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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Anon Worker Bee
I really like the pictures of actual women wearing the dress. I wish retailers offered that more often.
Anon Worker Bee
It looks like it is available only in small, medium, and large and medium is sold out.
Agreed, this is so helpful. I love Modcloth.
Yes, it really makes a difference. I purchased a pair of closed-toe pumps with no foot model used on the website, and surprise, the manufacturer did not scale up well for larger feet and my toes were visible.
Modcloth has some surprising work-appropriate gems that are just interesting enough to not be another boring sheath dress, but anything work appropriate tends to skew Mad Men.
I would wear this, but it doesn’t come in a large enough size.
While not the exact same, eloquii has a sleeveless version of this dress in multiple colors.
Thanks! Just went over there since Modcloth only has SML.
The detailed reviews with measurements and size purchased are also immensely helpful.
Alanna of Trebond
Is it weird that those pictures always make me less likely to buy a dress? I always want to buy the dresses as featured on neiman marcus because they look so lovely. Usually regular people don’t have the perfect lighting and photography required to make the dress look amazing.
Probably a little weird. That’s why I prefer the pictures – I’d rather know how it really looks without being professionally photographed. I do a lot less returning that way.
I totally agree. Seeing how something looks on a real body (not that models don’t have real bodies, but most of us don’t look like that) in the real world helps me decide what I should actually buy.
Mod cloth models don’t have real bodies because they are usually mannequins! The lack of arms, legs that separate, and a head really limits the imagination.
Anon for this
Immediate TJ, so I basically need some objective advice on this issue/talking down. So basically my adult sibling has many emotional problems (depression, social anxiety, etc.) that impact his ability to function. He’s 25 and still working on a BA (and I think school has masked the extent of this for a long time, because he’s at a diploma mill and basically he can get away with things that would never fly in the real world like not showing up to a final and still pass the class, etc). Anyway, he was home for the summer and drank himself into a near-comatose state and was subsequently discovered by my Dad and rushed to the E.R. Then he confesses he’s an alcoholic. I’ve only seen him intermittently since that incident. I had lunch with him last week and he definitely seemed “off” like very groggy. I got a text this morning from him saying that he’s not really an alcoholic, that the ER doctor made him say that or he’d be committed. He said it was just self-medicating for extreme depression. And he was getting a “bad vibe” from me (because I’m frustrated and really distancing myself). I said I couldn’t summarize a response via text and would send an email. But frankly, I don’t know what to do. He’s just not an easy person to love. It’s easy to be supportive when the other person is making steps toward sobriety/therapy/whatever but he’s still blaming EVERYONE else for his problems (ER doctor, my mom, etc.). Any thoughts?
Sorry you’re dealing with this (and for your family, too). I know many people who have found the Al-Anon groups to be helpful (alcoholism often has co-morbidities) just as places to be among people who are in the same place and have been in the same place. Many times churches who sponsor AA (often in uptown areas that hold meetings at lunchtime for the AA people) will know of the family / friends support groups, too.
“I love you. I’m sorry to learn you’re suffering from depression, and I want to help, but I’m not sure how.”
Anon in NYC
+1. Sometimes the easiest way to support someone is to tell them that you care but that you don’t know what to do. I’d bet your brother doesn’t even know what he needs or how he can help himself (or how anyone else can help him).
I’m sorry you (and your family, and your brother) are going through this. I also think that you need to make sure you take care of yourself in this situation, and if that means distancing yourself or only being involved with your brother in small ways, that’s okay.
You just sound angry with him now, which I admit can be a natural response. But if he has poorly treated depression, anxiety and now admits alcohol abuse this guy is potentially a mess…. Him reaching out at all is a hopeful sign. I hope you find it in you heart to be merciful and try to support him.
But I know, it is not easy.
He is ill. the illness is depression/anxiety and the alcohol abuse is “just” a symptom.
Just tell him you love him… If you do?
Now is not the time to distance yourself….
First, positive internet vibes for you. Having dealt with a few similar situations, I have realized that the immense powerlessness that I felt was the thing that really was the most difficult for me. I recall sitting in a waiting room with a sibling who was in active crisis and realizing that although there was nothing I could say or do to make it better, that was all I could think about.
What has helped me the most is to learn about their diagnoses and build a strong support network for myself. I have read a number of Al-Anon books and (as a child of an alcoholic), every page I found myself going, ‘oh my god, yes. I do this.’ Learning about the different diagnoses and even educating myself as to how best to deal with someone going through different steps was really, really helpful.
I will also say that there are some diagnoses that I find more difficult to deal with than others, particularly Personality disorder. One of the hallmark traits of this is the, ‘it’s never my fault, it’s always others’ response, along with really chronic manipulation. For me, just learning and reading about the traits helped me be okay with occasionally distancing myself. Just reading about my loved ones’ diagnoeses really truly helped me be forgiving of myself and know I was not alone.
Are there any books in particular you found helpful? I’ll definitely have to research the Personality disorder thing… sounds like it might be very spot on.
Mental Health Prof
I have worked with people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for years. If the diagnosis fits, it is very difficult to cope with as a family member- as can any mental health concern. I recommend googling Borderline personality disorder and if the symptoms seem consistent with your brother’s behaviors, read “Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder” by Shari Manning, “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and “The Buddha and the Borderline” by Kiera Van Gelder. Marsha Linehan at the University of Washington is the founder of a very effective method for treating this called DBT, I recommend her website too. Good luck.
FWIW, do you mean Borderline Personality disorder? Very challenging from what I understand, and often concomitant with substance abuse problems as the individual attempts to self-medicate and resist attempts to help.
If it really is alcoholism, he won’t change until he hits rock bottom. As long as people enable him, he won’t hit rock bottom. Enabling includes not holding him accountable for his actions, letting him believe he pulled one over you like with the lie about having to tell the doctor he was an alcoholic. Tell your brother you’re ready to help him when he’s ready to be helped. Until then, you won’t enable him.
Anon for this
Exactly this. Go to an Al-Anon meeting just to get a feel for what the conversation is like. I went through this with a very close sibling who is an alcoholic. She was “groggy” just like you said on an increasingly regular basis until eventually my parents confronted her and offered to pay for her to go to rehab. She ended up in rehab for a few weeks and we had a few family counseling sessions. I also went to some Al-Anon meetings.
The best thing you can do it be honest about your feelings (“I believe you’re an alcoholic, and I it makes it very hard for me to be around you”), set very clear boundaries (“I don’t want to be around you when you’re drinking”), and stick to those boundaries. Offer words of encouragement (“I love you and I want to have a healthy relationship with you, but I’m afraid I’m losing you”) and be available when he’s sober and demonstrates he’s doing well.
Alcoholism is a very very difficult disease. It’s not a symptom of depression; it’s entirely its own issue. You may need to distance yourself if he doesn’t make positive changes, because you need to find a way to be healthy and cope with your own life.
Oh, and my sister is doing amazingly well. She has been sober for 3+ years and it’s so great. She had to find that in herself, however, and part of her getting there was us telling her that we just can’t support her decisions anymore, and that if she didn’t start taking care of herself we were going to have to start distancing ourselves from her because it was too hard to watch her hurt herself.
Anon for this – I agree with your statement that alcoholism is a very difficult disease but not that alcoholism is not a symptom of depression and is entirely its own issue. I’ve known several people who were depressed and/or anxious and used alcohol to “self-medicate” or as an ineffectual coping mechanism. If they were susceptible to alcoholism, drinking escalated and because an additional problem. Not true for all depressed people, of course, but not uncommon.
To the OP – having been through this with family members, you have my sympathy.
anon @ 11:39
I should clarify: I think people can certainly have both depression and alcoholism. I think though that if someone is an alcoholic they need to treat that as its own disease instead of just considering it just a symptom of their depression. In other words, treating the depression won’t necessarily treat the alcoholism. (Alcoholism is actually a disease that physically affects your body chemistry)
Thanks for this point. I’ll definitely use some of the phrases you suggested. One of the issues is that he refuses to do any kind of treatment (especially AA) because he’s atheist and doesn’t believe in God (knocks out most free therapy/counselling options) and my parents don’t want to pay for rehab until he’s ready to change.
Anon at 11:39
The atheist argument! We heard that one too, at first. AA is interesting, because although it talks about a higher power, it doesn’t specify a God, exactly (at least that’s my understanding). The higher power can be a symbol of many things, but mainly it’s tied up in the AA philosophy of accepting that there’s better forces beyond yourself and your addiction that you need to give yourself over to. I think it definitely depends on the meeting and area the person is in, but although AA is very spiritual, it doesn’t have to be religious.
That said, if he can’t go to rehab and won’t voluntarily go to AA, there’s really nothing you can do at this point. You can’t make him change. Keep telling yourself that. Tell your parents that. All you can do is set very clear boundaries and hold him accountable for his actions. I really really recommend you talk to a counselor trained in these issues, or go to an Al-Anon meeting. As selfish as this sounds, it was a very useful tool for me in dealing with my own personal worries and guilt because it allowed me to create some distance between myself and my sister. I was angry with my sister, guilty for feeling like I didn’t want to be around her or help her, and worried for her safety. Talking to someone didn’t make the worry go away, but it definitely helped with the anger and guilt. I learned that I can’t put myself in a position where I feel taken advantage of emotionally, and that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not enabling her behavior. Did I continue to worry about her? Hell yes. But it’s much easier to deal with that emotion when it’s not tied up with the other two.
Way to be completely dismissive of a legitimate concern.
Anon at 11:39
I have found Al Anon very helpful. It’s for friends and family members of alcoholics. I was a little skeeved out at first (why do I have to go to meetings when HE is the one with the problem) and I’m agnostic so not into the whole God thing, but I gotta say, it’s been great to meet other people in similar situations, and I’ve found myself much calmer and happier than I was when I first went. I highly recommend it.
This was in reply to Anon for this.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sounds like a tough situation. Tell him you love him and you’re there for him. Be honest and say you don’t know how to help him and that he has you really worried. That’s it. There’s really not a lot you can do. If you say more, he’ll only resent you and start blaming you.
Thank you for your thoughts. That’s excellent phrasing.
You clean up your messes
We have a client who is making us give his kid (college age?) a summer job. I do not want that to be me in 15 years or for my kids to be that kid.
I had been debating starting some sort of “general family participation and helpfulness” based allowance for my 5.5 and 4 year old and I think I’m going to start it when I get home (@ $1 per age per week). And part of “general family participation and helpfulness” will include bed-making and cleaning up after yourself, as well as performance of household helping upon request.
I know we talked about chosing b/w activity time and having a clean house yesterday and I agree in the baby/toddler years (when they sleep a lot more). Now that they are both past napping, I think that they can see how they can contribute to our collective well-being and we can still have fun. Also: no magic cleaning fairy comes — things you like take time and effort. Plus, there is no mamma happier than one whose children will help her.
Wish me luck (in the long run, at any rate)!
Why is bed making such an issue? This successful grown up fought that battle for 15 years with her mom. And now? I just don’t make the bed unless company is coming. Why bother?
I’m 100% for helpful children I just really don’t get the bed making thing.
For me (and for other people), a “made” bed is essential to feeling like the bedroom is a relaxing, inviting space. I fully recognize that other people don’t need this at all (my SO included). My mom makes her bed every day, his mom doesn’t, and we both great up accordingly. However, he recognizes that a “made” bed is important to me and so he’ll make it if he’s the last one up in the mornings :)
My kids will also make their beds when old enough. I get that it isn’t an essential component of a happy life, but it is something that takes less than 1 minute and is important to me.
Agreed. My husband couldn’t care less if our bed is made each day. But for me, even if the room is covered in clutter and the house is a mess, a made bed is like an oasis of calm. I can think “at least I made the bed today!”
I do it while I brush my teeth each morning. Takes about 30 seconds. Totally worth the mental sanity.
Just when I was coming around on the bed making thing . . . Brushing your teeth is important!! If you’re multitasking you’re not doing a good job.
My fiancé refuses to make the bed now for the same reason. I get up and leave the house first so it is never made. Sometimes I do it on the weekends now because I like how nice it feels to climb into. It’s an easy chore to have kids do though so until they are old enough to do dishes or take out the trash, I think it makes sense. Along with picking up their toys.
Anon for this
+3 – I hate how cluttered my room feels if my bed isn’t made. Plus it feels so nice to get into a made bed at the end of the night!
Why is this not on the mom blog? It has no relevance to the dress or everyone else who can offer you nothing.
People ask all kinds of questions in the comments, and every question doesn’t/can’t apply to everyone. There are moms who visit both sites. Just don’t read this thread of the comments.
I’m with the first anon. There isn’t even a question posed here just a neat story about how you want your kids to make their beds. ZZZZZ WHO CARES
Ugh, enough already. Go somewhere else. This blog is whatever we want it to be and these questions have been part of this space longer than you probably have. Stop policing people’s posts and either move on or keep it to yourself. I’m so sick of the mom police around here.
+1 The most annoying comments are absolutely the ones from the mom police. I enjoy the parenting comments and don’t even have kids. Get over yourself!
+1 – no kids and I enjoy the parenting comments and discussions. If I’m not in the mood, I just scroll on.
Agreed! No kids, but I still sample once in a while.
No kids, but love this community
+1. I don’t have kids, but neither do I have have a small waist and a need for a tailor, an annoying brother/sister, a promotion coming up, a summer associate, a need for a realtor recommendation, a worthwhile budgeting system, advice on Toronto or Paris or cafes in New York. I do have an opportunity to move roles in my company, a smidge of infertility coupled with a recent miscarriage, a cuckoo mother, and thighs that rub when I walk despite my otherwise sorta-slender figure. We are women supporting each other and having a conversation about life. I dig that so much.
26 year old single childless attorney here. I seriously don’t know if I can handle another person being a pr*ck about the Mom blog. If someone can ask for advice about their trip to Austin, TX (I’ve never been! Its not about the dress! I can’t answer her question!) WHY can’t they ask about children? From what I’ve heard and seen, posting on the other board is the equivalent of talking to a black hole.
Ditto on Batgirl and another mom. Are there really no other topics discussed here that don’t interest you? I personally can’t believe that there are people who run when there’s nothing chasing them, much less specifically make plans and purchase items to help them do it. So you know what I do when there’s a discussion about running? I scroll on by. It’s not that hard.
So I am a runner and as part of my training plan, I have a 15 mile run on Sunday. One technique I use is to ‘dedicate’ each mile to a specific person/thing/item of food/thought.
I am definitely going to dedicate a mile to ‘people who run when there’s nothing chasing them’. I acknowledge how bizarre it is that I wake up an hour or two early to go sweat my butt off to run in a big circle and your description has really made me smile. Thanks for the motivation!
Dedicating each mile “to a specific person/thing/item of food/thought” <– thank you for this, Clementine! I'm going to use this on my multi-mile runs. Structure helps :)
This made me smile! In high school I used to tell my friends who were in track that running was not a sport, it was something I did when being chased. Now I run for enjoyment (albeit not far or fast) and sometimes it still amazes me how much I used to hate running.
I figure everyone on here was a child once and the vast majority have historical experience with family chores, if not allowance. It’s nice to get multiple points of view
FWIW, I’m not a mom and I ventured over to the mom page on Monday and it was delightful. It seems to be improving from the initial issues.
I think if we just ignored these comments instead of responding then they would go away. Otherwise we have the same debate over and over. Meaning – don’t feed the trolls not don’t post about moms/running/travel.
No kids, but love this community
I partially agree, but I also think that when those comments are up and no one objects, it contributes to a hostile environment here and alienates women asking questions about children.
Anon Worker Bee
Kat actually posted about this exact issue on the Moms s!te a few days ago. Apparently she has deleted similar comments like this from th!ss!te….
I hate the kid posts as much as anybody, but I hate snarky topic police even more. We have scrolling for a reason. Just look for the next pink bar!
That’s nice to do an allowance system, but I don’t think you have to. My parents had chores/expectations that were “just because you are part of this family” such as cleaning up our toys, setting the table for dinner, clearing your plate after dinner, etc. I started chores when I was younger, but didn’t get allowance until high school.
+2 Kids shouldn’t be paid for chores.
+3 I can’t imagine being paid for “you’re part of the family and you need to pull your weight” type chores. I did get paid for bigger projects and babysitting in high school, and occasionally my parents gave me some walking around money when appropriate.
As a kid who really sucked at noticing when I was making a mess (I’m not great as an adult, although better), I’d find “pick up after yourself” to be a maddening chore because I even know where to start. I did much better with a five or ten minute tidy up at the end of the day, where we all participated and it got done fairly quickly.
At that age, I made my bed, tidied up toys, set the table, had to ask permission to be excused from the table, cleared my plate, wiped down the tabletop, cleaned my room, and did whatever my parents asked me to.
This is what we do. Our boys have chores because a family takes work, and they need to help because they are part of the family. I don’t get paid for cleaning the bathroom, or doing the laundry, etc, and I don’t want them to expect payment for every little thing they do around the house. I have paid for unusual/extra things that I needed help with, but not the daily or weekly expected tasks.
They also receive an allowance unrelated to their chores (double their age monthly) because I want them to learn the value of a dollar and give them something they can use to save for things they want.
It’s a system that works really well for us.
Out of Place Engineer
This is our philosophy on chores/allowance, too! We are little generous on the allowance, but force a portion of that money into a bank savings account so that they learn about saving up for larger things. And it helps reinforce that the ATM doesn’t just magically give out money. We need to feed the account, too!
Anon in NYC
I think this is a good idea. There are certain things that should be expected of kids as a family member that should be separate from an allowance.
I think you are starting a bad precedent by paying them for things that they should be doing as basic contributors to the family.
I also think that is way too much to be paying kids per week…. Who don’t even truly understand the concept of $.
I’m also curious to hear other’s thoughts.
You clean up your messes
This is my thinking: the pushing of helpfulness coincides with the allowance, but they are only loosely tied. They are to the point of if they want a toy or an impulse buy somewhere (fancy sprinkles at the grocery store or some candy), they can buy that with their money. So I think that $5 could take care of a few snacks and get them used to handling money.
A few pitfalls to watch out for: First, some kids don’t care about money and would rather slack off the chores than work for cash. You want them to do the chores, regardless. Second, you need to control a little kid who wants to buy candy with “his own money”. If it’s an hour before dinner and you don’t want them to have candy, it doesn’t matter if it’s his own money, you still need to be prepared to veto. Some kids will push back because it’s their “own money”.
Nonsense. That defeats the point of them having their own money. Candy before dinner every now and then won’t kill them, it will give them a taste of freedom and control. Just don’t give them enough money that they are buying bucket loads of candy, or use a sticker system where a certain number of stickers are redeemable for a book or toy.
Of course it defeats the purpose of giving them their own money, but they’re 5 and 4. They don’t have good judgment. Candy before dinner is one thing, and parents can decide if they want to make a fuss about it, but what if a young teen boy wanted to buy explicit magazines or cigarettes with his own money? Shouldn’t the parent get to veto??
5 and 4 are really little. True, they probably don’t get much opportunity to spend money anyway, so not much harm can come from it. But just because a kid has money doesn’t mean the parents have to let them do whatever they want with it.
Reposting because of moderation:
Of course it defeats the purpose of giving them their own money, but they’re 5 and 4. They don’t have good judgment. Candy before dinner is one thing, and parents can decide if they want to make a fuss about it, but what if a young teen boy wanted to buy explicit magazines or cigar3ttes with his own money? Shouldn’t the parent get to veto??
5 and 4 are really little. True, they probably don’t get much opportunity to spend money anyway, so not much harm can come from it. But just because a kid has money doesn’t mean the parents have to let them do whatever they want with it.
Give me a break. Letting a 5 year old buy candy is not remotely a commitment to giving a kid money for porn and drugs.
So candy is the gateway to porn/cigar*ttes? Good to know.
I got an allowance to teach me budgeting, saving, etc, but it wasn’t tied to chores. I made my bed, helped with the dishes, and dusted the entire house because it was expected of me to clean the house I lived in, not because I was paid for it.
I’m not sure how much is a reasonable allowance these days – I’d say calculate it based on how much you think they should be able to buy with it. A candy bar a week? A movie ticket? A cheap toy or comic book? Etc.
Ooops! Hit report instead of reply! Sorry.
I started receiving an allowance in middle school that was not tied to chores. It was so I could learn the value of budgeting and saving.
When I was younger, it was a very small amount of money per week that I used toward fun snacks at school and movie theater tickets. Once I started driving, my parents gave me substantially more money and it was my responsibility to budget for gas, clothes shopping and social activities.
This. I was expected to do chores because I was part of the family and we all contributed, but I got an allowance independent of that. I was expected to save for things I wanted (and donate a little bit to a cause I picked out), and I think that’s a good lesson to learn as young as possible. There were extra jobs that were worth a certain amount, but that was bigger, one-time kind of stuff like cleaning the garage. Cleaning a bathroom, helping with dinner dishes or whatever was just an expectation. I plan on doing the same thing once my kids are old enough to help (I can’t wait).
I think Suze Orman advocates a similar system… I read one of her books or her website that had advice on how to teach kids of different ages about money, and I remember thinking it was very sensible.
+1 for not tying the allowance to chores
There is research that shows that people who are paid or rewarded to do things — homework, housework, musical practice, art, pretty much anything, whether it is intrinsically enjoyable or not — end up not liking or valuing those “things” as much as people who do them for their own sake (for the sake of having a clean room, or the joy of playing music, or whatever). So tread carefully here.
I am firmly on Team We Do Chores Because We Are Part of the Family, and We Have Allowances Because We Need to Learn How to Handle Money.
Just the fact that you raise your kids to be helpful and self-sufficient does not mean that they might not need help finding a summer job in 15 years. And just the fact that you raise your kids to be motivated and self-sufficient doesn’t mean that they will be. They probably will be, but no guarantees.
As a child of immigrant parents, I actually really hope some day I’m in a position to pull strings for my kid. That’s how so many people get these jobs. I want them to work hard and try hard and do well in school, but if I’m an important enough client to get them an opportunity hells yeah I’m doing it.
100 percent agree with this, as a fellow child of immigrant parents.
I agree with the sentiment a little, even though in general I resent nepotism and string-pulling. My teenage stepson isn’t working this summer despite applying broadly to all sorts of camps, parks, fast-food joints, office jobs, internships, etc. I know lots of people who just took their kids on in their office, or a client’s office, or their golf club or something, and we don’t have that option at our jobs or any pull elsewhere. I wish we could have helped.
True story: A partner at my former law firm paid her teenager one summer to organize her shoes closet. Complete with shelving, and Polaroids of each pair. I would love to know how he billed that on his colleges apps (he’s at Harvard now) or on his resume!
As a caveat, we have a rotating door of “friends/family of executives” interns (so many, we have an acronym we use) – most are duds and we tell stories about their missteps for years. Don’t let your kids be that person.
I agree 100%. I would only pull strings for my kids if I were sure they were up to the task. I wouldn’t want it to reflect on me, or my friends, if my kid did a bad job. But I guess not everyone feels that way.
You clean up your messes
What is the acronym?
“FO__” – insert name of executive in blank. “Friend of”.
You clean up your messes
Thanks for all of the feedback.
I am mentally relating the help/$ thing. The $ is so that they can have some of “their” money so they can start saving for what they want (versus just asking for me to buy them extras). Bedmaking is because it is something they can easily do (as is helping to strip the bed and put sheets on it when we do laundry). And I am on the “oasis of calm” team re this.
But I speak here on the job thing. The client made us hire kis kid. I think because the kid is not otherwise employable and has an overwhelming sense of entitlement. He couldn’t get a job on his own and now we have to take him. And he would only tolerate working somewhere with A/C that wouldn’t cut into his leisure time. And we can’t really give any constructive feedback (were he inclined to receive it) because it will get back to the client.
Ignore this. I was stuck in moderation. Trying again.
This might be an odd suggestion, but Dave Ramsey talks about this idea a lot. He calls it a commission system. He recently wrote a book about money issues with kids and I think he has some info about the commission system on his s te. I’m not sure how much religious stuff he includes on the topic (in case that bothers you) but if it is similar to his other stuff I’ve heard and read it is pretty easy to skip over.
Perhaps I’m missing something, but how could a client, who doesn’t actually work at your company, MAKE you hire someone?
If you want to keep the client happy and keep the client’s business, you feel obligated to hire the kid if he/she asks.
This is what I do. My son is 14. He started getting allowance at 10. He had chores before that, too, but lets be real, it isn’t like the stuff a 5 year old is doing is going to actually help you in any way. When they are that little, you can’t really ‘teach them the value of money’…they can’t understand it yet. The ATM is a magic machine that spits out money when you put a card in. The cards can buy anything in the world. Etc etc. They ARE NOT CAPABLE of comprehending what you are trying to teach them. They can learn that they have one dollar, and the things in the store all have prices on them and if you have one dollar, you only have enough money to buy things that are less than one dollar. That’s about it.
Anyway, my son gets an allowance. The allowance is not tied to chores. He has chores he has to do. Lots of them. He does his own laundry, he loads and unloads the dishwasher, he cleans his own bathroom, he vacuums. He mows the lawn and takes out the trash. My husband and I work full time, he’s on his tush at home, he gets to contribute.
His allowance can be taken away for the week if he doesn’t behave well. He almost never loses it in the summer, but you lose it in the school year if you miss any assignments. This was enacted because my (very smart) child is a slacker, and he would just ‘forget’ to turn things in. Well, you forget, you lose allowance, because your job is school.And you still have to do all your chores. Amazingly, (SARCASM, I wasn’t amazed) once we instituted this policy, he’s gotten 4.0 every trimester.
I give my kids an allowance for several reasons:
1) Great answer for me to say when they want something and it’s not their birthday or another gift giving occasion: No, I am not buying you that. You can save up your own money to buy that. They don’t even ask any more. I started around age 5.
2) I’d rather they make money mistakes now than later. When we started with the allowance, my son saved every penny for YEARS and also saved every gift card or cash gift he’d ever been given. He wanted a laptop and had saved enough to buy half of it (the allowance is kind of small) and I paid for the second half. It was great to see him see the value of long term saving. My daughter on the other hand for the first two or three years spent her allowance the second she got it, at whichever dumb store (gas station!) we went to right after she got her money. After a while she realized she was never going to get anything good that way — because I wouldn’t buy her other toys when she wanted them– and now she saves a lot better.
3)In order to get more helpful work around the house, I’v started offering extra money for extra work, which they can do if they’ve done their required stuff. This ends up helping me because I don’t have to do the chores, and I think will eventually teach them that if you want more money you need to work more. Daughter is letting son do all the extra work and get all the extra money but eventually if she wants to get something that she doesn’t have the money for she will need to do extra chores too. It also feels more fair because before I would just ask them to help me and Son would help a lot and Daughter would slack a bit.
We’ve hired colleague’s kids and such for summer internships and they’ve actually almost all been great — hard workers, good kids — but they’ve been college kids and also we interview/select them so its not like we take the kids without a resume/letter/interview and chat about expectations.
I had a summer internship in college that was funded through my school and living with a relative for free. Another intern worked, scrimped and saved in order to work at an unpaid internship. She was livid to find out that a couple of high school students also had the opportunity. One was the child of the cardiologist who operated on the head of the non-profit, and the other was his friend, so he wouldn’t be lonely.
You clean up your messes
+1000 to that last sentence
This is where we are. We just made our staff (our real staff) take pay cuts. The client’s kid isn’t treating them well.
This is unfortunate, but if it’s an important client it’s a business decision whether or not to employ his kid. If a staff is taking pay cuts, do they resent that big clients still get taken out to nice dinners? Employing a kid is like buying a very big, very expensive dinner for the client.
My dad pulled a string so I could work for his company one summer (I was too young by about 33 days for the application cut off but still old enough by the time it started, if that makes sense) and although I felt very guilty about it I had the most fantastic experience. The next summer I worked in fast food, and this summer I have an internship which I got myself despite spending last academic year fighting my physical and mental health. That job which a string was pulled for has helped me to to numerous things since.
Good luck! But the dig at the client’s kid was unnecessary. Lots of parents use their connections to get their kids a summer job, especially a first summer job. And having to employ a client’s kid for a summer is very normal and I’ve always found these kids to be great interns and help for the few weeks they are employed. While I got an allowance growing up it was more so I could learn to successfully manage and budget my money. Helping out around the house / doing chores was a given.
I don’t want to comment in the client’s son. Maybe he is interested in a job in your field and would like to get experience rather than working at an ice cream shop or something similar.
I do think it is a great idea to start imposing chores on your kids. I need to do that with my own. My problem is that I am such a neat freak that if someone does not do the cleaning to my standards, I will just end up doing it myself anyway. Baby steps…right?
I’m the Anon who’s SO only makes the bed because it is important to me.
Does he make it perfectly, to my standards? Nope. Pillows aren’t straightened as much as I’d straighten them, the sheet isn’t folded down the way I would fold it, etc. But it is enough :) my “deal” with myself is that if he is making a geniune effort to do something that he is ONLY doing because it is important to me, then I don’t get to nit-pick. Not if I ever want him to do anything for me ever again, at least :)
Off topic, but I think your second paragraph is so important. I’ve said it before, but it drives me crazy that my husband seemingly is incapable of shutting the kitchen cabinets when he empties the dishwasher. Drives me crazy. But I’ve decided to stop saying anything (and passive-aggressively slamming the cabinets shut) and focus on the fact that my husband knows I hate emptying the dishwasher and is doing it for me.
+1. I hate how he loads the dishwasher, but if he loads it that means I don’t have to!
In the Pink
Since your kidlets are young, why not do a sticker chart. Then at the end of each week, they can redeem for items and better yet … social privileges. Special time with a parent, getting to choose the dinner or desert one night. Special bubble bath. X many stickers = X many more minutes in screen time.
You can always have a list of small stuff (stick of gum, whatever) = 1 sticker for those times the kidlets want “something” and don’t want to save up for something bigger.
Social rewards are better IMHO than cash, especially at this young age.
There’s also the issue of “what will you pay me to do this chore?” So some chores/responsibilities should be unpaid. We all contribute to the running the household. Gee, if someone would pay me to clean my oven or tub, I’d be ecstatic. As it is, we all have unpaid chores…good thing to get kids to understand that. The payoff for unpaid chores is making the household work and inner satisfaction in the long run perhaps.
I also encourage rotating household chores so everyone learns how to do them. Young adults who can’t clean a toilet, iron a shirt, cook, how are they prepared for adulthood? And there’s the pattern of bounce-backs, so you want them to be competent in chores. It’s really expensive to hire-out chores and with salaries and student loans and rent, sometimes chores just gotta be done without hiring out.
Of course, YMMV and your philosophies as well.
This is a great idea. I can remember when I was in second grade, we had something that was the oppos!te. Each week the teacher gave us a sheet of 5 items – maybe 5 apples, 5 pumpkins around Halloween, etc. If you did something bad, you had to deposit an apple in the box at the front of the room. If you had 5 left at the end of the week, you got a small “prize.” Simple reward systems like this really seemed to work well for kids.
Kid biz gal
In the biz of knowing and growing kids as a career, I just want to add, that it is better to give stars, tickets, whatever than to take them away or have them debited.
After a while, the child just “gives up on the system” because s/he keeps losing.
It’s all perspective,but we’re talking kids… Positive over negative.
It’s similar for grounding a middle school or teenager. When they have lost all privileges and fun, they can act as bad and mean as they want/can because…they have nothing left to lose.
That’s not pretty.
we do this and it has worked GREAT! Its called a “good deed chart” and they get a start sticker every time they do something helpful without throwing a fit — setting the table, helping with dinner, sweeping the floor, folding their laundry, etc. Then, when they get a certain number, they get to pick something out of the “prize bag.”
Now, after doing it for a few months, the kids are used to it and they try to find things to do around the house to help with. Sure, they are trying to earn stickers, but they are learning good habits.
You make your kids earn time with you? A stick of gum or picking out dinner I can see, but time with parents should not be tied to performance.
But if they do helpful things around the house it frees up your time from doing it. My parents, when I was older, would point out if I wanted something from them (like a ride to the movies) they’d have time if I did something for them (like wash the car).
Yeah, agree with Wildkitten. It’s not like they’re being punished for not doing things, they’re being rewarded with bonus time if they do. There is only so much time in a day. If the kids help do the dishes, it means Mom can spend that extra time on a puzzle with them instead of scrubbing it all herself. Thinking of it this way as a kid actually made me see chores less as “ooh what reward for just ME does the big chart say I’ll get if I do this” and more as “how can I help someone I love (and of course it makes me feel good too).” I don’t see how that’s punishment.
Ugh. I’ve had to deal with nepotism hires. Not fun.
I want my kids to learn to do their part without expecting anything, but also learn the value of money by earning, saving and spending allowance. My solution is to pay allowance for chores they do for the whole family – emptying the dishwasher, emptying wastebaskets, etc., but they are expected to to clean up after themselves without any reward.
I’m also on team Unmade Bed. I do it when company comes and my kids have said “What are you doing????”
I have three kids–ages 13, 5 and 3.
The 13 year old is expected to do her own laundry, clean the bathroom she shares with her siblings once a week, unload the dishwasher daily, and feed the dog every morning. She also has to clean her room whenever it gets to be too messy (she is generally fairly neat, so this isn’t too big of an issue.) As a result, we pay for her cell phone service. If she wants to earn extra money for something she can. Recently, she wanted $20 to buy something, so she spent two hours helping me in the backyard (pull weeds, bag up leaves, clean up the dog’s area, etc.)
The five year old had to clean his room, though we help him with this, do his own laundry with supervision (he will take his basket to the laundry room, load the washer, we help him add soap, he starts it, and when it is done he switches it over and we help him start the dryer.) He also has to fold and put away his laundry, though we help him do this as well. He also has to wipe down the table everyday before dinner, and help in the nightly 15 minutes of picking up the living room we do. He also folds all the towels, though I usually put them away after he folds. He actually likes to help clean and so he will often help his sister clean the bathroom, will help mop the kitchen, likes to help in the yard, etc. He doesn’t get a specific allowance, but he recently inherited a hand-me-down iPod and so if he has done well during the week (we have a sticker chart) he can buy a new song for his iPod. (He is so sweet and will pick something he knows his sisters will like too.)
The 3 year old has to put her dirty clothes in her basket, help clean her room, help with the nightly picking up, and sets silverwear on the table at dinner. She has recently started helping with laundry–both loading the washer and dryer and folding the clothes. I help her with the folding and then hand her sorted stacks to put in her drawers. She is motivated enough by the sticker chart right now and doesn’t really get any reward beyond that for now.
I don’t require bed making, though all three kids typically will make their beds (not daily, but a few days out of the week.)
I tried to institute a whole set of chores/allowance system a few months ago for my son, who is now 5.5. It didn’t really work for us. He didn’t seem to be that motivated by money, and I couldn’t really think of reasons for him to have money (to buy more toys? more candy? ugh). The rewards I created weren’t terribly motivating. So we have a token system – he gets a token for doing a “something” (clearing his dishes was one example), and after a few weeks, he just clears his dishes and I think up a new “something”. I haven’t really figured out what to do with the tokens yet. He traded thirty in for a toy once.
Hi, my kids are 13, 11 and 10. They make their own beds each morning, take turns emptying the dishwasher and taking out the trash, out their own laundry away and each weekend they dust their own desks/shelves in their rooms. They get $1 a week as allowance. We started with small chores at about age 6 and have gradually added. We don’t have any cleaning help and both my husband and I work full time. There are some grumbles from time to time but everyone pitches in to help. We just started doing it like it was an expectation of growing up, no one seemed to think it was out of the ordinary and it mostly works. Might not work for everyone but it has for us.
I don’t have kids but when I was younger my sister and I had a (small, about $5) allowance tied to doing our chores. This did not include daily things like making our beds and keeping our rooms neat. The chore allowance was for the heavier cleaning on Saturday mornings, like washing the baseboards, dusting, etc. But, my parents had two twists. First, when they gave us our allowance it was always broken up into separate bills/coins and they made us divide it into three piles off the bat: (1) 10% into the tithing pile (my parents are very religious Evangelicals); (2) 10% minimum into the saving pile; and then (3) the remainder, which we could actually spend. The other thing they did was keep a tally during the week where you could lose some of your allowance for misbehaving. For example, every time I had a smart mouth my mom would make a tally mark (equivalent to a quarter, 50 cents, etc depending on the severity of the rudeness/offense) which would decrease what I earned after completing my Satuday chores. Sadly, because I was a bit of a brat, sometimes I OWED money after doing all my chores on Saturday morning and had tally marks carried over to the next weekend. :-/ But even being on the losing end of that system sometimes I still appreciate it now! Especially the early instruction on saving and charitable giving.
Hi all, I would love some advice, especially from those of you with family court experience.
My ex-boyfriend has shared custody of his 4 year old daughter with his ex-wife. He’s a great dad and the daughter is everything to him. Ex-wife is a fairly difficult and extremely selfish person but they have managed to co-parent well and keep a stable environment for the daughter. Now ex-wife has decided to move out of the town they both live in (where daughter grew up) to move in with a guy she met online 6 months ago in a town halfway across the country. She’s planning to take the daughter, despite the parenting plan.
So, they’ve gone to mediation, no success, so now they are going to court. And I found out this week that despite not being involved at all, I have been drawn into this. Ex-wife is trying to make a case that ex-bf is a terrible person and a terrible father. She has made allegations that he has intimidated and threatened me, and that I’m afraid of him. Couldn’t be farther from the truth – I love him dearly and I think he’s the most amazing father. We’ve managed to stay friends despite the break-up (I ended the relationship – I love him but I’m not in love with him, and it ended amicably even though we were both sad about it.) I’ve stayed involved in his life, hanging out with him and his wonderful daughter on occasion and my parents love him and thinks he’s the most wonderful parent ever (and of course they’re wondering what is wrong with me for breaking up with him!).
So, I will likely have to either testify or write a letter to the court. I have no idea how this works. I will do all I can to help him, but I’m also concerned about being dragged into this. Am I going to have to answer a lot of questions about our relationship in court and those will become public record (searchable under my name)? I’m a very private person and I am really uncomfortable with this idea. The discovery requests give an idea of the level of intrusiveness – we have to outline every time I’ve been around his daughter, for example.
Any advice? Recommendations?
Others will be undoubtedly be more helpful, but my understanding is that these kind of family court proceedings – like matrimonial actions – are sealed and non-pubic. So that should put you at ease somewhat. Not to say that what you say can’t ever come out but unless you’re going to be doing something very high profile (running for president?), I can’t imagine anyone would go through all that effort.
I would speak to his lawyer about what they need from you before going any further. Maybe you can avoid having to testify by supplying an affidavit. Although if the ex wife is determined to drag you in and you want to be able to discredit her allegations, getting involved may be inevitable.
I don’t know the rules for your particular jurisdiction. In my area, the transcript would not be available unless used by the parties in appealing to a higher court. It is also generally the practice to identify witnesses in family court matters by initials only if the judge does a written decision.
In terms of actually testifying – don’t over think it too much. Listen closely to the questions before you answer. Ask for clarification if you’re not sure what they are asking. Answer as honestly as you can. Focus on what you have actually seen occur between your ex-BF and his daughter – not what he told you that mom or daughter said.
Try to support your ex-BF without attacking the mom – e.g. I would not volunteer the opinion that she’s “extremely selfish” but if you’re asked “Is mom extremely selfish?” of course you should answer with your honest opinion.
Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and I already have this dress, Kat, and I can VOOCH that it look’s fabuleous on me!
As for the OP, Hug’s, but you should NOT be wasteing to much time on a guy who is NOT goeing to go anywhere with you for the long-term. I have GIVEN UP bieng FLORENCE NIGHTINGHALE, trying to fix all of the probelm’s they have. You have YOUR OWN Life to Live–NOT to fix every schlub that you’ve ever had sex with. I would say to him I am sorry for what you are goieng thru with your ex wife, but I am goieng to step back, and OUT of the picture b/c I have my own life to live. FOOEY!
Myrna is driveing us back today, and Charlie agreed to call me (he lives in Brooklyn) when he start’s school. Even tho he proababley onley wants to have sex with me, he gave me the sunburn stuff and was nice. I will NOT just have sex with him tho. Have a great weekend everyone and I will check in next week. The manageing partner’s brother is goeing to be a problem so I will likeley need the help of the HIVE to get rid of him. DOUBEL FOOEY!
Ellen gives great advice.
She speaks the truth with some astounding regularity.
I love Ellen.
Good advice from the others, but I’d also point out that it’s very possible that she’s just blowing smoke. She can’t just say that he’s made threats – she has to have someone willing to testify that they’ve personally witnessed this. That seems unlikely. But it’s something to discuss with his attorney. Letters to court are usually not admissible, and affidavits only sometimes, so if there’s an actual allegation, you will probably have to testify, but your clear testimony will go a long way. Think back through if there are any times where someone could allege a problem (have you ever had a loud fight that others might have overheard, had any police contact, etc.), and if there is, be extremely honest with his attorney about them, so that you have a plan of action. But if there’s nothing like that, it’s probably nothing. Family law is a lot more huffing and puffing than real evidence in a lot of cases.
Good luck. Family law is horrible and everyone will leave feeling like they got scr3wed, but that’s just the way it is.
Don’t rely on his attorney. Consult one on your own.
Why would she need to retain her own attorney if she is just a witness in the case and not a party? She doesn’t need anyone to represent her interests, she has no vested interest in the outcome of the case. My litigation practice would become an unmitigated mess if every witness I ever used in a case required ILA.
A few things:
As mentioned above, an affidavit may suffice, ask his lawyer. However, given the nature of her allegations, if you really want to help him and her characterization of him as violent or scary in your relationship with him is really off base, your live testimony would be MUCH more helpful to him. His attorney, if he’s any good, should be able to object if the other side’s cross of you gets too far outside the scope into irrelevant (overly personal) territory. The questions can and should be limited to things that would be relevant to his ability to care for his daughter. Having your parents testify or write affidavits on his behalf wouldn’t hurt, either, frankly.
As Anon above said, try to be neutral and stick to what YOU saw and what YOU experienced. Not what anyone (including BF ) told you. Try to be neutral re: mom, as well, unless asked a direct question and then make sure you can back anything negative up.
Most importantly, and I say this because you say “we” have to respond to the discovery request…it sounds like you are no longer with BF. You are NOT A PARTY to this case. Unless you have gotten a subpoena duces tecum (telling you to bring documents with you), YOU don’t have to do a list or chart of anything, HE does. Discovery requests are for parties. The only power to demand a non-party do anything is through subpoenas. So unless you got a subpoena for an outline of all the times you were around daughter, that discovery request is for him. Avoid turning this into YOUR case. It’s not. It’s really hard, but don’t get dragged in beyond that you will honestly answer any questions asked.
You’ve gotten good advice. I would just add that writing a letter to the court is out of the question. It would be considered an improper ex parte communication. The judge wouldn’t read it and it would make you (and by extension, your ex’s side of the case) look bad.
And also, if he doesn’t have a lawyer, he should do everything in his power to get a good one. Ask around, find out who is well-regarded in town, and mortgage everything he has to in order to get good representation. This is not something he should be taking on by himself.
I think family court stuff is usually sealed and not public?
Thank you guys, this has been hugely helpful. And now my concerns about having every detail of our relationship exposed and available to the public have been somewhat alleviated. He has a lawyer and I won’t do anything until I’ve spoken to that lawyer and heard what he thinks. To add more context about ex-wife – she has in the past (when they first worked out the parenting plan years ago) made up some very very horrible accusations (alleging s-xual abuse by ex-bf of daughter) but she has backpedaled and admitted those were not true. All parties decided that in the interest of the girl’s welfare it was best to move on and not hold a grudge about this (and they were able to co-parent very well for several years until ex-wife now wants to move), but I know ex-bf was deeply hurt. So it’s not beyond her to make stuff up, but I’m trying to remain very calm, and staying out of it as much as possible. Good advice above to just stick to the facts – I will withhold my opinions.
BY ALL MEANS do not do ANYTHING AT ALL without not only the agreement, but the direction, of his lawyer. He should be running this show and the last thing he needs is third parties getting all upset and injecting themselves into the case.
The lawyer should be drafting whatever declarations or affidavits get filed over your signature with the court. Your input, for sure, to make sure they are accurate, but the lawyer should have the final say on the content.
There is a very high risk that you will mess things up if you go filing things with the court on your own. Trust me on this. Take a lot of deep breaths and simmer down.
Yup, I won’t do anything without being told to do so by his lawyer. Ex-bf called me yesterday to tell me the latest (how I’ve been implicated in this) and asked me what I’d be willing to do in terms of testifying. I told him to speak with his lawyer and if his lawyer thinks I’m needed, I’ll need to sit down with the lawyer. It’s such an icky situation.
Hi ladies. Over the past few months I’ve asked for suggestions for a week-long Europe trip with my bf. Due to time/money constraints we decided to nix Greece/Istanbul (I reallyyy wanted to do that trip, maybe another time…) but we just booked our tickets to Vienna/Prague. We have 3 nights in Vienna and 4 nights in Prague. We would like to do a full day in Cesky Krumlov. Any other must-sees in either city, restaurants (I’m vegetarian, he’s not) or general advice? Thanks!
Also, I’ve traveled in Europe many times but if you have any fabulous items of clothing you found to be useful/indispensable in that part of the world in mid-September, I’m all ears!
Definitely do the Opera in Vienna (Austrians love Opera) – www (dot)wiener-staatsoper(dot)at/Content.Node/home/tickets/Allgemein.en.php
For food – try google. I actually had great luck finding vegan places in Rome via google – I was surprised what great results I got. I don’t know why I thought it would be a problem – obviously Europe has vegans/vegetarians as well and v/v tourists write restaurant reviews just like omnivores.
Vegetarianism is fairly common in Austria (I’ve been a few times though only to vienna once) – most restaurants will have a pasta dish that will be suitable if you don’t want to go to a specifically vegetarian restaurant. Pescaterians also are considered to be vegetarians in Austria so many veggie restaurants would have fish options for your DH.
Is going to the opera a fancy thing in Austria? as in, if we went to a fancy dinner, got dressed up and went to the opera, would we stick out as tourists? I’m not a huge opera fan but if it’s really a must-see…
also do you have any other music recommendations? my bf is into classical music so I think it’d be lovely to see a concert, but ideally nothing more than 1-2 hours since our time is limited. Looks like there are reasonably priced tickets to see The Four Seasons in the St Stephens Cathedral- has anyone done something like that?
I did not see The Four Seasons but we did go to a special mass at St Stephens Cathedral while I was living in Vienna that was based on Mozart’s Requiem. The sound was incredible but I remember it being a little chilly and drafty (it was very wet outside that day and early spring).
It will be easy to find vegetarian options in Vienna. I suggest going to lunch or dinner at Centimeter restaurant in Vienna. Its a bit casual but fun and has traditional Viennese food. Also, just walking around the First District (downtown) you will find a bunch of little hidden places to stop in and grab an authentic meal.
I suggest going on a carriage ride, visiting the palaces, seeing the Danube, possibly going on a brewery tour (Ottakringer brewery, schedule ahead via e-mail). Definitely go to Naschmarkt, the outdoor market. And there is the museum district which is fun to walk around.
Advice would be to get a 72 hour public transit pass and take the U-bahn or street trains everywhere when you aren’t walking. See if there are any events going on like balls, operas, concerts, etc.
thanks, I think my bf would like the brewery tour- is it easily accessible from central Vienna (we’re staying in the 8th district)?
Yes it is. And its in the 16th district, right next to the 8th. If you do a google direction search, you can find the best way to get there via public transit and the times. The public transit there is amazing. http://www.wien.info/en/sightseeing/tours-guides/ottakring-brewery. If you email you can look into joining another group on their tour. They offer a few each day I believe and best to plan ahead.
I second the brewery tour! I did that when I was a student living in Vienna. And then went to the Centimeter for dinner, actually! For food I also recommend Siebensternbrau (dinner), Einstein’s cafe (lunch), and a heuriger (restaurant affilated with a local vineyard) although I can’t remember whether they are vegetarian-friendly. I imagine you might be able to find out online though.
It sounds like you might not have time but if you think you can do it I highly recommend a morning or afternoon in Melk. You can take the u-bahn and then a train to get there. It is beautiful!
I also enjoyed touring Schoenbrun when we were there (easily accessible in the city with public transportation). If you’ll be there when the weather is nice the gardens are lovely.
I would go to the heuriger on Poetzleinsdorferstrasse in the 18th district – you can get out there on public transit, it has an awesome outdoor dining area and good food, and it’s less touristy than the heurige in Grinzing and related areas that people and guidebooks often suggest.
Vienna is so wonderful, and you’ll be able to find lots of good veg food. Take a look at Tian Restaurant, Yamm, Vegetasia, and BlueOrange. For the opera, you can do day-of standing room tickets for 3 euros. The standing area doesn’t require fancy dress, and the rest of the opera-goers are all across the board, dress-wise. For other music ideas, look at the Musikverein and the Konzerthaus, both fantastic. Also, be sure to check out the coffeehouses and pastry shops (Demel, Konditorei Oberlaa, Cafe Mozart)—totally divine.
great suggestions, thanks!
Czech here, though I do not live there any more. From my most recent trip, I wold recommend any restaurant run by AMBIENTE (http://www.ambi.cz/en/restaurace/), they have great food, surprising value, and the most friendly service I’ve experienced in my country. You can look up the respective menus in advance, because vegetarian dishes can be a challenge. I tend to focus on desserts when I go there and last time I really liked this coffee/light food place, both ambiance and snacks: http://www.cafelouvre.cz/en/.
I think Cesky Krumlov is a great idea, it looks like a fairy tale. From other places reachable from Prague, I’ve been wanting to visit Kutna Hora, baroque architecture and the famous ossuary if you are into that kind of thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kutná_Hora.
The full tour of Prague castle (there is something like 8 parts) is very good I think, my husband enjoyed it too. Quite arrange of different spaces and architectural features.
I like to visit Valdstejnske Zahrady (gardens) http://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g274707-d313664-i20593295-Wallenstein_Palace_Gardens-Prague_Bohemia.html
the sculpted wall with hidden animals and monsters is quite magical.
I don’t do particularly well with classical music and theatre, but there’s plenty of options!
Isn’t there a website where you can sign up to get a notification when a particular item goes on sale? Does anyone know what that is?
Was it Hukkster (https://corporette.com/2014/04/02/hukkster)? Shop It to Me is great too (although not for individual items).
That’s it! Thanks so much!
Shopping Notes and Shopstyle also have that option.
Also camelcamelcamel, which usefully shows you the item’s price history too