m very fair skin.
I broke down this year and now… I shave them.
It is quick, cheap, doesn’t hurt. I use hair conditioner as “shaving cream” and after shower, slather baby oil on my still wet arms. Works very well.
CountC
I shave mine. I don’t have dark hair, but I like the way my hairless arms look so in the summer, off it goes!
Never too many shoes
Yup. I love having hairless forearms (even though my mother has told me for years that she thinks it looks weird).
Anon
I have dark hair and I don’t shave or wax it or anything. I am kind of lazy though and I wear long-sleeves most of the time at work (because it is cold in my office all the time.) It doesn’t bother me at all, so I don’t see the need even if I wore short-sleeves more often at work and it doesn’t bother me when I do wear short-sleeves outside of work.
Pale Brown Haired Furball
I have bleached my arm hair in the past. I liked the results. It made it blonde and a lot less noticeable. I got the hair bleach in the same area of the drugstore as Nair and products like that.
Anonymous BigLaw Associate
I shave mine. I’m also dark and have dark hair.
Keds
I really want to wear full-on sunscreen (daily, not an SPF 15 as part of a moisturizer) per yesterday’s post. But, I have adult acne. Any suggestions for sunscreen that I can wear every day that won’t make me break out?
Baconpancakes
Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch
Ms B
Skinceuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50. Wear over a gel or other light moisturizer. The light tint also evens out skin tone and (for me) hides some of my mild rosacea.
If you use a Vitamin C/AHA serum, put that on first and wait at least 20-30 minutes before putting on the sunscreen so that the serum can work.
Anonymous
Cotz is the best face sunscreen I have ever used!
BB
I like the Kiss My Face Face Factor. I don’t have acne, but I do have very sensitive skin and don’t have any reactions from this. I used to use the Neutrogena Ultra Sheer mentioned above, and really loved that too, but supposedly it’s got some bad carcinogenic stuff in it…not totally convinced, but better safe than sorry!
Keds
Hmm, interesting point, thank you!
naijamodel
Elta MD SPF 45. I wear the Clear version that is SPF 46 on my face and love it.
I have bacne and use the Coppertone Clearly Sheer spray in SPF 50. Haven’t had any problems with it either.
Anonymous
I second Elta MD! I love that stuff.
Sasha
Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer SPF 30 works great for my fiancé. He has extremely sensitive skin and has had no problems
Baconpancakes
What do you do when one of your SO’s close friends just seems to have no interest in getting to know you? She lives multiple hours away, but every time we see her, she steers the conversation away from me to the very technical aspects of their field or the sport they play. (Most of my SO’s friends are either from the sport or his work field, but they think I’m great and we converse easily.) They did their PhD’s together, and he was in the bridal party at her wedding, so it’s important that she like me, but I feel like she doesn’t think I’m worth her time!
Anonymous
Why is it important that she like you? She lives several hours away, do you see her often? I’d just make other plans, enjoy people watching whilst nodding my head and saying mmmmm, or dive in and ask questions. Also what’s your SO doing? Can he not also change the subject?
Emmer
Are you sure it’s you vs. her personality? Some people aren’t great at making connections with others.
KT
I think I’m unclear on why it’s important that she likes you. My husband has friends he adores but who I have zero in common with (and one in two are downright irritating) and I have lifelong friends my husband just tolerates–we have a lifetime of inside jokes and give each other the giggles; my husband understands our friendship is old and not something he can break into–but they’re my friends, not his, and that’s okay. We hang out, my husband doesn’t always need to be there, and vice versa.
I think it’s normal and healthy to have your own friends; not everyone needs to be a couple’s agreement.
Be friendly and polite, but don’t force the issue.
Anoin
Give it some time. If after a few year there’s no interest in getting to you know on a more personal basis, then that’s fine. She may have a different definition of friendship that you and that’s OK too.
Maddie Ross
Fair or not, the fact that it’s a guy/girl friendship between her and your DH can make it awkward, at least in my experience. Even if they never liked each other “like that” or dated or anything, and even with both halves being married to others, it’s just a different dynamic than meeting the guys he went to high school with or something. I agree with those above – be polite, be friendly, and just let it go.
Bee
You don’t have to be BFFs with her just because your SO is. You should be polite, respectful, and act as interested in her life as you can muster. But that’s really all that’s expected.
If SO only gets to catch up with her a couple of times a year, then it’s understandable that they might dominate the conversation with catching up and talking about their shared interests. I would beg off of most of these meet-ups; you’re a third wheel. But if she’s around on a monthly-or-so basis, then your SO should be more proactive about including you in the conversation. That’s not a situation where there’s so much to catch up on that the time just got away from him. It’s a pretty big red flag if your SO is content to routinely let you sit there while he and friend ramble on about a topic he knows you can’t contribute to.
Baconpancakes
Thanks for the replies – was in meetings. She comes to town every other month for 3-4 days at a time, so my constant absence would be remarked upon. This particular visit, we’ve seen her three days in a row, always with a group. My SO has noticed, and apologized for it, but feels helpless to steer conversations. To be fair, he’s not good at the more delicate aspects of social situations, but I’m not sure how to tell him to inject me into the conversation.
For now I’ll take the advice here and just ignore it, but i doubt she’ll ever stop being a big part of our lives.
GRE
I need a reality check/some anecdata. I’m applying to grad school and studying for the GRE. Has anyone with a non-quantitative background taken it and done relatively well on the quant section? I’m 5 years out of college and haven’t taken math since senior year of high school. I got mostly As in math, but that was because I was studying my butt off. I’m applying for public policy programs with a non-quant focus. What’s a realistic number to aim for? 150? Higher?
anonymous
Yes, I have a humanities background and I took the GRE and got a perfect score on the math. Like you, I didn’t take any math after high school. I studied a ton for the GRE and it paid off. So set your goal wherever you want to. It’s achievable.
Wildkitten
The GRE is a lot of basic math – multiplication, fractions, etc. It’s not calculus. I found taking a prep class to be very very helpful, and did tricks like memorizing the decimal version of fractions. It’s definitely a test you can prep for by studying for the test. I took it 10 years ago so the scoring was different.
CPA Lady
The reason why GRE math is so “hard” is because its what you learned in middle school. It’s not hard at all once you get some practice, its just that it had been YEARS since I had math like that so I had to do some studying to brush back up on it.
Anonymous4
I have a music background, with no math after high school and did well on the GREs. The second time around.
Back when I took the test, it gave a baseline question; if you got it wrong, it gave an easier question. My problems started because I couldn’t remember how to plot a line on a graph. I studied up on my trig formulas but didn’t go back to basic algebra – meaning I wasn’t able to demonstrate how much math I was capable of because I couldn’t get past entry level stuff I hadn’t done since junior high. I picked up some study books and made sure to brush up on the most basic principles, focused on memorizing trig formulas – and was very pleased with my second time results. Be sure to not only review subjects, but how the actual test functions; it’s as much about how you take the test as it is the answers you give.
FP
You may want to see if there is a local option for a math-only prep class for the GRE. I took one (it was two weekends, I think) and it improved my score dramatically from some of my diagnostics. Note – if you’re in Nashville, I took the math-only prep class through Belmont’s business school.
GRE
Thanks for the replies! This is really encouraging.
Coach Laura
I used a great workbook that is a refresher/prep all in one. Ultimate Math Refresher for GRE, GMAT, and SAT from amazon.
Anon
I was in the same boat and had to take the GRE twice to get a 156 on the math (64th percentile). That was good enough for the programs I applied to (which were all looking for 50th percentile) and was my best effort. I studied for several months, did a LOT of practice questions (<– much more high-yield than reviewing concepts), and made my peace with the fact that I suck at mental math and timed math tests.
Anonymous
Recommendations for a reasonably priced black straight leg pant suit? I’m in Florida so something lightweight is best.
Anon
I’m in Florida, and my go to for a reasonably priced not too heavy suit is the Limited. Not the best quality but it does the job.
Anonymous
Check out the suit in the afternoon thread!
Anonymous BigLaw Associate
Not sure if this is reasonably priced in your book, but Hugo Boss.
Tip the Movers?
I’m finishing up a clerkship and the firm I will be working for is paying to move me. I’ve never had movers before – do I need to tip them?
FWIW, there will be 2 movers, they will pack and move my stuff, but I live in a furnished rental now so there isn’t any furniture – just clothes and personal stuff.
Instant Pot
Is this the one that everyone raves about? If anyone is on the fence about it, Amazon is having a “deal of the day” on the 6 quart one. It’s $70 instead of $100.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073GIN08/ref=gbps_img_s-3_5402_45758eed?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2558495402&pf_rd_s=slot-3&pf_rd_t=701&pf_rd_i=gb_main&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=8GG1E8Y17HEYYTPYVY4D
anon99
I have & love this Instant Pot. It works great for us. However, it does not have the yogurt making feature.
Wildkitten
Sweethome says the one that is on sale is not good.