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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The Black Halo Jackie O dress was ubiquitous among professional women when I was early in my career. I hadn’t thought much about the brand until Kat drew my attention to this gorgeous A-line. I particularly love the stand collar — a perfect setup for showcasing your favorite necklaces. (I feel like I’m finally starting to get the hang of layering chains of different length without getting them all tangled up.)
This buttercream color is a really unusual choice for workwear, but I can definitely see how some people could pull it off. If that’s not your style, it also comes in a more traditional navy.
The dress is $415 at Shopbop and comes in sizes 0–16.
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anon
I’ve posted here before about filing for Chapter 13 bankruptcy. Please keep me in your thoughts today as I sign my bankruptcy papers with my attorney. I was up all night in tears as I thought about how embarrassed I would be if my family ever found out. I feel scared and alone, but I know this is the right step for me.
I’ll have a hefty, monthly Chapter 13 payment for the next 5 years, but it won’t be nearly as much as what all the minimums on my debts were combined. I’ll be 34 when the bankruptcy is over. October will be month 1 of 60 of my new start.
Anon
Thinking of you today, friend. Hold your head high. You have a path forward, and that is great.
Ellen
Yes, people file for bankruptcy every day, and their lifes go on. You now can clean up your old debt, and once you do, you move on. If you are not already married, you will actually be in a BETTER position then before to find a guy, b/c you will now have less debt to repay, and then you become necessarily more attractive to men, who will not have as big of a finacial burden to assume if you get him to marry you. Once he is in the picture as your spouse, you will have 2 people to focus on your lower amount of debt to repay. So cheer up, this is something to feel great about! YAY!
Clementine
The only way out is through.
Sending you good vibes – this is a new season and a new chapter (forgive the pun) in your life. You are starting anew! How exciting.
go for it
You are doing great, and you are not your debt. You are a person on the way to change!
Hold your head high.
Anon
Well done for doing what you need to do to get past all this.
Anonymous
In only 60 months it will be behind you. It may sound like forever but I promise you it is a blink.
I’m 38 and have had multiple 5-year loans to pay off and they went by in a blink. My oldest runs 9 next week and I swear she was just born!
Vicky Austin
You’ve already done the hardest part. We’ll all be thinking of you!
Anon
Good luck. Please find a community for support and accountability. I know a woman who started a blog because Ch. 13 is long and hard.
You know this: you will be 34 in September 2027 whether or not you file. Your choice is a debt-free 34 or drowning in debt at 34. Your future self is deeply, deeply thankful for today you.
pugsnbourbon
Good on you for taking this step. I know it seems huge and scary and shameful now, but I promise one morning soon you’ll wake up and you will feel so much better.
Ribena
That must have taken a lot of bravery and gumption. Serious congratulations and all the good karma coming your way
Mrs. Jones
It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Good luck!
Anon
Wishing you the best! I filed Ch 7 nine years ago. I was getting divorced and drowning in medical and credit card debt. It was the best decision of my life. In five years, you’ll be in such a better position. Anecdata, my credit score went up about 30 points within 6 months of filing, and I was able to get a car loan (at 6%, not the best rate but not double digits) within a year. Today I own a home, have all the credit I need, and my credit score hovers around 750.
Anon
Also, I recommend the FICO forums for support. I also told very few people about my Ch 7, and I learned a lot from supportive Internet strangers over there!
Colette
Dave Ramsey himself declared bankruptcy!
Hold your head high. Life is long. This is just one phase. You are taking all of the right steps to get on a good path.
Seventh Sister
You are really, really brave and it’s going to be OK! You’d be surprised to learn how many people (people you know in real life) file for bankruptcy and it helps them start a new chapter in their lives.
Senior Attorney
Much love to you! You got this!!
Anon
I feel like a 2020 NBA player but has anyone tested + for COVID while staying in a hotel on a trip? I tested a ton before the trip and have only been in a KN95 since leaving home (so I think I had it building within me prior to the trip). I feel like a person with allergies (which I am) but otherwise OK. Can order room service and have them leave the tray, so not worried about that. I only tested per protocols for daiky testing for the meeting I am at. I was negative yesterday. I guess I can see how it goes (like my stay may be extended and obvs return flight date is in question especially if I get fevers or worsten). Does anyone have pointers for this? Sadly, hotel room window is non-opening so could see if there is a room I can be moved to and alert the hotel so that it can cool off before the next guest. Ugh. Glad I packed snacks and comfy clothes.
LaurenB
Someone I know was in this situation, though she was in a hotel fairly near her home at the time. Her husband packed fresh changes of clothing and snacks and dropped them in a suitcase outside the hotel; she (N95-masked) retrieved the suitcase so no contact. That may not be feasible for you, but is there a coworker with you on this trip who might be persuaded to do a Target run for anything you may need and drop it at your door? Other than that, honestly, I think it’s OK to traverse through your hotel (again N95-masked) to get to the outdoors and walk around, assuming you can do so without running into other people. Of course, you won’t be lingering in the lobby or going to the hotel restaurant or anything.
Anon
I would have left the hotel if I had a spouse, a car, and a mask (I have no one at home who hasn’t had it recently though). Although a week solo in a hotel is an awesome mom-detox break.
LaurenB
In this case, the spouse is high-risk / compromised and they had a daughter who was getting ready to leave for college, so they felt it wasn’t worth running the risk of her bringing a confirmed case into the house.
Anon
Re mom detox, I am secretly kind of looking forward to the day I eventually get Covid and get to spend 5-10 days alone in my room with a big stack of books.
Curious
I did watch Bridgerton, but it wasn’t worth it otherwise…
Anonymous
What makes you think you have COVID? Might you just actually have a cold? Or allergies?
Fwiw our family still has not had COVID but we’ve had stomach bugs, the flu, chest colds, and all kinds of other nastiness. The other stuff is still out there!
Anon
She said she caught it through daily testing, so I assume that means she has a positive test result for Covid. False positives are very rare.
Anonymous
Oops- totally misread her post! Thanks!
Anon
OP here. No doubt. But I have to test daily and today I am +.
Ribena
Someone whose podcast I listen to had this happen to her (Becca of Bad on Paper) while she was in France. She paid for an extra week (?) of her hotel room and lived off room service breakfast and Deliveroo groceries. If it’s a work trip, I would say it’s your employer that should bear the cost of that.
A colleague also had this happen to him last year – he was just about in driving distance of home so did contactless car hire pickup (I think the car was left outside the hotel for him) and then drove home for 10 hours. I will say I don’t think that was a great idea safety-wise as he felt worse as the day went on and he probably wasn’t a super safe driver as a result.
Anon
OP: I am something like a 30-hour car ride from home, so might as well be France. Agree that if you are ill, just best to wait it out. Hard to crash a hotel room vs a car.
Ribena
Yes exactly – just wait it out, and the suggestion upthread of asking a colleague to do a Target/CVS run before they leave town is a great one. I can recommend a West Wing rewatch – although I only managed about 8 episodes over my week of isolation!
Anonymous
Maybe just live your life and what happens ..happens?
Anon
?
Anon
This commenter is suggesting OP go out and about and expose others to COVID, and my reaction is not ?, but rather go back under the bridge.
LaurenB
What does this mean in this context? Surely you’re not suggesting a known Covid-positive person just waltz around as if they didn’t have it.
Anonymous
I just asked my employer what its policy in this situation is and it’s “get on the plane.” Apparently we are a sociopathic organization.
Anon
That is shocking and ethically wrong. Thank you for not doing that.
Anon.
I would check your employer’s policies immediately with regards to extending your hotel stay. Also, your health plan may have video appointments available, in case you need Paxclovid or any other prescriptions. Search for urgent care options in the vicinity. Find out what food delivery, laundry etc options you have with the hotel/around the hotel.
I can’t tell whether you are symptomatic, but I would search all that information so you have it handy in case you need it.
Not to discourage you, but many people I know tested positive for 10+ days.
Good luck!
Anon
Many people test positive for 10+ days, but I would be comfortable leaving the hotel in a KN95 mask on Day 6. That follows CDC guidelines and you’re very unlikely to infect someone else if you’re wearing a high quality mask.
Anon
My friend just had to do this coming back from France. He was on day 6, after extending his stay once he was +. Wore the N-95 the whole way home and was seated with his kids and spouse on the plane (who hadn’t been with him when he tested positive and quarantined) – they didn’t catch it from him so hopefully no one else did.
Woof
This happened to me–I was in a hotel with windows that opened, so that was helpful. I did not feel too badly, mostly fatigue, so it was ok. I wore a mask to walk through the hotel, and took daily walks–don’t use the elevator. Per the CDC, you are good to travel five days after testing positive. Check the website…even if you keep testing positive, the viral load goes way down, so you can head home. I did not take paxlovid, that might have shortened the quarantine time, I’m not sure. Ask your doctor. I did change my flight home, but it did not cost me anything due to Covid. Order groceries.
Anon
It seems that now the CDC doesn’t even really care when you tested unless you are totally symptom free. It looks like Toni’s 5 days after symptoms and if fever free.
Curious
CDC says Day 6 (5? I forget?) after a positive test or first symptom, OK to be with people with a good mask. Day 10 OK to unmask, contingent on no fever for the prior 24 hours. The protocol is surprisingly clear.
Anon
It’s clear, but it’s not very grounded in science. If you read the research studies, many people who are still testing positive have live culturable virus from days 5-10. It’s only after day 10 OR once you’re testing negative that the risk of infecting someone drops to near zero.
Curious
Oh interesting. We had to delay our flights and paid for it. possibly should call for a refund. (Yes, my husband, who didn’t get it when I got it, just went down.)
Anon
What airline? Where are you flying to? Most major US airlines will let you reschedule domestic flights and international flights originating within the US for free.
Anon
This happened to me in another country! I was really sick, though. I went for walks – mask off unless there were people nearby. If it’s nice out, go and do that or sit in a park. I ordered takeout and went in quickly just to pick it up (they did not have room service at the hotel). No elevators. I could fly after 5 days from the date of the test. Luckily, I was in business class so there was lots of space from people, and I kept a mask on.
Anon
It’s totally possible to get Covid while wearing a KN95. My husband did. Fortunately it was a super mild case, which may have been due to him getting such a low viral load on exposure. But unless you wear eye protection, the virus can enter your body that way.
Anon
Quiet today. Is everyone watching the Queen’s funeral? One thing I have been struck by is how the women wear 3”ish heels and stand on stone floors for hours, day after day. I would think that my peasant feet would excel at that (prior jobs at Walmart and Shoprite). But my feet cannot stand standing for any length of time, particularly on stone or hard surfaces, particularly in heels. Even comfort heels or even Hokas (basically foot pillows). What secret or witchcraft am I missing? I am in awe of so many feet that are heartier than mine.
Anon
LK Bennett heels, which Kate Middleton (or at least used to) sometimes wears, are shockingly comfortable. I could run down multiple flights of NYC subway stairs in them. That said, I don’t think I’d last as long as them standing in even LK Bennett heels but I’d like to think it helps.
But also, I just tell myself that it’s part of their job description (at least for the royals) to be able to do that.
Anon
I can totally run in heels. It is the standing that kills me. Clearly not cut out to be a royal or head of state, but for my next Marie Gras float ima need a stool because even fun standing (night at the bar, in prior times) is hard on the feets.
Vicky Austin
These days Kate’s go-to shoes are Gianvito Rossi, which are eye-wateringly expensive to this Payless gal, and I imagine you’re paying for a certain amount of comfort!
Anon
Agreed. I thought her LK Bennett days were when Maple Sugar patent leather and slight platforms were all the rage. I would support a small platform if it was made of memory foam.
Ellen
Kate Middelton is tall to begin with, so she does NOT need 4″ heels to be statueaskue. On the other hand, Megan is not as tall, and that is why she was wearing a flair dress rather than a pencil skirt, as Kate’s tuchus is probably flatter, tho with the flair dress on Megan, you could not know for sure, but since I look more like Megan than Kate, at least tuchuswise, that is my opinion only. But trust me, Megan got Harry, who is the more desireable, even though he will not be King.
Anne-on
I think it is partially just ‘training’ your feet to do it. Also the shoes are definitely broken in, all the women seem to have a ‘go to’ brand or designer that fits them well and I am sure they add in padding/heel cups/moleskine/etc. to make it as comfortable as possible. Ages ago in NYC I heard that some of the top fashion editors got botox in their feet so the heels wouldn’t hurt as much but I can’t see how that would work well long term.
But I agree – anything over a 1.5inch heel and I’m useless unless it’s a super fancy party/dinner where I only have to stand in them for 15-30 minutes (in the car/out of the car/go to table/sit).
Senior Attorney
Part of the wall-to-wall coverage I read over the past few days included the fun fact that the late Queen employed someone to break in all her shoes. Kate and Camilla probably do, too.
Anonymous
You just bear the pain and try to baby your feet the next day. Beauty is pain, as my mother always said.
Anonymous
Yes I did! They didn’t actually stand for hours and hours.
Anon
Maybe not today but there has been much time standing and queueing up since she dies (from the DM). I would need to be carried in a litter.
Anonymous Grouch
I curious about the shoes too. I thought the four inch stilettoes, whether or not they were painful, were a little tone deaf. Too much of a glamour shoe for a somber occasion, and no longer necessary to look “appropriate” in a post-pandemic world.
Anon
And don’t old English buildings have uneven stones and cobblestones and such? I often wrecked heels on paving stone joints and random sidewalk gaps in before times. Not to mention having to stand on grass and accidentally aerate it with spikes heels. I feel like Ferragamo Varas would be the way to go — maybe for Camilla? But my younger feet would like that or an M Gemi stellato for footwear for a formal / somber series of events.
Anonymous
They aren’t prisoners. If they wanted to wear low heels or flats, they would.
Anonymous
Wow that’s ridiculous.
Anon
Agreed.
Cat
+2
LaurenB
I can see uncomfortable, but “tone deaf”? How? These are appropriate shoes for somber occasions, as are flatter / more sensible shoes such as Ferragamos. They are not dressed for clubbing.
Ribena
I suspect most of the younger women in the RF do huge amounts of Pilates and strength workouts to maintain their figures, which probably helps with standing comfortably in heels – not only because they weigh less but also because they carry themselves better
Anonymous
Good point. I have been strength training over the pandemic and when I went to do the purge of heels prescribed here so often found I felt better than ever wearing them. I have kept pretty much all of them and wear them.often now.
Anon
What is the role of the guy all in red (red tunic, red tights)? He has a prominent spot in the procession.
Anonymous
In the Before Times many of us wore 3″ heels to court, to lead all-day meetings, etc. It was fine for some; the rest switched to comfort shoes. The older royal ladies tend to wear lower, blockier heels.
Anon
Corgis!!!
Anon
And horses. And now cooks it looks like.
Pep
I’m so glad I just happened to be walking back from the bathroom (WFH today) and happened to catch the corgis, and a uniformed butler (?), outside of Windsor as the procession went by.
Anonymous
I don’t wish to leave a pet behind, and doubt there will be a service of any kind if I go in time, but were I to die early, I sure hope someone would bring my pets to my memorial.
Anon 2.0
Shoes aside, I would hate to have to be completely “on” during a sad and somber event. You can’t ugly cry when you know the world is watching.
As for the shoes, I imagine practice helps and wearing hosiery in my experience can help with the rubbing and blisters. Camilla did get her heel caught a few days ago though and had to stop to wiggle it free.
Anon
This!! I’ve pondered this thought so many times. I did ballroom dancing in college in 3″ heels, when I was very in shape and lighter, and it was still a challenge. While at an all day competition, we’d take them off in between contests, even though those shoes are extremely supple, leather lined, and custom fitted for your feet. If I wore my shoes to a social dance all night, the balls of my feet would be burning and numb the next day.
Anonymous
I am watching mainly for the music. I thought the elite British church choirs had started to go co-ed, but Westminster Abbey was all boys and men, and I am only seeing one adult woman and one girl at Windsor Castle.
Seventh Sister
I can wear heels for long periods of time, but only in a couple of expensive brands (Stuart Weitzman and LK Bennett). My feet pronate, and having even a small heel is more comfortable to me than an entirely flat shoe. The other thing I’ve noticed with the return of block heels is that the shoe is heavy, so it feels more uncomfortable to me than a stiletto-type heel.
Anon
I agree with all your points. The only flats I find comfortable are super casual and very flexible ones. I’m most comfortable in a 2-3 inch heel.
Anon
I just had a pretty major surgery, and the offers of help and food and flowers from friends have been overwhelmingly kind. Now that I am healing, people are still offering to bring dinner, and I start to feel guilty. We could manage ourselves. We have small kids but also a nanny. Do y’all default to letting people help? If someone brings dinner, I feel like I need to be really in need and I need to look it too or otherwise they will be like ??? Is this just my own weirdness?
AIMS
It’s your own weirdness. I am the same way but I have to remind myself that people generally want to help when they offer. Ask yourself if you mean when you offer something like this. I do.
Anonymous
It’s your own weirdness. Let people love you.
Anonymous
Let people help. Honestly just feeling the love can be helpful, even if you could cook for yourself – it’s good for your mental health. My husband had a mild stroke a few years ago, and we got a lot of similar support. It wasn’t strictly necessary but it really made us feel supported and loved at a time when we (especially my poor husband, who had just turned 50) felt very vulnerable, angry, and scared.
Vicky Austin
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Madeleine L’Engle (surprise, surprise): “It is also blessed to receive.” Sometimes accepting your friends’ gifts/help/kindnesses IS the right thing. I wouldn’t sweat it. Pay it forward when you can.
pugsnbourbon
Love that. Another quote (random internet, no source) I saw recently was along the lines of “everyone who ever showed me kindness made me kinder in return.”
Curious
I love this. OP, 90+ families fed us as I went through chemo. Now we pay it forward. It’s a wonderful experience to let yourself be loved.
Nesprin
Appreciate, enjoy, and when you can, pay it forward.
Anonymous
I would also consider your spouse’s feelings about it. Caregiving is a huge burden. You may be starting to feel somewhat better and think “oh, spouse can handle cooking dinner now,” but he might not see it the way you do.
Telco Lady JD
Take all the help, love, and comfort you can get. I had a baby in November 2020 – and felt similarly to you. Like, “we can manage…I don’t want to be a bother….etc.” This was dumb. :-) Just lean in to all the help you can get.
Anonymous
I’m 36 and more or less wrinkle free (suspect largely due to being overweight more than anything else) but suddenly noticed when I smile I’m very ‘crepey’ around the eyes and top of my cheeks. Beyond anything like Botox, is this just time to invest in a better eye cream? I’m suddenly feeling old, a bit like whine I found my first grey hair.
Anon
I don’t think there’s much that can be done topically once you have lines. If you don’t want to try Botox, I’d stick with a good night cream, sunscreen everyday and sunglasses even when it’s cloudy.
Anonymous
Does Botox even help for this? I think avoiding further sun damage is your best bet. Perhaps there is a filler or a stitch to be had, but I see women on TV who otherwise have a lot of work done with crepey undereye skin, which makes me think there is not much help for this particular issue.
Anne-on
Only Botox will help freeze the lines, though retinols will help diminish them and other topicals (vitamin c, niacinimide, etc.) will help with the sun spots/uneven skin tone. Botox also wears off, so if you want to try it to see if it helps it won’t last forever. I’d probably start with good skincare for 3-4 months and then see if you notice a difference (and sunblock, every day!!).
Anon
I’d love an eye cream rec! I’m using LaRoche-Posey but find it somewhat sticky.
Anon
Ok so eye cream is a bit of a ripoff. I use it and I will tell you why, but a couple of things to note
– it’s just moisturizer in a smaller jar. There is no magic “eye” ingredient, though some daytime eye creams have reflective elements to camo dark circles, or caffeine to depuff. None of this addresses wrinkles.
– the only thing that might help long term is a retinoid, but that can also be very irritating to the thin skin around your eyes so it would take trial and error to see if you can tolerate it
All that said, I do sometimes wear eye cream. My reasons are, 1) I can tolerate a richer cream around my eyes than the rest of my face, and 2) I have lots of samples of eye cream and I’m just using them up.
The best of the samples I have is from Bobbi Brown. I think they threw it into one of my orders of their shadow sticks (the best!) Its called Bobbi Brown Extra Repair Eye Cream Intense. I don’t think it’s working any sort of miracle under my eyes but it feels nice and is hydrating. I wear it at night. I will probably not buy a full size when it’s done but it has been a nice experience and the sample has lasted a long time.
I tried the CeraVe under eye cream recently and it made my eyes burn so I’d be wary of that one.
Ellen
You should ask your dermatologyist about Restylane.
The Restylane ® line smooths away facial wrinkles and folds (Restylane, 5 Restylane Lyft, 6 Restylane Refyne, 7 Restylane Defyne 8), provides subtle lip enhancement (Restylane, 5 Restylane Silk 9), smooths the lines around the mouth (Restylane Silk 9), adds lift and volume to the cheeks (Restylane Lyft 6), and helps reverse the signs of volume loss in the back of the hands (Restylane Lyft 6).
I had a freind who was beautiful in law school, but over the years, she got your same eye problem, so that while she is still pretty, she did not age well. Her doctor started treating her with Restylane, and while she did not regain her youth from 25 years ago, she did improve substantially. She never married, and I think she may have a same sex partner, but be that as it may, she does look better.
AZCPA
See a cosmetic dermatologist if this is bothering you! They will have many options not available in a jar (like a light laser treatment), and can tell you if Botox will help you.
Anon
Help me make hosting less of a Pain. We want to have people over on friday/Saturday evenings, but the idea of making a nice dinner etc is a lot. Does anyone here host often? Is it acceptable to just have drinks/appetizers? Or something fairly simple? We just want to see people/hang and not have it be stressful.
Tina
My friend groups go-to for things like this is to order the main dish from somewhere, and then make appetizers/sides/desserts if desired. It makes everything low stress, and since we are all on the same page its not an issue.
AIMS
You can always order out and make that explicit.
Personally, I like to do an easy dinner I can make ahead and just pop into the over. Something like Ina Garten’s roasted vegetable lasagna and an arugula salad are very stress free. Alternatively, a big cheese/charcuterie board and wine can work.
Anon
Pizza and beer is a way to try in an easy way. Or drinks after the dinner hour? Drinks and nibbles late afternoon?
BeenThatGuy
Drinks and appetizers are great for this. I generally keep some frozen appetizers from BJs in my secondary freezer for this. Think spanakopita, mac and cheese bites, pigs in a blanket. It’s also very easy to throw together a hummus and veggie tray or vegetable dip with pita. In no time, with little effort, you can do this!
Anon
I agree. No need for a formal dinner. Lots of apps are great and maybe even a taco station. Drinks can just be seltzer, water, wine and beer. Don’t forget you can enlist people to help and bring things. I never go to a home without at least bringing a bottle of wine.
Anne-on
It’s totally ok to have a cocktail party but fwiw I often find those more of a pain than a full dinner. It doesn’t have to be a pull out the stops OMG amazing dinner where every single course is a show stopper. I only serve family style these days (no courses, everything on the table at once and passed around) and I almost always make a braise/roast/or something in a crockpot. So – roast turkey/beef tenderloin/brisket for ‘big’ holidays (Xmas, jewish hoidays or Thanksgiving) roast pork loin or chicken for a less fancy family gathering. For a braise – fancy stews (coq a vin, boeuf bourguigon) or less fancy homier version – beef stew, chicken and dumplings. For sports or casual parties (football, oscars, etc.) I’ll often do chili, taco bar (chicken done in the crockpot), or a hearty soup. Pick ONE fancy thing to showcase – usually your main – and then make the sides easy. A green salad, endive salad with citrus, roasted veggies, etc. Buy the bread from a good bakery unless you really love baking, ditto with the dessert.
Fwiw one of my most requested meals from family/friends is smitten kitchen’s sweet and sour holiday brisket which is done almost entirely the day before (it rests in the fridge overnight) so VERY easy to do for a crowd.
Anonymous
Yup. The closer the friend and the more often they come over the more casual you can be. You can order in pizza or sushi.
Want to be impressive and very easy? Roast a log of filet or a big side of salmon. Roast some split baby potatoes with it and enlist a friend to bring a big green salad. I like it roast things for dinner with friends because I’m less tied to the stove. Cheese board for an appetizer and buy a dessert.
My husband brought friends over the other day and I didn’t have a dinner I could make so I just started cleaning out the pantry and freezer and bringing it out as they watched the game. (Chips and spinach artichoke dip, frozen pretzels and fancy mustards, fries potstickers and goza sauce, cheese and cured meats, ect. They were way too sweet about the whole thing and very happy with a non-dinner.)
Anonymous
I sometimes make a nice dinner, sometimes make a big bowl of pasta and a salad, sometimes order takeout, and sometimes invite people over at 5 for a drink and put out a cheese plate and that’s it and they leave by 7.
You never have to make something fancy! You just need to make sure people aren’t hungry.
Marketiere
When we host, it’s usually close friends. We alternate ordering delivery with grilling, BYO appetizers, or cooking something easy (taco bar, chili, lasagna, etc.). If it’s a larger group and I’m really not feeling it, then I will run to Costco and grab a party-platter and salad for the group. No stress, just fun. We have basic drinks on hand, but everyone usually brings their own six pack or bottle of wine.
Ellen
I love to host work related parties at my apartement. Since I have a 2BR 2BA apartement, I can lock up my bedroom and let people congragate in the living and dining areas, throw their coats in my office/bedroom, and use the toilet in the vestibule rather then mine. By keeping my bedroom locked, I avoid the issue I once had with my cousin, who I let stay in my apartement when he came to visit from overseas, but then he wound up taking some of my panties from the hamper as well as one of my sneakers when he went back to Europe. I called his mom, but she said he denied it. You wont have that problemo if you keep your own underwear and personal stuff locked up in your bedroom.
Anonymous
You could plan a meal that is make-ahead heavy but day-of lite if you want it too be homemade. Otherwise, order out.
I have a couple of recipes that are great for hosting because they don’t require much time in the kitchen during the event, but do take some prep.
I host thanksgiving and Christmas morning, and since I have young kids I don’t want to spend Christmas in the kitchen. After a few years i have the morning locked down and spend it in my PJs occasionally moving things from oven to table.
Vicky Austin
I would LOVE to hear your plan of attack for Xmas morning. I love making scads of delicious food for the holidays but I hate spending the whole day in the kitchen.
Anonymous
Different anon here. I prep overnight cinnamon rolls or a French toast casserole the night before and just pop it in the oven while people are opening stockings.
DeepSouth
I make sausage pinwheels (rolled biscuit dough and breakfast sausage. I slice them and put on a baking sheet in the fridge and throw it in the oven as we wake up. 15-20 minutes into gift opening, we have these and some fruit to nibble on.
I make breakfast enchiladas (also assembled the night before) with guac at later in the morning, but a breakfast nibble kind of takes the edge off of “performing” for every meal.
Telco Lady JD
I would love to hear it too!
I usually do a breakfast casserole (eggs, bread, sausage, sauteed peppers, cheese) that I put in the oven on Christmas morning after prepping it the night before…. But we often host a big group and the sides are what really take over my morning.
Anonymous
Drinks and apps or dessert only are fine as long as your guests know exactly what to expect and you time the gathering appropriately (I.e., 6-7:30 for apps only and after 8 for dessert). Don’t expect or pressure people to stay for too long if there will only be appetizers. Perhaps be prepared to suggest going out or ordering in if you are having a fabulous time.
Anon
What is an appropriate time for apps and drinks only (or I guess times to avoid where people would expect dinner)?
Anonymous
I think on a Friday, 6-7:30. I’d start earlier on a weekend — 5:30ish. And the invitation should be clear no matter what the time.
Anon In-House Empt Lawyer
I live in the suburbs and most of my friends/family friends are literally a whole family (wives/husbands/kids get along) so we invite 1-2+ families over for dinner – sometimes planned a few weeks ahead, often spur of the moment. We usually have a plan for food by the day-of, but the plan is usually some sort of takeout that we doordash once everyone’s there and split the bill (and actually as I say that… often the case that people are coming/going to grab a kid from a practice, etc., so also pretty loose on attendance). House does not need to be clean, and adults are usually in comfy pants and no makeup. Lower standards = more fun.
Tea/Coffee
YMMV but our n home socializing always involves kids (if we want no kids, we have to leave the house lol). And since 2020 (we bubbled with another family and hosted weekly dinners) I’ve gotten waaay more comfortable with super casual meals. If you’re not into it, that’s cool, but we’re a lot less likely to invite you over. Neighborhood friends are the best for this. We rarely get together with more than a few hours notice and it’s usually like, hey WE were going to grill tonight too! Let’s grill together!
Nothing fancy and nobody cleans their house first. It’s what everyone wants, you just have to break the seal
Anon
Fun apps, drinks, baked ziti.
Anon
I like to host. I do oven stuff – roast pork or roast chicken or lasagna – and easy sides like a green salad, roast potatoes, roast asparagus. I might make some brownies earlier in the day and have some French vanilla ice cream in the freezer. That’s it.
People will ask if they can bring anything. Say yes. If they want to bring a salad or dessert that is usually the easiest. One of my friends reliably brings some cheese and I always keep some Mary’s seeded crackers around so that’s good.
I have a habit of always having Diet Coke and La Croix in my fridge, and that in addition to whatever wine I’m serving is enough to keep everyone happy.
Serve everything family style and have fun. For a large group I’ve even had people dish up on the kitchen and take their plates to the table, buffet style. Everyone will be in the kitchen anyway so it always works.
Focus on causal and not too formal. Nothing has to match. You don’t have to do “courses.” Just make it a family meal + extra servings and you’ll be fine.
Anon
Costco! They have a salmon dish that is already seasoned in the cooler section. It serves 4 and all you have to do is take off the plastic top and bake it. I usually add Costco mashed potatoes , some kind of roll, and a vegetable (usually salad in summer and roasted in winter) and am all set for company dinner!
If you don’t like salmon, their rotisserie chicken works too. Or if you cook at all, roasted chicken is easy and mostly hands free.
Anonymous
I’ve always been taught that time of day guides what food to serve. Of course the times might vary by location so maybe that “rule” is not as helpful as my mother thought it was; my NYC friends don’t eat dinner until 9, by suburban friends eat around 6, so ymmv. Personally, if I’m having people over between 5 and 8 pm then I would serve a simple dinner like make your own tacos, pulled pork sandwiches, an easy pasta, or similar. If I’m having people over after 8 then I’d have like a cheese board and I’d let them know that ahead of time so they can have dinner before they come over. Also most of my friends bring food so if I plan a full dinner there is wayyyy too much food left over.
DeepSouth
First, anyone coming is your friend. They are going to be glad to see you and appreciate whatever the effort is. Judge yourself with the same set of eyes. No one who comes over is coming to snoop in your house/eat a meal prepared by a Michelin chef. If you’re comfortable with them in your home, they will be comfortable there.
Make sure there’s an easy place for people to pour their own drinks — beer/wine/lacroix is plenty, unless you just want cocktails.
I love a roast chicken — put it on a big jelly roll sheet pan. Put a lemon and one of those packets of fresh rosemary from the grocery store in the cavity and rub the skin with a lot of salt and pepper. Roast at 425 for 15 minutes per pound. Add Brussels sprouts, carrots, parsnips, potatoes to the pan for the last hour and it’s a perfect dinner that looks and smells fancy with little effort.
You can do a pot of soup with good bread, make a cheese board and add some veggies and hummus. Everyone will be satisfied.
Chrissy Teigen’s chicken satay is FANTASTIC, relatively easy and easy to eat hot or cold. Do that and make salad.
By the third time you have people over, you’ll realize how much fun it is and how you don’t need to stress.
Have fun!
Anon
Apps are harder than a meal. My formula is chips with drinks (thanks Ina), two things for a main (salad and roast chicken is my favorite and easy), ice cream for dessert. Super simple and feels fancy.
Anonymous
Ladies, at the very ripe age of 39, I threw my back out last Weds picking up a shoe from my front entry hall. I was initially sore but okay, then the next day completely immobile. Took two days of full on bedrest but I began to finally be able to walk a little bit yesterday. I’m so sore, both from the lack of movement but also every other muscle in my body working overtime.
I can’t sneeze without shooting pain. I got my period on Friday and had to figure out how to change tampons while functionally almost paralyzed from the navel to my butt.
My question is this: since I’m making progress (I’ve finally been able to shower!) and also since walking is still painful and driving is out of the question, is there any reason to see a doc? I’m on a steady diet of NSAIDs, ice and heat.
I called my pcp who said to come in, but I asked what she’d be looking for since getting to her office would take me seriously half a day at the rate I’m moving. She said make sure I hadn’t ruptured anything (I’d have to go to another building and get a scan) and prescribe muscle relaxers if appropriate and refer to PT.
I’m weighing if I should bother. I didn’t slip a disc. I did twist funny and then overcompensate all day instead of lay down. I don’t know that I need muscle relaxers (do I?) and I don’t need a referral for PT- I can just go.
Thoughts? I think I run a higher risk of hurting myself schlepping over to the doctor (and lab) than if I just keep resting, stretching, and moving when possible, until I can get to PT.
My husband just wants to see me better and will take me if I want to go, but thinks it will be a lot for me (I can’t sit without pain and it’s a 10 minute drive), but is also concerned with how immobile I’ve been.
I hope none of you have been here but if you have, advise welcome!
Anonymous
Omg go to the doctor
Anonymous
I’ve definitely been here! And once you’ve done this, it happens again more easily. For this time – if your doctor is willing to prescribe muscle relaxants, get them! Basically your body is protecting the injury by clenching all the muscles around it. They knock me out for a day, but I’m mobile after that.
For next time, I find heat, salon pas patches (or any other menthol/camphor patch; these are just available by the truckload at Costco!) and naproxen round the clock for 24 hours prevents the muscle clenching from really setting in. Ice just makes it worse for me.
anonymous
Keep up with the naproxen and see if your doc can call in a script for the muscle relaxer. I’ve thrown out my back before and rest, heat and time were the only things that helped. If you don’t feel improvement, then see about going into the doctor’s office.
Agree with the post above, that this may happen again so definitely be careful. I’ve had it happen a couple of times afterwards. Once I went in for x-rays and they came back normal, so it was just a pulled muscle.
Once I started exercising and working on my core muscles, that helped with back issues. The old bend with your knees advice is absolutely correct.
Hope you feel better soon!
Anonymous
Thanks, ladies! This is the second time it has happened but the first time didn’t render me i mobile and was because I did something dumb. I think I should have put myself on immediate Advil & pain patch but didn’t. Sigh. I did on day 2 but as you pointed out it’s too late by then.
Husband and I already had the “we’re not getting any younger” talk and I committed to proactively strengthening my back- probably PT for a bit then just general strength.
Anon
No advice (I personally would probably do what you’re doing, but I agree that going to the doctor might be prudent). However, I have concerns about “my husband just wants to see me better”, depending on the dynamics involved. If your husband just wants to see you better so you can resume your normal household duties, that is concerning. If he wants to see you better purely out of love and caring, I would give more weight to his feelings.
I once had a broken finger and was having discomfort with the bandages. My husband grew tired of me complaining and tried to insist I go back to the doctor early so he wouldn’t have to listen to my complaints. In reality, there was no medical reason for an extra office visit, I was busy with work, the surgeon’s office was far away, and I had a visit scheduled for 3 days later anyway. I told him directly that part of his role was to listen to my complaints and I would not be inconveniencing myself just because he didn’t want to.
Anonymous
OP here, and I think you read more into that than there was. It’s in the spirit of “whatever you think will help you heal” and not “just hurry up and get better!”
DH has been a saint. And we are parked outside urgent care waiting now since my pcp won’t prescribe muscle relaxants over the phone but agrees I need them and has no spots until Weds. :)
Anon
How do you know you didn’t slip a disc. You say that so definitely. Go to the doctor.
Anonymous
+1 – my husband a disc at the ripe old age of 25. It’s been a recurring problem for him for the last 20 years now. He did not see anyone right away (bc 25…). Go now. Make sure. And start PT to get stronger. Back issues are the worst.
Anon
This happened to me for the first time in my mid-thirties, and periodically happens again. I have tried various things over the years, including muscle relaxers and chiropractic, to treat my back when it “goes out.” What helps the most, honestly, is getting plenty of rest, and using an OTC TENS device on the worst area 15 minutes out of every hour, along with alternating cold and warm packs, and OTC anti-inflammatories (Aleve is easier on my stomach than Advil). When my back goes out, it’s usually better after 3-4 days, and the more I try to do during that time, the longer the recovery takes. So take time to rest – meaning lying down or reclining in a comfortable chair/couch, and not lifting anything heavy, doing a lot of picking up, or exercising. I hate the way muscle relaxers make me feel – I become Molly Ringwald’s older sister in 16 Candles, loopy AF at her own wedding – and so I do not take them even if they’re prescribed to me. I haven’t called or visited my doctor after the first incident, and I don’t go to the chiropractor unless it’s not substantially better after three days (which has only happened once).
As someone else said, once this happens once, it’s more likely to happen again. I actually have a “kit” in my bathroom with my TENS device, microwaveable warm packs, and an ice bag so that I can grab things easily when back starts acting up. Core strength helps keep your back stable, but nothing I have done over the past 15 or so years has helped me completely avoid these incidents. Good luck and go get some rest!
Anon
Get the drugs!
Anon
Skip the PCP. Go straight to the orthopedic surgeon. That is if your insurance allows.
Anon
You must have some truly awesome insurance or a lot of money to spend on healthcare, if you’d go straight to a surgeon like that.
Anon
Omg surgery is a last resort. You get one chance at back surgery. You’d better really need it if you do it.
Repeat back surgeries are the road to hell.
Cat
I would go to the doctor! Even if you’re lying down in the back seat of the car to get there.
Anon
A lot of orthopedic practices reserve walk-in hours each day. I would start there.
Anonymous
OP here. Following up for anyone interested.
Called pcp back, she agreed I need drugs but wouldn’t prescribe without an in person which she could do today. DH drove me to urgent care, was told it was shocking I managed to get in there because my entire back is locked up. Ruled out spine issues. Got a bag of drugs. Took the afternoon off work so I could start the muscle relaxants and am resting in bed where I was told to stay until I can move more. DH is making me a sandwich. My friend is running the kids to their after school activities later today so DH can be home and make dinner. Fingers crossed things are better tmw :).
Anonymous
Once you can move, talk to your pcp about seeing a physio that specializes in backs. Learning exercises with her is what helped me the most and I can now usually get it back in place after a day or so
Anon
Chiropractor.
CantDecide
Hi Hive — This blazer (https://www.meandem.com/us/statement-check-boyfriend-blazer-grey-yellow-navy-cream) caught my eye. I’m a fairly senior woman in finance, and I can’t decide if this blazer would be fashionably cool to wear to work or way too Caddyshack. Thanks!
Anonymous
I was prepared to like this but honestly I don’t. Its best hope is irony and I don’t think even the model is pulling it off well, so I don’t see it playing well in the wild. For me, the color scheme is too muted, the pattern is too obvious, and it does not feel like a fall look. Perhaps use it as inspiration to look for an exciting blazer that doesn’t leave you hesitant the way this one does.
Anne-on
I like it! I do think that oversized blazers need to be impeccably tailored or you end up looking sloppy/like you’re playing dress up. If you know the brand works for you and if you have a good tailor I’d go for it!
anon
Haha yes to the dress up comment. I was just in court and a young woman was wearing beautifully tailored pants with an oversized blazer. She looked like she was wearing her dad’s blazer.
An.On.
Life’s too short not to wear the blazers that make you happy.
Ribena
Fashionably cool – as long as you get it with a perfect fit (around the shoulders)
Anon
Also a fairly senior woman in finance. I think you could make it work but it has to be well tailored and styled. Nothing about it makes me say it’s inherently inappropriate.
Anon
Caddyshack
Marketiere
This dress is a dream. It’s absolutely gorgeous.
Anon
I hate that they styled it with white shoes! It’s not a good sign for how easily wearable this will be. I’d love it in a darker color.
AIMS
I have a skirt in this silhouette and color and it’s surprisingly easy to wear with many colors. I tend to do brown shoes or black tights and black shoes. I used to also wear with fuchsia suede heels. I think if it’s a heavier fabric (mine is wool), it doesn’t come across as summery.
Anonymous
it comes in navy too she says
Wheels
Agreed! So beautiful.
plague
Someone please tell me everything will be okay. I just found out I have bed bugs. I’m pretty confident I got them on a business trip. PSA: before your belongings touch the floor of your hotel room make sure you check the seams of the mattress with a flashlight and look for yellowish specks, don’t just look at the top of the mattress for dark spots. I live alone in a rented condo. I have a big wardrobe with lots of nice fabrics, shoes, purses, coats etc. that can’t go in the dryer. I finally felt like I built up a wardrobe I love and now a good amount of it has to go in the trash. Replacing my necessary items will be so expensive. I’m already hemorrhaging money on cleaning supplies and haven’t even gotten to the exterminator fees yet. It’s only been one day and I’m exhausted. I’ve done laundry nonstop and barely made a dent. I can’t sleep because I’m dreaming of bugs crawling on me. I’m also really struggling with the emotional side of this. I no longer feel comfortable or safe in my own home. I’m surrounded by trash bags, it reeks of rubbing alcohol, and every time I go to the bathroom or change over the laundry it’s a whole decontamination process. Until my lease ends in the spring I’ll be living in fear that the bugs will come back. I just feel really alone right now. I’m single, my parents happen to be out of the country for a few weeks, and it all falls to me to deal with this. Has anyone dealt with this and gotten through it unscathed? I’m really struggling to accept that at a minimum the next two months of my life will be like this.
Cb
Oh I’m so sorry, I had a bedbug scare and spent an awful 48 hours freaking out and panic spiralling. I’d prioritise getting the exterminator in ASAP – stop doing laundry until you know you’ve got them at the source. Just box stuff up.
Anonymous
my older daughter brought them home from the dorms. We paid the extremely expensive exterminator fee to deal with them, but I think if you can get a similar chemical, you can treat them on your own. The nice thing about the exterminator is they guarantee that they won’t come back for a certain amount of time or they will treat for free again. We dried everything that could go in the dryer and bagged up other items and had them treated. The exterminator also suggested using a steamer on things that couldn’t be dried. The goal is to kill them with heat.
Anon 2.0
Before you trash the clothing, I’d put it in the dryer on high. If it doesn’t survive the heat, you are back to square one but some things may be salvageable that you didn’t expect to survive.
I am sorry you are going thru this. I am someone who likes to thrift store shop and your post is definitely a wakeup call for me to be more careful with the items I buy. I don’t always launder stuff the moment I get home but I think I will get a new system in place.
OP
I realize I didn’t specify- the exterminator is coming today. I’ve had random itching for a month and this weekend saw bite marks on my skin. Then I found eggs on my mattress cover (barf) so chances are high it’s bed bugs. I haven’t cleaned any clothes hanging in my closet yet. I’ve been working on towels, bathmats, random clothes that were outside my bedroom, and clothing that was already in my bathroom hamper. I have a list of questions for the exterminator about how to treat items that can’t go in the dryer, which pieces of furniture need to be treated, how to clean my car, etc. I haven’t thrown anything out yet aside from clothing on its last legs that I should’ve gotten rid of anyway. If they say an item has to go in the dryer I’ll try that first then throw it out if it’s ruined. I’m especially bummed because I just did a lot of “back to school shopping” and splurged on nice shoes and cashmere sweaters. It’s good to hear from other commenters that the exterminator could treat certain items without a dryer though.
Cat
I thought freezing also worked to kill bugs, so don’t just throw things out unnecessarily without investigating.
OP
I plan to ask the exterminator about freezing. I’d absolutely prioritize my freezer space for delicate sweaters over Trader Joes gyoza.
Anonymous
You can also probably safely heat treat your cashmere and other wool sweaters if they are dry when you put them in the dryer. Wool tends to shrink and felt if it is wet and soapy, but dry wool fibers seem fairly impervious to heat. At least I have had success with this method when we had bed bugs. You can also have them dry cleaned.
Anon
Freezing doesn’t work as well as heat for bed bugs. It basically pauses their reproductive cycle but doesn’t necessarily kill bugs that are already alive. We had bed bugs in 2015 and our exterminator strongly discouraged freezing. We did a heat treatment of our master bedroom (cost about $1k but we got reimbursed by the hotel where we got them and it was easy peasy for us) and we use the dryer as a preventative measure after travel. Delicate clothes shouldn’t be damaged by the dryer if they’re already dry when they go in.
Anonymous
Omg you gotta chill. Idk why you’d throw things in the trash or assume this will take 2 months. It’s bed bugs not the plague you will be fine!
Anon
How on earth do you think posting this is helpful in any way?
Anonymous
It will be okay! Please don’t throw anything out or do any treatment until you talk to an exterminator. They can really treat a lot of things. We have had them 2x (NYC apartment buildings) and also encountered them at a hotel, although we didn’t bring them home that time. My husband is wildly allergic to them (I don’t react at all as far as we can tell), so we have discovered them early each time. But the treatments have gotten so much better. The most recent time, when the infestation came from a neighbor, we caught it early and were paying for an exterminator ourself. He didn’t ask us to heat-treat any of our clothing/stuff other than what was stored under the bed. He was also able to treat all of our books and stuff that was stored on our bedside tables (I just had to put them in a trash bag and he sprayed them with something), the upholstered headboard, etc. We encased our mattress and kept it. They are really kind of easy to kill if you can find them – they move slowly and tend to stay within a few feet of the food source (sleeping human). The first time we had them we were living in a 1 bedroom apartment and just about all of our worldly possessions were within 12 feet of our bed. We just had the very crappy exterminator our cheap landlord would pay for and we still managed to get rid of them with persistent laundry. I know it can be incredibly anxiety producing but at the end of the day, they are basically harmless little bugs that have been annoying people for centuries. They don’t carry or cause disease, and while the bites can be maddeningly itchy, they are not going to hurt your health. You will get through this! Just focus on what you need to do to get through today.
Anonymous
PS – theoretically you can’t feel them crawling on you, so I used to remind myself of that when I was having trouble sleeping. Whatever I was feeling, it wasn’t a bed bug.
OP
Thank you for the reassurance! I only know one person who’s had them so I haven’t heard many survival stories. Glad to hear that the treatment options these days are more effective.
Anonymous
It will be ok! I promise. I, like almost everyone else in NYC, have also had bed bugs. It will be a stressful week or so and then it will become a funny story. We completely eradicated them in one go. This is so common, it’s not embarrassing, it’s just annoying and really stressful to deal with in the first few cleaning/bagging days.
I have some practical tips to address some of your particular pain points:
1. For nice shoes, fabrics, bags, etc. that can’t go in the dryer, Google around to see if there’s a service that can handle that for you. In NYC there are services that are basically like bed-bug specific dry cleaners – they come, they pick up all of your fancier items, they heat treat them the way they do at a dry cleaner, and they bring them back to you. It’s on the pricier side, but good for piece of mind.
2. If that’s not an option, most bags and shoes can be treated with rubbing alcohol. For nicer clothes, you don’t need to heat treat very long to eliminate the bed bugs and they likely could withstand a short spin in the dryer (not washer) to treat them.
3. You don’t need to decontaminate your bathroom each time you go in there unless it’s carpeted or has lots of fabric for some unknown reason. Bed bugs want to be cozy – they live on beds, couches, rugs, etc. Highly unlikely they will take up residence in there.
4. For laundry, I had a set of “clean clothes” that I exclusively used when dealing with the laundry. When I came up from our basement, I would change in our wooden hallway, bag the clothes immediately, and then change into my “house clothes.”
5. For anything that truly can’t be treated with rubbing alcohol or heat, you can use the plastic bag method. Bag it, seal it, and don’t open it for at least a year.
Good luck!
Anan
We’ve gone through this and I had much of the same feelings and stress.
First of all- bed bugs are not a statement on your cleanliness. They are persistent survivors.
Get the exterminator to come in. We thought we could google solutions, but the exterminator was the only thing that gave us peace of mind. A good exterminator will come back if you find more. We had to move into a hotel overnight while they treated.
Good luck!
Anon
Hugs to you! I moved into a new apartment that was infested with fleas. I know the feeling that home isn’t safe. Try taking a walk or doing some deep breathing to help the anxiety pass. Remember, you aren’t the first to have bedbugs and won’t be the last. That’s what exterminators are there for!
Anon
No specific advice on bed bugs but I just want to recognize how hard it is to deal with things like this on your own, without anyone to help with the actual work of it or the decision making. I went through something similar with moths and it was awful. You’ll get through it and your home will feel like home again! It will end up okay!
Veronica Mars
Having survived bedbugs, one tip for you is to take anything that would be damaged by high heat (silks, perfume bottles, purses, etc) and individually quarantining and wrapping the items (i.e. plastic bins, plastic garment bags, etc). Seal and set aside. Then I’d recommend a heat treatment where they heat the apartment totally to kill the bugs. It’s expensive but you can keep all your current things (mattress, rugs, etc). Then you can do one of two things. I live in a hot climate so I waited until the summer and put the eligible decontamination bins in the trunk of my car with a temp. That worked well for my silks without damaging them. For everything else (perfume bottles), I tackled in the bathtub and made sure they were clean. One more tip– if they’re still biting you at night, which is so, so gross consider getting one of those sleeping bag liners and treating it with Permetherin. That can help protect your whole body from bites.
Anon
Ask your exterminator about heat treatments. We had bed bugs in 2015 and paid the exterminator to do a heat treatment on our master bedroom and it was zero work for us – no bagging, disinfecting, washing, etc. They just came to our house and set up heat lamps to get our bedroom really hot (120+ degrees) to kill everything. We had to leave the house for about 8 or 10 hours I think, but that was literally the only thing we had to do. Bed bugs tend to stay near where people sleep so our exterminator did not see any need to treat our living rooms, dining area or guest bedroom. It worked perfectly. Only downside is that it was not cheap ($1k) but we were able to get reimbursed by the hotel where we got them. I would never go to the effort of washing and bagging everything if I could afford a heat treatment.
anon
Breathe. So many people have had bed bugs, myself included. It’s almost inevitable. It has no bearing on how clean you are as a person, you might temporarily feel uncomfortable but you aren’t unsafe in your own home, and once they’re eradicated you will feel comfortable in your home pretty quickly.
Step 1 is to get an exterminator ASAP. They’re expensive, but they work wonders. And, they work wonders QUICKLY. We were back to normal a day or two after the exterminators left.
Notify your landlord or apartment building. You may have gotten them on a business trip but you may have also gotten them from neighbors. My current landlord actually covers the exterminator fee.
You don’t need to trash any clothing! Throw everything that can be dried in the drier and bag everything else.
This won’t take 2 months. Literally in a week from now (if the exterminator comes ASAP) things will be more or less normal (minus the things still bagged).
Aside from laundry/exterminator I don’t recall needing to spend money on cleaning supplies or an intense cleaning or decon process.
Anon
You’ll be ok.
It’s awful but it’s manageable. Lots of good advice but also check hard surfaces: we had them living in the crevices of the bedside drawers and frame of a picture hanging above the bed.They are unlikely to be living in your clothes and hand bags and more likely to be around your bed.
Also be careful not to expose yourself to too much fumigation.
anon
Has anyone found stylish options for a Life Alert like service for their parents? Mom, mid-60s so she thinks that she is way too young for Life Alert, has had a few incidents as of late (falls + out of control BP incidents). I’m thinking my best option is to get her an Apple Watch, but has anyone found other alternatives that are palatable to the “yes, I convinced my mom to get life alert when she was not that much older than me age wise, but I’m in much better shape” crowd?
Anon In-House Empt Lawyer
Would she prefer a home device (instead of or in addition to a wearable)? Wearable is likely the best if she’ll wear it, but maybe having an Alexa/etc. would be a helpful addition?
anonchicago
My mom and ILs have Apple Watches for this exact reason. They’re all late 60s-mid 70s. If you fall you can place an emergency call quite easily. Also, if anything happens and you’re at home connected to wifi, you can call or text someone regardless if you have the data plan or not.
I have an Apple Watch and slipped on some ice about a year ago, and can attest that the Apple Watch fall detection works very well. The watch went off and forced me to acknowledge that I was ok, otherwise it would automatically call emergency services after a designated amount of time.
Mrs. Jones
+1 My aunt fell and her Apple Watch called 911 and texted relatives for her.
Cat
+2 to the Apple Watch.
Anonymous
The Apple Watch only works if they wear it all the time, but I guess that’s true with a regular medical alert device too. I certainly wouldn’t want to wear my watch around the house. So annoying.
Anonymous
Be gentle. I know you think your clean eating and yoga are the reason you haven’t fallen, and your mother’s mashed potato habit is the reason she has, but health is a lot about genetics and this could be you sooner than you think. Signed — Someone whose parents did not take care of themselves the way you think they should have and have effectively zero health conditions because of our genetics
Tiana
This is uncalled for.
No Face
This comment seems out of nowhere.
Cat
I think OP is channeling her mom’s voice with that quote, though confusing. As in, mom’s perspective is “when my parents and peers were getting Life Alert, they were old and decrepit, not like me who’s in good shape!” but really, mom could use a backup plan for safety.
anon
OP here. That is exactly what I meant.
Anonymous
You’re right. I misread.
anon
Yes, genetics and luck play a huge role in how we age, but so do our habits. I’m currently watching one aunt in her 60s become almost homebound while watching my uncles in their mid 70s go on 30 mile bike rides 3x a week…
Maggie
Apple Watch with cellular service. We got my dad one when he was waiting for his lung transplant and tethered to his oxygen – he was bad about carrying his phone with him and had a couple scares when he had issues with the tank. It was a nice backup that let my mom feel safer leaving him at home alone.
Anon
My Apple watch tells me that I am falling quite regularly when I am not. You may end up with unnecessary interruptions because of this.
Anonymous
Apple Watch or an Alexa. You can set them to call 911 or even you. My kids use it in place of a home phone when left alone. “Alexa, call mom!”
Chill
Anyone have advice for how to stay “chill” during the early stages of a relationship? Seeing a new guy, we met organically (which is weird in and of itself, as most of my past relationships have come from apps) and he has so much potential – like have not dated someone that seems this compatible in years. But I need to obviously not come off too strong. Advice?
Anon
Chill out. Don’t get your hopes up and don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If you’re not exclusive, plan another date for this weekend. Get back on the apps and keep in mind there are other decent men out there! Also, be sure to continue being you. Keep up with your hobbies, friends, family etc. Don’t let him take up too much of your mental and physical space.
As far as not coming off too strong, obviously don’t text him everyday unless he initiates. Don’t be free both Friday and Saturday night. Don’t drop your life for him. Others will say it’s playing games but it’s also just keeping your own emotions in check so you don’t get too excited about him early on although it is fun!
Senior Attorney
I agree with all this. It’s super hard but if he likes you and wants to be with you, he will make it happen. Don’t chase him. It’s great to show interest but don’t chase.
Anonymous
It is not weird to meet someone and then start dating. It is weird to think you are more connected with someone you’ve texted on an app than you are with your last Uber driver.
Anonymous
Talk about the present and the two of you. Demonstrate interest in the next date, but don’t start making plans for your future beyond the next date, don’t talk of all the people in your world he will/must meet. Ask a lot of questions about his present and past and immediate plans, but not about his 10-year plan or what he wants very long-term. If he mentions that he is dating others, treat it as what is expected versus a surprise or a problem. Addressing that stuff will come if it sticks for a bit, but I have had very good success recently creating what has been described as a “low-stakes good time” environment on early dates that have kept them coming back.
Anon
I don’t know, I don’t think it’s weird to ask somebody you’ve recently started dating what their long term plans are. Not in a “How are you going to fit me into them?” kind of way, but it’s a big part of compatibility.
Anja
A nice low-key question, hopefully. When co-workers are driving somewhere as a group (say, a trip down to a city an hour away, done in a company vehicle driven by a member of the group), who picks the music? Assume no one wants anything offensive or seriously objectionable.
Cat
Either no music, seniormost person if applicable, or if not, the driver.
Anecdata
in my ideal world, the front seat passenger should (although the driver probably offers first: “here, you’re in charge of music”). I love it when my “copilot” takes on the running-the-car stuff (cf. navigation, making sure the backseat passengers are getting enough heat/ac)
Anon
No music normally. People talk. But if there were music I’d say the driver gets to choose.
Anon
I’d personally prefer no music, but would defer to a vote of the people involved.
Anonymous
Oh, dear. Please try to think of something to talk about.
Anonymous
The driver is the captain of the ship, and that includes the radio. I recommend silence though.
Senior Attorney
+1
anon
I prefer podcasts for this. Musical taste varies so widely, and with podcasts no one feels like they need to force a conversation. Download a few different options in advance (science, history, interview with a well-liked celebrity) then do an informal poll once you’re in the car. We do this with multi-gen family car rides.
Anon
I find podcasts infinitely more annoying than music.
Anonymous
Oh, please no podcasts. I cannot STAND podcasts and would rather listen to the most awful music.
Anon
NOOOO podcasts are so much worse than music! Especially if it’s something intellectual and then you’re supposed to think of something intelligent to say about it. Music you can just nod your head and say “great song.”
Cat
please please please no podcasts.
LaurenB
That would seem odd to be in a car with coworkers and listen to a podcast and not talk / interact.
Anonymous
The driver.
Clementine
I also say front seat passenger (who is generally also the most senior).
Funny story on this – there’s an ongoing project requiring travel where a specific colleague drives and for various reasons (like we all need to listen on a call) plugs her iPhone into the car. Every. Time. It defaults to autoplaying the soundtrack of Les Miserables. And you know, it’s something that… it’s just so absurd. And yes, this has happened 3-4 times that I can think of.
Anon
Mine always plays A-Punk by Vampire Weekend, because that’s the first song alphabetically.
BeenThatGuy
My phone always defaults to playing In Da Club by 50 Cent (i have zero idea why and zero idea how to make it stop). I never connect when my boss is in my car because of this!
Anonymous
My former boss’s phone once started playing a violent hip-hop song in court during a sentencing. I suppose this is why most courts ban phones.
anon
So funny! Mine is Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. I can’t ever figure out why / how to stop it, but even my 4 year old knows the song at this point. I don’t think I’ve downloaded a song on any apple device since the advent of Pandora (and now Spotify), so maybe the better part of a decade, so I seriously don’t know how that came to be.
anon
My phone also defaults to Bad Romance!
Anonymous
Does it play alphabetically by artist name?
umm
A group of colleagues driving one hour together? You talk to one another.
Anon
+1 used to have to do this often enough. The radio was for sure on in the background but we would just chat.
Anon
I am considering investing in a clutch/evening purse. Up to $1K but I would like it to be something that is timeless so that I can use it for a very long time. Generally I am a person who wears a lot of colors and gold jewelry.
Any recommendations?
Anne-on
Fun! I’m pretty classic in my bag tastes so I’d vote for something from Aspinal of London (their clutches are around ~500?). If you are ok going over that Launer of london lets you customize the colors in lots of different ways to make it very personal!
Anon
Do you like antiquing or consignment shopping? Or Etsy? I have a dozen vintage evening bags in every imaginable color (my favorite is a gold brocade with jewel tone berries in the fabric – goes with everything and unique!) that I’ve either inherited or picked up for $20 or less. Better for the environment! And it’s not like evening bags are roughly used, so they’re perfect to pick up vintage.
Anon
OP Here.I don’t mind consignment items but I don’t want to own more than one. I am open to buying used.
anon
I have a super-simple DKNY silk rectangle clutch in black from the late 90s. It’s small but fits a cell phone, lipstick, a little makeup, and since it’s black and unobtrusive, it goes to pretty much all events except summer weddings where I am wearing lighter colors. Suggest something equally versatile! You will get a ton of wear out of something versatile but not too flashy.
anon
Cult gaia is the brand that has struck me as something fun, but still with a relatively timeless element to it. The other brand i like the look of is alexis bittar, they have a fun twisted handle clutch.
A
Bottega knot clutch.
A.
I’m leaving a week from tomorrow for a quick trip to Iceland with my spouse — we’re there Wednesday morning through Saturday afternoon. We haven’t traveled internationally in a *long* time and this trip has snuck up on us! We have an itinerary hammered out thanks to our super-helpful travel agent and I’ve G00gled packing lists, but…what Travel 101 things should I keep in mind? Ex: cozy cardigan and hand cream for the plane, make a copy of my passport…what else?
Anon
Make sure you have cash on hand and inform you credit cards that you will be overseas. Also make sure you have a converter if needed, portable battery, and comfortable earbuds for the plane.
Anon
+1 you need a converter for Iceland. I loved my trip there! Definitely pack layers and a good waterproof jacket that accomodates a fleece underneath. The weather can drastically vary even in 1 day.
Cat
FWIW you probably only need plug adapters, not a voltage converter. Modern electronics work on either voltage (phones, laptops, etc).
Voltage converters are pretty much useless IMHO because the things that would need them are too strong to use them. (Think hair dryers.)
Anon
The world is pretty much cash-less at this point, I don’t think you should go get cash just for this.
Anon
+1 haven’t been to Iceland in years but avoided getting cash on our last three Europe trips. Also even if you do need some cash it’s generally better to get it from a local ATM than to exchange money in the US before the trip.
Anon
I didn’t use cash anywhere in Iceland in 2017. Make sure you bring a credit card that doesn’t charge international transaction fees, and you’re good to go.
Anon
Cash is necessary for tips like for someone who helps with your luggage, a tip for the hotel maids, etc. Just get $20-$30 worth of small bills.
Senior Attorney
Please don’t import tipping culture to Iceland, where everybody is paid a living wage and it’s not customary or expected.
Anon
Europe generally has much less of a tipping culture than the US. Tips are not expected the way they are here.
Anon
I always err on the side of caution. I was in Sweden with a friend and my credit cards weren’t working. I needed to borrow cash.
Anon
Sure, you should carry a debit card in case you have a problem with your credit card. But there’s no need to get cash in advance because odds are good you won’t need it. Fwiw, your card may have stopped working if you didn’t notify your credit card company in advance about the travel, although these days most credit cards no longer require notification.
Minnie Beebe
I travel with a Mophie powerbank and a single plug adapter. I charge the Mophie via the adapter/wall plug and then charge devices from the Mophie.
Also, is notifying credit card companies you’ll be out of country a thing that people do? I don’t think I’ve ever done this, and have never once had an issue with overseas purchases. I *do* register for international calling/etc with Verizon- cost $10/day. Not cheap, but I don’t want to have to mess with SIM cards and such.
I recently traveled to Scotland (I know, not Iceland) and spent exactly zero pounds in cash for the whole week we were there. EVERYTHING was contactless payment– card or Apple Pay. I’d recommend not worrying about cash unless you’re absolutely certain you’ll need it.
Anon
Notifying credit card companies about international travel was a thing you had to do until fairly recently, and if you didn’t do it you’d run the risk of your card getting locked. But I think it’s no longer necessary, at least with the high value travel-themed credit cards. I recently called Chase to tell them about upcoming international travel and they told me I didn’t need to call in the future. On the other hand my husband’s debit card just (three months ago) got frozen because he tried to get cash out of an ATM in Puerto Rico…which isn’t even outside the US. He was p1ssed.
Anon
Yep, same experience here. I actually got a pre-emptive email from my credit card company last time I bought international tickets telling me I didn’t need to bother calling them.
AIMS
Bring granola bars you like for snacks.
Actually, check what the food situation is on your flight. We recently did a cross country flight and the food options on the plane and at the airport were dismal. I wished I had thought to bring stuff I actually want to eat like a good sandwich and some strawberries or whatever.
Anon
Trans-atlantic flights normally have very decent food, even in economy class. But IcelandAir is an exception to that. I don’t think they give you free food.
Anon
Guafeisen, Tylenol, and COVID tests. You never know.
Anon
we went to Iceland over this exact time frame in 2018 and it was COLD. I was not prepared. Pack more layers than you think you’ll need, and a hat! It was extremely windy and my ears were freezing.
Senior Attorney
Layers, layers, layers. I was extremely to have my silk long underwear when I was there. Also I had both my Uniqlo down vest and down jacket and on occasion layered them both together.
anonchicago
We just got back from Iceland.
You don’t need cash – we used cards for everything. Attire is very casual and be prepared to dress in layers and for rain, similar to the PNW.
Cb
What I’ve found really helpful is buying a USB charger at my destination, with 3-4 USB plugs on it, so we can charge multiple phones/devices at once. I just buy one there rather than the converter one.
Anon
This is a really good idea!
Cat
FWIW, you can buy this at home, and then you just need a single adapter for the country you’re visiting. You don’t need a country-specific USB hub.
Anon
Went in March. This may be a bit more specific to your Iceland trip than overall int’l travel. Hope it helps. Assuming you’re traveling from the US – try to get some sleep on the plane. You’ll be arriving early in the am there. Bring the comfy earbuds, a wrap or something for the plane, snacks, etc.
EVERYWHERE takes cards in Iceland. It’s also a no-tipping culture. When they ask if you want the charge in USD or Icelandic Krona, choose Icelandic. It works out better. Int’l fees for me were super low. I didn’t have a card without fees, unfortunately.
You cannot purchase any cold/headache medicine at grocery stores. You have to go to their pharmacy and ask for it. The hours are strange at a lot of these places. I brought a little pouch with all of the possible meds I could need if I got sick plus bandaids, etc. These things are VERY expensive there.
Speaking of, food and drink are similar to NYC prices. Buy any alcohol that you may want at Duty-Free – it’s much less expensive than at any other store (still exp. compared to US prices). Tangible goods are also expensive.
Layers are VERY important. You definitely need a windproof/waterproof outer layer and boots/shoes. Indoors will be very warm so you’ll want to be able to take some of the clothing off.
Go to Lookoomas for loukoumades. I crave them now.
Try not to overschedule yourself. It’s a lovely country and lots to do but it’s also a really nice place to just be and enjoy.
Senior Attorney
Oh, and don’t eat the fermented shark! I am an adventurous eater but it was all I could do not to spit out the tiny bite I was given. Seriously the nastiest thing I’ve ever had. Gah.
Signed,
I ate it so you don’t have to
Anon
I STG it is just a ploy to make visitors look dumb. SO GROSS.
anon
Not travel 101, but the two times I’ve been to Iceland–it was so, so windy. Good windproof jacket, warm layers for below, scarf, hat, gloves and make sure you have some warm pants too. Enjoy!
pugsnbourbon
I was coincidentally on an Icelandic woman’s instagram this morning and she said this time of year is very wet and windy. So seconding the others’ recs for waterproof layers!
Anon
I’m here now! Absolutely bring a debit card especially if you are renting a car bc the gas stations need a card with a pin any time there is not an attendant and they have limited open hours (same with grocery stores). I need to be able to pump gas early bc of my schedule and am glad I have two back up cards (no one takes AMEX here either FYI).
Anonymous
+1 for all the comments about wind, layers, no tipping culture and mostly cashless. Unless your only cards are AmEx or Diners, in which case, get cash. Visa and MC is fine, but you do need a chip and pin card in Europe.
You cannot get alcohol from a grocery store in Iceland, they have a state monopoly store.
If you are driving – fill up with gas and food when you can, there are not that many places to get if from in Iceland.
Bring your bathing suit – and a hat – for outdoor bathing in the hot springs.
For the plane: backup entertainment (don’t rely on the screen), warm socks and shawl, eye mask, refillable water bottle, your favorite herbal tea, small toothpaste to freshen up.
AIMS
Looking to get some books for a family friend. She is in her 60s, reads a lot and leans toward mysteries by Ruth Ware or Leanne Moriarty but open to most genres. Anyone have anything they really loved lately?
Cb
I wonder if she’d like the Maisie Dobbs series?
An.On.
I’ve enjoyed several Simone St. James – they’ve got ghosts in them, but the crimes are all very human, and very women focused. Sun Down Motel was my favorite.
Anokha
I was skeptical from the description, but I really enjoyed the Ruth Galloway murder series
Senior Attorney
I enjoy those authors and my favorite book of the year so far (though not a mystery) is Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. And everybody I’ve given it to, including my husband, has loved it too.
Marie
Just started this book! I have been looking forward to it based on your and other readers’ reccs!
Vicky Austin
Not lately, but Susie Steiner’s Missing, Presumed and sequels follows a single 40sish Londoner detective! She might enjoy those.
anonymous
If she likes Ruth Ware, she might also like Mary Kubica or Alice Feeney. Second the recommendation for Maisie Dobbs. For a more “cozy” mystery series, I like the Royal Spyness series from Rhys Bowen.
Anan
Not all recent, but I’ve lately very much enjoyed:
The Love of My Life
Northern Spy
A Lovely War
The Firekeeper’s Daughter
Happy and You Know It
News of the World
Anom
First time homeowner here. We have wood siding and I’m noticing that there some soft spots and some spots that need paint (but house as a whole doesn’t need updated exterior paint yet). What kind of vendor do I go to for fixing a few wood siding issues?
Anon
I used a company that specializes in deck maintenance for my brown shingle house. They power washed, replaced a few shingles, and sealed the whole thing.
I did this in the late fall because it was off-season for deck work and they were eager for work.
Anon
I think if you start painting sections, you’re probably going to end up painting the whole house.
Anonymous
We periodically hire a house painter for this. They bring in a carpenter to make repairs, then paint the repairs and spots that need repainting.
Anon
+1
Maggie
We just had our siding done this year – a few sheets replaced, woodpecker holes filled, and painting. Unless your house was painted very recently, assume you’ll be painting at least the entire wall if not the whole thing.
But to answer your question, find someone who specializes in wood siding repair. Unless you’re in an extremely small town there should be a few options. And ask your neighbors.
Anon
Another travel question. I am flying to Europe in a few weeks and for Reasons will have to check a bag. I’ve not checked a bag in 10+ years but I’ve always admired women who get on a plane looking awesome in comfortable but nice outfits and a medium size purse, while I’m schlepping my carry on suitcase plus stuffed longchamp tote.
I’m thinking of trying this! I’m not bringing any electronics other than my phone, and can fit a book, passport, wallet, etc, into my purse but not much else. Is this an insane idea?
Also, if you check a bag, do you document what’s in it just in case? There wont be any valuables but total cost of the clothes plus shoes plus makeup would be quite high.
Cat
I never *only* check a bag. I bring my tote with plane necessities, a small carryon that fits enough for the first 2-3 days of whatever trip I’m on, and then the rest goes in the checked bag!
If you’re determined to go this route, choose a personal item big enough to fit (1) PJs, (2) a change of undies and at least a shirt, and (3) basic makeup and toiletries.
Cat
oh, to answer your question… I mean I guess if you think you’d make an insurance claim? Otherwise waste of time. Airlines will only reimburse you a few hundred $ for your lost belongings, though depending on airline they *will* reimburse for purchases you need to make for a significantly delayed or lost bag…
Senior Attorney
Also your contacts/glasses plus any prescription medication.
Abby
I don’t document what’s in my checked bag. Also, given the possibility of losing your luggage, I would pack your essentials in a carry on to be safe, if not just bringing everything in your carry on. Change of clothes, toiletries, anything you absolutely need if your luggage gets lost. I don’t know right now is the time to check a bag if you don’t have to with everything going on in airlines and airports
Anonymous
Airlines are losing luggage even more frequently than they used to. I’d carry on a weekender or similar with at least PJs, a change of clothes, undies, and toiletries in case your luggage is delayed by 24 hours or so.
anon
While I almost never check a bag, when I do I make sure to have a change of clothes and basic toiletries + a few other necessities (water, snacks, long sleeve layer, phone charger, etc) in my carry on.
Anon
If your luggage gets lost, they’re not reimbursing you for the luxury goods you have in there.
Anonymous
When my luggage was lost I was reimbursed for my Sephora-level makeup and Nordstrom-level work clothes and shoes. It was a lot of $$$ even though no true “luxury” goods were involved. I had to document everything very thoroughly.
OP
This is exactly what I was thinking — no single item is crazy but once you add them all up!
Anon
There’s a maximum that airlines are allowed to reimburse up to, so if it’s going to add up to a lot of money it’s still not worth it. Also airlines get to decide the definition of “lost” so they’re not going to reimburse you if you don’t have your luggage for your trip but you get it back weeks later.
Anonymous
There isn’t a maximum they are “allowed” to reimburse, but they do have maximum amounts that they will reimburse. To get any reimbursement at all you have to document the contents and value. They don’t just have a standard $ amount that they give you, no questions asked, when they lose your luggage.
Anon
Sorry, I meant “have to” not “allowed to.” If you think you’re gonna get more than that out of an airline, then I have a bridge to sell you.
Pep
Apple Air Tag, if you use an iPhone.
Anonymous
My last trip to Europe was so long ago that checking was totally commonplace. Similarly, I nearly always check bags domestically bc nothing is worse than trying to wrangle kids through the airport than trying to wrangle bags and kids. I get that luggage issues happen (and have in fact had my bags lost going to Europe), but I definitely wouldn’t be worried about losing it permanently or having things taken out of it. Carry your wallet, passport, medications, and a change of clothes with you, along with your necessary toiletries (anything you can’t go for 24-48 hours without).
Anon
Get an Apple air tag and put it in your checked luggage. It recently helped my friend get his bag when the destination airport said it was lost but the air tag said it was right there in the building.
Anonymous
Make sure you have basic toiletries (toothbrush, basic makeup), critical prescriptions (incl glasses/contacts) and a change of clothes in your purse/carry on. Its extremely unlikely that your checked bag will be lost completely, but these days delays are pretty common. Anything that you don’t want to be without for a few days, take onboard.
Anon
I think those glamorous people who travel with very little luggage probably have enough at their destination that they can be okay without luggage at all or if they lose a bag.
Anonymous
Yeah the only time I do this is when I’m flying home.
Anonymous
I do this all the time. I’m not
Glamorous I just hate schelpping.
Anon
I go carry-on almost all the time now that my kid is older but when she was a baby and toddler we always checked a giant suitcase and went on the plane with just purses/backpacks. It was not about being glamorous, but more about having my hands free for kid wrangling. Airlines don’t actually lose luggage that frequently (it’s never happened to me) and if they do, you can normally get reimbursed for reasonable costs associated with the loss or delay, so I would just buy new clothes at the destination and seek reimbursement.
Explorette
If I have to check a bag, I plan on it being delayed a few days. So anything that you are absolutely going to need, put in your carryon. Those women might look lovely, but won’t after 2 days in the same clothes! Also, those women might never have travelled before and think this is what you are supposed to do. I personally can’t imagine putting that much faith in an airline.
Aunt Jamesina
Is your flight direct? The only time I’ve had lost luggage was when I had a connection and my first flight was delayed. I always type up a packing list anyway, but the time my bag was lost, United gave me a $1500 allowance to purchase items and the only documentation I needed was the receipts from the items I purchased during my trip. I bring any valuables or medications in my carryon.
Anon
“Hey boss, sorry I’m really only just now coming up online. I was watching the Queen’s funeral with my laptop nominally in my lap.”
Also, after watching all that pomp and circumstance (and wealth and power), I cannot imagine being a colonist deciding to take on all THAT. What chutzpah!