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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 145 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Easy Breezy Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Nanette Lepore Pencil Skirt6pm has some great sales on “fun workwear” brands like Nanette Lepore, Kate Spade New York, and Rachel Roy. (Also: this amazing Zac Posen cocktail dress, marked 70% off, and this fun Helmut Lang weekend sweater, marked 60% off.) I've pictured this pencil skirt because I always love this peekaboo effect on a pencil skirt, especially here where the opaque lining ends at a work-appropriate length instead of, say, mid-thigh. I like the hidden back zipper, as well, and the price: it's $108, marked down from $238. It's available in several lucky sizes at 6pm. (Two other Nanette finds: this blazer always struck me as an amazing one for Easter and springy events, and this burgundy fit and flare dress (sizes 0-4 only, alas) looks lovely.) Pictured:  Nanette Lepore Easy Breezy Skirt Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon for This

    Does anyone have suggestions about where to look for 100% remote/telework attorney or JD-preferred jobs for litigators? I’m a former Big Law attorney who moved to a very small town for family reasons. My job here is not working out, I have no other options locally and moving is not an option for at least 5 years, so I’m hoping to find something I can do virtually.

    • Anon0321

      This is tough, even if you can be telefriendly most of the time, it’s hard to find a job that is 100% telefriendly (I have a job where I can work remotely regularly, but my boss would still expect me to be in for meetings, and available locally when needed).
      I think you start by looking for a list of companies that are telefriendly & go from there. If you are willing to leave your job, you should also ask them about teleworking– they might prefer that over you leaving entirely.
      Also, have you considered just bridging the gap by doing other work? There are many times in my life where I’ve made ends meet by tutoring & other things. If being in this small town is a necessity, you might need to be more flexible on what type of work you do.

    • Anonymous

      Could you reach out to your former BigLaw contacts and possibly work remotely for them? I think that might be your best bet. It will help if you can offer to be in the office one week/month or something like that. Friends have also done contract work for law firms – brief writing, handling discrete projects, etc.

      • txatty

        I know Littler offers this on one particular client – wal-mart – for writing responses to EEOC charges. Paid by the response.

        • Jules

          As a union and employee-side attorney, I can verify that EEOC charges against Wal-Mart would be a stable and even growing business. :/

    • MJ

      Try Axiom, Counsel on Call, UpCounsel, Hire an Esquire, Flex by Fenwick and Paragon Legal.

      • MJ

        Well, as a side-hustle, you’d have moonlighting and conflicts issues, so I would not recommend them for that unless your side-hustle was well away from your day job.

        I have heard good things about Axiom, Paragon and UpCounsel. I have worked across from Flex folks. Have not used or worked across from Hire an Esquire.

  2. toot

    sometimes it’s worth tooting your own horn. Today is one of those–I had my first of 2 meetings to go over my performance annual review (and probationary review after a reclassification of my job), and my boss had pretty much nothing but good things to say. I was honestly expecting some of, “Toot does a great job at X, but there are occasions when Y would be more appropriate” or some other sort of constructive criticism. But there wasn’t.

    I really do love my job, and I’m really good at it. And sometimes that just feels good to say.

  3. Sydney Bristow

    This skirt is gorgeous! Love!

    Kat, I really like the new mobile site. I do have one request though. Would it be possible to add links to the previous and next posts at the bottom of the comments as well? I like that setup on the desktop version and would appreciate it on the mobile one.

  6. Vegetarian

    In light of yesterday’s post how do you prevent yourself from snapping at rude people. I’m so tired of being told it’s ‘unnatural’ or that I’m ‘malnourished’ or ‘deficient’. It takes everything in my being not to say well actually… Vegetarians/vegans are less likely to be obese, less likely to get cancer, less likely to get heart disease ect.

    • Anonymous

      “Excuse me, I need to be over there now”

      or

      “I find that it works for me.”

      • SuziStockbroker

        “It works for me” is my go-to answer.

        If pressed (in a non-rude way, because that I just shut down by saying “excuse me” as above), I just tell the truth about why I became vegetarian; it’s a combination of health, ethical, and environmental concerns.

    • Anon

      Are you speaking about rudeness in yesterday’s post? Because all the rudeness I saw was from vegetarians telling other vegetarians they weren’t vegetarian enough.

      I live in SF so I have lots and lots of vegetarian friends. They tell me the most common question they get is “how do you get enough protein?” Which, understandably, they get tired of hearing. But I think most people ask it innocently because they are considering more of a plant based diet for themselves.

      I do have one vegetarian coworker who makes a lot of snide comments about meat eaters (“dead animal on your plate” and the like) at work related meals. As as result I’ve seen people make rude comments back to her, but honestly she brings it on herself. I think she does it for attention, consistent with other aspects of her look-at-me personality.

      • Vegetarian

        It’s mainly my hefty white male coworkers making the comments. But others in the office do too especially if it’s something less common like couscous or Pearl barley

        • Anon

          I think it’s somewhat adorable that there are places left in the U.S. where couscous and pearl barley are considered exotic and unusual. Come join us in SF! There’s a quinoa bowl place near my work that routinely has a line around the block. Your hefty white male coworkers wouldn’t know what to do with themselves.

          But honestly, you don’t really care what they think, so don’t let it bother you.

          • Also in Academia

            I once dated a man who thought that I cooked exotic foods a lot. The food in question? Rice. We did not last.

      • CountC

        The how do you get enough protein question is really the only comment I’ve gotten since going vegetarian. I take it as an opportunity to educate people about plant-based proteins and gently suggest we are a little protein obsessed as a society. If you are respectful and not defensive about it, most people are welcoming an d open to the educational aspect of it.

        • Em

          I kind of hate it when people tell me I’m too protein obsessed. I was vegetarian for a while and it just. didn’t. work for me. I feel so, so much better when I eat some (not a lot, comparative to the average) animal protein. And I never lecture or even ask vegetarians about protein. And yet still, my vegetarian friends and co-workers feel like it’s their place to tell me I am eating more protein than I need and it’s all psychological.

          • anon

            That’s ridiculous. I’m a fairly strict vegetarian and I would never comment on someone’s eating habits. Like ever. And I’m not silently judging either. I don’t really think about what other people eat unless there’s some compelling reason, like I’m throwing a dinner party. I’ve had friends express pleasant surprise that I don’t mind hanging out with them when they’re eating burgers, and it’s just really disappointing to me that they’d expect otherwise. Why is it so hard to accept people making choices for themselves?

          • Anonymous

            Yea I said suggest. I don’t lecture anyone about their food choices ever, but if someone suggests that I am eating in a way that isn’t healthy, then yea, I am going to take that as an opportunity to educate them. If you never tell me I don’t get enough protein, then you will never hear my suggestion. Easy as pie.

            You do you on what you eat. I don’t give a rat’s a$$ what you eat.

      • Anonymous

        “I find it rude to comment on other people’s eating habits”. This goes for diet choices as well as “why are you eating that 400 calorie cookie”. I also second the “excuse me?” or “that’s a rude thing to say”.

    • Alli

      I think you can respond without snapping at them. When someone opens the door to rudeness with mean words like “unnatural,” “malnourished,” or “deficient,” I would respond with “Yeah, that’s a common misconception when people aren’t informed about vegetarianism” or something to stand up for yourself. I wouldn’t engage after that and would probably follow Anonymous 10:34 suggestion of “Excuse me,” gotta go, or some derivative. But you can certainly stand up for your choices when someone is rude.

      Or, hey, just give them a puzzled look and say “My, that’s a rude thing to say.” Ha.

    • Veronica Mars

      My standard response when I’m shocked is to say, “Oh [John], you’re so funny,” and then walking away. In my tone and delivery, it comes across as a light way of saying “you’re being ridiculous right now.” I’m sure it’s not the most graceful comment ever, but I’ve got it down to a knee-jerk response and it’s better than saying nothing and stewing.

      • Anon

        This is a good one. Anything along the lines of the withering southern insult “aww bless your heart” is a great retort – cutting them dead while still being able to claim complete innocence.

        • Veronica Mars

          That one’s great too, but everyone around me is wise to what ‘Bless your heart’ really means, so that’s not an option, unfortunately.

    • August

      A couple weeks back, I was at a lunch with my team as a person with whom we work remotely was on site. I ordered a vegetarian salad which I always order in that restaurant. Everyone else ordered pizza, burger, pasta etc. The person who with work remotely was trying to be funny and asked me if I feel like a cow eating that salad which was full of leaves. I just didn’t expect that coming and was shocked. I just said something like “Noooo way..”. But I really don’t know if I should get offended or brush it off as a joke.

      • An

        I’d have said ” No more than you feeling like a cannibal eating meat”. Rude? Yes.
        Warranted? Also yes.

        • Anonymous

          Nope. Nope nope nope. Not warranted, not okay, not acceptable. Also, I eat meat. Not human.

          • An

            As a vegetarian, I think the comparison is fair, don’t dish it out of you can’t take it.

          • Batgirl

            Yeah, I don’t think that’s a proportionate response. I feel like I’ve heard people say they feel like a cow when eating a big pile of lettuce sometimes–may not have been directed to the fact you were eating vegetarian so much as the actual appearance of the salad. Not super polite but you’re not going to win friends by calling them cannibals (which is neither accurate nor nice).

        • anon

          “At least I won’t die of heart disease.”
          Not my actual attitude, and I only whip that one out if someone is being mega rude.

          • Anon

            Eh, not to pick a fight, but you still might. If being vegetarian were the only answer to that, it would be a lot easier.

          • anon

            Oh, sure. Like I said, not my actual thoughts on the matter. I’ve gotten used to being around people who feel like they’ve “won” if you don’t make some kind of aggressive attack and take it as license to treat you even more poorly in the future.

            Heart disease runs in my family, so yeah, I still might.

        • Anonymous

          But a cannibal eats other people. The meanness shows, but this doesn’t even make sense. Just makes vegetarians look like awful people who have extra smugness about their digestive habits.

          signed,
          dowager countess who does not think that nice people discuss digestive habits or even take note of them

    • Clementine

      Whenever I’m encountered with a really over the line question, my response is the same.

      I just look blankly over them and let the inappropriateness hang in the air. Occasionally, I might add a ‘Pardon me?’ or a simple, ‘Why do you ask?’ but if it’s truly inappropriate, I just sit there silently for a bit.

      This has worked for me for awkward questions about my marital plans, fertility and family planning, dietary habits, finances, and more.

    • Anonymous

      I say something like, “actually, that’s not true. It’s surprisingly easy to get enough protein” and try to leave it at that. If someone keeps poking at me, I suggest a book on nutrition or ask if they would appreciate it if I asked them how they get enough fiber.

    • Anonymous

      I try to have a stock phrase that I use and just gently repeat as needed, usually “every body is different…” with a tight smile in work settings. In my personal life I am happy to be rude back to rude people by just making a face and not answering or by pointing out how rude they are being by saying “how rude” and changing the subject.

    • padi

      I’ve only been on a vegan diet for a month or so but I get these questions from people I work with. It’s mostly just been curiosity and I try to respond accordingly. It helps that I can truthfully say that more than one doctor recommended it and that I’ve felt the health benefits already. If they ask about protein, I explain that as long as I get tofu or beans+carb at every meal, I feel really good. If that isn’t possible, I have a protein shake waiting in my office. For B12 and other vitamins, my blood tests didn’t show a deficiency but if I feel like I need a boost, I take a vitamin. Most people have been supportive and tell me that they or their family is thinking of having a “meatless” day every week or is trying out plant-based meals more and more.

      • Plant Powered

        If someone starts giving me a hard time about “nutrition” or protein, I simply invite them to join me for a 100 mile bicycle ride. That shuts them up. The people that annoy me more are the ones who constantly point out things that I “cannot” eat.

  7. BlackTieHelp

    Ladies, any suggestions on gown for a formal black tie event, this is for my work so has to be conservative and professional looking. I would prefer a high neckline, not open shoulders if possible. Sleeveless is ok. Prefer black color so it is something classic that I can use for other events in the future. I was hoping to avoid rent the runway and just buy something, budget under $500, could go till 1000$ max if the piece is perfect. I am looking at Nordstrom, saks and other stores but nothing is popping out. Any specific picks or stores? The event is 2 weeks away, thanks in advance.

  8. Batgirl

    I’m on the hunt for black boots, along the lines of riding boots, but the sleeker the better. The problem? I am on the shorter side so a shaft over 16″ is going to be too tall on me. And I have “problem feet” that wide in the front, narrow in the back and require some support. I also have skinny calves, which makes it hard to go for wide boots.

    I realize this is a tall order, but I’m desperate. I’d like to stay below $300. Thanks in advance for any help!

    • SuziStockbroker

      I bought some Geox boots last winter that sound like they’d fit your bill. I am afraid I don’t have a link, but I think their website is worth a peruse.
      These particular boots are very sleek, have quite an adjustable shaft (there are several very small and neat gores), and are less high to the knee than I’d like (I have freakishly long legs). My feet are also wide in the front and narrow at the back.

    • boots

      Look at the Extra Petite blog. She has a lot of boots, and has several posts reviewing the kind of boots you want.

    • lost academic

      Have you considered actual riding boots? These come with specific calf width and height measurements along with a foot size because they are so important to correctly fit to a leg. I also find it’s not hard to get ones with wide toe boxes (because that’s my issue too!). They’re naturally very sleek-lined and durable. Ariat makes a good sole insert for more comfort when walking too.

      If you need help with fitting, try any tack store – Dover Saddlery is a common go-to here, and they are more than familiar with fitting, brands, etc.

      • Anonymous

        Be careful on sizing if you do go this route. Actually riding boots fit VERY snugly, if correctly fitted, and I don’t think I’d want to use boot pulls every time I put them on and a boot jack (or a friend) every time I wanted to get them off.

      • Anonymous

        I’d probably laugh out loud if I saw somebody wearing actual riding boots casually.

        • Eq

          +1
          Actual riding boots are not casual attire. They’re sporting equipment and designed to look like it these days.

        • CountC

          I have to admit that I would too. My boots zip all the way up the back (I ditched boot pulls a long time ago), but no way could I fit anything but leggings under them!

    • Anon

      Try La Canadienne. Love the Stefanie riding boot for my skinny ankles and calves.

      • Batgirl

        Do you typically go with “wide” sizes? My experience with Cole Haan is that they’re very narrow in the toe box.

  9. Runner 5

    Hi all – I’m looking to upgrade my iPad 2 that I’ve had since sumer 2011 and which is on its last legs. I’m torn between the iPad Air 2 and the Samsung Galaxy Tab S2 – my phone is the Samsung Galaxy S5, and I’m a PC person rather than a Mac person. Does anyone have either of those tablets and can comment on them?

    • Sydney Bristow

      I love my iPad Air 2. It is so light and does everything I want it to do. I haven’t had any problems with it. I wish the battery life was a little better, but it isn’t that big of a deal to me.

      I’m definitely an apple person though so take that into account.

    • Runner 5

      *summer, not sumer. How embarrassing. (In my defence, we don’t really get summer in the UK so I’m unfamiliar with the concept…..)

      • Cb

        Oh summer, what is that? Did you see the Guardian piece about when it is acceptable to wear black tights? When are black tights not appropriate? It’s not like we have summer!

        I use an Android phone (Sony Xperia something) and an Ipad Air 2. I use them for quite different purposes so I don’t mind using two different platforms.

        • Runner 5

          I did see that! My love of black tights is only rivalled by my love of the M&S 7 denier nude tights. Although I’m dying to try their Merino tights for winter…

          • Cb

            I love the nude tights as well – they are the only thing long enough. I haven’t tried the Merino ones, I’ll have to check those out.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I have a Galaxy Tab S (which I swear I didn’t get that long ago, how are they already out with a S2?). I really like it. The display is amazing. I’m not really an apple person and my phone is android-based, so it made sense. Plus with the Galaxy, unlike with iPads, you can add SD cards for more space, which is very nice.

      (I found this review on the S vs. S2-if you can find an S, sounds like it might be better than the S2 actually): http://www.techtimes.com/articles/79747/20150827/samsung-galaxy-tab-s2-vs-galaxy-tab-s-whats-the-difference.htm

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Oh, and Galaxy Tabs can run some apps simultaneously on a split screen. Like I usually have internet browser + gmail or internet browser + hangouts open at once.

        • Runner 5

          The split screen function is what’s pulling me towards the Samsung – I’ve had a look at some of the S vs S2 comparisons and for me the screen ratio on the S2 is so much better for what I use my tablet for (pretty much identical to the iPad, too)

          • meme

            I thought the new iPads have a split screen function as well. I’m no expert though.

      • Anonymous

        I really like my Galaxy Tab. I’ve traveled with it a lot and haven’t missed having a laptop. Also, since I have both Samsung phone and tablet, I can switch out chargers without a problem.

  10. Family Dynamics

    I guess I just need some perspective. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and I get along so well with his mom. I think she’s so sweet and loving and the relationship is a lot easier than my relationship with my own family. My family is also lovely but I feel like they don’t see me as the person I am today. My mom is highly critical about a lot of things at times but we normally get along great. But I think she’s feeling a bit threatened or maybe jealous of my boyfriend’s mom. She asked how things were going with her and I said great and my mom says things like well that won’t last. I guess I’m just not sure how to play things. I don’t want to lie to my mom, and my boyfriend’s mom won’t replace her obviously but I don’t want her to feel bad.

    TIA!

    • CountC

      The way you play things will depend on how receptive your mom is to a discussion about the criticism. Do you want to go down that rabbit hole? I’m guessing probably not. Next time your mom says something about your BF’s mom, why not try something along the lines of, “I hope it lasts because I see a future with BF. I value my relationship with her, just as I value my relationship with you mom. The two relationships are different, but neither one is more or less important.” Then change the subject.

      • anonymous

        If I said this to my mom ” but neither one is more or less important” at the OP’s age, she would have died: Mothers want to be loved and not replaced by the MIL. I’d say something like “my relationship with her is important but it doesn’t mean I love you less.” If necessary, you could add a comment that MIL/DIL relationships have less history than mother/daughter relationships, so they are necessarily different.

        • lawsuited

          I’d say, “It’s important for my relationship with [BF] for me to have a relationship with his mom. But she’ll never love me like you love me, and I’ll never love her like I love you.”

          Which is true; I’m lucky to have a very happy relationship with my MIL, but while she and I share shopping tips, it’s my mum I call when DH and I have had a huge fight or I’m stressed beyond belief at work or when I’m worried about one of my siblings.

      • Anon0321

        Was going to say this too- my mom sometimes gets fixated on things & I think it’s best to nip it in the bud, nicely but strongly. If she continues on, just say that you noticed that she keeps bringing this up, and you’d like her to stop.
        FWIW- I have a great relationship with my MIL & it’s been almost a decade, so it can be done if people are decent, don’t let your mom get you down about it, but also don’t let her plant negative seeds.

      • Cc

        So the idea that you would tell your mom that your relationship with a woman you’ve known for less than a year is just as important as yours with your mom strikes me as a bit cruel- I think you just say “mom I don’t want to hear that kind of negativity. I like that we get along well.” Don’t lie to her but you don’t have to go over board telling her how great she is either- it’s still the honeymoon period for that relationship as well.

        • CountC

          Gotcha. I didn’t think of it that way. I’d still say it to my own mother, but that’s of course based on our relationship, not the OPs!

          • CountC

            I am now chuckling about this conversation with my mother, because that would mean I would even tell her I was hanging out with my bf’s mom. Sorry to give crap advice OP! Wasn’t thinking clearly, clearly!

    • Cb

      Gosh, that’s a tough one. I have an incredibly close relationship with my parents but they live 7000 miles away so sometimes proximity wins out and I end up spending more time with my in-laws (4 hour train journey). I try to make sure my mom is included in the day-to-day things and ask her for help in her areas of expertise (curtain-making, good recipes, online shopping). It’s totally petty but the fact that my husband finds my parents way easier than his helps – they get to feel like they are winning the in-law game.

    • Call me Sam

      This is very familiar to me. I went through this about 20 years ago. I’m not sure that I handled it so well. I was young and in a stage of rebellion from my parents (my adolescent rebellion occurred in my late teens/early twenties rather than earlier). I guess my advice to you (looking at it from 15 years into a wonderful marriage that comes along with it a mother-in-law I truly adore and think of as a parent) is as follows:
      –do your best to be sensitive to your mother’s feelings. They are annoying, but they are real. Do your best to make her feel like she’s important to you (even if maybe she isn’t).
      –nurture the relationship with your boyfriend’s mom, too. It can turn into something very special and valuable.
      –don’t talk to one of the women about the other. Try to keep that topic out of bounds. If your mother brings it up, change the subject. You may want to filter what you tell her mother in order to avoid talking about the boyfriend’s mom too often, or to avoid sounding too effusive. I’m not saying you should lie, but you know what I mean–try not to go on and on about her or to mention every time you like something about her. I often find this feels fake to me, but I wish I had done a better job of avoiding the topic.
      –I can really relate to the concept of your family not seeing you as you are today, whereas your boyfriend’s family is perhaps better at seeing you for who you are in the present. No great insight into how to change that–in my experience it doesn’t really change. But you can get over it in your own mind and your own emotions and not let it bother you that they can’t seem to change with you.
      –based on therapy where I’ve worked on these issues, the advice I have about dealing with your mother’s comments is to respond not react. Have a plan in your head of what random topic you will change to when she brings it up. Don’t react with emotion or judgement. Just be ready to calmly deflect. I find this is sometimes effective.
      Good luck. I know this is hard and unpleasant. I hope you will be able to enjoy being blessed with two women in your life who care for you.

      • MIL

        I am going to be the MIL (I have two boys, both of whom appear to be heterosexual). This post made my day. I would never try to replace the relationship between a daughter in law and her mother, but I hope that I will be lucky enough to have close, meaningful relationships with any DILs. I am very close to my mom, and I will always mourn not having that with a daughter (recognizing of course that a daughter does not guarantee such a relationship and that my three guys – husband and sons – are just the best dang guys in the whole world).

        • MIL

          Call Me Sam – I just re-read my response, and I apologize if that post was insensitive regarding what may be a difficult relationshp with your mom. Your kind words about your MIL just jumped out at me, and I was struck by what appears to be a good relationship. I just sort of glossed over the other family dynamics at play.

          • Call me Sam

            No worries. You are going to be a great MIL someday. I’m glad my post made you happy.

  12. Lizbet

    Do patent leather shoes have a season? I’m wearing black patent pumps today (it’s 60 degrees in Seattle) but have a niggling concern that patent shoes are for summer. Thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      I think that used to be the rule but it has become totally acceptable to wear them year-round.

    • Anonymous

      Traditionally (i.e., back in the era where you’d wear hose in the summer or everyone would clutch pearls), they are a warm weather leather (like for Easter and warmer). But I think that’s not current thinking. Even I wear them year round. They seem to take a beating well.

    • tesyaa

      Patent used to be a spring/summer thing, but not anymore. However, my personal view is tht black patent doesn’t work with black tights. If you’re going with black tights, I’d wear a shoe that’s a matte leather or suede.

      • Maddie Ross

        See, I think it’s all personal preference, as I definitely prefer black patent with black tights – it’s less matchy and more like intentional coordination in my book.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, I like the patent + tights look too. I think it may be because (for me at least) tights require strappy shoes, and strappy shoes are more commonly patent vs. matte leather.

  13. Anonymous

    This is probably a basic question about credit cards, but I am a grown a $ $ woman who does not know the answer.

    I have put a ton of money on my N*rdstrom credit card because I need new booties and don’t have time to go to the store, so I ordered about 15 pairs. My bill just came in today with a huge balance.

    If I pay just some of it, and then return all of the booties before the next bill, will I be charged interest? What is the best strategy here? I always pay my bill in full, but I don’t really want to do that here.

    • Anonymous

      When is your payment due? Can you return the shoes by then? You might wind up owing interest, but it’s per days @ the balance owed, so it might be a very small amount if you return quickly.

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      Play it safe side and pay it. I would be too afraid that it would hurt my credit or I would be charged interest even after returning the boots. I wouldn’t even trust calling them and explaining the situation.

      • S

        How would paying above the minimum but not the full amount possibly hurt your credit?

    • Anonymous

      If your bill is due before the return will show up on the card, then yes have to pay the bill in full. But normally credit card bills are due 1-2 months after you charge things, so if you return them promptly, you should have plenty of time to get the return credited to your bill. If the bill came in today, it’s probably due in a month or so. If you don’t want to pay the huge bill, get yourself to a store and return the shoes ASAP.

    • An

      You shouldn’t be charged if the returns get processed, and credited back to your account before the payment date.

      If the returns are only processed later, you will get charged interest if you don’t pay full amount on the card.

      • Anonymous

        This. It is the due date of the payment and not the date of the next bill being issued that you need to pay attention to.

        I would take into account that Nordstrom can sometimes be very slow to post returns–I have the debit card (which is admittedly a different setup with the ACH link than the credit card), and when I mail in a return it’s usually a week minimum for it to be received and processed, and then another 3-4 days for the money to go back into my bank account.

        • tesyaa

          I agree that Nordstrom returns take a little longer than average to be acknowledged and credited.

          Boden, on the other hand, seems to be super speedy.

    • Renee

      I do this with Nordstrom all the time. You can’t return mail ordered stuff to the store. You have to mail it and it won’t be credited to your account before the payment date bc Nordstrom has a short bill cycle and long return process time (it’s a store card not a credit card and has its own rules). SO, you must make a minimum payment. You could pay in full but the problem is you won’t get your money back. Instead, you’ll pay your entire bill and after the shoe returns get posted, you’ll have a huge credit on your account that’ll only be good for future Nordstrom purchases. I would pay the minimum and you’ll end up paying a bit of interest on the remainder of the balance until the returns are posted, but that’s not a big deal. It won’t hurt your credit as long as you pay the minimum. Order a few at w time next time (says the girl who ordered 7 swim suits and kept 1…)

      • J2

        I return to the store Nordstrom stuff I ordered online literally all the time. Like at least once a week.

  14. *** moto jacket styling ***

    How do you wear / style a moto jacket? [Like something gray and tweedy.]

    With just a shell underneath?
    Zipped?

    My inclination is to zip if I am wearing with a turtleneck underneath (or something like the Tory Burch Lidia polo), so something is peeking out), but to otherwise unzip (then is is more like a cardigan).

    Boo to those with 3/4 sleeves — it really limits what I can wear underneath them and being limited to summer shirts now that it is cold makes me want to wear indoor gloves.

    • AZCPA

      I personally like a long sleeve under a half or 3/4 sleeve – something about the layering without adding bulk that appealing to me. That said, it’s definitely not for everyone (has a sort of artsy vibe). Also, I’m in Arizona where we basically don’t need real coats, and I think that plays into it. It’s ‘cold’ and rainy today so I brought out tights and boots, but the high will still be 70.

  15. anonymous

    All the recent discussion about vegetarianism/commenting on others’ eating habits and the like has me wondering whether overly personal questions and commentary on very personal things is a gendered problem. Do men get questions/commentary on personal things to the same extent we do? Minus obvious things, like speculation over pregnancy? Or is this a representation of the fact that people feel like women’s personal lives are open for commentary?

    • Maddie Ross

      This is my personal belief, so I understand others may disagree, but I think men get them too, but they just react totally differently. If my husband suddenly went vegetarian for instance, I think the guys he works with would ridicule and rib him about it. But the difference is that he wouldn’t feel attacked or that he needed to explain how rude they were – he would take it as guys being guys and then give them sh*t about driving needing a bigger belt, or something. I think this is just more how guys interact. I’m not endorsing it or saying it’s ok, but I think we, as women, feel it’s some type of more personal affront. And maybe we shouldn’t.

      • Maddie Ross

        *about their driving, or needing a bigger belt. Or apparently they could give me sh*t about my typing skills…

      • anonymous

        Do you think the line about that’s just how guys interact is a choice? Like, do you think the option is open to women to respond the same way men do, or is that not part of the norm, or otherwise not acceptable?

        • Maddie Ross

          I certainly think women can respond the same way. I choose to and have generally had a lot of good male friends and good relationships with my male co-workers. I just choose not to get upset about certain things.

        • Alli

          I think women could make that same choice, but it would not be as accepted. If a guy says “Yeah, I’m vegetarian, so what– looks like you need a bigger belt,” his guy colleagues might laugh and shrug it off. If we say the same thing, we probably get a different response. We could make that choice, but we are beholden to different expectations.

          I recently discussed with my husband that I am tired of responding for the both of us when we need to RSVP to events. I asked him to handle some of them and he said “Why don’t we just not RSVP? If we go, fine, if not, fine.” After explaining that is rude to the host who needs a headcount to prepare food (sigh, that’s another post), I realized that if we do ignore the RSVP, the host will contact ME, not my husband. The host will assume the WIFE has failed to RSVP, not the husband. So, I could choose to make the same choice and ignore the RSVP, but I will likely be judged differently than a man would. I think it’s the same with the conversational responses we are discussing here.

          • Anon0321

            In her book, sotomayor had a funny thing about how after she got divorced from her husband, her former MIL called to say thank you for all the gifts she got that she didn’t realize were sent from her rather than her son (cause after the divorce, she stopped getting calls/cards/gifts)… made me chuckle.

    • Anonymous

      IMO, if your workplace is mostly men, you might chalk this up to gender and not the crowd you’re in.

      I routinely find that women are more likely to be outright evil where if a guy asks a questionable question, it may be from not having a filter on their curiosity as opposed to a desire to get a dig in or try to crush your soul with words.

      At any rate, a guy asking about protein is maybe just asking a question (but labeling him first by his size, then by his gender and race is the sort of bi*tchy judging thing that women routinely do). Just say bless your heart and move on.

    • Anonymous

      I think so. I have a male coworker who is a vegetarian and he’s always questioned much more about it than me because he’ll announce it when we’re choosing restaurants, etc, whereas I go the stealth vegetarian route.

    • Emmer

      My husband gets asked when he’s going to have kids all the time, and other male friends I know get asked all the time when they are going to marry their girlfriends, so that’s one example at least. Interestingly, my friends in same-sex relationships tend not to get asked this, so different kinds of gender dynamics at play there as well.

    • Anonymous

      I think it absolutely is a gender issue. I think guys tend to overlook most characteristics of their male friends and just boil it down to “do I have a good time when Joe and I watch the game together?” If pressed, they may admit that they don’t like that Joe cheats on his girlfriend or drives home drunk, but they don’t end friendships over it or really think about it much at all unless a woman in their life asks “how can you be friends with someone who does that? Are you going to do that too?”

      In contrast, women have a much harsher standard for their circle and are much quicker to cut out someone whose lifestyle they don’t approve of because it makes the friendship “toxic.”

      I don’t mean the above to sound like I think the guy way is better–I do think as women we are too hard on each other and too up in each other’s choices–but I also think that many historically disrespectful behaviors of men persist because they look the other way when they see Joe take the really drunk freshman upstairs in the frat house.

    • anonymous

      Also even if it’s equally commented on, I wonder if women are “judged” more. Guys joke around among friends, but I’ve never seen that as a judgment or an actual criticism, whereas it does seem that way more often when women are on the receiving end.

    • AIMS

      I’m not sure, but my experience of it is that women – especially older ones – tend to ask much more personal questions. I can’t say that they ask men less questions than women, but I definitely get a lot. Of the people I work with, the most personal and often inappropriate questions I get are from women of a certain vintage. Everything from “why aren’t you having a protein for lunch” to “how much weight have you gained in your pregnancy” to “how much do you pay for your apartment” – things I wouldn’t dream of asking even my close friends unless they brought it up first. The men I work with tend to be fairly non-specific and will only ask questions if I open the door to a certain topic.

      • Anonymous

        Q: “why aren’t you having a protein for lunch” [and not just “protein” but “a protein” — that sounds so awfully strange on many fronts]

        This is something that people say? Man, people need hobbies. Or something. Too much free time.

        A: I’m planning on having a brie and bacon blowout at home tonight :)

        • AIMS

          Not only something that people say, but something that someone I work with says repeatedly.
          “What’s for lunch” is a frequent one – always followed by a judgment about whatever I am eating (“are you on a diet?” or “you must be hungry, that’s a big lunch!”) … Also, “what’s for dinner?” – this as I am leaving for the day. Yesterday was the “a protein” comment.

    • National_Anthem

      I think to some extent, it is a representation of the fact that people feel like women’s personal lives are open for commentary…
      Recently in a coffee shop, I noticed an older man pointing me out to his friend, and his friend sort of squinting at me. The squinting guy looked confused, so I said “Can I help you?”
      The older man, a complete stranger, then explained to me that he was pointing out to his friend that my “dress was like a bar code,” so he could “scan [me] and see how much [I] was worth.” (in fairness, I guess, the dress was a black and white pattern. But it was a business-appropriate sheath dress that does not look like a bar code, not that that would make the comment a-ok).
      I told my male co-worker about this when I got to work, and his response was “Wow, I can’t imagine a stranger saying something to me about what I’m wearing,” and I thought, that specifically is the weird part of this encounter to you? Strangers comment on my clothing pretty regularly, I just thought that one in particular was a notable comment.

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