Corporette.com

Updated: Oct 31, 2018 134 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Marlborough Little Tote Bag

Coffee Break

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Canvas Tote: Liberty London Marlborough Little Tote BagThese coated canvas bags from Liberty London look amazing. The colors are bright and fun, and I always love a good coated canvas bag for durability, strength, and not adding too much extra weight. There are three colors; they're $450 at Neiman Marcus. Liberty London Marlborough Little Tote Bag Here's a lower-priced option. (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. New Tampanian

    I’m an Amazon Prime member and I like the idea of the Kindle Owner’s lending library – because I’d get one free book a month. Problem is, I don’t own a kindle. I’ve tried to stay away from purchasing one (I have the app on my very old iPad and phone) as it seems like just another device. I prefer hard copies of books but I realize that is a) expensive and b) wasteful in terms of paper. Plus I don’t have a ton of space in my apartment for all of the books I read. My iPad isn’t ideal for pool/beach (which I’m lucky to get a good amount of time at).

    So…… those of you with a kindle – which one do you suggest and why?
    Anyone know where I could maybe get a used one?

    • Anonymous

      Look on ebay for a used one. Americans are obsessed with upgrading. Look at craigslist.

    • Anonymous

      Just an FYI the Kindle Owner’s lending library is useless to me. It’s a very limited number of books that are available and you won’t find anything on the best seller’s list or the popular books that show up recommended here or on friends’ GoodReads feeds. In addition, most books available in the lending library are available to non-Kindle owners for free or a couple of bucks, so you’re definitely not getting a free $10 book every month. I bought a Kindle primarily to use the lending library and it has been a huge disappointment. If you want a Kindle anyway, go for it, but I do NOT recommend getting it just for the lending library.

      • trefoil

        Same deal with Kindle Unlimited. I didn’t renew it past the free trial period.

      • Reneemm

        I disagree. I read a lot of books, mostly through Kindle Unlimited. Even if they would only be a few dollars each, I read enough in a month that $10 is a great deal for me. I think it depends highly on what books you are interested in reading.
        I generally read romance novels and writing craft books, and I’ve never been disappointed by the selection available. It’s true that the new bestsellers are not on there, but soooo many great books are! So it really all depends on your reading habits.

    • Meg March

      I have the Kindle Fire (several generations old) and I just got John Brooke a Kindle PaperWhite for Hanukkah. The Fire works great for my needs, but I think you should look at the PaperWhite. It’s so light and compact that it fits in a bag easily. The screen is also very nice. I think John Brooke was very surprised by how much he liked it– he had previously read using the kindle app on his phone. Yes, it is another device, but I think he’s found that it occupies a niche that was previously unfilled.

      I don’t know what the resale market is like, although I think Amazon offers refurbished ones?

      • Meg March

        Oh, I also found the Lending Library fairly useless– the selection isn’t great. HOWEVER, my city library has a huge selection, and I can search/checkout/download books from them straight from my kindle/computer (I don’t have to be at the physical branch) which is great.

        • Sydney Bristow

          You can do this with any device that has the Kindle (or Overdrive) app. 95% of my reading is Ebola from the library.

          • Spirograph

            lol @ ebola from the library.

            But yes, local library ebooks for the win! I love that they just show up in my e-mail / Kindle when it’s my turn in the hold line, no trip to the library necessary.

            I was strongly anti-ereader for years, but got a Kindle Paperwhite last year as a gift. I still love paper books, but Kindle is sooooo convenient. And reading in bed without the light on because my husband is trying to sleep is great (that may be why he got it for me).

    • library

      Does your local library offer e-books? I found my library’s selection of books to be far better and more mainstream (best sellers, popular authors) than the free books for Kindle/Prime folks.
      Kindles go on sale a couple of times a year it seems like. If you just want to read books, an older e-ink version would be fine

      • Sparrow

        +1 to eBooks. My library uses the Overdrive app, which I keep on my phone. There are tons of books available online. The only thing is that sometimes there can be a long wait period for popular books. I love to read and it’s great having the app so easily available.

      • Terry

        Agree! The Chicago Public Library, at least, has a huge selection of kindle books (although most have a wait period before they become available). Not sure if this is because it’s a big city or if every library has this now. The high on Sunday is predicted to be 8F and a wifi library is just enabling me to never leave my condo again…

      • ORD

        My husband is military so I download books from the Navy’s library — it’s on Overdrive like a city library. Tons of magazines on Zinio, too, that I read on my Kindle. This may be a lesser known military benefit, but it has a huge selection and often no hold time when my city public library’s Overdrive has a wait list.

    • Coach Laura

      Love my Kindle paperwhite and I love it. It has adjustable back-lighting so I can read on public transit, in the dark (at night in bed or while camping and once when the power was out) and in the glare of summer sun.

      With amazon prime I get one free book a month from Kindle First and then there’s also the Kindle lending library. Between those and the two public libraries that I can access, I very rarely pay for a book. (Usually only if I can’t wait to read the latest new book from Kathy Reichs or Daniel Silva.)

      • Aurora

        Agreed on the Paperwhite. If you don’t need a ton of fancy stuff that comes with the fire, the paperwhite is the closest to reading from an actual book (good for glare by the pool or in the dark at night) that I’ve tried.

    • Jules

      I have an older (3+ years, so practically obsolete) Kindle Fire and like it. I don’t think the lending library is all that great, since the books available are not necessarily ones I’m interested in. I do take advantage of the monthly free book that comes with Prime. Again, these are not going to be the hottest best-sellers or books that will become classics but I’ve selected some mysteries and thrillers that are perfect for airplane reading, etc. I do use the Kindle a lot for library books, and I have read many best sellers and popular books that way (including “Where’d You Go, Bernadette?,” “The Girl on the Train” and “Station Eleven:). the two libraries I belong to use the overdrive system; you search for and check out books on that portion of the library’s site and it then routes you to Amazon to actually download the books. For new releases for which there is a lot of demand, I do sometimes have to put in a request and wait for the item to be available.

      I have used my Kindle in very low-light situations — when I was married I could read in bed with the light out when H wanted to sleep; without the Kindle we might have divorced earlier! — and outside/in glare. I have not tried it at the beach, might worry about sand getting in the charging port, but there probably are cases that would protect against this.

      I have also used my Kindle as a tablet, for web-surfing, games and e-mail if I don’t want to squint at my phone, although it’s so old some sites don’t work with it. I don’t have an I-pad but I think the newer Kindles would do much of what your I-pad does, so you could eliminate that to have one fewer device.

    • LF

      I love the PaperWhite. It’s lightweight and readable anywhere, and a single charge lasts me weeks at a time.

    • Cat

      I have a Kindle Keyboard (5 years old?) – agreeing with others that the Lending Library is pretty useless, but my local library’s ebook selection is pretty good. I rarely buy a book. Sometimes you have to suck it up and wait for a bestseller to become available (um, it took me 5 months for Girl on the Train, which, after reading it — why the hype??).

      I love it because I’m not scared of reading outside/at the beach, and the non-backlit screen is a lovely break from i-World.

      • Anonymous

        And also, if your wi-fi connection is off when the library book expires, it still gets “returned” to the library but still shows up on your Kindle until you connect the wi-fi again. So you can “keep” the book until you are done, as long as you don’t download anything new.

    • Mpls

      I got my first (I’m on my second) Kindle as a Christmas present about 4-5 years ago. I was pretty on the fence about whether I wanted one, having worked in a bookstore and loving to have books on the shelf – and whether i’d go with a Kindle, Nook, or something else. My first one fritzed out on me about 3 years in and I ended up buying a new one within a week, even though I already had the phone with the app. I just have the basic e-ink version (no paperwhite, backlit, or Fire).

      I love that I can borrow from the library without leaving my couch. I love that I can have 100s of books at my disposal without having to haul all that paper around. I love that it fits in my purse or bag easier than a book. I love that it saves my place without a bookmark. I have found that I really don’t like reading non-fiction, so it only has fiction books on it. I do have a lower price threshold for buying ebooks than I do for paper books ($5 at the most, more than than, I’ll try to find it at the library). I don’t use the Kindle Unlimited, since I have access to a decent library system that will let me check out books for free already :)

    • Anonymous

      I love my paperwhite and now use it instead of an iPad for reading primarily because I like the smaller size, lighter weight, and the non-bluelight screen. I don’t know that I’d buy a standalone Kindle though if the main motivator is the lending library. As others mentioned, it’s largely useless in terms of offering books you’ll actually want to read. I get a ton of use out of the e-book selection at my two local libraries, but I don’t think you need an actual Kindle for that–the app on your phone, ipad, or computer will work just fine.

    • Blue ink pens

      I LOVE my Kindle. I have two actually — an old version that I got a few years ago that is a traditional kindle and doesn’t have any lighting or a touchscreen, and then I have a Kindle Fire that I got last year because I wanted to try out this type of tablet-like device.

      I find that I much prefer the old kindle. It’s so compact and lightweight, and since I read before bed I like it better because it doesn’t give off any light. I keep reading about how the light emitted by electronics messes up the sleep cycle.

      I also echo what other commenters have said — my primary source of books is my local library. They have just about everything I would want.

      I do use the Lending Library. Sure, it doesn’t have the hot new books, but there are plenty of solid ones out there.

    • Anon

      I have a very old Kindle device and I am keeping it because it has free cellular downloads. That said I don’t use it much. I prefer the non-lit background for ease of reading but I also like to travel light. I’m toting around a work issued iPad (all of our meetings are supposed to be paperless so they issue iPads) so I just use the kindle app.

      My favorite thing to read on my iPad is Vanity Fair magazine, if I’m being honest. The colors are striking on my iPad.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I don’t have a Kindle, so I can’t speak to amazon’s lending library, but I have two different Nooks and get ebooks from our public library, which has a good selection. I originally got a nook because at the time (this was years ago when they first came out), the public library didn’t support kindle format, just epub (most books they now have in both formats), and I like it because the screen really does look just like paper, as opposed to a backlit screen of a tablet, which I think helps with eye strain. They’re also lighter than tablets, so they don’t feel weird to hold up for long periods of time. My second nook I got on sale for I think $40? It’s super basic, but all I needed.

      • CountC

        +1 I have had two Nooks and I almost exclusively read borrowed books on it! I have three different library accounts, so I can almost always find what I want without waiting :)

        • Meg Murry

          Glad to know I’m not the only one who has cards at multiple libraries so I can get more books faster. I also like that my Kindle fits easily in a modest sized purse so I can always have a book with me, whereas hauling around library hardbacks is a pain.

          Plus, no late fees for library books! I am terrible about returning library books on time, so ebooks are great for that. The bad thing is that if you have too many late fees on your card they cutoff your ebook access – so that motivates me to keep the fees now and nag my kids to return their books and DVDs on time.

  2. Kindle?

    So I have a question resulting from the previous one…

    I have an iPad and read on it occasionally although I much prefer reading an actual book. Will a kindle be easier/more like reading a book or is it similar enough to reading on an iPad that I’ll have the same issues?

    TIA!

    • Anonymous

      It’s definitely more like reading a book than the iPad is. But I have a Kindle and I still like to check physical books out of the library because I like the feel of a physical book and turning the pages (it’s not an eyestrain issue tho).

    • Anonymous

      A kindle is like reading a book – the screen is completely different than your iPad. I used to prefer reading actual books, but a kindle is so much easier to read and you don’t need two hands to turn the page. Plus they’re awesome to read lying down – they’re so light.

      • Jules

        Agreed about the advantages of not having to use two hands. I travel a lot for work and read at meals, which is doable with a magazine but almost impossible with a book. Even in a more dimly lit restaurant I can read on my kindle; I just prop it up at a good angle (on my purse or the salt shakers or something) and just use a finger to swipe to the next page.

    • Anonymous

      So my problem with using a Kindle is that I read really fast, and because the screen is so small (and I can’t do super-small font size because of my ageing eyes), I’m constantly having to turn the page. All that swiping is a pain and disruptive to my reading experience. Anyone else have that problem? Is there a fix?

      • Anonymous

        Get the Kindle with the button on the side, instead of the one that swipes? Your finger/thumb is already sitting where it needs to just from holding it so it’s a less disruptive action to turn the page.

        • ALX emily

          Agreed. And newer Kindles (especially the new paperwhite and the voyage) turn the page faster than older Kindles.

        • Em

          I got the Voyage specifically because of this issue and find it much easier on my thumbs than the Paperwhite because of those buttons.

    • Scarlett

      I’d see if you can borrow a friend’s to test it. I had a kindle and hated it compared to my iPad. I find the kindle app a lot easier to use and far prefer reading on my iPad or a real book. I have friends who are die hard kindle lovers though, so there could be something I’m missing, but I wish I’d tried one before buying.

    • In House Lobbyist

      I love my old school kindle – probably 6 years old. I can read it all day without any problems but I can only read the kindle app on my iPad for a few hours max without it hurting my eyes. And the old kindles are much more like a book so I will replace mine when it dies.

  3. Danielle

    The Kindle Owners Lending Library is one thing – you can borrow one kindle book a month – and the Kindle First is another – you get to choose one free book from a set of 4-6 each month. I resisted buying a kindle for a long time and finally pulled the trigger on a Paperwhite a couple of years ago – and I’m so glad I did. It is great for reading at the beach or on vacation, and was relatively inexpensive (mine was a holiday sale I think – and I didn’t pay for the ad-free one.) But yes, lots are available on ebay.

    • Anonymous

      Kindle First is free for all Amazon Prime members. You definitely don’t have to have a Kindle device, just the Prime subscription. I like the quality of those books a lot more than the Kindle lending library, which is Kindle only, although neither will have NYTimes best sellers.

  4. E-ink fan

    I have an ancient first generation e-ink kindle and now a kindle Voyage. To me the electronic ink screens make these very much like reading a real book. I am tired of looking at a computer screen all day and a big curmudgeon- thought I’d never use a Kindle- but i can read the kindle for hours without any eyestrain.

  5. Love Liberty

    I have a full sized Marlborough Tote purchased on vacation in London just over a year ago. It is wonderful. The full size one is the same size as a Neverfull GM, so organizers can be used for both. It’s been used quite frequently and still looks brand new.

  6. KP

    My company has branded lapel pins and they always insist employees wear them when we attend events. I really don’t want to stick a pin through my suit dresses/blazers (am always dressed up for events)… anyone have any bright ideas?

    • Anon

      You could try one of those things that convert pierced earrings to clip on. The post on the lapel pin is usually thicker so will be hard to bend but I think you could do it with needle nose pliers. I’m not sure it would stand up straight though.

    • Anonymous

      Mine does as well. Suggest that the next order be magnets not pins. Otherwise, put it through a button hole on the lapel if you have one. If you are at a conference that has lanyards, I’d pin it on the lanyard.

      • Anon

        This may actually be worse. I had a job that had magnetic name tags and they would often ruin my shirts. The magnet was so strong it would leave a permanent indent that I could never get out.

    • KT

      My work has strict rules about having to wear lapel pins to big events.

      I took mine to a metal work place (not anything fancy, like Tru Value or something). They broke off the needle portion, sanded it so it was smooth, then fastened a magnet to it. That way I just snap on a magnet to the back of my lapel/dress and I’m good to go–no holes required.

    • Out of Place Engineer

      I would use a strong magnet. Search Amazon (or where ever, I’m a Prime junkie) for “Round Magnet with Adhesive for Button.” You would have to find the size that would fit, but I have used magnets for buttons in the past and haven’t lost one.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have any ability to ask them to get magnetic pins instead (or as an alternative option, since I know people with pacemakers couldn’t wear the magnet)? My grad school issued magnetic nametags at orientation and we were expected to keep track of it and wear it to all recruiting events. I thought it was a great idea for them to not have to constantly print up the disposable ones, and the magnet was much more suit-friendly.

    • nutella

      Ask if they can make it into a magnet? I find magnets to be the least harmful to clothing.

  7. Meg March

    Any suggestions for easy, large group, vegetarian food for a party? Bonus points for prepare ahead. We do not have a slow cooker. We’re having a potluck sort of thing on Monday. We have plenty of seating, so they don’t have to eat standing up, but limited surfaces– so it will likely be in plates on their laps.

    • Sparrow

      Vegetarian chili – this could be made in a large dutch oven on the stove
      One of those 7 layer Mexican dips
      Veggie wraps – spread with cheese and maybe roasted veggies
      Pasta – maybe a veggie lasagna or ziti

    • Anona

      Baked pastas like lasagna are easy, taco bar, quiches, savory tarts, stuffed mushrooms, cheese plates, tomato pie, deviled eggs, salads (bean, green, grain, fruit, pasta, etc), veggie risottos, roasted vegetables with orzo (there is a good Ina Garten recipe for this), butternut squash mac and cheese, bay potatoes (slice up a mix of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and onions and line them up in a baking dish with oil and salt and pepper, putting a bay leaf every few slice), hasselback zucchini (takes up less room in the oven than roasting veggies, make a bunch cuts 3/4 through a zucchini spaced closed together and slip some thinly sliced garlic every few cuts, drizzle with oil and salt and pepper and bake)

  8. Anon

    This may be a stupid question, but how do you guys integrate a SO into a conversation or make friends with the opposite gender without accidentally leading them on? I’m in a new city so I keep trying to make friends, but when a guy asks me to hang out, it inadvertently is a date from his POV. I’m not one to constantly talk about my SO…

    • Ali

      You should let the guy know up front that you are already taken, and that you are ONLY interested in being in the “friend zone” with him. Men clearly know that this means that there is to be no sexual access. If they understand this clearly (and you do too), you will not be faced with awkward situations where they attempt to access zones that are clearly reserved for your SO.

    • emeralds

      You have to work it into conversations early. There’s no other way. I remember when I started my first job out of college, I met a colleague who was (is!) an attractive man two years older than me. I wasn’t in the habit of scanning for rings at that point, but we were talking at the event and clearly had conversational chemistry that could have transitioned into chemistry-chemistry given proximity and a limited dating pool…except that, IDK exactly what it was, but say we were talking about TV, and he said something like, “Oh, my fiancee and I have been really getting into [whatever show]!” And that was that. He, his wife, and I ended up being the three musketeers, lest you think this is some friendship ruiner. Anything works! “What are you doing this weekend?” “I’m going to check out a new restaurant, and then I’m excited to skype with my boyfriend back home to tell him about all the new stuff I’ve been doing here!” “What do you do in your free time?” “My boyfriend and I have been getting into rock climbing, do you know a good place to go around here?” Etc.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t agree to go out one-on-one with a guy unless it was clearly a professional context. I’d suggest a group outing or ask if he had an SO and suggest a double date. I have male friends from college and grad school that I’d have no problem hanging out with one-on-one, but when you meet someone new (especially if you don’t meet through work) and then immediately go out with them one-on-one before you know each other well, it screams “date” to me.

    • Anonymous

      Can you make small talk, bring up your husband when they ask how your weekend was and all? How are you meeting these guys?

    • Anonymous

      Can you give an example? I’m having a hard time imagining that I would have a lengthy enough conversation with a new guy where my SO didn’t come up organically. E.G. – He talks about running, you mention that you’re just learning to run + you got into it because SO was a runner/you’re always looking for running buddies because you’re SO isn’t into running + move on and ask about local running groups/paths) Substitute any activity/interest for running.

      Obviously this involves you remembering to intentionally tie in your SO but I don’t think it sounds forced or like you’re constantly talking about your SO

    • anon

      It’s really easy- within the first few minutes of meeting someone, you mention the boy. Just do it REALLY early.

      “Yeah my bf and I live up the street, so I come to this coffee shop all the time.”

      “Oh yeah my fiance and I have been watching that show.”

      “Oh those weekend plans sound fun! My boyfriend and I are going into the city this weekend.”

      “Training for a 5K? SO and I ran did the Turkey trot this year!”

      All it takes is once- if a guy is trying to ask you out, he’ll realize if you mention a boyfriend. If he asks you to grab a beer and you haven’t had the chance to mention your SO yet, say yes (if you want to be friends with this person), and then mention it later. He’ll either be happy to make a new friend and adjust his expectations, or he’ll slink off into the sunset to pout by himself, and not follow up on your plans, and save you the trouble.

    • lawsuited

      Seeing as you’re meeting these folks in the context of wanting to make new friends because you’re new to the city, I’d work it in as part of explaining why you’re in the new city: “My fiance and I just moved here in November” or “I moved to [new city] because I found a great job and so I could be closer to my boyfriend”.

      It’s really not weird to mention your SO once during a getting-to-know-you conversation with a new friend – it’s a pretty key detail about you, and doesn’t turn you into a sap who can’t say a sentence without saying her SO’s name.

    • TBK

      I actually find it hard to not mention my husband if I talk to someone socially. I’ve worked with people, however, who never mentioned an SO and who were actually married or in a relationship. They just said “I” in lots of situations where I would have said “we.” As in “What did you do this weekend?” “Oh, I went into the valley and did some hiking.” or “I saw a movie” but actually the person was doing those things with an SO. It seems more natural to me to say “we went hiking” or “we saw a movie.” Could it just be changing some “I” statements to “we”?

  9. Anonymous

    Looking for recommendations or resources on how to find a decent attorney to speak with about my recent termination which I have been told/suspect is very questionable.

    In the Boston area
    TIA

    • Jules

      I know a couple of labor and employment attorneys in Boston (mostly labor but they probably could handle an employment case or give you a referral), Nicole “Nikki” Horberg Decter, Segal Roitman, 617-742-0208, ndecter@segalroitman.com; or Betsy Ehrenberg, Pyle Rome Ehrenberg, 617-367-7200, behrenberg@pylerome.com.

    • Anonymous

      This is a great little non-profit that does consults on a sliding scale. They will give you a referral if you don’t qualify for their services (low-income) and are partnered with some powerhouse employment firms in Boston (the biggest in my opinion being Lichten & Liss Riordan) and also host a network of smaller firms that do “smaller” cases. Good place to start: http://www.fairemploymentproject.org/

  10. Fed Pub?

    Has anyone been to a Fed Pub seminar in Sterling, VA? After 15 years in California, I am always surprised at how many suits I see downtown in DC, but am not sure if the same formality extends beyond the beltway. I am planning on boots and knit/jersey dresses with cardigans. Does that work?

    • CountC

      I’ve been to one in Tysons. Attire ranged from suits to jeans. Dress in layers because the room will either be too warm or, more likely, too cold. My presented wore a suit, but immediately took off the jacket. I didn’t get the impression that he gave a hoot what anyone was wearing.

  11. L-bomb

    How far along in a relationship are you comfortable dropping an “I love you”? Knowing of course that everyone is different and that you should (ideally!) feel it before you say it, I’m curious to know if you tended to have a pattern in your relationships. My best friend is quick to say it, whereas I am slower to work up to it.

    • BeenThatGuy

      Good question. Once I waited 9 months (probably loved him in 4) but never had the courage. It backfired on me in the moment, he said thanks, but we wound up getting married in the end. Then divorced. LOL

      I have fallen in love with my current SO but haven’t told him yet (almost 4 months into the relationship). It’s not based on my past experience but I fear I love too freely. So I’m waiting to make sure my gut and heart match.

      I say when you feel it, hold it in a while to make sure it’s real love, not lust.

    • Anonymous

      With my now-H, I felt it after a couple of weeks but wanted him to say it first (which is silly in retrospect), so I waited until he did, and that took almost six months (even though we’d been talking about our wedding, kids and lots of other long term things since almost day 1). The last few months were torture and I definitely had a few breakdowns to my mom and best friend.

      My only other serious relationship was with a guy who said it on one of our very first dates (during a LGP, but then he kept saying it out of the bedroom). I didn’t say it back, obviously, but after a couple of months of him continuing to say it I gave in and said it back. I didn’t really love him but I cared about him a lot, and that never really changed over the course of our multi-year relationship, until I eventually wised up and ended it. In retrospect, the early “I love you” should have sent me running for the hills because he was always way more into me and the relationship than I was into him.

    • nutella

      I have noticed most people around me, including myself, typically do somewhere between 3-4 months, or at least know it if they don’t say it. But every person and every couple is different!

    • emeralds

      My anecdata: never said it to a SO before my current boyfriend, because somewhere in my gut I never really thought they were going to last, even though I cared a lot about them at the time. Was confident in feeling it for my current boyfriend after 3-4 months, but didn’t say anything because I was paranoid. He said it around the five-month mark. So I’m right there with you in the slower to work up to it camp, in that it took me 27 years to say it to anyone :)

  12. Miss Baggypants

    I weigh a lot and am in plus sizes, but have just started losing weight. I’m down enough that some of my clothes are obviously big on me (especially pants) but not really enough to go out and buy new clothes. Any suggestions for how to handle this wardrobe transition? I’m terrified that if I go out and alter my clothes, I’ll immediately gain back all the weight. I also don’t want to buy anything new – mostly because I seem to be losing weight in weird ways that doesn’t translate into obviously being “one size down” or something straightforward like that. This does not seem to be a linear process at all.

    Any suggestions? I’m tired of wearing baggy pants but also feel sort of paralyzed about what would be better.

    • Anona

      Dresses and skirts are your friend when you’re losing weight. You could probably replace your pant with skirts -ponte pencil skirts are good, a-line skirts are also good (wear them low or high waisted, depending on how your weight changes. True wrap dresses are pretty flexible.

    • Anonymous

      I live in dresses when my weight is moving steadily in one direction or another (and give up completely on pants).

    • Tetra

      Wrap dress or ponte dresses. See Lands’ End for examples. I wore baggy suit pants for far too long before discovering these!

    • BeenThatGuy

      Buy a few wrap dresses. I lost 100 pounds and they were a lifesaver. When I did buy new pants, I bought them very tight (think uncomfortable tight). So that would last through many pounds down. I’d wear until they were very baggy then do it again.

      Try let go of what’s happened in the past when you’ve lost weight before. Looking back will only halt your progress.

      Good luck!

    • Maddie Ross

      While it does involve some new clothing (or perhaps dusting off some you already own), I think skirts are more forgiving than pants when it comes to weight changes. Same with dresses, esp. in wrap styles or ponte fabrics.

    • Pants question

      You really do need to either buy or alter some clothes. You will feel a lot better about yourself when your clothing fits. A few pairs of pants (probably) won’t break the bank – it’s really a necessity.

    • lawsuited

      I suggest tailoring 1 or 2 pairs of pants (say, a pair of black work pants and a pair of jeans), wearing the crap out of them while you’re this size, then tailoring another couple of pairs once the first pants don’t fit you anymore. The benefit of recruiting a tailor rather than buying new clothes, is that your tailor should be able to take clothing in while preserving the seam allowance in case it ever needs to be taken out again.

    • Bonnie

      Buy a few new bottoms. You’ll feel much more confident without a saggy butt.

    • Aurora

      Find a good tailor (look on Yelp, Angies list, etc. for positive reviews), then bring a pair of pants in and talk to them. Tell the tailor your situation and your goals. A good tailor should be able to talk you through some options – as lawsuited mentioned, preserving the seam allowance is one, but there might be others as well depending on how your body is changing (adding in elastic, moving around buttons, etc.). If you like the tailor’s advice, try it.

      My tailor is really good about giving me tips on when things are worth tailoring and when it’s time to just buy new clothes.If the first tailor you find seems to just want to mechanically alter your clothes and not work with you on building a wardrobe that makes you happy, try a different one.

    • Miss Baggypants

      Thanks, all. I do have a great tailor, and I think I’ll just bite the bullet and get some of my pants tailored down. Look forward, not back! (Right, BeenThatGuy?) I am mostly thrilled to finally see the scale moving, but there are some weird hang-ups with this process.

      • I'm Just Me ...

        I lost 60 lbs 2 years ago. I hung on to some of my larger clothes during and after the process. I packed them up and stored them, out of sight.

        One of the biggest motivators during my loss was seeing how I looked in the next size down. Wearing clothing that fit was huge, and I felt better about myself. It was much better to have a small wardrobe that worked, than lots of stuff I did not feel good in.

        Once the weight had been off a year, I donated most of my work clothing to an organization that helps women reenter or enter the workforce.

        I didn’t buy a lot in transitional sizes, just a few basics. My wardrobe was boring at some stages, with just a black skirt suit, a grey skirt suit and lots of mixing and matching. At the price point I pay for clothing, tailoring was not worth it. I got a price of $40 to tailor The Skirt, so I just went and bought a new one.

        During the transition, skirts and dresses definitely worked better than pants.

  13. wedding anon

    Trying without the link…Ugh sorry if this double (now triple!) posts. Would you buy a $35 bridesmaid dress that you’re meh on but that probably wouldn’t look hideous BUT is also final sale if it does look fugly, or spend $100-120 for something that you objectively like more and would be returnable with tags?

    • wedding anon

      Link was the issue, I guess. Cheap dress is the Azazie Sofia if anyone cares enough to look.

      • Anonymous

        What are the instructions the bride gave you? If it’s some weird color you have to match, it seems like a good choice.

    • Bridesmaid budget

      Depends on your budget, obviously – but you may end up eating the $35 and still paying $100 or more for a decent dress. $120 for a bridesmaid dress isn’t terrible, especially if you look and feel a lot better in it.

      • wedding anon

        Yup that’s my issue. I would get the $35 one in a second if it was returnable. But I don’t know if the difference will be that great. I guess the worst-case scenario math is losing $35 + shipping, and then having to get a $100 dress + shipping, which is still not that much more than getting a $120 dress in the first place and $120 is reasonable for a BM dress.

        I’m probably overthinking this.

    • Cat

      Would the more expensive dress be something you would legitimately wear at least 3 more times? If not, the Sofia seems perfectly serviceable for a strapless floaty little thing. I think it looks better on the real life pictures than it does in the stock image — stock image looks a little junior-figure-skater to me, but it is apparently longer and less poofy IRL.

      • wedding anon

        Doubtful that I’d wear a more expensive dress that much–don’t love the color and don’t go to too many fancy events, so when I do I want to get some RTR stunner that looks like a million bucks. The stock photo of the Sofia is horrific and junior figure skater is exactly the description my brain was searching for, but the real person ones look fine.

    • Anonymous

      Rule: Never ever buy anything you’re meh about; life is too short. Plus it’s not going to get any better when you own it, and you’ll probably never wear it. Save the $35 and buy something you actually like and will wear multiple times.

      • wedding anon

        I wouldn’t be likely to wear anything in the designated color multiple times, and I don’t think I’d be excited to wear any of the pricier options even if I got it dyed black after I wore it to the wedding (if I even followed through on doing that). Maybe I still would since I don’t currently have a basic cocktail dress? But if I wanted to spend $120 + $alterations on a black cocktail dress (if I could even dye it, since google just told me polyester is not dye-receptive) they would not be the dresses I would choose. There is just no slam-dunk option.

      • Anonymous

        Disagree. If its not something you would choose to wear again either way, get the cheap one, and save the money for things that matter.

        I’m a huge believer in spending solid money on things you will wear over and over again (work clothes, the make-up you wear every day, hair care, glasses, the perfect work tote) and scrimping on the things you are going to wear once or twice and never again.

        Especially for evening events in dim lighting I wear cheap dresses. I put it in the same category as purple eyeliner. A fun thing I’m going to wear once or twice- not worth buying quality.

      • Dahlia

        Disagree. If its not something you would choose to wear again either way, get the cheap one, and save the money for things that matter.

        I’m a huge believer in spending solid money on things you will wear over and over again (work clothes, the make-up you wear every day, hair care, glasses, the perfect work tote) and scrimping on the things you are going to wear once or twice and never again.

        Especially for evening events in dim lighting I wear cheap dresses. I put it in the same category as purple eyeliner. A fun thing I’m going to wear once or twice- not worth buying quality.

      • S in Chicago

        Agree. Also it’s not just a matter of one-time wear. It’s pictures that have potential for extended viewership/shelf life, too. Might as well get something you like that you can wear again.

    • nutella

      To me this is a question about alterations/fit. If the more expensive one fits great without alterations but the cheap one needs alterations, it may just be a wash and you may prefer to get one that you can return JUST in case.

      However, I have yet to re-wear a bridesmaid dress (and I have a lot of them!) so that is the math I would do. If you think you would re-wear it, then cost-per-wear factors in and yeah, I’d want to get one I’d actually like to wear again.

  14. anon for this

    Mid-thirties, working at a large corporation (Fortune 50). Never had a problem with a manager before this job (in fact, the opposite is usually the case). This is so bad that, 10 months in, I know that it is not salvageable and am ready to leave.

    Is there a smarter way to go about it than just handing in my resignation tomorrow? Last week, I was in a meeting with my manager (who thinks I am a terrible employee), his manager (who is shocked that I have that impression – I have won a few small awards in the short time I have been here), and HR. Meeting was basically because manager wanted to chew me out about a non-issue, so, on the advice of employment lawyer friends, I asked that HR also be present.

    Wisdom from the hive, please.

    • NYC tech

      Keep your butt in that chair until you get another job! It is so much easier to get a new job while you’re still employed. Just do the minimum at the current job to get by. And start job hunting aggressively. You’ll be able to put up with the nonsense at the current place much better knowing that you’ll soon be gone.

      • anon for this

        That’s not feasible. (The person who held this job before me made it five months before resigning without any job in hand because she could not stand working for the manager.) It’s bad,

        • Anonymous

          What exactly is wrong with the manager and what was the meeting about?

          What field are you in — is it an easily employable field like tech or something like law which is pretty saturated in most places? Do you carry your own health insurance or do you have a spouse’s plan? If it’s your own and you are really wanting to quit — why not hold off until 2/1? It’s 2 more weeks but health insurance premiums at most places are paid on the 1st of the month — which means you get 1 more month where you don’t have to pay COBRA or Obamacare.

        • lawsuited

          I knew my last job was not workable 8 months in. My boss was an alcoholic, irregularly in the office (and alternately yelling at me and crying in my office when he was), sometimes sent me 40 emails in a day and sometimes ignored me completely for 2 weeks at a time. He was aggressive and passive aggressive. He made comments to me, to co-workers and sometimes to clients insinuating that I was an idiot. It was bad. I wanted to resign every day.

          In hindsight I’m really glad that I resisted resigning until I found another job. It took 4 months of job searching to find the amazing job I’ve been in for the last year. Honestly, I don’t think I would have been hired at my current firm if I had quit my last job after 8 months and been unemployed for 4 months. Because I still had a job I was able to do the “I’m not really actively looking, but a colleague told me about this opening and I just had to apply”. Having to explain that I resigned because of a “bad fit” or a “difficult boss” would have raised eyebrows, even though everyone at my firm is lovely, because it’s impossible for a potential employer to know whether the problem was the previous firm or you.

          • anon associate

            Not OP but UUGGHGH, your first paragraph is my current life. Not even sure if mine is an alcoholic, but I suspect and the rest of your paragraph is dead on.

            Any way just posting cause its nice to hear a happy ending.

        • Anonymous

          Of course it is feasible. You just don’t resign. And look for another job. Are you being physically abused? Are they withholding your pay? Then send at least three months seriously looking unless you’re just rich.

          • Anonymous

            Hmmmm perhaps you have never been on the receiving end of emotional abuse at work that is so bad you cry before going to work every single day but when you are in that position you know you have X amount of weeks in you before you fall into genuine mental health crisis. If you are at that point you may struggle to apply for new jobs, survival becomes the only goal.

    • KEL

      It was a smart move to have HR there to witness your meeting. And it sounds like you’re getting some legal advice, at least informally, but allow me to contribute one tip of my own (that you probably already know): HR is not your friend. HR’s job is to cover the company’s ass, full stop. Sometimes that means rooting out a problem like your manager, but usually it means making sure no one rocks the boat or worse, sues. HR doesn’t care about what is fair or “right” in any given situation, and is usually happy for the problem (i.e., you, because you’re pointing out a problem) to go away. If you do resign, DON’T SIGN ANYTHING.

      • Opal

        This all.day.long. HR’s job is to protect the company. That’s it. Good to bring them in and start documentation, but proceed with caution!!

  15. newbinlaw

    I’m struggling with this too. I’m not trying to lose weight (I’m tall and thin by nature) but my body shape changes rapidly with 5 pounds up or down. Right now, somehow I’m down, and my butt is gone, legs thinner, waist smaller… and none of my work pants or pencil skirts fit. Would love more advice. I have a medical condition — this will probably happen to me forever.

    • DC Anon

      As others said above, I’ve found dresses with a little stretch (think stretch wool or ponte) to provide a lot or flexibility when your body shape is changing. See if you can pick up a couple dark sheath dresses that fit your current shape. They should have enough stretch to accommodate a 5 lb shift. I’m somewhat tall and have fluctuated about 8 lbs in the past year and I’ve found that I’ve been able to keep wearing my dresses at all weights, while the fit of my pants is much more sensitive to changes in my shape.

  16. Wedding planner?

    Pros, cons, personal experience regarding wedding planners?

    Details in case it helps: getting married in June, at a venue that is managed by a good friend, and he’s already provided us with lists of caterers/photographers/musicians/etc that have been both easy to work with AND a hit with the couple and guests. We’re having 75-100 guests, fairly casual, in a major city. My fiancé lives there now; I do not.

    • Anon in NYC

      It sounds like a lot of the planning is already in hand. It might be helpful for you to have a day-of coordinator. His or her job would be to coordinate with all of your vendors on the actual day, so you/your fiancé are not getting calls because the band’s amp blew, or the photographer is lost, and coordinating schedules as needed, etc.

      My venue had somebody who was an event planner who also functioned as a day-of coordinator, so I didn’t feel like I needed one. I would talk to your friend and see what he suggests and how previous weddings have been handled. Maybe he just handles stuff like that himself.

      • pot

        Day-of-coordinator was a lifesaver for me. I arrived at the venue ~3pm before our evening wedding and she was already there dealing with the caterer, florist, etc. I think you can ask a friend to do it, if your friend is very organized. She also kept us on schedule, keeping the toasts going forward, etc, leaving my husband and me to socialize with our guests, many of whom had traveled significant distances to be there with us.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to a day of coordinator. Way cheaper than a full scale wedding planner, and covers what you really need.

      • Emmer

        Yes yes, a day-of coordinator was essential. Ours was not only just a body to be there on that day, but also called all of the vendors to arrange logical times for set up and such. If you already have recs for which vendors to use and are comfortable doing things like picking a color scheme and stuff, you’re fine without a full-service planner.

    • Anonymous

      Not sure where you are, but in my area (NYC) the going rate for wedding planners are about 7k, not including vendors, etc. DH and I planned out 200 guest wedding and it went just fine. Stressful? Yes, but even with a wedding planner, you would still ultimately had to make decisions and whatnot. Not worth the cost for me personally.

    • New Anon

      We hired someone to do day-of coordination plus some kind of month-of planning help. Wedding was in my hometown, ~110 miles away from where we lived for most of planning, ~3,000 miles from where we lived for the last three months before the wedding. She was very helpful in the planning phase, though mostly with stuff you may not need (vendor suggestions that it sounds like you’re getting from your friend), but really we hired her for the day-of stuff and she 100% delivered. I didn’t want to be the person solving a million problems/setting up floral arrangements/making sure favors were out that day (in large part because my biggest wedding stressor was the worry that I’d just entirely _forget_ something, and the more I took on the more worried I got), and she did a great job with that. She also solved a couple of, “Someone needs to do X Thing, but all of the good candidates are busy with something else,” issues, including putting boutonnieres on the men and transporting wedding party members to the church. We could have figured those things out on our own, of course, but she was helpful both from an “extra bodies” perspective and to the extent that she had more experience with weddings than we did and I thus felt more comfortable that she’d notice and flag if we’d forgotten something or made a poor plan.

      It’s totally possible you don’t want someone to do those kinds of things or that the friend who owns the venue can do them for you. If the latter is your plan, keep in mind that he may not be able to spend much (if any) time as a regular guest. It’s possible he wouldn’t *anyway*, given that he manages the place, but you probably want to think about it up front.

  17. Anon

    You guys, Eileen Fisher has a really good clearance sale going on right now. I love their merino wool pieces.

  18. Jules

    And on another sale note, looks like MyHabit is having a big sale on Frye boots and shoes, for those who are fans.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions