Gift Idea: Mini Massage Gun

92 Comments

1. I have the opportunity to extend a work trip in January (Omicron pending) for a few days in LA. Which neighborhoods would you recommend that are semi-walkable? I would prefer not to rent a car and just Uber/Lyft everywhere. I’m looking at AirBnbs and I’m overwhelmed.

   Think I’d rather be on the west side but open to other ideas. Would I be better off staying somewhere that’s fairly self-contained, or should I expect to be Lyfting all over the city to do anything?

   So far I’ve heard Culver City and La Brea. I don’t love Venice. I’ve stayed in Los Feliz to visit friends (cute, but I don’t feel the need to go back) and Santa Monica many times for work and enjoy it but would like something more chill and neighborhoody (and ideally a little less pricey).

   Hoping this group can give me more specific recs or conversely, areas to avoid!

   And if you had a free weekend in LA and you had already done the major touristy things, what would you do? Would you go to Pasadena and see the Huntington Gardens? The Getty Villa? Something else?

   1. Yes to the Huntington, and the Norton Simon museum in Pasadena, as well as the Getty Villa. For neighborhoods, how about Silver Lake?

      It’s been a million years since I lived in LA, but back then Culver City was definitely not a cute walkable place where you’d spend a vacation.

      1. It’sdefinitely gotten cuter and more walkable, but maybe not enoughfor more than an afternoon or evening. I’m biased, but I vote Upper East Side — Pasadena all the way! Second choice would be Santa Monica with a trip to the Getty Villa. I like the Georgian Hotel there.

   2. Koreatown

2. I highly recommend borrowing one of these massage tools before buying one. When I asked my massage therapist what she thought about them, she said she found it annoying and her husband loved it. I borrowed one from my BFF and also found it annoying, but several friends love them. I was happy I did not invest any money before trying it out.

   1. Dang, I bought one as a gift already.

   2. Same. I went to a theragun store in the mall, tried it out, and just hated it.

3. sooo… after 3 years of doing my job, plus a couple other people’s jobs, dealing with difficult inherited staff with just a rainbow of different reasons they make my life hard, a job that has hard and fast deadlines, and a boss who keeps holding a promotion over my head… this morning I finally got pushed over the edge.

   I cried in a meeting. I cried in a meeting I had called where I was trying to explain to my boss that I had answered the question she had asked, not given her the big picture answer I feel she needed to make the decision. But… she wasn’t letting me talk. She immediately launched in on how this error happened (it wasn’t the error she thought it was) because I was both creating and reviewing the work and I needed to have staff do it and… I just started crying. We were on the phone and I tried to hide it but couldn’t.

   And now I’m at home, working from my bed, debating why I literally had to cry for my boss to hear that I needed more staff, needed support in managing my staff (our HR is literally the worst), and needed boss’ internal deadlines to be adjusted.

   1. I’m sorry that happened! If you aren’t already job you should. There are bosses out there who don’t suck!

   2. OMG cut yourself some slack. First of all, remember, your tear ducts are closer to the surface than a man’s. Second of all, this is not a situation of your making and you are a human being stuck in it. Your BOSS should be the one upset here, not you.

      Hang in there!

   3. There’s nothing I hate more than crying in front of other people, so I feel your angst! Sounds like it was time to leave this workplace a while ago, so don’t ignore your frustration.

   4. I’m so sorry. This has not happened to me, but FWIW in my last job I asked my supervisor, “do I have to cry?” (to get my point across about safety concerns) and she said that in fact sometimes people losing it at work creates change when nothing else does. I had thought my question was rhetorical, but she took it seriously.

      I hate this, firstly because we’re trained to always keep our cool (as we should at work), and secondly because getting emotional when you don’t want to is draining, humiliating, and not part of anyone’s job.

   5. Make your resolution in the new year to get a different job. I just left a situation like this with a boss who made me cry twice over six years. (I’m an old–that was preceded by 20 years at other jobs without a tear.) The bad thing about a culture where you aren’t being heard is that eventually you forgot how to speak. And you start taking on the bad behaviors (ghosting, interrupting, not sufficiently training, etc.) that others around you are doing because they are just as panicked and overwhelmed. In my experience, it is not going to get better. The thing about taking on other jobs or problem team members is that you rarely get to give that back. Chances are you can find a job at the next rung up already–without wasting more time and energy waiting on a promotion that may never come or take months or even years to come.

      1. OP, please re-read the above poster’s advice and be kind to yourself.

      2. +1000 to losing your voice

4. Is it odd to ask if a job has remote options when none are mentioned in the advertisement? I applied for a project coordinator position in an Ed-tech startup. I have an interview lined up and in looking through the job again I am only now realizing that the company is located in a different location. I usually filter positions so as to only see those in my current location when using LinkedIn, I must not have done this for this position.

   1. I would not be shy about asking. Even though our positions were advertised as in-person before the pandemic, most of the candidates we got starting in around 2017 asked for remote work. Now they don’t really even ask, they just assume all positions are 100% remote.

   2. If the interview is in less than 3 days or the role is really really exciting to you, I would ask in the first interview: “What is the company’s plan for return to office or long term remote work?”. Say nothing about you needing remote or your error and then just later decline any subsequent interviews if you are invited back but their answer doesn’t work for you.

      If the interview is further out, I would ask the hiring coordinator over email the company’s in-office plan currently and in the future, see what they say, and perhaps use that as an out to decline the interview (though I would phrase as “a planned relocation when I applied is now unlikely to happen due to a change with SO’s job” or some other plausible explanation).

   3. I’ve done this when applying for the job, and made it clear I wasn’t interested in moving. This job wasn’t listed as remote, but I got an interview, where they told me the current person is doing it remotely and they have a number of remote employees, though it’s definitely not the norm. Didn’t get the job, though, and I don’t know whether one factor was that I came off as a little hesitant about committing to starting work at 5 am due to the time difference. I guess that’s fine, though, as I’d be okay with the occasional 5 am meeting and regularly starting at 6 or 7, but don’t really want to have to start work at 5 am every single day.

   4. I think from now on that is going to be a totally normal question so I say go ahead and ask.

   5. Yep, I just did this at a major tech company (non-FAANG) and was told remote was fine. I ended up accepting the offer and couldn’t be more excited! I also had similarly open-to-remote responses for a couple of other positions that I didn’t end up getting, so it’s worth trying for sure.

   6. Definitely worth asking. My company is still advertising positions as being located at HQ or a satellite location, but I’m confident we would consider a fully remote candidate.

      Also, have you looked at the company’s Glassdoor reviews? It might give you a sense of how flexible they are about remote work, although I realize it may vary by department.

5. Does anyone have any favorite Christmas dessert recipes, maybe a cake? Trying to decide what to make on Saturday but nothing is jumping out at me.

   1. I am always so full after Christmas dinner that I don’t enjoy a big dessert – would be delighted with a plate of cookies left out to nibble on at will :)

   2. Our family’s traditional Christmas dessert is lemon angel pie. It’s a meringue filled with a mixture of lemon curd and whipped cream, and seems nice and light after a big holiday dinner.

      The Buche de Noel recipe at Sally’s Baking Addiction is quite a project but is achievable and delicious.

   3. I have been doing this one for years. You need persimmons so it may only work if you’re in a persimmon area of the country – you’re looking for the heart shaped ones, not the flattened circle ones.

      Anyway it’s very festive and delicious. I don’t usually make the brandy whipped cream, I just so regular whipped cream or even the nozzle can of whipped cream because my kids love it.

      https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/19553/mrs-reagans-persimmon-pudding/

      1. (Another fussy thing, I only use golden raisins/sultanas with this. The regular brown raisins aren’t as good )

   4. Nigella Chocolate Orange cake! Super easy, makes the house smell like orange and it also gets better with age so can make ahead.

   5. https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/christmas_pudding_41498

      It’s Traditional, but not necessarily for my family. I make this or something similar about every 3 years. You might be cutting it close to have it done for Saturday, since it takes about 2 1/2 days, most of which is “let this sit and” soak/hold/cook.

   6. King Arthur Flour’s Flourless Chocolate Cake – looks fancier in real life than the pictures; very delicious. Quite straightforward, despite my initial concerns. I skip the espresso powder.

      1. This is so easy and so good. For a fancy presentation, I pile scoops of ice cream on top and drizzle with caramel sauce. See the birthday cake recipe at What’s Gaby Cooking for inspiration. I don’t use her recipe–King Arthur is better.

   7. Rice in cream with a red berry sauce is the traditional Christmas pudding where I’m from. That’s basically boiled, unsalted short grain rice (risotto rice is great) stirred into sweetened lightly whipped cream, with a raspberry or strawberry coulis.

      Or what about a pannacotta, maybe strawberry and basil, or passion fruit, with some gingerbread crumbles? Something that can be premade in a small but decorative portion, and not fussed with at all on Saturday.

   8. I often do Sticky Toffee Pudding- in a cake pan rather than individual ramekins. I like that the cake isn‘t too sweet so people can add as much or little of the sauce as they want.

   9. This fresh ginger cake is unbelievably delicious. I can’t rest while it’s in the house. It calls to me. https://www.foodlibrarian.com/2010/05/david-lebovitzs-fresh-ginger-cake.html

   10. Cranberry upside down cake from simply recipes is my go to
       Festive and delicious

       1. +1. Ina Garten has a good one. https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/easy-cranberry-apple-cake

   11. Check out sour cream raisin pie or sour cream rum raisin pie recipes. You can make it with a meringue on top (my preference). It’s super simple and doesn’t taste like sour cream in any way–it’s more like the world’s best rum raisin ice cream or rice pudding in pie form. It’s something most people haven’t had (unless they’re Minnesota or midwest). I get so many compliments every time.

   12. Not a traditional holiday dessert but poor man’s pudding (actual name, not just my mom’s payday is in a week name… only discovered that other people call it the same name as an adult… ) is always a favorite winter quick dessert.

   13. Cranberry raspberry pie.

6. @Sloan — can you remind me your burner email? Just wanted to compare 7th floor notes :)

   1. sloansabbithe t t e at gmail! (sans spaces)

   2. Hope treatment is going well for you, Curious!

      1. Thanks, NYNY :)

   3. Just a quick note to say I hope it’s going OK. And I hope you’ve got lots of trash TV and good podcasts going to distract and are back home soon.

   4. you’re in my thoughts, Curious! I hope it’s going ok too.

7. Best sites for pre-owned designer clothing? I have my eye on a pre-owned Burberry coat. I like Tradesy because they allow returns for any reason and I don’t want to spend $$$ for something where I’m not 1000% sure it’ll fit. I’m ruling Poshmark and eBay out for this reason, and the coat is no longer being made so I can’t just go to Nordstrom and try it on. Are there other similar sites for pre-owned clothing that you would recommend? Thanks!

   1. The real real? Also eBay etc if the individual seller allows returns.

   2. No other recs besides the Real Real but just some advice, if you can, go try on similar styles in person so you know if the coat is likely to suit your proportions and how Burberry’s size chart works IRL. Take a few measurements of a similar coat that fits you well (like waist, shoulder) so you can compare them to the seller’s measurements – and if they’re not posted, message them and ask!

      1. I’ll do that, thanks!

      2. + 1. Burberry is cut for the narrow of shoulder.

   3. The Real Real

8. Finally having a day off tomorrow that overlaps with my son being in daycare and my husband is working. What does your dream day off look like? I only need to run by the ATM and am otherwise wide open. Getting my hair cut today and have a massage scheduled for next week.
   Triple vaxxed but semi-covid cautious given the toddler.

   1. Morning walk around the neighborhood or a park/somewhere pretty. Then go to the bookstore and get a new book, get takeout (or eat in depending on how cautious) at a favorite lunch place or get a fancy coffee/baked good. Go home and read my book in the bath. Best day.

      1. This is what I’m doing today, except it’s the stay at home version: went for a walk, reading a library ebook, and baking cookies and muffins (most of which will go in the freezer for later).

   2. Go for a nature/park walk, get a page-turner from the library, and read by the fire while delicious takeout gets delivered.

   3. Private lesson @ tennis club. The one real envy I have with women who don’t work or are in such flexible jobs that they can routinely take half a day off is tennis. I tried an evening league once and when games start at 6 halfway across the city, that’s even flextiming Big Law hard to pull off. Plus, I like having someone better than me to hit against. My retirement villa will be at a place with plenty of tennis.

   4. Just had a day like this. I drank champagne and wrapped presents with a friend, then had fancy delivery that my husband hates, more wine, and watched the first few episodes of And Just Like That. 10/10 recommend.

   5. leisurely in-person shopping (KN95 in tow), indulgent lunch out with a book (patio with heaters), watching a show I love but husband does not :)

9. So freaking annoyed. I’m technically on vacation today but a mess of a case went sideways (again) and I’m the only person who can deal with it- and it can’t wait until after the holidays. I do not get paid enough to deal with this on vacation but if I don’t deal with it it turns into an even bigger mess of a case that will drag on. Grrrr.

10. WWYD?

    At work, we are all supposed to be vaxxed. AFAIK, we all are. Except for one new hire, who I guess has to test weekly (weekly seems inadequate). IDK how you diligence testing, but I feel like work needed to be more upfront about this to us coworkers before hiring this person and letting this person start in person.

    From a legal perspective, IDK if you can even ask this in the interview process or not. And the official word is that people are required to be vaccinated (the requirement isn’t vax or test, it was vax only or work remotely or for some people, face dismissal). And we have >100 employees, so I’m not sure which disputed court case applies to us (I don’t think we’re federal contractors, but maybe someone in the org has a federal contract of some kind).

    I’m just really annoyed and really annoyed to be told via whisper. I just dealt with 18 months of school / camp closures and I’m sure schools will be rocky in January (or I’ll have gotten it from my kids then), so an unvaxxed coworker is theoretically making me stabby (and everyone else in our wing). I’m glad with kids on break that I will just be in 1 more day b/w now and after NYE, but that’s when sh*t will really hit the fan probably.

    1. Get over it or quit.

       1. It’s totally reasonable for her to expect her employer to enforce its vaccine mandate. Weekly testing is not a substitute for vaccination.

          1. It literally is. In the OSHA rule and in most mandates.

          2. Of course! But the poster asked WWYD. Unfortunately, it sounds like she’s not in a position to get this person to work from home, so quitting or accepting it are her only two options. As some posters below noted, this person could be exempt for a medical or religious reason. Regardless of what anyone thinks about those exemptions, they exist in the laws of the US, and again, the poster can’t do much to change the situation.

    2. Wow I’m so sorry that’s awful. I don’t have any advice, just commiseration. Somewhat relatedly, I thought all my colleagues were vaxxed, until one guy started ranting about conspiracies while the rest of us were discussing boosters. He was gone the next day, and I haven’t seen him since.

    3. I’d be annoyed. If your work is changing the rules, they ought to be candid about it. “Hey, we’re now vax or test.”

    4. Surely your 100% vax requirement allows for an exemption process, right? Presumably this person qualifies for one, and rather than just letting them go about your business, your org is trying to protect you by having them test weekly.

       1. Right. And no, you aren’t entitled to know that, or why.

       2. I concur with Cat. That’s exactly what is happening. Even companies with vax mandates will have people who seek exemptions based on disability/religion and are usually subject to parallel standards like always masking & frequent testing. This is basically what the OSHA standards that were stayed – and then the stay lifted on Friday – required.

          1. Clarifying – the OSHA standards say employers must either (1) have a hard vax mandate with exemptions; or (2) have a soft vax mandate, which is vax-or-test.
             Many private mandates (#1 above) are only allowing employees to remain unvaccinated if they have an exemption. It sounds like that’s what your employer did (get vaxxed or get an exemption & test).

    5. Of course you can ask that in an interview process.

       1. This can potentially box someone into revealing a medical condition, or at least creating the perception that they have one.

       2. um, tread with caution, you may quickly get into illegal territory.

    6. Weekly testing isn’t really adequate with Omicron, no. There aren’t many medical contraindications to all vaccines that wouldn’t also require total isolation to avoid infection, but maybe there is some obscure thing I haven’t heard of (there are a lot of weird random things in medicine), like an allergy or reaction that isn’t associated with a high risk condition.

       Feelings aside, coworkers who aren’t boosted can be vectors anyway, and even a percentage of boosted coworkers could be, since the vaccine just isn’t as effective at preventing infection and spread with the Omicron variant (boosting obviously still a good idea and still confers a more protection from infection than not boosting). So in terms of “what would I do” I guess I would be planning on the assumption that the virus may go around the office unless people are also consistently masking and following other protocols to prevent infection that are needed to work in tandem with vaccination.

    7. Randomly, are any of you planning to just start testing? I have allergies and sinus issues, so I am not 100% sure I’d catch an infection, especially a mild one. I do have one pregnant co-worker and one co-worker who cares for a sick relative, so I don’t want to be their vector (my kids are vectors to me when they go back in January; we are laying low for the holidays / EOY work being very busy, so not really worried about now).

       1. I’m planning to test my family using at-home rapid tests before a few upcoming holiday celebrations (typically morning-of) where we will be seeing higher-risk vaccinated folks or unable-to be vaccinated kids. With the announcement of at home tests being sent out by the fed govt in January, I think regular surveillance testing may become more feasible for many.
          My kids are currently tested weekly in school and I plan to continue that until things get a lot better (they’re also recovered and vaxxed, so it’s unlikely they’d have a bad case, but it’s also no impact on them to do a weekly cheek swab that’s administered at school).

    8. Re religious exemptions, I feel that a lot of orgs are cracking down on this (including church-of-ones). Is there any non-church-of-one that would forbid this? Or countering with “you got an on-site flu shot, so zip it.”

11. I ordered the bargain dress from Target that was featured last Friday and it arrived today. Very nice, especially for the price. Fairly thick material that skims over my lumps. I love dresses for warm weather, so easy to just throw on one piece and be done with it. I also ordered the dress that was in the “also consider” part of the page at Target. Women’s Sleeveless Rib Knit Ballet Dress – A New Day, it’s the same thick ribbed material, and has pockets! I think these will both be great for warm weather. I fell between a small and a medium but based on previous Target experience I got a M and am happy I did.

12. Posting again for the Pecan Bars
    Here you go!

    Rich Pecan Pie Bars

    CRUST
    1/2 c. + 2T butter
    4 oz cream cheese
    1/4 c. sugar
    1 3/4 c. flour
    1/2 t. salt
    1/2 t. baking powder

    Preheat oven to 425f. Butter a 10×15 pan or similar size.

    Beat the butter and cream cheese until smooth. Cut in the sugar, flour, salt and baking powder. Mix it together until crumbly, yet it holds together if you squeeze it. Dump it in to the pan (crumbly is fine), and press it down all around the pan and at the edges. Bake for 10 minutes and remove from the oven.

    Reduce the oven temperature to 350f.

    FILLING
    4 eggs
    ¾ c. corn syrup
    1 c. sugar
    4 T melted butter
    ¼ c. cream
    2 T rum (optional)
    2 t. vanilla
    ½ t. salt
    1 ¾ c. chopped pecans

    Whisk all the ingredients together. Pour it over the crust. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the top looks puffy. Remove from the oven and let cool completely before cutting up.

    MY NOTES
    The recipe uses 1/2 package of cream cheese, and I never seem to be able to use the other half, cuz as a single person I can’t justify making two batches at once. So make a dip? I use a 9.5 x 13.5 inch pan that has ridges and is “non-stick.” I’ve never had a sticking problem. I use an entire 8 oz package of chopped pecans from TJs, because what can I do with ¼ c. of pecans?! I bake it for 32 minutes.

    1. Cream cheese + some sugar + vanilla = good “caramel” dipping sauce for apples

    2. as long as bagels exist in the world, there is never any trouble using up cream cheese at my house!

       1. Same. I actually ran out of bagels today and was eating crackers and cream cheese.

          1. I’m southern and triscuits + cream cheese + pepper jelly is a thing here. Is it not universal? I get bagels, but to me, our cracker items are more nibbles for showers and parties vs breakfast food.

    3. If you melt about 1/4 stick of cream cheese into a jar of pasta sauce you get a wonderful creamy sauce.

       1. Also works with chili you made too spicy

13. Have any of you ever wondered if you are the bad, horrible boss / person in the office? I have always had great and positive feedback in my career. I used to manage teams and lateraled out of management about a decade ago, haven’t had direct reports in years. At my somewhat-new firm (accountant, 4 years as a partner), it seems that every request or suggestion I make causes a huge inconvenience – multiple partners and admin staff involved – or a response that could be on the Reddit for malicious compliance. I’m starting to wonder if it is “me” not “them” as I can’t put my thumb on how many people need to be involved. I’m a little scared to cherry pick examples, but hanging my degree on my wall required 7 people, my suggested question for the staff satisfaction survey (add comment fields not just fixed answers) led to 4 voicemails and 10+ concerned emails, and when I asked our internal accountant for a reminder of how we did XYZ last year (an annual process), he told me he purged all emails prior to January 1 of this year so he didn’t remember.

    I know examples only go so far, so I guess what I’m asking is, is there some kind of gut check I can do to figure out if I’m asking or sharing things in a way that is just awful? I don’t want to make someone’s work environment worse, and I also don’t want to feel like I am questioning my professionalism or sanity.

    1. Wait….did you ask someone else to hang your degree for you? In every office I’ve ever worked in this would be so far out of touch you’d be known as the high maintenance one until you left. People usually just bring in a nail and hammer, no discussions or emails with anyone required.

       1. In my office you definitely cannot hang things yourself because of possible wall damage. This didn’t sound off to me.

    2. Based on what you said here, I think it’s them, not you, and I suspect the culture at the new place won’t be a good fit for you. I think it’s great that you’re open to the possibility that it’s a “you” problem, but you have consistently gotten positive feedback in the past and until now haven’t had reasons to doubt your competency.

       The examples you provided (and yeh, I know, it’s hard to give examples in situations like this) make me think your new place focuses on the wrong priorities and has a culture of bad management. You likely won’t feel appreciated for the skills you bring or trusted to deliver the results you know how to deliver.

       Take care of yourself and keep your network active. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

    3. It sounds like an extreme cultural clash between you and the office culture. I’d get out as soon as you can because it’s going to be hard for you to succeed if they view you as the oddball (even if you’re totally behaving normally – and it seems like you are!)
       To the broader question, I’ve sometimes seen employee/manager clashes where neither are completely in the wrong, but it’s such an obvious bad fit that it doesn’t seem like they could ever work well together. Both sides are likely out there telling their own “horrible boss” or “horrible employee” story – but it is really more about the combination of their personalities being a problem, so neither will be a horror story to their future boss/employee.

    4. This is a “needs more info” for me to better understand.

       The staff survey one jumped out at me – in what context were you making suggestions? I would not expect that to be a part of your role but maybe you are on the development committee, etc.

       On the internal accountant question, if it happens every year, can you explain why you are relying on him for it? I can’t tell if it’s his job to manage the process or your job and you were asking for support.

       But the “malicious compliance” point jumped out and it might be worth just asking for direct feedback from people you work with. I regularly ask people I work with (peers, direct reports, admin, other departments) what I can do for them and if they have feedback for me on how I can do better. I listen and offer suggestions for things I could try that are responsive to their concerns. I try to do it after every big project and then at year end. I often get really helpful feedback that helps me grow as a manager/colleague. It helps me build trust and I take the feedback seriously.

14. Help me find a desk/find search terms that apply to a desk I will like?
    Particulars:
    -I have dual monitors.
    -I have a lot of tangly cables due to patchy WFH setup and would like to have a way to corral them.
    -I want plenty of storage and ideally some flexibility in in it, i.e., not just one big drawer.

    In an ideal world I want a desk straight out of Rebecca with pigeonholes, but willing to settle for the modern equivalent. ;) Any suggestions?

Comments are closed.