Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 167 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Skinny Print Calf Hair Belt

Coffee Break |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Lands' End Skinny Print Calf Hair Belt | CorporetteHow many belts is too many belts? I rarely wear belts, to be honest, but when I saw this lovely calf hair polka-dotted belt marked to $12 I had to snap it up. Green is trending right now, but this belt is also available in red and blue for $12, and a cheetah print for $29. Lands' End Skinny Print Calf Hair Belt (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Paging Free People Cowl Sweater

    To anon from this morning’s post that recently bought a free people cowl neck sweater – it sounds amazing, where did you get it please? TYIA!

  2. Anonymous

    GUISE. The guy I’ve been seeing just asked me to be his girlfriend this weekend. I’ve been squee-ing (quietly at my desk) all morning.

  3. Reix

    I posted this in the morning post but I guess it is in moderation…

    I just bought a navy suit which has pants on the very tapered/skinny side…. I usually prefer straight leg cuts, so can please anyone tell me this cut is fine and will be around for a while?

    (Or else tell me it was a dumb purchase because they will look dated in no time).

    I included links to the actual blazer and pants in the morning, but I won’t now to avoid moderation.

    • Denveranon

      Your post appeared on the second page of comments. A few people responded. I have the same concern re: tapered leg suits, but I haven’t been contemplating any new suits recently, so haven’t needed to decide what to do on this front.

      • Reix

        Thanks Denveranon! I didn’t know there was a 2nd page of comments!

        Anyway: input welcome (I can still return), and I will try posting links to the actual pieces.

  4. ANP

    Did you go to a Montessori school? If so, I want to hear about it! We’re sending our 4-1/2 year old to Montessori beginning next week and I’m curious to hear others’ experiences. She visited this summer (alas, kids were gone already) and loved it, so we decided to pull the trigger and see how it goes. She’s been in daycare her whole life and has been through a pretty structured preschool process, so this won’t be her first time away from us or anything of that nature. Still, I’m anxious to hear from others who went through this type of school system: pros? Cons? Love or hate? Anything I/we should know in advance?

    • Reix

      My two children attended a Montessori school at kindergarten level, i.e. up to 5 years old, before going to a traditional school for they primary school (sorry, but I am not in the US, and English is obviously not my mother tongue).

      I have nothing but praise for the Montessori system, but every school has a different implementation. So, I believe the actual school is more important than the system, if that makes sense. Children learn a lot and form a lot of good habits. The system allows each child to progress at his or her own path, which I think is invaluable at preschool level (both my children were born towards the end of the year and hence are the youngest in their groups).

      The only con (imo) is having to listen to people who, never having been near any Montessori school, believe Montessori is about letting children do whatever they please and warn you your children will be antisocial because you are sending them to such an evil school. Just smile and dismiss.

    • Hildegarde

      I went to a Montessori school for kindergarten only and loved it. I learned a ton, I thought (and still think) the system is wonderful, and if I have children I will seriously consider sending them to a Montessori school. More specifically, I loved the mix of working at our own pace and doing group activities, and I loved how every lesson felt like a game or puzzle. My parents also loved it for me; I told my mom once that I wished I could have continued at a Montessori school after kindergarten, and she said it was such a good fit for me that if they had known about Montessori grade schools in our city they would have considered sending me there (there is such a school now, but I don’t think it existed when I was starting first grade).

      All that said, my younger brother was in preschool at the same Montessori school where I was in kindergarten, and he did not really like it and did not do well. There just wasn’t enough structure for him (from what my parents have said since then; I don’t really remember this myself), so he would act up and was continually being disruptive. This was not an issue at his previous preschool. Eventually my parents pulled him out of the school, sent him somewhere else, and he is now an upstanding adult citizen, employed, and a generally very nice person.

      So, I loved my experience with the school, my brother did not, and I think it’s just a function of our personalities. Your experience may vary with the teachers in your school or your child’s temperament, but based on my experience I think it’s a great system.

    • AFT

      My then-step-son went to Montessori school for preschool and kindergarten. On the plus side, it was a really warm and welcoming environment, which I think made SS excited to go to school every day. I’m all about building positive associations with school from a very young age, and Montessori was great for that.

      Whether it’s the best education, though, really depends on the kid. SS did better in a more structured environment (like his daycare before Montessori), so I don’t think Montessori was the best fit for him. I think it would be better for a child who has more of a natural interest in doing school work and doesn’t need that extra little nudge.

    • CKB

      My two oldest boys went to a Montessori program for 2 years while we lived in a city that offered the program as part of the public school system.

      Ds#1 – it was an awesome experience (grade 2 & 3). He’s intellectually gifted, and the Montessori program allowed him to go as deep into things he was interested in as he wanted. Because there was a lot of ‘work at your own project at your own pace’ he wasn’t segregated like he was in grade one when the rest of the class was learning to read (he was reading at a grade 4 level at that point). His Montessori class also had a boy with Downs’ Syndrome, and my ds often worked with this boy – they developed a really good friendship. I’m not sure this would have happened in a regular classroom. Anyway, it really worked for him & we were sad that he wasn’t able to continue with the program when we moved.

      Ds#2 – attended for K and grade 1. Kinder was OK for him. Overall a good experience. However, grade 1 was a disaster. He has rather severe inattentive ADHD with some PPD tendencies (along with a high IQ – his ed psych that did the testing said the had never seen someone with quite the same constellation of strengths & weaknesses) that were diagnosed the summer after grade one (testing was prompted by all the issues he had during that year). Because of the undiagnosed/unmedicated ADHD, he had SUCH a hard time focusing in class – way, way too many distractions for him, and the unstructured environment didn’t help. He was always getting into trouble for not working, he often had tummy aches before school (has some anxiety issues too) and he thought his teacher hated him (wasn’t true). A regular classroom is a much better fit for him, and now that he’s medicated & worked on strategies for himself he’s doing much better at school (going into grade 7 next week).

      So, based on my experience, the Montessori programs really depend on the child, and whether their personality and strengths/weaknesses are suited to the unstructured environment. For my oldest it was a resounding yes, for my middle, a resounding no. Even with my middle son being medicated, etc. I don’t think it would have been a good fit. He still gets overwhelmed when there is a lot going on in class and often asks his teachers if he can go to the breakout room to do his work when things get too much for him.

    • Anon

      I went to Montessori from age 3 through 8th grade. I was always a pretty early, easy learner, so it was perfect for me. I loved the freedom to learn on my own pace, and I just LOVED going to school. I think it’s because of my Montessori background that I grew to love reading and writing so much–if that was what I wanted to do all day, I was basically free to do it. We had no desks, no homework, no grades. It was bliss.

      I went to high school at a public magnet school, so went through culture shock in adjusting to that intense, cold environment. However, I adapted after a rough few months, and all was fine in the end (got into a good college and law school after that, and did well at both). I will say, however, that I was significantly less prepared in math and science than my peers who had gone to more traditional schools, since, in spending all my time reading and writing, I really didn’t focus on math or science more than I was forced to by my teachers (which was not very much). So, it was good for really honing my strengths, but also let me ignore my weaknesses, which probably wasn’t so great.

      Also, my younger brother had a learning disability, and for him the non-structure of Montessori was almost impossible to handle. He needed an environment with routine, grades, and a lot more focus.

      I will echo those above and say that my advice is to think about how your child learns and thrives. I loved Montessori and will consider it for my children, but it is not suited for every kid.

      • Monique

        I’ll echo much of this. I went to a Montessori school through 6th grade and then transitioned to a more traditional private school. I loved many aspects of the Montessori method: an emphasis on responsibility (all kids have “jobs” that are taken seriously); ability to deep dive on topics of interest; classroom structured with three grades together; no tests or grades. I did find that I was less prepared than my peers in science and math when I started 7th grade, but I quickly adjusted. Adjusting as a high school freshman would have been a different story, especially in a public magnet school.

        My brothers are less self-driven than I am, and they benefited from leaving the Montessori school at a younger age. My parents’ decision to move them had less to do with academics, however, and more to do with the small class size at the Montessori school. My brothers just wanted more friends and the chance to do sports at school.

        My advice to you as a parent is to chill out if it seems as though your kid “isn’t learning anything.” They may not be memorizing spelling words or multiplication tables at the same pace as your friends’ kids at public school, but they’re learning other important skills. Frankly, it’s been really hard for me to be on the other side with a kid entering first grade in public school. I worry that she’s LEARNING! at the expense of developing critical thinking skills or figuring out what she likes to do. I think my kid would flourish in Montessori, but it’s not an option for us.

    • ABC

      I went to a Montessori school through 5th grade and loved it. It worked for me, it doesn’t work for all kids. I was good at working independently and really thrived in that environment.

      I was way, way ahead of my classmates in 6th grade when I switched to “regular” private school (the Montessori in our area only went through 5th grade), particularly in math, to the extent that the school suggested I skip a grade and go into 7th grade.

    • BCB

      For full disclosure, I did not go to a Montessori school, but I am (or have been) good friends with probably 20+ people that did Montessori for K-8. Every single one struggled very severely with math and science. They all did fine/great/exceptional with humanities, but did not have the background in math and science and were never able to catch up. This really limited their options for college majors and careers, and I always thought it was disappointing that such smart and driven people were really limited in their options.

      I don’t know if this is a universal truth for Montessori– as I said, it only my experience, and a rather small sample size, but I do think it is something to seriously ponder. Outside of this (huge!) limitation, they all had drive, intellectual curiosity, and a love of learning.

  5. Burberry Coat

    I inherited a gigantic Burberry trench from my dad. It’s gigantic and definintely from the 80s. My question to the hive is what should I do with it? Can I get it tailored to fit me and be a more modern style, or should I try to bring it to a luxury consignment place? I’m in NYC, if it helps.

    • anne-on

      I believe the Burberry store does alterations in house, and if they won’t alter yours they should be able to advise you on who they use. Otherwise, that strikes me as just the thing consignment shops in NYC would love.

    • Anonymous

      Keep it for your someday son/nephew/20 year old lover you take in your 60s. I wouldn’t tailor it. You’ll lose all the 80s fabulousness and will wind up with a somewhat odd looking not perfectly fitted coat.

      • Harriet

        I love this reply! I totally agree – the 80s silhouette will be in style again (again!) in thirty/forty years and some young dude in a band will love you forever.

        • tesyaa

          Agree, plus the men’s coat is not cut for women and there are limits to what tailoring can do.

    • nutella

      I have the EXACT same thing – giant Burberry trench from my dad from the 80s that I’ve held onto but no idea what to do with it! Let’s meet up when we are older and wear our huge vintage trenches in style together!

  6. Boston

    Boyfriend and I will be in Boston for 24 hours next weekend. Staying by Faneuil Hall. Any must dos? Things to see/do/eat? I’ve been to Boston before but as a kid so don’t remember much beyond the duck tours and this will be his first time. If it matters, he’s into history and I am into yummy food. How would you spend your day if you had a random 24 hours to be there?

    • Ellen

      Go on the FREEDOM Trail, if your a walker. You can get a fitbit, and start right there at Fanueil Hall, and walk over the NORTH END, go past the old North Church where Paul Revire said:

      “the British are comeing! The British are comeing!”

      and you can eat alot of ITALIAN FOOD (yummy) and you can see a lot. YAY!!! Of course, you can also go down to the water and just sit and drink mojito’s like Alan and I did (before I knew he was a drunk). FOOEY!

      • hoola hoopa

        I second the Freedom trail, actually. It’s sort of dorky-tourist, but it’s a fun and easy way to see the historical highlights. I came away wishing more cities did something similar.

    • Ginjury

      As someone who has lived in the area for the past few years, I highly recommend downloading an app and following the Freedom Trail on your own. I think it really is the best way to see most of the city and hit the big history points. I don’t have any specific recommendations for food, but there are several pubs along the way that are great to stop in.

    • anne-on

      Walk through the park up to Beacon hill and pop into all the cute shops in the neighborhood there. Stop for a drink at the Liberty hotel which used to be an old jail. Walk by the water and/or pop over to Cambridge. Take a cab back over to the North End, see Paul Revere’s house and either eat all the food at Neptunes, or if the line is crazy get a table at Mama Maria’s for fantastic Italian. No.9 is also amazing if you’re more adventurous. Fanueil Hall was too touristy for us but I do wish I’d have stopped in the Isabella Gardner (sp?) museum last time I was up.

    • LH

      The North End for excellent Italian food and specifically Mike’s Pastries! Clam chowder is a must. Legal Seafood’s is REALLY good but if you’re anti-chain restaurant, there are lots of chowder vendors at Quincy Market (in Faneuil Hall) and since you’re staying right there it’s very convenient. The Langham Hotel has an amazing chocolate buffet if you’re a chocoholic.
      I was a broke student when I lived there so I’ve never really sampled the city’s fine dining but I hear amazing things about Craigie on Main if you’re looking for a fancy meal.

      • Anonymous

        I grew up in Boston and recently went back to the North End and it was so much fun. Also, Mike’s Pastries’ cannolis are as amazing as the line-up out the door indicates that they are. I think I ate 6 over the course of a weekend. That good.

      • Rachelellen

        Legal isn’t really a chain… in fact they’re running tv ads now to that effect! Turner Fisheries in Copley usually wins best “chowda” but Legal is great too. The Gardner Museum is lovely, and so is strolling the South End.

    • Jen

      I third Freedom Trail. Cannoli at Mike’s Pastry in the North End. Clam chowder at Fanueil Hall. Italian food anywhere in the North End. Walk through the gorgeous Harvard school grounds if you have time to get over to Cambridge. Have ice cream at JP Licks in Harvard Square.

      Take me with you!

    • Curly Sue

      Stroll the Esplanade along the Charles River (or, better yet, you can rent kayaks and paddle around on the Charles for a bit). If you’ll be there on Sunday, grab brunch in the South End (Gaslight, Kitchen, Beehive, Aquitaine, Masa) followed by a walk to SoWa, a fantastic outdoor market with food trucks, farmer’s market, art, and a vintage/antique market. Dinner at Parla in the North End — incredible modern Italian. Nightcap at Caffe Vittoria, where you can also grab your fill of delicious boozy coffee and dessert.

      Also, I’ll totally third JP Licks, which is amaaaazing.

  7. Gemma dress

    I’ve been reading a lot about the Gemma here lately. I ordered two and have tried them on a bunch. Can anyone who has had them comment on your experience?

    My initial thoughts:
    — fabric seems to be a bit grippy, so better able to wrap than my DVF
    — fabric seems to wrap higher than my DVF, but would probably still wear with something like the Shemi camisole slip for both top and skirt-in-breeze coverage
    — ties are a little wide and long for my taste ( don’t like a bow, but it’s long enough; just knotted and the ties seem a bit long)
    — fabric (I got the purple print and the solid black) seems to be thin, but I think that it is probably thicker than my DVF or no thinner

    Overall, since I used some Gap rewards and a sale code, I probably paid $50 each, which means that I won’t worry about ruining the dress (small children, too busy to be careful, etc.) and may actually wear them frequently. While I’d like to buy quailty items, the $ I spent on my DVF means that I don’t wear it much because I couldn’t afford to replace it (it is very pretty to me and I’d miss it). I didn’t think I’d keep both, but I’m thinking about it.

    • Maddie Ross

      I’m a big fan of the Gemma, but feel like the sizing isn’t fabulous. The small seems a big small, but I swim in the medium. The small tall is what I normally go with for that reason, but not all the colors are available in the tall. I do love that it’s actually long-sleeved though and not 3/4. And like the OP, I think the quality is pretty good for $50.

    • S in Chicago

      I feel like wrap dresses are about the most versatile thing I own. They usually allow for some flux in weight gain/loss, seem to get rotation for both office and social occasions, and usually travel well. I would say keep both. (And if you haven’t tried the faux wrap version yet, I would also recommend. I’m a complete convert from the Gemma since the top has so much better coverage and there is no fritzing with belts or worry over too-big of holes where the belt comes out like the true wrap.) Not to be an enabler! ;)

    • Bonnie

      I think the Gemma is far inferior to DVF dresses because the fabric is thinner and more clingy. The ties also are ridiculously long. That being said, I think the Gemma dress is worth it if it can be bought on sale. Also, the printed and darker dresses don’t show all the lumps and bumps like the lighter versions.

    • Nonny

      I am fresh from buying a Gemma at BR today.

      I was ready to not purchase and try out the WHBM recommendation from this morning, but decided to give it a try first. My verdict as a short, pear-shaped person who has trouble buying wrap dresses due to low necklines: it is fine. Not stellar, but fine. I bought a black one at 30% off and will get a lot of wear out of it. I like the A-line skirt, the neckline is acceptable, and I like the long sleeves. I also like the fact that the ties are so long – so often manufacturers are chintzy with the length of the ties. I agree that the fabric is a bit thin, but I usually wear a full slip under dresses anyway, so I can work with it. I bought a Small, which is true to size for me.

      I really needed a neutral wrap dress on an immediate basis so am happy to have this, especially on sale, but if I had been willing to spend more time and money on the search, I would have waited, done more research and gotten one that I was absolutely thrilled with instead.

  8. Anonymous

    Hi ladies, happy Monday! Sorry for the immediate threadjack, but I recently found out I am pregnant (about 5 weeks now) and am starting to think about the possibility of working part time post baby. I am a mid level associate at a large law firm in a transactional practice. I am interested to hear about other women who are part-time attorneys at large law firms (specifically in a transactional practice but definitely open to hearing other practice areas too). How did you go about asking to go part time? Is there actually such a thing as part time at a large law firm (I know some firms offer it but how realistic is it)? FWIW, although I am at a large law firm, my specific practice group is relatively laid back (no pressure at all to work beyond 2000 hours) and there are a few female partners who work part time (although I realize they have a lot more credibility as partners). After you return from maternity leave, you can automatically work an 80% schedule for the next 6 months but I am thinking more along the lines of 50 to 60%.

    TIA for any anecdotes/suggestions/advice!

    • Anonymous

      I have not done it, and I am a litigator, but one of the things that my mentor told me that can be difficult is that sometimes working part-time is more stressful than working full-time because all it means is that you have 3 days (or 6 hours or whatever) to meet all your deadlines.

      What I’ve been lucky enough to do is have a flexible schedule. I work “full-time” but whenever the work is light, I take a day off and spend it with my kid. It works because I don’t have to pay childcare if I am not there (some places require you to pay even if you’re not using it) and I am relaxed on days off because I know there’s nothing pressing. To me, this is easier than not being in the office every Friday.

      I should add that I don’t have a billable hours requirement, so that makes it easier.

    • Philanthropy Girl

      No advice – but congrats!

      Any chance you could talk to those current female partners who are part-timing and find out what their experiences have been?

      • Anonymous

        Thank you Philanthrophy! And yes, I definitely want to go to lunch with one of the female partners, but it’s just too early (since I’m not going to tell anyone until farther along in the pregnancy).

    • part time

      You were me a few years ago. After baby #1, I came back at 60%. Realistically, I’ve been billing up to 80%, but I like having the extra cushion so there isn’t that pressure. I get a bonus for extra hours, but not up to the level I would be if I were say 80% from the start, but that’s ok with me. What being part-time does for me is allow me to say no to some stuff (although it’s hard, especially if there’s no one else who can do it). But in a corporate practice, I wouldn’t have much use on deals if I said I was not available beyond x # hours a week. What happens is that when deals are busy, I work as if full time, so up to 70-80 hours or whatever is needed, and I just have to make alternate childcare arrangements. Then when things are not as busy, I try not to feel guilty for billing under 20 hours a week. The hard part which applies to all associates, but is magnified being on part-time, is that as you get more senior and the nonbillable hours increase, that eats into the time that you’re “working” but you still have to meet billables, so I’m obviously working more hours than 60% of the FT minimum. I have been doing this for 3 years now and it’s not perfect, and I have to work full time hours sometimes, but on the whole I think it’s worth it for the flexibility that is hugely helfpful when raising little kids (i.e. being able to come in later and leave earlier, having a cushion for emergencies). Let me know if you have any follow-up questions and I’ll be happy to answer.

      Edited to add that I have to work from home and on many of my days “off,” but this arrangement is still my best option right now (as opposed to FT or going in-house).

      • Anonymous

        Good point that you bring up – that the more senior you get, the more non billable work you might have. I hadn’t thought about that before so thank you. I get what you’re saying with your schedule – it’s not like you can say yeah I’m only working until 5PM on these days since obviously if a deal is hot you’ve got to do what gets done.

        How did you go about approaching your firm in asking for the 60% schedule? Are they just paying you 60% of your salary at what you would be making if you were full time?

        • part time

          My firm has a nice policy where 1 year after you come back, you can work as much as you want without formal approval – but I’ve never heard of anyone working less than 60% (me) and I obviously had to make sure it was ok with my group – mainly the one partner I do the most work for. After 1 year I had to submit a formal request to the personnel committee, but it was mainly a rubber stamp because I had made it work for a year and no one was complaining. Yes, I make 60% of the full time salary and then they annualize my hours. If I bill more than the minimum on an annualized basis, I get a bonus, but it’s 60% of what the bonus would be if I were FT (however, that’s subjective to begin with, so it’s hard to know if it’s fair). This works out to less than what it would be at the higher % to start with, but like I said above I’m ok with it.

          It’s hard to not do nonbillable work as you get more senior – I was on the summer committee which took a ton of time and I’m also a mentor, and all of that time takes away basically from my family time, because I still have to bill.

          This might be an unusual context for most firms, but I actually am afraid I am being advanced too early. I am up for partner next year, along with my class, and they don’t automatically consider me off track because I’m part-time, even though 60% is really quite low, combined with many months of maternity leave. This means I’ll be faced with the expectations of being a partner (assuming I make it, which I’m told I will), both experience-wise which is scary because I have substantially less experience than a FT associate would be in my class year – and thus won’t be able to handle things that one would expect a partner to handle, and client-development wise, because I’ll be expected to start generating more, which of course takes more nonbillable time. So basically I don’t know how sustainable being this part-time will be as a partner, but it worked well for me as an associate. (I asked about a counsel role, non-partner track, and was told that was not an option for associates because associates are supposed to make partner.)

          And yes, you definitely need childcare if working at home. When I have to finish things up at home after leaving the office, and it’s just me, it’s been incredibly stressful trying to supervise the kids and work at the same time, and that’s even when it’s just my oldest who can entertain himself for awhile.

    • Gemma dress

      Can you think of how you’ll go down %-wise? For my practice (also transactional), when it is busy, you can’t be 50% there. You just have to work until the work is done. I could take fewer deals, but at some point, it is hard to take fewer without someone to take more (so: currently looking for a junior person).

      With a different mix of work, things would be different. I used to have a very predictable schedule with a week at 25% and another week at 150% (ouch), but I was very, very happy with that.

      FWIW, I think 50% is treading water and would be hard to advance at that quantity of work. I think 75% and up is where you don’t damage your ability to move up (if you want that; I’d be happy with treading water for decades at 50%).

      Also, how important is face time and how OK are they with working from home / at night? For me, I can walk out at 4 every day and work all night (ugh) and wouldn’t go anywhere else if that were to be a problem.

      • Anonymous

        I guess when I think of 50%, I think of only having to bill 1000 hours a year, and not necessarily only working on 50% of a deal, if that makes sense. I was also thinking (and I don’t even know if this is an option) of just doing more paralegal type work or more due diligence work that’s not urgent. But if I did that, in addition to reducing my salary by whatever percent, I’m sure they would also reduce my salary for doing a different type of work that wouldn’t require my payscale. Just something for me to think about I guess.

        This might sound bad, but I don’t really care about advancing, so I am ok with 50%. I would be ok with remaining a forever associate, or with being “of counsel” or any sort of non partnership track.

        Another great thing about my group at my firm is that they honestly don’t care about face time. Even now, I often work from home on a random Friday and it’s not a big deal. Hardly anyone is in the office past 6PM so I don’t think working from home would be an issue at all.

        For those working moms, when you do work at home, I assume you also need to have someone else taking care of your child even if you are working at home?

        • Gemma dress

          For the last one, OMG yes. Exceptions are really for when it’s unexpected (sick child, snow day), but I’ve found it hard to work with a child at home (maybe for when they were <6 months old and slept a lot and weren't yet mobile).

        • Anonymous

          Why would they want to let you do that? Paralegal and junior level work can be done by people happy to be paid at that level and who are available to do the work. I’d try 80% for 6 months and see how that goes.

          • Anonymous

            Ha, good point actually. They probably wouldn’t want to let me do that. And true, I guess I never really thought about actually trying the 80%. 80% just doesn’t seem much less than 100% to me.

          • LH

            Caveat: I don’t have kids and have never done a flex/reduced schedule. But it seems to me that if you come back at 80% that’s going to make it really hard to go any lower than that (at least until you have another kid). If you really want less than 80% (and it sounds like you do) I think you should adjust people’s expectations from the time you return and don’t come back and set a precedent of working 80% & then turn around and ask for less. Maybe this isn’t a great analogy, but I know when people set a precedent of working through vacation or checking email in the middle of the night, it then becomes much harder to set boundaries and not do those things. It’s easier to set work-life boundaries from the beginning. Maybe I’m off base, but I can see the same logic applying here.

          • part time

            Agree with the idea not to start at 80% if what you really want is lower. It would be no big deal to increase if you wanted to, but it would be another ask to reduce again. Initially I thought I would want to increase my % after a couple years since I was working more, but then sometimes times are slower and I would be that much more stressed if I had to worry about extra hours during the down times.

    • anon

      I have been working part time, about 60%, for about 10 years. I am a litigator. Some weeks I work 70 hours. Some weeks I work 10 hours. My in-office schedule is flexible (I do not have to be there certain days or times). I have to be flexible to accommodate deadlines and busy trial cycles, and I’m pretty much always reachable by phone or email. I think it’s possible for me (and several others in my group) because some partners in my group do this and paved the way for flexible arrangements in terms of firm culture and necessary tech setup. I basically have the same setup they do. I think being the first one would be much harder.

      • Anonymous

        anon, how did you go about asking for the 60% schedule? Or was it something that was offered to you?

        • anon

          I approached my boss/awesome mentor, who is a part-time partner who comes to the office 2 days per week and works from home otherwise, and just asked for this arrangement. We now have several part-time associates and partners. I think the fact that this is built into the firm culture really helps.

      • Conflicted

        How do you deal with the constant ups and downs of this, and does it get easier with time? I am also a litigator, part-time (75%) for the last couple years, and I still struggle with the unpredictability – both for myself and for my family. Even though it was just as unpredictable in some ways, somehow work felt less disruptive when I was full-time and just knew I would be working all day every day.

    • AnonLawMom

      The reality of reduced schedules at BigLaw is that you will still need childcare coverage 100% of the normal working week (or at least a back up that is readily available). I think it can work really well if you factor that in, and in some ways can be ideal (i.e., you end up working 30 hours but having 40 hours of childcare, so you can actually go work out, get your hair cut, etc.). Just keep in mind that it is not like you are going to be able to treat Tues/Thurs like Sat/Sun (for example). In this way, the reduced schedule can be financially difficult because your childcare costs are the same but your salary is lower. The bonus is that on slower weeks there is no guilt in leaving the office to do stuff for yourself or relieve the nanny early/pick up kids early from daycare.

      • part time

        100% agree with this. Being part-time is a financial losing situation, but the pro is having more (though not regularly scheduled) time with your family (unless most of that time is eaten up by driving the kid(s) to daycare/school, which is another story – pre-kid and pre-daycare my daily commute was 20 min round trip, now it is 2 hours due to moving to a larger further house and out-of-the-way daycare).

  9. Hem Lines and Walk Heavy Commutes

    I know this has been discussed plenty before, but my searches are yielding way too many posts to dig through them all at the moment, but it’s getting cooler hear so I need to start thinking about this. What are your tried and true methods for dealing with a half a mile walk each way on your commute when you generally wear pants hemmed for 2.5-3″ heels, especially in the colder (but not yet snowy/icy) months?

    I’ve seen suggestions of zakkerz, wearing wedges, just safety pinning hems, but I’m wondering how you all actually deal with this on a day to day basis? Wedges are out because I just don’t care to walk that much in heels and I would like an option that still allows me to wear socks since I want to keep my feet warm.

    • PolyD

      Peg and roll your pants 1980s style!

      I don’t have a walking commute, so I really can’t help much, but the Burberry posts above have me thinking about the 1980s and how, nope, I do not want to wear most of that stuff again (although I will admit a weakness for neon/lime green).

      Anyhow, I would be too vain to wear real athletic shoes, but would go for something that is a “fashionable” athletic shoe, I think Puma and maybe Skechers have some that would probably be comfortable enough and not scream “Working Girl.” Please tell me no one is waiting impatiently for giant Jersey/Bon Jovi hair to come back.

      In colder weather, maybe some lower-heeled ankle boots?

    • Anon in NYC

      During colder months I commute in flat knee high boots. If I’m wearing pants, I just tuck my pants into the boots. I’m sure you could do the same with shorter boots, although it might not stay as well tucked.

    • Bonnie

      I roll and safety pin but honestly rarely wear non-skinny pants because it’s a pain. During colder months, I’m also warmer in a skirt with tights and knee-high boots than I am in slacks.

    • AIMS

      You’ve described my commute exactly. I wear skirts, tights and knee high boots. Usually with a knee length coat. I am so much warmer this way than in pants, esp. with thicker winter weight skirts. If it’s really, really cold I do either fleece lined tights/knee socks over my tights/under my boots, and you could also get a ankle length puffy coat. But seriously – cold or rain, skirts are my go-to.

      • hoola hoopa

        +1 to skirts with tights (yes, fleece lined; no, not walgreens ;) ) and weather-appropriate shoes. I often wear the fleece tights over hose or tights and remove at the office. It’s warmer than pants!

        If I wear heel-length trousers, I roll and pack them. Then I commute in jeans and weather-appropriate shoes. Length aside, I generally find they aren’t warm enough for the walk or dry enough once I get to the office.

    • anonsg

      I use bobby pins, or I wear booties, which are easier to walk in than heels, but I think what I would do is probably buy a pair of Danskos because they’re comfortable and tend to have a bit of a heel.

    • Monte

      I rarely wear pants for this reason, and if I do, I wear knee high boots and tuck them, as suggested above. Finally, I moved a lot of suits into my office for precisely this reason — commute in jeans or whatever is comfortable, and change once I am in the office. Since most other people in my building take public transportation, this is totally fine. Another upside is that I can go out with friends after work directly from work and not be in a suit.

    • Fishie

      Not sure how high your regular heels are but I wear Danskos and find them comfy and they have a bit of height (they are sort of platformish so the height is even across the shoe) so may keep your pants off the ground…at least moreso than sneakers or flats.

      I also really don’t wear pants much in the winter and def. not when it’s wet or snowy, so…

  10. WW

    After the hype it gets around here, I joined Weight Watchers last week in hopes of losing the 25 lbs I’ve gained he to stress and an injury. WW tips/advice/success stories? I’m already struggling to thoroughly track my food.

    • Ginjury

      Add everything you usually eat to your favorites. Sometimes it’s annoying to try to scroll through the millions of options to find something that best matches what you just ate. If that’s your issue, I’d just make a daily note on your phone and write, in some detail, everything you eat as you eat it. You can then add it to the tracker later that day. It does help to plan meals and enter all your recipes into the tracker. Beyond that, it’s just a matter of getting the hang of it. Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      Tracking gets much easier as you go. I was surprised how quickly I learned the points values of most things I eat. I’ve had the best experience when I track every single thing I eat, even if it’s “assorted fried bar food”- 20 pts. I also try and look at restaurant menus before I go. If I know the grilled salmon with veggies is an option, I’m less likely to get distracted by the deep fried pate.

    • rhubarb

      You’re my weight watchers twin! I joined in August 2013 to lose 15 lb and ended up losing 25 lb. It’s a long slog: I had a strong start but completely stopped losing at one point. WW definitely changed my eating habits for the better meaning the loss has been (so far) sustainable. Keep your chin up through any setbacks and good luck!

    • Brit

      It definitely gets easier – I haven’t had any recent experience with it, but my grandmother was a life-time member before she died mid-2000s and she had just memorized just about the serving size of everything she ate and their point values (though it may be a different system now). For her, it really became a life-style versus a diet.

    • Anononon

      I was down 40 lbs initially, about 3 years ago. But, I gained about 10 back since getting engaged/married… I just recommitted to get down 20 from where I am now to get to my goal weight. All I can advise is to stick to it 100% – you eat it, you track it. Hold yourself accountable for everything immediately. It will get easier.

    • Red Beagle

      Save your meals as meals, and if you don’t mind, don’t give yourself too much variety day-to-day from your go-to breakfasts and lunches. I alternate between Kashi Autumn Wheat shredded wheat with almond milk and a bit of fruit for breakfast (six points) and eggbeaters on a low-carb tortilla with salsa and a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese (3 points and you can have two Laughing cow wedges for a point). For lunch, usually a little sandwich made with a Sandwich Thin or light bread, some turkey or ham, and a slice of Sargento ultra skinny cheese (5-6 points) with some veggies or a little side salad or cup of broth-based soup. All three of the above are saved as meals along with a few of our go-to dinners, like grilled fish over brown rice with a side salad.
      Try not to use too many of your 49 extra points, try to make at least 3 of your 5 fruits and veggies veggies instead of fruits, and try to eat whole foods rather than processed (shop the outside of the store). Do your homework on restaurant menus before you go out to eat so you don’t have the shocking OMG — that was HOW many points (sorry for the Ellen caps) if you look it up after, because restaurant food can easily be double what you think it’s going to be in terms of points.
      This, from someone who’s done WW four times, always with varying degrees of success (10-22 pounds).

  11. S in Chicago

    Any advice for where to go for statement necklaces that are a step up from BR, Ann Taylor, Anthropologie, etc.? I recently bought several wrap dresses in solid colors and they could really use something–but too often what I’m seeing in stores looks rather low quality or has way too many rhinestones to be appropriate for the office. Etsy holds promise, but I feel so overwhelmed with the options that I don’t quite know where to go and it’s kind of hard to get a feel for weight or quality from just a picture.

    • PolyD

      Actually, I’d watch for sales at Macys, Nordstrom, Lord & Taylor. They may have higher-quality, more work-appropriate items. I like the Anne Klein line, I think they carry it at L&T.

    • AIMS

      I’ll say that Anthro necklaces vary in quality hugely based on manufacturer so stopping by the stores might be worth a shot. I’ve also had good luck at museum shops like the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gift Shop (available online).

      Also, check out Kenneth Jay Lane necklaces at places like Last Call. Some of it is cartoonishly grandma but some is really cool, and the quality tends to be pretty solid. In general, I always have good luck at places like that or Saks Off Fifth for jewelry. Also – look at natural stones on Etsy. I have a whole bunch of necklaces made out of relatively inexpensive stones like rose quartz or lapis and they tend to look/hold up much better because they’re natural stones.

    • S in Chicago

      Thanks, all. You’ve given me some great new leads. And thanks AIMS for the specifics on stones. That might make it a lot easier to scope out Etsy.

  12. Anonymous

    Argh, I think (know) I have a UTI and I have zero time to get to the doctor. Any at home remedies, or do I just need to bite the bullet & carve out 4 hours for an urgent-care visit? (No regular doctor in my new area to visit unfortunately!)

    • Denveranon

      I had a miraculous 30-minute urgent care visit with my son this weekend. So it can happen in under half a day!

    • Anon

      I used to get them often and one time I was out of town and didn’t want to deal with finding a place to go to, so I drank a TON of water (seriously so much water), took cranberry pills, and ate raw garlic (cut it into pieces and swallow–don’t chew it, or get garlic pills), and used the pills (Azo?) that turn urine orange to manage the symptoms. Once I got back into town I went and had my urine tested and it was clear so it worked. (They also sell testing kits at the drugstore or online.) Of course, be careful about kidney damage, etc. . .

      • Anon

        Agree, get the 100% cranberry juice (you can find it at Whole Foods or health stores) to drink, and the Azo pills really do help (my SO calls them my v*gina painkillers).

      • Philanthropy Girl

        +1 – if your symptoms are just starting, cranberry pills, tons of water, 100% cranberry juice (no sugar, no other juices, dilute with water if necessary) and garlic or garlic pills, plus pain reliever for the discomfort. If you’ve already had symptoms for a few days, you’re better off getting to the doctor. My experience is that home remedies are most successful at the very onset of symptoms.

    • Anon in NYC

      Go to a doctor. I got a UTI in college that I tried to treat by drinking cranberry juice… spiked a 104 fever and when I finally went to the doctor he told me that if I had let it go any longer that I could have seriously damaged my kidneys.

      • JJ

        Yup. Same, only I did end up with a kidney infection and it was pretty terrible pain.

    • Ginjury

      That’s really frustrating. If they’re a common enough occurrence for you, is there any chance you could call your old doctor, explain the situation and get a prescription to knock it out? Obviously this depends on your relationship with the doctor, but it might be worth a shot.

      Otherwise, you might see if you could get into PCP nearby work sometime early this week since it’s generally just uncomfortable, but not an urgent issue. Hope you feel better!

    • Basics

      Azo from any drug store for pain relief until you see a doctor (which you need to do). Also, if you get them regularly after play time – I’m done with the gardening leit motif – ask your doctor for a prescription for Macrobid (or similar) that you can take preventively after each play time. Best use of modern medicine to solve a previously intractable problem ever.

      • Anonymous

        Note that many UTI’s are resistant to Macrobid and other antibiotics – don’t use them as an excuse for good post-playtime hygiene.

        • Basics

          Absolutely not a substitute. Part of a pre-game and post-game regimen blessed by MD.

    • rosie

      Can you look on zocdoc and make an appointment with someone in your new area with availability in the near future? Might also be a good way to try to find a new practitioner in your area, plus you avoid urgent care (although I, like Denveranon, had a relatively easy urgent care experience the last time I went–DC, Sunday afternoon).

    • anne-on

      Drink a ton of water, take an azo pill, and go to see a regular doc as soon as you can. Most ob-gyns will call in a scrip for you same day after an in-office tests is positive. Mine will call one in for me first and then just have me do the in-office test in the next day or two.

    • Godzilla

      Someone on here recommended unpasteurized apple cider vinegar. I have consumed SO MUCH VINEGAR. It really helped me, way more effective than cranberry juice. I’ve found that any vinegar helps. And I’ve incorporated more citrus (including cranberry juice) and vinegar into my normal diet to prevent recurring UTIs.

    • rhubarb

      Call urgent care and ask 1) if they take appointments and 2) when they are less busy. Tried this on the advice of my sister and they were really helpful.

    • Mpls

      Go to virtuwell dot com if you are in Arizona, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, North Dakota, Virginia, or Wisconsin. It’s an online clinic and UTI is one of the conditions it can get you a prescription for.

      • Mpls

        Also, a meta-analysis of studies on the effectiveness of cranberry juice in treating UTI points to there not being any statistically significant effect on a UTI from consuming cranberry products. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23076891

        So the cranberry thing doesn’t really hold up. The effect is probably due to a case of drinking more liquid, period.

    • k-padi

      Check your health insurance or other benefits to see if you have telephone access to a doctor (not a nurse). My last firm had unlimited access to consult-a-doctor and it was wonderful! For my urgent issues, I got a call within an hour and the doctor was able to send the scrip directly to my pharmacy.

      That is one benefit I really miss. It was so wonderful yet many people weren’t using it. That doctor was the bomb.

    • Calico

      Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar (or any with “the mother”.) Trader Joes brand works fine. Put some in whatever you can stomach it with- tea, water, honey lemon, etc. Put it in a bath and soak. You will likely feel relief within the hour but keep drinking it for a few days so you can be sure it’s taken care of the bacteria.

      This works for me immediately. I was a long sufferor of UTIs, until I found ACV.

  13. Pro Bono

    Does anyone use Bindertek trial notebook dividers? I’m not a litigator but want to take on some pro bono cases, so I like the idea of a shortcut to be organized, but only if they are actually helpful.

  14. L

    UGH. I ordered a friend a dress to wear in my wedding from nordstrom. Didn’t fit, so she returned it. Looks like the post office has lost the dress. Anyone ever have any luck with Nordstrom’s helping out due to a lost package? I hate to be out $300 for a dress that no one is using!!

    • Kathryn

      From all of my great experiences with them, and from stories I hear from everyone else, I bet you will have no problem with them refunding you. Especially if she used their return slip, and double especially if you can prove the post office lost it.

      Ugh, I know they can’t be perfect, but I can’t stand dealing with the USPS…

    • anon

      My experiences with returning to Nordstrom’s is that I believe they are notified as soon as you use their return label to mail something back. You might try on that premise, hoping that they were notified and that they can determine if/when it was lost.

    • Parfait

      Post office lost some boots on their way to me one time. Nordstrom replaced them without question, just asked that if they eventually turned up I return them. I betcha they will be extremely helpful.

  15. How to get dressed 101

    How is a pencil skirt supposed to fit? I have a 15″ difference between my waist and hips and a slight lower belly pooch and I just have no idea how to determine whether a skirt fits or not since I don’t seem to understand how it’s supposed to look. Help? Links to curvy women who properly wear pencil skirts would be helpful too.

    • Anonymous

      I too have a big size difference between my waist and hips. Basically, no off the shelf skirt is going to fit you properly – you’ll need to get them tailored.

  16. Therapy

    Hi all,

    So, I just had my very first therapy appointment with a MSW, LICSW. Nothing super duper serious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety about work/relationships that needs to be addressed. I was sitting there answering the very nice woman’s questions and literally started crying giving basic information. Couldn’t stop. Is this normal? I generally keep it together, and I figured the crying wouldn’t happen for at least a few sessions! Thankfully I like the therapist and will keep seeing her, but I just felt kind of dumb.

    Words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks.

    • k-padi

      Yep. Perfectly normal. You finally have a place where you aren’t expected to keep it together.

      It sounds like you have found a therapist with whom you “click”! Best wishes!

    • just Karen

      So sorry, I accidentally hit “report”. I recently started seeing a therapist and was talking to a friend about it, and she said that when she had gone years ago, every single time the therapist asked how she was doing, she burst into tears. Even when everything was going relatively well. I think there may be something about being in a totally safe place (ie a place where it is actually “appropriate” to cry), that everything we’ve kept bottled up starts to pour out. It’s not just you! Keep up the visits, I just finished my third and while the first two were very background oriented, this last one really felt like I made progress processing what seemed like a pretty small issue that was bothering me, but deconstructing it with her really gave me some great insight as to larger/longer term issues. Good luck!

      • Anon4this

        This. The “you’re in a totally safe place”. Glad you are getting help

    • Conflicted

      Hang in there, and don’t be too hard on yourself! It’s okay to cry, and totally normal – it takes a lot of courage and strength to recognize you need help and get yourself to an appointment like this, especially when you’re used to keeping it together all the time. So there’s nothing basic/dumb about it, even if all you were telling her was your name. I say you’re awesome for realizing you need this, and for following through on it, and for planning to go back. Go you!

  17. Brief writing?

    Tips for efficient brief writing?

    I do not do a lot of these. Mostly, I do real estate. But that is the beauty of the teeny-tiny general practice firm… you never know when you will have three days to write a summary judgment brief on your boss’s biggest file! You know, the file that you haven’t worked on (at all) until now!

    So, who has tips for surviving (and winning)? Mostly I struggle with organizing all the evidence, since I have not been hands-on with this file until now. There is the small matter of my 80+ other files, but I suppose the estate planning can wait.

    Litigators: how can you stand this?? Where do you start??

    • Maddie Ross

      Dude, I am working on one right now. Start by just getting something on paper. Even just the standard of review section. Once something is down, it gets easier in my opinion. And outline, outline, outline.

    • AIMS

      Figure out what is not in dispute as best as you can.

      Frame your facts in a persuasive narrative (best as you can).

      Don’t waste time on boilerplate like “the standard on a summary judgment motion is…” — anyone reading one of these briefs will know the applicable standard, just incorporate it into your argument or at least state it quickly and move on (I’ve seen too many briefs where this takes up 2 pages or more).

      Try to anticipate the opposing argument and incorporate the rebuttal into your brief. It always looks so sh*tty when you write something that looks like a slam dunk and the other side just has to go, “except that X and Y also happened so summary judgment should be denied.” That makes your brief look awful.

      Someone I worked with once gave me the following formula for when you’re staring at a blank page: state your conclusion; state your rule; apply rule; rebut any argument to the contrary and conclude with “therefore I win”. Sort of like a more practical IRAC. I’d marshal my facts and start with that.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Start with the legal standard of review. Then you know what you need to prove. Generally it is something like looking at the facts in the light most favorable to the non-movant, there are no genuine issues of material fact and the movant is entitled to judgment as a matter of law. That means if you are writing for SJ you want to show all the facts for which you are in agreement and that based on those facts and the law in your state, you win. If you are defending it, you want to show all the facts were you disagree and how those are material to the case and that based on those disputed facts as a matter of law you can’t lose. Also, you can have no disputed facts but you can show that the law does not favor you losing but if that was the case you would normally be filing an objection and a cross motion for SJ.

      For facts you want to compare the complaint and the answer, any interrogatory responses, admissions, and depo transcripts as your first stop. Documents produced can also be important but you probably don’t have time to dig through all of them. Ask an assistant/paralegal if there is one if there is any document summary or list of key docs for you to review.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I’m laughing that AIMS and I were posting at the same time and wrote completely contrary advice.

        • AIMS

          Ha! This is probably a know your audience/court kind of thing. My first job out of law school was a clerkship with this very seasoned, very esteemed, very opinionated judge who was seriously against it both in briefs and in his decisions (“everyone knows or should know the standard, why tell me about it?!”) Obviously, you still work it in (“Taking the facts in the light most favorable to the non-moving party as one must on a motion to dismiss….”) and of course you have to know it for purposes of your analysis, but after clerking with my old judge, I’d never just include it for its own sake except for very briefly on more formal briefs (appellate, federal court, etc.). When I see it in briefs, a) I always skip over that whole section and b) it’s often not done very well (IMVHO) and just gets used as a crutch. But of course – know your audience. And remember that ultimately it will neither hurt you or help you to include it/not include it. The important thing is, as Blonde Lawyer says, to know what you need to prove!

    • ORD

      Google “curmudgeon’s guide to legal writing.” It’s a 3-page sheet on how to write a brief. Just follow his format & you’re set. I use it all the time & give it to new attorneys also.

      • so anon

        Wow – I’m a state high court law clerk and 1) this is great advice for me and 2) please dear appellate counsel, use it.

      • Anon

        This is awesome! I’m printing out now to keep as a reference in the future? Thanks!

  18. free time fashion advice sought

    I came to this site for the work issues, but have been picking up ideas on how to dress from it. I’m still a long way from fashionista and have a couple questions. I’m finally accepting the fact that my body is now a size 12 or (gulp!) 14, and am trying to dress to look & feel my best.

    In the warm climate where I live, shorts and capris are nearly an all-year thing. I carry a little extra weight everywhere, but it’s really concentrated in my belly. I’ve gone from 35.5-27-36 to 38-33-42. Ugh. What style shorts would look best for me? I recently got a pair of shorts from Talbots. They look OK, I guess, but are such mom shorts! I’d like to find something a little cuter, but it’s hard to find any that don’t emphasize my belly.

    Can I wear these shoes http://www.zappos.com/palladium-flex-lace-asphalt with one of those cute dresses from Patagonia, like the Morning Glory dress?

    Thanks!

  19. free time fashion advice sought

    I came to this site for the work issues, but have been picking up ideas on how to dress from it. I’m still a long way from fashionista and have a couple questions. I’m finally accepting the fact that my body is now a size 12 or (gulp!) 14, and am trying to dress to look & feel my best.

    In the warm climate where I live, shorts and capris are nearly an all-year thing. I carry a little extra weight everywhere, but it’s really concentrated in my belly. I’ve gone from 35.5-27-36 to 38-33-42. Ugh. What style shorts would look best for me? I recently got a pair of shorts from Talbots. They look OK, I guess, but are such mom shorts! I’d like to find something a little cuter, but it’s hard to find any that don’t emphasize my belly.

    Can I wear the Palladium sneakers with fake laces from Zappos with one of those cute dresses from Patagonia, like the Morning Glory dress?

    Thanks!

    • AIMS

      My personal opinion is yes, but in a lighter/white/silver/pale gray color. That’s very in right now and could look chic, the other darker colors could look frumpy.

    • Annelin

      Hi – probably super late and you won’t see this but I’m probably around the same size as you with a belly (also in a hot climate!). For me I almost have to get shorter shorts (around 5″) rather than longer or even bermuda shorts. I find the longer shorts emphasize the belly for some reason. This is especially true if they’re a thinner fabric. My favorite shorts are the 5″ clean-front Caslon shorts from Nordstrom (recently on sale). I also look for shorts that aren’t too big in the leg openings – that just seems to echo the size of my middle!

  20. Anonymous

    In the warm climate where I live, shorts and capris are nearly an all-year thing. I carry a little extra weight everywhere, but it’s really concentrated in my belly. I’ve gone from 35.5-27-36 to 38-33-42. Ugh. What style shorts would look best for me? I recently got a pair of shorts from Talbots. They look OK, I guess, but are such mom shorts! I’d like to find something a little cuter, but it’s hard to find any that don’t emphasize my belly.

    • Wildkitten

      What if you wear a shapeware tank top? That might make more options work for you.

      • Moderation?

        Ugh! Only if I get an Emmy and my stylist makes me. No, my career has nothing to do with acting, so I know that won’t happen, lol.

        Seriously, I’m looking for advice on what fits the body I have, un-ideal though it is.

        • Wildkitten

          I like tanks for the body I have because I feel like they keep my belly from “hanging over” the waist of my pants/shorts, like a bellylicious muffin top.

        • Parfait

          I can’t see wearing shapewear with shorts either! Shorts are for comfort.

          That said, I am also well-endowed in the abdomen, and I wear dresses all summer and avoid the issue entirely. I hate wearing things that cut me in half in the midsection. I know everyone says to avoid the empire waist and not shop at Boden if you have a belly, but I do both things. Fashion scofflaw! I may be deluding myself (and those of you who have met me, please feel free to let me know that I am), but I feel like accentuating the narrowest part of my torso (right ABOVE the curve of the belly) and letting loose fabric flow over my stomach looks pretty good, even though that is against all the rules.

          • Moderation?

            Really, no empire? I’m with you–think that’s a good look for me. I suppose if my belly were so big it would push the fabric out more, like a maternity top, it’d be a problem, but so far that doesn’t happen. (Knocking wood that it doesn’t!)

            I do like dresses, as mentioned in the next post–sorry I had to break them up., it was a moderation thing. There are times that dresses just don’t work well–sitting on the benches at my son’s BB games, for example, or going to a playground where I might want to do the monkey bars or something, or on a ropes course.

            So I’m back to the question of what shorts are best on this kind of body.

          • yup

            Can attest that Parfait looks good in what she wears! Heed her fashion advice, people :)

            Carry on.

        • CelebritySleaze

          GabiFresh looks great in her shorts. She tends to do high waists and shows off her legs. I guess the high waist tucks the belly in. I have a similar body shape to you and I prefer capris. I live in Atlanta, so not tropical but still hot.

    • loopy

      Hi there, I know this will get a lot of upturned noses, but: I am about your size and I wear skorts in the summer. Has to look like a skirt all the way around – NOT the kind that look like skirt on the front, shorts on the back. The bonus with a skort is that the shorts part prevents your thighs from rubbing, if that is a concern for you. I like Eddie Bauer’s offerings. Here are two I own.

      http://www.eddiebauer.com/product/horizon-cargo-skort/23151052/_/A-ebSku_0310780283001020__23151052_catalog10002_en__US?showProducts=&backToCat=Skirts%20_%20Skorts&previousPage=LNAV&tab=women&dcolor=283

      http://www.eddiebauer.com/product/travex-reg–journey-skort/23150283/_/A-ebSku_0310871707000070__23150283_catalog10002_en__US?showProducts=&backToCat=Skirts%20_%20Skorts&previousPage=LNAV&tab=women&dcolor=100

      I do not think you should feel like you must resort to shapewear on the weekends in order to be comfortable in the climate in which you live! Good luck!

    • mascot

      Shorts with a wider waistband and a slightly higher rise work for me (I have a few from AT factory store). Also, I like the Old Navy perfect shorts in either a 5′ or 7′ inseam.

    • BCB

      I’m a 14/16 and Old Navy 5″ are the best shorts for me and come in lots of cute colors. I didn’t feel comfortable in shorter ones (they would bunch up in the middle), but if you do– then rock it! I liked slightly wider leg, shorter shorts, as I thought those looked best with my legs. I felt like tighter shorts just emphaized my leg size.

      My life long advice as a 14/16: rock it. you have better things to do in life than stress about your size.

      Also, baggy clothes just make you look bigger. People can tell the shape of your body anyways, so don’t worry about wearing more form fitting clothes.

  21. Moderation?

    I’ve tried to post a question a couple of time, about a certain pair of shoes and a particular dress. I included proper nouns, made one attempt with a link, one with out. Why won’t that question post? It’s gone into moderation and then disappeared every time.

      • Moderation?

        Nope, just one. I guess I’ll try putting the brand names in two separate posts without capitalization and see if anyone can figure it out and give me their advice.

        • Parfait

          Too youthful for what? I think it’s cute. I assume you’re going to a picnic or something, not to court.

          • Moderation?

            Nope, not trying to look professional in that outfit, just like a decently put together mom about town. We are well past “yummy mummy” stage–my boy is in middle school, so not my appendage any more like kids are when they’re little.

            Thanks for looking it all up, sorry that it turned out to be a pain for the reader instead of me being able to post a link or 2.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions