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Updated: Mar 8, 2023 224 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: M.M.LaFleur

Suit of the Week

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gray skirt suit made out of sweater material

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I just noticed that M.M.LaFleur now has not one, but two matching skirts for everyone's favorite jardigans. (There's also a pair of pants, but they look like they're firmly in the casual corner.)

One of the skirts is this flippy flare (pictured above); the other is your basic below-the-knee pencil skirt with a work-appropriate slit.

I think this opens up new possibilities for mix-and-matching — all of their jardigans look great with simple trousers and sheath dresses, of course, but you can make it a knit skirt suit if you'd like to.

Here's their other major jardigan, with the pencil skirt that comes in matching fabric. (The Woolf jardigan is pictured above with the flippy skirt. You can also see how the shorter jardigan, Sant Ambroeus, looks with the flippy skirt here. And here's an image of the Merritt with the flippy skirt.)

navy blue skirt suit

The various pieces are $195-$325.

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Sales of note for 9.30.24

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Engagement Ring Anon

    Engagement Ring anon from yesterday. We had pizza for dinner last night with homemade pizza crust. I made the crust the night before after I got home from the gym (exhausted) – because I couldn’t be bothered to do it same-day, and I wasn’t going to be bothered to use the mixer, so I mixed and kneaded the dough by hand. And, of course, you can’t do that while wearing jewelry, so my ring went on the silver kitchen scale I used to weigh out the flour and was camouflaged…

    Anyway, we’ve been re-united, and I really appreciate everyone’s good will and high spirits as I freaked out and searched everywhere…

  2. Anon

    Do you do anything special on the birthdays or anniversaries of the day of death of loved ones who are gone? What/why?

    • Senior Attorney

      My mom’s birthday is a few days before Christmas and since she’s passed I usually wear her Christmas sweatshirt (with the sparkly snowman on the front) on that day in her honor. Other than that, I just think about my parents on their anniversaries and maybe send a text to my daughter.

      • Anononon

        We do this, but to family events throughout the year. My mother, sister, and I have jewelry passed down from my mom’s mom, so we all wear that to big family events so we can “bring” Grandma. My brother has my grandfather’s watch, and my cousins have a few other similar keepsakes.

    • Vicky Austin

      No, usually not. But once in a while, one or the other will be insistently on my mind for a day or two, and I consider that more or less the same thing.

      This is also a good time to bring up the concept of “touchstones,” which I find helpful. You choose a small thing to be your touchstone for a departed loved one and whenever you see it (or hear it, or smell it, or whatever) you pause for a moment to think of them. Mine are all plant-related (including that perfect just-ripe sun-warmed raspberry smell), but I’ve known people who chose birds, butterflies, or even cars.

    • Rainbow Hair

      Judaism has nice traditions around this – I was actually surprised to learn that it isn’t common across other traditions. You light a candle and say the mourners’ kaddish on the yahrzeit, anniversary of death. It’s… I was going to say “nice” which is not the right word, but there’s something comforting in it. I’ve found that on some level, even if you don’t ‘remember’ that this is the anniversary date, you often just feel… something off, around that time. So I like the idea of knowing what to do.

    • Cora

      My family sponsors a meal at a homeless shelter on my late grandmas birthday. She used to volunteer there and in our culture its also just thought to be good to do something that helps others as the remembrance. Kinda like we’re upset but at least someone is getting something good today.

    • Anonymous

      My mom died when I was a teenager and 30 years later I make a birthday cake on her birthday every year. (This coming weekend!) Now I also look at old photo albums with my kids and tell stories about when I was a kid. I do not do anything the day she dies.
      My dad, I toast with a glass of wine. Sometimes I make a birthday cake, but he died much more recently and it felt less tragic

    • Anonymous

      For my mom’s parents I’ve written their birthdays and deathdays on the calendar; I might send her a text becaue I know she’s thinking about them.

    • anon

      I remember, but don’t do anything to mark, the day of death of my dad.

      I take my kids out for a treat, generally at a place my dad loved/would have loved on his birthday, and talk about him fondly.

      I want his memory to be a happy one for my kids, who were too young to remember much about him.

    • Monday

      My Dad died in 2008, and we were close. Usually, I just mentally acknowledge him on his birthday. But I also read cards (Tarot/Lenormand), and this year, I actually asked “Happy Birthday, Dad! Do you have anything to say to me?” He came through loud and clear via the reading! I will probably do it again in the future.

    • Jules

      My father died in 2018 and for the first couple of years after on his birthday (a few months later), his wife, kids and grandkids met at one of his favorite local spots and had his favorite cocktail. The next year was COVID and my sisters and I shared photos of all of us having a drink in his honor, but the fourth year just passed and that tradition has pretty much faded. It was a nice way of easing into the loss, I think. Our mother – they were divorced for 40 years by the time he died but were amicable in the later years – still sends us a text on his birthday. I don’t think about the anniversary of his death, for whatever reason; on the first anniversary, our mother texted something like “thinking of all of you today,” and it took me a while to realize what she meant.

    • Anon

      If it occurs to me, I’ll probably toast with a drink but it doesn’t always occur to me.

      2 of my 3 grandparents had holiday birthdays so it’s easier to remember, but not always top of mind. They’re also drinking holidays (St. Patrick’s and NYE) so I’m likely to have a fun drink anyways.

      I don’t go to church anymore, but when I did I would light a candle on my visit closest to a birthday.

    • cat socks

      My dad passed away unexpectedly in 2020. For the anniversary of his passing, I’ve spent the day with my mom so she is not by herself. For his birthday, the past couple of years we have gone out to dinner just to remember him and commemorate the day.

    • Bette

      Sometimes on their birthday we celebrate/remember by making their favorite cake or food or cocktail. This year we also start celebrating Dia de los Muertos – we set up an altar with pictures and mementos and candles, and also invited our friends over for a feast featuring all our departed loved ones’ favorite items. It’s quite a weird meal – paella, farm grown tomatoes, donuts, vodka martinis, etc – but really special and a fun way to remember them and feel close to their spirits for a night.

    • Anon

      My mom could grow anything. She loved gardening and hummingbirds, so each May on her birthday I pick up a huge flowering fuchsia and enjoy it all summer long.

    • Anon

      We honor our dead on All Souls’ Day, which is November 2. We put out their photos, light candles, tell stories about them, and may make their favorite foods or play music they loved. We also attend a requiem mass for All Souls at our church.

    • Anon

      My cousin died when we were 20. I’m not religious but our family is and my aunt found great comfort in the church. And so to remember him and to honor my aunt, I light a candle at church on his birthday. It makes me feel closer to them.

    • Anonymous

      My cousin was really good about getting those of us who lived nearby together on my grandma’s birthday to go out for ice cream together. My grandma loved ice cream and sometimes at restaurants would order ice cream for her dinner haha. She was born in late August and so it was nice to go get ice cream during the heat of summer. Then COVID hit and we haven’t done it since. But this reminds me that I should see if my cousins want to again.

    • Anon

      People in my life die on my birthday, starting with my grandfather on my 13th birthday, then my first boyfriend on my 16th birthday, and continuing on through the years. Literally everyone I have lost that mattered to me has died on my birthday. I dread that day each year and spend it at the cemetery where most of them are buried.

    • Anon

      In my culture we have a memorial at the church on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. Usually 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years and so on. We also light a candle at the cemetery. I like to do something to remember the loved ones on their birthdays and and anniversaries- just as a nod that I haven’t forgotten them.

      Sadly, my FIL died 5 years ago (anniversary of death is coming up at the end of this month), and my husband’s whole family never talks about him and probably won’t do a thing to remember him. It makes me so sad. He was a great father and husband but my MIL is so resentful that he “left” her by dying first that she has never gotten over it. It’s oddly like she’s “mad” at him for dying(??). My husband doesn’t say much because he doesn’t want to upset his mom. Regardless, I feel like it’s tragic to have a parent who provided so much love and joy to his family just completely erased and not remembered. I am tempted to ask to do a memorial service at my church, but we were not of the same religion so it feels a little weird.

  3. Anonymous

    Anon for this – is it possible these days to have a discussion with a dr and have that discussion NOT be logged in Epiq for all your other doctors to see? Having some anxiety issues which I’ve ignored for a while but it’s getting to be a problem. Mostly health related anxiety. I’d like to discuss with my PCP who I like – she is careful without being overboard regarding interventions on things – yet is there any way to have that discussion off the record? She’s generally someone I can talk to given that she’s near my age too.

    Reason I ask is that I also see a cardiologist for a problem that I’ve had for a while, and TBH that’s part of the reason for the health anxiety, though not entirely there are other issues too. In a perfect world I’d talk to the cardiologist about this, but reality is he’s a man of a certain age at a major health system and he can be dismissive of things that aren’t cardiology issues and with things like mental health you get a – of course you’re nervous – type of brush off. Obviously if I were to take a med that’d be in my file and I’m not trying to hide that. But the exploring of options, discussing what’s going on part – IDK I’d rather not have my chart flagged with ANXIETY given that I deal with this cardiologist and other cardiologists and while the younger gen is different, many of the older crowd who has the years of substantive experience – so you want to deal with them – are like my cardiologist, so IDK I feel like I’d risk being labeled a hysterical woman for all future cardio issues.

    This is no longer possible with electronic records, right?

    • Monday

      I have left things out of patient’s records upon request, and this should be doable for you too. Unless she’s making a referral or writing a prescription, she can allow a topic to go un-documented as long as there’s not a liability concern (which this shouldn’t be). When someone has asked me up front if they can have a convo with me that is not documented, I say yes on the above conditions, and also as long as nothing they say triggers mandated reporting or emergency hospitalization (which this shouldn’t either). I’d ask in advance to check.

      There’s also a “wall” in Epic that divides mental health records from medical. However, if you’re talking to your PCP and this went in your notes from that visit, you’re right that it would likely be visible to other medical providers.

    • Anon

      I totally hear what you are saying. I have even had similar thoughts for my own health care.

      The one tricky thing is that stress/anxiety and the treatments for them can have a pretty significant on cardiovascular health and can exacerbate many health conditions. And visa-versa. So in an ideal world, it is a shame to “hide” that issue from this type of doctor (cardiologist) in particular.

      And your particular combination of complaints are incredibly common. it sounds like none of your doctors have told you this. It is the less common person who has a cardiovascular condition that does not have some sort of impact on mental health because of it, and several cardiovascular conditions that affect blood pressure/heart rate/heart rhythm can CREATE a feeling of stress/anxiety/depression when they are unstable. Literally one of the treatments for an anxiety related condition – performance anxiety – is a cardiovascular drug that decreases heart rate and blood pressure.

    • NYNY

      There is an option in Epic to mark a note as sensitive, which prevents it both from being released to the patient, but also prevents it from being seen by other providers. So if your PCP marked the note from this conversation as sensitive, only she would be able to read it.

      I’d add that talking to your PCP about anxiety isn’t necessarily something the cardiologist will look at. Specialists – and especially cardiologists – are notorious for being uninterested in your health outside of the part or system they are treating.

      • Anon

        Conditions like orthostatic intolerance and POTS are frequently misdiagnosed as anxiety, so I would hope a decent cardiologist would pay attention.

    • anon

      I don’t blame you for wanting the discussion omitted. I’ve had male doctors blame unrelated physical issues on anxiety. If your cardiologist is dismissive I suggest you request a copy of your medical record after an important doctor or hospital visit. You might have to pay for a hard copy but it’s worth it. You’d be shocked how much incorrect or incomplete information is in there.

      • Anonymous

        Once something is in, it’s very hard to get removed. I had a primary physician prescribe an antidepressant for a period of a few months (probably less than 6 months? when I was in a miserable job. That was )more than 25 years ago and no problems since and no one will remove “depression”–I’ve been told it has to be the doctor who first documented.

    • Trixie

      I wonder if you should look for a younger, female cardiologist. You may feel more comfortable with her, and you might not get brushed off.

      • Anonymous

        TBH there aren’t THAT many female cardiologists to begin with and even less for my specific need and those that are there are VERY young. Right now I prefer to be with someone who has been doing this about as long as I’ve been alive and in that generation, it’s almost entirely men. I really like the cardiologist overall and completely trust him, but as someone above points out, he isn’t all that interested in anything outside his body system. As the years go by, there will be more and more experienced female cardiologists and they’ll specialize in all things so I expect this switch to naturally happen. Right now it feels like those that are out there almost invariable deal with heart issues in pregnancy related situations which isn’t my particular need.

    • Anon

      I’m not sure about the privacy thing. I have “Depression” listed as one of my diagnoses in my electric medical records, I see it every time I get an after-visit report from my rheumatologist, and I have no idea why. I’ve suffered from anxiety at times but I’ve never been diagnosed with depression and I’ve never taken antidepressants. That diagnosis will follow me around for my entire life – and yes, there’s no reason my rheumatologist would need to see it, but he’s clearly seeing it since I get it on my printout every single visit.

      • Kay

        Have you requested your provider remove it, or flagged in the system that there is an inaccuracy? It is possible to have diagnoses removed and to have corrections made. I have sent in corrections to my record and had my record updated with the correct information.

  4. Anon Pls

    Since you all have such great travel advice, I thought I’d ask what if anyone has any suggestions for where to go in Europe. Traveling in and out of Heathrow from LA on July 10 through July 25. We have a wedding in Cambridge from July 18 to July 22. Otherwise, we’re up in the air about where to travel in Europe from July 10 through 18. We were thinking of spending a day or two in London on the front and back end of the trip, but are up in the air otherwise. We were discussing Edinburgh, Paris (bf is French so not necessary for him but I’ve never been), Dublin, etc. We’d rather spend some time in an area versus a day here and a day there where you end up seeing the landmarks, but nothing else. We also don’t want to spend an arm and a leg since bf is currently between jobs. Thanks for any suggestions in advance!

    • Anon

      If you are trying to save money but still have a great time, head to Eastern Europe. Krakow, Prague, Budapest will be cheaper and still be great experiences.

      • Dobosh Torte

        If you go to Budapest, please please make sure to eat a slice of Dobosh torte at least once a day and see which one is the best of your trip!

        • Anon

          Ugh how did I not know about this when I went to Budapest? Now I have to go back.

    • Anon

      I don’t have a very high tolerance for hot weather, but a lot of Europe is too hot for me in July. Keep in mind air conditioning isn’t standard over there. Personally I’d stick to the UK and Ireland (I think you could do a great one week Ireland itinerary) or go to the Alps, although a lot of the mountain areas (especially Switzerland) can be pricey. There are also quite a few cruises that leave from Southampton England and cruising is usually budget-friendly.

    • Emma

      I really like Scotland. Edinburgh is fun and you can take some day trips in the area (although if you want to do the highlands that’s a bigger trip). Weather should be nice in July. Ireland is beautiful, but to be honest I found Dublin cute but not the place I would spend a whole week in, I think Ireland lends itself to more of a road trip experience. Would it be meaningful for your BF to take you to France if you’ve never been? It doesn’t have to be Paris depending on where he’s from.

    • Anon

      I would do Paris and the surrounding areas if you haven’t been and like French things, unless BF is dead set against it. You’ll have nice weather and good food is relatively affordable. Spain, Italy, Croatia, Greece and Portugal will have great food and nice weather but might be too hot in late July. Edinburgh will likely be cold and rainy although possibly nicer than other parts of the year.

    • Clementine

      I would do Normandy (esp Mont Saint-Michel). My dream would be to bike tour in France, but would also love to rent a flat by the Sea in Spain. A smaller city like Salou would be a dream.

    • Anon

      I would spend all that time in Scotland, but that is one place on Earth I can go and visit year after year. Hiking in the Highlands, roaming around castles, vacated beaches. Plenty options.
      If you want to see sth else, I second the CEE countries. I love Prague and there are plenty of national parks to do hikes in 2-3hr driving distance.
      Poland is rich in history, I love the vibe of Warsaw (great foodie scene, museums), Wroclaw has great architecture and vibe, worth 2-3 days. Gdansk was another favorite of mine with a nearby trip to the moving dunes national park.
      Budapest is good for 3 days max and personally, I vote with my wallet and that says no to Orban and his government.
      You could also do Vienna, Salzburg, hikes in the Alps.

      • Cb

        I did my MA in Krakow and it is such a good city. Warsaw is less beautiful but super cool.

    • Cb

      Dublin is hugely expensive (and she says with fierce Edinburgh loyalty, Edinburgh but less pretty). I think Eastern Europe is a great shout for bang for your buck. Cheap budget flights, etc.

      Also would you be open to doing something like home exchange? We are staying in Europe this summer, whilst others stay in our house.

    • Anon

      If you want to stay in the UK, Lake District or Scotland. It’ll be lovely and low risk of heatwaves vs continental Europe.

  5. Anonymous

    TW – weight loss / tracking

    what is everyone using to track calories and so forth right now? MFP, WW, something else?

    • Anon

      Not tracking weight loss, but I track a bunch of nutrients in Cronometer. I just have the free version, but it’s easy to use.

    • No Face

      I really enjoyed Lose It. I stopped tracking after my lifestyle was firmly changed, but was very useful and pleasant to use.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t find tracking calories at all helpful, but I did find tracking food helpful. I just kept an Evernote, honestly, and it was easier than any app I have tried. Of course it does not aggregate data, but that wasn’t my goal.

    • Anon

      MacroFactor. The macro targets it gives me are dead on, the program is very customizable, and it’s based on realtime data rather than estimates. Also if you track weight in it, the weight trend takes the anxiety out of normal weight fluctuations.

    • Anonymous

      I use WW and as much as I hate to admit it, it really works. I don’t do well with restriction so I love the “eat as much as you want as long as it’s these types of foods. Other stuff is fine too, just moderate.”

      WW is also super easy because it’s so widely used that I rarely run into a food that isn’t already entered.

      • Anonymous

        After years of distrust for WW, and general dislike of tracking — MFP, I signed up for WW this week. I really like it so far! I find the interface really easy to use, and the points system is working for me. It’s early, but it feels like a sustainable lifestyle change. I recommend!

    • Senior Attorney

      I signed up for LoseIt after somebody here recommended it, and although it seems to be objectively better I have reverted to My Fitness Pal because that’s what I’ve been using for years and I’m just used to it.

  6. Anon

    Recommendations for comfortable but somewhat cute walking shoes? I have a weekend in NY and a week in Paris coming up in March and April. Anticipate lots of city walking. I have gym shoes, sandals and flats but feel like I have a hole in my shoe wardrobe for less workout looking but super comfortable and supportive shoes. I also have problem feet and almost always end of with feet problems on vacations (from wearing my cute shoes when I shouldn’t be…). I was looking at Allbirds maybe but are they worth the price? And there are so many styles to choose from.

    • Clementine

      Allbirds are fantastic. I was looking for a similar pair of shoes and tried Supergas (too wide for my feet), retro style asics (just didn’t look right), Olukai slip-ons (fine, but I wouldn’t walk in them all day), and AllBirds are the winner for comfort.

      There’s actually an AllBirds store in Manhattan where I bought my shoes. Was it an act of desperation when my feet were sliding around those Supergas and coudn’t take it anymore? 100%. And absolutely worth it.

    • Anon

      I have had seven pairs of Allbirds (five in current rotation) and they are absolutely worth the price (for me). I walked all over Rome, Madrid and Barcelona in them with no foot issues at all.

      I currently have the Wool loungers (my inside shoe), the Tree Pipers as my every day shoe, the Mizzle runners in wool for wet weather, and the Tree Dashers for longer walks. The only ones I did not like were the Skippers because they do not stay on my feet. And their flats are very comfortable but read as very, very casual.

      But the question will be whether they work for your foot. Their customer service is good but they also have actual stores in some places.

    • Anokha

      I bought AllBirds (tried on in store in SF) and promptly wore them out of the store and (literally) walked 10K. No blisters. I adore mine and am now an evangelist.

    • Cat

      I like Cole Haan Grandpros for this. Not THE most supportive but so lightweight I forget they’re on.

    • OP

      You convinced me on the Allbirds – I just ordered the Wool Runners in one of the sale colors (Matterhorn?). Cole Haan are hit or miss for me.

    • Anon

      The most comfortable shoes on my problematic feet are Skechers. Not the most stylish but they have options that don’t look like gym shoes.

      But I will say, everyone in NY and Paris is wearing sneakers so you won’t look out of place if you do.

    • Bette

      I am a fan of Allbirds for this, but also have really been loving my Everlane court sneakers lately for a more fashionable but still super comfy look.

    • eh230

      It’s probably too late, but I love, love, love, my Vionic Pismo sneakers. I also have problem feet (wide due to bunions, flat footed, narrow heels), and I can walk all day in these.

    • Beth

      Vionic or Naot both make attractive and basically orthopedic shoes. They are not cheap but I was able to wear both after repeated foot surgery without issue.

      Also Empress shoes are adorable and extremely comfortable.

  7. Fallen

    I had asked about an espresso machine a week ago. I got the breville barista express impress which I am super excited about! What are your favorite coffee beans? Have been doing Nespresso forever and forgot what the good coffee is. I like darker roasts in general. Really hoping this is the upgrade I have been looking for

    • Anonymous

      I like Blue Bottle. You can order a sampler pack and choose your favorite roast, then subscribe for regular deliveries.

    • Anon

      I use Illy but haven’t tried their darker roasts. But Illy or Lavazza are classics. If you’re grinding your own beans, you could try any dark roast third wave bean. If there is a roaster near you, this could be an excuse to try them out!

    • anonshmanon

      I buy Peet’s Major Dickasons roast for espresso. I get the big bags at Costco.

    • FP

      I got the same machine a few months ago and have tried lots of places – but I came to the conclusion that fresh roasted beans have a much, much better taste – and I couldn’t get very fresh by shopping at Target or Costco. I ended up joining a local coffee place’s shipment club and I think it’s worth it.

  8. Anonymous

    I am taking DH to a GP tomorrow. The nominal reason for the visit is rosacea. The reason I’m going is that his anxiety has latched on to rosacea and he’s in a very bad spot mentally. He has a little rosacea, but people in a good mental place do not suggest that their spouse and kids would be better off without them because of mildly imperfect skin. I’ve told him I want to address his mental state but I don’t think he hears me. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle it, particularly if he wants to leave the appointment. I believe he will be very resistant to medication, but I need him to try something.

    • MD Appts

      Maybe prepare some questions to ask the GP that will prompt the GP to ask DH questions about his rosacea and how he feels about it and how it affects his life. Goal: get GP to give DH a referral to a therapist.

    • No Face

      That definitely sounds like depression talking. Let him talk about the other medical issues with the doctor first, then say you have a question. “I’m concerned about his mental health because if X, Y, and Z.” What do you recommend?

      • Anon

        And in an ideal world…. you would even share with the doctor what your husband said… looking directly into the doctor’s eyes as you say this. Showing concern. Maybe a tear.

    • Anon

      Is your husband okay with you attending the appointment with him? If he does not want you there, his privacy is going to trump your concerns.

    • Anonymous

      You can definitely ask to see the doctor privately or have the nurse pass a note to the doctor in your place. Your doctor can’t talk with you about your husbands concerns without permission, but you can certainly talk to him.

    • Anon

      I will say that rosacea sucks, particularly ocular rosacea. It’s much more than mildly imperfect skin. Not saying your husband is being rational but I would try to not be dismissive of his concerns either.

  10. Anon

    OMG I just tried on all my jeans to see what fit. They fit but the rise often ends an inch or so below my belly button and I feel so nekkid. And it’s not a pretty look to tuck in shirts. 2023’s higher roses are much better if you are tucking in and wow — it turns out that I have a waist. And no muffin top if in my recent purchases.

    • anon

      See, and I cannot get used to the look of high-rise pants with a tucked-in shirt, on myself. I think it looks adorable on others but there’s something about the combination that reads Steve Urkel on me.

      • Clementine

        and here is where I’m going to jump in and share the biggest lesson I learned from RuPaul’s drag race: Maybe it fits but it’s just not the right proportion for you.

        I am tall and curvy and a high waist with a tucked in top makes me look and feel polished. My BFF is shorter but has average length legs and a very short torso. The same look on her doesn’t work because of the proportion.

        • Anon

          +1

          Exactly. All of our bodies are different. You just have to find the right proportions for you.

          My true waist is very high, and I’m a pear, so high waisted just looks like a cartoon character.

          • Anonymous

            Right. I’m sort of apple shaped without a waist so this only works of the pants wide enough to balance out my broad shoulders. (Im throwing this out if anyone of similar proportions is struggling but keeping in mind every body is different)

      • shananananana

        yep, love the look on other people but as a short torso large chested lady, I cannot stand it on myself.

    • Anonymous

      Care to share your recent purchases? I agree the tucked in look is not great with normal-to-me rise jeans, they need to hit you at the waist. I’m still searching for the right fit unfortunately.

  11. Anon 2.0

    Can anyone recommend any good podcasts or Youtube channels regarding speaking? I’d love to find some resources (preferably free) regarding how to improve phone skills, public speaking, speaking with authenticity, etc.

    • Davis

      I love Viv Groskop’s podcast “How to Own the Room”! I haven’t read her book, but she has great interviews and tips.

    • Anonymous

      Google “How to Speak” youtube with Professor Patrick Winston. It’s a one hour MIT open course lecture. Winston is a real gem.

    • Speaking resources

      “Think Fast, Talk Smart” by Matt Abrahams

      “Speak as a Leader” by Nausheen Chen

      Both^^ also share a lot on social media, blogs, etc. for free as well.

  12. Anonymous

    Does anyone have experience starting Synthroid? My doctor gave me the basic wait after taking it to eat but curious about others experiences.

    • JTM

      I’ve been on it for 2yrs. My routine is to take it as soon as the alarm goes off, so I always have my pill bottle & a water bottle on my bedside table. I typically don’t eat until ~2hrs after I’ve taken my dose in the morning. When you start taking it, you may see a change in your menstrual cycle – I ended up with about 45 days between periods which is long for me. Otherwise no other symptoms or issues, and it solved so many other problems for me (energy level, brittle hair & hair falling out, inability to lose weight no matter what I did).

    • Anon

      I too keep water and the pills on my bedside table and take it as soon as I sit up. I know some people take it at night, but I found I was much more likely to forget or eat to close to it or something.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been on it for 11 years. Like the others here, I take it the moment I wake up. Definitely follow your doctor’s directions about eating at least until you see how things go (at this point, for me there is no effect if I don’t wait very long before I eat). I found it noticeably increased my energy!! If you are or become pregnant you may need to change the dose – for me I went up during pregnancy but after my second pregnancy needed to markedly reduce the dose. Expect to check your blood levels more frequently at first and less frequently as time goes on.

    • Anonymous

      Another one here who puts the pill and glass of water on my nightstand. I tend to have waking periods after 4 a.m. so I typically take my pill then and go back to sleep. Then I have several hours before I eat breakfast. Per my endocrinologist’s advice, I also switched my vitamin intake to later in the day so as to not interfere with my medication. He advised at least 4 hours.

    • anon

      I’ve been taking it for over to years now. I take it first thing in the morning. I haven’t had any issues/side effects with it.

    • Anon

      I had to switch to the Tirosint formulation because I have a lot of GI issues that affect absorption, but that’s a me problem. The med itself I had no issues with. Sometimes it has taken some work to sort out the best dose.

    • Anon

      My kid has been in it since birth. You can also chew the pills. We had to crush and mix with water when she was a baby.

  13. Anon

    Q from this now-shaken-up childless aunt on mom duty.

    Kid 1, age 13, had a dentist appt at 11:45 for a regular cleaning.

    Kid 2 had a different appt at 12:00 20 mins away. It’s for a kinda urgent thing and this is when they could fit him in today.

    My plan is to drop Kid 1 off at the dentist, run Kid 2 to appt, run back and get Kid 1, run back and get Kid 2.

    I take Kid 1 to the dentist. “Hi, this is (gestured to child) First Last here for his appointment.” “Ok, and who are you?” “I’m his aunt.” “You’re not allowed to check this child in; only the parent is.” Uh, well, that seems weird moment to get legal, but whatever, see if you can reach my sister. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking on me getting Kid 2 to his appt. The receptionist gets ahold of my sister and finally takes Kid 1 back, and I go to leave. Receptionist sees me walking toward the door and hollers, “Ma’am, where are you going?!” “To take Kid 2 to his appointment, I’ll be back in about 40 mins.” “You can’t leave your child here!!!” “Ok, well, give him to me, I’ve gotta go.” “You can’t, he’s already in treatment.” “Ok, well, I’ve still gotta take Kid 2. I’ll be back.” I leave.

    Kid 1 calls me shaken up about 15 minutes later that they have pulled him out of his treatment and told him they’re going to call the police and child services if I don’t come back and get him. WTF?! I tell him to just leave the office and go sit outside. (It’s a nice day here.) He says they are physically surrounding him and he can’t leave. WHAT THE EVER LIVING EFF.

    I’m so mad that my nephew was so scared and shaken up. Who says that to a child?!But besides that this whole thing seems mind-bogglingly unreasonable. Gobsmacked is maybe a good descriptor. But, did I break parenting commandments that I didn’t know about?? I swear I’m not a negligent aunt!

    • Anonymous

      People don’t like to take “custody” of kids. I don’t have kids but immediately flinched at you leaving the kid alone at the dentist, for this reason, not because it is unsafe for the child

      • Anon

        This. There’s no reason a 13 year old isn’t fine on his own, but I do understand why the dentist’s office isn’t okay being left in charge of him. Add on the fact that there may be medical decisions to be made and bills to be paid, and I definitely see why it’s a problem. Did your sister not anticipate this?

      • Anon

        Yup, this isn’t surprising to me. A 13 year old is plenty old enough to be unsupervised for an hour, but other people don’t want to be responsible for your kid, barring some formal agreement for them to do that (school, babysitter, camp, etc.). Telling the kid to go outside when they’re not letting him leave makes them more likely to call CPS I think!

      • Anon

        My 16-year-old is not a legal adult but for his last two dentist appointments, he drove himself there, they treated him, and I never even set foot in the building. I had signed a “consent to treat” form when we joined the practice and gave them a heads up that he might bring himself to appointments in the future, and they had zero issue with it. Maybe there’s a wide gulf between a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old driver but legally I don’t think so? The dentist office’s reaction is baffling to me.

      • Anon

        That is ridiculous. My kid walked to the orthodontist without any parent present after school routinely when she was 12, as it was close to middle school, and many, many of the kids at that middle school did the same. Lest you think we are in some suburban oasis, that is decidedly not true. My kids’ school is considered an “inner city” school on every list I’ve ever seen discussing urban/inner-city schools.

    • anonshmanon

      I went to my own dentist appointments at 13 years old, I’m pretty sure.

      • Anon

        I wonder if it somehow seems worse to be dropped off than to walk or take public transit there on one’s own? Or if the world has just changed this much!

        • Anon

          This is what I was going to say. If you show upon your own, it’s one thing. If the aunt leaves the kid there, she’s transferred care to the dentist and now they’re responsible. This understandably freaks them out, as they don’t have the ability to babysit until she comes back.

      • Anon

        Things have changed vastly in the last 20 years. I was left home alone for ~an hour when I was 6. I was a responsible kid and it was fine. You can lose your kids for that today, especially if you’re not white.

        • Anecdata

          A big part of this one is the medical setting thing too — not sure why it’s different but it is. Even nowadays it would be wildly unusual for eg. a grocery store or a library to threaten to call CPS over a 13 year old

    • No Face

      Ah, yes the difficulties of modern parenting. We aren’t just being high maintenance! People escalate to 100 over nothing and the scheduling is difficult.

      Gently, they told you that you could not leave Kid 1 there. I don’t fault you for not realizing ahead of time. Next time check policies before making the plan. Rescheduling the regular cleaning for the urgent thing was probably the way to go.

      Sorry that was such a bad experience!

      • anon

        They told her, but then they refused to give Kid 1 back to her when she said she had to prioritize the other appointment. Then they stopped Kid 1’s treatment anyways and harassed her. They should have just sent Kid 1 back when she said they needed to leave.

    • Clementine

      Ahhh yes. The totally irrational ‘I’m gonna call CPS’ threat.

      Yeah, these places are super risk averse and basically refuse to understand that humans might have more than one thing to get done. 13 is old enough to be left alone in my personal opinion, but going forward, I would call ahead and confirm it’s okay for them to stay there alone.

      • Clementine

        Also, if there was a night to bright your niblilngs out for Mexican food and to laugh off an awful day, today is that day.

    • Anonymous

      I’m kind of surprised that the mom didn’t realize this would be an issue — my dad watches my son a lot and we’ve had to fill out all sorts of special paperwork so my dad could take my son to the doctor occasionally. I also can’t believe they didn’t call the mom before they pulled the kid — she could have given oral consent. (Maybe.)
      https://legalbeagle.com/6919938-laws-minors-seen-dental-office.html

      That said: half of the people working at these establishments are snippy AF and if you pissed one of the high and mighty secretaries off, watch out.

      • Anon

        Yeah my mom takes my kid to the doctor and it is A Thing. It’s super complicated to have any child under the age of 18 accompanied by a person who is not their legal guardian.

        • Seventh Sister

          Some days I miss everything about my kids’ elementary school, but I do not miss the snippy attendance secretary that greeted everyone with a snarl and was an absolute a-hole about documentation for absences, even over COVID.

    • anonmi

      A 13 year old should be fine to be left at the dentist for a few minutes by themself. I’ve dropped my 10 year old off at the door of the dentist when we were running late, he was able to go inside and get started while I parked. The office handled this very, very strangely.

      • Anon

        Sending a kid in a few minutes early while you park the car is totally different than what OP did (leaving the kid there to take another kid to an appointment that presumably takes a least half an hour and potentially much longer). I agree a 13 year old is old enough to be alone, but it also makes sense to me that the dentist office freaked out.

      • Vicky Austin

        I wonder if OP had sent him in alone, it would have been better? I suspect the receptionist’s hackles were already up when OP admitted to not being kid’s actual parent.

        • Anon

          A dentist will not see a 13 year old who arrived at an appointment alone (I mean fully alone, not “parent is parking the car” situation). They need a parent or authorized guardian to make medical decisions, sign forms and pay bills for anyone under the age of 18. I see high school seniors accompanied by parents at our pediatric dentist. It’s not about the kid being too young to be alone, it’s about needing a legal guardian present for certain medical and legal things.

          • anonshmanon

            it was a regular dental cleaning though. No urgent decisions are made at those. I guess this is the reality we live in, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense.

          • Anon

            That has not been my very recent experience at all. This is not universally true.

          • Anon

            I’ve been to dentists where they find cavities at cleanings and offer to fill them on the spot. It’s certainly not an emergency where kid is going to die if mom isn’t there in 15 minutes to sign something, but I wouldn’t say “no decisions are made” at regular cleanings.

          • Anon

            Never get a cavity filled on the spot; always get a second opinion. It’s a bonus if there’s an excuse for not making the decision right there and then.

          • Anon

            If it’s a new dentist, I agree with get a second opinion for sure. But if it’s a trusted dentist that you know to be cautious and not aggressive about drilling, it’s not necessary to get a second opinion. My dentist is very un-aggressive about drilling (something I’ve experienced myself and also that I’ve confirmed with other dentists in the community) so if he says I need work I take it seriously and I wouldn’t run out and get a second opinion. That would just be a waste of time.

      • Anon

        And you can’t see how parking the car is different than driving 20 minutes (40 round trip) to drop off the other kid?

    • Anon

      You shouldn’t have left your nephew there alone when they told you they don’t allow it. They don’t want to be responsible which is understandable IMO. His mom should have better guided you about the logistics on getting both to their appointments. However, the dentist office was completely out of line for mentioning CPS and scaring your nephew. They could have stopped treatment and had him wait in the waiting room. If I was the mom I’d try to find a new dentist.

      • anon

        And they should have stopped treatment immediately when OP told them they needed to leave for Kid 2’s appointment! The fact that they said it was “too late” to leave because he was already in treatment, then stopped treatment and threatened to call CPS after OP left, is absurd.

    • Bbanon

      Yeah, you’re not dropping a kid off at a daycare. Minors often need to be accompanied by an adult. Different offices may have different policies in reality, but it’s not an unreasonable/uncommon ask.

    • pugsnbourbon

      They definitely overreacted, but I’m trying to see it from their perspective. A non-custodial adult brings a kid in for an appointment and dips with another kid – it’s odd. And they may have thought they were opening themselves up to liability by letting the kid go outside. It sounds like you were in a tough spot, but I’d chalk it up to lessons learned (and maybe find a different dentist).

      • anon

        If you look at it from the office’s POV, it was a very odd situation. However, they certainly were out of line in scaring your nephew.

    • Trish

      I understand why they didn’t want you to leave but the dentist office over-reacted BIG TIME. The kid isn’t five years old. Please write to the Free Range Mom, Lenore Skenazy. Google her.

      • Anon

        I think it’s less about being free range and more about that children who are under 18 don’t have the legal right to make medical and financial decisions for themselves and the dentist wants their parent or guardian present to do that. I’m not a helicopter parent at all, but I wouldn’t expect to be able to leave a kid at the dentist.

    • anon a mouse

      I don’t know about the illegal part, but you can’t just leave a kid unattended at a medical appointment. I understand the logistical challenges here, but you should have rescheduled Kid 1’s appointment if Kid 2 had an urgent matter.

      • anon

        +1. They didn’t handle it well with your nephew, but they weren’t wrong for telling you that you couldn’t just leave and come back later.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve brought my own to the dentist at that age and got “we need you to stick around”… it’s a liability thing.
      Honrestly, I’m wondering why mom didn’t reschedule routine dental cleaning because that’s a tight window even if you’d had no issues dropping the kid off…

    • Anonymous

      They told you that you couldn’t leave the kid, and you walked right out and did. From their standpoint, they are now left with a minor.

      What if the kid sneezed as he was being worked on and somehow got injured and needed to go the the ER?

      A 13 year old can babysit but they cannot consent to their own medical treatment. It’s not about his ability to be alone, it’s that he was getting medical care at the time.

    • Anne-on

      They definitely overreacted but no, you cannot just leave a kid on their own for a medical appointment/dental/eyecare appointment. They require a guardian to be there to make medical decisions in case something happens. Is it annoying when you have multiple kids? Yup. Would we have done this solo with a copy of a parent’s insurance card in the 90’s/00s? Yup. But this is the way things work now.
      Also, not to be snide, but realizations like this from people who are suddenly confonted with the realities of modern parenting are oddly satisfying. Like, no, every parent you know is not being dramatic about the difficulties of raising kids – there is SO much less of a community tolerance for allowing kids to be alone and yes, letting your 12 year old watch your 8 year old while you run a few errands can get CPS called on you. Ugh.

      • anon

        No kidding. My thoughts exactly. The logistics nowadays are so much different than anything our parents dealt with a generation ago.

      • Anon

        No kidding. My thoughts exactly. The logistics nowadays are so much different than anything our parents dealt with a generation ago.

        • Anon

          There are really two separate issues: can the child safely be left alone and will a doctor/dentist treat the kid without the parent present. I definitely find it weird and offensive that someone would call CPS for a 12 year old babysitting an 8 year old sibling (and I actually don’t think that’s true, even in 2023 – many 12 year olds I know are babysitting neighbor kids), but the dentist situation is different to me.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah you can’t just leave a kid. You needed to cancel one of these appointments or figure out other transportation

    • anon

      This is bizarre. I used to work in a pediatric dental office and parents would get a Starbucks down the block while their kid was being treated. 40 minutes is longer than a typical appointment up so I can understand them telling you to be back within 20 minutes to debrief with the dentist and collect the kid. But pulling him out of the chair mid-treatment is insane. There’s no reason to stop the procedure. Calling the cops is extreme as well.

    • Suzanne Stanton

      Australia here. Kids regularly go to dentists/orthodontists from School and the bill is sent to us later, and if there are issues to discuss the practitioner calls us. What you describe ie the drop off and pick up is perfectly normal for 13yo. You tried so hard and are a good aunt. Next time Mum needs to make some pre-calls to work this out.

    • Anon

      I’m not sure this is entirely a new thing. Not disputing that people have generally gotten more paranoid about children being left alone recently, but my mom went with me to the dentist until I was graduated from high school and that was the norm among all my friends and classmates too. I didn’t have helicopter parents (I was home alone every day after school starting when I was ~12).

    • Seventh Sister

      This sounds like someone on a total power trip and/or someone who recently got in trouble with their boss over a kid who was left unsupervised for some reason. I have kids, and this kind of thing has never been an issue for us, especially at the dentist. And a 13yo! That’s just ridiculous.

      • Seventh Sister

        Then again, I live in CA, where there are parts of my kids’ medical records that I’m not allowed to access after a certain (rather young) age, so I guess they are mostly interested in my presence in terms of getting paid. But the threat to call the police and CPS is over-the-top and kind of vicious.

    • Anon

      What state are you in? I wonder if there’s some kind of law on the books that they need to follow that would make them really sensitive to this situation. Not that the threat was warranted, although you really, really shouldn’t have left after they told you you couldn’t leave your nibling there.

    • Anan

      I have taken my friends’ kids to the dentist. I have dropped my 10 year old at the dentist and left. Particularly during COvId I wasn’t even allowed to stay.
      I will say, though, both times, the office was notified in advance. My friend called the dentist office, said, “My friend is bringing my kids to the appointment. Please call me for further billing or scheduling issues.”
      In my case I called the office and just explained, saying I could re-schedule or I could just drop the kid. The office assured me that I could just drop the kid off.
      I find the dentist’s office strangely overvigilent. Where I live a 13 year old can stay home by themselves so even if the dentist office’s policy is that they won’t treat him if the parent is ‘t present, there is no call for the threat to call the police or to prevent him from waiting outside.

  14. Easy Viewing

    I have a colonoscopy next week. I know from experience that I will be up all night in the bathroom and unable to focus enough to read the night before. Last time, I watched several seasons of Game of Thrones back-to back. Any suggestions for something that is engaging, not dark/upsetting and I won’t care that I wasn’t really paying rapt attention? TIA.

    • Anonymous

      Have you seen Ghosts (either Peacock or BBC)? Lots of fun. What We Do in the Shadows is also good. White Lotus is absorbing.

      Good luck on your colonoscopy! Lemon sorbet is your friend!

    • Vicky Austin

      I have no advice, but because I am twelve I have to commend you on your choice of a “throne”-based show for colonoscopy recovery.

      • Easy Viewing

        That was five years ago, and your joke never occurred to me. You did just make me laugh out loud.

    • Anon

      I LOVE Derry Girls. 3 seasons of ~6 episodes each on Netflix. It’s a group of 5 Irish teens in Northern Ireland during the troubles who actually look and act like dumb 14 year olds. Hilariously funny and very occasional heavy moments (typically last episode of the season…) Put on subtitles if you want to get most bang for your buck as i missed a lot of the jokes the first time around.

      Extraordinary on Hulu is 1 season and it’s set in a world where everyone gets superpowers when they turn 18, except our protagonist. It’s really funny and has a great ensemble cast. Pretty explicit at times in a very funny way (honestly the first few minutes of the first episode get you a pretty thorough flavor of it). Poignant at times but mostly funny/lighter.

  15. Paris with 7 year old

    Mom taking 7 year old to Paris in April here. I booked a hotel with a suite (two adjoining rooms) but realized looking at it today that it is much further from the center than I would like. I would love to be walkable to a lot of touristy things (we’re New Yorkers so used to a lot of walking). But of course the reason I booked that one is that the search for a hotel with adjoining rooms or at least a suite with two separate rooms is… painful.

    If anyone has advice for this or any other Paris-with-kid-who-is-not-a-toddler recs I would be happy to hear it!

    • Lily

      Why do you need a suite for yourself and a 7 year old? I’d just get a room with two beds or even a room with a single queen or king size bed… Is your concern that you stay up later than her?

      • Anon

        In my experience in Paris specifically, a room with two beds is a very American thing. It’s not common at all there, nor is a king sized bed.

        • Anon

          In my experience in Paris specifically, a room with two beds is a very American thing. It’s not common at all there, nor is a king sized bed.

        • Anon

          Two twin beds is pretty standard in Europe. In fact many “double” beds are two twins pushed together. My husband and I discovered this on our honeymoon to Greece when we technically slept in separate beds, lol.

      • OP

        My husband is also coming! Two adults and a kid for 7 nights in one room is a squeeze.

        • Anon

          We normally just get one hotel room for two adults and one elementary age kid in Europe, and it’s been fine. To me this is one of the big advantages of travel with an only child. It would be a lot more challenging with two kids.

          But if you want more space look for “junior suite.” That’s often a lot cheaper than a suite (and certainly than two hotel rooms) but will give you more space and a separate sleeping area (usually a couch) for the kid. In fact some hotels in Europe won’t let you book standard rooms for more than 2 people, and will make you upgrade to the junior suite.

    • Anon

      YMMV but once my kid turned 4 or so and was no longer napping, I didn’t really feel the need for separate rooms especially when traveling solo with her – we can share a double or queen bed in a standard hotel room just fine. I can use my phone in the dark after kid goes to bed, or I can go to sleep early and catch up on sleep. By age 7 the kid probably doesn’t even need that much more sleep than you do. Suites in Europe can be insanely expensive, so this is not something I’d prioritize except with a baby or toddler who needs like 16 hours of sleep a day.

      • NYCer

        +1. I would definitely prioritize location over a suite in these circumstances.

    • Anon

      You definitely want to be central in Paris – i.e. 1 – 8th arrondissements except the area immediately around train stations / Chatelet.

      I would have a look at aparthotels and airbnbs. Paris Perfect was in good locations and nice enough condition when I used them albeit pricey in the best of times, but probably cheaper than getting 2 bedrooms or a suite!

    • Anon

      Hotel Regina! Nice suites available and near the Louvre. Spring for the Eiffel Tower view if you can swing it.

      • Clementine

        We stayed there when I was 16 and it was my first ‘fancy hotel’ experience. 10/10.

        • Anon

          Yes – it runs something like $650-$700 a night for a standard room.

          For half that I rented an Airbnb is the 2nd that has a bedroom and a convertible couch in the living room. That is certainly an option if you need more room than the standard (tiny) Paris hotel room.

    • Anonymous

      I think the easiest way to find adjoining rooms is to look at the American chain hotels, or use the filter on booking dot com to find the ones that have adjoining rooms and then contact the hotel directly.

    • Emma

      Where is your hotel? I generally recommend staying pretty central because the center is super walkable. But if you’re on a good metro line it might be fine.

  16. Paging shopping cart browser

    To the person this morning who wanted one app to compare items – look at Moonsift

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