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Updated: Feb 13, 2023 146 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Giselle Earrings

Coffee Break

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pearl earrings with gold bar at top of elongated organic pearl shape

I've seen a number of interesting takes on pearls lately — lots from what I consider as “younger” sites like Shopbop, which is where I found the pictured earrings. (Shopbop has well over 100 pearl earrings alone in stock right now!)

I'm not sure I'd sell or replace classic pearl earrings and necklaces for these looks, but I do think there are a lot of pros — chief among them affordability, uniqueness, and the usual pros with pearls.

What are the usual pros with pearls? Maybe it's just me, but as someone with dark hair, I've always thought drop pearl earrings look great because they stand out. There's also just something about pearls that brings a luminescence to skin — they brighten your whole face. They also go with everything.

These earrings are from Shashi, for $88, at Shopbop.

Want something that's still modern but with round pearls? These $550 drop earrings are gorgeous.

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Sales of note for 9.30.24

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  2. Anonymous

    I am a young cancer survivor (diagnosed at 21, 27 now) and recently signed up for 1:1 counseling to talk through some things. The cancer support center offers free counseling with licensed therapists which is really nice as I know therapy can be $$$. They also have a long wait list. Anyways, when I met with the therapist he disclosed that he is an intern. LinkedIn says he graduates from grad school in May. He seemed nice enough and professional and it is free to me. Is it bad that I wish he had more experience?? He had very “textbook” responses during the intake if that makes any sense. “Beggars can’t be choosers” also comes to mind

    • Curious

      It really depends if his textbookness gets in the way of being effective. Even if you can see the techniques he’s using, what matters is whether they work.

      • Curious

        Everyone else said this so much more nicely! I think you’ve posted before about this. Sending love for all your big decisions from a fellow young ish (not as young as you) cancer survivor pondering when / if we’ll be ready to try for a second child.

    • Elle

      I had really good luck with an intern therapist in a similar situation. I would give it a shot. If it’s not a good fit after a few visits you can always shop around.

    • Vicky Austin

      No, not bad to wish he had more experience, but I also had a great therapist who was graduating from the counseling program the semester that (or right after?) that I went to see her – I was in college.

    • Anon

      It’s not bad to wish that! There is good evidence, though, that the biggest factor in successful therapy is connection to your therapist (more than their training, years of experience, type of therapy etc). So if you otherwise liked him and feel like you could create a therapeutic bond with him, I’d still encourage you to go for it! I will say, almost all free/low cost therapy is going to be from students or new grads.

    • Anonymous

      Very valid concern! It can feel like you’re a practical exam.

      I think you’ll notice soon, though, whether he’s one of the excellent ones – more open, less set in their ways, curios, exited to be of help, ready to try different things, have a good mentor, etc. Nothing by rote.

    • AIMS

      When I was in high school we had an intern therapist at the school and he really helped me out. I think for me just talking was almost more important than anything he could have said and what he said was sufficient. So I wouldn’t discount this person on the basis of his experience alone.

  4. Elle

    In the thread about everyday makeup this morning, a lot of people mentioned tinted moisturizer with no powder. Is that common or are people just not mentioning setting powder? I feel like I looks so shiny/greasy.

    • Vicky Austin

      I don’t use powder on the regular, but I’ve got pretty dry skin. I use the Bare Minerals complexion rescue (maybe we’re all referring to different types of tinted moisturizer?).

    • Anonymous

      Maybe it depends on your skin? When I was younger I used to have very oily skin and couldn’t skip powder. As I’ve aged my skin has gotten dryer I don’t find I need it as much.

    • Anonymous

      I didn’t realize normal people used setting powder. I use it for stage makeup and special occasions and that’s it.

    • Of Counsel

      This is one of those things that is highly dependent on a specific person’s skin – and sometimes on a specific person’s skin in a specific place at a specific time in their life. When I was younger I often wore powder. As I have gotten older, my skin has gotten much drier and powder just settles in lines! And even when I wore powder, whether I needed it depended on the time of year and where I was (California, Arizona, Georgia resulted in dramatically different skin).

    • Anon

      I think powder has sort of gone out of fashion, but you do you? I use foundation and powder still, but I’m learning from my tween daughter’s experience that setting spray is also a thing.

    • Thanksgiving anxiety

      I just walk around shiny tbh. I hated it in my teens but somehow in my 30s I kind of like it?

    • Anon

      I think using setting spray is way more common these days, but I still use powder on my forehead.

    • Anon

      I don’t find my tinted moisturizer overly shiny. for me it’s really a factor of what’s under it. I sometimes (rarely) use Laura Mercier loose powder with a very fluffy brush over my nose and inner cheek area, but I like my outer cheek area to be slightly luminous.

      I also don’t use a ton of tinted moisturizer so that may be a factor. I use a tiny drop for my whole face.

    • Anonymous

      For me it’s more of a way to freshen up my makeup — I just got a NYX one that’s white but nice on.

      Another one for Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue tinted moisturizer! But I feel like it isn’t evening my skin as much as I want it to so I may go up to the next level, whatever that is.

      (What IS the next level? CC cream? BB cream? Foundation serum?)

      • Anon

        I’d go to the Estee Lauder counter and get matched for Double Wear. It’s the next level. CC cream could be thicker but the finish isn’t as nice as a well applied true foundation.

        • Anon

          I love my NARS tinted moisturize and I wear it all summer, so I’m not trying to sell against it, but it’s not a more coverage than the Bare Minerals, which I’ve also owned.

    • Anonymous

      I use a setting powder if I use foundation. I don’t do a full face of foundation, but layer where get rid of redness. I use the powder to both set the foundation, and even out any transitioning unevenness.

      I don’t use it to avoid shine, I use a glowy finishing powder, not matte at all.

    • Anon

      I’m the exact opposite, I use a powder as my foundation. I find everything else looks greasy really fast. There are some great modern looking powders out there. If you don’t layer over foundation it looks good. I think it gets cakey when there’s too much underneath.

  5. Z

    Surprise no one in the morning thread posted about the sh**ting at MSU last night. It has been a weird day in SE Michigan. Lots of people with kids there, who are alumni, who are just deeply personally affected. Several kids at MSU right now were seniors at Oxford High School when there was a sh**ting there in 2021, and I saw on the news this morning that a Sandy Hook survivor is also a student at MSU and is re-traumatized. We have failed these kids as a nation.

      • Anon

        Awesome, let’s limit freedom of speech to quill pens and newspapers printed with a letterpress.

        • Anonymous

          This is exactly why originalism is a terrible approach to constitutional interpretation.

          • Anon

            Tell me you don’t understand originalism without telling me you don’t understand originalism.

            That our technology has advanced since the Founding does not mean that the Founders were unaware of technological advancements in either publishing or gun manufacturing. (There is a better argument for the Second Amendment including technologically advanced guns than 1A including the Web: the operative clause of 2. A well ordered militia wouldn’t fight with 250 year old weapons.)

            Besides, what system of constitutional interpretation do you prefer – the one in which you get your desired result because constitoooshun?

      • Anon

        Anytime someone experiences trauma, it’s normal to want to reach out and talk about the trauma. The poster probably wanted to see that others were just as upset as she is about this situation.

        Honestly, it’s awful. And it’s also awful that this is such a common occurrence that people outside the immediate area aren’t discussing it as much.

        • Anonymous

          Yeah. How many mass shootings have there been this week? I certainly get the desire for connection but also, posting something each time is redundant and posting only about the ones that happen at elite colleges is insensitive.

      • Anon

        I’ve worked at two universities that had mass shootings. Despite being personally affected, I’ve pretty much stopped caring. If it were up to me, we’d repeal the second amendment and take gun control seriously, but since that’s off the table politically, I’ve just given up on this issue as it seems completely pointless.

        • Anon

          So you can’t see any way to stop this except repealing a core Constitutional right.

          For starters: social contagion theory is real. Let’s find a way to fix it regarding mass shootings.

          Mental health. We do not take it seriously. Community – is that even a thing anymore? Life scripts – how to thrive. Whelp we don’t give kids that either.

          Families? Do we even try to give kids stability or has decades of “kids are resilient” become an article of faith? (Yes, there are good reasons to divorce or be a single parent, but that’s not the same thing as saying kids just need to deal.)

          Social media? Teenagers are prone to thinking that life now is life forever, and the “forever” of the internet doesn’t do a lot to dissuade kids from thinking it so.

          The suicide rate is skyrocketing too. If every gun on the face of this earth disappeared tomorrow, we would still have far too many dead kids and an unaddressed crisis.

          • Anon

            Wow, you did such an amazing job regurgitating right-wing pro-gun talking points here! What a great job reinforcing and supporting the toxic agenda that keeps leading to the unnecessary deaths of thousands of people. Great job! Wish I had a gold star to give you for being such a good little apparatchik!

            Maybe when you have some original ideas of your own, you could come back and we could have a real, grown-up discussion about this? LMK

          • anonshmanon

            yes you have totally convinced/distracted me by pointing to other bad things in the world and I suddenly fully support private gun ownership because it’s tradition!

          • Anon

            So what you’re saying is that we ban divorce, the internet, kids talking to each other, and we involuntarily institutionalize people just so you get to keep your guns?

            And I’m not talking about a handgun or a hunting rifle. You know the kinds of guns people want to LIMIT, not even ban, so don’t act like anyone is talking about taking out the entire 2nd amendment.

          • Anon

            Everything I said is backed up by a lot of social science. I touched a nerve, clearly, because you’re addicted to the idea that problems go away if we just ban guns. Maybe understand why gun ownership is in the Constitution before screaming about how awful it is, and understand everything from social contagions to the effects of isolation on children. If those are “right wing talking points,” everyone in the country should be voting Republican up and down the ticket.

  6. Anonymous

    I am catching up on multiple threads from the last few days – here’s a combo post!
    1) If you are the procrastinator: try Lexapro. Procrastination is also avoidance, a known coping mechanism for anxiety. Treat the anxiety and the procrastination vanishes.
    2) If you need a stylist, email lilaannefox@gmail.com and tell her that Gretchen sent you. She is magical.
    3) If you are the poster who was worried that she was going to be broken up with, then my recommendation is to break up with him first. The silent treatment is absolutely terrible and punitive and you shouldn’t have to live like that.
    4) If you are the poster with the new piano, I’d skip piano lessons until your child gets a little older. If he shows interest in the piano, that’s great – and maybe your husband can even find a way to do ukelele-piano duets with him – but in my experience, piano lessons don’t take until kids are closer to 6 or 7. So you have time before you need to focus on this. If you want an app, however, friends have been somewhat successful with Simply Piano.

    • Anonymous

      Love this combo post! May have missed the stylist post but thanks for the rec!

    • Cb

      Thank you re. the piano rec. Kiddo is enjoying ukulele so much that we’re just encouraging his enthusiasm. But I think my husband would be quite keen on brushing up on the piano.

  7. Anonymous

    I have a cat question for the group. We recently picked out a kitten from a reputable cat breeder. When we were there, we fell in love with a tiny kitten who was very shy and as a result was very pettable – she just hung out in our laps. There was another kitten there who was more playful and energetic and friendly, but not a lap cat. We picked Shy Cat. But the breeder suggested in a followup email that we should go with Playful Cat – that Shy Cat would likely be skittish for the long haul and that Playful Cat would be more cuddly going forward. We are not pet people and this is all new to us. What would you choose? Cat people, please help!

    Note that we are going through a breeder because we have terrible cat allergies in the extended family and so we are doing our best to minimize the allergy responses when our beloved people visit us. I would prefer to go get a shelter cat that already has a cuddly personality, but that’s not an option because of the allergies.

    • Anon

      I’d go with cuddly personally. I like a shy cat and the reward of having it bond to me, though.

    • Anonymous

      I’d go with the one you liked but also I think you’re crazy to think this cat won’t cause allergies. Like that’s insane and untrue and if the allergies are reallly a concern then no cat for you. Sadly! I love cats! But there isn’t a hypoallergenic cat.

      • Anon

        +1

        I am very allergic, and can’t have dogs or cats etc… as a pet in my home. But I just deal with it and don’t tell most people about my allergies. I am really grateful when I visit folks with cats who tend to vacuum frequently, and I’m not sure if air cleaners help, but that’s probably a good idea. My family with pets honestly couldn’t care less and would never clean before I come over but honestly I am rarely there and that’s fine for me.

        I just have to be crazy careful not to touch my mouth/eyes while I am there and when I get home I strip off all my clothes and everything goes right into the wash. I probably should keep a lint removal brush in my car, but I am not that organized….

        So if your relative’s allergies are as bad as you say, you should know it may be rough for them. You could try to keep one chair that’s easy to clean or that the cat stays off for them the allergic relative to sit in. Definitely vacuum before they come. Keep a lint brush for them. And ideally put the cat in a room while the guests are there. It is crazy the number of cats that seem to “smell” my allergy and jump on my lap….

      • Anon

        Some cats are being bred to produce lower levels of the main allergen. It’s not zero, but it’s less than other cats.

      • Rainbow Hair

        This! Two kittens is the best way to go. They’ll be better adjusted, you’ll get more sleep, and the cutest thing in the entire world is two kittens snuggling.

      • Anon

        Agree. My two brother cats were stray littermates when they adopted us. They’re about to turn 13 and they’re still besties. One of them is definitely the ringleader though, which is so fun and interesting to me – what personalities they really have.

        • Anonymous

          Two are so fun! They’re comforting when you’re gone and they often play together!

      • Anon

        Yes get both! Are the kitties in question Siberian Forest cats? I have two and they are awesome. I’m also allergic to cats and can tolerate them.

      • Anonymous

        +1. A lot of rescue groups will only adopt kittens in pairs because they need another cat around to teach them how to be a cat (or at least exhaust them).

    • smurf

      genuinely, why do you think this kitten is going to have less allergens than any other cat?
      It’s quite easy to tell if a young/adult cat is higher shedding and that’s really the only thing…but someone with terrible cat allergies is still going to have symptoms/a reaction that needs medication…

      • Anonymous

        It’s a Bengal cat, which statistically have a lower incidence of allergies than other cats because they produce less of the protein that causes allergic reactions. I totally understand that no cat is allergy free. But we are trying to minimize risk, not eliminate it.

        • Anon

          Oh please. You’re using that as a crutch to get a designer animal. If you can’t adopt a shelter cat, then you shouldn’t be out buying a bengal cat. That is not the answer. There are many articles on this, but breeding wild cats with domestics cats to get a ”bengal cat” is cruel and inhumane. They are the result of completely unnatural breeding, which result in health and behavior issues. There are NO regulations and there is a general lack of transparency, which results in all of the issues you see in puppy mills. You can say that your particular breeder isn’t like that, but you’re still adding to a growing industry where people pay thousands of dollars for one cat while millions of others get left in shelters. Just back out of this now.

      • Anon

        I’m not the OP but cat hair isn’t the source of allergies. It’s their saliva.

        • Anon

          They lick themselves with grooming, and this contributes to the hair falling everywhere with saliva and other hair allergen external proteins on it.

          • Anon

            I mean, yes, that’s the whole point. The source of the allergen is their saliva on the hair, not the hair itself.

          • Anon

            I think the point is that the hair is everywhere in your house, while the saliva is more limited to the cat’s body when the cat is hairless. I don’t have a hairless cat though so I’m just going by what I’ve read about them.

      • Anon

        It is the breed of cat they are getting – not the age. I can’t go near one of my cats but can snuggle the other one all day with no effect.

    • Rainbow Hair

      My first reply (two kittens! always two kittens! unless it’s three!) got blocked (forgot the thing about entering an email I guess? it’s been a minute/years) … but I’m curious about the shy = pettable thing. One of my kitties was really shy when he came to us, and though he’s warmed up a ton, he’ll run away if I approach him to hang out. When I sit down on the bed, he comes running to snuggle me, but he has to be the initiator. He’s definitely less pettable than our other cats. My snugglebug of a kitten (who is now a very old man) has always been OK with being picked up for snuggles and still is – in fact he sometimes demands it. <3

    • Anonymous

      “likely” doesn’t mean 100% going to happen. I would go with the cat I was most strongly drawn to.

    • Nesprin

      Both! Kittens do better in pairs, it’s no more work than one and the added costs are shots and food.

    • Anon

      Two stray kittens once decided to grace our garden and I could only keep one, gave the other to a friendly neighbor. I kept the “fitter” one (better climber, faster runner, overall more agile) thinking he will survive anything. He’s 19 this year and is the cuddliest cat I ever met.
      It was my first (and last) cat, zero cat experience before that.
      Also, one year after, I have developed severe allergy to – you guessed it – cats. Instead of rehoming the cat, I rehomed myself and the cat stayed with my parents.
      I can confirm what everyone else said above – it’s not the hair, it’s the saliva and such that triggers the allergy (if my cat licked my hand, I would get a rash in that spot, same with small scratches).

    • JD

      Hmm are you sure you want to take on a Bengal as your first cat? I haven’t owned them directly, but have had a few friends and neighbors. They’re beautiful but somehow both more hyper and aloof than your average cat in my experience.

    • MagicUnicorn

      If allergies are a concern, you can reduce reactions by regularly bathing the cats. That’s the only way my allergic parent was able to have pet cats when I was growing up.

  8. Seventh Sister

    I think the answer is yes, blow off Valentine’s Day at least a little bit and go, but I’d love perspective from anyone who is familiar with local politics, especially school boards.

    tl;dr: Is it worth it to attend a school board meeting and speak at public comment?

    My small urban school district is having a problem with the frequency and severity of fights at the middle and high school (I have kids at both). The schools tend to take the position that “we can neither confirm nor deny that a fight occurred” and only communicate in vague terms and/or long after the incident. Neither of my kids have been involved as participants or bystanders, but both have witnessed fights and lunch had to be cut short because of *multiple* fights.

    Through the grapevine and on social media (which is both representative and not), parents with kids in the schools are super, duper upset. There is a public school board meeting tonight. It’s not a special meeting, but the general one that has a public comment portion.

    Since I’m pretty involved in PTA-type stuff, I feel sure that the usual suspects will be there from both extremes. There are the “everything is just wonderful!” people (who mostly have younger kids) and the people who are like “zero tolerance for all!”

    Neither is representative of my perspective. I went to public school K-12. There are fights, there is bad behavior, and probably way more than private school because public school expulsion is difficult. But the frequency and severity of these fights needs to way, way, down, even if that means expulsions, because someone is going to get really hurt and their parents (or their insurance company) isn’t going to be satisfied with a rap session.

    The school board members are mostly “say all the right buzzwords” types who are using this as a springboard to higher office or to burnish their resumes for some education-related job that pays more money. But I think the superintendent and some of the administrators are more practical types that might use their own authority to change this stuff. Is it worth it to go and speak? I’m not much on Valentine’s Day in a the typical year.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Boards listen to comment. If you say nothing they listen to the people they hear from.

    • dear reader

      I have no experience with school boards, but lots of experience with local town boards. It’s always most effective to show up and speak.

      DH and I barely acknowledge Valentines Day, so I definitely wouldn’t let that be a factor in my decision.

      Plus, if you don’t go and use V day as a lame excuse (that you don’t really care about) you’ll definitely wonder if you should have.

    • Cat

      It sounds like it’s no big deal to you to ignore Valentine’s Day in the first place, much less to ignore it for a good reason, so why not go? You’re not going to be seen as weird and unromantic for attending – plenty of people in that boat with you (raises hand; DH and I give the whole thing a wide berth as it’s complete restaurant amateur hour… we celebrate our own anniversary as the romantic holiday.)

    • Anonymous

      Interesting. I was on a school board and we never heard individual school-level issues.This would have been a PTA issue or something the student government addressed with the administration. But if this is going to be the subject of public comment, and you care about it, it was always nice to have a thoughtful, moderate voice on issues, especially if that person had an actual proposal for how things could be handled or a policy that could be effectively implemented. On a couple of occasions I appeared before my school board as a student and effectively rewrote a badly drafted proposed policy via public comment and the board members really appreciated it (the policies were drafted by staff and submitted to the board for approval).

      • Seventh Sister

        It’s a very small district – less than a dozen schools and only one school for certain grades. I find the size deeply weird (my home state mostly has countywide school district) but that’s how it’s arranged.

      • Seventh Sister

        Also, the PTA leadership isn’t great on appropriate responses to school issues. If the PTA leadership likes a certain issue, they say it’s “for the children” and it’s an acceptable PTA position or action item (either publicly or by backchannelling the school administration).

        If it’s something the leadership doesn’t like then their answer is, we can’t even talk about it with administration, the PTA can’t be political. While you’d think that “fewer fights” would be a consensus position, people who have brought this up with the PTA in the past have been perceived as b*tch helicopters who need to let go and scolded by leadership.

    • Anon

      If this is an issue for you, for sure go to the board meeting. Valentines day is a made up holiday you can celebrate any day – like tomorrow, when the chocolate will be half off.

    • Anonymous

      I would definitely go. Does your school district embrace restorative justice practices and PBIS? If so, it will be important for you to speak in that language and make clear that whatever they are doing for restorative practices is not working, and point out that it is substantially impeding the ability of all students to learn.

      • Seventh Sister

        Yes, those are phrases that get thrown around a lot. I like your phrasing a lot, though it’s not how I would naturally describe the problems. My inner voice is more of a Hank Hill / April Ludgate / Sister Michael type.

        • Anonymous

          LOL. I have found that with school stuff, you have to talk in their language or they immediately think you are just a retrograde parent who opposes equity.

    • Anon

      Please do attend; sensible public comment is sometimes in short supply at public meetings, including SB meetings. It’s also helpful to have an ask or suggestions as to what you might want to see happen: more timely communication from admin? Transparency re: disciplinary policies and actions? Parent-centered meetings regarding community resources? Finally, please know that this is a problem everywhere in all schools, large-small-public-private, at some level. Our young people are struggling.

      • Seventh Sister

        My main interests are communication and transparency. Neither is happening right now.

    • Anon

      Lordy no, I wouldn’t bother. Just as you won’t change anyone’s mind on who to vote for, your comments will be ignored. I’d go to dinner with your spouse and nurture your relationship.

      • Anon

        This is just straight up not true. 99% of people in local public office are not in it for the glory. They listen to public comment.

        • Anon

          Please name one single time a public comment has resulted in an actual policy change.

  9. Anon

    AAM type question…is it ever okay to cold message a hiring manager on LinkedIn? Small (40 employees) policy institute in DC.

    • anon

      Yes but set your expectations low as far as getting a response or any sort of “in” from the message being sent.

      • Cat

        yeah, I only actually go in and read LinkedIn messages with any sense of urgency if I’m already connected to the sender. I get way too much financial advisor or legal services software cr-p connection and message requests that I don’t bother logging in otherwise.

          • Anon

            Depends on how many connections you have – people reach out to you in messages through first or second level connections. I don’t think they can do it for third level unless they pay for a prime verision, which lets them connect with anyone. It’s a racket!

    • Liza

      Depends, what’s the purpose of the message? Is it going to contain an explanation/justification for why you can’t just go through the same process as every other applicant that the person will agree with?

    • Anon

      I have and it’s worked for me. Not via LinkedIn though, I’ve figured out the company email and reached out that way. Better is through a mutual connection if you have one so I’d use LI for that. As a hiring manager, I think it shows initiative if it’s a normal type of message.

      • Anon

        “As a hiring manager, I think it shows initiative if it’s a normal type of message.”

        Ugh, this is the worst. If you want potential employees to do something, then tell them to do it. Don’t have secret rules.

  10. Anon

    I’m considering a career change. You could say that today I write the instructions for teapot assembly, and I want to move more directly into teapot assembly itself. Tomorrow I’m having lunch with a senior colleague who made this transition, and who I’ve worked with on a couple projects, to talk about her career and how she made the move. Any good questions I should be sure to ask?

    • Anon

      What did you expect when you made the move, and what was it really like? What was better than expected? What was worse than expected? Any regrets? Do you think you’ll ever go back into writing the instructions rather than assembling?

      This is assuming you’re not using the senior colleague to help you get into the new role. If that’s the case, the questions would be totally different.

  11. Jellybean

    Inspired by this morning’s makeup post – what are your favorite concealers for undereye circles? I’ve never been a big concealer or foundation person but have been noticing my undereye circles more and more and am thinking about trying something. I do worry about it getting trapped in and accentuating fine lines though!

    • Anon

      I like a luminous undereye concealer that reflects more than it covers. My current favorite is from Beauty Pie, which requires a membership (which I find totally worth the $) but Trish McEvoy makes a very nice one too.

    • smurf

      the Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser is hard to beat – comes in a good range of skin tones, very affordable, and it’s thin enough that it covers well but also can easily be worn without foundation (some concealers are SO high coverage that it’s really hard to blend out properly if you’re not wearing a full face).

      • Hypatia

        A contrary experience – this one didn’t work for me, and I’ve tried a BUNCH of concealers. It’s very sheer and I found did not last very long. But I have serious dark circles and require a non-sheer product. From Maybelline, I prefer the Fit Me with the rabbit foot applicator. From CoverGirl, I like the lipstick tube shaped one.

        • Vicky Austin

          +1 to the CoverGirl lipstick tube shaped one – I got that from a rec here and it does a great job.

    • Anonymous

      Following! When I went on a hunt for foundation recently I realized I’m the palest shade in every foundation — but for my concealer for some reason I’m like medium 3.5. So I think I’ve got the wrong color because everyone says your concealer should be a shade lighter than your foundation.

      • Anon

        A concealer you use on your face for blotches, zits, redness, what have you, should be your skin tone. Many people go with a lighter shade just for under eyes. So basically you’d own two shades of concealer. And sometimes two different formulations, for instance I like a thinner concealer under my eyes and a more opaque concealer for blemishes/redness.

    • Anonymous

      Tarte Shape Tape is much more pigmented and moisturizing for me than NARS Creamy Concealer, so it doesn’t settle into fine lines as much

    • Anon

      I like Nars cream concealer. It covers a lot and seems thick in the little pot hutni haven’t had trouble with it gathering in creases and it blends well whether I wear foundation or not.

  12. joan wilder

    Recommendation time: can anyone recommend an Android compatible smart watch with fall detection for an older relative?

    In the spirit of giving while receiving I will say I recently bought the Land’s End Women’s Mid Rise Wide Leg Pajama pants and they are so amazingly soft, washing well, and have pockets. Highly recommend for sleep and lounge.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I have a Samsung Galaxy 4 watch that I bought because it has fall detection for when I ride. I like the watch, but I also haven’t actually fallen to test if fall detection works (knock on wood). It does also have an SOS feature where it will text or call (depending on what you have enabled) your emergency contact if you hit the home button 3 times (I sometimes accidentally do this). Obviously that won’t help if you’re knocked out, but if you’ve fallen and broken something and can’t get up but are otherwise functioning, it’s an option.

  13. Anonymous

    Huh: apparently there is a “zero day exploit” right now and you should update all of your devices asap. (From a friend of a friend who is a former CIA analyst.)

  14. Mobile Credentials

    Our HOA just switched to mobile credentialing for common areas, including our private park. There are no exceptions, not for people who can’t/don’t use smartphones because of religion, disability, age or preference. Everyone has to download the app and use their smartphone to access the common areas for which we pay (very high) HOA fees.

    Thoughts? Emails to the HOA garner a response that this is just the way it is. No discussion at all about exceptions or people who may have difficulty.

    We are in California.

    TIA.

    • Anon

      It is ageist, ableist and classist. I closed my gym membership over it and within a week, the manager decided I did not have to sign in with my phone. I won’t go into the doctor’s office or restaurant with my phone either. As much as I am on my device, I refuse to have any entity decide for me. I wish people would bring lawsuits over this.

    • pugsnbourbon

      How did you get in before – I assume with a swipe card?
      Are there others in your community who also take issue? It’s almost always better to push back in a group.

      • Mobile Credentials

        At the beginning, with a metal device called a key. A year ago, they moved to mobile credentials, but those who objected could get fobs. Now the fobs dob’t work and the smartphone is the only option.

        • Anon

          Whatever you decide to do to push back on this (and I agree it’s worth pushing back on), try to use a little more grace and a little less snark than you used responding to pugsnbourbon’s question. Trying being nice and offering constructive solutions. It’ll go a long way.

          • Mobile Credentials

            Sorry about that. I was making fun of myself for being so old that I prefer traditional keys.

    • Anon

      Oh that is very frustrating! I work at a non profit in Philly and we have to work very hard to make sure services are inclusive to those without smartphones or any sort of internet access

      • Anon

        I think the way for her to go is suggest the HOA might be sued if access is not ADA compliant. They don’t care about people with disabilities but they won’t want to get sued.

    • Anon

      I mean, do you have a smartphone? If so, let it go and save your energy. I cannot see getting worked up about this.

      • Anon

        Sometimes WE object on BEHALF of OTHERS. I would like you to see how my schizoaffective brother tries to work and app on the phone. Or use the computer sign up at the doctor’s office. Do better.

        • Anon

          Eyeroll. Smartphones are here to stay. This is something people are going to have to learn to use.

          • Anon

            How long should a person with MS or Parkinsons have to flail while trying to gain access in public? Do you also think that peole who lost their legs should just have to learn to walk? Do you truly not grasp that some people with disabilities are not able to use apps?

        • Anon

          Yes, the all caps and truly original “do better” really makes your message one that will change hearts and minds and move the needle. Congratulations; I’m sure you do an INCREDIBLE job bringing change to the world around you and not just posting things that make you feel like you and you alone are just so incredibly thoughtful and empathetic.

          Might I suggest that you do better?

          • Anon

            I am sorry that my frustration that professional women do not get that people like my brother have severe disabilities and that requirements to use a phone are barriers to access. If you don’t have empathy for people with disabilities, nothing I can or will say will change you. People like you pushed back against wheelchair access as well.

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