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Coffee Break: ‘Like a Charm’ Compass Pendant Set

Double Pendant Necklace: Kate Spade 'Like a Charm' Compass Pendant SetIt can be hard work to layer necklaces — getting the right weight and length to both pendants, not having different chains or frog clasps attack each other, to say nothing of the general style problems of finding two necklaces to work together. This charming little compass pendant set from Kate Spade solves that problem — the necklaces can be worn separately or together. I like that they're complementary but not matchy matchy (or too twee, which can sometimes be a problem with Kate Spade stuff). They're on sale for $69. Kate Spade ‘Like a Charm' Compass Pendant Set (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

137 Comments

    1. I think a more traditional leopard print would be more versatile. Something about these reminds me of a cow a bit. That said, I think they would totally go with block bottoms and cream/rose top.

    2. Yes–Agree. If the background is not dark, it kind of looks like you are wearing light shoes with dark pants, which looks odd in person. I think this is a hard leopard to match. Maybe better with skirts (where there’s some distance from the fabric to the shoe) rather than pants.

    3. Ooo I really like those. I think they would look better with a skirt but definitely black bottoms and a cream/rose top would work!

    4. The leopard print is too large for the scale of the shoe and the colors are a bit off. A more camel coloured background would be more versatile.

    5. Oh I love them! I would wear them with black pants and also a black skirt as well!

  2. So I think some of the ladies that post here are doctors and obv the rest go to the doctor, so a survey of sorts — have you ever gotten teary or burst out crying in your doctor’s office (not therapist — I mean a PCP).

    Not feeling great, in a new city, had a very hard time finding a doc, and have an appointment in a few days — and I feel so run down (due to stomach issues — so I’m not eating much and I think that’s gotten me even more worn out) and worried about whatever is going on and how it’ll affect my life/how I’ll cope — that I feel like I won’t even be able to talk to her without getting teary. I’m not trying to cry (obviously) and I fortunately am seeing someone with a good bedside manner — according to many reviews — but how bizzare will it look if it happens? I mean I don’t want her being like — you don’t need me, you need therapy (maybe I do; maybe I don’t — but first I need stomach issues healed). Has this every happened to anyone?

    1. I cried in my doc’s office when discussing my job situation, another time when I was worried about pending test results, and another time about a health issue in my family. So I wouldn’t worry — surely your doc has seen it before.

    2. Definitely happened to me, under similar circumstances. I was under a lot of stress in my personal life and was tired. I was asking my MD about a related medical issue and started crying. FWIW, when I taught college freshmen they cried frequently in office hours: the students were new to college life and struggling to make the transition. Honestly, I think more crying goes on than we feel comfortable talking about. Be kind to yourself.

    3. Don’t worry about crying in the doctor’s office – it happens ALL the time.

      Make a few notes on your phone or in a notebook so you don’t forget what you want to say/any symptoms you may have – it can be hard to remember these things when feeling emotional.

    4. Yes it has, but be calm about it and all will be well. It is always traumatic in a new venue but when you meet new people and they see how fantastic you are it will be great.

    5. I’ve done it multiple times due to shitty life circumstances. They’ve all been very understanding and I don’t worry about it anymore.

    6. Oh sweetie don’t even worry about this. I’m an IM resident and I’ve seen even the coldest attendings be kind to someone who is teary and given that you’re going to someone w a good bedside manner, I’d expect them to be very kind about it. Think of it this way — people go to the doctor and have to tell why they need to be tested for x disease bc they randomly did something with a stranger that was against their better judgment; or explain why they were standing on their roof during a thunderstorm or whatever else. Getting a little teary bc you’re in a new city, had a heck of a time getting an appointment, and don’t feel well and are worried about why — that’s NORMAL.

    7. First of all, doctors see it all and there’s really very little you could do that would shock them. Crying certainly doesn’t qualify. And yes, I’ve cried in a PCP’s office. I had shingles my 3L year of law school and I went to the doctor and she asked me if I was under any stress and I welled up when I told her that I was graduating from law school without a job and had no idea what I was going to do with my life. She hugged me, said some supportive things and treated my physical illness.

      1. THIS. Crying does NOT qualify as weird. You would NOT believe the weird stuff ppl have to talk to doctors about and drs. deal with it w/o batting an eye. Crying is not on the top 10 or even the top 1000 list. Go. Tell her your symptoms (make a list in advance if you think you’ll forget). Make a treatment plan. If you cry, you cry.

    8. Yes, this happened when I saw a new family doctor for the first time. I’d unfortunately had a very late night at work the night before. She noticed, and sympathized, and told me about a time in residency that she was so tired she would have cried at the drop of a hat. I don’t think the doctor will think anything of it at all.

    9. I’m not even an easy crier, but I welled up in my PCPs office last week discussing my difficulty dealing with my perimenopausal symptoms. She totally understood, and told me I’m completely normal.

      You’ll be OK. Do jot down your notes before going so that you don’t get distracted and forget.

      1. ETA – ever notice how EVERY doctor’s office has boxes of tissues? You don’t usually go to the GI for a runny nose. Those boxes of tissues are there for the inevitable tears. It is SOOOO common.

        Also, I read a ton of medical records for my job. So many describe “Jane is a pleasant 40 year old woman here to discuss pain in her [body part]. Jane tearfully relayed that it impacts life activities A, B and C and she is seeking relief.”

        Or – Jane becomes emotional when describing her frustration that treatment has not restored the function of X.

    11. I cried in front of my OBGYN like 100 times during my pregnancy. I do not think you should think twice about it. You are describing difficult/painful stuff and it’s their job to help you.

    12. Funny story – when I was 15, I came down with what turned out to be severe pneumonia. My mom went with me to the doctor, who then sent me to get a chest x-ray. I had a 104.5 degree fever with a terrible cough, and I was shivering on the table after they made me change into a hospital gown. A nurse came in and started asking me standard questions for at least 10 minutes as I grew more and more miserable. She finally got to the last one – “Are you pregnant?” – and I BURST into tears, only because I felt so awful and was sick of answering questions that didn’t apply to me (I had only kissed a boy before!). But the nurse was so alarmed that she sent my mom out of the room and started quizzing me about my non-existent sex life. THAT was fun…

      In any event, no, it’s not abnormal at all and you will sound way more sane than a 15 year old half-delusional with a high fever insisting through her tears that she’s never had sex before :)

    13. YES! Probably many times but two stand out. The first was the summer I was studying for the bar and had a horrendous cold. (Man, this is embarrassing) I cried when she said it was just a cold and couldn’t give me an antibiotic. That’s how terrible I felt. The stress didn’t help.
      Second time was more warranted. I cried at the pediatrician’s office at my son’s 4 week visit when she told me that he’d tested positive for the Cystic Fibrosis gene and would need further testing to rule it out. He didn’t end up having it but the whole experience was awful.
      I would say- they seen people cry for much less than what you are dealing with!

    14. I once fell asleep in the examining room (they brought me back and the doctor was delayed) and then cried when the doctor found me. They’ve seen it all before and a good doctor will be patient.

    15. Lady, I cried at a BANK last week because I was frustrated and having a bad day (note: trying to get a Medallion Signature is the worst). No judgment here!

      1. OMG. IT IS THE WORST. I had to spend a nightmarish 45 minutes sitting next to my soon-to-be-ex-husband waiting for them to have two people available to go get the medallion stamp. It was the last thing we needed to complete our divorce settlement so I’d never have to see him again. I finally ended up tearfully begging the bank manager to please, please make it happen because of how miserable it was to sit there with him.

        2. Cbackson, family law is a very small part of my practice but I want to let you know that your posts have made me a much more compassionate attorney towards both my clients and the opposing parties. I have never been divorced or had my heart really truly broken before so it can be hard to understand why two adults can’t do something that the court, or the guardian ad litem or us attorneys think is so easy and so reasonable.

          I have one case in particular where I’m getting really frustrated with the opposing party because she won’t do anything that requires her to have even the slightest contact with my client. I’ll admit, I totally judged her as being unreasonable. Ex – this isn’t a DV case. There is no reason the two of you can’t go to a real estate closing together. I really respect your opinion and reading how hard it was for you to sit with your ex waiting for a medallion signature (those are the WORST), I suddenly realized, maybe we are putting unreasonable expectations on some of our divorce clients.

          Just thought you would like to know that your post reaches far and wide. :)

          1. Aw. Thanks! I think it is an incredibly difficult area to practice in, and I really admire the attorneys who can do it. My ex-husband’s attorney (I represented myself) was extremely tactful and considerate, and to this day, I think of her with appreciation for how much that helped the process.

    16. Yes! I feel very comfortable with my pcp and I have several frustrating health issue, so yes I’ve cried. He’s fine with it.

    17. Yes! I was in law school and transitioning off depo provera, which meant 6 months of no periods after my last shot followed by several months of getting my period every other week. You’d better believe I burst into tears trying to explain how horrible it was to have my period that often. The doctor was very understanding.

    18. I went through about a year period where, due to some PTSD type issues, I couldn’t talk to a healthcare provider about my symptoms without crying.

      It was really awkward and I think I scared a hapless intern or two, but I would just explain — hi, I’m fine, I just have a tendency to have this involuntary emotional reaction when I describe my medical history, so bear with me.

      Everyone was extremely kind and compassionate, so don’t you worry!

    19. Another person adding in to the chorus of “yup, cried in the doctor’s office” – my own PCP, with the nurse before the PCP came in, with the therapist/psychiatrist almost all the time, with my kids’ pediatrician when I was scared, and with a lactation consultant every day for 3 weeks.

      That said, if you really think you are going to break down and not be able to communicate with your doctor, write it all out tonight, and then you can just hand a note to your doctor tomorrow. More than one time I’ve seen (and then given) the advice to a person to print out what they wrote to us here and hand that to their doctor. In your case, write out what you have said here, and then write out the specific symptoms (stomach troubles that include X, Y and Z, for A hours after each meal, happening for the past B weeks). You can also take a copy of any other relevant records on paper (list of prescriptions, last time you saw a PCP, date of your last period, etc) for the same reason – so you aren’t flustered when they are rapid firing questions at you.

      Good luck, and I hope the doctor can help with your stomach. That said, it might not be the worst idea in the world to also get a therapist referral so you can deal with some of your stress, but I do agree that being run down from being in pain and therefore unable to sleep well or eat could also be the main part of your weepiness – but it’s probably better to talk to someone, because unfortunately your PCP probably isn’t going to give you a definitive diagnosis and solution at your visit tomorrow, there will probably be lots of follow up tests and potentially visits to specialists, and it would be good to have someone to talk to about how the stress of all that is affecting you.

      And if your stomach issues are extremely severe (sudden severe pain, trouble breathing, feeling like you are going to faint, fever, bleeding) – don’t wait a couple of days for an appointment, go right to an ER. Or at a minimum, call the nurse line on the back of your insurance card and describe your symptoms to them, and they can tell you whether to go to the ER or whether you are ok to wait the couple of days.

    20. I’m a doc and people cry in my office all the time. Sometimes they are relieved by good news (or just relieved to have someone listen to them!) or are overwhelmed by their illness. It’s totally okay. Any doctor with experience will be used to this happening.

    1. Unfortunately hit or miss IMO – the gold in particular tends to look super shiny and costume-y in person. I’d order from a retailer that offers free ship and returns only.

    2. It’s pretty cheap, but also fun costume jewelry. I am wearing a Kate Spade statement necklace right now. But I have to take the earrings out every night or else my ears hurt (which isn’t a thing for me, normally). So – perfectly fine quality to wear on occasion, but not what I’d pick to wear day in, day out.

  4. Which do you think is more important: giving money to a cause or volunteering your time? Why? how do you decide which to give?

    2. I think both are great and you can’t objectively say that one is better than the other. I decide which to give based on whether I feel like I have more money or time. In college and law school I had more time. Since I started working I’ve had more money.

    3. I think the general theory with this is that giving money is usually better, unless there is a specific need for volunteer time (i.e., staffing a specific event, commitment to some specific role, etc.).

      1. +1 The organization would definitely rather have cash. Almost always.

        That said, if all you have to give is your time, then give that!

    4. I’m on the board of a non-profit and we ask our board members to give time, talent, and/or treasure. Each is important in its own way.

    5. Giving money is easy. Giving time shows a real commitment. I give money to lots of organizations. I give time on an ongoing basis fewer and they are mostly community-based groups (one morning a month at a homeless shelter and currently fostering kittens for a humane society).

      1. …I think that giving money, at a certain level, is definitely not “easy,” and giving money doesn’t mean you aren’t making a “real commitment.” I give up other things in order to afford to give at the level I believe to be appropriate and necessary, and the organizations I support need money – not more hands. I also volunteer with an organization that has plenty of cash, but must have volunteers to provide the services it offers. Trust me, charities desperately need donations to operate, and that’s no less “real” a gift than being there in person.

      2. I think it depends.

        My donating $100 to Planned Parenthood is a drop in the bucket and might not make as much of a difference in someone’s life as my spending an hour as a clinic escort.

        My offering to volunteer for 3 hours at Doctors Without Borders is utterly useless as I cannot live overseas, have zero medical training, no meaningful ability to handle logistics, or foreign language skills. For example.

    6. I probably give more $ to things that I feel are good for society, and give time for things with personal connections that have meaning to me.

      I volunteer my time with hospice and health related programs where my expertise is useful and the life impact on the people I work with is high.

      I give $ to world / local hunger programs, Carter center, planned parenthood, biomedical research, struggling yet wonderful arts organizations, etc….

    7. I think it’s better than most costume jewelry but overpriced at full price. In particular, IME it does not tarnish quickly like some of her costume jewelry.

  5. Are you in your home when the cleaners come to clean? Do you feel queasy about not being there? Have you ever had things stolen from a cleaner? Our very reliable and excellent cleaners have been cleaning our place on Saturday mornings, when we are home. They now want to switch to a weekday during which no one will be at home. DH is very uneasy about this, he does not like to give them a key and have no one be there. We have no reason to not trust them, it’s always the same two women and they have worked in our area for a long time.

    I do understand his point of view but I don’t want the solution is, short of one of us working from home that day (which would not be ideal).

    1. Funny- I’m at work today (after getting back from a long road trip last night) mainly because I didn’t want to be in the house when our cleaner came. I’m sure it would be fine, but I feel in the way and sort of awkward about it. But when we first hired her only a few months ago, I was very freaked out about someone being in the house when we weren’t home. Funny how your perspective can shift.

    2. I don’t have a housecleaner for this reason, but I’d recommend getting a safe and locking up anything you wouldn’t want to have to replace.

    3. I’m never home. Our cleaners came highly recommended by a friend, and they clean houses for a number of lawyers, judges, and law enforcement in town, which made me feel comfortable with them from the start. They’ve cleaned my house for more than 2 years now, and I’ve never had an issue, and I never lock anything up (other than things which normally stay locked up, regardless of whether we are home or not).

    4. I’m never home when my cleaning lady comes and I would leave the house if I was for some reason at home that day. Not being there doesn’t bother me a bit. The woman who cleans for me lives on word-of-mouth referrals and has been cleaning for me for 4 years now without issue. I never lock anything up and don’t bother putting away jewelry or anything like that. I also don’t own any jewelry that costs more than $300. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have it out on my dresser, but I also wouldn’t lock it up in a safe.

      I’d be much more worried about a cleaning service where you get a different crew every time and they don’t have a vested interest in treating your home well.

    5. I’m never home when the cleaning crew is there. I hate being underfoot. I’ve had paid cleaning crews for 30 or so years now, and nobody has ever stolen anything.

      That said, one thing you can do to feel a little better about the “giving them a key” thing is to have one door with two locks — one that has the regular key that you use, and one that is only used by the cleaning people. On cleaning day you leave the regular lock unlocked and lock the “cleaning people” lock, which they open with their key to get in. Then the rest of the time you use the regular lock so the cleaning people can only get into your house on their day.

    6. I have done both. I work from home now, so I am always home when they come. I used to not work from home, and I would never be home.

      I like being home when they come so I can check their work and have them redo anything that I think needs redoing. I don’t actually have concerns about things being stolen, etc.

  6. I’m moving to DC at the end of next month and am going up this week to scope out apartments. Any recommendations for particular buildings and/or neighborhoods? DH’s office is at the opposite end of the mall from mine — Federal Center SW and Metro Center, but I’m not exactly sure what neighborhoods are between the two. Budget is ~$2500-$3000/month. I’m looking at places on Apartment Finder, but I’ve heard that some of the newer buildings aren’t listed yet. I’m guessing it’s just a matter of hitting the pavement to find those, right?

    Also, is it worth checking out townhouses, or will our timing/budget knock those off the list? If not, what’s the best way to find those — Craigslist?

    Thanks in advance for any help.

    1. They’re both on the blue/orange line, so I’d look for apartments off the blue/orange line.

    2. In between Federal Center SW and Metro Center is just the mall and a lot of office buildings. I suppose you could live in Penn Quarter but it’s quite pricey for the amount of space you get. You’d both have an easy commute if you lived near any of the Blue/Orange line stops on the Hill, but there aren’t so many big apartment buildings there; you’ll need to look on Craigslist. Waterfront/Navy Yard has many more large apartment buildings and should be accessible by bus to Federal Center (even walkable, depending on where in the neighborhood you are), or you can switch lines at L’Enfant.

      1. Oh, and no, you will not be able to rent a townhouse for less than $3k/month in any neighborhood convenient to public transit and close to your jobs.

    3. There’s no way you’ll find a townhouse for under $3000, and y0u also won’t find a new 2 bed in that price range. You may be able to find an older 2 bedroom apt/condo, but it’ll be tough. Maybe try targeting a 1 bedroom with den.

      If you want to stay in the city and have a straight shot on the metro, I’d look on Capitol Hill or in Foggy Bottom. You could try Shaw or NoMa if you’re okay with the trade-off of a cheaper place but a longer commute.

      Try Hotpads in addition to Craigslist. I did a similar search to yours in the last few months and found a lot more listings on Hotpads. Craigslist is unfortunately increasingly full of scams.

      If you’re okay to move outside the city, places off the blue/orange line in Arlington, VA will get increasingly cheaper as you get further outside of the city. Rosslyn, Courthouse, Clarendon, Virginia Square, and Ballston will all have good options (in order of distance from the city).

    4. Welcome to DC!

      Honestly, it really depends on what kind of neighborhood you want to live in. Your jobs are both very centrally located, so you could live on pretty much any metro line and have a not-terrible commute. There are also busses. In addition to what others have suggested, I recommend looking into places on the green line (Columbia Heights, Petworth, Mt. Pleasant) if you want a more neighborhood-y feel.

      If you’re willing to look at older buildings, there are some rent-controlled gems around. My husband and I compromise a bit on space and location (studio apartment in Foggy Bottom, which is not the most exciting part of town), but we save tons on rent due to rent control.

  7. Is anyone else still waiting for a Nordstrom return to be processed? It’s been a couple of weeks now and I”m getting nervous because it was a few big ones. I’m hoping they’re just behind due to the sale.

    1. You can always live chat with them and ask. Did you save the tracking information? I usually don’t but for big purchases I will take a photo of the label so that I can keep track and reference the tracking number to Nordstrom that way.

      1. I really should have but I didn’t. I wonder if there’s a way to link them up somehow based on Nordstrom’s records. Bahhh. I really don’t want to pay that $3,000 bill.

        1. I think so. I had a return credit go missing and the chat was helpful. I don’t think I had the tracking number in front of me.

          Don’t their return labels come attached to the receipt? I’m guessing they do have a record of the number.

  8. Housecleaner question. DH is very uncomfortable letting the cleaners into our home when we are not there. Up to this point they have been cleaning on Saturdays when we are at home, but they want to switch to a weekday when we won’t be there.

    Are you ok letting your cleaner in your home when you’re not there? It’s always the same two women and they are very reliable and good and we have no reason to think otherwise. I do understand where DH is coming from but I don’t know what the solution is, short of working from home that day.

    1. Yes, our service has a key. If his concern is theft, my gut reaction is that good housecleaners know that most people will point the finger at them first and won’t want to do anything to cause that.

      1. I hate being there if people are there cleaning…makes me feel lazy and entitled. So yes, I am fine with it.

    2. I’m uncomfortable being there when the cleaners are there. Sometimes you just have to turst people.

    3. Yes, if its the same people and I trust them. What is his specific concern? That they’ll steal? Take whatever your care the most about and hide it. I actually have a locking jewelry box for this exact reason – it won’t prevent burglars from taking the whole thing, but I can lock it and not be too worried if I have someone working in my apartment when I’m not there. We also tend to keep some cash in the house and I would just put it somewhere that’s not too obvious.

    4. I don’t trust anyone with a key because my house was burglarized by our cleaners when I was growing up. But I’m aware I’m in the minority on this because of my past experience. I am ok with us letting them in and then leaving them alone, even though they could obviously steal stuff if they wanted to in that situation. But having your stuff stolen by someone you let into your house somehow seems less traumatic to me than having someone break into your house to steal, plus we would have definitive proof they did it and so for that reason I feel like they wouldn’t. Our cleaners come on Saturday morning and we let them in and then go to brunch and to run errands. We also take the dog with us which saves her having to be locked in a crate while they clean, which she would really hate since she’s scared of both strangers and vacuums.

    6. Why doesn’t he trust people you’ve hired to do their jobs? It’s honestly pretty gross

  9. Going to an outdoor networking event tomorrow. It will be roughly 90 degrees and very humid. Invitation says feel free to dress “casual.” What the heck should I wear???

    1. Summer dress that you would be comfortable with your colleagues seeing you in.

    2. I’d wear a breezy dress- a wrap dress that isnt too tight at the top, or a blouson dress with a waist, or possibly a lined ponte dress that isn’t bodycon. If you choose to go with a linen dress, maybe wear a cotton slip so that if there’s any sweat, the dress doesnt stick right to your skin.

      1. **But not if you think there will be wind. You don’t want to be trying to hold your wrap dress down from flashing people, while also shaking hands, holding a drink, etc.

  10. I was really interested in this morning’s thread about coasting on smarts vs. working hard– posting here because I think it’s too late to get replies there. Baconpancakes (and anyone else) can you please give more deets about how you went from A to B? I honestly feel like I am doomed to a life of cycling between procrastination and frantic work , where what I ultimately produce is never quite as good as it could be if I were just efficient and focused. I used to think having kids would make me focused by necessity but no–turns out sleep deprivation/exhaustion just makes everything way worse.

    2. I’m curious about this too. The only thing that motivates me is spite/rivalry. I think I would have probably done well with a sibling. So when I need to, I just try to figure out some way to get a small chip on my shoulder about whatever task. Otherwise I am – unfortunately – quite content to just coast on being quick enough to get by with minimum effort. Not a quality I admire in myself but something I perversely and secretly enjoy, I think.

      1. This is hilarious AIMS. It reminds me of the part of Mindy Kaling’s book where she talks about how she has to fantasize about getting revenge on her husband’s murderers (both husband and murder fictional) in order to whip up the energy to work out.

        1. That would totally work for me! I tend to be very self depricating and never brag about any accomplishments but the biggest driver for me internally is that feeling of wanting to “do better” than someone irritating to me. Once I get there, I pretty much lose interest but on the road to getting there I basically need an arch nemesis.

    3. I’m really interested too. KT, I’m particularly interested in your story. Writing was one of those skills I never learned how to do well in school. I wrote a ton of papers but mainly just to finish an assignment and never focused on improving my writing ability. I’d love to hear more about your hyper-organized plan. Hopefully I could pull some ideas from it.

    4. At the risk of being called a troll I’ll share my story:
      I have always been told I am boarding on genius which also comes with an inability to properly function in social settings. I managed to get As by just attending classes and grilling the professor on the spot then never looking at a book again. I breezed through work (which is if you have read my stories here, you would recall caused a lot of bullying and me eventually leaving my previous job).
      I have hyper focus ADD so not only do I get things fast, I also get bored fast.
      The one thing that worked for me was moving into MBB in a chill office AND hanging out with partners or practice experts. Being in such an environment means that I am no longer the smartest person in the room. Everyone has done amazing things at a young age and continues to shine.
      I am challenged every day in a nurturing environment because none of these partners feels the least threatened by my work. That’s for the intellectual challenge part.
      As to the getting things done: I am a procrastinator or as a partner calls me “Pressure-Prompted J” (referring to MBTI). I just need the pressure so I create artificial deadlines, or set meetings with client before I even think I am ready so I have deliverables on time.
      When all fails and I see myself getting comfortable again, I try to channel my energy into something else (completely unrelated to work) and bizarrely that is exactly what my ADD brain needs.
      Last, I never blame myself. I used to always kick myself thinking I would do amazing things had I used my brainpower x% more. Truth is, I can only focus so much and so be it. On days when I am killing it, I just celebrate, and on days where I truly can’t focus, I make pretty slides and know it will still be OK. Pretentious? yes but I have to be kind to myself otherwise no one else would be. I have been through hell more than once so I stopped being my own enemy.

        1. Thank you, I missed being around here but I am finally resurfacing. Leaving my country so abruptly wasn’t as traumatic as everyone wanted me to think.

      3. Houda I love how you’ve learned to just accept what you can do and embrace the good days but also be ok with the less productive ones.

        1. The second part was the hardest. I still have days when I tend to judge myself but I learned to tell myself that it’s OK to be fallible and repeat as many times as needed to numb the voice that tells me “you don’t deserve to be here”.

      4. This is SO ME! I definitely stress myself out by creating these fake deadlines and then I go, “why? it’s okay, chill out” and make myself “too okay”, if that makes sense, with procrastinating. I also give myself a pass on the not-productive days because when I’m killing it at work, I am *KILLING IT*.

    5. Yep, this is me exactly. For the record, I’m in law and I think you can very much succeed in law without being particularly smart if you are diligent and hardworking, especially after law school. I was on the top 5% of my law school class (tier 1, but not to 10) with boatloads of procrastination and minimal studying. I used to feel good about this, but now I respect those traits (diligence, hard work) more and more as I get older, because I usually lack them. This is also why I realize immediately (during a summer) that I was not cut out for BigLaw. I work for the government in a field that is personally rewarding. The work feels important most of the time. This helps motivate me to get stuff done. Even here, I look with some envy at my more type A co-workers who I think are way more efficient and productive- but then not really envy, because I’m too lazy to want to be them! It looks exhausting to be them. So I’m lucky to skate by on being smart and good at creative/outside the box thinking. And I’m an excellent writer, which can camouflage a lot of other flaws (excluding my comments here which suffer from being to too lazy to edit properly while using mobile). But I don’t feel as proud of this as I used to.

    6. Sorry for the late reply, but for me, it was really just a situation of external factors. I was really, really desperate to be employed, and got a job that monitored our internet use and had strict metrics we had to hit, in an open floorplan, so there really wasn’t anything else to do except work on assignments in a timely manner. Combined with tasks that didn’t make use of my natural talents, I legitimately had to work really hard for the first time in a long time. It was pretty brutal, actually, and I cried in the bathroom on multiple occasions, but I said to myself that if I could get through that job, I could do literally anything I put my mind to.

      Now, back in school, I find myself slipping a bit, and am focusing by using the Inbox Zero (act on, delay until a scheduled time, or delete all emails at set intervals during the day), and prioritizing my tasks by the Must Do, Should Do, Would Like to Do order system for the day, but mostly, I just remember the horrible feeling of waking up with no opportunities in front of me and debt mounting up, and buckle down.

      TL;DR – basically, fear is a great motivator.

          1. These are so awful, and the quality of the gold looks bad even in the picture to market them!

  12. Anybody seen any classy looking leopard print heels with a round toe that are calf hair, not printed on the leather? I prefer 3.5 to 4 inches.

    1. I have a pair like this from Ann Taylor maybe 2 years back. Maybe check as the winter stock starts rolling out, as calf hair tends to be more wintery.

  13. Frivolous question: any recommendations for colored pencils or pens for adult coloring books?

    (Don’t judge! I find them strangely enjoyable).

    2. There are definitely better ones. I don’t know what they are, but I bet there are coloring specific websites and review the different pencils. Or try an art store. Mr. Kitten got a set of specific pens for his coloring books, that I think were from Michael’s.

      1. I tried it and found it just added more stress because I wasn’t satisfied with how it looked as I went along. I passed along my supplies to my sister who loves it.

        So I’d pick something inexpensive at first to try it out.

      2. I have a “Paris” themed one that I didn’t like as much as I thought I would (it’s less Paris and more drawings of random objects, like lipstick tubes). I do like the “Secret Garden” one – it’s more intricate, so it’s more engrossing.

      3. I like it too. The color by number are more relaxing for me. I got stressed picking colors for the first book I bought. I prefer gel pens to crayons too. Costco has a 100 set on sale now.

    6. I love the Prismacolor ones! But I took a class on using them (yes, yes, judge me). They’re not as easy as they seem.

      1. +1 to Prismacolor. I have a set from 1995 that still are going strong and color beautifully (also took a class in them, but it was 20 years ago now…)

    7. I am hugely into coloring books lately. I have found Pentel to be the best brand for markers. They don’t dry out nearly as fast as some other brands I have tried.

    8. I use Koh I Noor (Mondeluz), Koh I Noor (Gioconda), and Derwent Inktense

      Two of these are watersoluble because I like having that option, and one is pastel.

  14. I love the Crayola Construction Paper Crayons. Something about their texture is really satisfying. I get them on Amazon.

  15. Can I just say, Go Olympics. Thank you for being enjoyable and safe for my 5 year old to watch! Gymnastics and swimming are big hits in my house. I could do with a bit more coverage for the beach volleyball players, but I enjoy watching them too! The skills of these athletes amazes me, and I’m proud to support them!

  16. I hope I’m not too late! Los Angeles area therapist needed!

    I need recommendations for a therapist in the LA area – preferably in or near downtown LA. Would be mainly for my SO (male) in his late 20s. but eventually I would like to do couples counseling or even pre-marital. I don’t need them to be specialized – just someone that could explore interpersonal relations, life satisfaction, communication, emotional issues, modeling relationships after parents, healthy relationships, etc.

    Thank you thank you!!

    {anon for this but semi-regular poster}

    1. My beloved Dr. Shrink is in Pasadena and I recommend him quite highly. If that works for you, shoot me an email at seniorattorney1 at gmail and I’ll share his info.

  17. I’m probably too late in the day to post this, but does anyone have recommendations for where to find a simple solid wood dresser (five or six drawers with vertical orientation) for under $300? I’m in the Bay Area and it is surprisingly hard to find anything acceptable. TIA!

    2. The Ikea Hemnes dresser is mostly solid wood (not entirely, but enough that it feels like a nice, weighty piece), and it’s $200.

    3. I got a really nice midcentury modern solid wood dresser at the Alameda antiques market for $300. There’s a delivery service from there too. First sunday of the month.

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