Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: ‘Meet Me at the Punch Bowl’ Dress

111 Comments

1. I’m looking forward to tonight! I’m going to eat Cuban and see Tartuffe! And tomorrow I get go hike the Billy Goat Trail. Woot!

   1. Ahhhh…. sounds wonderful.

      Have a mojito for me.

   2. Love the Billy Goat trail. With all of the rain we’ve had recently, some of the water crossings may require more of a leap than normal. Have fun!

2. I feel like this is a little too twee for the office. For weekend, I love it.

   1. I don’t think the shape is to twee for a business casual office, but the neckline is definitely not appropriate. In looking at the review pictures, it goes halfway down the b00bs and most reviewers wore a tank underneath for modesty. If you have to wear something under it to make it appropriate, it’s just not work appropriate.

      1. Many of us who are more endowed need to wear something underneath most tops to make them work appropriate.

      2. I’d just sew the neckline up a few inches.

      3. Yep, this dress would show about 8 inches of cleavage on me. Not appropriate for my office, or really, know that I think about it, my weekends!

      4. I have this dress. I am 5’1″. The waist sits in the right place, and the skirt is knee length on me. I wear a tank under it for a little more coverage. My real issue is that the sleeves are quite puffy, not really a cap sleeve at all, and that makes it look a little girlish.

   2. Whoa, that neckline… am I looking at it wrong, or would you be able to see the middle part of any sensible bra?

   3. I feel like “too twee” applies to most of the stuff on Modcloth. Of course its all too short for me anyway, so I don’t even look…

      1. Preach.

3. The neckline is cut way too low for most curvy women.

4. How does everyone store their fine jewelry? Until recently, the only pieces of “fine” jewelry I had were my wedding set (which I never take off) and a pair of gold earrings I got for college graduation. Recently, however, I inherited some pieces from my grandmother and my mother-in-law passed on quite a few of her own jewelry to me. I have the large Andover jewelry box from Pottery Barn but honestly it’s no longer big enough. Plus I worry that it doesn’t keep everything separate enough. We have a safe in the basement and I put some of the most valuable items there, but it’s too inconvenient to put it all there since I do wear these pieces regularly. Is there a way to keep them in our bedroom that is secure and that stores them nicely (i.e., prevents scratching etc.)?

   1. I have a cushioned/velvet lined jewelry box (think very traditional) that I keep on my dresser with my inherited pieces in it. What I have is nice and very sentimental, but not incredibly valuable. When we travel, I do hide the whole box, but on a daily basis, I just take the (very minimal) risk that someone could break in.

   2. I store all my fine jewellery in velvet lined boxes and they are all kept in a wardrobe safe. I wear fine jewellery daily and this is the best way I have found to store them safely.

   3. I keep most things in the boxes or pouches they came in, in a dresser drawer. My dresser also has a drawer fitted with velour covered trays and that’s where I put the pieces I wear the most/ daily. If I travel, I hide everything, but we were robbed once on a regular weekday in broad daylight so it doesn’t matter…thieves know where to look. I don’t have any one piece that is worth a lot, but I do have gold that has appreciated, two very nice watches, and some heirlooms. I do love the pouches. If I travel, I decide beforehand if I’m taking gold or silver, and only take what I can wear…one watch, my wedding rings, maybe two pair of earrings, a gold or silver neck and a bracelet.

      1. This dresser sounds great… tell me more about it? Brand? New? Old?

         1. I’ve seen a jewelry drawer in a lot of dressers/chests in the “fine furniture” price point. Some are even lockable. My Broughton Hall brand chest has a drawer, but no lock.

      2. I have a dresser like this where I keep most of my jewelry in the boxes they came in. The truly nice/sentimental stuff I keep hidden (my jewelry drawer in the dresser doesn’t lock, but unless you were looking at the dresser closely, you might not realize they’re there–it’s built so they look like the trim on the dresser, if that makes sense). Can’t help with brands, unfortunately, as I took this one from my brother and I have no idea where he got it.

         1. That dresser sounds amazing. Now that I know it exists I am on the hunt.

            1. Wow, amazingly easy to find.

               http://www.havertys.com/furniture/midtown-dresser-mirror

   4. I have a very imperfect system of lots of jewelry boxes on a dresses and then I hide them whenever we go away or someone is doing work in the apartment. BUT – I am considering upgrading to a locking, hanging mirror armoire along these lines: http://tinyurl.com/ogz2kdy

      There are lots of similar options. I feel like it would clear my dresser, make it easy to see everything in one place and it’d be nice to have the option to lock it. Obviously, if someone broke in it wouldn’t make a difference, but I’d feel better about random work being done in the apartment when I’m not home.

      1. Yeah I’m less concerned about break-ins and more about house cleaners. The company we use doesn’t always send the same person. In the past, I figured if something was missing, I’d know it was the cleaner. But now I worry the cleaning company would try to pin it on the au pair (whom I trust completely). I’d just prefer not to worry about it.

         1. That’s more or less my thinking. Obviously, if someone wants to steal, even a safe might not be enough and certainly not a locked mirror. But I feel like not leaving things easily accessible minimizes the chances of the easy temptation variety and even if it’s just my paranoia it’d make me feel better about our super having keys so maintenance work can be done when we’re not home, having a dog walker, or hiring a cleaning service, etc.

         2. Keep valuables in a tampon box. Literally no one will look there.

      2. I’m mostly attracted to the idea of a clean dresser. I’d probably still keep my grandmother’s jewelry box for everyday pieces, but I love the idea of having an actual place for my jewelry built into the dresser/mirror. I love having compartments for everything. Visiting one of those old apothecary shops with walls lined with drawers gives me thrills.

   5. I have one of these in my bedroom for pieces I wear frequently enough to want them easily accessible.

      http://www.overstock.com/Gifts-Flowers/Morelle-Kimberly-Black-Leather-Jewelry-Box/6614432/product.html

   6. I have a related question. I have a ton of jewelry that I never wear because I always forget what I have. My jewelry box is completely stuffed. Does anyone have a good way to store things like statement necklaces so that they are easily found? We are out of over the door space, otherwise I would have considered one of those racks. Not too concerned about the security aspect.

      1. My statement necklaces hang on hangers in the closet. Like regular clothes hangers.

      2. I have a jewelry tree on my dresser for that. Not ideal for everything because some things tarnish but good for a lot. I have a friend who hangs hers up on the wall on ribbons. It actually looks very pretty.

      3. On stick-on hooks on the inside of my closet doors.

      4. My aunt has all her statement necklaces hung on a corkboard with straight pins. It looks neat and organized and like more pretty decor in her bedroom, and she says she is much more likely to wear her jewelry since it is all in sight.

         Normally I avoid Pinterest like the plague, since its such a time-suck and I can never make anything look as good as they do and I don’t generally like crafts, but there are some reasonable looking suggestions (that look like something I could actually handle buying or making) if you search for necklace storage or necklace corkboard

         1. A corkboard is genius! That would solve the issue I have with some of the solutions that have set dimensions because some of my necklaces are much longer or have really big statement pieces. I’d be able to move the straight pins around to customize.

            Thank you everyone else for the ideas! I’ll try those out if the corkboard doesn’t work for me.

         2. I did this by getting the squares of cork from Wal-Mart. I stuck them to the wall with command poster strips then put a pretty piece of scrap book paper over the cork. Then I just bought some nicer looking push pins that I stuck in a row across the top to hang necklaces. All told it cost less than $10.00 and was very easy

      5. I have several (like, 6 or 8) decorative hooks on the wall in my bedroom and I hang my larger pieces from them. It makes a nice accent wall and it’s also very convenient.

      6. I have all my statement necklaces hanging in my closet from tie/belt racks. Works like a charm.

      7. I have some little hook racks from anthropologie – key racks and things like that – that I hang up next to my mirror, above the console table I use as a vanity. Then I can display my things and have them accessible where I get ready.

   7. I just happened to see this online this morning. Only safe if it’s not noticed, of course, but maybe useful for most purposes:

      http://www.improvementscatalog.com/hanging-closet-safe/outlet/storage-outlet/12686

   8. I bought a little jewelry armoire from World Market. It has a ring area in the top part, then drawers, and the side part for necklaces. I store a lot of jewelry in pill ziplocs so it doesn’t tarnish or get dirty. Some items are in the little drawstring bags they came in. The stuff I wear more regularly is in dishes on my dresser.
      Mine is similar to this: http://www.worldmarket.com/product/white+kari+jewelry+armoire.do?&refType=&from=Search

   9. It’s very hard to keep valuable jewelry secure except in a safe. Or by wearing it. Or by having a home security system.

      I just bought SimpliSafe, as was recommended on this site. Thank you!

      When my apartment was burglarized 2 weeks ago, they went through EVERYTHING in my bedroom and bathroom with a fine tooth comb. Every drawer, cabinet, box in the closet, under the bed, under the mattress, medicine cabinet etc…. Similarly they combed the living room and study. Kitchen and hall closet…. not so much. And they were fast. They were good.

      Some things that I can advise, based on recommendations form the cops ……

      Think of the atypical places in your home, and then think of a container that doesn’t look like a jewelry box. That is a better place. Yes, inconvenient….. but if you don’t have a safe or security system, really consider this.

      Those simple “hidden safes” that look like a book on your bookshelf can be very effective.

      Consider putting a fake security camera up and a security system sign even if you don’t have one. The cops said that these really are deterrents. You can buy them online.

      Know what your insurance policy covers. For mine, it is replacement cost but I relatively low cap on coverage. So you must have a rider for valuable jewelry. Only you can decide if this is worth it for you.

      At a minimum, lay out your jewelry on your bed one day and take photographs of everything. You will be grateful later.

   10. I actually keep all my necklaces on pushpins off the wall in my bedroom. I have surrounded a portrait my best friend did of me and my partner and it looks fabulous! I use my necklaces much more now.

5. I have a friend trying to start an Arbonne business. I know it’s a multi-level marketing company, and I’m trying to talk the friend out of it.

   I don’t know how smart people get pulled into this stuff, honestly, if I see one more add for Jamberry or Thrive on my facebook, I’m going to go nuts.

   1. I’m so tired of Advocare, too. Jamberry thankfully seems to be on its way out.

      1. Maybe in your area – here it is just picking up steam. My least favorite right now are Jamberry, Rodan & Fields, Beachbody/Shakeology and Thirty-One – that is what I see spamming my Facebook feeds. Oh, and anything that smells – essential oils, candles, etc – ugh.

         As far as I can tell, the biggest market for people who sell MLM products seems to be to each other – its like the old joke of the village where everyone is employed taking in everyone else’s laundry. I agree with Sidney Bristow below that if the number of MLM posts outnumber regular ones (or if the overall number of MLM posts overwhelm my feed of things I actually care about), the person gets blocked or unfriended.

         Friends don’t spam friends with MLM.

   2. Or Advocare or any of those home jewelry or purse parties. The products are actually amazing (Arbonne) and 1/1,000,000 people make a great living off of it. A friend of the family is a VP of something at Arbonne and started making 6-figures on commissions the first year. BUT it’s a pain in the ass. I have unfriended a high-school friend who just started working for Rodan & Fields. (Another company that is absolutely terrible because it sells the Proactive auto-ship/auto-charge scheme to teenagers.)

      Be honest and tell her you have been asked to take part in many of these “businesses” and it always ends in friends being guilted into purchasing overpriced things they don’t need. Tell her you value the relationship and you don’t want this to get in the way. That will probably go far with her especially since you’re far from the only person who feels like this. Might make her reconsider.

   3. Seriously, I have so many facebook friends trying to sell me Arbonne, Stella & Dot, Herbalife, etc., etc. I think it’s because many of my friends are now starting to have children and they figure this is something they can do part-time while raising their children? I usually go to the first party, find something to buy, and then end up disabling posts from those friends because I find it quite invasive to have my facebook feed filled with straight up advertising.

   4. Mary Kay, Rodan & Fields, and the eye lash one are the worst offenders for me right now. The auto-invite into the Facebook groups to support said “business” is equally annoying.

   5. MLM or direct sales business are a quick way to get unfollowed/unfriended by me. A woman I really respect just got into R+F and I had managed to ignore it. She reached out to me privately about it with the general schtick. I told her I wasn’t interested and thankfully she dropped it. I used to represent MLM businesses when I worked for a firm, so I have no love lost for them. I tell everyone and anyone I can not to do it and that I have personal experience and information that backs up my position. You can only do so much.

      I also always send the Mary Kay article that came out a couple years ago that exposes how many of them actually make money (not a lot). I think if you Google the Pink Truth it will come up.

   6. Add Shakeology to the list.

      Also, when did it become common for people to start Go Fund Me campaigns to raise money for their hobbies/wants? I think I’m a fairly generous person, and I will always contribute to someone’s campaign if they are raising money for charity, unexpected tragedies, etc. But b/c you or your kid wants to go compete in a XYZ competition? It’s a hobby. It’s a luxury. I don’t ask other people to fund my vacations.

      Hrmph. Get off my lawn.

      1. People really do this?! I’m a “millenial” and this strikes me as incredibly entitled and rude. I have a bunch of pretty expensive hobbies, and guess what – if I want a new piece of equipment or travel to a special class, I umm…save up for it? Get off my lawn indeed!

         1. Oh yes, it’s been done. I was recently emailed about a go fund me campaign for someone’s international vacation. The timing particularly burned as my husband and I had just decided to not take a similar vacation because we felt it wasn’t the best spend of money.

         2. I have a worse example. A friend of a friend decided to adopt a baby and crowdfund the expenses. (Adoption fees, diapers, etc.) I’m honestly wondering if this is the natural progression from the online baby/wedding registries, especially the “honeymoon registries.” This is a very, very slippery slope ya’ll. Curious what others think.

            1. I’ve seen this before, too. And it bothers me as well. At some point, you have to own up to the reality that things cost money, and there will be things in life that cost more money than you have, and part of being an adult is either (1) figuring out a way to earn the money or (2) coming to terms with the fact that you can’t afford it, and that life will go on.

            2. WHAT. I’ve known I’ve wanted to adopt since I was a little girl. I’m 34 and still don’t know how I am going to pay for it along with student loans. I would NEVER do this. Gross.

            3. I think this is actually very common. I know two couples who have done this.

   7. Yeah, I hate them too. But the Arbonne mint deodorant is seriously the best smelling thing ever!

   8. I’ve blocked all those friends on Facebook once the number of MLM posts outweighs the number of normal posts that I’d care about seeing. It all drives me nuts. I do not ever attend parties.

      I do have a friend who sells Mary Kay and has never once tried to sell me anything. It works perfectly for me because I know that if I want something from Mary Kay that I can just seek her out to order it.

   9. A guy I briefly dated is selling Arbonne stuff now – I consider that me dodging a bullet.

      Also annoying is Younique I think it’s called. Apparently the makeup is decent but it’s always the most annoying friends of friends who keep spamming me.

6. I contacted someone about opportunities in a different practice area from what I have done in the past, let me call it “Field X”. They wrote back asking me to confirm if I am looking to do something different and offered to forward my resume to people who work in the area I have worked in in the past i.e. “Field A”. How do I convey that yes, I am looking to do something different but would also appreciate them forwarding my resume to the other contacts in “Field A”. This is an organisation where I am trying to get my foot in the door but I also don’t want to seem flaky or unsure of what I want.

   1. Make the case for why you are so interested in the organisation – what about it in particular makes you willing to be flexible enough to consider a position there in Field X or in Field A.

7. This is why I’m not on FB.

8. Random Q: I just saw my podiatrist (bunions, flat feet) and when I pressed him for what kind of shoes I should wear, he said Danskos and Asics. Not that helpful. I just went to a comfort shoe store and tried on a ton of things, and it seems like there’s a big divide between the companies: some have rigid soles, and some have super super flexible soles designed to mimic the feeling of being barefoot. (Arche, Arcopedico, etc.) I know the Podiatry Shoe Review blog or whatever seems to prefer rigid soled shoes… like Danskos, Eileen Fisher, etc.

   Anyone have any intel on this? Trying to find a good source on the web for more reading. Thanks in advance!

   1. Barking Dog Shoes is good.

   2. I think it’s a matter of personal preference. I really, really can not wear shoes with a rigid sole. They make my feet hurt like no other and give me blisters on my soles. So finding bare-foot or flexible style shoes was an epiphany. But other people love rigid sole shoes and feel nothing but pain in other shoes. You do you.

   3. I’m a surgeon so I’m on my feet all day, and some of the operations I do take 18 or 20 hours so those can be really long days. On long days, I always wear my Danskos (with compression socks underneath to prevent varicose veins!)

      My feet hurt the first 3 days or so that I wore them, but I noticed that my back and hips and knees didn’t hurt any more, and my feet must have gotten used to them (or maybe the hard soles molded a little?) because now my feet also feel great in them.

      They are mighty unattractive though.

9. I am seeing a link to 35 comments on the main post, but when I click it, only 5 comments appear, the latest being from 9:49am. Sigh.

   1. Refresh. I have the same problem and it seems to work.

   2. Same problem. I have to refresh several times.

      1. Refreshing didn’t help. I had to close the browser entirely and reopen the page, and then it worked.

         1. I usually read this site in Chrome, using an incognito window. Incognito is supposed to not keep cookies (or something), so it may help with some of the refreshing issues. I’ve had to refresh when coming back, but one refresh (hitting the button on the tool bar) usually brings me up to date on comments

   3. Meg Murry suggested a hard refresh (Ctrl+F5) yesterday that is yielding slightly better results for me. It takes the number of refreshes down to 1 or 2 to get new comments.

      Thanks Meg!

   4. Similar problem. The comment count on the main page seems to be more or less accurate, but in order for the comments themselves to update, I have to refresh once or twice after clicking through to the post.

   5. I emptied the browser cache (Firefox 38.05, on Windows 7) this morning and got an accurate comment number the very first time visiting the site. After that, I’ve had to refresh each page 3 times to get the comments themselves to refresh.

   6. I don’t think Kat cares at all. It’s been so long since this started happening and she has not resolved it.

   7. Sigh. Working on more changes to the caching program. Also just had a good email with the tech person behind AMA; really hopeful she’ll be able to help.

10. Does anyone have a recommendation for a mat to use with a standing desk?

    1. I have this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OUFX0YY?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00

       I stand about 5-6 hours per day and find that it’s quite comfortable, but you may need a bit more padding if you stand substantially longer than that or have pre-existing back issues.

    2. I have this one and have been very happy with it. I’ve been using it about 4 months. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005UA2WNI?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00A

    3. I’m sorry it’s not firsthand, but a couple of friends have enthusiastically endorsed Varidesks and the mats they sell. That’s what I plan to buy later this year.

11. I’m a long-time devotee of the J.Crew No 2 Pencil Skirt in Double Serge Wool. I hated the cotton double twill version. They came out with a newer cotton blend this year, and I gave it a chance.

    1 hour into work and it’s wrinkled like crazy. Trash, trash trash. Boo.

    I don’t know why I expected better.

    1. I feel this way about ALL cotton suiting – BR/jcrew/AT/BrooksBrothers and stay away now.

12. Related, but not really, to a question above: I have a milestone birthday coming up in the next several months, and I want to buy myself a pair of diamond studs. Where did everyone purchase theirs? Forgive me if this has been addressed in a previous post or comments thread. Thanks!

    1. Not helpful unless you’re in Atlanta, but local jeweler.

    2. I have a friend who is into jewelry and knows jewelers and introduced me to one who gave me a good price at the jewelry show when it was in town. Now that I’ve moved, I’d do something like blue Nile (but would trust my friend and her connections to shop for me long distance). I got them insured immediately after getting them.

    3. Costco

       1. I’ve heard great things about Costco diamonds. Costco is only allowed to mark things up 14%, so you’re paying a lot less of a premium for what I’ve heard is very nice quality diamonds.

          1. What does that mean, “only allowed to mark things up 14%”?

             1. It is Costco’s policy to only add 14% to the cost of their items. Sorry, I made it sound like someone was enforcing that on them. It is their own policy. They only ever make 14% profit on their sales, except on their private label stuff, which they mark up a little more. I think that is 17% or 19%, but I’m not totally sure what the exact percentage is.

             2. I’d guess from their wholesale price. But in general, Costco is great for big ticket items like that. When I graduate from my master’s program I intend to buy myself a really nice bracelet watch from there.

          2. Ooooh! Good to know!

    4. Someone else just asked about diamond studs in the comments recently and got multiple recommendations for Brilliant Earth.

    5. Mine are from Macy’s.

    6. Thanks, everyone!

    7. Brilliantly Engaged. Used to be called Engagement rings direct. They sell loads of studs or loose diamonds.

13. I’ve not had any problems with comments or comments loading but I do see that the subscription box for email comment updates has now re-appeared so I’m happy. Thanks Kat.

14. I just had a very hard time listening to someone tell me that she started her son on solids at 4 weeks by putting rice his bottle, because he seemed hungry. I mean, her kid is obviously fine, so why is a big part of my brain still going “YOU DID WHAT????”

    1. My inlaws all seem to have done this (for multiple generations). They seem to be OK.

       I wouldn’t (but supplemented liberally with formula for my first), but what is it to you?

    2. I would feel the same way. However, while babies really can’t digest solids at this age, a lot of cultural groups do this, and our own mothers/grandmothers did this back in the 50s and 60s. It’s risky and pointless, but (I think?) it’s also unlikely to cause permanent damage.

    3. Fine for you to vent here, but other peoples’ parenting styles are not your concern. I live in an area where there are a lot of anti-vaccination parents and that’s scarier by far.

       1. That’s not even in the same category. Anti-vax affects my life. Rice in the bottle is just weird parenting.

          My response in analogous situations is to ask if they’ve discussed the practice with their doctor. Like, hmmm, I’ve never heard of that, what does the pediatrician say? Trying to achieve the no judgement on my part tone of voice.

    4. Can the rice even get through the nipple without clogging it? I’m confused.

       1. You can buy nipples with various flows (newborn to, probably, grownup with a fetish). I’ve heard of just using a pin to enlarge the opening.

          The antivaxxers scare me.

          I love how parenting is a topic where a sizeable chunk of the world *knows* they are right. It’s like first year first semester law students (or teenagers).

          1. It’s because we were all raised the best way! Or the worst way, and the right way is the opposite of what our parents did. (My mother raised me the best way. Anyone who doesn’t do what she did is wrong.)

       2. You can buy rubber nipples with bigger holes, or even make the holes bigger in a regular nipple. Still a common practice with babies over 6 months, when it’s not a big deal since they’re old enough for solids.

    5. I have no dog in this fight but this entire string is making me crave rice pudding…

       1. Yum! With vanilla and cinnamon. Or with a side of vanilla wafers.

       2. Ha! I love rice pudding. I think Lena Dunham posted to instagram recently from a rice pudding shop–it looked like a bunch of different flavors served like gelato? I’d never seen anything like it. Wherever that is, I want to be there.

          1. I haven’t seen the post but there is a shop like that in NY called Rice to Riches. Amazing!!

       3. I have a packet of instant rice pudding (Germany: the land obsessed with pudding) in my kitchen. I know what I’m having after dinner tonight…

          1. I had a recipe that involved pulverizing the rice to a powder in a blender (just a small amount, really) and cooking in milk with sugar and cardamom pods for flavor. Heavenly!

             Found it! http://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/2012/12/indian-rice-pudding-with-cardamom-and.html

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