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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
So here's a topic of discussion for you: has the twinset totally disappeared, is it changing, or is it just on hiatus right now? I always thought of the twinset as a classic piece — which makes it so odd that it has all but disappeared in the 4+ years I've been doing the blog. Take, for example, this merino cardigan (available in lots of colors, some of them colorblocked) — as pictured it looks like the teal cami matches exactly, but if this were a proper twinset the cami would be merino wool as well. Still, it's nice to see — I think it's a put together, grab-and-go look that can work for a lot of women. And ah yes, it is on sale: the cardigan is $49.50, but you can take 40% off all original ticket prices at The Limited — and the “matching” cami is on sale (was $29.99, now $8.99 – $14.99), but you can also take an additional 40% off markdowns with code SAVE40. So the “twinset,” as pictured, comes out to $38.93. Merino Colorblock Cardigan
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-4)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Susedna
Threadjack: Tell me about something that’s done in another culture or another country that you really like.
Me: English Christmas Crackers. As an American born, raised, and living in the Northeast, and with zero English heritage in the family, I didn’t even know about this until much later in life*. Now that I know….I think it’s great fun to pull open these things with a BANG! (“crack?”) and get a silly foil/tin paper crown to wear on one’s head during Christmas.
*admittedly, I discovered this through that movie Bridget Jones’ Diary. There’s a scene with w/Bridget & her Dad with the paper crowns. I was curious and found out why they were wearing them, and more importantly, where to get them if you’re in the U.S. :-)
cc
Jewish weddings- I love the story about how the two people met. (2 out of 2 Jewish weddings did this so please correct me if it was just a coincidence) Both went into a detailed story about the two and how the met and feel in love.
Marilla
It’s not necessarily part of the tradition but often the rabbi will give a speech about the couple and incorporate how they met and how they exemplify certain good qualities etc. I think our rabbi did at our wedding. (I am Jewish and many of my non-Jewish friends wrote me afterwards to say how they loved some specific traditional elements of the wedding — like how all the women have a little cocktail party with the bride before the ceremony!)
Marilla
In moderation for c-tail – whoops.
It’s not necessarily part of the tradition but often the rabbi will give a speech about the couple and incorporate how they met and how they exemplify certain good qualities etc. I think our rabbi did at our wedding. (I am Jewish and many of my non-Jewish friends wrote me afterwards to say how they loved some specific traditional elements of the wedding — like how all the women have a little party with the bride before the ceremony!)
Susedna
I attended a Russian Jewish wedding that had the rabbi giving such a speech. It was so well done that I felt both happy and really teary-eyed listening to it.
The couple also made a gag video (shown during the reception) of “how they met.” It was so, so, funny and charming.
Ellen
Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love the cami! And it is NOT expensive, but the manageing partner does NOT like these styles, so I would NOT even ask him.
I cant WAIT until MINE! But I FIRST need to find a BOYFREIND! At this point I also would even take a KOSHER guy who was RELIGOUS, as long has he has a good job, does NOT have bad breathe, and would treat me RIGHT! FOOEY, b/c most guy’s I’ve met do NOT think of me as thier EQUAL.
I am NOT just a woman who is goeing to work hard all day as a lawyer, then come home and wait on my husband’s need’s. He can make his own tea, and get his own slipper’s!
My mom doe’s that for my dad, but she’s at home all day, so she can cook and do other thing’s around the house.
Roberta just sent over 17 new cases for me to try. One of them is in Queen’s, so I am goeing to have to go to a different court and I do NOT even know where that is! The manageing partner says he had a few cases over there and told me I should go ahead of time before I have to file my papers electronicaly. FOOEY! I do NOT even know the judge’s there. DOUBEL FOOEY.
TCFKAG
I like the Hora. Though frankly some sort of picking up of bride and groom seems to be more general to the region. I wanted to do that at my Irish-Mixed-up-Catholic wedding, but everyone nixed my idea. Apparently we’re not fun enough.
Senior Attorney
At my first (protestant) wedding many many years ago, we hired a band who did the picking-up-the-bride-and-groom thing without any warning. It was fun but sort of horrifying. Seems like that’s the kind of thing you might want to discuss with the client before the big day.
Merabella
That is hilarious, and terrifying.
Fiona
Wine by the half-liter at lunchtime! (Italy/France). And 2 hour lunches in general. And cheese for dessert. And dogs allowed in restaurants.
Scully
Yes! All totally awesome
JK
The office going out for a mid-day coffee together [Italy}
kerrycontrary
adding strawberry syrup or lemonade to beer (France). I also second the 2 hour lunches and eating cheese for dessert.
Chinarette
China: Wedding candy. After a couple gets married, they pass out wedding candy to all the guests. Nowadays, it often extends to the office, too. It’s like wedding favors here, but it’s always candy. So yummy. In all the offices I worked, a coworker would bring lots of it into the office after they got married. It’s always packaged very cute, too.
Marilla
I agree, I think Christmas crackers are adorable. Canadians have the same tradition. I discovered this at 18 when I was invited to a friend’s family Christmas and I felt like I was in a scene out of Harry Potter (but I generally think that Christmas is charming, as someone who does not celebrate).
Personally, I love Southeast Asian/Indian weddings. So beautiful, amazing colours, amazing clothing and jewelry, and so full of family and friends. When I was planning my wedding I always lingered on those photographs.
KC
Fun question!
I’m a big fan of pub culture. Having a local where you know the regulars and stop in for a pint after class/work is great.
Cb
Agreed. I desperately want a ‘local’ but live in a pretty student-y neighbourhood and they seem to be a bit more scarce.
Scully
Serving hot towels to wipe your hands before eating (Japan).
Maine Associate
Yes!
Kady
An enforced hour lunchtime (including half hour for a nap where all the lights in the office are turned off) – no “working through” lunch. Japan.
Anon
My company is based in Germany and they have full lunch hours at corporate, no working lunches or lunches in your private office. Everyone eats their lunch in the cafeteria, followed by coffee in a separate cafe. It sounds so lovely!
C
I can totally get behind this!
Cb
I had my first Christmas cracker this week. And office Christmas lunches that turn into Christmas drinks.
Woods-comma-Elle
One-month long summer vacations (France, Scandinavia)
AIMS
And paid maternity leave and free day care….
Nonny
Seconded, to both Elle and AIMS.
Alana
Thirded
a.
Hard to pick just one favorite! But I love the tapas culture here in Spain. Go out, have a glass of wine, nibble on something, go to a new bar, repeat. It’s a great, inexpensive way to try lots of local specialties, since the low price and small serving size encourages you to be more adventurous.
Anonymous
Those Dutch New Years “Ollie Balls” (deep fried dough in icing sugar). Best traditional food ever.
Rosie
In Spain it is traditional to treat friends to drinks or tapas or the like on one’s birthday, and to take pastries into the office to share. So, rather than the birthday girl waiting to be treated, she treats her friends and family.
I think the reason that I love it is that it makes you want to share that it is your birthday, because others will welcome being treated, as opposed to how in the U.S., people are sometimes reluctant to tell others that it is their birthday, lest the birthday girl be perceived as looking to be treated herself.
Kontraktor
1. Carrying plastic bags around in Russia. This is so useful/I still do it. There is a plastic bag hierarchy whereby plastic bags have status like purses. I will save nicer, heavier shopping bags from places like Bloomie’s, Nordy’s, C-wonder, etc. to use for carrying small items like a pair of heels to an outing.
2. Asking people if they are getting out next in the crowded subway in Russia. No idea why this is not done here. In Russia, subways are jam packed, so you ask the person in the pile in front of you, ‘Are you getting out,’ and if they don’t answer/say no, they step behind you so you can get in front of them. You keep asking this over and over until the person in front of you says yes, in which case you know everybody in front of you is exiting the train/bus. There is no confusion or pandemonium during exit. Why we do not do this here is beyond me.
Equity's Darling
The second thing is brilliant. I loved how in Munich, the S-bahn had people exit to the left, and enter on the right of the train, which seemed to encourage the smooth movement of people.
I hate how my city just cannot figure out how to use public transportation- for example, I missed my stop this morning because the train was crowded and the three people closest to the door failed to push the button to OPEN THE DOOR for all the people who needed to get off. Or how no one will get off to let others behind them off the train, and then get back on the train once everyone is off. Or how people stand in front of the door on the platform so people trying to get off the train can’t, as people are in the way. My city needs lessons on how to use public transportation.
cbackson
Oh man, if we could just get people to adopt the German/Austrian practice of standing right on the escalator when leaving the subway I would jump for joy. Sometimes I’m trying to hustle out of there, and I just want to yell “BITTE RECHTS STEHEN” in exactly the voice used on the Vienna Metro.
KC
This is an unofficial rule in DC. Most people are good about following it, but it only takes one person in the way to ruin the system…
AIMS
I am a one-woman crusade for this. Whenever someone stands on the left, I politely tell them that this side is for walking and the right side is for standing. Most people move over. Once, a woman told me she never heard such a rule and I sweetly told her, “well, now you know it so please move aside.” I realize this is perhaps all a bit obnoxious on my part but so is their behavior.
But seriously when I am mayor of all cities, I will give subway discounts for sitting through a subway etiquette class. Let people off before getting on, stand on the right, don’t take up two seats…
Anastasia
Ha, I’m a one-woman crusade for one seat per person! Together, we will change the Metro. :) I make a point to say, “excuse me, may I sit here please?” to people who are lounging sideways or have their bag on the seat rather than taking an empty seat next to someone who’s consolidated his stuff in his lap. I often get eyerolls, but maybe, MAYBE they’ll think about it next time. If you have a bunch of shopping bags or a huge bulky item, OK, but a briefcase or purse? put it in your lap and stop being a jerk.
L
AIMS, I would so vote for you.
Kontraktor
DC metro is… ok but not great in terms of this. People eff up the escalator thing ALL the time and it is SO obnoxious, espcially during rush hour (especially when you are stuck at the bottom of a super huge escalator and somebody 50 feet above you is standing in the walk aisle and blocking everything). Similar with the crowded trains… generally people are mediocre about stepping off to the side to let people off, but at the same time, I feel I have dealt with so many shocked people who seem so slighted when you push past them to get out/they don’t move. Seriously in Russia it is a system and pretty much you will die if you don’t follow it, as in the crowd will trample you because you are in the way. I suppose that has its negatives but it just makes crowded commutes so much easier.
Houda
My favorite things from the US:
– Whenever someone makes eye contact they smile, even if it’s awkward
– When you enter a shop they always say: Hi how are you
– I love how you are in a shop or restaurant and they keep checking on you: is everything OK? if you need anything let me know .. etc.
ML
I love this threadjack! I agree with the cheese for dessert, wine with lunch and tapas traditions. I also really like how in some middle eastern countries people still go home for a big afternoon lunch with the family before going back to work. I also love eating from a communal dish with hands/bread. Instantly makes you feel like family.
Also love how in Italy (and other European countries), the espresso bars double as alcohol bars. so genius to serve coffee in the morning, alcohol in the evening! Love it.
roses
Siestas. I really, really wish we had siestas.
Heather
Need advice – late last night I received a FB message from an (old) friend of mine from high school. We were very close then, but she married shortly after high school and I went off to college. I desperately tried to stay in touch with her, but she was never able/willing to get together or anything. So last night in her FB message she says “I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch, but I wanted you to hear this from me. My husband has left me and has been with other women. He has filed for divorce.” I was shocked and saddened for her, but I don’t know how to respond. It’s so hard to tell whether or not she’s reaching out for any kind of friendship (because most of the friends she did have, she lost after her marriage) or if she’s just desperate for someone to listen. With that said, I don’t want to brush it off and not respond, but I have NO idea what to say. They also have a 8-9 month old son, so I know she’s probably feeling so alone and worried for her future.
Any advice?
Fiona
I would respond with “I am so, so sorry to hear this. How are you doing? Is there anything I can do?” Leave it open-ended and let her tell you what she needs for support.
Legally Red
This. I found myself in a similar situation recently with a good friend from college who I’d lost touch with. My friend just needed someone to talk to who hadn’t also been friends with her husband.
MaggieLizer
I probably wouldn’t rekindle a friendship with someone who’s mid-crisis. If she wanted to have a genuine friendship with OP, she’s had plenty of opportunities to do so. Ime, a friend like this will take advantage of you as a shoulder to cry on and then distance herself when she gets back on her feet again. If OP is OK with being there for an old friend, great, but just don’t go into it hoping to be BFFs again after friend’s life normalizes.
Lucy
It’s also possible the dropping of the friendship had something to do with the husband, and missing the OP is one regret the woman has from her (now-failed) marriage.
Anonymous
I agree, and would definitely give your old friend the benefit of the doubt.
Bonnie
I think Fiona’s response is perfect. It’s possible that her husband was involved in the breakdown of your friendship. Worst case scenario, you have an awkward lunch or coffee meetup.
InfoGeek
I’d just reply and say I was shocked and saddened for her.
I wouldn’t necessarily offer to call or meet up. You could see what her response would be.
Woods-comma-Elle
One reason why she may be sending this is because she wants people to be aware so they don’t ask awkward questions like ‘hey, how’s the hubby’. I agree with above, just respond sympathetically so she knows you are there if she needs you and can get in touch if she wants to.
AN
Reach out to her. What have you got to lose? If positions were reversed, wouldn’t you want your message to be acknowledged with some human empathy?
Anon
I’m nursing right now and cardigans are my go-tos for work. Something about pumping in a suit just seems cumbersome. So, I really hope it’s not out but I will say that I’ve sort of changed up the look — I will often wear a blouse underneath a cardigan that has a few of the same colors or looks nice with the colors of the cardigan. I really do love the classic twinset but I’ve noticed my go-to stores are either not carrying them or have changed it up a bit.
K
For me, the twinset has disappeared. I find that I use blazers more than I use cardigans. I can’t remember when I last bought a twinset.
NOLA
It does read older. I’m also just not that conservative in my dress. I wear lots of tank/cardigan combinations but never twinsets.
JessC
I still use cardigans often (my office is business casual and I typically only wear blazers when going to court), probably 2-3 times a week. But I’ve never really liked the matchy-matchy feel of twinsets.
Susedna
Agree. I don’t love that the inset/cami part of the twinset is the exact same color as the cardigan part. I need more color variation. YMMV, though.
Emmabean
This may sound silly – but I had never heard of a thing called a twinset! I’m young though – I’ve been working in an office for about a year and a half – so that might explain it. I do wear cardigans though, and sometimes over a tank top, but never a matching one. I definitely agree that a blazer looks much more polished!
Meg Murry
I’ve never bought both pieces of a twinset – I had a couple my mother bought me 10+ years ago, but I tend to buy just the cardigan and wear it as an outer layer – colored cardigans over a neutral or same color family (dark blue cardigan over light blue shirt, for instance) or black cardigans over white shirts.
I think part of the reason I don’t buy both pieces is because the bottom layer is almost always sleeveless or a tanktop now, and/or too low cut. The 2 sets I actually used to wear AS twinsets were crewneck or high neck shortsleeves as bottom layers, not just sleeveless shells or camis – if I’m going to buy 2 pieces, I want to be able to take off the top cardigan if I’m hot, and a sleeveless shell/cami doesn’t give me that option. Another reason I don’t buy them is because I probably would break up the pieces more often than wear together, and if they started to wear unevenly/fade to different colors than I couldn’t pair them together.
For Emmabean – I know the term twinset, but if you were to show me a picture and ask me “what is this called” I would have said “sweater set” not “twinset” – do you know it under that name?
Meg Murry
Ugh, typos – black cardigans over colored shirts, *then* I couldn’t pair them together
-and probably more which I ‘m just going to apologize for and leave it at that. Ugh.
Emmabean
Hrm..not really. Now that both names have been mentioned, they make perfect sense (sweater set more so), but I’m not sure I would have called it that had someone shown me a picture yesterday.
Well I learned something new today and it’s not even 11am, so things are looking up for a Friday!
Research, Not Law
Similar to Meg, even in twinset prime years, I typically wore a same (or similar) colored shirt instead of the matched shell because (1) the cut of the shell was rarely flattering on my figure if worn alone and (2) a sweater shell was too bulky and warm for me.
Now I prefer to wear a shell the same color as my pants/skirt, which I find more modern, flattering, and efficient (I have less color variation in my bottoms than in my tops).
While I do consider the twinset outdated, I fully expect it to come back because it’s so classic.
Bonnie
I think it’s a dated look too. I have a twinset that I was gifted but never wear the pieces together. The underlayer is great as a thin sweater vest over long-sleeved blouses in the winter.
Shopaholic
I know it’s been asked before but I can’t remember the name of the website that you can use to monitor items and get alerts when they go on sale?
Thanks!
AIMS
Shopping notes dot com.
kerrycontrary
I’m in my mid-twenties and I have never owned a proper twinset, but I don’t like the idea of merino wool against my stomach/chest area. I prefer a cotton based cami or other shirt/blouse underneath a cardigan.
Work advice
Suggestions for invigorating enthusiasm for a job you’ve become bored with? Honestly, I don’t want to change jobs. I have a tremendous amount of autonomy and flexibility to go along with a great manager and a nice salary. I’ve just been doing this job for too long. Opportunities for a different role within my organization are virtually non-existent.
Melissa
I would recommend telling your manager what you just wrote and ask what she recommends (assuming you have a good rapport with her and are confident she won’t hold your concerns against you). She may have suggestions for new projects, recommend training, or ways to progress in the company that may not be immediately apparent to you.
She may also confirm that you’ve topped out at this current company and that you should consider looking at other positions. That’s important to know, too. She may be able to help you explore other options (again, depending on your relationship with her).
Merabella
The twinset reminds me of my aunt who is definitely in the “ladies who lunch” category.
I have rarely, if ever, found a twinset that was flattering on me. I think I’ll stick to the cardigan or blazer with a complementary top underneath.
Marilla
Yes – twinsets read very old. Sort of like Sears models for 50+ women. I don’t think they’re common among younger women at all anymore. The colour above is lovely but I’d be more likely to break up the set with a different coloured top under the cardigan.
phillygirlruns
i have two of the “jackie” shell and cardigan sets from j.crew. i usually wear them separately (cardigan with pretty much anything, shell over a collared shirt) – when i do wear them as a twinset, i have a hard time figuring out what jewelry to wear that doesn’t scream “ladies-who-lunch”/sears catalogue.
a passion for fashion
I totally embrace the Jackie look when I wear both pieces of the j crew “jackie” line — with pearls that hit just below the crew. Ill often go with a slim line for my slacks and a modern high heel. I also wear it with a scarf and skip a neckless altogether
Rural Juror
Users of the Clarisonic:
I got the Mia for Christmas and was really excited to start using it. My skin was dull and I didn’t do much for it except clean it (Clinique mild liquid face soap) every few days in the shower. I would use Clinique moisture serge whenever my skin seemed dry. I would say I have not terrible skin but not great – blotchy, some pimples (reducing frequency with age) and oily t-zone.
So I start using the Mia about 2-3 times per week with my regular face wash and keep using my regular moisturizer when I notice dryness. It made my skin a bit red at first but I figured there was an adjustment period, and it would go away after a few hours. Now it’s to the point where I have angry redness in blotches all over my cheeks and some really red dry patches that persist for more than a day.
Is this still the adjustment period, am I doing something wrong, is the Mia just not right for me? I’d love to hear from Mia veterans! Changing my products is not really an attractive option since they were so expensive and seemed to work fine before.
AnonInfinity
Which brush head do you use? I use the very softest one (I think it’s for extra sensitive skin or something like that), and I haven’t had that problem. I don’t have dry skin, though.
Houston Attny
I have a Mia, use it every morning in the shower with face wash and have oily-mainly-in-the-t-zone skin that sometimes is super sensitive. I know there are some different brush heads – some that are softer for sensitive skin (I think Sephora sells them). You might try that. Otherwise, I’m interested to hear some other responses.
AIMS
What kind of brush are you using with it? When I first got mine, I used it with the “sensitive” skin brush and did not notice any irritation. I also would say that you should use moisturizer after you use it and not just when your skin feels dry. Of course, everyone’s experience is different – I have somewhat sensitive skin generally but I had no issues with the MIA – I just use very mild products with it and after. My only other thought is how you are using it – you don’t need to scrub with it, just to lightly hold it against your skin. Perhaps that’s the issue?
Chinarette
Make sure you’re not pushing too hard into your skin! The brush action is enough to clean your skin. Lightly rub it across your face in tiny circles, barely brushing the surface of your skin. No need to push it in and scrub. Maybe that’ll help with the redness somewhat, along with switching to a soft brush.
Divaliscious11
Sounds like you may using too frequently? Also, be sure not to apply too much pressure with the brush – let the sonic do the work, not you. I also use the softest brush. You should be moisturizing after each use – I think you are but just to be safe. Also, I use additional moisture during this time if year. Are you in a cold climate – what you are describing sounds like extra sensitivity related to wind chafing. One trick I also use to help with redness (in winter its the wind, in summer its sun for me) is applying a layer of aloe before applying my moisturizer.
Parker - Boardroom Belles
I have extremely sensitive skin and had similar problems when I first started using it. Things that have helped me:
– Which brush head do you use? I found switching to either the Acne or Sensitive Skin brush head helped me a lot
– How often do you use it? After I experienced dry patches and red blotches, I started using it only every other day and then slowly upgraded to daily use. I still can’t do twice per day like some.
– Don’t apply too much pressure, the rotating brush cleans well enough in itself
– Not going the full minute, when I feel my face is clean I just stop, even if my minute isn’t up
– More moisturizer
Latina
This.
I was having the same problems with redness and my face was drying out when I first started using the Mia. I spend $$$ on department store cleaners, creams, etc. Once I made the switch to Paula’s Choice my face got better within days. I know it is so painful to switch products after spending so much. No matter what you’re out the money. Go back to the store and say you’re not satisfied. You would be surprised how many stores will take back used skin care. They almost all have a satisfaction guarantee. If you don’t a receipt you may just get store credit.
kerrycontrary
I hear that the Mia has a “purging period”, so if you didn’t take good care of your skin before, it will bring all of the gunk and pimples to the surface. You should always moisturize day and night, and make sure you are washing your makeup off every evening (it’s probably best to use the Mia at night to get your makeup off).
Anon
Are you moisturizing every day? Maybe it’s worth upgrading your moisturizer if you are and it’s not working. You could also try using something more gentle as a face wash, like Cetaphil.
Bonnie
Sounds like you’re not moisturizing enough. You should moisturize your face ever morning and every night, not just when it seems dry.
annie
I find even the “sensitive” brush head to be too harsh for my very sensitive/dry skin. I switched to “delicate” which is even softer than “sensitive” and haven’t had problems since.
Regular poster
Thank you ladies for your kind posts and virtual hugs yesterday about my terrible performance evaluation. Cried a ton last night, hugged my hubby, and am trying to mentally prepare myself to meet with the partner who gave me the bad feedback in another hour. I really appreciate the kind words.
Susedna
I was thinking about you. Good luck with the meeting. Hang in there!
InfoGeek
I love this color!
I would like the cardigan better if it had long sleeves instead of 3/4 length. If it’s cold enough for wool, then it’s cold enough for long sleeves.
Cb
I’m the opposite, I’m constantly pushing up full length sleeves and prefer them shorter.
PharmaGirl
Same here, I prefer 3/4 length sleeves on all tops.
De
Can someone explain to me in the simplest terms whether a roth for a traditional 401k is better? I’m reading the explainations on our benefits site and it’s going completely over my head.
D
It depends on where you are now and where you will be in retirement — if your tax rate is going to go up (which for most of us it will) then a roth (where you’ve already paid taxes and earnings grow tax-free) is preferable. BUT there are income restrictions there (though everyone can do a roth conversion).
kscle
There are income limits for contributions to a roth ira, but not for a roth 401(k) if your employer offers it.
TBK
My understanding is that the basic difference is when the money is taxed. Roth is taxed before it goes into the fund and regular is taxed when you get the money out (during retirement). If you’re young, you’re typically advised to use a Roth because it’s likely that your current marginal tax rate is lower (because your income is lower) than it will be in 40+ yrs. This isn’t always true, however. For example, when I was in BigLaw, my income was probably the highest it’s likely to be in my lifetime (or, at the very least, it was very high) so I used a traditional. This isn’t my area of specialty at all, but I think the tax issue is usually the biggest one.
De
That’s pretty much what I took from the little blurb provided on our enrollment site, and what I reasoned as the better choice. I tried searching the older posts, but nothing specifically went to this question. And obviously it’s so situational, as to which is “better” but sometimes when it comes to taxes and investments, I read it, and I understand nothing.
Which is awesome since I work in a tax heavy field right now.
Anastasia
I think Roth might also have slightly different rules about how you can withdraw the money before you retire, but I am firmly in the “I will not touch my retirement savings, come h3ll or high water” camp, so I don’t know too much about this.
Anyway, the tax point is the biggest. If you’re right around the income limit, it might still be worth using the traditional one. It makes it easier to save a larger amount of money, which will then hopefully compound significantly over the coming decades and more than offset the future taxes….
(Hopefully my math is right, here. Someone please correct me if not.) If your marginal tax rate is 28% and you put $5k in a traditional account, you’re done, and you saved $1400 in federal income taxes in the short term. That $1400 growing at 9% (average annual return over 25 year period for the stock market) for 30 years becomes about $18,500, so unless tax rates jump exponentially, it was better for you to have the $1400 at the outset. Conversely, at a 28% marginal tax rate, to put $5k in a Roth, you need to earn $7000.
Sutemi
If you take an early-ish retirement, having both Roth and traditional IRA/401k options is helpful. Taking 401k money out before 59.5 is not impossible but there are rules you have to work around to get a 72t disbursement.
Anon
The $5k put in a Roth 401k would total $47,750 at 9% over 30 years (assuming a 28% tax rate at inception, so $3,600 goes into the account), but no taxes would be paid upon withdrawal.
In a traditional 401k, that $5k would grow to $66,300 at 9% over 30 years. Wouldn’t you still have to pay taxes on that amount when it’s withdrawn? If the tax rate is greater than 28%, the Roth would be preferrable (28% of $66,300 is about $18,500 – the difference between the two 401ks).
This is not my area of expertise though, so I may be off.
MsZ
In addition to what previous commenters have said regarding betting on your own income levels, there is also an element of betting on Congress. If you think Congress is going to end up raising tax rates in the future, you should do a Roth and pay the taxes now. Some recommend distributing your contributions between traditional and Roth to hedge this bet.
KC
This is how I think of it as well – it’s a combination of your expectations of your personal tax bracket (Are you young with a low tax rate? Working in a high paying field that you anticipate leaving after loans are paid off?, etc.) and future political decisions regarding tax policy.
Family Vacation Anon from yesterday
Well, we decided to go ahead with the cruise. I very carefully crafted the email back, asking them to please book us an outside cabin and that we’d pay the difference, and to let the cruise line know there were milestone anniversaries involved.
I got back a “well, we can’t afford to book everyone on an outside cabin, and we want everyone together, but we’ll see”. And that she didn’t see why they would care about the anniversaries.
My husband suggested responding with “if it is to much trouble, we’ll book our own room”, since I’ve got a friend who is a travel agent specializing in cruises.
We know which ship we’ll be on. We know what leisure activities will be available on the days we’re at sea. We’ve got a list of shore excursions available at the two stops, which we’ve been told we’ll need to plan on booking by mid-June, so that we can be assured to get the ones we want.
The one thing I haven’t been able to get anyone to commit on is what we’re doing about travel insurance. My mom has had some serious health problems for the last 2 years, and there is every possibility that they will re-manifest just as we’re getting ready to actually do all this. Given the expenses we figured up last night just for the cruise itself, before fees and gratuities and anything else, we’re looking at about $20K.
downstream
You can probably upgrade the room yourself once it’s booked. Don’t discuss it with anyone, just do it.
I just read the discussion about the cruise from yesterday (whoa there are a lot of opinions in there). I want to add that I went on a cruise with my in-laws, including an in-law who is frankly the bane of my existence. And I left that cruise not wanting to absolutely murder her (or at least, not wanting to absolutely murder that her more than I normally want to absolutely murder her). There is plenty to do on a cruise ship, and you can get through the entire day without talking to anyone you don’t want to talk to. Plus cellphones don’t work so if you want to disappear you can.
Bonnie
Read the fine print of the travel insurance. A lot of them make it nearly impossible to actually use the insurance.
Senior Attorney
By all means get the travel insurance. Some travel agents will pay for the insurance out of their commission, BTW. And yes, it’s totally worth it to have an outside room so I’d stand firm on that. Plus there’s no reason you can’t have a balcony cabin across the hall from everybody else’s inside cabin so the “we want everybody together” thing shouldn’t be a problem.
Have fun!
Anonymous
Yeah, I would insist on an outside cabin. I feel claustorphobic just thinking about being in an inside cabin. And if you do wind up booking it yourself, I would book something midship–there’s less movement there and you will be less likely to get motion sick. I get that they want the cabins to be near each other, but I don’t really see the piont of that. The ships are big, but not so big that you can’t walk to another cabin in 5 minutes or less (*maybe* slightly longer if the cabins were on complete opposite ends of theship).
Also, re: shore excursions…a lot of the time there are companies that set up shop right near where the cruise ships dock and offer excursions for significantly less than what the cruise line charges. YMMV, but we had a great experience with one of these companies for a whale watching trip in Alaska. And unfortunately, while a lot of the ones you buy through the ship are quite good, I’ve also had some pretty bad experiences. So booking the excursion through the ship does not guarantee a quality experience (I’m looking at you, Celebrity shore excursion to “swim with sea lions in their natural environment” that turned out to be a booze cruise leading up to swimming with ONE sea lion on a tether about 50 yars off shore).
Anastasia
Yes, call for the upgrade, yourself. Most cruise lines have good customer service and will be able to do this for you even if someone else made the initial reservation (especially since you are asking to give them more money). And definitely mention that you are celebrating your anniversary. You will probably at least get some champagne and strawberries or cake with your turndown service one night.
One note on shore excursions: I would not bother booking these through the cruise line. You can do the same things, usually cheaper and with more flexibility, by just checking out what there is to do at the port calls and finding your own transportation. If you’re traveling with children, just think how much cheaper it is to pay one cab fare to an attraction than to essentially pay 5 to use the cruise’s transportation. The only thing you have to worry about is getting back to the boat on time… the ship will wait if an official shore excursion is running late, but if you went off on your own, too bad.
D
I wear a lot of the Limited v-neck sweaters with matching camis as a staple in my work wardrobe. I think that’s the new “twin set”…
De
I may or may not be wearing that today.
Happy Anon
Lands End Review
I ordered the dress that was featured last week – the plead shoulder drapey pointe v-neck. I’m a true 6. I guess I should have known better, but I ordered a small. When I got it yesterday, the tag said the small is a 6-8. Of course when I tried it on it was too big! I just didn’t imagine that I’d need an extra small. I’m 5’9″ for heavens sake! That said, if I can exchange it for an extra small, it will be worth at least trying. The fabric is pretty nice, and the price was right. I got the green, and I love the color.
I also ordered a wrap dress – the 3/4 sleeve crepe jersey gathered surplice dress – in a small. I can’t imagine that even in a small this dress will look good on me. I am an A cup, and the top was so baggy (apparently intentionally so), that even a smaller size will make me look dumpy. Also, I don’t know what “crepe jersey” is, but the fabric was thin and cheap feeling.
I also ordered two button front shirts – I can’t remember exactly which ones they are now, but they are both going back, too. I looked for ones that were described as having seaming to make them fit a little closer to the body. I got one in a size 4 and a different shirt in a size 6. Neither came close to fitting how I’d like. The 4 fit across the chest okay, but the torso was still too big. I think I size 2 would probably pull across the chest. I was swimming in the 6. Moreover, the fabric on both shirts was extremely thin and scratchy. I ordered one in white and it was practically sheer!
I am sooooo disappointed! I seem to remember that Lands End used to be known for quality. I could figure the fit thing out, but the fact that the quality of the items I got weren’t any better than what I could buy at the local discount store.
On the other hand, I have bought some things at JC Penney lately that I am in love with. The quality exceeds what I would expect for the price – and the price is certainly right.
The World
Sigh. Ladies- yes, if you are a small size you should know better than to shop at lands end.
Signed- a curvy size 12 who never shops at theory.
Mpls
I know, right? Maybe it just we have a lot of people “discovering ” Lands End
Also I’m curious what a “true 6” is, and how that determination is made.
Anonnc
If I recall correctly, women’s clothing sizes were etched on Moses’ little-known third tablet. ;)
long time lurker
Ditto your sigh.
EmilyD
Triple it.
Research, Not Law
Yep. Learn the brand for your body type and leave the rest for others. I get excited when I read a review that says the bust was too full or the hips too wide ;)
KSW
I also received my Lands End order yesterday so I’ll review my purchases as well:
3/4 Sleeve Knit Faux Wrap Drapey Ponté Dress – I ordered this because of the rave reviews on this site…and it’s ok. I’m 6′ tall and a size 10 so I got the Medium Tall. The length is wonderful! It hits mid-bottom of my knee. I’m undecided on the fit though. I usually have a hard time with wrap dresses or anything with a little higher waist, so I think that’s my issue. I got it in cranberry and feel like it’s a little bright. I checked this morning and now the green is available so I might exchange it for the green. I will probably keep one of them though because it was only $14 and I don’t hate it. Maybe I will like it better once I wear it.
Long Sleeve 1×1 Stripe Boatneck Top – Love this. The fabric is thicker than I expected and really nice. The boatneck isn’t so wide that it shows my br* straps either, which is always a concern with wider necklines. Definitely a keeper. Also on sale for $14.
Ellery Wedge Shoes – Love these too. Only wore them around the house for a bit, but they seemed comfortable and not too high. I got the black and they toe the line between professional and casual so I could wear them to work (biz casual) and with jeans and a sweater. These were on sale for $30.
lucy stone
I love the Ellery wedges and wear them to work 2-3 days a week.
kerrycontrary
Oh no I’m worried! I ordered the small as well. I’m the same way, a size 6 and 5’8″. I haven’t worn an XS since high school.
kerrycontrary
I’m reading the reviews on this dress and the sizing is all over the place. Some people the same height/weight as me say a small fits perfectly, people bigger than me are saying the small is great, it’s completely inconsistent. I’ll have to wait and see. Maybe I’ll get it taken in because I hate returning stuff.
LE review
I have the 3/4 Sleeve Knit Drapey Ponté V-Neck Dress. I am 5-4, 125 pounds, and high-waisted and the S fit well on me. I am a skinny pear (normally a Talbots Small / 6 in tops / dresses and a JCrew 4 on the bottom (always with some sort of smoothing undergarment, waah)) and didn’t think that the V was too deep (a problem on DVF, for which I wear a cami with wrap dresses). I like that it has sleeves. I like it and will probably wear it a lot (got black, b/c I’m an Office Goth).
FWIW, I have a 10 Land’s End Swing Coat. I can wear a suit with jacket underneath it (and for that reason couldn’t do the Lady Day, which I thought was much prettier (and possibly for a not-so-cold day when wearing a dress, when I have more $)).
Clothing sizes are crazy. I have to try everything on, especially bottoms.
Anon
I’m 5’6 and 125 lbs and usually wear a 2 or 4; I’m a 2 in Ann Taylor and BR suits, a 2 or 4 in JCrew pants. I ordered this same dress in an XS and love the fit.
MaggieLizer
I’m wearing today (and obviously love) the Pleat Shoulder Drapey Ponte V-neck dress in lapis. I’m a full busted 10-12, ordered the medium, and it fits really well, if somewhat big through the hips (but it’s supposed to be drapey right?). This dress was made for curvy, high-waisted, short girls; the arm length and skirt length are perfect for me (I’m 5’2″), and there’s plenty of room in the bust. Also, the dress has pockets! And the pleating on the skirt hides the pockets so they don’t pop off your hips like you gained 25 lbs. The V is a little deep for work so I’m wearing a cami under it.
Also got the 3/4 sleeve Drapey Ponte V-neck in medium and the bust fits with only a little extra room, but I’m swimming in the rest of it. The dress is SUPER long on me, a good 3-4″ below my knee. I love the color (pine), so I’m debating whether I want to go to the trouble of having it tailored.
Happy Anon
If the dress works well for a curvy, high-waisted, short girl, no wonder it didn’t work for me! I have a boyish figure with a long torso and am tall. Hope some of you ladies on the other side of the spectrum can enjoy it, because it is cute!
bgo
I have it in 3 colors- I have to say I love it, but I am a short, curvy, highwaisted person. And for anyone else who does a ton of business travel and can wear this dress for work it does not wrinkle at all. I love it for that. Looks great, easy to accessorize and I don’t have to worry about the wrinkle issue.
Chinarette
Is anyone else in perpetual moderation? I’m having trouble posting almost every time I post. My comments are usually in moderation 1+ hours before posting, and I’m seeing timestamps on comments later than mine that are posted much earlier. I’m avoiding the usual words: [this site]. c-tail, etc. I don’t post under other screen names. Any ideas? Is my user name setting off alarms? I’m not a spam bot, I swear :(.
Marilla
Could be your username with the e-t-t-e ending???
anon
It’s probably your name – I think anything with a “r e t t e” in it tends to get moderated. Which is why the site name has problems.
China r et t e
Thanks, y’all. I’ll modify it a bit and see what happens!
Happy Anon
I need some tunes to listen to at work today. Can anyone recommend a Pandora station that has some non-distracting instrumental stuff?
So it's that kind of Friday
The Vivaldi channel is good for that.
De
I’m a fan of Gustav Holst. Or Aaron Copeland.
AEK
Baroque
BBL
I made a channel based around Bond (the crossover string quartet, not Bond, James Bond). It feeds me a lot of strings and piano with repetitive melodies that are great for work.
SFBayA
The French Cafe station.
Anon
The Solo Piano Station in the Easy Listening Station.
muzak
explosions in the sky, ratatat, yiruma.
Kady
TPS – I know there are some Club Monaco fans here, they’re running a 30% off sale items promo now. Code is DREAM30.
Diana Barry
CORPORETTE CLOTHES SWAP!
Hey ladies – I have some clothes for people who want them – a mix of button-downs, couple blazers and some “party clothes”.
Size M or 6-8ish.
Please email me if you would like any! Dianabarry r e t t e at gmail.
(and thanks to you ladies who responded from before, I will get back to you today).
Bunkster
I think I’m in your city and I wear a size 8/M. I’ll email you.
KC
On a side note, a ‘r3tte clothes swap at a meetup is a neat idea. Anything leftover could be donated?
Diana Barry
C O R P O R E T T E CLOTHES SWAP! (had to change for moderation)
Hey ladies – I have some clothes for people who want them – a mix of button-downs, couple blazers and some “party clothes”.
Size M or 6-8ish.
Please email me if you would like any! Dianabarry r e t t e at gmail.
(and thanks to you ladies who responded from before, I will get back to you today).
Catchpa Rant
I hate catchpas. It always takes me at least 3 tries to type the words correctly. Argh. I can’t be the only one with this problem. Right?
Chinarette
Nope, not the only one!
AnotherLadyLawyer
Not even close. It takes me anywhere from 3 to 5 times to get it right! I hate them with an undying passion!
SoCalAtty
Me too! Especially frustrating when buying concert tickets.
Nitpicky
It’s captcha, not catchpa. (FWIW, I hate them too)
From Wikipedia:
The term “CAPTCHA” was coined in 2000 by Luis von Ahn, Manuel Blum, Nicholas J. Hopper, and John Langford (all of Carnegie Mellon University). It is an acronym based on the word “capture” and standing for “Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart”.
Anon
Here’s an alternative that is part of a start up from begun my alumni of my alma mater: http://michigantoday.umich.edu/story.php?id=8540#.UPmRB_LDs6o
Anon
Oops, eliminate the “from” in that sentence. Anyway, it is a neat alternative that involves skills like dragging a piece of pepperoni on the screen onto a pizza.
Kady
I fairly reliably fail captchas – does this mean that I am actually a robot? Do I dream of electric sheep?
Scully
+1
Cb
Anyone have something fun on for the weekend? Going on a date (kind of, we’re sort of seeing each other or as we used to say in high school, ‘we’re talking’) and then working the rest of the weekend. Glad to have one fun thing (hopefully) to make the weekend better.
mascot
Eating oysters and drinking beer. It’s the little things.
Susedna
That’s awesome. I’m going to copy your idea– if DH and I eat oysters and drink beer while packing all our stuff in boxes, it’ll make the packing less onerous. :-)
I’m trying to do the “silver lining” thing. Given that packing up all this stuff requires that we be rooted to our place over the weekend– I’ll take this as an opportunity to have some good college-era-talk-all-afternoon-talk-all-night convos that we don’t get to do as much in our current 30-something lives heavily bounded by work.
Anon
I’ll be packing and moving too! Such a good idea to make it bonding time instead of looking at it like the worst chore ever. Especially with oysters and beer :)
Susedna
Good luck! I’m not sure if you dislike packing & moving (I have a friend who’s moved 4 times in the past 7 years and he LOVES IT, so YMMV), but I certainly do.
I think it’s b.c like many folks on here, I work a lot, and commute, so the prospect of coming home and not having any real downtime is kinda grim. My fault, though, for not building in even a little downtime. And a mistake I won’t repeat tonight or on the next workday night.
The past 2 nights, I’ve launched myself into the packing, moving thing right after returning from work and then showered and collapsed into bed totally exhausted, and feeling like I hadn’t decompressed enough while my mind is racing about all the stuff I’d meant to do*.
*thank you note to a friend’s Mom who invited us over her place for dinner, email replies I owe friends, a call to my parents because they’re going through a rough patch in their marriage right now, wiping down the stovetop, etc. etc. etc.
mascot
Professional packers are completely and totally worth the money, IMO.
Anon from 11:41 am
My firm did packers/movers for my move here, which I think is what moved me from “moving is bad but not horrible” to total dread now that I know those guys could do the whole thing in 3 hours and it will take me three days. Ugh. I can totally relate, Susedna- good luck to you this weekend :)
Marilla
Yay enjoy! Any exciting outfit or makeup plans? I always stand and mess with my makeup and eyeshadow for an extra twenty minutes and then end up looking sort of the same. But it’s fun anyway!
We’re going to look at a new housing development we probably can’t afford (but it’s fairly central and close to subways and would probably be pretty sweet). Hurray for overinflated housing markets!
Cb
Err…don’t judge but he’s already seen me today. We work together. But, but, but before you start sending me cases of NGDGTCO, I’m a very part-time employee, studying in a totally different field, no one knows, and he’s not my boss.
Marilla
No judging! That’s kind of cute because you get the little excitement and anticipation throughout the day. And you’re in academics, right? If grad students couldn’t date each other then no one would ever go on a date for the 5+ years they were in school.
Monday
That’s correct. Ideally you’re not in the same tiny department, but it happens! I feel I avoided that mostly by chance…but still had some uncomfortable campus building run-ins over my 5 years.
Have fun, Cb. A “totally different field” sounds especially promising ;)
Bunkster
Watching Magic Mike with my sister-in-law tonight, while my brother is at a work thing. This will definitely include drinks and dinner. And then to the Cape tomorrow. Will probably have drinks and dinner with my best friend. Watching the Patriots on Sunday. And relaxing on the holiday.
SFBayA
Have you seen the movie yet? Despite all the man candy, especially TCFKAG’s boyfriend Matt, I found the plot really depressing. I was all set for a fun girl’s night with hot dudes dancing around and instead we all walked out so bummed.
SV in House
Totally agree with this! I saw it when my kids were otherwise occupied and felt I had squandered the opportunity.
Bunkster
Yikes, no. But we have an awesome dinner planned so maybe that will work.
Happy Anon
Housework and then – yay! – quick visit from the out-of-town boyfriend (or as he calls himself, manfriend).
NOLA
I am planning to see The Hobbit in IMAX with a girlfriend, followed by dinner and drinks at a new Mexican place near the theater. I decided to give myself permission to take a day off at the gym to do this because I need to have some fun.
petitesq
Wedding dress shopping with my mom!
Senior Attorney
FUN !!
TBK
Parents arrive in four hours. The K household is in high anxiety mode (poor Mr. TBK). Let’s hope I make it through the weekend without tears. (I do love my parents very much, but my mom and my husband just push all each other’s buttons just by existing.)
EB0220
My mom and my husband do this too, and my mom is coming on Sunday. So I feel you.
Jo March
Rented an awesome lakefront cabin. 2 person whirlpool, gas fireplace, satellite TV, and a king-size bed. Mmmhmmmm. Plan is to veg and eat and cuddle and, well, you know. (lol).
Is it surprising that I’m having a hard time focussing on work today?
TBK
Go you! So glad you’re getting a chance to get away for a bit. Sounds heavenly.
KC
Glad to hear you’re getting a break. And gosh, I’m jealous of what sounds like an amazing place! Hope you get lots of relaxation in :)
Mary Ann Singleton
This sounds like just what you need after all the mess you’ve been going through. Enjoy!
Susedna
Awesome! You deserve a break. Enjoy. :-)
Jo March
Thanks, ladies! I am really looking forward to it.
Plan for packing is literally food, snowpants in case it warms up enough to have a walk, pjs of varying comfort/sexy levels, and also some gardening tools ;)
Susie
Super busy weekend! Saturday – spin class in the am, follow up visit with optometrist, reception for cousin who got married in a private ceremony a few months ago, SF MEETUP??
Sunday – yoga, baby shower.
Monday – meeting with new house cleaner, PA MEETUP??, pilates.
In the spare time in between I will to my homework for my online ERISA class, and research washers & dryers.
LR
I posted this on the coffee break thread, but I thought I’d add it here too.
My washer and dryer are Samsung. I don’t have any problems getting clothes clean and the dryer usually takes less than a half hour unless I really fill it up. My only complaint with either one is that the washer smells a bit musty with the door shut, so we prop it open slightly after we use it. We don’t have the mold problems I’ve heard of with other brands where the seal or drums mold.
KC
I’m spending Sat morning volunteering, and in the evening I’m hosting a potluck. At some point I should probably get on the shopping/cleaning/cooking prep… :) Sun I plan to finally see Lincoln. I’m normally a “One movie at a theatre per year” person, but I’m on a roll this winter!
Nonny
Well….I wouldn’t call it “fun” necessarily, but I’m giving a half-hour speech to 100 people on Saturday morning. I’ve been working on it for two weeks. Wish me luck and cross your fingers for me….I am nervous as anything.
After tomorrow morning, the rest of the weekend will be a piece of cake.
Marilla
That’s amazing – good luck!!!
shortiek
good luck!
Bonnie
Staying away from downtown DC! Have fun on the date.
AnonDC
Ditto! I was down by the White House around lunch today – don’t think I’ll be going downtown until after Monday. I was here in 2008 so I don’t feel like I’m missing out or anything.
AnnonFoo
Monday is a holiday for me, first long weekend of the year after my LDR breakup. Kinda of glad not spending it 8-12 hours travelling like i did last year
Happy hour with co-workers tonight.
Saturday morning – zumba class and then an intense strength training/conditioning class.
Back home exhausted, shower/eat and time for 3 hours of new Downton Abbey episodes.
Online house hunting on redfin
Kickboxing class on Sunday, more house hunting.
Movie/drinks with friends on Sunday night.
Monday – chill out, watch weeds on netflix.
CKB
Tonight dh & I are going to a local production of Spamalot. I’m sure it won’t be as good as when we saw it in London, but should still get a few laughs out of it.
We were planning on going skiing on Saturday, but I think we have too many sick people in the family right now, and with temps being above freezing at the mountain we were going to visit, I’m not sure what the conditions will be despite all the snow they got last weekend. So we’ll see on that one.
joy
Funny you mention the twinset. I saw a young woman (20s) in one yesterday and made a mental note that nobody wears twinsets anymore. I am in my mid-late 20s and they have always seemed a little frumpy for my tastes. Too monochrome!
Chinarette
I think you hit it on the head. Lately styles are very mix-and-match. Traditional twinsets are a little too monochrome (speaking from late 20s here, too).
Kontraktor
I think they are a nice option for when you need/want to be more formal but don’t want to wear a blazer or suit. I think one of my most stuffy/formal non blazer outfits is a matching Brooks Bros. twin set, some slacks, and a silk scarf. I wouldn’t wear every day by any means, but would probably wear to an event, conference, or meeting where I needed to look more stuffy but didn’t want to suit up or didn’t have to.
Leslie Knope
I’m also mid-late 20s and feel the same way about twinsets, even though my personal style is very cardigan-y. I just don’t understand the point of twinsets–why not buy a sweater in the same shape and material if it’s basically going to look like a sweater anyway? If you want the option to take the top layer off, why wouldn’t you want a contrasting bottom layer? It just seems so limiting.
Susie
I’m 30, I think they can be cute (depending on the fit, color, rest of outfit etc)
Anon
I have an etiquette question for you well-mannered ladies. A friend from high school recently moved to the same city I’m in and invited me to a party at his house. The invite was an email with everyone BCC’d, so I don’t know how many people are invited. There is not sit-down dinner. Is it inappropriate to ask to bring my boyfriend to this party? Thanks for setting me straight!
mascot
Does the friend know that you are dating someone? If he just moved into town, it sounds like maybe he wouldn’t mind getting to know more people. I am usually a stickler for no extra guests for dinners and weddings, but a casual gathering doesn’t count. I’d ask if he minds. I’d also be sure to bring along a six pack or bottle of wine as a host present/contribution to the bar.
mtafiend
Second on this, and I’d give your friend an out when you ask. Something like – would it be ok if I brought my boyfriend or are you trying to keep the numbers under control?
Anon
Thank you both!
Batgirl
Update for those interested: My mole removal was a success! I have to admit, it was an anxiety-producing event, but no pain during. I have to admit, though, that I’ve had a pretty bad headache for the two days that have followed.
Quick question: I’m looking to get some reliable, lightweight, professional-looking suitcases. My new job (I took a new job!) will require a lot of travel, so I feel like this is a good present to myself, but I still can’t afford to break the bank. Does anyone have any affordable-but-good-quality luggage recommendations?
Thanks!
InfoGeek
I personally don’t think that paying big $ for suitcases is worth it. It seems they get banged up and last no longer than the cheaper stuff. I just scout around Penney’s, TJ Maxx, Kohl’s, and Target until I find something I like for a price I’m willing to pay.
Features I want:
* Expandable so I can unzip it to make it bigger (usually turns a carry-on into a mandatory checked bag)
* Not black (makes it easier to find on the carousel if it doesn’t match everyone else’s)
Anon0321
TJ Maxx is THE place to get amazing luggage for like $50 bucks a pop. I got a full set of red & black victorianox maybe 10 yrs ago and they are still going strong… and I doubt I paid more than $200 total (& I think in Nordstroms they are about $200 a piece). I also like that they nest in 1 another when they aren’t in use… or alternatively, if I bring a bigger piece with me somewhere w/ the smaller one in side so that I’ll have more luggage for the trip back.
anon
Not sure how much you want to spend, but the last few times I have been to my local Nordstrom’s Rack they have had Briggs & Riley (and other brand) suitcases for a steep discount.
MaggieLizer
Second Briggs & Riley suitcases; I’ve had mine for about 7 years and they still look new. Glad the mole removal went well!
MJ
I bought a Briggs and Riley last year. Pricy but worth it. Lifetime no questions asked warranty. No other brand of luggage has this. Like Cloudveil or Patagonia, the minute it breaks, I will send it back for repair/replacement…for free. Forever.
Brant
Do you know where/what type of travel you’ll be doing? You may want to get goin with the job and see before buying the luggage. As an example, I travel ALL THE TIME but it is mostly for quick overnight trips, and almost ALWAYS involves a tiny commuter jet. So I wanted to get soft-sided luggage that can fit in the smaller sized overhead bins to avoid checking any bags.
On the other hand, if you know you’ll have to making lots of week-at-a-time (a la the typical consulting gig) trips, you want something that maximizes the amount of stuff you can pack while still being light.
bgo
This. I travel all the time as well, but I fly internationally mostly. It might be a good idea to learn what planes you will be on and then talk to the luggage people about what will fit in different plane overhead compartments (at the individual stores they will know this info- department stores may not) Then go and stalk the bag you want for cheaper money. but this is an important part of the component- not all airlines are the same and not all planes are the same, but good luggage people absolutely will know the routes and the planes.
FWIW – I travel with either the Travelpro lightweight line or with Tumi. The travelpro I stalked at Macy’s till I got an exceptional sale deal, and well, the Tumi I just bit the bullet and bought. But this month for instance by the end of the month I will have been back and forth to Europe three times, to the west coast once and have two small domestic trips. So, since I spend more time with my suitcase then my apartment the money was worth it.
Bonnie
There are some great deals on Bric’s and Tumi suitcases at NM right now: http://www.neimanmarcus.com/etemplate/et1.jsp?itemId=cat980731&N=4294914425&siloId=cat980731&icid=home0a
Up to 70% off.
Sugar Magnolia
Congrats on the new job!
I can only say that investing money in really good luggage is way worth it, as I learned when I lost my swimsuit and other items because the cheap suitcase my in-laws gave me burst on a trip back from Mexico.
Miss A
Surprised it hasn’t come up yet, but definitely get a spinner. I’ve found that Samsonites on discount (Macy’s, Costco, online), expandable carry-on’s hit the right professional/sturdy/price point for me. A friend bought a Calvin Klein spinner at TJ Maxx for the same trip, but his brand new suitcase did not have the sturdiness in the handle that mine did. 4+ years into its use.
Some ppl might avoid black, but if you’re travelling for work you might not want bright pink. Also, if you have a distinguishing tag (eg, a discreet but bright blue pom pom), I have found that the black is not a problem, especially for carry ons.
Monday
Blanket thanks to everyone who made suggestions yesterday regarding running and home keys. I think I’m going to buy a cuff or two today, but I weighed all of your advice first!
SoCalAtty
I just want to say…HAPPY FRIDAY HIVE! I also wanted to thank everyone for their support and congrats on the new position.
When I woke up this morning I actually felt much better. No pre-work nervous shakes (ok, just for a minute until I remember that phone call was NOT a dream), and last night at 9:05 when the partner e-mailed me a silly question (basically asking me to figure out a reply deadline when I already put it on her cal. months ago) I completely ignored it until I got to the office at 8am this morning.
Once I get the official offer on paper from HR and accept, then I have to give my 2 weeks…normally something I would do in person, but in this case I think I’ll write a really nice note and email. I work 50/50 for both partners, and I’ll never get them in the same room together and I just don’t think I can handle the confrontation. I’m sure there will be yelling and some form of “well you’re not even qualified for that” speech. Normal etiquette says resign in person, but for my mental well being I think I’ll skip it.
The bummer is that my husband has to leave for work at 6am Sunday morning (big job at a bakery that needs weekend work, I’m not complaining because it pays weekend labor rates!) so we can’t do a ton on Saturday. That’s ok though, because a friend of mine is running for city clerk and I’m helping her walk our district this weekend!
Back to work. Otherwise I’m going to be writing this motion over the weekend!
TBK
Any employer who would respond to you giving notice by saying you’re not qualified for the new job doesn’t deserve an in-person resignation. Ugh.
SoCalAtty
Yep. This is the woman that asks me questions, I give her the most current case law, quote it for her, explain it to her, and she sends me emails like “THAT IS NOT WHAT I ASKED YOU, WHAT IS THE LAW??!!” Or tells me that I have to give her a copy of the case because “what you[SoCalAtty] say a case says isn’t always what it says.” What, really? Because I just direct-quoted that and a string of cases that say exactly that!
So frustrating. I don’t get the mail, they do, but they are constantly asking me “has anything been filed in X case” in jurisdictions where you can’t check online. “I don’t get the mail, how should I know!!” It just boggles my mind that anyone practicing for 15+ years would ask their associate “when is my deadline to reply to X opposition (that I have in my hand and can see the date it was served)?”
It is really passive aggressive, too, because the emails are always all caps and yelling, and in person I get the fake-nice. Or maybe it’s real nice, and she has no idea what her emails say. She HAS said that I’m great to have in the office, have incredible work ethic, but work at the level of a 3L (uh, really? In 5 years I never lost a motion or a case…and that was before I came here, when I had my own case load!) Pretty toxic.
CKB
Wow! I’m SO glad to hear you are moving on from that situation! I would probably have left long ago! Congrats on your new job, and by all means resign in writing not in person! And don’t tell them where you’re going. It’s really none of their business anyway.
Brant
Yuck. do you even have to tell them what you’re doing/where you’re going? Can’t you just say your last day will be X. IF you want to elaborate, you can simply say “I’ll be doing legal work at [company.]”
FWIW, I would tell them in person, one at a time. But that advise only pertains to a healthy work environment.
anon
That was my thought, I don’t know that you’re really obligated to tell them WHERE you’re going or what you’ll be doing. I am leaving to pursue other opportunities. My last day will be X. Thank you so much for the experience and opportunities over the last X years.
Done. If they email you back horrible nastiness, just make sure you save a copy. :)
Pick my jewelry!
I’m going to a black-tie optional wedding tomorrow. Wearing a very dressy below-knee dress with black lace & tulle and some beading. Shoes are black with some sparkle.
My good jewelry is my every-day stuff: Diamond studs, pearl pendant, silver bracelets. My fancy “real” jewelry consists of a diamond pendant (platinum chain), not much else. I’d have to fill it out with my more every-day stuff, which is nice but not “fancy.”
I have some costume jewelery in black and gold–dangly earrings and two bangles. They are nice but clearly costume. I think they’d compliment the outfit.
So I’m torn— if I’m aiming for fancy, should I go with the costume jewelry, which will stand out more and is more of a “look”, or should I stick with the real stuff, which is higher quality but pretty small / delicate?
Cat
I would pick the real stuff, given the following:
1. The dress you described sounds like it would fit in even at a black tie required wedding, so I wouldn’t worry about needing “extra” fancy.
2. Lace and tulle reads more feminine/dainty to me, leading me towards corresponding accessories.
3. My taste in jewelry, which is obviously personal :) Wear what makes you feel prettiest!
long time lurker
I’d wear your real stuff. Your dress sounds like it already has some fancy elements like beading. The simply diamond pendant sounds like it would complement but not overwhelm.
By way of an update on my wedding dress dilemma, we looked at the invite and it is black tie preferred. UGH. My H feels he need to rent a tuxedo… the jcrew dress and the ones I had been looking at are out. So I went to macy’s.com and sorted by wedding guest attire and found two tea length affordable dresses with elements of sparkle/beads/dressy details. Hope one fits!
TBK
My family minister really needs to stop endorsing me on LinkedIn. He’s endorsed me like five times now. Pastor John, I love you and you’re really sweet but you HAVE NO FRICKIN’ IDEA whether I’m skilled in complex litigation.
joy
Oh, the endorsement thing is out. of. control. People who I hardly knew in grad school are endorsing me for random stuff. Ummm…??
lucy stone
Yes! All my sorority sisters have endorsed me for Civil Litigation. About half of them are kindergarten teachers so I’m not sure they’d be the best judge.
Dulcinea
OMG, I know exactly what you mean….I have a similar issue with an oler family friend. I think that they always just click “endorse” when they get the prompt. I REALLY wish there was a way to opt out of endorsements completely, but the LI help page says point blank that there is not.
On a related note, I have yet to endorse anyone when prompted. Often it prompts me to endorse people who are much much more senior than I am, so I think it would be awkward and silly for little ol’ me to vouch for some Director of Litigation’s (who has argued at SCOTUS) skills in certifying class actions. Other times, it prompts me to endorse people for skills I really don’t know much about, eg, investment strategizing. What does everyone think about giving LI endorsements to others?
cc
You can’t get endorsed if you don’t put your skills. I don’t have mine up.
Leslie Knope
I really think there might be a glitch in the LinkedIn system. I’ve been getting the weirdest endorsements, like two a week for months from a former not-close coworker.
Turtle Wexler
One of my former coworkers keeps doing this to me! He’s an older guy, very nice, not completely tech-savvy. We haven’t worked together in about 5 years. I’m not sure if he’s endorsing everyone on his list for randem skills or if he just wants to get back in touch. Should probably drop him a note saying hey, how’s it going, etc because it makes me feel slightly guilty whenever I get a notification.
NOLA
To piggyback on the LinkedIn thing, I think it was coincidental that my uncle sent me an invitation the day after I viewed his profile. He said he was skiing in Park City, UT, and saw someone with a Saints ski helmet and thought of me. Interesting!
FedTaxAtty
LOL. The minister that married me and my husband does the same thing to me. Does anyone take those endorsements seriously?
PHX
The limo driver who took me to the airport endorsed me for civil litigation. I don’t even think he knew that I was a lawyer when he drove me. And what’s worse? I don’t remember linking to him…..sigh.
Carly
My former hairdresser endorsed me for “civil litigation.” she’s very nice, but that seems a little random. It gave me an option to click “skip” which seems to have not published it in my profile.
joy
Does anyone have a J Crew Hacking jacket? I want one but it is final sale. Do you like it? What is the fit like? For the record, I have tried the schoolboy blazer and hated it. Mostly for the weird fit. If the hacking jacket is anything like that, I’ll have to pass.
Kady
Search “j crew hacking” – there are a dozen bloggers who have reviewed this jacket over the years.
Eleanor
I have a hacking jacket and like it well enough, but I like the schoolboy much better because it’s shorter. The hacking feels a bit long for my preference, so if you dislike the shortness of the schoolboy, the hacking is probably a good bet. My hacking jacket is also wool, and is pretty scratchy on the back of my neck, which is the only place it comes in contact with my skin. Also, the hacking is not as fitted/shrunken as the schoolboy.
qwerty
i have the hacking jacket in tweed from last year and love it. it has a narrow fit and longer cut and seems to pair well with all sorts of dressy and casual bottoms. i also have the schoolboy blazer in cotton herringbone from last spring and hate it, i never wear it. it feels boxy and wrong. i have the same size in both jackets.
MJ
The fit can be wonky…I would not order a JCrew blazer on final sale unless you already know your size. Sometimes their jackets are long, sometimes short, sometimes shrunken, sometimes shapeless. Not worth it. Wait until the next go-around–you can try on in-store or at full price, return and then get on final sale. Nearly all of their jackets and outerwear hit final sale every year.
SoHo
I like the look of the jacket (I have it in tan) because I am tall and I like the lean / long fit (the schoolboy blazer proportions are off on me). However, I made the mistake of ordering a final sale item and the jacket runs really large. I am usually a 6 in most brands, a 4 in J.Crew, and the hacking jacket in a 4 was pretty big on me. I know I can get it taken in, but I’m terrible about alterations and probably never will. I would recommend trying on if you can…
Greener Apple
I like the schoolboy & didn’t like the hacking jacket, mostly because the sleeves were too short and the torso too long for me (I’m 5’9″). The schoolboy jacket is pretty casual, though, so I don’t mind that it’s a bit boxy–I wear it on weekends with jeans when I’m feeling preppier than usual.
Greener Apple
Oops–that was supposed to be in reply to joy :)
Sutemi
I like the look of button up shirts but find them difficult to wear. I have wide, athletic shoulders and biceps and a narrow waist so I end up buying large and taking in the waist darts, but the shoulders still often strain uncomfortably when I bend to pick things up. Knit shirts and/or dolman sleeves that can move a bit across the shoulders when I twist and bend feel much more comfortable.
My button up shirts are all woven no-iron cotton. I was wondering if a silkier or satiny button up shirt might fit more comfortably across wide shoulders? I’m not worried about bust gapping (not much of it). Does anyone have a good recommendation?
Susie
No but I have the same problem so hope you get some suggestions! The best I’ve found for fit are from New York & Company, obviously these are not “top-quality” but for me I haven’t found anything that fits better.
cbackson
Okay, weirdly, I have never been interested in twinsets, but now I sort of want one to wear with an awesome skirt. I have a silver jacquard pencil skirt and I feel like this twinset would look neat with it.
Like, business up top, party on the bottom (vertical mullet?).
Anonnymouse
cbackson, your vertical mullet comment just made my day. Perfect reading to end the work week!
Donna J
Sadly, I think the twinset is dead. I say “sadly”, because I am in my 40’s so I was around in the heyday of twinsets and despite the criticisms here (which I agree with, by the way) they are a comfy, easy to wear, go-to option. We use to call a twinset the company “uniform” so many people wore them! Anyway, fast forward to today and this gal at work (that I do not like ) wears them just about everyday, and I want to leave an anon note on her desk that says “the twinset is dead”. But I work in a notoriously (supposedly) mob-related industry and she might get the wrong idea, and then would continue to wear the twinsets, which is the real crime!
Cynthia Kouril
Cotton Twinsets are a summer staple for me. I get the kind with the short sleeved crew neck bottom layer. I usually wear the set with same color pant or skirt because I am very short an it makes a longer leaner line.
When I’m outdoors and it’s hot, I can take off the cardigan. When I’m in the sub-artic air conditioning in my office, I put the cardigan on. They don’t look rumpled and sweaty the way a suit jacket can be in summer, and they go in the washing machine.
They are simple and timeless and classic. I don’t believe a cami under cardigan is ever formal enough for a law office. And think a collared shirt under a regular cardigan, as opposed to something more substantial approaching a sweater knit jacket, looks like a schoolgirl and robs you of authority.
It reads, pink collar worker, not “I want to become a partner”.
I do a lot of public speaking and find that twin sets with a matched turtle neck as the bottom layer, work better than suits. I get better reviews and feedback when not wearing the suit. Other than the fact that the knit is less likely to make rustling sounds at the microphone, I can’t explain it, unless is makes me look more relaxed and approachable?